Cruel Obsessions
by GoldenGoddesss
Summary: This story was originally written by another but I love this story and decided to post it on this site for anyone that has not had the chance to read it. This story is Buffy/Angelus so it can get pretty dark at times. Enjoy
1. Chapter 1

_**Summer 2000**_

Angelus stood in the shadows, melting in the background.

Silent and alert. And watching.

Always watching _her_.

The pulsating throb of the music that beat into his ears and filled his body was but a dull mockery of what he felt within when he looked out over the crowd and saw her. Her scent and taste was irrevocably stamped into his senses. There was not one piece of her that he, Angelus, had not touched, had not tasted, had not taken unforgettable ecstasy in.

When the demon retook possession of his body, Angelus took immense pleasure in tormenting Buffy. He stalked her, her friends, and attacked any boys who she showed the slightest interest in. The only reason why they never died was because Buffy was always there to stop him. She couldn't kill him, so she kept a close watch on him and made sure he could never kill her pathetic dates or any other innocents.

The Slayer always devoted to her duties, regardless of personal cost.

He knew how bitterly painful it was for her to encounter him. He looked like Angel, sounded like Angel, but he was no Angel.

While being unable to kill him, Buffy did receive a certain comfort from containing him, using that comfort to assuage the disappointment within for being unable to look past his physical form and fulfill her duty. Night after night, she held the upper hand because she prevented him from doing what his nature required him to do.

Though he had rejoined his vampire fold, he failed to rise to the proportions of past glory because of the strength and skill of the Slayer. It was inevitable, he being an agent of evil and all, to always be thwarted in the fight of the undead versus the living.

Or so he allowed Buffy to think.

While a kill was always pleasurable, it was the battle with the Slayer that made his passions sing. The rough physical contact between them only whetted his appetite for her. He was able to throw, slap, punch, and kick her and not only could she take it, she would always come back for more.

His intentions were never to kill her, at least not yet, but to make her suffer. She needed to suffer for making him her pathetic pet when he had a soul.

She needed to suffer simply because he wished it. And he being Angelus, he made sure she underwent much suffering. But as she suffered so did he, for she became his obsession; his every thought consisted of Buffy.

His torments were by no means confined to the physical pains of their nightly matches. No, Buffy could take the pain of the body-it was her heart that was vulnerable.

Especially to him.

She loved him with every fiber of her being in a way that even she could not understand, but that he understood all too clearly. In fact, he taunted her with it at every turn. She was allowed no escape from her weakness.

How he had reveled in it! Her agony was his ambrosia. Every wince, every tear, every sob-all for him.

Buffy wanted him to be so much like Angel, the one she had loved and lost.

And she despised herself for being drawn to him, Angelus, the one she was supposed to hate.

Hate. What a fickle and undeniably perverse emotion.

Oh if he ravaged Sunnydale, killing every mortal in his path, Buffy would have forced herself to try to kill him and he knew it. As joyful as the carnage would have been, frankly he yawned at the idea. Been there, done that. Besides, mass destruction would make his task of seducing the Slayer a bit difficult.

And to top it all off, that's what she, the Watcher, and her brat pack would have and did expect from him. Now, why should he do what was expected of him? No, the way to throw Buffy off balance and keep her further in his grip was to keep from killing. At least in Sunnydale.

Regardless, Buffy had proved to be stubborn and unwilling to give in her obvious desires. Finally, on a storm-driven night did she submit to him and to their common passions. It had been incredible. So incredible that he did not want to acknowledge how powerful her hold over him had become and all after one night.

After the beginning of their affair, he began showing up at the cemetery while she patrolled, but not with the same intent as before. A couple of times he even helped her when the fight got too thick with vampires. Spike and Druscilla sure as Hell didn't appreciate that, but he was able to pacify them with promises of the Slayer's death. Spike and Dru. Damn, he fucked up, but fucked up good with those two!

Thinking past that unsavory situation, Angelus remembered how he painstakingly began to break Buffy's will. He began entering her home in no set pattern. Sometimes he'd climb into the window in her room and wait for her to come in. Other times he'd use the front door and wait in the quaint living room with her clueless mother and chit-chat about how Buffy really was benefiting from being tutored in history.

Just thinking about her reaction to finding him there brought a twinkle to his old Irish eyes. Buffy tried to bluff that she felt no fear or anxiety over his presence in her home while her mother was there (why would she fear him when she could take him out at any time?) but she never fooled him.

Her fear manifested itself in many ways that were simple for a creature such as himself to easily detect. The way she fidgeted as she sat on her bed or the sofa, the way she covertly watched him, the way her life's blood would accelerate through her body, causing the vein on her neck to pulse rapidly, were all too telling signs of her wariness.

Buffy had had every right to be wary of him. Occasionally, every demonic impulse of his demanded that he drain the blood out of her, for she was a human and he a vampire. Little did she know that it was his obsessive lust that kept her alive during those moments.

It was most strongly at these times that Buffy lulled herself into believing that maybe he was more Angel than Angelus.

Oh how he loved disabusing her of that notion! Even so, she could not help but be drawn to him, Angelus.

Over the course of a few weeks he had carefully laid the groundwork for his seduction of the Slayer. And it had worked, but then he had gotten greedy. He had wanted everything she had to offer. He wanted her submission, her blind desire, but most importantly-her love.

When she surrendered her heart to him, Angelus, he would possess Buffy for eternity. With her knowingly being the mistress of a demon, and furthermore, in LOVE with the very same demon, his control over her physically and mentally would be undeniable to all.

In time his plans became realized. Buffy the Vampire Slayer became the slave of a vampire. The inner torment she underwent was pure sweetness for him. She felt shame and hatred for allowing him into her and for allowing him to treat her gently or harshly dependant on his whim. It didn't matter to him for in the end she always crawled into his bed. Just remembering every lustful, passionate moment between them made him so hard that it bordered on pain.

Pain.

A wicked grin twisted his sensuous lips. He taught Buffy numerous things, including to crave the pain almost, if not more, than the pleasure. He had molded the Slayer to be the perfect concubine. His concubine.

Things could have continued the way they were for all of eternity as far as he was concerned. In all his two and a half centuries he had never encountered anyone who could fulfill every dark and twisted desire of his like Buffy could. His kind was incapable of feeling human love, but he felt the closest thing to it for Buffy: passion.

His passion for Buffy consumed him. Nothing could satisfy his ever-present hunger for her, he even played with others in an effort to banish his need for the Slayer. In his brilliant quest to enslave her, he hadn't counted on also becoming her slave. He had thought that once he had Buffy, his obsession for her would fade, eventually to disappear. Then he would allow Druscilla or Spike to kill her. Everyone would be happy: his lust would be satisfied and he wouldn't be in betrayal of his kind plus the Slayer would be dead.

Problem was that he didn't want to see Buffy lying dead at his feet anymore. How could he keep her and keep his fold from eventually seeing through his excuses? At the time he was the most powerful among them, but Spike's infirmary wouldn't be permanent and he had a real strong itch to kill Buffy, so what was he to do?

Unfortunately his hand became forced one night. The choice between Buffy and his own needed to be made. That night Angelus took a step that would never be forgotten by either human or undead. He committed the unpardonable crime of destroying his own kind to save her, a Slayer. _His Slayer_.

Did she ever recognize the significance of his sacrifice? No. That night his faithless bitch ran. She left Sunnydale and never looked back.

Moving through the crowd, Angelus' gaze never left sight of Buffy. He had followed her to this club from her apartment building. It was sheer chance that he even saw her leave her building. He had followed a questionable lead that placed her in the area, but he hadn't really expected to find her here in this city.

At first he couldn't believe that after all this time he had finally found her. But he didn't doubt the way his body reacted at her sight. It was as if all this time without her he had been incomplete. Upon seeing her he felt whole, his primal urges recognized her as his mate. Several times he was tempted to seize her off the streets, but each time he forced his impulses down. There was too high of a chance that she could elude him. No, he'd wait until she went home.

His wintry gaze narrowed as he watched the young punk dancing with Buffy grab her hips and pull her close. Pure menace radiated from Angelus, causing several women who were approaching him to scatter away. From the way Buffy's body suddenly tensed, it seemed she also sensed danger.

Good. An evil look of satisfaction transformed his face to one of unholy beauty. She had every reason in the world to feel fear. He hoped she lived and breathed in fear.

Of him.

Of the night when her time of existing without him ended.

His eyes followed her hasty exit out of the club. Satisfaction filled his cold heart with its special warmth. Casually strolling through the crush of humanity he felt a twinge of thirst. No, he'd go a little thirsty tonight. Besides he had a different thirst to slake with the Slayer. After all, it had taken him two years to find her. Why hold off the joyful reunion any longer than necessary?

Reaching outside his keen vampire gaze saw Buffy in a cab a mile up the road. _Enjoy this time while you can, lover, because it's your last moments alone._ And just like that, he melted into the night.

And unbeknownst to Buffy, back into her life.


	2. Chapter 2

Once again Buffy felt wariness creep over her. It was as if her body were screaming for her to leave, to run, to get the hell out of there or else she would be sorry.

As if she didn't live with sorrow every second of her existence.

So instead of listening to her instincts Buffy stubbornly continued to dance. She let the music fill her body, let it become one with every pulse and throb in her heart and in her blood. She raised her arms and let her head lean back as she mindlessly followed the music. All feelings of danger melted away as she succumbed to the ecstasy of the throbbing pulse in the dance club.

Her partner pulled her close to his body until they were molded hip to hip, thigh to thigh. It was as if he sensed her abandonment and naturally responded to her sexually. Buffy could feel his hard-on but didn't care. When the night ended she would be going home alone and he-well he would probably find someone else agreeable for a night of meaningless sex.

No, sex was definitely not what she was looking for.

Not that she hadn't tried to lose herself in sex once before, but in the end she just couldn't let it happen. It had felt all wrong, and irrational as it was, she felt guilty for even trying. How could she ever bring herself to allow someone else to touch her after being with Angelus?

Her thoughts immediately shied away from _him_. Desperately they returned to the present: the dance club, the flashing lights, the frenetic crowd crushed against her. She could think about him later, when she was alone.

Hungry. Wanting.

And dying a little more each day without him.

Immediately all pleasure she felt dissolved. She had to get out of there. Stopping she gave a sorrowful smile and a small wave to her partner. Turning away from his puzzled expression Buffy headed towards the exit. Just as she almost reached the large iron door, she felt a wave of uneasiness rush over her again. Whipping around to scan the crowd she saw...nothing.

Turning back to the door she quickly opened it and left. Deciding not to walk home because she was rattled and really didn't feel like having to kick or kill anybody's ass tonight, Buffy raised an arm to signal a cab.

Once settling on the cracked leather seat and giving her address she thought about her strange reactions that night. It just wasn't like her to freak out like that. Maybe it was something in the air that just gave her the creeps.

 _Maybe he's found you_ whispered a tiny voice in her heart.

At that thought, Buffy felt the icy fingers of fear grip her heart. Could it be?

Not likely. A small, perverse part of her felt disappointment instead of comfort in that assumption.

Angelus was most likely feasting from some other young body. Literally and/or sexually. He would not be wasting his time with finding her. Granted she DID try to kill him, Spike, and Druscilla, but...

Mentally shaking her head Buffy didn't think it would be reason enough to track her down. What would be the point? He had proved his dominance and eventually got bored with the sport of breaking her heart. If there was anything he probably regretted it was the fact that she had just left, instead of committing suicide or something else equally lame.

 _As if you didn't consider it_ whispered the same disquieting voice.

Bleakly Buffy gazed out the window spying the passing nighttime scenery of neon lights, clubbers, hookers, pimps, and johns. She did consider it more than once and that's why she left. Her last night in Sunnydale proved that fact more than anything else.

Closing her eyes she remembered the madness and desperation that possessed her that night. If she had to witness Angelus one more time with anyone else...

Buffy felt ashamed because she just left without explanation to anyone. She just left. She could only guess at what Giles, Willow, Xander, and maybe even Cordelia must have felt when she never showed up the next morning. She just couldn't face them and their recriminations. She shouldn't have disappeared, she knew now and she knew it then, but she just couldn't deal.

A quick distant childhood memory of her mother flashed in her mind. Mom. God how she missed her mom! She couldn't imagine what her mom must have went through and was probably still going through. Countless times Buffy would stand at a payphone with the phone clutched tightly in her hand, just wanting to dial the number-but she couldn't.

No, she was not going to drag the people she loved through her mess anymore. She wasn't going to put them through her self-inflicted hell. She was going to be stronger than that. Even if it meant never seeing them again.

 _How strong was it to walk away from your friends and family Buffy? How strong was it to run away from your duty? Face it: you ran because of HIM. From him. You pathetic coward, you deserve to be alone._

Sadly Buffy acknowledged the truth of her thoughts. She did run from Angelus. She ran from her enslavement. She ran from their sick, twisted relationship. She ran from her sick love.

Angrily wiping away the tears that sprang unwillingly Buffy saw her building loom ahead. Reaching into her pocket she pulled out a couple of wrinkled bills and handed them over to the cabby. Murmuring for him to keep the change she sprang out of the cab and dejectedly walked into her building.

Damn him! Damn him for being able to creep into her thoughts, into her heart, into her very goddamned soul! It's been two years since she left Sunnydale, plenty of time to get over someone. Even a demon lover. Especially a demon lover. But nooo, she still had to fucking care about some vampire prick who had only used and abused her for his own sadistic pleasures!

But most of all GODDAMN herself for she still could not let go of him.

Jamming her key into the lock Buffy angrily opened the door to her studio apartment. Shutting the door with her foot she tiredly massaged the side of her neck. She couldn't continue like this. She already spent countless hours of the day remembering and yearning for him, alternately loving and loathing him. Her only real escape had been dancing. It was pretty hard to think or remember your own name, much less anyone else's, when the music was pounding so hard into your body that all but one of your senses were shut off.

Now even that minuscule bit of refuge was taken from her.

Tonight was the first night that she ever thought about Angelus while dancing. He would always come to the front of her mind before she went to the club, after she came back from the club, and all the hours in-between the club, but never while she was in it.

Buffy irritably sighed. What she really needed now wasn't some internal introspective about why she was fucked in the head for thinking about her demon ex-lover, but a shower. Long and extremely hot. Then she needed to sleep or at least try to until she fell unconscious from sheer exhaustion.

Haphazardly shedding her clothes all the way to the shower Buffy felt a frisson of fear course through her once again. Pausing in mid-walk she stood tense and alert as she waited. What she was waiting for she didn't know but then-the feeling went away. "You're definitely losing it Buffy," she spoke aloud. Her voice sounded strong but shaky.

"Oh well, it's nothing that a hot shower can't take care of...at least I hope." With that she went into the tiny bathroom and started her shower.

After standing under the nozzle for several minutes she distantly heard pounding at the door. Not really wanting to end her shower she stood there for another minute hoping the noise would go away.

Unfortunately she wasn't that lucky. Buffy resignedly turned the knobs off. Damn Clarisse for locking Viv out again! Every weekend without fail Clarisse (who lived down the hall) would bring home some young stud and deadbolt her roommate Viv out so she could screw in peace. Yeah, but what about her peace? Well, she couldn't leave Viv out in the hall to wait until dawn. It wouldn't be very neighborly of her now would it?

Wrapping a towel around her body and one around her hair Buffy went to the door, unlocked it, and then immediately turned back to go finish her shower. She yelled over her shoulder "Come on in! Sorry to keep you waiting out so long but I was in the shower." She was almost to the bathroom when she heard the door open.

She froze as every instinct screamed a dire warning. Numbness spread through her body when she felt _him_. Terrified to be right, afraid to be wrong Buffy slowly turned around. When she saw him standing there inside her home, looking so darkly beautiful, Buffy almost collapsed in a boneless heap.

Seeing her shock and smelling her fear, Angelus cruelly smiled. Deliberately sauntering over to her he stopped when only mere inches separated them. "Hello lover," he seductively whispered. "Thanks for the invite. It really saved a lot of time. Happy to see me? I know I'm _thrilled_ to see you."

Gently running his hand over her jaw, Angelus looked intensely into her eyes before he closed his hand and painfully gripped her chin. "I've only had two years to miss you and believe me Buffy, you're going to _deeply_ feel every one of those days that I had to go on without your lovely presence."


	3. Chapter 3

"Angelus..."

"That's right baby, it's me Angelus. Your Angelus." Leaning down he brushed his cool lips softly over her trembling ones. Ever so slowly he coaxed Buffy's lips to accept him. Releasing his grip on her chin Angelus unwrapped the towel covering her hair. As their tongues painlessly dueled, he ran his smooth hands through her wet, dark blond strands. When he felt her body relax his gentle ministrations suddenly turned harsh. Fisting his hands Angelus pulled Buffy's head away, ignoring her swift cry of pain.

Buffy felt the tingling of her scalp was nothing compared to the pain in her mind. All she could think was _YOU stupid idiot! How the hell could you just invite someone in without knowing for sure who it was! Especially at night!_

At the same time, even though she had never known terror such as she was feeling at that moment, her traitorous body was aroused. Her breasts felt full and heavy, her stomach felt tight with tension, her limbs felt weak and she throbbed...everywhere.

But most especially between her legs where she could feel herself growing wet, aching to have him there inside her. Regardless of the fact that she might not live to see the next sunrise, her body wanted Angelus.

How could she want him though? Even knowing all that he had become, how could she, the Slayer still want him so desperately?

Giving her head a hard shake Angelus snarled, "You bitch! I should kill you! How dare you think that you can just up and leave and everything between us would be over? That is what you thought, isn't it? ISN'T IT?"

"Yes! Yes, yes, YES! I wanted it to be over! I couldn't take being your slave! I couldn't take being whatever it was that you wanted! I couldn't take not having the strength to stand up to you! I hated losing my dignity to you! I hated seeing and knowing that I wasn't the only one..." At this last confession Buffy abruptly stopped and angrily glared at him behind a sheen of tears.

Ruthlessly chuckling Angelus let go of her hair and slowly walked around Buffy, never letting her leave his sight. "So that's, forgive my choice of words here, the _heart_ of the matter isn't it Buffy? Not the other bullshit you were spouting, but my lack of fidelity. Imagine that a Slayer, even knowing about the nature of the vampire, still expecting faithfulness from one."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Angelus pretended to ponder those thoughts. Arching his brows, he smirked at the naked vulnerability he saw behind her anger. "Buff I thought you were smarter than that. As I've told you before, I'm an extremely greedy creature, how can one woman be enough?"

Hearing his mocking scorn Buffy felt a murderous passion run through her. God what she wouldn't do for a stake right now! Swallowing a flow of venomous, hurt-filled words Buffy icily stated "Yeah you're right, how can one ever be enough for you? Now that you know why I split you can do us both a favor and get the hell out of here. After all, I'd hate to deprive the world of its' number one all-time favorite vampire lover. Leave. Now."

Angelus' smirk immediately disappeared. Stalking towards her he held both of her arms in a painful grip. "Not likely lover. First I'm going to show you what I do to pretty little girls that leave before I'm finished with them. You are my property Buffy, now and until the end of time. Mine. By the time I'm finished with you tonight, you'll never want to leave me." With a smug look on his face he silkily purred, "In fact, you'll be begging for me to stay."

His arrogant words pierced Buffy's anger. Much to her shame instead of stirring her fury, he only fanned the flames of her lust. In a flash a thousand past erotic memories assailed her weakening mind. The ecstasy she had found time and time again in Angelus' arms was too powerful, too addictive. Buffy knew that his promise was no idle boast. In fact, it had happened too many times that they both knew it to be the truth.

A calculated smile crossed his lips as his dark gaze took in every look that flitted across Buffy's face. "That's right babe, I know what you're thinking. You're remembering what I can make you feel. You're wondering if I'm going to give it to you rough tonight." He leaned forward and placed a light kiss on her temple.

"You're trying to guess if I'm going to fuck you...or if I'm going to be gentle." Angelus removed her remaining towel and ran his hands over her skin. Lightly he caressed her collar bones and then moved down to her breasts. His large hands cupped and kneaded her flesh before fleetingly tracing her nipples. A moan unwillingly escaped Buffy's lips as her nipples grew hard from the pleasure. "And the bitch of it is that you want me so goddamned much you really don't care do you?"

Buffy was lost. He felt so good. It was all she could do to stand there when what she really wanted to do was fling her arms around his neck and wrap her legs around his waist.

His hands moved to her back where they traced little patterns on her skin. "Ooh I think my little Slayer wants her master all right. I just wonder how many bad things you'll do for me just to feel me in that tight, wet little pussy of yours." Angelus' voice lowered into barely a whisper while he licked and nibbled her earlobe. "I just wonder how long I'll make you beg before I satisfy your hunger."

Buffy's body was racked with shudders as his hands moved down to her stomach. Teasingly he ran them close to where she ached the most. Ever so slowly he would get close to her tight curls before moving away to play with her breasts.

Buffy felt a plea rise up out of her before she quickly clamped it down. Her fog of desire broke as she saw the same self-destructive patterns repeating within herself. No, it wasn't right. This wasn't right. Being with him wasn't right. The old cloak of submission was sliding over her as if the two-year separation had been only two minutes.

Suddenly she pushed Angelus away before delivering a powerful uppercut that sent him sprawling. Not giving him a chance to recover, Buffy savagely kicked him in his midsection. She knew that she could either stay and fight or she could run. Ignoring the voice in her head that called her a coward, Buffy picked up her towel and ran.

She had only made it a few steps before Angelus tackled her to the ground. Her breath came out in a big whoosh. In his rage, the demon emerged and transformed his face. "Alright Buffy you wanna play rough tonight? I'm game."

Picking her up, Angelus headed towards her four-posted wrought-iron bed. "I like the posts Buff, I'll have to make sure we put them to good use later on." Tossing her down on her back he turned away, picked up a discarded towel, and had it shredded quickly into four strips. In an amazingly short period of time he had Buffy tied spread-eagle, tying her arms tightly, but leaving some slack on her legs.

A part of her shouted _Come on Buffy! You can get out of this, use some of that Slayer-strength you're so well known for! Don't let him do this to you again!_ But the stronger, or maybe weaker, part of her said _It's no use, you belong to this demon masquerading as a man. You want it too much to fight against it. Submit to him Buffy, you really have no other choice._

The familiar feelings of shame and humiliation flooded her as she mentally warred within. As wrong as she knew it was to give in to him again, she anticipated the pleasure and the pain. She yearned for his tender cruelties. _How sick I am to want this, to need him!_

Turning her head to the side Buffy felt the tears trickle down her face. Instead of inciting pity, they only incited wicked glee in Angelus. His demon visage disappeared, returning back to his eternally handsome human face. Standing back from the bed he slowly shed his black leather long-coat. Casually he unbuttoned his black silk shirt before moving to his leather pants. His hands paused in mid-action as he looked at Buffy.

Walking over to the bed he climbed on until he was crouched over Buffy's face while resting on his calves. "Buffy...Buffy..." Angelus softly crooned. When she continued to ignore him his hand shot out to slap her cheek. While it wasn't a hard slap, it was still sharp enough to sting. "Please make sure you keep your attention focused on me babe. While giving you the discipline you need does bring a smile to my face, it can all get tedious if it's over the same infraction."

The stinging pain of her face lit a fire of rebellion in Buffy's heart. Angrily glaring at him she spat "Is this better Angelus? I mean it's been so long since I've played helpless slave to the all-powerful vampire that sometimes I forget."

The sarcasm in her voice caused his mouth to tighten in anger. "You're in no position to mouth off like that Slayer. If I were you I'd be doing everything to make me happy right now."

"Ooh that's right. Or you'll do something horrible like rape or kill me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard it before like a million times, so please spare me okay? Really, I think you need to look up what tedious means because that's what _you're_ being. God didn't you ever go to school in Ireland?" Cocking her head to the side, she mused out loud "But it was like two thousand years ago, so they probably didn't do formal education huh? Reading in a dictionary might be too much of a challenge for you." Buffy ended with a display of false sympathy. "Oh you poor baby!"

Angelus' first reaction was to take his belt off and whip her until she was crying for mercy. Then he realized that as long as she wasn't mad with desire for him, her pain would bring him no real pleasure. Buffy would stoically take the pain but instead of fueling her hunger for him, it would most likely end with a stake in his chest.

Patience. That's what he needed to have with his little Slayer. After all, she had had two years to forget her training. Besides, after he brought her to heel, he would punish her for this infraction.

When his hand moved towards her mouth Buffy slightly flinched. Instead of a slap, he ran his fingertips lightly across her lips. Her surprised gaze quickly flew to meet his brooding one. Wryly smiling he murmured, "I forget how sharp of a tongue you have Buffy. Sometimes it pleases me, sometimes it doesn't. I wonder which way it will be tonight."

Not giving her a chance to answer he moved off her body. He settled at the end of the bed to take off his socks and boots. However, the pants stayed on. While he had a slight revision in plans, he wasn't going to change everything. This was one fantasy he had waited too long for. Patience. That's all he needed.

"It's amazing Buffy but somehow you've managed to turn the tables tonight. I've imagined for two years on how this moment would be. None of them were pleasant of you, and now instead of punishing you, I find that I want to pleasure you. Lucky girl. Oh well, don't fight instinct is what I always say." Looking over her stiff body Angelus felt a thrill of lust at her resigned helplessness. If she had really wanted to get off the bed she could have broken through those bonds. The fact that she hadn't proved that he hadn't lost all control over Buffy's will.

Crawling over to lay length-wise next to her Angelus idly ran his hands over her tense body. Instead of recoiling away from his touch her body warmed to him. Her nipples immediately tightened and became diamond-hard. They looked like succulent, ripe berries that he just had to taste.

Bending his head he let his cool lips close over one nipple. Buffy let out a muffled groan as his lips gently sucked and nipped while his hand delicately pinched and pulled on her other nipple.

As her sounds of pleasure grew more intense Angelus became voracious. He began to suck and lick not just her nipple, but also her whole breast, alternately going back and forth between them while squeezing them in his hands. Buffy felt the rough scrape of his teeth several times but it only heightened her passions.

Restlessly she began to tug at her bonds. She wanted to touch him so badly. Her momentary rebellion died out as quickly as it had flared up as she surrendered to her desire. How could she have wanted never to feel this again?

Moving his mouth from her breasts Angelus licked and sucked her throat for several moments before returning back to her beaded nipples. He didn't feel like he could wait for very long before he _had_ to be inside her. When she moaned his name, his mouth swooped up to capture hers. "That's right baby, it's Angelus," he hoarsely said between kisses.

"Oh Angelus...I've missed...you...this..."

Kissing her throat he groaned. "I love it when you're all breathy and you say my name." One of his hands moved from her breast to skim down her waist to lie on top of her mound of curls. Parting the slick lips he rubbed his finger across her swollen clit. He rubbed back and forth for a few seconds, all the while listening to her ragged moans. Pulling his finger away he smugly grinned against her throat at her moan of protest.

Moving up to thoroughly kiss Buffy again Angelus felt as if he were going to burst at any moment. However, he wanted to hold off the final pleasure for as long as possible. "I wonder if you taste as good as you smell." At her smoky look of anticipation he wickedly brought the same finger he used to touch her up to her mouth. Shamelessly her pink tongue curled up around his finger and drew it into her mouth.

With a feral smile Angelus maddeningly took his time down her body. He couldn't pass up her magnificent breasts and spent several minutes caressing them both equally. Eventually moving lower he nipped her taut stomach a couple of times before dipping his tongue into her tiny navel. He then slid his mouth across both shapely hips before sliding down further.

Instead of placing his mouth where she most desired it, he drew little moist patterns with his tongue up both of her inner thighs. By this time Buffy's chest was heaving and her body ws covered with perspiration.

Delighting in her strangled cries of frustration, Angelus took his time worshipping her legs. His tongue ran down towards her knees; he first lightly bit one then the other before slightly raising each to suck the sensitive skin behind them. "I remember you like that Buffy." His voice dropping a notch he murmured, "In fact I haven't forgotten anything."

Frustration making her voice tense she snapped, "If you remember everything, then what are you waiting for?"

Settling his chin on her dark curls, he teasingly ran his fingertips up and down her leg. "While I haven't forgotten anything, it seems that you have."

Recognition dawning in her eyes Buffy felt a spurt of resistance before she quelled it. She was too aroused to pull back now. Swallowing a lump of pride she whispered, "Please lick me. I want to feel your tongue on me, it's been so long since..."

"And..."

"But only...if it pleases you...Angelus."

"You see my darling slave, all you must do is request and I will perform." Moving his head lower, Angelus parted her puffy lips with his tongue and began to lap her quivering flesh. First slow and languid, and then fast and frenzied. Buffy's moans of delight became increasingly louder and her movements became erratic as her hips lifted up and down to his sinful stroking.

Angelus laid one hand across her belly to keep her still while he took his other hand to stroke her slippery flesh. When he inserted one finger inside her, Buffy's muscles clenched tightly in pleasure. One finger became two and then three while his lips and tongue were busy licking and sucking on her swollen clit.

Buffy felt her orgasm build as all the sensation in her body centered on where Angelus' mouth was. She could not remember there ever being a time when she felt this intensely. Opening her eyes she glanced down and her arousal rose up to a fevered pitch. The sight of her lover's dark head and hands right there between her widespread thighs brought forth another groan of ecstasy.

Knowing Buffy's body the way he did, Angelus knew that she was on the verge of coming. Abruptly pulling away from her he sat back on his heels. Buffy groaned in protest and was about to spit out an obscenity when her gaze locked on his.

Anything she was about to say died in her throat. His dark gaze was so compelling, so hypnotic, she felt herself melt. At that moment he could have asked anything of her and it would have been done. She still needed and loved him that much.

Demon. Slayer. Enemies. Lovers.

None of it mattered.

All that mattered was this.

"You know what I want now baby?"

"Oh yes, lover. I know what you want."

Moving up her body Angelus once again crouched over her face. His hands gently touched the planes of her face before tracing her full lips. Quickly nipping his fingers, Buffy's lustful gaze fixed on the bulging crotch in front of her. "I like your pants, but they have got to get out of my way."

Bringing her head forward her small, white teeth got a hold of the top button and maneuvered it out of the hole. Painstakingly she repeated her movements time and time again, even though her neck muscles screamed in agony. All the while Angelus held her gaze with his own fathomless one as his hands idly played with her hair.

When the last button became undone, his long, thick penis sprang forth. Breaking their intense visual contact, Buffy's eyes glazed over with delight at the sight. Running her tongue along the underside, she felt a thrill when Angelus' deep groan rang through the air. Repeatedly she only tongued the underside of his cool flesh, reveling in the power she had over him.

During moments like this their positions reversed. She became the tormentor and he the helpless victim. The slave became the master, and the master became the willing slave.

Finally she ran her tongue around the tip of his velvet head, eliciting another pained sound of pleasure from Angelus. After doing this for several moments, Buffy completely enveloped him in her mouth. Slowly she moved her head up and down on his cool, rigid length, this time being rewarded with low growls.

For a long time the only sounds to be heard were Angelus' increasingly loud growls and the wet smacking noises of Buffy's mouth. His hands were now gripped tightly in her damp hair. He debated whether or not to come in her mouth. As pleasurable as that would be, Angelus wanted to hear the Slayer plead for him to plunge into her.

Maybe he would. Maybe he wouldn't.

Oh who the fuck was he trying to kid? Of course he would!

Pulling his body away, Angelus unsteadily stood up. Dispassionately gazing down at his bound woman, he nonchalantly said, "As great as this is feeling Buff, I think you were right to leave Sunnydale and me. Finding you wasn't really worth all the time and effort. Hell, you did try to kill us all that night! I think I'll just leave and maybe nab some young thing off the streets..."

Sadistically grinning at her mounting outrage he apologized. "Oh sorry. Forgot you were the Slayer and not just some hot piece. Forget that part I said earlier." Turning away from Buffy he called out "I'll just let myself out and forget we ever saw one another."

Burning red from humiliation Buffy recognized what game he was playing. He would just walk out if she didn't call him back, but he wouldn't be gone forever. And there would be hell to pay because she didn't call him back. She really was tempted to let him go, but her body felt so hot and achy. She knew before the words were out what she'd say.

"Angelus! Please don't leave. Not tonight...I need you so much. Please don't go. I ache so much and you've taught me so well. Just...don't...go." The end was pleaded in a broken sob as the humiliation of the situation settled on her. Two years had done nothing to end her compulsive need for him. She still felt as torn between her pride and lust as she did before, and her pride continued to lose her lust.

Triumph gleaming brightly in his lustful gaze, Angelus knew he still had her just as strongly as before. Leisurely stripping off his leather pants, his body prepared for the sweetest triumph yet. Completely naked now, his muscles fairly rippled as he padded over to the bed.

"You know what this means, don't you baby?" At her nod he continued. "I won't let you go after tonight Buffy. You try to leave and I will kill you...and maybe make you live forever. You better be sure of the choice you're making."

Bitterness laced her words as she answered, "Choice? What choice is there Angelus? Regardless of what my mind says, my heart and body say yes to you. And you know that. I need you. Without you I'm dead anyways, it's only a matter of time."

Settling between her spread thighs he mockingly grinned. "Why I'm truly touched Buffy. I think you just said that you loved me." Suddenly thrusting fully within her body his eyes closed from the overwhelming sensations of finally being in her again and hearing her high-pitched scream. She felt so tight and so warm around him. He knew he hurt her with his invasion but didn't care. It was just one of the many pains he planned on inflicting later in the night.

"You see Buffy these are just the moments you want to treasure. A woman tells you she loves you and the next minute almost kills you with the best pussy you've had in centuries." Looking down at her flushed face he lowered his lips until they were a hairsbreadth away from hers. "You make being a demon worth it lover. You're one hell of a lay babe."

Surprising them both she growled "Shut-up and fuck me." Breaking free from her bonds Buffy's hands pulled his dark head down and passionately kissed him while simultaneously wrapping her legs around his lean waist.

Their mouths mutually devoured each other. Angelus' tongue mimicked the thrust and retreat of his lower body while Buffy greedily sucked him in her mouth. Buffy was in a heaven and hell of their making. She had dreamed so long of being with him again like this, but her fantasy fell pitifully short of the reality of having him in her body.

First his thrusts were slow and controlled but she soon found dissatisfaction with the sedate pace. Gripping his waist she forcefully moved his hips until his thrusts became faster. Amusement at her aggressiveness caused him to murmur "Greedy bitch" before kissing her again.

Pulling her hands up above her head, their fingers entwined as their bodies frenzied movements grew increasingly faster. Angelus' cock pounded into her hungry pussy until Buffy thought she would die of ecstasy. Her hips furiously surged up to meet and encase all of his rigid length.

Ripping her lips away from his Buffy's gasps grew short and sharp. Thrashing her head from side to side, she felt her orgasm begin to build. "Yes...Angelus...umm, baby...don't stop...yes, please...oh, yes...I'm gonna...oh,yes..."

Running his tongue down her ear Angelus' crooned "Oh yeah baby, come for me...I want to hear you come...I want to feel you come around my cock...give it to me baby..."

Spurred on by his words and body, Buffy stiffened as she arched up and screamed "ANGELUS!" All the pain, betrayal, want, and need manifested itself into that one desperate cry. Once again his body mastered hers with the dark magic of their passions. He was and always would be her salvation and damnation.

The rippling of her inner walls around his cock caused Angelus to pound into Buffy with a ferocious tempo as he sought his own orgasm. Releasing her hands he grabbed both of her thighs in a bruising grip. Her lips and tongue busily sucked and licked his hard, flat nipples while her hands roamed his wide back.

He could feel his balls tightening as pounded savagely into Buffy's body. He didn't want to admit it to himself but this is what he had been missing for two years. He knew now that everything that he had done was all worth it, if only to hold this mortal, this woman. His woman.

A few seconds later he stiffened as his own unbelievable orgasm overtook him. Helplessly Angelus clutched Buffy's hips as spasm after spasm rocked him. It seemed like an eternity by the time it was over. Collapsing on her body, he lay there for several minutes before rolling over to his side bringing her with him.

Glancing down at Buffy he saw that she had trustingly fallen asleep. Mentally he relived what had happened. What an incredible fuck it was! Even though he hadn't made her beg as much as he originally planned, it was still incredible. As hard as it was for him to acknowledge it he had missed her. This woman was his and though he hadn't yet punished her to prove his possession, he knew that Buffy felt and recognized his ownership.

But had she betrayed his right of possession? Had she allowed another to be where only he had been?

Tightening his arms around her, his post-coital mood abruptly vanished. It was something that he had not spent a great deal of time thinking about, but the questions burned brightly in his mind now.

Forcing his body to relax Angelus gazed at his sleeping lover. If Buffy had been unfaithful to him, she would undergo all the torments of Hell on earth. All of her Slayer strength would not aid her in escaping his fury.

That was a vengeful promise he would be more than able to fulfill.


	4. Chapter 4

Buffy found herself in a place between the land of the conscious and the realm of sleep. Dimly feeling her body had lost its' natural warmth she began to shiver. Sleepily she burrowed closer to the body next to her, but instead of heat she found coolness. Unwillingly her sleep became more and more elusive and wakefulness more of a threat.

A furrow wrinkled her brow as she struggled to find sleep. She wasn't ready to face reality yet. Sleep was what she really needed. Drifting again towards the sand castles of dreams, she drowsily smiled. Aah yes, sleep. It was all she needed.

After several minutes, a dream started to form from the mist-filled chambers of her mind. Buffy saw herself running through a cemetery, being pursued by countless vampires. She felt as if she should turn and fight but instinctively she knew she couldn't because she wasn't strong enough. _Why aren't I strong anymore? What happened to my strength?_

On and on she ran. Running through her neighborhood she thought, _'Home! I gotta make it to my house!'_ before realizing she couldn't put her mom in danger. Miserably she ran past the security of home. On she ran past the high school, briefly thinking about Giles and how he'd react to the news of the rising of the new Slayer.

All the while the horde was right behind her, just a few steps back. Not close enough to catch her, but close enough that if she faltered even once they would be able to pounce.

Just when she didn't know where she could go to elude the bloodthirsty pack, she found herself in a thick, mist-filled forest. Her legs felt leaden and her lungs felt as if they were about to burst, but Buffy had to force herself to go on. The will to live, despite seemingly insurmountable odds, was too strong for her to give up.

Through the endless forest she ran, tearing past skeletal-like branches that tore at her clothes, jumping over ancient logs that continuously fell in her path, and all the while still being pursued by a ravenous pack. They seemed not to lose an inch; in fact they appeared to be gaining speed, to be gaining power from the evil wood enclosing them all.

Buffy's sleepy smile faded away as her nightmare pressed relentlessly upon her. Rolling over she unconsciously sought comfort but found emptiness. Panic and terror began to overwhelm her in suffocating waves. Where to go? Where to hide?

Just when she found herself at the edge of hysteria, an enormous gray-stoned castle appeared in a clearing before her. Not even daring to look over her shoulder she pushed her body to the limits of endurance to make it up the seemingly hundreds of steps. Finally reaching the top, she frantically pounded on the heavy double doors, oblivious to the splinters piercing her skin, sobbing because no one answered.

While Buffy fought for entrance, the pack of demons could be heard scrambling up the stone steps, panting with the need for her blood. Just as they reached a few feet from her and Buffy felt that seconds were all that were left for her, the doors suddenly opened. Whispering a devout prayer of thanks she rushed in, barely slamming the doors in time.

Just like the sudden hush of flame being extinguished, the world became unnaturally silent. Collapsing against the door, she looked around to see where she was. A cavernous, medieval-like room with fireplaces blazing on three walls greeted her sight.

Weapons from a span of centuries were hung throughout the hall. Katana swords, claymores, maces, rapiers, daggers, battle-axes, shields, and numerous other deadly weapons silently spoke their testament to death and destruction. Looking up she saw the ceiling was at least fifty feet above, the beams blackened from centuries of smoke.

Hesitatingly she walked further into the room, momentarily forgetting about the world outside. The hall held the whisper of the surreal, it seemed like something out of a dark fantasy. It had a timeless aura, as if the original occupants were still there. Cold, black marble floors caused her footsteps to ring loudly as she unerringly moved towards a raised dais near the end of the room.

Someone was there watching her, piercing her with his gaze, but who? His features were obscured by shadow, the fire casting an unholy halo around the enormous throne where he sat. She knew him, but...

Recognition dawned upon her at the same time he stood up. All of a sudden Buffy realized that she no longer felt winded, but instead felt very, very chilled. Looking down she saw that she was completely nude; her tank top, pants, underclothing, shoes, were all gone. Shock caused her to gasp aloud. Mortified by her nakedness, she attempted to cross her arms over her body before being stopped by a commanding "NO!"

Wanting to disobey but too frightened she meekly stood there exposed to his emotionless gaze. For what seemed like hours she stood still, knowing without being told that this is what was expected of her. His gaze licked over her vulnerable flesh. Without touching, he _touched_ her. Without breathing, he _breathed_ for her. There was not one piece of her that he did not see. No longer was there one piece of herself that she wanted to hide.

It always began as such for them-he pursued, she retreated. He conquered, she yielded.

It was as if they were the only creatures in the world.

The energy between them halted when as if from faraway, yet disturbingly close, she heard _them_. Small moans of hunger and salacious desire rippled throughout the room. Wildly looking around her she saw hundreds of pairs of glowing, yellow eyes all avidly staring at her.

Despair crashed. Desire broke.

Instead of fleeing to safety, she ran right into a den of vampires. Bitter tears clogged her throat and madness filled her brain. Crumbling to the floor she curled up into a protective ball. The raging noise of the damned filled her with ugly dread. She was trapped. She was going to die. In her heart she knew it to be true.

Then she heard him come for her. Each click of his boots as he descended from the dais pierced her eardrums. As the pound of his footfalls echoed throughout the hall the greedy, writhing forms suddenly became silent. Recoiling in fear they hugged the walls, each hoping that he wouldn't call for them.

Finally he stopped right in front of her. Without words he commanded her to look at him. Tentatively raising her head, her agonized eyes looked into his intensely cruel gaze. "Angel..."

Fury flared up in his eyes before sliding away to be hidden with his thoughts. "Get up Slayer," Angelus harshly barked.

Scrambling up to her feet Buffy mentally berated herself for calling him Angel. How many times had she underwent the harsh punishments of his ire for such an infraction?

Angelus coldly said, "When will you learn how to address your master? Do you think I am anything like Angel? Do I act like Angel? Do I fuck you like Angel did?"

"No," she sadly whispered.

"Then understand this: I own you. I am all you have Buffy, all you ever will have. You are mine to keep, mine to destroy."

"I'm sorry. Please..." Anguish made her voice sound raw. "Why do you hate me? Why do you always hurt me?"

Gripping her by the back of the neck he painfully squeezed until she cried out. Leaning forward until his lips were pressed against her temple Angelus emotionlessly answered, "Because it pleases me. That's the only reason I'll ever need."

Cries of delight resounded throughout, cries of the damned delighting in a mortal's suffering. Whimpering in fear Buffy began to futilely struggle against his hold. Great wrenching sobs caused her small frame to shudder as the hopelessness of her situation hit her.

This was why she had no power, why she couldn't defend herself against the undead. It was because of Angelus and her twisted love for him. Her love had made her as weak as any normal human being.

Instead of gloating over her fear, Angelus wrapped his arms around her body and murmured "Sshh, sshh my darling little girl. Why do you fear this? Why do you fear me? You want to be possessed, you want to be mine. Your love for me is far greater than it ever was for Angel. Why fight it? Give in, give in..."

Like a hypnotic melody Angelus' words were echoed by numerous voices. "Give in, give in, give in..." The seductive promise in his words stilled her sobbing. Dragging in great gulps of air Buffy closed her mind to fear, doubt, to all rational thought, and just made her body feel. Like the trickle of a stream that leads to the endless expanse of the ocean, so Buffy's body slowly awakened to the expanse of her desire for Angelus.

The entire hall sensed her arousal. The vampires raised their chant to a higher pitch, chanting even faster than before. Angelus suddenly picked Buffy up in his strong arms, and carried her up to the dais. Languorously laying in his embrace she dimly realized that he was completely naked, whereas he had been clothed completely in black just a few seconds before.

He carefully laid her on a crimson velvet-covered altar that appeared where his throne had been. Her heavy-lidded gaze ran appreciatively over his smooth, pale body. She felt as if she could die just from looking at his impossibly wide shoulders, sleekly muscled chest, and narrow waist. It was when her gaze traveled lower that her insides melted. Black, curly hair surrounded his long, thick, jutting penis; a penis that gave her pleasure so intense that she died a little each time when they came together.

The only sign Angelus gave that he noticed her lengthy perusal was the arrogant light in his eyes. Slowly he climbed onto the altar, until all she could see was him. Covering her small body with his large one he stared down into her eyes for an indeterminable time.

It could have been seconds, minutes, hours, days, even years but all Buffy felt was the desire to fall into his gaze, never to leave his sight. To always be one with him.

And still the demons chanted for her to give in to their lord and master.

Her lord and master.

"Please..." she implored once again.

In answer he took her mouth in a brutal, possessive kiss. It was so fierce that she felt her tender lip split from his assault. This only heightened their passions. Hungrily he licked her bruised and bleeding mouth as she panted for the exquisite pleasure and pain. Her body undulated restlessly beneath him, needing him so badly.

Angelus worked his way down her body nipping and biting her sensitive breasts, belly, and thighs until he settled between her eagerly spread legs. For several moments he gazed at her pink, pouty flesh. Buffy was beyond shame, she warmed under his enraptured gaze. Though expecting his most intimate kiss, she still cried out from the sheer ecstasy of having his cool tongue invade her core.

Buffy's hands restlessly roamed her body as her vampire lord greedily drank from her. His lips repeatedly closed over her clit before pulling away to press hot, heated kisses on her delicate flesh. Dimly she thought of what a decadent sight they made. The fallen being willingly ravished by the damned.

Angelus' long fingers penetrated her, working her into a frenzy as the feelings of his mouth, tongue, and fingers overcame her. Madly gripping her fingers in his dark hair, she arched her back as her orgasm crashed upon her body.

Howls of delight rose from the unholy observers, many of them by that point already paired off in their demonic couplings. The entire hall had become an orgy of hunger and lust.

Coming down from her little death, she looked upon the masses of moving flesh. Males and females, males with other males, females with males and other females all taking part of every perversion known to sex, yet all still looking at her and Angelus. The stares no longer filled her with fear and disgust. Instead she reveled in the unbridled dementia of the room. They were no longer her enemies; they had become her captive audience.

Softly kissing her nether lips Angelus' hands continued to stroke Buffy's damp flesh, bringing forth another cry of delight from her throat. Suddenly he raised himself up onto his knees and roughly flipped her unsuspecting body over. Forcibly pulling up her hips, he rubbed his erection against her, listening to her breathy pants, before slamming into her body.

"ANGELUS!" Buffy's body was caught in the throes of anguish and gratification. She felt helplessly pinned by his body. The burning pain of his invasion enhanced the burning desire she felt for him. Her body shook from the immense force of his thrusts. Great rasping moans tore from her throat as her demon pounded into her tender flesh.

Gripping the back of her head he forced her to look up at the countless acts of depravity that were taking place around them. "Look well Buffy, see what you have caused. You inspire that in them." Each word was punctuated by a thrust.

Fighting back the tears caused by the overwhelming sensations, Buffy thrust back against him. Humans weren't supposed to be like animals in lust, but oh God help her, she was an animal. She was just as animalistic with her lover as vampires were about feeding and fucking.

Pushing her head down to the altar, he continued to slap his hips into the rounded globes of her ass. "You have no power over us anymore Slayer because of THIS." His hand had reached around to cup her quivering flesh. "All that matters to you anymore is fucking-with me or anyone else."

Whimpering against his words she gasped, "That's not true! I love you!"

He raised her head up by the hair again. As he pulled her to him, she felt as if her back would break at any moment. He spoke in her ear with contempt dripping from each word. "Whore, you don't love me. You love this. You're such a fucking slut Buffy-"

"No! Angelus please-"

Slamming her head back down to the altar he spoke through clenched teeth. "Shut-up! I know it doesn't matter who fucks you as long as you get fucked." His all-consuming fury went through her and touched everything in the dark hall. All movement ceased and the evil horde watched enraptured as their lord unmercifully pounded into the Slayer. Her sobs of pain and unwilling pleasure clearly resounded throughout.

Bringing her body up again, he tightly wrapped his arms around her while continuing his unrelenting assault. Lowering his head to her neck, he bit her like a male animal bites his mate. Waves of white-hot pain and pleasure radiated throughout her body.

Closing her eyes she blindly reached above her and entwined her arms around Angelus' neck. Slamming his body in and out of her with vampiric strength and speed, Angelus' grunts of animal lust filled Buffy's mind and soul. The primeval rhythm of their mating rapidly took Buffy to the verge of orgasm.

Tirelessly they moved against each other until finally they both crashed into their mind-shattering orgasms. Their cries of rapture blended with the infernal orgasmic joy of the undead.

It was immoral perfection.

Buffy leaned into his beloved embrace never wanting to leave. He however, had other plans.

Abruptly throwing her off himself and the altar, Angelus coldly spat, "Such passion from such a faithless, weak creature. Let's see how much passion can be squeezed out of you before you get fucked to death. It's such an undeserving mercy for you, my beautiful whore. To die doing what you love-would that we were all so lucky."

Horror turning her insides to ice, Buffy looked up to see Angelus once again clothed and sitting on his throne. Wildly looking around her she saw several vampires slinking closer and closer to her.

Shamelessly gripping his leg she beseechingly looked into his impassive face. Finding no mercy in his soulless eyes she brokenly screamed "How can you do this to me?! Please Angelus, why are you doing this to me?!"

Leaning forward to grip her chin he growled, "Because I won't tolerate your unfaithfulness to me! Have I been your only one Buffy? Have I been the only to touch you? To feel you?"

Her mouth moved soundlessly, trying to summon up the lie, silently pleading for understanding. "Don't bother lying, I can see the truth in your eyes. You disgust me!" Pushing her violently down from the dais he unmovingly watched as several males greedily covered her flailing limbs with their bodies. "I'm sure you'll like these guys Buff. These are the ones I hold the most dishonor for, so I had to reward them for good service. Why not give them my most prized possession?" Watching her futilely struggle against them, a sadistic grin twisted his lips. "Don't think that I never cared for you, lover."

"Oh Buffy, say hello to my very good friend Cynthia before you die." A luscious brunette suddenly appeared from behind the throne clothed in shades of midnight. Her vivid dark beauty was unforgettable to Buffy. This person had caused countless of hours of pain and bitterness for her. She would never forget her. Never forget the moment when she saw both of them together...

Running his hand lightly down Cynthia's back Angelus smirked. "I'm sure you remember Cynthia, don't you Buff?" Lustfully gazing into her equally dark eyes he thickly murmured, "How can anyone forget such a delicious bit of beauty?"

Leaning down Cynthia captured his lips with her full, glossy red mouth. Greedily they devoured each other as Buffy helplessly looked on with betrayal and impotent fury. Catching her venomous glare Cynthia pulled back from Angelus with an evil smile on her flawless face. "I definitely remember you Buffy. We had third period together didn't we?" Maliciously grinning she purred, "Please be sure to know that I'll take much better care of Angelus than you ever could."

Indescribable torture wracked her body as the first of countless vampires ripped into her. Buffy mentally shut down as she thought of her ultimate failure: to fall in love with a demon, a thing from the deepest pits of hell. She had been right; she was going to die that night.

But she died from the desolation of _his_ deadly faithlessness.

The last thing she heard was Cynthia's bright, tinkling laughter and Angelus' cheerful request of "Oh lover, do me a favor. Tell Angel I said hi, and let him know that the world is a much worse place without him."

Shooting straight up in her bed Buffy wildly looked around to assure herself it had been just a nightmare. She saw nothing out of the ordinary. Everything must have been a dream, even Angelus finding her. Ruthlessly squashing a rush of disappointment, she took a deep sigh and shakily laid back down.

 _Funny, I don't remember coming to bed...just the shower..._

Her approaching calm was short-lived when she heard his silky voice float towards her from the living room space. Casually emerging from the darkness, he walked towards the bed. He stopped at the foot and leaned against a post. "What's wrong baby? Bad dreams? Why would such a pure girl like you ever have anything bad to dream about?"

Dropping his pose of studied ease he pinned her with a menacing stare. "Unless, oh I don't know, maybe you have something nagging your conscience. Something like guilt." Throwing a stack of letters and photos on the bed he gave her a few moments to stare at the pile before snapping her attention back to him.

"Don't bother lying. I can see the truth in your eyes." Buffy felt herself grow pale as she felt her nightmare come to life.

"What right to you have to be going through my things?"

Ignoring her he promised, "Darling, I'm going to make you hurt like I've never done before-and I'll LOVE every minute of it.

Threateningly making his way over to her, Buffy quickly jumped off the bed and landed on the other side. Her dream instantly took on prophetic reality. Did it also foretell her death?

Yeah, and all the resident demons of Hell would be making snow angels too. She let him do a lot of things to her, but death was not going to be one of them.

No fucking way.

Facing each other they both stood tensely, awaiting the other's move when all of a sudden a loud pounding sounded at the door. Their gazes locked onto each other in surprise. Buffy knew of only two people who would be out at this hour. _Oh God, please don't let them be out there. Make them go away, before anything bad happens._

It was enough that her friends and family suffered because of Angelus, she didn't want anyone else to. If there was a time for God to listen to her prayers now was the time.

Or would her prayers fall on deaf ears as they had every other time before?


	5. Chapter 5

"Buffy! Are you in there?" Viv's slightly drunken voice penetrated the door. "Clarisse locked me out again...damn bitch...can I crash here tonight?"

Buffy's gaze swung from the door back to Angelus. She didn't like the way that he looked. He seemed like a beast sniffing the air, unsure if Viv was harmless or a foe. Moving away from the bed, she walked to the door, warily keeping Angelus in sight.

Seeing his shirt she quickly donned it. Opening the door wide enough to stick her head out she saw Viv standing on unsteady legs. Seeing Buffy, Viv started to come in. Quickly Buffy said "Sorry Viv, but I can't tonight. I'm kinda busy."

Wrong choice of words as Buffy soon found out.

"Busy? Oh! Sorry, Buffy, I didn't mean to interupt. I can't believe you're finally-"

Hearing where Viv was going she nervously shouted "NO! I mean, it's not exactly what you think-"

"You don't have to explain anything to me, really. I'm just glad you finally gave Daniel a chance. Hey Danny! Way to go my man!" Viv dissolved into drunken giggles.

 _Oh great just what I need Angelus to hear_ she inwardly groaned.

Tightly Buffy replied "Viv, please, it's not-just let me call you tommorow. Now I really, really need for you to go." Viv was about to speak again when Buffy rushed on with "Hey I'll even break the door down for you and throw whatever guy is in there out so you can go to bed."

Not even realizing that Buffy was completely serious, Viv tossed her brown curls with a laugh. "As if you could! Hey not a problem. I'll find somewhere else to crash. Wait till I see Daniel, that dog! I'd never would have thought that you and he...I know he tried-"

The door suddenly opened further to reveal Angelus, dressed only in his pants. Amiably smiling at the shock that penetrated Viv's stupor, he smoothly said "I'm sorry but I'm the lucky man in her life now. Viv, that was your name wasn't it?" All Viv could do was nod, his physical effect on her being more apparent because of the alcohol.

Continuing he introduced himself. "My name is Angelus or Angel as my friends like to call me." Giving Viv a mesmerizing smile, he casually took her hand and lifted it to his well-shaped mouth. Leaning over her trembling hand he gave it a soft, gentle kiss. Raising up he looked deeply into her eyes and asked "You will be my friend, won't you Viv?"

Not giving Viv a chance to respond, Buffy roughly elbowed Angelus out of the way, breaking his hypnotic hold over Viv. Blinking her eyes Viv focused on Buffy once more. "Wow. Definitely not Daniel, not that that's a complaint. Um, damn what was I going to say? Oh yeah, I'll just crash at Julio's on the third floor. You haven't met him yet have you? You really need to meet this guy, I think the two of you would really hit it off."

A thread of steel laced Angelus' words as he asked "Viv? Are you trying to set up my girlfriend with another guy? That wouldn't be very nice of you, now would it?"

 _"Angel_ leave her alone. Now."

Confusedly looking between the two, Viv sensed dangerous undercurrents. They seemed more like on the verge of fight which just didn't make sense to Viv. If she had a guy like Angel (what a phat name for a guy!) she would be screwing his brains out.

Somehow she had stepped her foot in it, and as much as she would love to stand there and stare at Buffy's new guy, she sensed that it would be best for her to go. That and Buffy's next statement of "Viv, go to Julio's and I'll see you in the morning" convinced her it was time to bid adieu.

"Okay." Feeling the need to apologize, her green eyes flitted between Buffy and Angelus as she said, "And about Julio, I just meant that he's a really cool guy and I thought you might like to be friends with him or something."

Giving Angelus a hurried, nasty glare Buffy reached over and gave Viv a small hug. "I know Viv. It's okay, I promise." Pulling back she gave her a shooing motion and said, "Now will you just go before you pass out and hit your head! Get some sleep!"

With his arm around Buffy's tense shoulders, Angelus cheerfully said "I enjoyed meeting one of Buffy's friends. I do hope you'll give me the chance to get to know you _better_. You have to visit us one day...or night Viv."

Warming under his gaze she replied, "I will, maybe tomorrow. Nice to meet ya Angel." Sleepily grinning Viv leaned close to Buffy and warned in a loud whisper "You better keep him away from Clarisse or I bet money she'll try to snag him for herself." Turning around she started down the hall.

When she almost reached the end she stopped in front of one of the doors. Raising up a fist she hammered at the door. "Clarisse! You skank! Hurry the hell up!" She then continued down the hall, rounding the corner mumbling loudly to herself "Dammit I'm going to rip the lock out of that damn door one of these days."

Relieved that Viv was safely away from the volatile situation, Buffy closed and locked the door. Her nerves were strung so tight but she couldn't let Angelus see it.

"I really liked Viv. She's really cute. I think that I'd also like to meet Clarisse. She sounds like fun. You will introduce us, won't you Buff?"

Purposely ignoring him she walked to the pitiful hole in the wall that doubled for a closet. She rummaged in a laundry basket for some underwear and a pair of jeans. Leisurely putting them on she wondered what to say to Angelus. There was no way that he was going to leave the subject of Daniel alone.

Stepping out of the closet she saw him straddling a wooden chair, his arms folded over the top with his chin resting on them. To the casual observer he seemed completely relaxed but Buffy wasn't fooled.

Choosing to stand with her back against the wall she waited for him to make the first move. She didn't have to wait long.

"So Buff, who's Daniel to you? A boyfriend?"

"No, he's not my boyfriend. By that question you think that I've been sleeping with him?"

"I haven't even gotten there yet Buffy. What is he to you?"

Rigidly she repeated "He's not my boyfriend."

"Oh I think my friend Viv thinks otherwise. What was it she said, oh yes, I remember now. 'Way to go my man'!" Agilely jumping up from the chair, Angelus kicked it with so much force two of the legs broke. "Now if everything has been innocent between you two, why would she think that he was in here?"

Jumping back from the violence of his actions, Buffy knew that this was going to be just another one of his sadistic games. He had most likely read the letters from Daniel and drew his own conclusions. In his mind she was already convicted. Now he was toying with her, waiting for her to say the wrong thing. Even so, it didn't stop her from wanting to justify herself in his eyes. "Angelus...it's very complicated. Daniel, he's just a friend-"

Rudely cutting her off, he snarled "Pay attention Buffy! Once again, why would Viv think that you were with Daniel?"

Strain making her temper snap she sharply asked, "I don't know Angelus! Since you seem to have all the answers, why don't you tell me?"

"I'm asking the questions here Slayer, not you-"

Two years of bottled up anger exploded inside Buffy as she pushed away from the wall. "No! I'm going to say something and you're going to damn will listen! How dare you come into my life and judge me? What about you? What about all the other women that you were with when you were supposed to be with me? Druscilla? Cynthia? Those two names ring a bell? How about all the others that I never even knew about? Daniel isn't my lover or boyfriend and he never has been!" Recklessly she finished with "Even if I had been with him, what I've done these past two years is none of your business!"

"Like hell it's none of my business!" Closing the distance between them he angrily held her upper arms in a vice grip. Shaking her roughly he menacingly spat "Two years or twenty, it doesn't make a difference. You are mine! No one has the right to touch you except me! Do you understand me? DO YOU?"

Ripping away she shoved him from her. "What right do you have to claim me as yours? I belong to me, not to Daniel, you, or anyone else! I belong to me!"

Cruelly he taunted "You sure have changed your tune lover. Not even an hour ago you were beneath me panting while I fucked you. Begging me to take you. Now you belong to you? What a joke!"

With quiet dignity Buffy said "Yeah I guess it would be a joke to you, but it's not to me. If I had slept with someone else, it would've been the least you deserved!"

Crossing his arms over his chest he said in a chiding voice "All this righteous anger! I'm afraid I'm not buying it." His voice hardened. "You're not telling me the truth. Or is that too much to ask of you?"

Mirthlessly laughing she replied, "I obviously am incapable of telling the truth. What the fuck, Angelus, you've done nothing but treat me like a whore, what do you expect from one?"

Eyes narrowed in anger he bit out, "True, but there's one difference between you and any other whore-you're my whore. I own your will, your body, and your pathetic heart. You still love me, and that's the reason why you'll always be mine."

She wanted to deny it, but knew she couldn't. Hatefully they stared at each other for several minutes before she spoke in a barely audible voice. "I still love you, but I wish to God I didn't because ther's no one less deserving of it than you."

Scathingly Angelus questioned, "And Daniel is someone who deserves it right?" Stalking over to the bed he picked up a letter. Scanning it he mockingly read out loud "'Buffy I know you've been hurt in the past by some jerk but I swear to you that I would never hurt you.' How disgustingly sweet!"

Balling up the letter he threw it, hitting Buffy squarely in the chest. "It's amazing how you can say you love me and then what do I find? Love letters. You've been a busy girl these days, haven't you Slayer?"

Cringing from the scorn in his voice she struck back. "And what about you Angelus? How busy have you been? You know, with your insatiable appetites?"

Idly he answered "Never promised you fidelity Buff. Besides, the fact that I've spent the last two years looking for you should show that you're my favorite bitch."

Picking up a lamp, Buffy flung it with considerable might at his dark head. "Fuck you! You fucking arrogant sonofabitch! I'm not your bitch! Get the hell out of my life and stay the hell out of it!"

Barely dodging the lamp, Angelus snarled "Calm down lover. You're the one in trouble here so stop being so damn melodramatic!"

Taking a deep breath she stared at him in disbelief. "I'M THE ONE IN TROUBLE?! Don't you freakin' get it vamp? I already told you that I did not sleep with Daniel. You're the one who couldn't keep his prick in his pants! I really wish that I had made love with Daniel-"

His voice mirrored the shock on his face. "Made love with him? Is that what you would call it?"

"Yeah that's right! It would have been lovemaking with him. Something I would have been able to experience for the first time since...my first time."

"Buffy I'm warning you-"

"What _Angel_? More threats? Don't like the thought of me making love with someone else? Someone with a pulse?" Lowering her voice to a sensual purr she spoke while shamelessly running her hands over her body. Buffy could see Angelus' rage growing in leaps and bounds but she was past the point of no return.

"It would have felt soo good to be with someone who was alive, and all warm, and tanned-" Looking straight into his eyes she drove in with "-and not cold, pale, and dead."

"I may not like the thought of you with someone else, but I relish the thought of torturing this Daniel and making you watch." As much as he loathed that Angel got to her first, he could accept it. Afterall if it wasn't for that oh-so-fortunate escape clause in the gypsy curse, he himself would not be here now.

However, listening to Buffy talk about making love with the unseen Daniel stirred more than possessiveness in him. It also stirred up something that felt like pain. Pain?

 _Impossible. How can I feel this kind of pain? Unless I love-No!_ Angelus didn't allow his thoughts to go any further.

"Dream on lover. You'll never get within a mile of him." Walking into the kitchen Buffy opened the fridge and pulled out a soda. Opening it and taking a big gulp she appeared totally unconcerned that her lover? boyfriend? deranged ex-boyfriend? could at any moment turn on her and try to snap her neck.

Inwardly she was shaking.

Her nightmare showed her clearly how dangerous her love for him could be. Did he come back in to her life only to try to kill her a few hours later?

Turning back to him she observed that he was in the same spot, his head flung back as if in great pain. Unwillingly a twinge of sorrow passed over her at the thought of losing him once more. In her passion she had begged for him to stay, she accepted his possession and his threat of death, so great was her need for him.

Before tonight death had been an ever-present thought for her. She didn't actively seek it, but if she was to be faced with it Buffy had thought she wouldn't fight against it too hard.

But she now realized that she really didn't want to die.

If it came down to either him or her, he would go down. She would deliver the killing blow as the Slayer. In the process ridding the world of another vampire.

Also, in the process, destroy a part of herself. How could she continue with him? How would she continue without him if it came to that? Regardless of the outcome, they needed to settle things between them.

"Angelus?" Buffy softly called to him.

Looking at her Angelus felt the tremor within again. It _was_ pain. He never had felt such an emotion as this. Even when Buffy had left all he felt was rage and unfulfilled lust but not this pain. He had known he would find her and then things would be as they once were.

But the knowledge of Buffy thinking and wanting to make love to someone else-it had always been unthinkable before. If he had thought of Buffy with anyone else, it was always in the context of lust. Lust he understood. This he didn't. _Making love_. Not screwing, having sex, or just plain fucking, but making love.

Who would have thought he was so damn sensitive? He, who had witnessed and caused the destruction of many a mortal woman's heart. Never had he been so... _emotionally_ drawn in that what a woman felt for another affected him. Many of the women that he had seduced loved someone else. That was part of the challenge, it was what often drew him towards them.

Those few lucky enough to come out of his dalliance alive often went back to their true loves. What did he care once he was finished with them?

Disturbingly he found that he _did_ care about what Buffy felt for that worthless fuck named Daniel. What a horrid biblical name! Walking over to the threadbare couch, he settled himself comfortably. Pinning Buffy with a stare he coldly asked "So, do you love him?"

"Wh-what?"

"You heard me. Do you love him also?"

Even though she was thrown off it didn't even take a moment for her to answer. "No. I don't. That doesn't make me wish that I didn't."

Ignoring the relief that ran over him Angelus sardonically chuckled. "Poor Buffy. First Xander and now Daniel. You always seem to blow off the good guys and fall in love with the wrong ones."

Tensing at the persistent mocking tone in his voice she coldly anwered "No, I just fell in love with the wrong thing-a soulless demon from Hell. And if you don't leave I'll just have to send you back home."

"Nah, I don't think so babe. You and I belong together. Face it Buff, I'm the face you'll wake up to every day for the rest of your life." Knowing he was angering her he patted his lap and said, "So be a good little girl. Come here and give me a kiss."

Exasperated at his arrogance and disturbed by the thrill that leapt in her heart at his words, Buffy turned away. Going back to her hole-in-the-wall closet she slipped on a pair of shoes. Reaching for her jacket she put it on. Coming out she took a long look at him lounging on her couch.

Immediately she became filled with incredible sadness. Things would never change between them. Her naive notion of bringing love to a creature incapable of understanding it was pathetic to say the least. Hopefully he would just bow out, because if not, both of them might not make it out. He _had_ to get out of her life, it was the only way.

She had to remind herself of that, even if the thought of being without him hurt her so badly she doubted that she could ever recover.

"Look Angelus, do what you want, so long as it's not here."

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Out. When I get back, please, just don't be here." Turning away from his expression of fury she walked to the door. She never even heard him get off the couch before she was whirled around to face him and slammed against the door. She flinched from what she saw in his face.

It was more than cruelty. More than violence. More than hate. It was indescribable. It was something she had never seen in him before.

"Are you going to go cry on Daniel's shoulder, hmm Buffy? Are you going to sob out your heart over how your ex came in and raped you? That's what it must have been Buffy since you obviously can't stand the sight of me and want me out of you life!"

Buffy could feel her resolve splintering under his fury. "Why are you doing this?! Why won't you leave me alone? Isn't it enough that you broke me two years ago? Isn't it?"

"No it isn't enough!" Angelus felt so many emotions running through him that he couldn't focus on any one. Why? Did he want her truly broken him? Did he want to drive her mad like he did with Druscilla?

Yes and no. He wanted her mad, but mad for him. HE wanted to be the madness in her blood. He thought things were the same, she responded like he expected her to, the way she always had before. Now something was different. She seemed stronger, more immune to him.

Damn! How does someone fall asleep one way and then wake up completely different?

The misery in Buffy's voice would have broken anyone's heart. Except his, for he did not possess one. At least that was what he told himself.

"Angelus...I don't understand _this_...you. This isn't a relationship. I don't know how much longer we can survive with each other. We're not going to live happily ever after," her voice dropped to a brittle whisper "I was a fool to ever think otherwise."

"Living happily ever after is such an infantile notion Buff. Surely you have better fantasies than that."

Humiliation burned at the core of her heart at his callousness. Giving in to the devastion of her emotions, she slid down to the floor and cried. She nosily cried as she had not cried in years.

Staring at her, the newfound part of him stirred at the infinite sadness in her cry. He strangely felt the urge to comfort her, to wipe away the silver tears rolling down her face. Almost without thought, Angelus squatted in front of her and hesitatingly enveloped her in a hug. He felt her body jerk in surprise at the tenderness of the gesture.

Buffy could not believe he was just holding her, not huring her, not trying to have sex with her, but just holding her. He was always the source of her torment, he never tried to soothe her wounds, at least not without an ulterior motive. Part of her skeptically waited for his true intent to show, but the other part of her just wanted to accept it for what it seemed to be.

"Buffy..."

Leaning her wet cheek against his chest she shushed him with "No, don't talk. Just feel."

Strangely Angelus did feel. He felt that small part of him miraculously start to expand. To feel something other than just his own selfish desires. Is this what love was? Could it be?

Trailing the end of those thoughts he felt a great internal struggle. Love? Why would he ever want to be tainted by it? It was weakness. Love had and always would be the end of all things. To love this woman was to sign his own death warrant.

 _Didn't you already do that two years before? Aren't you a target for any hot-shit vamp who wants to score a couple of brownie-points for taking out the infamous Angelus?_ spoke a sly voice in his mind.

No, this was different.

Already he felt weaker, taking such strange joy in comforting her. In feeling her small, perfect body against his without the slightest hint of lust. That alone should tell him something was WAY wrong with this!

What in the hell was wrong with him? She had a thick stack of letters and photos from some kid that suspiciously looked alot like that brat Xander. Obviously she had been with that shit in some way more than what she was saying, or Viv wouldn't have thought that he was here with her.

And what was he doing? Here he was cradling her like a helpless babe when he should be tearing her ass up with his belt and then his cock. Weakness. That's what love was.

Look at how it made Buffy act. She was the Slayer for christsakes! She couldn't bring herself to kill him even though it was her sacred duty. No matter how badly he had treated her and undoubtedly would still treat her, she still came back for more. She couldn't bring herself to kill him even when she had the chance two years before, even though she obviously wanted to. Why?

Because she loved him.

No, he wasn't going to fall to that thing even more evil than a creature like himself.

Abruptly pulling away from her Angelus backhanded her viciously. Standing up he stared at her prone body. Coldly he stated "Oh you're good lover. Almost had me forgettting about dear old Daniel. I do have to give it you, all that talk about my, let's say-myriad dabblings of the flesh, was a good tactic. Surprisingly you put me on the defense. The kicker HAD to be when you cried. Very impressive. It even affected ME. I wouldn't have thought that could be done."

Flinging her hair back from her face, she stood up to face him. Wiping the blood that trickled down the corner of her mouth Buffy knew it had been too good to be true. "Tactic? Defense? Don't you have to have emotions to be put on the defense? To be affected by tears?" Buffy bitingly said.

Arching a brow he maliciously said "Oh but I do Buff. All kinds of great emotions like anger, lust, and possessiveness. And you want to know what? I'm kinda feelin' all three right now." Dragging her protesting body over to the bed, he asked "Now what do you think I should do about it _lover_?"

Struggling to get out of his grasp she said between clenched teeth, "Go to any of your sluts that I'm sure you've picked up since Cynthia and Druscilla. Unless you've brought them along too. Although Spike probably wouldn't like that, but for all I know maybe you two like each other that way. Anyways, I'm sure they would enjoy you more than I do!"

Darkly laughing he threw her on the rumpled bed before throwing himself on top of her. "Don't you know lying is a sin? I know for a fact that you don't want me to go to anyone else. You never did like it. And for your sake you better be glad that I'm going to ignore what you just said about Spike."

Correctly reading the look of pain that flashed in her eyes, Angelus poured more salt into the wound. "But that's right, you didn't know about Cyn until the end, did you? Don't you just love that name-Cyn and sin go so well together!"

Snaking an arm out from under him she attempted to deliver a right cross only to have him block it. Capturing her arm again he annoyingly asked "Did I touch a sore spot with you babe? What? No witty comeback?"

"How's this for a comeback: you're going to die if you don't get off me."

"You're about as pitifully off in your comebacks as you are in fighting me." Buffy's expressive eyes blazed with hatred and rage as she struggled against him and his cutting words.

"Oh that's good. I can feel your hate Buffy. I always did think that taking you in hate is as much fun as taking you when you're repulsively in love with me."

Inwardly flinching from his words she stared back into his eyes and evenly replied "You are so full of yourself, but what does it matter to me? Fucking you now would be as memorable as every other time: barely worth the memory. Get it over with _Angel_."

Clenching his jaw, Angelus felt the impact of her well-placed barbs. Gathering his turbulent emotions under control, he smiled at her with such an incredible sweetness. Seeing Buffy's unguarded reaction he knew that she was reminded of his other, weaker self.

The one she just called him out of spite.

That damnable soul-boy Angel.

It seemed like his Buffy was a slow learner: it was once again time to teach his little Slayer a lesson.

It was also time to learn something himself: there was no place for love in a demon's life. In _this_ demon's life. Love was just a sick, dirty affair that he needed no part of.

Not even for Buffy.


	6. Chapter 6

"Tell me Buffy, what do you see when you look at me?"

Running her pained eyes over his face, she saw Angel. She saw the face that she had loved with pure innocence. Everything was the same, the way he felt, the way he smelled, the way he looked.

Until she looked into his eyes. His eyes were the eyes of a killer. Remorseless. Even if he never said a word, as long as she could look into his eyes, she would know. He was Angelus, not Angel.

"I see you as you really are. I see a monster."

"Must you resort to name-calling?"

"If it fits demon."

Chuckling he rubbed his pelvis against her, delighting in the slight unwilling arch of her hips. "Oh you poor little girl. Didn't your mommy tell you that monsters don't exist?" Bringing his mouth towards her neck he lightly sucked and nibbled on the smooth column. Hearing the shallow gasps she tried to hold back, he continued to run his lips over her sensitive spots.

Tightly closing her eyes in a useless effort to close off her body to the sensations of his beautiful mouth, Buffy said "My mom also said that if I ever did see monsters to tell them to go away and then they'd vanish. Go away."

"Well it seems that your mommy lied to you twice. Monsters DO exist and they won't go away. Ever." His mouth moved up to swoop down on her lips, devouring her tender mouth.

Buffy tried to break away from his kiss, but it was in vain. Every time she moved her head, he quickly followed. Finally she bit down on his tongue-hard. With a hiss Angelus tore his mouth away from hers. Sitting up, with his thighs straddling her hips, he brought up a finger and gingerly touched his injured tongue. Dark eyes narrowed in fury, he yanked her up while simultaneously moving off of her.

Shaking her by the lapels of her jacket he promised "Bitch! I'll make you beg for that!" Snaking an arm around her waist, he trapped her arms between their bodies. With his other hand, Angelus held Buffy's head, his fingers deeply entangled in her hair.

Forced to look at him, Buffy could see the towering rage reflected in his eyes. As much as she hated to admit it to herself, she had responded to his kiss. Before she had become completely lost, she thought _What is wrong with you Buffy? He betrayed you. With other women. He's only using you. Again._ That was why she had deliberately provoked him by biting his tongue.

In a honeyed tongue she asked "What's the matter Angelus? Don't like getting bit? You like to dish it out but you can't take it huh?

"You tell me later on when I return the favor."

"What makes you thing you'll even get the chance?" Hardening her voice she warned "I'm not going to make it easy. If I were you, I wouldn't count on walking out of here."

In a condescending tone he asked "You think I want to kill you? No, my darling idiot, I don't want you dead. I never have. At least I haven't for a long time. If you were dead, what fun would I have?"

Bristling at his words she spat "I hate you Angelus!"

Giving her head a hard shake he dropped the false cheer and growled back "I hate you too." Voraciously he bit and kissed her neck. Running his tongue along her jaw he warned "If you bite my tongue again I'll make you bleed" before thrusting it into her mouth.

His kiss was brutal. Buffy felt as if she couldn't breathe. His arm was crushing her against his bare chest. She was totally entrapped. Even though Angelus' intent didn't include trying to kill her because of Daniel, it didn't mean she was out of danger. The greatest danger not necessarily being Angelus, but herself.

Even now exhiliaration was flooding her weak body.

Rapidly her logic faded to give into carnality.

For several minutes Angelus feasted on her sweet mouth. Slowly releasing her hair and her body, he warily waited for her to try to bolt from the bed. She just knelt there with her eyes closed and her breath coming out in a rapid outpouring. When she finally opened her eyes, he coldly smiled.

"Still hate me?" Jerking slightly from the frigidness of his question, she shook her head. "No?" Mirthlessly laughing he sardonically said "Why am I not surprised? If anything, you are predictable Slayer."

His arm shot out to yank her jacket off. Then he ripped his shirt off her body. She let out a muffled shriek when he pulled her across his lap and slipped her shoes off her feet and threw them across the room. Holding her down with his hand on the small of her back, he jerked her pants off.

Running his hand in a mockery of a caress up her legs, he stopped at the white cotton panties that flashed brightly against her tanned body. Slipping his hand under the elastic band he easily ripped them off her body. "Didn't I tell you to always wear silk or satin panties Buffy?" His hand came down fiercely across her bottom. "Didn't I tell you I never want to see you in anything else?" His hand rained down a torrent of blows that quickly turned her bottom a bright cherry-red color.

Sobbing she pressed down against his rock-hard thighs, trying to find an escape from the pain. This only caused her sensitive kernel of desire to be rubbed against him, throwing her body into a cauldron of burning pain and white-hot pleasure. She arched up to get off his lap only to have Angelus push her back down.

After several minutes of his unrelenting punishment Buffy was crying in great, heaving fits. It wasn't just from the physical torment but the humiliaton of being so totally subjugated.

Suddenly the blows stopped.

Angelus silently contemplated her shuddering form while he absently stroked her back with the tips of his fingers. In a deceptively soothing tone he asked "Will I ever see you in cotton again?" His large hand then grasped one blistering cheek, delighting in her moan of pain.

Docilely she answered "N-no."

"Good girl." He then massaged her bottom with a gentle stroke. Her body's movements of protest gradually eased as she gave into the soothing rhythm of his caress. Lowering his head he laid a wet, open-mouthed kiss on each of her abused cheeks.

Murmuring his name Buffy felt as if she had received an absolution from her lover. He had hurt her, but now he was going to make it better. He that giveth pain will taketh away.

Only if thy faith is strong enough.

Thoughts of how she had just committed blasphemy flitted through her head before being dismissed. She already was guilty of far more blasphemous acts than this. If the Lord needed to judge her, he had far more blacker deeds to convict her than her thoughts.

Gently turning her over, Angelus gathered her small form in his arms. Resting his chin on the top of her tousled hair he quietly said "Tell me what happened with Daniel. I want the truth." His voice hardened as he warned "If you lie to me it will go worse for you. Tell me."

Hoarsely she answered "Angelus I swear to you that I didn't sleep with him."

"I asked you to tell me what happened. I want to know everything. Don't make me ask again."

"He and I...we're just friends. Daniel cares alot about me, more than he should. One night he kissed me and I, well, kissed him back. We came close but I couldn't at the end."

"Did he see you naked?"

Swallowing against the fear of his reaction, she shakily said "Y-yes. He did." She waited to hear his explosion in vain. He only emotionlessly asked "What else?"

Warily Buffy asked "What do you mean?"

Impatience made his voice snappish. "Well did he go down on you? You know: lick you, eat you, perform cunnilingus?"

Staring at his chest she answered in a small voice "No. I...we didn't get that far. I mean...what I'm trying to say is...I didn't let him."

"But he wanted to?"

"Angelus please, I don't want to talk about it anymore."

Pleasantly he responded "Tough shit baby. I'm not finished asking you questions. You will answer each one, even if it takes the rest of your life. Now, why didn't you let him? I know how your body works Buff. Why wouldn't you let him do it?"

Moving her head from under his chin she looked into his frigid eyes. "Because he wasn't you. Because no matter how hard I tried to pretend that his touch was better than yours, it just wasn't." Bringing a hand up to touch his unyielding jaw, she achingly whispered "He just wasn't you."

Unwillingly touched by the sincerity of her words, Angelus reached up to envelope her small hand in his. "So then you threw him out?"

Clarifying she said "I asked him to leave."

"Which he did of course?"

"Of course."

"And he's been the only one you've been with?"

"You've been the only one that I've slept with Angelus."

Caustically he said "Ah but don't forget about good old Angel. And now Daniel. So let me get this straight: you kissed him, got naked with him in this bed, letting him see all that was mine, and then asked him to leave."

Cautiously Buffy silently nodded, her eyes never breaking contact with his.

"Well it hardly seems worth it lover. You betrayed me without at least getting a come out of it." A new thought took hold of him. "He didn't make you come, did he?" His hand tightened crushingly around hers.

Exasperation laced her words as she said "No! But what would you have preferred Angelus? Either way I'm fucked right? Whether I did or didn't, it really doesn't matter to you, because I'm just a big ho for trying to move on with my life!"

Ignoring the end of her statement he said "Yes Buffy, as you eloquently put it, either way you're fucked. But if someone else had made you come...at least you'd have that comfort of revenge against my sins." He released her hand and got off the bed, surprisingly putting Buffy gently down in the process.

Agitatedly he began to pace. His fury at the situation was unbearable but he felt as if he didn't know what to do with her. It was as if he couldn't maintain his ire towards her.

Was he losing his touch?

Running a hand through his hair he felt stumped. Damn he was turning into a pussy! Why couldn't he go over there and beat the shit out of her? Dammit! What in God-forsaken Hell was wrong with him? He was supposed to be learning a little something about how love was the anti-Christ to all that was evil in the world like himself.

FUCK!

 _Think Angelus think! Think of Buffy's naked body next to that punk's body! Think of that human running his warm hands all over her and think of how she must have liked it!_ Good, he could feel a stirring of anger at Buffy returning to his mind.

 _Look at her sitting on that bed. The same bed that you just fucked her in. The same bed that she almost fucked someone else in._ More anger pumped into his mind like a deadly venom.

 _You pitiful excuse for a vampire. Where's your control? She's probably laughing at you for being as wimpy as Angel. Look at you, pacing like a fool. Have you no sense? Buffy Summers has a new lap dog and his name is Angelus. Next time she has the urge to screw someone will you politely bow out and then afterwards ask her if she had a good time?_

That did it!

Angelus was completely re-immersed in his fury. Abruptly stopping in the midst of his pacing, he let his eyes run over Buffy's lush form. She was sitting with her back against the iron headboard, partially covered by a rumpled sheet with a tiny floral print. Her tousled blond hair lay on her shoulders. A few unruly locks partially covered a plump breast, allowing only the merest hint of dark nipple to peek through.

All in all, she made an alluring disheveled sight.

He had the urge, no the NEED to see the Slayer so thoroughly humiliated that she would never think to look at another man ever again. He yearned to see her writhe in the dark pain of ecstasy.

Silently he vowed he would break her this night.

"Come here Buffy" he solemnly commanded.

The determined gleam in his eyes did not bode well for her. Warily she inched her way from the headboard only to be stopped by a motion of his hand. His voice flowing over her like smooth silk, he said "No Buffy. I want you to crawl to me darling. On your pretty hands and knees." Seeing her hesitation he barked "Now!"

Her mind balked but Buffy's wretched sense of obedience at these particular matters had become too deeply ingrained to disobey. Swallowing the lump of shame lodged in her throat, she crept off the bed. Once she was on all fours she slowly crawled towards Angelus.

With each inch that she traveled she entered a state of complete awareness. She was aware of the chipped and scarred hardwood floor digging into her palms and knees. She was aware of the distant ticking of a clock. She was aware of the dull, rhythmic sound of water slowly dripping in the kitchen sink.

Most of all, she was aware of how degrading it was to crawl to her addiction.

For the love of her addiction.

Once she reached his bare feet she waited for his next command. How long would he make her wait? Would he immediately force her to his twisted desires? Or would he ignore her, for hours maybe, while she knelt at his feet like some prized pet? Would she be forced to endure the pride-stripping ignobility of feeling helpless, subject to his whim and all the while naked at his feet?

Oh but what feet he had. How unfair was the unholy force of nature that created such a creature that not only had such perfect dark beauty, but also had such perfect feet?

As if he had read her thoughts Angelus ordered "Kiss them." Willingly Buffy obliged, lowering her head to brush her lips over one foot and then the other. Fervently she kissed both feet, running her lips and tongue over his toes and up to his ankles.

Score: Angelus 1 Buffy 0.

His feet shifted slightly, silently enjoying her adulation. Buffy's obvious enthusiasm surprised him, but knowing firsthand her passionate nature, Angelus realized that she turned her task into one of erotic self-pleasure. It was time to turn things up another notch.

"Enough." When she didn't immediatley stop, he jerked his foot out in a quick kick, knocking her back to fall on her side. "When I tell you to do something lover I expect you to do it. Now follow me." Arrogantly not bothering to see if she would obey, Angelus walked towards the couch. When he turned around Buffy was right there, as he expected still on all fours.

Imperiously he ordered "Stay" and went over to his discarded coat. Picking it up he rifled his hand in one pocket. With an exclamation of triumph, Angelus dropped the coat to the floor and padded over to Buffy. His lips parted to reveal a wicked grin. "Remember these baby?"

Numbly Buffy recognized the golden objects in his hand. One of them was a pair of chains made of small gold links. In each link a flawless sapphire was set, resulting in hundreds of priceless stones. Angelus had it designed especially for her, or so he had told her. It was made to go around her waist, settling low on her hips, with the connecting chain going right between her legs.

Once put on it would rub and tease her unmercifully if there wasn't any slack on the chain. The length could be adjusted according to his whim, controlled by a hidden clasp. At times in the past he wickedly would have the chain hang low, knowing that Buffy would be forced to wear longer, more concealing clothes in order to keep others from seeing it.

Even though it looked incredibly delicate it was surprisingly strong. Not strong enough that she couldn't break it, but strong enough that their energetic couplings never did it any damage.

Buffy alternately loved and loathed it. She loathed what it stood for, but she loved that no matter where she was Angelus could touch her, if only through his gift.

After he had placed it on her, it never came off her body. There were times after a heated argument with Angelus that she would grip the chain in one hand, ready to yank if off but she never did. At least not until the night she found about Cynthia and all the others.

The second object dangling from his raised hand was also made out of gold. It was a wide collar consisting of dozens of ropes all tightly interlocked. In the center a large, also flawless, sapphire glittered in the half-light. Once fitted around her neck, the sturdy golden chain, the third object held in his hand, could be attached to the collar in essence making it a leash.

Albeit an extremely expensive leash, but a leash nonetheless.

"I see you haven't forgotten your presents. They looked so...decadent on you Buff." Musing out loud he studied the body chain. "You'll never believe what this cost me to have it repaired. Even though I thought I was getting cheated, I had to have it fixed."

Tersely she stated "Really you shouldn't have."

Grinning at her Angelus said "No, I couldn't let such a work of art remain destroyed. Afterall, I knew I would be running into you again and I know just how much you LOVED wearing this.

Walking back to her he snapped his fingers in the old gesture of 'Get up' and fastened the chain around her. Sadistically he left no slack in the chain at all. Every movement Buffy would make would soon have her aroused to an unbearbable pitch.

Stepping slightly away from her, his eyes lustlfully surveyed the erotic vision she made. The tininess of her waist became emphasized and the sight of the chain bisecting her lower lips brought a surge of lust to his already lust-filled body. His eyes bored into her pussy, the sight of the sapphires twinkling amidst her tawny curls was one that he had always enjoyed, and hadn't had the plesure of seeing for far too long.

Thickly he said "Oh yes, it was definitely worth it. I would pay ten times that amount just to see you like this." Watching a flush creep up her body from her growing desire and his intense words, Angelus fitted the collar around her slim neck and then attached the chain to it. Casually he said "Fortunately I got my money back-"

"How?" Buffy sharply asked.

Darkly laughing he answered "How else would I have gotten it back? I killed him." Let her be reminded that she belonged to evil. Besides she didn't need to know that the pervert liked to touch little boys...

Pain glazing her eyes Buffy felt a tension grip her. Immediately she felt sick. To know that the last human that touched this was murdered by him...

It wasn't because he felt cheated, he killed for the joy of it. Or he killed when he was reminded of things that he didn't want to think about. Buffy felt that at the time that the chain was repaired, it was most likely thoughts of her that caused Angelus to take his deadly anger out on someone else.

Seeing the sickness twisting her features in a grimace of disgust, Angelus cheerfully stated "Don't feel too bad for him Buff. He was already old and didn't suffer...too much."

"You disgust me! I hate you! I hate it when you touch me-"

In a flash his hand shot out and backhanded her. Jovially he chided "What did I tell you about lying lover?" Jerking the chain down, Buffy was back on all fours again.

Pleasantly continuing as if nothing untoward had happened he stated "Now I know it's been two years since your training but I trust you haven't forgotten everything." Strolling to the bathroom, with the leash in one hand and Buffy keeping pace next to his leg, he ordered "Draw a bath and make it hot."

Mentioning the jeweler didn't put his Slayer in the most receptive mood, but it once again proved to her that she loved a being of evil. There was going to be no illusions tonight to what he was and always would be. His temporary insanity with the thought of being in love with Buffy would vanish once he got on with her torments.

He would hurt her this night, not only physically but mentally and emotionally. He would strip away and and every barrier that she chose to put up. He would force her to bare her heart and soul to him. Then he would ruthlessly crush them and in the process, crush her.

In the end it was better for both of them this way.

Leaning against the doorjamb he silently observed Buffy prepare their bath. When she turned to him with a box of Mr. Bubbles in her hand, he nodded his head to her unspoken question. Once the tub was frothing with bubbles and filled to the correct level, Buffy turned back to him.

"Undress me."

"With my teeth?" she archly asked.

Crookedly smiling he said "Not this time. You may use your hands, but be quick about it." Taking the few steps between them she dropped down to her knees. Her nimble fingers rapidly had his pants unbuttoned. Reaching up slightly, she tugged his waist down and soon his erection popped free, lightly hitting her in the cheek.

Quickly looking up Buffy caught Angelus' amused look, which caused her to blush brightly. Dropping her gaze in embarrassment she pulled the pants down his legs until it was down to his ankles.

For a brief moment she rested her face against his cool, sinewy thigh. He was her enemy, he was a killer, he was a demon, he was everything she stood against.

He was also everything in the world to her that he wasn't supposed to be.

She loved him. Or maybe it was Angel that she loved and this was the closest she could get to him so she deluded herself into thinking that it was Angelus that she loved. Or maybe she loved both. If so, the lines had gotten blurred so long ago that she couldn't remember anymore.

All she did know was that her hatred and her love was a living thing unto itself. The love and burgeoning lust she had felt for Angel was nothing compared to what she felt for Angelus. Every part of her body responded to him in a way that was illogical, but powerful in its' insanity.

Rationally she knew that she shouldn't be playing these games with him, but she couldn't stop. While she hated feeling like an indistinguishable sex slave to him, she loved being possessed by him.

Besides, if things became too much she could always get out if it.

 _Sure you can Buffy_ an inner voice jeered at her. _Things became too much the first night you slept with Angelus. You were able to fool others for a time but you could never fool yourself. You will never get out of this because you DON'T want to get out of it._

Her reverie was broken by a rude jerk of the chain. Pulling her face away from him, she slid each pant-leg off when he lifted a foot up. Completely nude, Angelus climbed in and sank into the hot, bubbly water. Closing his eyes and laying his head back against the white tiles he would have sighed in bliss if he had the breath.

Without opening his eyes he ordered "Bathe me."

Reaching over for the soap, Buffy was stopped by the clamp of his hand on her wrist. "No I want you in here with me."

Carefully climbing into the tub, Buffy inhaled sharply because of the heat of the water. Angelus always like his water almost scalding, and even though she liked really hot water, it was too hot. Gingerly settling over him she sat on his lower abs.

Noticing her discomfort he insincerely apologized. "Sorry babe. I forget how delicate you humans are."

Falsely smiling she said "It's not a problem, really. At the most I'll have a few blisters, but it's nothing I can't handle. For a human that is."

Gathering the bar of soap she rolled it over and over in her hands until they were fully lathered. She first started with his chest, sensuously kneading the muscles and feeling every inch of his torso.

Her eys flitted shut as she caressed and massaged him. Because of the temperature of the bath, his skin had lost its' customary coolness and felt warm like a human's. She allowed herself to daydream and imagine what it would be like if Angelus wasn't a vampire but a human. If he were capable of kinder emotions, if he loved her like she loved him.

Unbeknownst to her, Angelus had been watching her for several moments. The feline look of pleasure had transformed to tremulous joy. What was she thinking? What would cause her to look so happy? His eyes lowered to watch her small hands. They had stopped their circular, kneading motions instead to alternately lay palm down on his chest and then palm up. It was as if she were feeling the warmth of his skin...

His eyes took on a flinty cast as he surmised what she was thinking about. Dipping his hand into the water, he flung a large amount of it at her face. She immediately reared back sputtering, her blue eyes narrowed with outrage. "Don't waste your time thinking about the impossible Buffy."

"How would you know about what I was thinking about?" she hotly asked. Seeing the mocking light in his eyes Buffy mutinously muttered, "Anyways, I wasn't thinking of you."

Sardonically chuckling he said "Oh really? Please enlighten me. What were you thinking about?"

Knowing she was caught she again muttered, this time saying, "None of your business." Grabbing the soap again she lathered her hands to wash his arms. Briskly she soaped one arm and then started soaping the other one. When her fingers encountered the chain in his hand, she visibly flinched from it.

Noting her reaction Angelus smiled. Reaching out with his other hand he began to caress her collar. His fingers played over the surface of the jewel. It was a priceless stone, beautiful and rare, but it paled significantly in comparison to the woman who wore it. He had always been a collector of beautiful things and Buffy Summers had to be the most exquisite thing he had ever owned.

He loved seeing her in jewels. He always had. Just remembering the time he had her draped in nothing but ropes and ropes of jewels made his eyelids droop sensually. Mentally he shook his head. There would be plenty of time later to play the devoted courtier who presents tokens of his affection to his lady fair, but right now this was more fun.

He loved being her tormentor!

Buffy felt more and more uncomfortable as the minutes dragged by. She felt so vulnerable sitting on him, naked except for the jewelry, bathing him like a hedonistic aristocrat of centuries past. Every movement she made in washing him caused her to be awash in longing. She could feel her flesh rub against his taut stomach and she could feel the chain dig into her own private jewel.

"Tell me again, why did you leave?"

Her hands stilled in the task of washing his neck and she stiffly drew up. "I thought I made it more than clear to you. I hated being so dependant on this-"

Impatiently breaking in Angelus said, "You hated being my slave, you hated being so weak, yeah I got the point." His eyes boring into hers he asked "Did you try to eradicate all things vampire, including myself, that night in Sunnydale solely because of the other playthings in my life?"

Buffy's vulnerablity was written all too clearly on her face. "Playthings? That's what they were? That's what I am?" She felt twisted with a sick fury. Valiantly gathering control of her turbulent emotions she forced herself to airily say, "I had had enough of you treating me like shit. It was time for me to start doing my job, you know, slaying?"

Idly running a hand around her breasts, he cupped and kneaded them, delighting in the feel of her nipples growing hard against his palm. Staring at her with hooded eyes he stated "But you like being treated like shit, lover. In fact I have never had the pleasure of dallying with a mortal who takes it so well like you do. Even though are not and will not be the only plaything I have, you are the best."

Tears gathered in her eyes at the truth in his words. She did like being treated like shit. Not on the surface level, but deep inside. Maybe it was because she came from a broken home, maybe it was because she was always expected to do the right thing, or maybe it was because she was the Slayer. Whatever it was, she desired and needed to be broken down and molded into whatever image Angelus wanted.

However, that didn't mean that she would happily tolerate him screwing around on her. For him to tell her to her face that he would always have _playthings_ stirred up blinding fury.

Drawing back her arm she slapped him in his smug face-hard.

"You want playthings? Fine. But I will not be one of them!"

Angelus immediately slapped her back, even harder than she had slapped him, causing the side of her head to crash against the wall. If she had been a normal human, it would have broken her neck. As it was, it would definitely leave a nasty bruise on her cheekbone.

Sitting forward abruptly, he caused the water to slosh out of the tub and onto the floor. Wrapping his hands around her neck, he squeezed with just enough pressure to make her feel light-headed.

"Listen to me and listen to me well: you are and ALWAYS will be my plaything. If I choose to come to you with some other woman's come all over my cock, not only will you fuck me, but you'll lick it off if I tell you to. Do you understand?!"

Clawing at his hands she bit out "NO! I deserve to have...a man who wants...just me...if not you then someone...else..."

Her words caused him to transform to his demonic visage. Growling he tightened his hold and dunked her under the water. Her legs and arms splashed helplessly before he brought her up again. Loosening his grip from around her neck, he shook her violently while he roared "YOU SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN AND I WILL KILL YOU! YOU WILL NEVER FUCK ANYONE ELSE! EVER!" Flinging her away from him, he watched dispassionately as she coughed and wheezed for breath.

Buffy leaned heavily against the side of the tub, desperately trying to draw in breath. The black spots dancing in her vision subsided and she was soon able to draw in enough oxygen to her tortured lungs. Her hair was plastered to her bruised face and she winced when she ran her fingers through her scalp to pull if off her cheek.

In a hoarse voice she dully said "Bastard. I pray for the night you turn your back on me. When you do I promise you'll be ash flying in the air."

"Nah, I don't think so lover. You can't kill me, remember? You love me too much." The demon visage left his features and transformed to looking human once again.

Dazedly focusing on him she said, "Unfortunately for me, you don't feel the same."

"Oh baby I would never kill you." Pausing he corrected "Unless you fucked someone other than me that is."

Gesturing to the vivid purple bruises on her neck that creeped up above the collar, she wheezed "So what the hell would you call this? Looks like attempted murder to me." Buffy broke into a hacking cough, grasping the side of the tub harder.

Lifting her to straddle him again, Angelus ran his hands tenderly over her back. Inching her forward until her neck was close to his mouth, he delictely kissed the abused flesh. "Don't you see how perfectly you belong to me? Don't you feel the passion between us? Why does it matter what I do elsewhere as long as we have this?"

Dragging in a shaky breath she whispered "It does matter to me. I shouldn't have to share even a jerk like you. If I can't play, why should you be able to?"

Lightly biting her abraded skin, he ignored her hiss of pain. "Because I can. YOU can't. It's as simple as that."

"So I'm just one of your whores, is that right?"

"Like I told you before, you're MY whore. How many I have is none of your concern." Moving his lips to her soft nipples he flicked his tongue around them a few times before they pebbled in his mouth. He soaked in her delightful cries of pleasure as he bit and licked her lush breasts.

"You have no right-"

Pressing his lips against her he broke in with "I have every right. I control things here, got it babe? As long as I come back to your bed, what I do out of it isn't up for debate. Understand?"

Losing herself in the magic of his mouth she gasped "Angelus, please...it's not right-" Buffy harshly cried out when she felt him ferociously bite both nipples. "Alright I understand!" He immediately licked and nuzzled them in reward.

Triumph gleaming brightly in his eyes he leaned back against the tiled wall. "Good girl. I don't want to hear anymore of you bitching about Cynthia or Druscilla or any other silly sluts."

Swallowing down the resentment and hurt she felt at his high-handedness, Buffy avoided looking into his eyes. Where the hell did her spirit go when it came to him? He just about choked the life from her and not only did she not even kill him for it, she just docilely agreed to be apart of his harem and not complain about it.

Score: Angelus 2 Buffy 0

Being an expert at human suffering Angelus could see the self-contempt rising within her. She was probably wondering how she could accept an animal such as himself controlling her life. He knew that rubbing her nose in the knowledge of his other women hurt her, but that _was_ the point.

He couldn't deny that he liked variety when it came to women, but that wasn't really why he screwed around. It was an issue of pride. He couldn't be seen as _tied down_ to any woman, much less the Slayer. He couldn't let her think that she had that strong of a hold on him.

The fact that he just told her in no uncertain terms that he still planned on seeing others hurt her considerably and he knew that. While a tiny, disgusting part of him balked at his cruelness, it wasn't strong enough to change his course.

Shifting his attention back to her, he saw her rising off of him. Grabbing the trailing end of ther leash, he stopped her from getting out of the tub. "Buffy, where do you think you're going? You've not finished with my bath."

With a bowed head and slumped shoulders she heavily sat back down. Just when she didn't think she could feel any worse heartbreak that what she felt before, it got worse.

Listlessly she grabbed the bar of soap and twisted her body to soap his long sinewy legs. Even the chain rubbing against her was not enough to raise her out of self-pity.

Pathetic. That's what she was.

A freakin' pathetic nutcase like the ones you saw on Springer. The guy treats the girl like a piece of trash and she stupidly feeds into it. The girl is so out of touch with what healthy relationships are supposed to be about that she can't see what is so wrong with her own situation.

She just yells back and forth with her jerk and at the end of the show makes all sorts of empty ultimatums but still goes back with him, feeling like she's keeping a prize.

What made her own life even worse was that she couldn't plead ignorance. Buffy knew that this relationship was detrimental to her self-esteem, but she couldn't stop. Hell, she left Sunnydale in the hopes of escape, but two years hadn't changed anything.

There wasn't a night that went by that she didn't hope, deep in her soul, for the chance to see him again. Even after all the shit that he put her through. When he walked through her door a few hours before, she didn't fight that hard against him. In fact it really couldn't be termed a fight, more like a struggle just to soothe her conscious.

And here she was, washing his feet like an houri in a harem. All her spurts of fire and independence were just that: spurts lacking real substance. Every encounter with him was a contest in which she lost another piece of her soul.

Finally meeting his eyes again, she asked "Do you want me to wash your hair?"

Idly playing with the chain he said "Yes, but make sure you keep the suds out of my eyes. You know how I hate for that to happen."

Jerk! Reminding her of another past incident of submission! If she had more fight in her she would purposely pour a whole bottle of shampoo in his cursed eyes and watch him howl with pain. Strangely, it seemed a little funny how shampoo could cause a two year old and a two-hundred forty-five year old vampire to act the same way.

Standing up she had to lean slightly towards him to reach the bottle of strawberry scented shampoo. When she did she felt Angelus give the slightest lick on her chain and the surrounding flesh. Looking down at him she stared at him in surprise. As badly as she was feeling, and still feeling, she was astonished that her body could feel anything at the moment.

Sitting bck down she set the bottle on the edge of the tub. Scooping her hands together she poured water over his hair until it was thoroughly wet. Flipping open the lid on the bottle, she poured a healthy drop into her palm and rubbed it into his hair. Massaging his scalp until his head was a froth of white lather, she listened to him purr in contentment.

Murmuring for him to close his eyes, she poured water over his head until all the lather was washed out. Then she finger-combed his hair until it was all pushed off his forehead. By this point the water had cooled down considerably, enough so that she began to shiver slightly.

Ignoring her shivering he commanded "Kiss me."

Staring into his eys all she could see was a tiny reflection of herself. That's how she felt: tiny and insignificant. If only there could be something more than just lust and possessiveness.

But there never would be. This was her reality, all she would ever have with him.

Leaning forward Buffy pressed her lips ever so softly upon his hard, unyielding mouth. Pulling back she was no change in his expression. Pressing her mouth against his once more, she traced his lips with the tip of her tongue until his mouth opened. Groaning slightly she gripped his wide shoulders tightly and began to rub her sensitive breasts against his chest.

All too quickly traitorous desire pounded fiercely through her body. She ached to have him touch her everywhere. She ached to have him soothe her pain. She needed to lose herself in their passion.

Yet he wouldn't touch her with his hands. He only played with the leash, the quiet clinking of the metal sliding through his fingers, audible reminders of what she was to him.

"Angelus...Angelus..." Desperately she kissed his strong jaw, his temple, his eyes, and his neck, always returning back to his mouth. The heated coursing of her need pounded her body without mercy. Every kiss she placed fanned her lust, every movement she made caused the chain to slide against the core of her desire.

Angelus could feel the frenzy that was overtaking Buffy's body. His coldness only seemed to inflame her. Her short nails dug into his shoulders, while she panted and mewled against his neck. When she bit down, he had to refrain from letting out a grunt of pleasure.

He could see that her passion was not just born out of sexual desire but also out of the desire to forget his words, to forget what she thought she meant to him. But demon that he was, he could not let Buffy forget.

Scooting a little further down his body, she began to rain kisses on his sleekly muscled chest. This caused his erection to be rubbed between her ass cheeks. Strongly sucking his nipples, Buffy began to bounce lightly against him. She delighted in feeling his shaft rub against the tiny, puckered hole of her anus. It had been so long since he introduced her to that wicked way of loving...

Not even waiting for Angelus to respond, Buffy slid down a lttle further and lifted her hips to impale herself on his cock. Just when his smooth, marble head pierced her his hands gripped her waist, stopping their joining. Writhing Buffy tried to force herself down on him but his grip was as hard as steel.

Making a tsking noise Angelus looked into her frustrated face. "No, not just yet baby. I want to hear three little words from you. If you don't say it-you don't get it."

Gasping she said "I love you."

Devilishly he grinned. "I'm afraid that's not right. I want to hear you say 'I'm your whore'."

Knowing she shouldn't be shocked at his cruelty, she still recoiled from his words. Shaking her head, she tried to ignore the feel of him inside her.

"Say it Buff. Say 'I'm-your-whore'." Angelus lifted her up and down only minutely, but enough that she began to pant with desire.

Her tattered pride bled with her words, but say them she did: "I'm...your...WHORE!" Her whisper ended with a shout when Angelus impaled her pussy on his cock. The pain in her heart grew along with her sexual desire as Angelus continued to torment her.

"That's right lover, MY whore. A whore with no rights..." Slam and thrust.

Twisting both of her nipples until she cried out form the raw pain, he grunted "You like being my little whore, Buff?"

Squeezing her eyes shut Buffy breathed "No, I hate it."

Jerking her leash down until their lips were mere incches apart, he growled "Liar. Admit it: you love being my whore, bitch, or whatever I choose to make you." Not giving her a chance to deny it, he captured her lips and began to devour her passion-bruised mouth.

Their hips frantically churned against each other as they both fell to their destructive passion. Buffy rode Angelus as furiously as Angelus pumped into Buffy. Their cries grew in intensity and the cold water splashed out of the tub to soak the floor but neither noticed.

They were both lost and damned by each other.

Angelus suddenly stood up and Buffy wrapped her arms and legs around his torso in order to cling to him. Expecting him to step out of the tub, she was surprised to feel her body slam against the cool tiles of the bathtub walls.

Moving his arms down, he hooked a leg on each forearm, leaving Buffy completely stretched open. Savagely he started to pound into her body, filling her with his special brand of pain and pleasure. With each slam of his hips, not only did his cock touch the mouth of her womb, but he dug the waist chain deeper against her.

Clutching the back of his head, she began to cry as the sensations became too intense. This only seemed to incite Angelus to double his efforts; he lifted and pulled her against him as if she were weightless.

In no time at all the pain outweighed the pleasure. "Angelus stop. You're hurting me." When he didn't respond, she began to beat at his shoulders. "Stop it damn you!"

His movements never even faltered. Relentlessly he sawed in and out of her relishing in her sobs of anguish. It was as if his momentary weakness with love had never been. He needn't worry about loving the Slayer, all he needed to worry about was screwing her.

Tired of hearing her whining, he pulled out of her and tossed her onto the floor. In a flash he was straddled on her face and prying her mouth open. He then shoved his cock into her warm mouth and thrust his hips back and forth. For several minutes he fucked her lovely mouth, delighting over the sounds of her gagging and muffled tears.

"You are nothing more than a fuck to me Slayer." Each word was punctuated by a thrust.

"You are just a toy, my fucktoy." More thrusting and gagging.

"You are just a pretty whore to me Buffy." Quick and uncontrolled thrusting.

"Just...a...fuck..." Angelus then shouted from the power of his climax, his hand on her jaw forcing Buffy to swallow all of his dead semen.

Getting off her, he leaned against the toilet and watched her curl into a ball. He could only guess at what she was exactly feeling, but he was sure that she felt like shit. Just as he planned.

Score: Angelus 3 Buffy 0.

Buffy's soft sobs echoed in the small bathroom. She felt so sick.

So dirty and used.

The sticky taste of his semen wouldn't go away, no matter how hard she swallowed. God, what did she ever do to deserve this? What perverted sense of humor did He have to allow her to fall in love with such a heartless creature?

It was so horrible to fel so degraded, to allow oneself to be so degraded. She had the strength to fight him back, so why didn't she?

She never wanted to have to look into his face again. She didn't want to see the malicious glee burning in his dark eyes. Without thinking, she got up to run out of there. Quickly she was brought up short by the painful yank on her bruised neck. Turning around she saw the golden glimmer he held up in his hand.

And she saw nothing but mocking pity in his eyes at her humiliation.

Something finally snapped in her. Immediately she fell upon him with powerful fists, connecting with his flesh with every blow. Several times she banged his head against the hard porcelain of the toilet, feeling satisfaction with each grunt of pain that he made.

Angelus didn't fight back for several moments allowing her to vent her anger, but finally he had enough. His first few blows made little impression on her, but after several hits to her midsection and one to her pubic bone Buffy bent over in excruciating agony.

"I didn't want to hurt you Buff-well I did, but not like that."

Between gasps for air she coldly said, "Funny...I don't believe you, but let me ask anyways: why did you?"

"Because you make it _so_ easy, lover." Pausing his light tone shifted to one of dark retribution. "Besides, I had to punish you."

"For what? Daniel?"

"No, that was for biting me. I've got a long list of grievances against you Slayer. Daniel, while being a big one, has to wait in line."

"I've never hated you as much as I do now." Buffy coldly stated between gasps of pain.

"I'm sure", Angelus blandly remarked.

Picking up her unresisting body, he held her securely against his chest. He knew when to torment and when to cease. It was now time to switch to another tactic.

"I don't love you Angelus. Not anymore."

Smugly smiling he thought _We'll just have to see about that my darling Slayer. We'll just have to see._ With that, he walked out of the bathroom and towards the couch, already anticipating what he would do to Buffy next.


	7. Chapter 7

Carefully Angelus laid Buffy down on the couch. Turning away from her, he quickly strode over to the bed, picked up a pillow, and yanked off a sheet. Coming back to her he wrapped her pliant body securely and then propped her up against the pillow.

Squatting in front of her, Angelus asked "Are you hungry?"

Buffy stared at him incredulously before rolling over to her side to face away from him. Undeterred he just moved to the other side of the couch and repeated his question. Exasperated she rolled on to her back to stare at the ceiling. Angelus just leaned over.

"Buffy, don't be childish. You need to eat."

"Why? So that I'll be up to strength so you can beat up on me again?"

Making a sound comparable to a heavy sigh, he moved away from the couch and went into the kitchen area. Opening the refridgerator he saw that it was pretty much empty except for a couple of sodas, a jug of water, and a head of lettuce. Rummaging through the cabinets he had slightly more luck.

Finding the can opener he opened up a can of vegetable soup, grimacing slightly at its' congealed appearance. "Buffy where's your pots and pans?"

Silence.

"Fine, I'll find them myself." He had to open a couple more cabinets before he found the dented piece of metal that passed for a soup pan. Dumping the soup into the pan, he set it on the tiny stove and...waited. _Damn I knew this cooking food business was harder than that!_

 _Okay how hard can this be? There's a button or switch that turns this thing on, where is it?_ Looking at the top of the stove he only saw a clock that was missing a hand. Looking below...he found it!

Proudly turning the knob he waited for the nauseous smell of cooking food. After several moments he did smell something nauseous, only it wasn't veggie soup.

Buffy's voice drifted towards him. Dryly she said "It's a gas stove Angelus. You need to light a match to turn it on."

Feeling a rare prickle of embarrassment he muttered "I knew that. I just couldn't find the matches." Once again looking at the top of the stove he saw a small box of matches. Quickly lighting one he brought the small flame close to the burner, when all of a sudden a large flame jumped up and burned his hand.

"SHIT!"

"Turn down the burner Einstein."

Clutching his hand he just glared in her direction only to see that she wasn't even looking over at him. Gripping the knob he turned it down only to have turned it off completely.

 _Goddamn this fucking pain-in-the-ass piece of shit stove!_

Clenching his jaw tightly Angelus impatiently lit another match and turned on the knob-gently. Bringing the match towards the burner, he turned his face away slightly, expecting for a ball of flame to rise up again. Instead he heard the hiss of flame catching on gas and felt...no pain.

Braving a cautionary glance at the stove he saw that it looked like what he assumed it was supposed to look like. Within a few minutes the smell of soup permeated the air. Picking up a bowl and spoon from the dish rack, Angelus proudly poured the soup and carried it over to the couch.

Sitting on the floor with his legs crossed Angelus softly spoke. "Here lover, I made it just for you."

Not bothering to look at him she just said "I don't want it."

Patiently talking to her as if she were a recalcitrant child he said "Buffy don't be stubborn. You need to eat. I'll even feed it to you."

Turning her head slightly she speared him with a frigid glare. "I don't want to eat." She then turned away from him again.

"I won't leave you alone until you eat it."

"Ha! Like that's any surprise! You won't leave me alone period, so why should I think that you'll leave me alone over the lousy soup?" Buffy had rolled over and sat up to face him again, the biting anger in her tone evident in her drawn and tight features.

Impatience started to gnaw at him, but he surpressed the urge to force the soup down her throat. Gently he cajoled "Please Buffy, eat the soup. How many times will you get to have me as your nursemaid? I suggest you take advantage of it while you still can."

"You're the reason I would need a nursemaid in the first place! I don't want you and I don't want your damned soup!"

"Goddamnit woman! I just went through all the trials of Hell to make this soup for you and you damned well better eat it!" Lifting up a spoonful he held it front of her mouth, silently waiting in this war of wills.

After several moments of tense silence, Buffy sullenly opened her mouth. Immediately the warm taste of soup slid down her throat, cleansing the taste of his semen. One spoonful became two, and then three as she slurped down each as quickly as he brought it up. She didn't even realize how hungry she was until now.

Neither of them spoke, both were just content to do their seperate tasks of feeding and eating. Within a few minutes Angelus lifted up the last spoonful of soup and waited for her to swallow before asking if she was thirsty. Shaking her head, Buffy sat back and laid her head down on the pillow.

Getting up he picked up the empty bowl and took it into the kitchen. Putting the bowl down into the sink, he looked over at Buffy. She looked so tiny and fragile. So broken.

 _What do you expect after the performance you just put her through?_ the annoying voice of his new-found conscience demanded.

Oh hell, what now? Was he supposed to feel guilty for screwing his woman like a whore? He's a fucking demon! It's what he does, it's what his purpose for being it supposed to be! Bringing pain and devestation to mankind, or womankind in his case, but pain and destruction nonetheless! He's not Angel, he's Angelus the demon vampire!

 _I'm EVIL. I may have certain passions like a human but I am not a human. I'm an evil demon who happens to have unexplainable attachment to a mortal, scratch that, a SLAYER, but I'm still evil._ Angelus internally seethed. He felt ridiculous to feel defensive over something that wasn't even as bad as some things he had done in the past to not only Buffy, but to hundreds of other women.

 _What is evil Angelus? Is it something that flinches away from the cross and seeks to destroy mankind? Is it something that practices satanic rituals on the sixth hour of the sixth day of the sixth month? Or is evil not a thing unto itself, but merely the absence of God? What defines evil? Your being or your action?_ the inner voice maddenly asked.

Angelus couldn't believe that he was actually having a conversation with himself. It just wasn't to be borne! _You can walk away, but can't walk away from me. I am apart of you now and always. I always have been. You just never let me in. But you KNEW that I was there, that's why you committed those atrocities when you walked the earth before. You tried to drown me out and you did..._

 _Then why the hell do I hear you know?_ he frustatedly asked back.

 _Look over to the couch Angelus. She's why you hear me._

Buffy? She opened up this Pandora's box within him? Why?

 _Because you love her you idiot. You always have. Separate and apart from Angel-_

 _Angel?! Soul-boy?! Is he behind this cursed sudden appearance of a conscience?_ Angelus' features took on a menacing cast at the thought of the previous occupant of his body and Buffy's heart.

 _You still don't get it do you?_

 _No I don't and I don't want to!_ Angelus firmly pushed the voice down until it was of no more substance that it had been before tonight. He didn't know if it was some weird trick of the cosmos or if he actually had a tiny conscience that he was just debating with, but whatever it was, he did not want to listen to it.

He had to focus on the present task at hand: breaking Buffy. He reduced her to feeling like a whore by stripping away her pride and dignity. Right now she hated both of them; him for doing it and herself for allowing it. He might have went too far tonight considering that she hadn't been conditioned for a couple of years.

Normally he would have made her come first before fucking her the way he did, but he hadn't really wanted to. That was a big error on his part; if he had made her come, she would have still been upset, but nowhere near as much as she was now.

A woman's orgasm: what an amazing thing. It made most women forgive almost anything. It usually made Buffy forgive him, even after he was the worst bastard to her.

Well, what was done was done. Now it was time to move to the next tactic: making love to her. He had to build up more than just her passion, he had to call forth the love she felt for him. He had to make what just happened seem more like a nightmare than reality to her.

He would kiss and caress her, for hours if he needed to, but he would make her body sing with joy tonight before he had to leave. He would have the words for her love for him spill from her lips.

It would be one of his most tender punishments yet. He would give her no pain, except maybe the pain of re-admitting her love.

When he was done, the idea of making love with Daniel would be all but a laughable memory to Buffy. So even though he told her Daniel would have to wait in line on his list, maybe this would be her punishment for betraying him.

Besides, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. She could have had sex with him, but she didn't because she loved HIM.

 _See how having some sort of conscience affects you in a good way? Already you have a more forgiving heart. You can't be all that evil._

Gritting his teeth he silently shouted _I HAVE NO HEART BECAUSE I AM DEAD. I STILL WALK BECAUSE I AM A DEMON! SO THAT MAKES ME EVIL!_ Would this infernal voice in his head ever just shut-up? He was starting to feel as crazy as Druscilla!

Determined to concentrate on the challenge of Buffy Summers he stalked over to the couch. Forcing himself to school his features into a pleasant mask, he sat back down on the floor. She didn't even acknowledge his presence.

Reaching a hand forward to stroke her hair, he stopped in mid-action when she firmly said "Don't touch me."

Drawing back his hand, he let it fall to his knee. Surprisingly he aquiesced. "Alright Buffy. You don't want me to touch you, I understand. Will you at least talk to me?"

She just kept her eyes closed. Her face was so still, it could have been carved out of stone. She felt numb inside. Numb to the core. She didn't want to hear Angelus or speak to him. She just wanted to lay in the emptiness of her soul.

Where nothing could touch her.

"Baby, talk to me. You know how persistent I can be, so you might as well give in."

The end of his statement reached the solitude of her mind. "Give in? Isn't that what I always do for you? Whether I give in or not, you'll still carry out whatever twisted plan you have for me. So just do it or leave me alone."

He winced at the dullness of her tone. "You know I won't do that. I CAN'T leave you alone. So don't even ask it of me."

Sitting up again Buffy looked at him with the sadness of her soul peering out of her eyes. "Why can't you? Is it because I'm the Slayer? Is it because you need to prove to the world how beneath you I am?"

Once again reaching a hand towards her head, Angelus hesitatingly placed it on her hair. When she didn't move her head away, he began to run his fingers through the tangled, blond locks. Awkwardly he said "I want and need you because you're you. I would want you regardless if you were the Slayer or just some normal girl."

Sadly Buffy replied "But I'm not some normal girl to be doing this, am I?"

"No, you're not, but you're MY girl. You always will be."

Jerking her head away Buffy angrily spat "Because you own me, because I'm just a pretty whore to you, just your fucktoy! Have you ever thought that maybe I'm tired of being your doormat?" Looking away from him she charged "You had NO right to do what you did to me!"

Staring at her profile for several moments he finally spoke. "I can't take back what happened Buffy." She turned and looked back at him, her face carefully blank of all emotions.

"Honestly I don't think that I would want to even if I could, but you do mean more to me than just a fucktoy."

Angelus then reached for her slim hand, squeezing it with firm pressure when she tried to pull away. Bringing it up to his mouth he kissed each fingertip reverently, all the while looking deeply into her eyes. "I do see you as my property, as my beautiful whore, my fucktoy, and perhaps my doormat at times, but I see you as so much more than that."

Running his tongue down her palm, he laid a heated open-mouthed kiss to the center of her hand. "I see you as the most exquisite creature I have ever seen. I see you as the light that balances my darkness. I see you as the missing half to my godless existence."

Unwillingly Buffy could feel the numbness within her crack at the solemness of his words. He looked so sincere, so truthful. Looking away from him, she clenched her eyes tightly as she felt the burning of her tears. No! NO! "It sounds good Angelus-but I'm not always as stupid as I act."

"Don't call yourself stupid!" he harshly barked.

"I shouldn't call myself stupid but I can call myself a whore. Geez, that makes so much more sense, why can't I get it? Must be because I'm STUPID!"

Angelus just stared at her in frustration before getting up and walking over to a window. Looking out he stood in silence for several minutes. When he saw a lone figure stumbling along the street he vaguely thought of feeding before dismissing it from his mind. He couldn't leave things the way they were tonight.

It occurred to him how stangely important it was for Buffy to feel her love for him again. How many times before had she dragged herself from his bed, emotionally and physically beaten, and with him not even lifting an eyebrow?

What the fuck had happened between them? Things were different now and as much as he hated it, he found that a small part of him liked it also. On a deeper level, he knew that there was a chance for something stronger between them-as long as he could reach her tonight.

 _Oh man you ARE getting as sappy as that freak Angel_ he disgutedly thought.

Without turning around he spoke. "Buffy I understand why you probably think I'm bullshitting you. Hell, if it was the other way around I would think you were bullshitting me. I'm not making any excuses for what I have done to you. Like I said before, I wouldn't change what I have done, but that doesn't mean that it always has to be like that."

"But Angelus, why does it even have to be this way?"

Wearily turning around he simply said "Because of what I am, Buff. Because of what I am. You of all people should know the nature of the demon."

"I can't continue like this. I can't keep letting you treat me this way."

"Buffy..."

She held up a hand to stop his flow of words and shook her head. "Stop it. I can't continue to lay down and let you strip away a piece of me each time. I never want to be treated like this again. As long as I let you do this to me, I will never be who I need to be."

Panic hit him at the finality in her voice. Regardless of how emotionally beaten down she was, Angelus could see that this time she really did mean it. He was not about to let her go without one helluva fight though. His method would just have to be more persuasive.

Rushing over to her side, he dropped to his knees and grabbed both of her hands. "Do you really want me to leave? Do you really want me to walk out that door and never come back?"

Buffy had never seen him look so out of control, so panicked. She almost would be willing to believe that she saw sincerity in his eyes...no. Angelus was right, she DID know the nature of the demon. Lying was what they did best.

That and seduce.

His voice sounded strained as he asked her again "Do you really want me to leave?"

"Did you hear nothing of what I just said?"

"I need you Buffy. I need you like I need blood to survive."

"Don't do this to me-"

"I've thought of nothing except you for two years-"

"Stop it!"

"I've craved nothing but YOU for two years."

"Shut up! I don't want to hear this from you!"

His voice dropped to a husky whisper "Did you know that I went insane when you left me? I couldn't believe that my darling girl was gone. I virtually tore Sunnydale apart looking for you. I didn't want to believe that you would leave what we had, that you would leave me to exist without you."

"Angelus you FUCKED other women. You FUCKED girls from my school. You lied to me. You made me believe that I was all you wanted, which obviously wasn't true. There was nothing left for me there."

His first instinct was to verbally rip into her with something along the lines of 'What do you expect Buff? You expect me to turn down free tail? You were the one stupid enough to believe me in the first place.' However he found it surprisingly easy to hold it all inside. He wouldn't believe that he loved her, but he accepted that he needed and wanted her with him...always.

He listened to the pain in her voice, but not with the intention of taunting her with it. He just wanted to make it go away. He wanted her to see him as the only one she could ever love and want.

When did things change for him? Why did they change for him? Was it because for the first time, he hadn't been the only one she could see? Was it because she had tender feelings for someone other than himself? Angelus only knew that he couldn't survive without her.

He would not survive without her.

Without the slightest hint of rancor, he could actually believe that he understood why Angel felt the way he did about Buffy. Perhaps it was because he felt it too.

 _Careful boy. Remember this is just a means to an end. Don't take your words too seriously._

He had a role to play if he wanted to keep the Slayer with him. However, he couldn't afford to get carried away with it.

"I've never needed anyone like I need you Buffy. I know you can't and won't understand the reasons why I did what I did, but all I can say is that I want you next to me."

He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again, they shined with a feral animalistic glow. Buffy felt a shudder run down her spine as his eyes compelled her to answer with her own mindless, animalistic nature. She was held spellbound when he throatily growled "I want to be able to see you, hear you, smell you _always_."

Angelus could see the unwilling yet almost imperceptable sofening occuring within Buffy at his words. Then he let the bomb drop. "If you tell me to walk out of you life tonight...I'll walk out into the sun tomorrow morning."

There. He said it. He pulled out the heavy artillery. It was a calculated risk, but he knew Buffy still loved him enough that she wouldn't want that to happen. If she did tell him to greet his first and last sunrise with her blessings, at this point he couldn't honestly say that he might not just do it.

 _Goddamnit Angelus! Focus and quit all your foolish sentiments!_ his demon instincts reminded him.

"You wouldn't do it. You're having too much fun destroying humanity to just chuck it all away..." Buffy's flippant voice died away as she looked at his determined and deathly still face. Whatever she saw in his face shook her conviction. "Tell me you're kidding. Tell me Angelus."

Angelus just silently stared at her.

 _"Tell me."_

He ignored her demand. Intensity shook from each word as he asked once again "Do you really want me to leave?"

"I can't answer that, not with you casually talking about your death." Buffy began to tug to free her hands.

"All it takes is a simple answer Buffy. Perhaps the simplest one you'll ever have to say. Yes or no?"

"I can't answer you Angelus-"

"Yes or no Buff?"

Unsuccessfully trying to pull her hands away from his grip she shouted "YES! NO!" Shaking her head she softly wailed "I don't know. I just don't know."

Hearing the obvious hesitation in Buffy's voice he turned her hands over and kissed the delicate flesh of her wrists. He could hear her pulse accelerate at his touch. Good. Now he only had to play on her uncertainty.

"Do you never want to feel my touch again?" He ran his tongue up her arm and then suckled the inside of her elbow. "Here?" Angelus moved his mouth sensuously up to the top of her shoulder. "Or here?"

Every part of her arm tingled. Each kiss was a brand. A brand on her body and heart. When he was so tender like this, she could almost believe that he felt more than lust and possessiveness for her. She wanted to be with him so badly.

But the humiliation was too raw, the wound too fresh.

However his mouth felt so nice.

It would be so easy to turn to him again. It always had been. That was her downfall. She softly moaned when his mouth kissed and nibbled her earlobe, flicking his tongue inside her ear, before trailing down to her nape.

"All it takes is a word. One word."

"Don't ask it of me Angelus."

"Yes. No. One or the other." His hands ran down her back, encountering the almost forgotten leash. Pulling back from her, his fingers unhooked the leash and then removed her collar, putting them down on the couch next to her.

The flesh of her neck looked abraided; there were scratches from where the collar dug into her skin when he jerked it too hard and when he strangled her. The bruises from his fingers had faded due to her healing abilities but were still apparent.

Enveloping her in his arms he nuzzled her abused neck. He had to control his rages in the future. He didn't want to come close to killing her again. He never wanted to see his handprints on her neck again.

Unless it was something she asked for, but that would be totally different.

Repeating her words he quietly demanded "Tell me."

Angelus would never do it. He had to be bluffing. But what if he wasn't? What if he was serious? But why would he even throw the threat out there? Not because of her, she didn't mean that much to him. Did she?

No, it had to be another one of his manipulations. It just had to be. But what if it wasn't? What if he's serious? Could she take the chance? Never. "I don't want you to die. I should, but God help me, I don't."

Good. Now all he had to do was coax her back into the bed and then she would be his again. Only this time he wasn't going to fuck it up by screwing her like a whore. He would save that for another time when she craved and wanted the humiliation.

"Buffy let me show you what else you mean to me. Let me take all the pain away. Give me the chance to feel alive, the way I only can when I'm in your arms" Angelus breathed in her ear.

His hypnotic words played on each of her vulnerabilities, addressed each private pain. She shuddered from his touch, for his touch. Buffy wanted so desperately to hold on to her hate, her desolation, but she so wanted to feel treasured by him even more.

Cupping her face Angelus flowed his dark poetry over her soul. "Will you let me take you from the darkness of my damnation? Will you let me glimpse a piece of your salvation?"

Buffy's eyes roamed his face, searching for the slightest shred of deceit. If she could find something, anything, she could resist him. Without it, she could deny him nothing. If only he tried to take from her she would be able to bring herself to fight him.

With him asking, she found herself wanting to give him everything.

If all his words were false, if his threat was false, it was the best approach he had ever taken with her. Angelus had never asked before, he only demanded. This was a new side to him. Perhaps it was a new game.

A game that she was once again going to join him in. Despite what he had done. Maybe BECAUSE of what he had done. "Can you make me forget Angelus?" she tremulously asked.

A relief that he didn't want to think about ran through his body. Still cupping her face, he brought his lips tenderly to hers and gave her the gentlest kiss she had ever experienced in her life. Drawing back he said "You may not forget, but I hope you will forgive."

Drawing his lips forward again he spoke when he just a hairsbreath away from her mouth. "I want to make love with you Buffy."

Her eyes widened. "M-make love?"

"Yes. I want you to show me how. I want you to be the first woman I make love with. The ONLY one I make love with." His mouth then closed over hers, kissing her with a gentle fury.

Buffy was hesitant to respond, but the sensations of having his lips pressed against hers and his tongue in her mouth soon had her kissing him back with as much quiet passion.

Angelus was still on his hands and knees when he reluctantly pulled back. Looking at her face he saw so much desperation and fear. He could see that she wanted to believe in him so much, but that she feared for him to turn on her once again. As she rightly should considering he always would before.

Hadn't he already showed that tonight?

Now was different though. He didn't want to shred her fragile trust. He didn't have the urge to trample on her heart and soul again. _At least not tonight_ he thought, instinctually fighting against the dangerous softening of his character.

Something stronger was definitely going to take place between them. He only cared because it was something that could and would be used in his favor against her later.

At least that was what he wanted to believe.

 _Be careful Angelus. Remember your strategy, this is all make-believe. A means to an end. Don't get too involved_ he silently warned himself.

 _Scared that you'll lose your empty, damned heart to her old boy? Let me let you in on something: it's too late!_ the wretched voice sounded in his head again.

 _I have to have a heart first. So there's no danger to me_ Angelus confidently reassured himself.

Picking up Buffy, he carried her to the spacious bed and carefully laid her down. Following her down, he laid next to her warm body. All the while her expressive blue eyes never left his face. Huskily he asked "What are you thinking?"

"You really want to know?"

"I asked didn't I?"

"I'm just trying to figure out this new sudden change. One minute you're ranting about how you're going to give me all the punishments of Hell, and you do, kind of-"

Arching a thick brow he asked "Kind of?"

"Come on lover, you know you've done worse to me before." Angelus nodded his head in agreement, so Buffy continued. "As much as our last sexual encounter wiped out the really great sex we had before that, you've done worse and cared even less. So what's with this sensitive side?"

"I wouldn't exactly call this sensitive, but all I can say is that even a vampire can change his..."

"Fangs?" she sweetly asked.

"Ha ha. I don't want you to leave. This is my way of showing it to you."

Cynically she answered "I'm just waiting for the mask to drop."

"The mask?"

Humorlessly smiling she clarified "The mask that you always wear to get me to do what you want. I guess I'm just waiting for this tenderness to go away."

Laying his cool hand on her stomach, he slowly rubbed back and forth, occasionally tugging on the chain encircling her hips. He watched in fascination as the pulse on Buffy's neck grew rapid and the scent of her arousal permeated the air like the sweet perfume that it was.

"Maybe it will Buff. Later. But now, I'm in the mood for a lesson. Think you can teach me?"

In response she drew his dark head down and hesitatingly kissed his firm mouth. Her tongue traced the outline of his lips before shyly delving into his mouth. Their tongues flickered against each other; their smoldering passion sparked ablaze.

His hand continued to rub her flat stomach in large, lazy circles. Her hand played with the back of his head, running her fingers through his soft, silky dark hair. Pulling back from their kiss Buffy gave an embarassed smile.

Tracing her jaw with his fingertips Angelus smiled in return. "What?"

Lowering her eyes she apologized. "I'm sorry, it's just that I feel kind of weird doing this."

Amusement softening his face he asked "Why baby?"

"Well I really don't know how."

Drolly Angelus said "Buffy I hate to break this to you, but we've been carnal countless times. You're hardly an inexperienced virgin."

Swatting him on the chest she laughingly said "You know what I mean!"

Teasing her further he said "No I don't. Please, explain it to me."

"Well I know we've done alot together, but never this. I mean it's all been pretty animal-like with both of us fucking just to fuck. It's just that I feel really nervous. The first and last time I made love was with Angel and you know how that turned out..."

The rare, teasing light immediately disappeared and was replaced by absolutely nothing. It was like he pulled down a shade over his eyes to conceal all his thoughts.

Instantly Buffy felt remorseful. "Angelus I didn't mean-"

Cutting her off he evenly stated "Don't apologize. You were just being honest. I know that if given a choice you would have Angel here instead of me. Can't say that I blame you." He turned his head away and stared at the wall.

Laying her hand on his chest she felt compelled to say "That's not completely true. When you treat me like shit and hurt me yeah I think 'Angel would never do this to me. Why did he have to leave me?' But I also know that I love not only Angel but Angelus as well."

Angelus looked back at Buffy. In a fleeting moment she caught a look of vulnerability flit across his face before it disappeared. It had appeared so briefly she was almost tempted to believe that she didn't see it, but she also know that she did not imagine it. This emboldened her to open up her feelings further.

"It sounds crazy and maybe it is, but I feel something for you that I never did for Angel. Something I know I never would. Even though you've put me through the most agonizing emotions that I never knew anyone could ever feel, you've also brought me..." she paused as she tried to put her feelings into words.

Angelus just watched her with an enigmatic look on his face.

Buffy let out a small sigh of impatience as she searched for the words. "You've opened up a new way to...feel things. You showed me how...delicious the agonies of the soul can be." Risking a glance at him, she let out a bewildered laugh. "God that sounds so crazy. I know it does, but I don't know how else to explain it."

Angelus studied her intently before arching a thoughtful brow. "Umm...I like that. Agonies of the soul...yes, I do like that. So you're saying that you like all that I do to you, the little bit of good and the majority bad, right?"

"Yes and no. I don't like it when you hurt me, but the thing is that I _feel_ so intensely. It's like before you, I felt things but never to this degree. As I said, I really don't know how to explain it." Leaning up she gave him a slow, langorous kiss. Drawing back she breathed "All I know is that however crazy it is, I love you Angelus."

Allowing himself a small, triumphant grin he soaked in her declaration of love. "I think you still owe me a lesson Slayer."

Impishly grinning she suggested "Since we're both new at this, why don't we learn together?" Slowly they brought their mouths together agian, pouring their passion into the heated melding of their lips and tongues.

Buffy then moved her mouth from his and licked and bit his neck, causing him to groan loudly. His hand caressed her shapely hip, repeatedly squeezing and releasing her flesh. She ran her tongue over his collar bones before going back to his neck.

As she kissed and licked his neck her hand ran over his muscular chest. Her fingers stopped at his nipple and she started rhythmically pinching and pulling until it hardened with pleasure.

Angelus slid his leg between hers as he mimicked her caress. His hand slid up to her breast where he delicately rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Buffy showed her pleasure by sensuously rubbing against his thigh. She moved her head down and scraped her teeth against both of his nipples. Angelus' head fell back. If this was how lovemaking started, he was already more than convinced it wasn't such a bad thing afterall.

Running her tongue back and forth over his nipples Buffy let her hand roam further down his chest. She ran her nails over his ribs which caused his body to jerk slightly. "Ticklish are we?" she throatily purred.

"Of course not. There's not a ticklish bone is this body."

"Really?" She scraped her nails over his side again. He jerked once more. "You ARE ticklish!" Buffy broke into peals of laughter. "Oh this is too rich! The most feared vampire, the 'Scourge of the Free World' is ticklish!" Devilishly she kept attacking him.

Her hapless victim kept trying to restrain his jerks but to no avail. Unwillingly Angelus felt laughter bubbling inside of him. "Stop it Buffy! Stop woman!" The humiliation! The indignity! As much as he tried to hold it in, a smothered laugh escaped him.

Pouncing on Angelus, Buffy sat on his stomach and then doubled her attack. She now had access to both sides of his ribs. "Come on, admit it! You're ticklish!"

"No..." a choked laugh,"...I'm..." another strangled gasp "...NOT!" Finally Angelus just let it all out. He laughed so loudly that Buffy was sure that Viv could probably hear it all the way at Julio's.

After several moments he gasped "Please...no more...I can't...take it..."

"Nah, I don't think so. I like hearing you say please. And I like hearing you laugh." It was true. This was the first time that she had ever heard him laugh like this. It wasn't his usual cruel, taunting laughter; it was free and natural.

She had never even heard Angel laugh like this. To think of it, he hardly ever laughed. To witness this side of Angelus was something she would never trade for.

"Enough...no more..." he gasped one last time. When she didn't relent, he gently grabbed her wrists and waited for the strange feelings to subside. He had never even knew that he was ticklish.

Looking at Buffy he had to acknowledge that she had never looked more beautiful than she did right now. Her face was aglow with happiness. Her eyes gleamed with mischief and joy. What was it she said? _I like hearing you laugh._ He felt another strange feeling enter him upon thinking over her words.

 _Focus you prick! Quit acting like a love-struck fool and get back to work!_ his ever-present demonic conscience ordered.

 _Fuck off_ he silently answered. There was no harm in enjoying himself with the Slayer right now. He knew what his priorties were, he didn't need to be reminded every moment of it.

Rubbing his thumbs over the soft skin of her wrists he playfully warned "Now that you know my weakness, don't go spreading the word. If it gets out, someone might get the bright idea to knock me down, tickle me, and then stake me. What an ignoble way for a creature like myself to die."

Buffy's smile faded and the joy in face dimmed. He could have slit his own throat for causing the light in her to go out. Before he could ask her what was wrong, she vowed "No one will ever be able to get the chance to kill you. They would have to kill me first."

Angelus felt as if he had been blessed with a rare gift. Her pledge to him, freely given, made him feel...it was indescribable. She swore to give her life for him, who would have ever thought?

All of a sudden the thought of her lifeless body flashed in his mind. Just the image of it caused him a strange gut-wrenching pain.

How far he had come when it came to this mortal, and not just including tonight. It seemed so long ago that he had planned so many ways for her to die. Now, he knew that he would seek his own death if she were taken from him.

 _But it doesn't mean that I love her._

Wanting to shrug off his newfound, uncomfortable feelings he cockily said "I don't think that will be necessary lover. It's not like anyone could really take me out anyways. Besides if you were to get yourself unnecessarily killed, who would I torment?"

Feeling slightly stung, Buffy jauntily said "On second thought I think you're right. Why waste the effort on saving you? Sensuously she slid her heated core against his hard abdominals. "Although...it would be hard to replace you-but not impossible."

Fiercely growling Angelus flipped Buffy over onto her back and held both of her slender wrists in one of his hands. "Lover I don't think talk like that will endear yourself to me." Dipping his head down Angelus softly warned "You don't want me to forget all about the lesson, do you?"

Buffy warned back just as softly "No Angelus, I don't think that you want ME to forget all about the lesson. You see if I do, I'll just have to remember you shoving your cock down my throat and that won't endear you to me at all. Then I'll just have to remember all the reasons why we go against all the laws of nature and then I'll just have to do something about it."

A small smile twisted his lips. Amazingly the Slayer regained her spunkiness; she seemed to forget the weak and pitiful display she made not even an hour before. As far as threats went, Angelus didn't put much faith in this one, but he would allow his little darling this. "Well, I definitely wouldn't want that to happen. Why don't we call this a draw and start over. Deal?"

Buffy stared at the ceiling, seemingly pondering his proposal. Giving a heavy sigh she looked back at him. "Deal." Drawing her leg up, she rubbed her soft thigh against his hard hip and wiggled quite impatiently. "Now can we close the deal?"

Chuckling Angelus graciously accepted. "I thought you'd never ask. Now if I do anything wrong you will let me know, won't you?" Angling his hips he rubbed the large, smooth head of his engorged cock along her weeping flesh, causing them to both shudder with longing.

"Y-es, b-but you s-seem to be a n-natural."

Hungrily gazing down at his woman he murmured "I aim to please." Angelus trailed his hand down her body until his fingers encountered the soft, springy hair of her femininity. Buffy moaned and arched her body when he delved into the warm, wet flesh.

When he took his fingers away she let out a small cry of disappointment. Angelus shushed her and murmured "Don't worry baby. I won't be gone for long." He then let go of her wrists and turned her onto her belly.

Buffy hungrily felt the anticipation of their 'lesson' and unthinkingly writhed on the bed. Each movement against the soft sheets felt like a caress against the tips of her breasts, the flat of her stomach, and smooth flesh of her thighs.

She felt his fingers work the clasp to her chain and soon the metal loosened around her body. She breathed a small sigh of relief that the chain no longer confined her but instead became a teasing whipser of a caress.

Angelus then trailed his lips across Buffy's back and sensitive neck. Each kiss produced a mewl as all her sensations focused onto the piece of flesh that was receiving his beloved assault.

When he began to tenderly nip her golden skin, Buffy's body jolted with so much pleasure that she repeatedly arched her body. Because he was straddled over her, each time that she arched, her bottom came into direct contact with his erection which caused him to growl with sinful pleasure.

Angelus reached under her and cupped both breasts while he nibbled on her graceful neck. She was so hot that she almost felt scalding. When he pinched both of her rosy nipples, and bit down on her neck, Buffy cried out his name in a great, gasping heave.

He could smell the heavy scent of her arousal and it worked on him like a drug. Even in a room full of women, he could pick out her scent. It had haunted him every night, long before he had made her his own.

The memory of it almost drove him insane those first few weeks after his return. To know it: the smell and the taste, but not be able to touch the source was torture. To want to destroy the creature that carried it, but to want to taste the creature even more had been agony.

But now...to have the same creature moan his name was pure ecstasy.

The urge to primitively drive into her was so strong, but the need to taste her was stronger. Letting go of her breasts with a final pinch, Angelus trailed his mouth down the curve of her spine until he reached the small of her back. He then slid his hands under her hips and lifted her up until she was on her knees.

Angelus first bit one cheek and then the other, delighting in her sharp cry of pleasure and pain. He then soothed each bite with his lips and tongue, also delighting in her low moan of pleasure without the pain.

Running his tongue down the cleft between her rounded flesh, he briefly tasted the small, sweet puckered opening. When she crooned, he thought of their last passionate encounter in Sunnydale. If only that bitch Cynthia hadn't opened her goddamned mouth he wouldn't have lost two years with his lover!

Briefly wondering whatever happened to the bitch, Angelus quickly dismissed her from his mind. It wouldn't do for him to be thinking about another while he was making love to Buffy.

Still holding her with his hands against her lower stomach, Angelus took his fingers and spread the luscious lips of her pussy while simultaneously driving his tongue into her from behind.

Buffy's body was wracked with tremors. Her body felt so tight and achy, she wanted to come immediately yet she also wanted to prolong it for as long as possible. His mouth felt so good. His tongue probed and licked her while his fingers gently plucked and rubbed her clit.

When he started licking back and forth between her pussy and the hole of her anus, Buffy shrieked aloud. Gripping the bars of her headboard, Buffy started to rock her body against him.

Drawing his mouth away from her, Angelus replaced it with his hand. His fingers entered her body and twisted in and out while his other hand moved from her clit. They maddeningly trailed up and around her hip, slightly scratching her skin. When he touched the smooth skin of her rounded bottom, he lightly slapped both cheeks.

By this point Buffy was breathlessly babbling his name. Angelus' face was drawn and tight with his unfulfilled lust, but he couldn't help but drink in her arousal and desire. Bringing his hand to his penis, he coated two of his fingers with the liquid that oozed out of the slit. "Oh...Angelus...please..."

Gravely he asked "Yes lover?"

"Make me...come...now...I need to..."

Painfully smiling he promised "I'm going to make you come so good baby. Then I'm going to make you come again and again."

Her breath audibly hitching Buffy tensely awaited. When she felt his fingers slowly invade her back passage, she could have fainted from the exquisiteness. Angelus gently slid the tip of one finger and painstakingly worked her until she loosened enough to let his whole finger in.

When her body adjusted to that, he then carefully worked the tip of his second finger in until it too entered her body. All the while his other hand worked, by this point, four fingers in and out of her clinging female entrance.

In an incredibly short period of time, Buffy felt the telling tremors work their way through her body. She pushed her body back against both sets of fingers and her cries of pleasure grew increasingly louder. When the extent of her ecstasy became almost overwhelming, her body tightened and then broke as wave after wave enveloped her.

"Oh lover...Angelus!"

He could feel each movement of her clenching against his fingers and the sound of his name on her lips was the most beautiful music he had ever heard. His head was thrown back and his teeth tightly clenched as his lust wore down on his tight control.

Buffy let go of her death grip on the headboard as she came down from her orgasm and drew in little gasps of air. How was it possible that each time Angelus made her come, it was even better than the last one? As the intoxicating effects wore off, her body awoke to an even hotter desire.

The desire to make Angelus feel like he was dying only to be reborn again.

The desire to give him as much ecstasy as he gave her.

The desire to join their bodies and make love.

When she moved forward Buffy could feel his fingers slipping from her body, causing her to shudder delicately because of their loss. Turning around to sit on her heels, she encircled her arms around his lean waist and laid her cheek against his cool stomach and breathed him in deeply.

Pulling back she looked up and locked her smoky gaze with his feral one. His eyes were yellow and wild, yet she sensed that he was going to wait for her to make the first move. Wanting to erase the previous act of debasement, Buffy leaned up and captured his mouth with her own before breaking off the kiss and letting her mouth travel down along his body.

When she reached the jutting head of his enormous cock, Buffy unconsciously licked her suddenly dry lips. Slowly she moved her head forward until her wet lips met the tip of his penis. Quickly she flicked her tongue across the slit before enveloping him in her mouth.

Now it was Angelus' groans that filled the air as his darling Slayer bobbed her head up and down on his length. He resisted the urge to grip her hair and guide her head (or more like slam her head) on his cock. Instead he kept his fists clenched at his sides and let her set the pace.

And what a delightful pace it was! She alternated her strokes from slow and teasing to fast and hungry. Several times when she deep-throated him, he felt as if he could spill right then and there. When her small hand cupped his balls and her other hand dug into his ass, he thrust forward once before controlling himself.

Pulling back from him, she softly said "It's alright, I don't mind."

Since he wasn't a demon to be told twice, he thrust his hips into the steady rhythm of her mouth. Buffy's mouth was enough to drive him insane! She knew how hard, how fast, and how much to suck to bring him to the brink of orgasm before drawing back and starting over again.

Looking down he groaned out loud. Seeing his blond goddess' head working furiously up and down on his cock was enough to drive him over the edge, regardless of her teasing. Digging his fingers into her shoulders, he hoarsely groaned "Buffy...I'm going to..."

She gave no notice of hearing his warning, instead she redoubled her efforts. All too soon Angelus shouted as he came in Buffy's lovely mouth. She drank all of his dead seed and moaned softly with delight as she swallowed it down her throat.

Reaching down he thrust his hands under her arms and pulled her up to hungrily kiss her luscious mouth. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Buffy kissed him back with all the passion she could summon in her body.

Without breaking their kiss, Angelus brought her down beneath him on the bed. Buffy's hands restlessly roamed down his back only to entangle themselves in his hair.

Moving his mouth from hers he stared down into her wide, hazel gaze. "I want you so badly baby. I want to make love with you so much."

"Angelus yes. Make love to me. Now" Buffy gasped, her need for him so evident in her voice.

Nipping her neck, he moved her in position for his penetration and lifted her hips with one arm. The head of his already-rampant erection nudged her slick and swollen lips before slowly sliding inch by glorious inch inside her.

Both lovers audibly voiced their pleasure at joining. When Angelus slid all that he could he rested on his forearms, framing Buffy's flushed face between. Without thought he whispered in awe "You are so beautiful."

Smiling shyly in embarrassment, Buffy felt so happy. Angelus had never been this tender before. He never seemed to care enough. _Remember the times that he pretended before tonight_ she silently warned herself. _He showed his real side soon afterwards and not just verbally Buffy._

However, she wanted to believe him, she hoped that he wasn't pretending. He would just break her heart if he was. She wanted to accept this and if he was lying, at least she'd be able to remember this moment, right now, forever.

Turning her head to the side she ran her lips over his wrist and latched her mouth onto the inside of his arm. Angelus then bent his head and captured a pert nipple with his mouth while slowly thrusting into her.

Buffy released his arm and let her eyes drift shut as she experienced the full pleasure of the moment. She felt so hungry for him, she wanted the moment to last for eternity. She didn't want dawn to rise and night to melt, she wanted to stay in eternal darkness with her lover.

Her beloved Angelus.

Soon his thrusts became less controlled and more frenzied. Buffy felt so good, love-making with her felt so _good_. Each slide within her hot cavern felt like the most decadent caress. Angelus wanted to feel her lips, he wanted to taste the sweetness that was Buffy Summers.

Bringing her body up, he thrust his tongue into her willing mouth. Still his body pistoned in and out of hers, allowing him to swallow each of her cries. After several minutes of this, Angelus tore his mouth away from hers and sat back on his heels.

He then lifted her legs from around his waist and threw them on his shoulders. Lowering his head he held her hips and greedily nibbled and licked her wet pussy. Stabbing into her with his tongue, Angelus scraped his teeth against her throbbing clit.

"Lover, you taste _so_ good." Lick and nibble.

"I could do this forever...I love the way you smell."Nibble and lick.

"I want you to come on my mouth baby. I want you to come for me now." Angelus gently sucked her hard clit while bobbing his head up and down.

Buffy could feel the familiar tension gather and center where his beautiful mouth was. Madly twisting the sheets beneath her, she gave a hoarse cry and them climaxed endlessly. The indescribable ecstasy went on and on and all Buffy could do was sob brokenly.

Angelus moved their bodies so that they were in spoon fashion. "Ssh my beauty. Ssh..." He stroked her hair and kissed her neck as she cried. After several moments Buffy hiccuped and let out a watery laugh.

"I don't know why I did that. I mean it's so silly to cry after sex, I don't know what got into me."

Wickedly Angelus replied "I think it was my tongue."

Turning her head back to look at him Buffy playfully frowned. "I think it was more than your tongue and I wasn't meaning literally."

Bringing his head forward Angelus touched his mouth to hers and soon they were finding more to occupy their time than talking. Reaching around he cupped her breast with his hand while Buffy lifted her leg and placed it on his hip. With a hard thrust he fiercely entered her warmth and began a rapid tempo.

Buffy arched her body and covered his hand with her own. After a few moments of tweaking her nipple with him, she let her hand slide down her perspired covered body until she reached the juncture between her thighs. Her fingers unerringly slid past her swollen lips and touched the small, delicate nub.

As her dark lord's body hammered her's from behind she rubbed and plucked herself, desperately seeking release once more. She wanted to come with him inside her body, she wanted to be able to shudder and clench around him. She wanted to hear his deep growls as she did so.

Knowing what she was doing, Angelus slid his hand down and played with the chain around her waist while letting his words of encouragement flow into her mind. "Come again baby. You're so beautiful when you come."

Buffy focused on the intense pleasure of his body, her fingers, and his words. His words were the most powerful weapon he had and Buffy recognized that. When they wanted to tear her down, she crumpled like dust. But when they wanted to build her up, they took her to the greatest of heights.

"Angelus...it feels so good..."

"Ooh it does, doesn't it? Imagine how good it'll feel when you come...when you come all over my cock."

His sinful words were exactly what she needed to push her over the edge again. "Oh yes! Oh yes! Angelus!" Buffy screamed with her release, repeatedly clenching around him with all of her Slayer strength.

Just as she wanted to hear, Angelus growled fiercely with need as he felt her silken muscles close around him. Pulling out of her limp body, he covered her with himself as he settled on top of her.

Drinking in her little contented mewls with his lips, Angelus gently thrust inside her again. Buffy languidly linked her arms around his waist as he moved his body in and out of her. He rapidly slammed into her welcoming body faster and faster until she was again moaning loudly with each thrust.

Angleus felt as if he couldn't get in deep enough, he wanted every inch of himself inside Buffy. "Baby..wrap your legs...around me."

Obliging him, she wrapped her shaky legs around his lean waist. In this position he slid in further, and Buffy's breath hitched with the feeling of incredible fullness.

Angelus could feel his orgasm build, but he wanted more than just his own. He wanted Buffy to come one more time. He wanted her to come with him. "Come again lover...let me feel you again..."

Clenching her eyes shut, Buffy gasped "I don't think...I can..."

Seductively he whispered "Yes you can. Do it for me."

As if by magic,his words worked their dark sorcery on her body and she felt the achy, gnawing of her unfulfilled desire draw up once more. With each uncontrolled thrust, she was brought closer and closer.

Opening her eyes she looked at Angelus' face only to see the vampire form battling to get out. Seeing he had a strong urge for blood, Buffy trustingly offered her neck as she pumped her hips up and felt the first wave hit her body.

Smelling and feeling her orgasm, Angelus let his face transform when he saw Buffy offer the precious fluid of her neck. Emitting a roar his body spasmed as he sunk his fangs into his lover's slim neck.

When she felt the sharp white-hot prick of his fangs entering her neck, Buffy fell into orgasm once again. By this time, she was so weak from pleasure all she could do was softly moan her release and weakly clutch Angelus' broad back.

Feeling her delicious blood flow down his throat Angelus released her neck and gently licked the twin holes until they began to heal. He felt so overwhelmed from the sensations of their love-making and his feeding, at least that's what he told himself later, that he wasn't thinking when he spoke aloud his thoughts in Buffy's ear. "I love you."

She froze when she heard the three words that she longed to hear from him but thought she never would. Could she have heard him really say that?

Apparently she did because all of a sudden Angelus ripped himself off of her body and stared at her in horror. It could not be possible. He could NOT have said those words.

But it was all too true.

He had said the words he had vowed never to say to any woman. And not only did he say it, he said to the Slayer.

He had to get out of there. He could not, would not stay in the same room with a woman who would destroy him. With vampiric speed, he tore through the small studio searching for his clothes. Within one minute of speaking the words, he was dressed and all but out the door.

Buffy could not believe what was happening. One second they were making glorious love and the next he was acting like a madman! Seeing that he was leaving Buffy cried out "What's wrong? Why are you leaving?"

Stopping at the door he threw back his head and bitterly laughed. "What's wrong? She asks what's wrong!" Pinning her with a stare he succintly stated "Nothing _Slayer_. Absolutely nothing."

Feeling cold dread settle heavily in the pit of her stomach, she asked "Then why are leaving?"

Icily he said "We fucked. Now it's over. Dawn is going to be coming up in a couple of hours and it's time for me to go."

Tears blurred her vision, but she would not let them fall. "Fucked? I thought we were making love."

Nastily snickering he mocked Buffy with "Making love. Fucking. Screwing. Don't you know it's all the same thing Buff? Just another act where you spread your legs for me when and how I want."

Each damning word drove straight into her heart. Instinctually though, Buffy felt as if his words were more a show of forced cruelty than the truth. "You said that you loved me. I heard you."

His face became completely wiped of all expression. _Don't do this to her you bastard! Don't fuck up your one chance for happiness! Her one chance for happiness!_

The voice shouted this in his head over and over until Angelus screwed his eyes shut and bent double. Digging his palms into the side of his head he screamed "Shut-up! Shut-up DAMN YOU! It's not true! I don't need or love anyone!"

"Who are you talking to?" Buffy confusedly questioned. Angelus just ignored her and continued to shout.

He looked to be in so much pain. His heartless words forgotten for the moment, Buffy rushed over to Angelus. Her only thought was to help him. When she touched his shoulder, he quickly rounded on her with a wild look in his eyes. Buffy stepped back in wariness.

"I won't let you destroy me you bitch! Do you hear me? I won't let you do it!"

"Destroy you? I don't want to hurt you, I love you!"

Torn for a second, he looked at her with uncertainty before growing hateful again. "Love me? Do you think I give a flying fuck whether or not you love me? The only reason I did before was just so that I could screw you, but now I don't even think that you're worth that!"

Unwillingly a sob broke from Buffy as she stared at him.

Coldly looking at her lush, naked form he spitefully said "As lovely as it was, you bore me. So I think that I'll be needing this now." Angelus' hand shot out and yanked the priceless chain from her slender waist until it broke, causing several stones to clatter on the floor. "I'm sure my new lover would love to hear that it was especially designed for her, just like you did."

Abruptly stopping her muffled tears, Buffy proudly drew her wounded dignity around her like a cloak. Anger vibrating from every pore of her body, she ordered "Get out. Now. If you don't I _will_ stake you to the floor and let the sun burn your body into ash. It would be quite painful, as I'm sure you can imagine, so you better get the hell out Angelus."

Snorting he assured her "Not a problem Slayer." A thread of steel laced his words as he warned "If we ever meet again, we _will_ meet as enemies." Without giving her a chance to respond, he was out the door.

Numbly Buffy stared at the door for several moments before turning around and taking a few wobbly steps before collapsing to the floor. Pulling her knees up she laid her head against them while her body shook from the force of her silent sobs. How could things have gone so wrong?

Outside across the street on a rooftop, a lone figure stared at the tiny, naked blond girl rocking back and forth from her grief. Tearing his gaze away from her Angelus looked at the cold, silent moon.

Strangely he felt no elation, no sadistic pleasure at breaking the young woman's heart. Instead he felt a sickness spreading through every part of his body.

Closing his eyes tightly he turned his head away from the symbol of his existence and opened them to look through the factory windows of the studio. He saw Buffy slowly walk to the bed, that just minutes before, was the altar of the most moving sexual experience Angelus had ever experienced.

It was even more moving that what Angel had experienced with Buffy, he felt with certainty.

He watched her wrap herself in a blanket off the bed. He then saw her pick up a pillow and breath in deeply before flinging it across the room. Throwing herself across the bed, he saw her pummel the bed with her fists before rolling over and crying.

Angelus knew the cause for he himself held the glitering gold chain in his fist and could smell the sweet scent of Buffy Summers. Unlike her, he could not bear to fling the jewelry into the empty streets below.

Unable to tear his gaze away from the weeping figure, Angelus felt something wet trail down his face. When he lifted his hand to wipe the stranged moisture away, he saw that it came back wet.

With the blood of his tears.

Shaken by what he saw, Angelus turned away from his spurned lover. _You have no idea what you have just done boy. No idea at all_ the voice sadly whispered to him.

Softly he answered out loud "Perhaps I know more than you. Perhaps now I really do." Angelus then fled into the desolate night.

Meanwhile, Buffy lay curled on her side and unseeingly stared ahead of her. She felt as if her heart had literally shattered into a million pieces.

And Angelus had crushed each piece beneath his heel, so there was no hope of repair and healing for her.

Letting her mind drift back, she remembered when things first went so wrong for her. When she first imperceptibly fell under Angelus' cruel, dark spell. She thought about how she slowly lost her will, her strength, her very soul to an evil vampire. She hadn't always been so weak when it came to him, but even so, she had been ripe for his plucking.

It all started a few weeks after she and her beloved Angel had made love. A few weeks after she lost her virginity and he lost his soul...


	8. Chapter 8

_**Winter 1998**_

"Again!" The muffled sound of an object being hit resounded through the dimly lit library. Buffy and Giles were training, or at least attempting to from the Watcher's point of view. Sweat was running down the librarian's face but he didn't bother to wipe it off as he impatiently fixed his Slayer with a stern glare.

"Buffy where's your concentration? You're not even trying."

Pushing a few sweaty strands off her face, Buffy placed her hands on her hips and looked up at the ceiling. "Giles you tell me to hit, I hit. You tell me to kick, I kick. How can you say that I'm not trying?"

"For one, I've had to tell you more than once to, as you put it, hit and kick. You are completely lacking in focus." Pulling the protective gear off his hands and arms, Giles stated in exasperation, "With the way you're training, it won't be long before a fledging gets the upper hand-"

"Giles, I'm sorry but I don't see how I'm training any differently than before. I'm here for every session, right?"

"Yes, well-"

"I'm here on time for every session, right?"

"Yes, actually-"

"Then how can you say that I'm lacking in focus?"

Giles stood there, seemingly trying to find his words, when his leg suddenly shot out and swept her feet right from underneath her. Buffy hit the ground with a stunned "Oof!" Reaching down to help her up Giles seriously stated, "As you can hopefully now see, these training sessions are extremely important Buffy. I cannot stress to you how important they are, especially now that Angelus..."

Buffy had been staring off to the side, feeling a little embarassed that he had so easily knocked her down, yet even so, finding it hard to pay attention to Giles. It was something that had been happening a lot lately.

When he mentioned Angelus, her head jerked before snapping her full attention back to Giles' mournful expression as he realized his faux pas. Uncomfortably he apologized "I'm sorry Buffy...I can only imagine how painful this is..."

Gently smiling Buffy forced herself to say "No Giles, it's okay. Really it is. You're right, I haven't been focusing like I should, but I promise I will."

The librarian just stared at her for a few moments before hesitatingly saying "If you need to talk...um, about Angel...I'm here to listen."

Bravely she said "What's there to talk about? He's not Angel. Angel is gone. I've accepted that."

"Have you?"

Sadness darkening her eyes, she quietly said "I have because I have to Giles."

Staring at her for a few moments Giles didn't know what to say. Even though Buffy tried to hide her pain, how could it not be evident when she lost the love of her young life? How could it not be evident when a monster dwelt within the body of the man she loved?

To say he was worried about her was an understatement. She was holding all her grief inside; any time she was in a verbal confrontation, she backed down like she just did now. She was not acting like the Buffy he knew. It was as if she were slowly folding down within herself.

As much as he wanted to help her, he knew that Buffy didn't need for him to push the issue with her. God how he ached for her though! Giles just nodded and said "Very well Buffy. That will be all for now." But on the inside, he wept the tears she wouldn't show.

Buffy turned from him and walked over to behind the counter. Squatting down she reached for her bag. She was so close to breaking and pouring her heart out, but she couldn't. She deserved whatever suffering she had. She didn't deserve to share it with anyone, she didn't deserve the weight of it to be shared. It was her fault that Angelus was on the loose and that Angel, her eyes began to water at the thought of his name, was as good as dead now.

Her mind shied away from thinking about him. She couldn't break down now. She would not break down now. Standing up and walking around to the front of the counter with her bag over her shoulder, Buffy was about to leave the library when Giles called out to her. He came from his office and asked "Um, Buffy, are you going on patrol tonight?"

Shrugging her shoulders she said "Yeah. You know me, I'm patrol girl."

"Yes, well, please be careful." His warning of concern communicated a wealth of more meaning than just the simple words. Buffy could understand and hear all that he could not say to her.

Smiling she promised "I will." Turning away from his worried expression she walked out of the library. As she walked down the hall she thought about her upcoming patrol.

She dreaded it. Just as she dreaded every night that she patrolled. She dreaded seeing HIM.

Even though she hadn't seen Angelus in about a week, since she totally blew up the Judge, she didn't know what was worse: seeing him or not.

Because she hadn't seen him, it worried her. What was he up to? To be more specific, what evil was he planning to do against humankind? It was too much to hope that he decided to leave the pleasantly warm climate of the Hellmouth and go elsewhere.

Still, as much as it shouldn't bother her, the thought of never seeing Angel's body again saddened her. Logically she knew that Angel wasn't here anymore, but her heart still hadn't yet figured it out. At times she still felt as if she could go over and talk to Angel. If she had a problem, her first instinct was to tell Angel.

Only Angel was permanently out of town.

And it was her fault.

No, she definitely didn't look forward to patrolling tonight.

Reaching outside, Buffy squinted as the sunlight pierced her eyes. Heading for home she thought about Willow and Xander's suggestion about going to the Bronze that night.

At first she had said that she had too much homework, which caused Willow to snort in disbelief. Then she had made the excuse that she was too tired, which they obviously didn't really believe either, but they let it go.

Now she felt as if maybe the Bronze wasn't such a bad idea afterall. Maybe she needed some socialization other than her nightly 'dates' with the undead. Deciding to call Willow when she got home, Buffy felt better.

Only slightly.

But it would have to do

A few hours later, Buffy was sitting at a small table between her best friends and feeling absolutely miserable. All around her were couples.

Couples, couples, couples.

There were happy couples, groping couples, fighting couples, and dancing couples; every combination of couples known to civilization were all at the Bronze.

Willow and Xander had both tried for the past thirty minutes to be their most upbeat and cheerful but even they were running out of steam. During an uncomfortable silence, Buffy turned her melancholy gaze away from a blond girl happily slow-dancing with a tall, dark man and apologized to her friends. "I'm sorry you guys. I know you're both trying to cheer me up, and I'm just bringing you down."

Her smooth brow wrinkling in concern, Willow said "You're not bringing us down Buffy. We don't mind doing all the talking, do we Xander?"

"Huh? Oh, no we don't mind talking. In fact, we like talking. Talking is good. It's something we choose to do alot of.

"Just what Xander said. We don't mind it at all."

Weakly smiling Buffy thought about how she really lucked out in finding these two friends of hers. Just them being there with her throughout the last few weeks meant so much to her. "Will, Xander...I know that I haven't said this to you, but I just want to thank you both for being here for me."

"Oh Buffy, that's so sweet,"Willow softly stated "but you don't have to thank us. We're friends. That's what friends do for each other."

"Really, thanks for listening to me, even when I wasn't talking." Buffy sat up straighter and tilted her head to the side. "Xander I think at the very least I owe you a dance. Would you do me the favor?"

Standing up and moving over to Buffy's side, Xander extended his arm and said "I just hope that you can handle me. I'm ready to get down tonight! I'm ready to do a little dance, make a little-"

Xander abruptly stopped as he realized what he was about to say. Avoiding Buffy's amused look he muttered "Don't you just love that K.C and the Sunshine Band?" Willow met Buffy's eyes before both girls erupted in laughter.

"Sure, sure...have a laugh at the Xan-man! As if my ego wasn't fragile enough!"

"Ooh Xander, we're sorry. Come on, we'll stop teasing." Linking her arm with his, Buffy said "We'll be back!"

"Don't mind me, I'll be fine. You two have a good time." Willow sat there drinking a soda as she watched her best friends dance. She was glad that Buffy seemed to be trying to get better, but Willow knew that Buffy had a long road ahead of her.

If only she could help her.

Unfortunately, no one could help Buffy. Angel was gone forever and the... _thing_ that was walking with his body was pure evil. Eventually Buffy would have to stop him the way a Slayer does, but how would she gather the strength to slam a stake through the heart of the man she loves?

Even if his soul is no longer here, his body is still here. How will Buffy bring herself to end it? All Willow could do was sit there and wish that things could have gone differently.

Meanwhile, Buffy and Xander's one dance spilled over into another dance, this time a slow one. It wasn't anything like the one they had before. This one was a moment of pure friendship, without the lust or the desire to lash out. Buffy just laid her head on Xander's shoulder and allowed the rhythm of the music to guide her.

Xander held his friend and although she didn't say anything, he could feel that she was trying to forget. Trying to forget the events of the past few weeks. Trying to forget his most favorite of all vamps-Dead Boy.

Even though Xander had never wanted them together, he would never have hoped or wished for things to turn out like this. And not just because of Angel turning bad and being the most dangerous thing to hit the streets since Manson, but because of what it did to Buffy.

As crazy as it sounded to himself, if Xander had the power, he would give Angel back to Buffy. If only to make her happy again. _I'm hopelessly in love with her and I have about as much of a chance with Buffy as the Undead Psycho. I'm crazy, pure and simple._ Xander just shook his head and clutched his friend closer to himself.

Taking a sip from her drink, Willow slightly swayed to the music and let her eyes casually drift around the Bronze. Her gaze slid past one figure before careening back to him. Willow's eyes widened and she almost choked on her soda as she saw him.

Angelus.

He was standing in the shadows near the back of the club, completely dressed in black like the sinister creature that he was, with his arm around a pretty blond. However, he was not even looking down at the girl's upturned face.

Instead he was glaring out at the dance floor.

Moving her line of sight to what he was staring at, Willow saw just what she wasn't hoping to see: Buffy and Xander.

Wringing her hands, Willow was torn between sitting where she was and keeping an eye on Angel or yanking Buffy and Xander apart. Angel so looked capable of killing them both just for dancing together.

Angel and Xander never really got along, but at least they could be somewhat civilized, but now-Angel didn't seem like the tolerant type anymore. Taking a deep breath, Willow's mind debated on what to do.

Continuing to stare back and forth between both sides of the Bronze, she made up her mind to tell Buffy that Angel was here. The more seconds that had passed, the more coldly enraged he seemed to get. By the expression on his face, Willow expected him to rip Xander to pieces at any moment.

The thought of Xander-limbs scattering on the floor caused Willow to hop out of her chair. Taking a last glance at Angel, she saw that he was now looking at her. She felt her stomach drop to the floor; she could feel the menace eminating from him.

Staring at him she felt like an animal caught in the headlights. As if he knew exactly what she was feeling, Angel smirked at her. All the while keeping his gaze on her, he leaned his head down to the girl's, whispered something in her ear before giving her a kiss on her temple, and then threw Willow a lascivious wink.

Willow's eyes followed their exit out of the Bronze as she seemingly stood paralyzed. "What's wrong? Why are you just standing there?" Xander's voice snapped her out of her trance-like state.

Whirling around she gasped "Buffy! It was him! He was standing right over there-"

Buffy's stomach tightened up with tension. He was here. Tonight was finally going to be the night. Willing serenity to fill her, she threw a quick prayer up to God. "Willow you saw Angel?"

"Yeah, not the good Angel but the bad one! Well, obviously not the good one because if it was then I wouldn't be hypervenilating like this. Oh I'm sorry! Of course you know that it's Angelus because..."

Willow, you're not really making the situation any better here" Xander warned in an effort to stop her floundering.

Quickly scanning the Bronze Buffy asked "Where did you see him?"

Pointing in the direction of the far-side of the club, Willow explained "He was over there but he left."

Returning her gaze back to her friend, Buffy questioned "How long ago? Did he just leave now?" Seeing Willow nod her head, she said "Alright, I guess I have to start patrol a little early tonight."

Turning away, she was brought up short when she felt Willow's hand clutch her forearm. Meeting her friend's worried gaze, she was about to reassure her when she heard "Buffy...he wasn't alone. There was a girl with him. I-I think he's going to hurt her."

Not even by a flicker of an eyelid did Buffy show her pain and anxiety over hearing those words. _It's only because Angel is killing again_ she assured herself. _It's not because he's with someone other than me._

"I'm going to stop him. Don't worry Will, I'll call you tonight."

"Promise?"

Smiling slightly, Buffy emphatically stated "Promise." Meeting Xander's own worried gaze she instructed "Take Willow home, but both you be careful. Did you bring your stakes-"

"We brought the whole arsenal of demon-repellant: stakes, crosses, holy water, garlic for good measure, we're covered." The forced joviality left his voice and turned serious. "Hey, Buffy...be careful."

"I will be." Reaching over she gave both of them an impromptu hug, before pulling away. Taking a deep breath she smiled at them and turned away.

Without taking very much time, she rushed through the throng of teen-agers and reached the outside of the club. Looking around her, Buffy tried to pick up the slightest sense of where Angel could have taken his victim.

After a few moments she instinctually felt that Angel wasn't near the Bronze anymore. Her legs quickly walked away from the club and soon she found herself at the entrance of the cememtary. Because of her heightened sense of hearing she soon heard the high-pitched giggles that told her Angel and his 'date' were there in the cemetary.

At the moment, Angelus was holding the pretty blond by the waist and smiling down in her face. Her inane chattering was enough to make him want to rip her throat out just to shut her up. Pickings were rather slim though that night, so he had to make this one last.

Angelus spoke when necessary, but as to what he was saying, he had no idea what it was.

The girl must have liked it because she kept on giggling and rubbing herself against him like a bitch in heat. He found that his mind was on other things that night.

As they were the night before that.

And the night before that.

He was pretty much ignoring everything the silly creature was saying until he heard one word. "What did you say?" Angelus silkily asked.

Running her fingers down his velvet-covered chest, the nameless girl cooed "I thought you were with that girl Buffy. Don't you think she would get mad if she knew you were here with me?"

Buffy.

Angel's darling. His bitch.

Just the thought of her made him long to snap her neck. Just the thought of her made him long to fuck her to death. Just the thought of her made him long to just fuck her.

And all just the fucking thought of her.

Angered by the unwanted feelings of arousal he felt for the Slayer-bitch, Angelus was going to make sure that this girl would suffer for bringing up HER name. Focusing his attention to his pretty meal he replied "Oh I am still with Buffy."

 _In ways that sicken me, but that I will surely sever._

Confusedly she asked "You are?" A frown wrinkled her brow as she pulled away from him. She had always seen him at the Bronze and had always wanted him, but he had never paid any attention to anyone else-before.

Tonight, she thought that he had to be free and that she was why she had a chance with him. Hearing that he was still with Buffy did not sit well with her at all. Unless he had something else in mind...

Pulling her back to him, he wickedly said "You see, what is your name again?"

Offended she huffed before she answered "Jennifer."

"Ah, Jennifer. You see Jenny, my Buffy and I have been on the outs now for a few weeks. To tell you the truth, I still feel very strongly for her, but she doesn't return my feelings anymore. She killed my heart, so that it doesn't even beat anymore." Hanging his head down, he appeared to be the perfect picture of someone tragically in love.

As if on cue, Jennifer touched his shoulder and replied "If she can't love you anymore, then she doesn't deserve you."

Hiding his triumphant grin, Angelus soulfully looked up and said "I knew you would understand me. When I saw you standing there all by yourself, you know what I felt?"

Seeing that shook her head, he ferverently said "I felt that you were different. I thought that you were someone who I could BE with. Not just one girl for one night, but as my one and only. I could _feel_ that you wouldn't be like my Buffy."

Coyly smiling she asked "Really? You think that you could care for me like you care for her?"

"Of course. I picked you, didn't I?"

"Could you care for me more than you care for her?"

"Possibly."

"Could you forget about her and love me?"

"Consider it done." Leaning down, he crushed her soft mouth beneath his. He could see and smell that she was becoming aroused. Knowing human nature as he did, he knew that the surest way to seduce this girl was to stroke her ego.

Jenny was the kind of girl that needed to take what others had, it was in her nature to try to steal whatever it was that she wanted, especially emotions. What she wanted tonight was to steal the affections of a boyfriend. Unfortunately for her, she picked the wrong boyfriend.

After a few seconds, Jennifer linked her arms around his neck and moaned into his mouth. _Humans are so fucking predictable! It's a wonder they didn't get wiped off this miserable planet eons ago._ Lifting his head, Angelus hynotically gazed into her wide, brown eyes and asked "Have you ever got naked in a cemetary, Jenny? Have you ever danced under the moonlight?" Lowering his voice to the merest whisper he asked "Have you ever given yourself up to the night?"

Before Jennifer could answer, a dry voice spoke from a few feet away. "I don't think there's going to be any nakedness going on between you two. Sorry, but that means that the moonlight and the giving of oneself are kinda out too."

Not even sounding surprised Angelus jovially said "Slayer! I was wondering how long you were going to stand there before you said something. Actually I was kinda hoping that maybe you'd join in."

With a startled gasp, Jennifer guiltily pulled away from Angelus. Stammering she explained "I-I thought t-that y-you two w-weren't together-" She abruptly stopped when she felt his hand rest on her shoulder. Emboldened by his touch she drew up and nastily said "I don't think that it's any of your business what we're doing. You have some nerve, you know that?"

Crossing her arms in front of her, Buffy kept staring at Angelus' smug countenance. Without taking her eyes off him, she asked "Why do you say that?"

"You're sick because you can't love someone like him. If he were mine, I wouldn't ever let him go!" Remembering his words, she purred "Oh, but you see, he IS mine now. He's dumping you for me!"

Pinning him with a challenging stare Buffy cooly said "That's funny. I didn't even know that he could dump me, since we're not exactly together anymore. So Angel, are you going to let go of her the nice way, or am I going to have to make it painful for you?"

Idly caressing the blond's shoulder, he took his time before answering. Finally he said "Oh Buff, haven't you got it yet? Haven't you figured out that you can't make me do anything? However...I might let her go, but that depends on you."

"Meaning?"

"I don't know if I feel like giving her up. What will you give me in return?"

"Umm...let me think...oh, I got it! How about NOTHING!" Her voice became menacing as she ordered "Let her go Angel. Now." Staring back at her for a few seconds, Angelus' mouth broke into an evil grin. "I could rip her throat out right here and then what would you do? Try to kill me? But then it would be too late for poor old Jenny here." Shaking his head in mock sorrow, he waited for her next move.

Shifting her body slightly, Buffy glanced at the girl and ordered "Move away from him...Now!"

Stubbornly Jennifer clung to her would-be murderer. His comment about killing her couldn't have been literal. He was just making his point that he couldn't be kept away from her. "No! Why don't you leave? Go away! Don't you see that he doesn't want you anymore?"

Chuckling, Angelus said "Ooh it seems like we're at a stalemate Slayer. She doesn't want to be rescued, what are you going to do?" Since he was standing behind her, Jennifer had no idea that he had just morphed.

Buffy knew that if Angel chose to attack the girl, she would not be able to get to them in time. With a slight edge of desperation in her voice she said "What to do you want Angel? Do you want to fight, is that it? Do you want to see if you can take me?"

Crudely he said "I can take you anyway and anytime babe. Oh, you mean fight you! I kinda didn't hear that part since a fight with you wouldn't be much of a fight." Angelus stood there for a few seconds, seemingly deep in thought, before he shrugged. "Why the hell not? I could always do with another Slayer-notch on my belt."

Warily Buffy again ordered "Move away from him now!"

"No! Angel wants me with him-" All of a sudden Jennifer felt a strong push that left her sprawled on the ground. While she lay there dazedly she heard Angel say "Are you deaf? Didn't you hear her say to get away from me?" Picking herself up she turned to face him, stared at him for a second, and then abruptly started screaming.

Morphing back to human, Angelus impatiently snarled "Oh will you just shut the fuck up and get the hell out of here!" Staring between Buffy and Angel in disbelief, she began shaking her head from side to side, before scurrying away.

The incident that night in the cemetary would haunt her for years; never again did she allow herself to get picked up by a stranger. Crazily enough, at least to her rational mind, she was also haunted to the day she died, at the ripe age of eighty-six, by the inexplicable wish to have gone through with the dark promises of dancing naked in the moonlight...

After the girl ran out of the cemetary, Buffy completely focused her attention on Angelus. On the surface she knew that she appeared completely in control and as detached as he was. Internally, her emotions were in a jumble. When she had first seen the two together, she couldn't stop the immediate feeling of betrayal. It hurt to see him with someone other than her, even though she _knew_ that it wasn't Angel.

Now, she was going to have to fight him. Fight the demon Angelus who had deceitfully stolen Angel's body. She was going to have to kill him. She was going to have to drive a stake through him.

She was going to have to watch his body explode into ash.

She was going to have to watch that ash float and scatter to the winds, never to be seen again.

It hurt so badly! God give her the strength to do what she HAD to do.

Angelus' thoughts were no less troubled. It drove him insane to have this mortal consume his every murderous thought. He knew that he would see her at the Bronze. For reasons that he couldn't explain to himself, he had wanted to see her.

What he hadn't wanted to see was Buffy dancing with that jerk-off Xander. He had seen her sitting at the table with her little friends. He had seen her staring wistfully at the couple that so reminded her of them both. Yes, he could see her transparent thoughts written all over her face.

He had seen it all.

What he hadn't seen was her getting up to dance with that puke. That annoying fluff of a human had dragged his attention away from Buffy so that when he looked up again, he saw her out there with him.

He had felt such an indescribable rage overtake him that he almost leapt onto the dance floor to kill them both. It enflamed him that he even cared who she danced with or even fucked. At that thought his fury grew almost unbearble. As much as it disgusted him, he didn't want anyone to touch Angel's love because...

He wanted her to be _his_ whore, before he destroyed her.

And those feelings were completely unacceptable to him.

He knew she would follow him here. He had been sure that Buffy's little red-head friend would run and tell.

Now he was going to have to kill the Slayer. He would not let her sully his thoughts any longer. If they didn't finish things tonight, he WOULD finish them. It could be quick and brutal or it could be drawn out and insanely painful, but he would drive Buffy out of his being regardless of cost.

Seeing her drop into her fighting stance, Angelus took a few steps forward and growled low in his throat. "Ladies first Buff. Come on, I'll let you throw the first blow."

"Don't do me any favors Angel." Buffy tensely watched him for the slightest movement.

"No favor. Just don't want you to think I'm not a gentleman." All of a sudden his fist shot out and would've clipped Buffy in the jaw if it wasn't for her lightening quick reflexes.

The battle had begun.

Each threw fierce blows but neither seemed to be able to solidly connect. For several minutes they fought with deadly intent, but no one was able to give ground. Finally he did a roundhouse kick just as she was about to throw an uppercut. It caught her right on the side and knocked her flat on her back to the ground.

"What's the matter Buff? A little off on your game?" Angelus snidely asked as he lifted a leg to stomp her on the chest. Just before his boot connected with her chest, Buffy grabbed his foot, twisted, and threw him to the ground.

"It doesn't seem to be _my_ game that's off Angel." Her foot connected with his ribs as she forcefully kicked him when he attempted to get up. Angelus grunted but then he flew off the ground with vampiric speed and smashed his fist on the side of her head.

Miraculously Buffy didn't fall, but only slightly stumbled before shaking it off and posturing herself defensively. Goading him she spat "Is that the best you can do demon? No wonder your kind is so easy to dust."

His eyes darting to find any vulnerability in her stance, Angelus softly growled "I wouldn't be so confident just yet Slayer. I'm going to so _love_ watching you die."

"Well I plan on living for a long time Angel. You however only have a few minutes, if even that, left." Buffy felt her chest tighten with unwilling pain. This was going to be it. She had always heard that before one dies their life flashes before their eyes. She now knew that it was true.

Only it wasn't just her life that flashed and burned brightly in her psyche. It was the life she had with Angel. It was THEIR life that was going to die.

Forever.

Buffy thought that she was doing a good job with hiding her true emotions from him. She thought she was handling her grief just fine. She thought she was burying it so deeply that it would never be able to escape. She believed that she would keep and nurture that grief until she drew her last breath.

And no one would know.

However, she couldn't hide it well enough from a creature like him. Angelus saw it all.

He absorbed the tremendous energy of sadness that flowed from his enemy. He greedily stood there and drank it all in. Her misery was her weakness, even if she didn't yet know it. Her love was her vulnerability.

Her love for _Angel_ was her mortal wound.

He couldn't best her physically, yet. But if he exploited her emotions, then he could best her.

It was too tempting.

He shouldn't do it. He should end it all right here. Even if that meant taking the chance that he would lose and she would stake him. Surely that would preferable to perpetuating his already rampant obsession.

No, he _would not_ do it.

Better that the bitch die or that he die. No fucking way was he going to waste his time with feeding his dirty obsession with a worthless human.

 _God help me, I have to do this. If you're listening, please-I need your help_ Buffy desperately prayed. Not even a whisper of divine intervention in the form of silent words came to Buffy.

Instead, the more Buffy looked at Angelus, the more she was able to look past the murderous glint in his eyes. She was able to see the ghost of an image; the gentleness of Angel started transposing himself with the image in front of her.

The more she stared at him, the more that time seemed to slow down. The less real her situation seemed. _This cannot be happening._ Mentally she scrambled _Maybe I can cure him. Maybe I can bring Angel back._

"Lover, you seem awfully confused. Anything I can do to help you?" Angelus gratingly asked.

"Thanks, but no thanks."

"Aww, come on Buff. Let me at least take a stab at it." coming out of his defensive crouch, he seemingly pondered the situation. "I bet you're thinking of...um...could it be? No, not him...let's see...oh yes, I bet you're thinking of..." he paused dramatically,"...ANGEL!"

"And this matters to you because?" Buffy sarcastically snapped.

Grinning he shrugged. "Well, Angel is a man who is dear to my heart, oh wait...that's right, I don't have one. Screw it! I guess I'll tell you the truth. I love to see a gorgeous girl like yourself in agony. What can I say? It just makes my night."

Emotionlessly Buffy stated "I'm not in agony. I'm not in grief. So don't flatter yourself in thinking that you consume my thoughts because you don't."

"Ooh! A little testy are we? I never said anything about consuming your thoughts. Since you brought it up though, it must be true. Thank you Slayer, I'm glad to know that you can still think of me. Especially after I took over your boyfriend's body, destroyed your love, etc., etc."

"You may have taken over his body, but you will NEVER destroy our love. Our love is eternal. Wherever Angel is at, I know that he still feels it just as strongly as I do. Nothing you can do, nothing you can say will ever change that."

Throwing back his head Angelus gave a shout of laughter. Mimicking her he said "'Nothing you can do, nothing you can say will ever change that.' How dramatic! Oh you humans! I tell you, your kind definitely can do much more than provide a meal. At times, like now, you humans provide first-class entertainment! Buffy, what makes you think that I _care_ about your 'great love'?"

Turning his own words against him, she shrugged her shoulders and said "I never brought up my love for Angel, you did. So since you brought it up, you must think about it alot. Which tells me that it must bother you. Why is that?"

The amusement left his face as her barb struck closer to home than she would ever imagine it would. He DID think about the love Angel and herself shared and it bothered him. He just didn't know why...

Fury burning brightly in his dark eyes, he began to pace. "It doesn't bother me. Why would it ever bother me? Why would I care what you two had? Do you honestly think that one piece of ass is worth more than five minutes thought?"

Seeing that she had him on the defense she said "Sounds like it bothers you to me. In fact I bet you do think about it alot. I bet you can remember what happened between Angel and I when we made love. I bet you can remember every detail, and I would even bet that it drives you crazy that it didn't happen to you."

Angelus stopped his pacing and pinned her with a hateful glare. "As a matter of fact I do remember everything. Do you want to know what I remember? I remember an insipid virgin who didn't know one end of a cock from another. I remember an ice-queen who had even less movement than a corpse. I remember a Slayer that had to have been the worse lay that Angel and I had EVER had. No wonder he left; he didn't leave because of one grand, true moment of happiness. He left because you bored him to death!"

While his words slashed at her self-confidence, Buffy did not allow it to show. She buried it inside of her, she placed her pain deep within, along with all of the other pain. "Nice try Angelus, but it's not going to work. You forget that I was there. I _know_ what Angel and I felt for each other."

The fact that his statements didn't seem to affect Buffy and the fact that she steadfastly believed in her love with that pansy irritated Angelus beyond measure. Needling her he pityingly said "Sure Buff, convince yourself anyway you can. Convince yourself as to why he left. But tell me this: why do you think that it was so easy for me to come back? Especially at that particular moment. Gypsy curse or not, it was so easy for me to take control again. Don't you find that a bit odd?"

Coolly staring at his mock-innocent expression, Buffy simply stated "Angel had no choice. I know that if there was any chance he could come back, he would."

Arching his brows, Angelus whistled. Amusedly studying her remote expression, he commented "You really do want to believe that, don't you? You really believe that your love is all-powerful. You believe that eventually Angel will come back. You're probably going to try to get that gypsy or your little Willow to bring him back."

Walking away from her with his arms outstretched Angelus stopped when he was about fifteen feet away. Looking over his shoulder his voice dripped with annoying charm. "I'll do you another favor."

"Like what? Let me stake you real easy? Walk out into the sun?"

Grinning wickedly Angelus said "Nah, not that kind of favor. Even though you know that I would do just about anything for you Slayer, I kinda like my body in a solid substance and as much as it shames me to admit it, my skin's too delicate for daylight. You know, with the U.V rays and all. No, the favor I'm going to do for you is this: I'll give Angel a chance."

Tersely Buffy asked "Excuse me? A chance for what?"

"What do you think? A chance to come back. If your love is as strong as you say it is, he should have no problem coming back. I'll relax the control I have on this plane, and see if he shows."

Buffy felt her heart beat in slow, heavy thuds. "Why would you do that? Because you're such a nice demon, right?" He was probably bullshitting her, but what if?

"Why would I do it? That is the question, isn't it?" He was silent for several moments before mysteriously saying "I guess that's just going to have to be my little secret, won't it?"

Buffy didn't bother to respond as she awaited his next move. "I see all that doubt Buffy. Don't blame you though. I bet he doesn't even show. Why bother coming back? I'm sure he's having a grand old time floating on a cloud strumming a harp, or something as equally dull-"

All of a sudden his body shook violently and he dropped to his knees. Groaning Angelus could only get out a surprised "What the hell?" before the pain cut his words short. Flinging his head back he gave a great roar before collapsing on the ground.

Buffy stared in shock before cautiously approaching his fallen figure. When she was about five feet away, she saw him stir so she abruptly stopped.

"Buffy-" Angel softly called. It was _him_. Buffy quickly ran and dropped to her knees. Turning him over, she ran her hand over his face as he blinked several times and tried to focus on her. "Buffy? W-what are we doing here?"

Tears running down her face she whispered "Angel?"

Confusedly looking at the grief and joy on her face, he reached a shaky hand up to wipe the tears from her face. "Hey, why are you crying?" Sitting up he enveloped her into his strong embrace. "Ssh, baby. Please don't cry anymore. It's going to be alright, I promise."

Clutching him tightly Buffy felt the sobs catch in her throat. "I can't believe it's really you. I've missed you so much! I love you so much!"

"I love you too. I don't know what's happened, but please, I hate to see you cry. Please don't cry anymore." Pulling back from her, he held her face in his hands and leaned forward to kiss her. Their mouths gently touched. Angel flicked his tongue and traced the outline of her lips before she willingly opened her mouth to let him in.

Breaking their kiss, Angel touched each of her salty tears with his lips and then kissed each delicate eyelid. When she opened her eyes, Buffy stared into his dark, peaceful gaze. She felt herself get slowly drawn into him. She never wanted him to leave her again. Voicing her thoughts out loud she pleaded "Angel...please don't ever leave me."

Without saying a word, his mouth again touched hers to meet in a kiss. It started the same as the one before, yet quickly turned voracious. Holding her to him with one arm, Angel let his other hand follow the curves exposed by her very short baby-blue dress. "Oh, Buff you feel so good..." he breathed before he began to kiss her neck.

Buffy's senses were drowning in his touch. When he pinched her nipple, she softly moaned into his mouth. His hand soon moved down to the hem of her dress before sliding underneath to touch the juncture between her legs. When his fingers encountered the wetness that seeped on her panties, he growled with pleasure.

Abruptly ripping them off of her, his fingers delved and sank into her warmth. Buffy's cry of apprehension soon turned into soft breathy pants when his fingers began to rhythmically move in and out of her. "Angel..."

"Do you love me Buffy?" he darkly spoke in her ear.

"Um...yes..."

"Always?"

"Yes...forever...oh,yes..." Buffy could feel the strange tension take her body as his fingers moved faster and faster. Clutching his arm, she writhed in ecstasy. When his thumb began to press down and rotate on her little nub, Buffy's eyes opened to meet the tight and drawn features of his beautiful face before glazing over as the first wave of her orgasm overtook her.

It felt so good. There was nothing in the world like it. For the second time in her life, Buffy had an orgasm. It was frightening, yet exhiliarating and only her beloved Angel could give her this feeling.

She didn't really exactly understand how or why Angel was back, but at this moment her hatred for Angelus slipped a little bit because he had stepped aside long enough for Angel to come back.

Falling limply against him, she nuzzled his neck as he stroked her hip. "Did that feel good, Buff?"

As the fog of her desire broke, she felt a sliver of apprenhension run down her spine. Angel never called her Buff. That was the second time he had said it. Focusing on his face, she no longer saw the gentle, soulful eyes of Angel but instead saw the malicious, _soulless_ eyes of Angelus.

Before she could leap out of his treacherous embrace, his mouth brutally closed over hers for a few seconds. Even through the harshness of his kiss, Buffy felt a traitorous spark flare within.

Abruptly letting her go Angelus stood up and walked away to lean against a tombstone. Seeing that she was already up and staring at him with barely-concealed hatred in her eyes, he condescendingly advised "You really should be more careful in the future lover. When you go against an opponent, you should learn to conceal all of your thoughts. All I had to was mention Angel and poof! all your thoughts were right there for me to read. But don't beat yourself up too much about it, most wouldn't be able to see it, but since I get off on misery I make it my business to see these things."

He wasn't willing to let it go at that. "I deserve an award for that performance! Man, I totally fooled you! You would think that you know the difference between the man you love and me...I guess your love isn't as strong as you think it is."

Feeling the sickness twist her stomack in vicious knots Buffy couldn't believe how easily she had been taken in. He had been able to fool her because she had wanted to believe so badly that her Angel had come back. Staring at his hateful arrogant face she succinctly said "My love for Angel is unbreakable. Something like you would never know it or understand it."

Cockily grinning at her "Oh, you can keep your love Slayer. I don't want it. All I wanted from you, I've already had." Bringing his hand up to his face Angelus closed his eyes as if savoring the aroma of a scent. "I have your cum all over my fingers and I do have to tell you Buff, it smells _soo_ good."

Internally recoiling from his words Buffy once again assumed her emotionless mask. "You may have me over your fingers, but it was never for you. When I felt your fingers, I was feeling Angel's. It was his name that I was calling. Never yours. You can't make me feel any shame, because you don't have the power. Everything that you think I gave to you, I gave to Angel."

Unwillingly Angelus felt each of Buffy's words strike him. Peering into her face, he could read absolutely nothing of her emotions. It enflamed him that she could coolly state that she would never feel HIM. That all she would ever feel was Angel.

It enflamed him even more that he had a raging hard-on because of her. Damn bitch! Why didn't he end it when she was helpless in his arms? Why didn't he just tear into her throat? Or better yet, her heart?

Why did he have to hold her against him?

Staring at her he felt his being teeter on the brink of demonic rage. No, he was not going to entertain thoughts of keeping her alive. FUCK! She thought she was too good for him! Fuck her!

It outraged him beyond words that it even bothered him.

He was just going to have to kill her. Straightening up he purposely advanced towards her while saying "Enough small-talk. Playtime is over Slayer. It's time for you to be reunited with your true love."

Pulling a long, thick silver hairping from her upswept hair Buffy clutched it in her hand tightly. It wasn't a stake, but it would get the job done. "I agree, let's cut the talk out. And I think it's time for you to be reunited with the rest of your kind-in hell."

Angelus' fist shot out and connected with her shoulder. Buffy held in her cry of pain while her other fist cleanly connected with his jaw. She quickly sent both of her fists into his throat, causing him to stumble back. Before she could land another blow, he brutally backhanded her. He lunged towards her, but she deftly side-stepped him and kicked him squarely in the back. Angelus abruptly fell upon his hands and knees, barely missing a tombstone.

Determinely reaching him Buffy's fist tightened around her chop-stick hairpin. This was going to be it. She had to do it. She could think about it later. _Give me the strength Lord._

Hearing her come up from behind him, Angelus morphed into his 'game' face. This was going to be it. He had to do it. When he was pretending to be Angel, he had become too involved. He had become her lover, if only for a few moments.

That was totally unacceptable.

No, she had intruded on his thoughts one too many times. Now her scent, her elixer was apart of him. Before he could remember the scent she left with Angel, but it was like a ghost of a memory. Now, it was deeply imprinted upon him.

He just had to see her as another kill. _Get ready for it boy._

Simultaneously Buffy and Angelus both made their move to deliver the killing blow to the other. Buffy had her 'stake' pulled back and ready to plunge, while Angelus' fangs were ready to pierce and tear the delicate flesh of her neck.

Simultaneously both hesitated at the exact same moment.

Buffy's pin was poised right over his heart while Angelus had her clutched in his deadly arms with his fangs posed right over her neck. If they hadn't hesitated, both would have instantly died.

The realization dawned on both of them at the exact same moment.

Tensely they stood there, in a travesty of a lover's embrace, neither of them willing to move in case the other decided to attack. Finally Angelus warily spoke. "It seems we're at another stalemate."

"So it seems."

"What should we do about it?"

"You could move your fangs from my neck and let me do my job."

"Not likely. How about you move your delightful instrument of death from my chest?"

"Not going to happen. The minute I do, you eat me. No way."

"I'd love to eat you Slayer-" Hearing where he was going Buffy pressed her pin against him but then she felt the sharp prick of him against her neck. Dragging in a shaky breath Buffy eased the pressure from her pin and Angelus eased the pressure from her neck.

They both stood that way for several minutes. Buffy could feel the slow trickle of a solitary bead of sweat run down between her breasts as she thought of her next move. Every way she thought about it, she was screwed.

Angelus could not understand why he had hesitated. After all his back talk, he hedged. He had been a millisecond away from tearing into her neck, when something stopped him. Strange...

Tamping down his self-anger, Angelus focused on the present moment: getting the Slayer to ease off his chest.

The only thing he needed to think about was how to get out of the present predicament. Taking a gamble, Angelus morphed back into his human visage and slowly pulled back. Holding his hands up in a gesture of peace, he said "I won't attack if you won't. Deal?"

Warily staring him down Buffy said "I don't see a need for a deal. Why not end it now? That way I can go home and I can send you home."

Chuckling Angelus put his hands down and put them in his pockets. Rocking back on his heels he sighed. "Slayer...Slayer...why the hurry? We can finish this another time, another way."

"Excuse me for not buying it, but you seemed more than eager to end it a few minutes ago."

Enigmatically smiling Angelus smoothly replied "I had a change of...heart. Until later Lover." And just like that, he was gone.

Buffy stood there for a few seconds, not quite understanding what happened. With a puzzled frown she turned away and made her way home, keeping her senses on full alert just in case Angelus was up to another trick.

Seeing that the lights in the living room were still on she looked down at her wristwatch. Damn! She was late. Seeing that she still had the pin in her hand, Buffy quickly twisted her hair and stuck the pin through it. Looking down at the condition of her dress, she saw that it didn't look too bad but if her mom looked at it too closely...

Seeing no hope for it, Buffy quickly walked through the door to find her mother sleeping in a chair with a blanket wrapped around her. As soon as the door closed her mother startled and blearily looked around the room. When she saw Buffy, she sat up straighter and fixed her daughter with a stern stare.

"Buffy have you any idea what time it is?"

"Mom I'm sorry. I know that I'm late-"

Joyce angrily broke in with, "You know what time your curfew is Buffy! Why can't you meet it? Don't you know that I worry when you come home late?"

Contritely Buffy apologized. "I know that you worry and I'm sorry Mom."

Shaking her head Joyce said "Your sorry isn't going to cut it. You've been late one too many times! I'm sorry Buffy but you're grounded. That means no going out to the Bronze, the mall, or over to Willow's. For a week you are to be at this home immediately after school."

Weakly Buffy said "But Mom, I get tutored after school..."

Running her hand through her hair, Buffy's mother thought about it for a second and then relented-slightly. "Alright, you can stay for your tutoring after school but immediately after that-I want you home."

Already Buffy was feeling a little guilty for the upcoming week because she knew she would have to sneak out of the house. Nodding her head Buffy apologized again. "I'm sorry Mom."

Standing up her mother came over to her and gave her a tight hug. Pulling back she smoothed Buffy's hair back and said "Oh honey, I know you're sorry. I do this because I love you and I want to keep you safe. You're only seventeen Buffy. _Seventeen_. Why the rush to grow up so fast?"

Seeing her mother's worried and wistful eyes, Buffy wanted to say "I don't want to grow up at all. I want to be a little girl forever! I want to go to sleep-overs and go to the mall, and have my biggest dilemma be whether I should go out with John from the swim team or Chris from the basketball squad."

Feeling the heaviness of her private burden Buffy wished she could tell her mother everything. She wished she could tell her about the slaying, the battles with demons, Angel...

All of a sudden, Buffy could feel herself begin to crack. Giving her mother a kiss on the cheek, she murmured "Goodnight" before fleeing up the stairs, leaving her mother to stand there with a troubled expression on her face. Once she reached her room, she closed and locked the door before standing back against it.

 _No, don't let it come out. Get control of yourself Buffy. It will pass._

The harder she tried to control herself, the more impossible it became. She couldn't keep the agony of Angel's loss from overwhelming her. She couldn't keep the rage and self-hatred from choking her.

Digging her fists into her eyes, she tried to hold it back. She tried to hold back her guilt and disillusionment. All these weeks she had been able to basically be a shell. She had been able to keep the majority of her emotions under close lock.

Now it was all disintegrating.

Angel. A sob rose out of her. Angel. He was gone. Oh God, he was gone. Another sob broke free from her lips. He was never coming back. He would never be able to walk her home. He would never be her confidant. He would never be her protector again.

More sobs unleashed themselves from her body. Pressing a hand tightly against her mouth, Buffy knew she had never felt any pain greater than what she was feeling now. Even when she realized that Angel was gone, she hadn't felt this intense agony. She hadn't let herself.

Now, her grief was pouring out of her. Her body shook from the overwhelming loss. Her love, her life, was gone. Never would he hold her gently and tell her that he loved her. Never would he make love to her again.

Unwillingly Buffy thought about what had happened in the cemetary. She remembered the feeling of rapture that Angelus was able to stir from her. Even though she thought he was Angel, that still didn't explain why he was able to arouse a tiny part of her again just by kissing her.

Buffy immediately became consummed by guilt and disgust. She never would have believed that she could feel anything but hatred and contempt for Angelus. To know that he was able to arouse her body, was a blow to everything that she had believed about herself. Her tears ran down her face as she thought of how the sacred memory of her first love-making experience now had a tainted edge.

She could not forget what had happened. Inexplicably the two memories had now become joined in her memory. If she thought of Angel with her, looming over her and arching into her, she now also thought of Angelus stroking her. Making her cum.

Even now, she could feel an invisible imprint on her body.

Gathering a hold of her emotions, Buffy was able to calm herself and resume her emotionless masquerade.

Looking on her bed, she saw a perfect red rose and a note. Walking over to it, she looked at it in confusion before picking up the note. In bold, masculine writing it said:

 _Sorry for getting you grounded.  
Try not to be too lonely. Until our next game darling.  
-A_

Shock hit her like a mighty fist. He had been out there. He had been that close to her. He had followed her. And she never even knew it. He had been inside her home. He had stayed and watched outside the window.

The window.

Rushing over to the window, Buffy ripped the frilly curtains open and looked outside. She didn't see him. Slowly closing them again, Buffy wondered if he had seen her cry. She hoped he hadn't. She couldn't let it happen again.

Any of it.

As she got ready for bed, she suddenly remembered to call Willow. Dialing the number Buffy clutched the phone and hoped she didn't get Willow in trouble for calling so late. The phone picked up on the first ring. "Hello?!"

"Hi Willow, it's me."

"Buffy! Are you okay?" her voice worriedly asked.

Wanly smiling the Slayer replied "I'm fine. Willow? I-I'm really tired. Can we talk tommorow?"

Even though she was bursting with questions, Willow just said "Um, sure. We'll talk tomorrow. 'Nite Buffy."

"'Nite Will." Putting the phone down, Buffy opened her dresser and pulled out some pajamas. Unzipping her dress, she warily looked towards the window before pulling her dress down. Blankly she realized that her panties were gone. She then remembered.

Feeling her flesh crawl with what surely must be disgust, she grabbed a robe and headed for her bathroom. She would stay under the nozzle until she washed every trace of the monster off of her.

Outside, Angelus watched Buffy leave the room. His eyes glittered with unfulfilled desire. Rubbing his thumb against his forefinger, he felt the soft cotton of Buffy's torn panties. Her scent wafted around him, like a heady perfume.

 _Soon my darling. Soon._

Angelus' lips curved into an angelic smile and he nimbly hopped down from the ledge and headed for home.


	9. Chapter 9

It was a bright and sunny day in a seemingly bright, happy Sunnydale. Buffy, Xander, and Willow were sitting outside on the campus lawn eating lunch and talking about everything except what was most on their minds.

Finally Willow turned to Buffy and asked "So, umm, how did it go last night?"

Knowing exactly what she was asking, Buffy drew up slightly and looked off towards the distance. "It went...fine."

"Just fine?" Willow gently prodded.

Swallowing the rest of his sandwich Xander bluntly asked "How high was the carnage? I mean did you just put a hole through his chest or did you do some major limb-hacking?"

Frowning at him Willow sternly said "Xander!" To this he just uncomprehendingly said "What?" Ignoring him Willow looked back at Buffy and clarified "Did it take a long time to..."

"Kill him?"

"Well...yes."

Taking a deep breath Buffy lightly said "I didn't" and waited for the explosion. It didn't take long. Both of her friends yelled simultaneously "What?!" This explosion of sound caused groups of students to turn in their direction and stare.

Seeing that people were looking at them, Xander lifted his hand up and said loudly "Hey! Nothing to see here! Move along people!" Focusing back at Buffy and, to his mind, her incredibly insane statement he asked "What do you mean you didn't?"

"Just what I said Xander. I didn't do it."

Blustering he asked "Why not?"

Getting up Buffy stated in an exasperated tone "Because I didn't! Okay? I didn't do it."

When she started to walk away, Xander boldly stepped in front of her. "Look Buffy: he's NOT Angel. You _have_ to do it."

Not wanting to get into an argument with him, Buffy warned "Xander move. Please."

Willow then stood up and tried to get between the two. "Xander, maybe now's not the time-"

"No Willow! Now is the perfect time! We've all been dancing around this for too long!" Running his hand through his hair Xander heaved an impatient sigh before getting right down to his point. "He's not Angel Buffy. Angel's _never_ coming back-"

"Xander, not now. Look, I really don't want to get into this with you right now. Later I'll explain-" _When I figure it out myself_ "-but not today."

Throwing his hands up into the air Xander fairly shouted "You know we're all really tired of this Buffy! You never want to face or deal with anything! You're always either backing down or running away! When are you going to get it? Angel's left town on permanent vacation. He's split this popsicle stand, alright?"

Buffy's thin reserve of patience finally broke. "You think I don't know that?! Well just in case you don't, let me tell you something: I _do_ know that. I know it far more than you can ever hope to know or understand!"

"B-Buffy-" was all Xander could sputter out. He wanted her to snap out of it, not snap out at _him_.

"I don't need you to stand there and smugly tell me that Angel's gone, because I _KNOW_! I don't need you to remind me that he's gone. I don't need you to remind me that he's _split this popsicle stand_ because I know! And I don't need you to tell me how or when to do my job _BECAUSE I KNOW_." Quickly looking at Willow's stricken face Buffy apologized, "I'm sorry Will," before pushing him aside and angrily striding away.

Buffy could hear them both calling her name but she never looked back. How could Xander tear into her like that? Couldn't he just try to imagine what she was going through? _Maybe he can't because you haven't let him in. You haven't let anyone in. How can they understand something that you haven't even bothered to explain?_ That was something to think about. Just not right now.

The rest of her day went by in a blur until all too soon it was time for Buffy to tell her mother goodnight as she went into her room. Knowing that her mother would check on her, Buffy laid in the bed with the covers pulled all the way up to her chin and forced herself to breathe in slow, even breaths.

After about thirty minutes, Joyce quietly opened the door, poked her head in, and then seeing that Buffy was _sleeping_ , closed the door just as quietly as she had opened it.

Buffy let ten more minutes go by before she crept out of her bed, careful not to make any noise. Pulling off her blue cotton nightshirt, she efficiently put on her patrol gear (T-shirt, close-fitting jacket, pants that allowed plenty of movement, and her good old trusty shoes with the non-skid soles), tucked in plenty of stakes, eased the window open, and lightly hopped from the roof to the ground below.

In less than seven minutes Buffy entered the cemetery to begin her round of vampire patrol. Senses completely alert to the presence of the unnatural she scanned the carefully manicured grounds for the slightest sign of either newly-risen vampires or seasoned pros.

It didn't take long before she heard the clamor of something clawing its' way out of the ground. Stealthily making her way further into the graveyard, Buffy pulled a stake out and held it in her fist tightly. _Shouldn't take long for this one. Probably not even going to take a fight._

Seeing a small, pale hand break free from the recently packed dirt Buffy boldly stood in front of the grave and waited. After several, laborious minutes a dark head broke free from the ground. Quickly the Slayer grabbed a fistful of hair, pulled the flailing body up, and then sent a stake through the female vampire's chest.

The sound of clapping pierced the night, causing Buffy to spin around and assume a defensive stance. Leaning against a tree stood a sinfully handsome Angelus. He was dressed in an open-necked black velvet long-sleeved shirt and black leather pants. "Hello lover. Didn't expect to see you tonight. Can't say I'm disappointed though" he sensually drawled.

A hostile glint in her eyes, Buffy simply replied "Angel."

Crossing his arms in front of him, Angelus allowed his eyes to rove over her form. The obvious dislike on her face amused him. At least now she wasn't trying to hide all of her emotions from him. Even though he could read them last night, it had tested all his skill at determining human emotions just to see past her mask.

The fact that her control had slipped a little was a good sign, at least from his point of view.

He couldn't completely tamp down the rush of lust he felt as he studied her. He had to admit to himself that she was exquisite. At least Angel had had the decency to love someone that was extremely attractive. Although, even if she had the beauty of a maggot, he still would have wanted her, just to spite Angel.

Adopting a mournful look on his face, he reproached her with "I don't appreciate what you just did Buff. Afterall, that was a child of my flesh. Now I'm going to be so lonely tonight."

"Ohh, you're breaking my heart Angelus. You know I _really_ care about how you feel...NOT!"

Pushing off the tree, Angelus walked towards Buffy until he was about twenty feet away from her. "Why all the hostility lover? I thought we made up real nice last night. Don't tell me that I didn't mean anything to you?! I thought we had something real special going."

Buffy hated him for bringing up what happened last night. It already sickened her to know that he had touched her. And since she had known that eventually he would bring it up (like in the first five minutes of conversation) she was prepared. "I'm going to have to take a page from your book Angel. It was like a dulcet chorus of birds...or whatever crap you said. It really meant about as much to me as it did to you."

Smirking he warned "Careful Buffy. I might take that as a complaint. On second thought, I _do_ take that as a complaint. I have been neglecting you haven't I? Well, except for last night and Buff? It meant the world to me...as I'm sure it did for you."

Easing off her stance, but keeping her reflexes on complete alert, Buffy faked a yawn. "Yada, yada, yada. Is that all you can DO Angel? I mean you go ON and ON about yourself as if you're some great lover-"

His mouth tightening with ill-concealed annoyance Angelus verbally attacked with "I seriously doubt that a virgin as yourself would know what makes a good lover...oh that's right! You're not a virgin anymore are you?"

Buffy didn't bother to answer, instead she acted as if she could barely keep her attention on him because what he had to say was so unimportant.

Which Angelus noticed, much to his growing annoyance.

Wanting to offend and shock her _delicate_ sensibilites Angelus rocked back on his heels, closed his eyes, and let a secretive smile twist his lips. "I took it from you, or at least my cock did. It could've been a better fuck, but after I came back-I loved looking down and seeing your blood smeared all over me."

"I gave _you_ nothing. I gave it all to Angel. Only to Angel." Buffy said this in a nonchalant tone of voice and her expression was one of extreme boredom.

"Yeah but it was this cock that was in you. This cock that tore through your precious gift of virginity. This cock that made you come. So, in a way, _I_ made you come. Once." Opening his eyes he proudly whispered "And then again last night."

Intently searching for any betrayal on her face or body that his words affected her, Angelus was disappointed to see a glimmer of amusement light her eyes.

"You really like believing that, don't you? You really like believing that you can hurt me or make me feel dirty by telling me this." Letting a tinkling laugh out, Buffy observed Angelus' increasing disbelief. "Don't you get it vamp? There's NOTHING you can say that can hurt me."

Hatefully he retaliated with "Lying is a sin you shouldn't indulge in Buff. You seem to be forgetting how you pitifully wore your heart on your sleeve the first time I lay eyes on you while I was in the flesh, so to speak."

Shrugging her shoulders Buffy casually stated "I thought you were Angel. What can I say? It won't and hasn't happened again."

"Oh I beg to differ lover. You see-you sound all tough and independant, and I must say you're doing a marvelous job at fooling most people, but I know differently. I know that deep down, way deep down, my very presence hurts you." Angelus' dark gaze snapped with triumph as he saw his statement hit and score.

Buffy's self-confidence was slightly shaken at the intuitiveness of his words. For a few brief seconds she felt raw and exposed. Hearing his smooth voice arrogantly promise "My _presence_ , my _thoughts_ , my _face_ will always hurt you Slayer" caused Buffy to draw herself in and attempt to bury all her emotions.

Angelus, seeing what she was doing, chided "Don't do that Buff. I like it when you're all emotional! You're so much fun! When you do that _I don't feel anything so you can't hurt me thing_..." Waving his hand in the air he disgustedly charged "It's boring!"

Listening to him she silently thought _Boring? Well we can't have that, can we?_ All of a sudden Buffy pulled and then threw a stake, catching Angelus in the very hand he was waving around. He looked up at his hand in astonishment before emitting a growl of pain.

Smiling with false cheer Buffy merrily asked "How's that for being so NOT boring? Or better yet, how's this?" Immediately she threw another stake, this time catching him in the thigh.

He just stood there for a few moments, before pulling both stakes out with a hiss of pain and then flung them away. Angelus looked at Buffy all the while with fierce emotion. But instead of the fury she expected, she saw admiration.

Admiration?

"My darling little Slayer, you have a penchant for torture! Knowing my history I'm sure you realize that I can only admire you for trying to inflict pain on me." Bringing up his wounded hand, he thoughtfully watched her while slowly licking the wound. "We've discovered a new side to you Buff. I think it's rather sexy, don't you?" Looking down at the ragged hole in his pants Angelus grimaced. "Damn! I really like this pair!"

Buffy stared at him with a growing sense of horror. She DID want to torture him. She had wanted to hurt him, severely, before...

Before what? Before staking him?

No. Without a doubt Buffy knew she wasn't ready to do that yet. That was why she had wanted to hurt him.

Since she couldn't kill Angelus, she had wanted to severely hurt him.

For being here

For taking Angel away from her.

For looking like Angel, sounding like Angel, but not being Angel.

"That's right babe. I know what you're thinking and I want you to know that I understand. Truly I do. I know that you want to hurt me, real bad, but you can't handle that about yourself. You don't want to believe that you, the Slayer, has a dark side."

Knowing that he was telling the truth, but wanting to deny it she firmly said "That's not true."

"We all don't want to believe it about ourselves when we first realize it. I was feeling what you're feeling now-a long time ago and for only like a split-second though." Lowering his voice dramatically he confided, "You know-with my demon tendencies and all." Amusement danced in his eyes as he gleefully admitted, "I know how hard it is to acknowledge that part of yourself." Crookedly grinning Angelus took his good hand and crossed his heart. "But I promise I won't tell. No one will ever need to know what _we_ know. No one will ever need to know that you and I share apart of each other that is the same."

Feeling her composure crack, Buffy shakily denied it. "No we don't! I'm nothing like you!"

Smirking Angelus turned his back on her and agilely hopped up and stood on a tombstone, despite the obvious pain in his thigh. "You can deny it to me, that's okay. Here's your chance to prove me wrong though Buff. You've got a clear, open shot of me."

Buffy stared at him, hating how he calmly stared back at her while waiting for her to make a move. "Come on Slayer...prove me wrong. Take the shot. Prove to me that you're not a sadist."

"I don't have to prove anything to you Angel!"

"No you don't, do you? But what you should want to prove is that you don't want to torture me. That you don't want to draw things out, because that would be rather sadistic don't you think? Not when you have a chance to end it all here. So come on-do it."

"Do you have a fucking death wish, is that it? Do you want to die, here, now? Do you want to become the ash that I wash out of my hair tonight so badly?"

"You sound a little desperate lover. I'd even say that you sound a little concerned. Would you miss me that much? Hmm?"

In a rare moment of thoughtlessness Buffy turned her back on him and ran away. She just didn't want to have to kill Angelus just in case Angel could somehow, no matter how slim of a chance, be brought back. That was all.

It WAS NOT because she felt a frightening kinship with him for a few moments. It WAS NOT because she would miss him. Hell, she hated him.

So why did she feel so uneasy? Why did she feel as if something had shifted in her world, something that she couldn't touch or see but that was different nevertheless?

All of a sudden she ran right into a solid wall of muscle. Falling back slightly she felt, cool strong hands grip her arms and steady her. Her hazel gaze locking with his dark one, Buffy felt vulnerable because she had become internally off-balanced.

Buffy also felt vulnerable because she sensed that Angelus also knew. At the moment her fear wasn't that he would physically kill her, but that because he had somehow gotten _in_ her, he could emotionally attack her in order to kill her.

Possibly even succeeding.

She was in more danger now thatn she had ever been around Angelus.

Watching her face go a little pale, Angelus felt a thrill shoot through him. She could have easily staked him through his heart a couple of minutes ago and there wouldn't been a damn thing he could do about it except kiss this world good-bye.

She didn't though and that told him a lot.

It told him that Buffy had sadistic tendencies and THAT made him want her for himself more than anything that she had done or been so far. It made him speculate if she also had masochistic tendencies as well. He hoped so. If he was a betting demon, he would have to bet the house that she did.

Afterall what girl, especially a vampire-slayer, would willingly romantically involve herself with a vampire? She HAD to be a masochist!

Angelus knew that he had touched something within her that she wasn't willing to face and that's why she ran. He had been tempted to let her go...

"Never turn your back on me darling. I'll always strike at you if you do." His beautiful mouth then swooped down on hers and devoured her in a kiss that lasted for several moments.

Buffy stood there in shock as Angelus' mouth mated with her. She had never been kissed like this before in her life. Angel's kisses had always been so considerate, so tender, so loving.

Angelus' kisses were so primal, so animalistic, so lustfilled! His kiss was like virtual sex of the mouths. She knew that she should not just stand there and allow any part of her to be touched like this, but she couldn't stop it.

She didn't want to.

Pulling back from Buffy, Angelus abruptly bit down on her lower lip, causing a tiny drop of blood to well up. "A little something to remember me by" was all he said before sauntering off into the night.

Bringing a trembling hand up to her mouth Buffy gently touched the drop of blood and looked at it with a strange sense of wonderment. It gleamed crimson despite the shadows of the night.

Her solitary drop of blood had a disturbing aura of beauty. It was of an unmatched color and just the sight of it caught and held her attention. Too much of it, was frightening and gave her the sense of being out of control.

But it was only one drop though.

And that's all it would take.

Just one drop of blood was enough to alert a predator to its victim.

Just one drop of blood was enough to cause a vampire to develop a ravenous appetite and almost always signed the death warrant of the nearest human.

Just one drop was all that he had given her. He hadn't tasted any of her blood, he had just given it to her.

Then why did she feel as if he had somehow gotten so much more from her?

Tearing her uneasy thoughts away from his stolen kiss, Buffy continued her patrol for another hour (three vampires found-three vampires dusted) before heading for home.

Agilely climbing through her window, Buffy's senses screamed at her that someone had been in her room. Quickly scanning the darkened corners she saw nothing and she felt that no one else was in the house beside herself and her mother, yet _someone_ had been here...

Then she suddenly knew.

Angelus had been here. His presence, his aura was now known to her. His vibe was so different than Angel's yet she now knew it as well as she had known her beloved's.

All because they had shared a kiss?

No, it was more than that. It was because for a few moments, she had _known_ what is was like to _be_ him. She had known what it was like to have no mercy, no pity, no compassion. She had known what it was like to want inflict pain for one's pleasure.

For her OWN pleasure.

Closing her eyes tightly, Buffy desperately wished she could erase it all. She wished she could destroy this new-found knowledge. She wished she could know that she would never be someone who had evil desires.

Strangely his access to her home didn't bother her as much as it should. Maybe it was because, right now she was more concerned with her own actions of this night than his.

Opening her eyes, Buffy knew that she had lost another piece of her innocence.

The innocence of thinking that she understood and knew herself to be the Chosen, therefore being beyond all darkness.

Instead, she had the bitter knowledge that she was not as pure and good as had always thought she was. Tonight she had walked and briefly crossed the fine line that separated the good from the evil.

She had played in a demon's playground.

Shedding her clothes, Buffy piled all of her patrol gear into her hamper and then put back on her blue nightgown. Reaching her bed, she pulled the covers back and saw something black underneath with a white note on top. Picking up the letter she recognized the script despite the darkness of her room.

 _'A momento to remember your first experience by.  
Afterall, it wouldn't be fair for me to keep this since you earned them.  
I can hardly wait to learn more about you my precious one.  
-A'_

Sitting on the bed Buffy didn't even realize that she put the note underneath her pillow. Touching Angelus' leather pants, her fingers searched and found the ragged hole in the thigh. Absently she stroked the soft material and thought of her enemy.

She never realized how her hand caressed the pants that so recently hugged every inch of his lower body. Getting up out of her bed, Buffy never thought of throwing the pants in the trash. Instead she placed them in a drawer under her own clothes.

The constant longing she had for Angel now had a different edge to it. She felt a strange sense of unknown destiny gnaw at her. She missed and needed Angel with a fierceness but now things were slightly different and that scared her. Lying back down, she forced herself to clear her mind so she could sleep.

Before she succumbed to her dreams she thought _Does Angelus still dream? Does he dream of me?_ not ever questioning why she would want him to dream of her.

Angelus did dream. He dreamt in dark, compelling colors. He dreamt of burgandy, midnight, and crimson.

With splashes of gold.

Golden skin. Golden hair.

A golden soul that became slightly penetrated by his world but never tarnished.

He dreamt deeply and his every sense throbbed with anticipation of catching more than just a glimpse of the gold in all the darkness.

 _After he had left Buffy's momento on her bed, he couldn't resist looking at the Slayer's room. The girlishness of her domain should have nauseated him, but it didn't. It just gave him another insight to Buffy, at least that's how he saw it._

 _He tried to picture his body in this room, sleeping on the floor, as Angel did the year before._

 _Instead all he could picture was his body on the bed with the tiny Slayer sprawled beneath him as he pounded her into the mattress._

 _He looked at the posters on the wall and the books on her shelf, trying to picture Buffy as the child who picked those things out. He picked up the stuffed pig that she named "Mr. Gordo" and looked at it for a few seconds before placing it back on the nightstand._

 _He tried to formulate some plan of attack against the Slayer as he studied her things. Instead he began wondering where a certain thing in the room was purchased, why did she still have that broken toy on her bookshelf, and how old was she when she won the ribbon that was hanging off the wall._

 _Opening the door to her closet, he pulled out a few dresses and looked at them before putting them back in. He did the same with her pants and shirts. They all smelled of purity and innocence-except one._

 _His eyes narrowed in anger. Who the hell has she been fucking? When he found out they would both die._

 _Holding the offending garment he carefully smelled it, searching and determining the faded odor of sex. Sure enough, he could smell two distinct scents: Buffy's and his own. Relaxing, Angelus mentally corrected himself._

 _It wasn't exactly his own._

 _It was Angel's._

 _She must have been wearing this the night Angel left and he came back._

 _Hanging up the outfit, Angelus felt a disturbance that had everything to do with the green-eyed monster. It sickened him that he felt so intensely jealous of Angel about that experience. No matter how much it nauseated him, he couldn't deny that he wanted Buffy very much. He wanted to fuck her._

 _Not just once or twice._

 _He wanted to screw her in every way known to man and demon. Then he would kill her. After a farewell fuck, he would sink his fangs into her and send her into the next world._

 _The question was just how would he seduce her?_

 _He seriously doubted Buffy would be willing to just spread her legs for him every night until he tired of her. Angelus needed to insinuate himself into her mind and her very being, but how?_

 _Sitting on her bed he took everything he knew about the Slayer and mentally came up with one plan after another before discarding each one. After several minutes of no success, he stopped his brainstorming. No matter, he would come up with one soon enough._

 _Deciding it was time to leave Angelus took one last look at her bed and promised himself that he_ _ **would**_ _have her in that bed several times._

 _Maybe he'd even kill her in her own bed and leave her there to be found with his cum leaking out of her and his bloody signature scrawled on her body._

 _Smiling Angelus liked that plan very much. It wouldn't be the first time he had done such a thing, but it would be his first Slayer._

 _Once he got back to the factory, he had proceeded to fuck every female vampire that was a brunette. Of those he had several and of course he saved Druscilla for last, much to Spike's animosity. He always saved Dru for last because he knew that as the hours passed Spike would be left to wonder Is he going to take her tonight?_

 _Which he would not only for old times sake, but if anything, just to piss Spike off._

 _As he had pounded into each faceless female, one face kept coming to his mind. The Slayer's. All he could think of was her flushed, beautiful face gasping as he pleasured her. The way she had whimpered and shyly thrust against his hand burned itself into his mind._

 _Each time the memory faded, even slightly, he would immediately summon back the image of her coming and calling his name._

 _Then he would remember that it wasn't his name that she called. It was ANGEL not ANGELUS. This would unreasonably anger him so that he inflicted his fury upon whatever brunette was beneath him or over him or kneeling in front of him._

 _Never would he have sex with a blond. The only blond that he wanted was Buffy Summers._

 _He swore to himself that he would make it that she would come to him whenever and however he wanted her. Her every thought, her every breath, her every desire would be for his pleasure._

 _Even if she didn't yet realize how she would soon come to crave him as much as he already craved her._

So he dreamt and when he finally was able to hold her image long enough, he felt peace.

When she beckoned to him, he followed.

When she seductively shed her clothes and awaited him, he felt a strange giddiness.

When he entered her, he never wanted to leave her warm haven.

When she called out HIS name, he felt complete.

When he felt the sharp prick in his neck, he could only stare at the smiling vampiress underneath him that was Buffy Summers.

When he felt himself drain away, he could only wonder: how was it that _he_ had become the victim?

Abruptly waking himself, Angelus felt a strange chill of foreboding. Shaking it off he laid back down looking next to him to see Dru?, no it was a nameless female. He couldn't even remember summonly this one back. Rudely he shook her awake and bitingly told her to get out of his bed. Settling back down to his slumber Angelus reassured himself that it was just a dream.

Dreams never held any truth in them, did they?


	10. Chapter 10

"So you're finally off from being grounded?" Willow and Buffy were walking home from school. Xander had detention for, not surpringly, mouthing off at his phys ed coach. The two girls were going to wait with him in detention hall, but the same phys ed coach saw them and promptly kicked them out.

"Yeah, Mom decided to cut my punishment short since I was being so _good_. If only she knew how _good_ I was being she'd never let me out of the house again."

"Buffy do you think you'll ever let her know what's going on? I mean, she is your mom. Shouldn't she be the first to know?"

Nodding her head Buffy answered "I think it about alot. Well, really everyday. I want to tell her, but..." she trailed off uncertainly.

"You don't think she'll understand?"

"After she got past the part of thinking that I was delusional and in need of professional help, I know she would never feel any safety or security. I don't want to do that to her."

Turning around the corner into the neighborhood, Willow said "But you're the Slayer! That by definition means safety and security."

Correcting her, Buffy gently said "For everyone else Will, as long as I do my job, but not for me. Every time I walk out the door she'll worry if I'm coming back, and I can't promise her that I will. I don't want to do that to her."

Sighing Willow gloomily said "I see your point" as they reached Buffy's house. Walking up the sidewalk and into the house Willow wondered how to approach the subject of the major fight between Xander and Buffy. Even though the next day they all acted as if nothing had happened, there was a subtle tension.

But most importantly, how would she bring up the subject of Angel? She thinking about him gave her the creeps, much less talking out loud about him. Angel was a subject that Buffy would always skirt around and that could not be healthy! Willow didn't look forward to having 'the talk' as she and Xander termed it, but she HAD to do it. Buffy was one of her best friends, the only girlfriend she had, and Buffy needed her right now. Willow would just have to pull her backbone a little straighter.

Putting her bookbag down on the couch Willow sat down and waited for Buffy to come back from the kitchen. Deciding to make small talk she asked "So where's your Mom?"

Calling from the kitchen Buffy replied "She's out of town. On another business trip or something. She's not coming back until tomorrow."

While hearing her Willow was only half-way listening. Giving 'the talk' more thought she came up with the conclusion that she was just going to have to attack it like she would attack anything else. Well, maybe not quite since people and mathematical equations were different, but attack she would!

"Earth to Willow. Willow?"

Snapping her attention back, Willow looked up and saw Buffy's head poking around the corner. "Uh? What?"

"I only have Coke or juice. Which do you want?"

"Oh...um, Coke please." Caffeine would be a good attack booster. Now, how would she start off? Since it was a delicate situation subtleness would be best...

Giving Willow her drink Buffy plopped down ont he couch next to her and kicked off her shoes. "Why the serious look? Are you thinking about another one of those math puzzles in Scientific America?" she jokingly asked.

"No! Not quite..." Putting her drink down on the coffee table, Willow turned to Buffy and thought _Okay, serenity and subtleness here._ Instead she just blurted out "What's happening to us Buffy? You and Xander had this big fight and w-we just aren't talking anymore! I mean we talk but we don't _talk_."

Buffy never had a chance to respond because Willow plowed on with the serenity of a caffeine-induced, hyper-active toddler. "And Angel! My God Buffy, he's just...just hanging out here, waiting to strangle us in our beds and you act like he doesn't exist! You won't ever bring up his name and if one of us DOES, you find a reason to leave the room!"

"Okay...math problems are definitely not on your mind." Sitting up a little straighter, she wondered exactly how much to say. She knew what to say about the fight with Xander, but what could she say about Angel?

Every night for almost a week since her first night of grounding, he had usually met her at the cemetery. Once she was cutting through the park and he attacked her by tackling her to the ground, but every other time had been at the cemetery.

Each time they fought intensely, verbally and physically. It was the emotional fight within herself that left her feeling a little more drained each time she saw Angelus. Buffy could no longer lie to herself that his presence didn't hurt her. Each time that she saw him felt as if her heart's wounds were being ripped open again.

Even though she could hide the majority of what she was feeling on the inside, he could still see her pain and openly enjoyed every bit of it. He constantly baited her and she found it harder and harder to remain untouched by his cruel words.

When they physically fought, they fought intensely but surprisingly neither attempted to deliver a killing blow to the other.

Buffy could not explain to herself why she never went for the fatal blow, even when the rare opportunity appeared. It was her job for christsakes! Regardless, she never would. She punched him, kicked him, threw him, but she never would try to stake him.

Angelus himself never tried to go for her neck and though he never tried to kill her, he certainly did not go easy on her. For every blow that she connected with his body, he had one to match it. At the end of each bout her body felt as if were covered in bruises from head to toe.

Each night he would abruptly pull back from their skirmish, toss a few arrogant words at her, and then disappear. She would continue her patrol, kill several vampires, half-expecting him to attack her along with the vampire(s) she was fighting. She never knew if he was truly gone or just lurking in the shadows waiting for one slip-up so he come in and end it all for her.

After their fights though, she never saw him. It wasn't until later that she realized that he was never far away, and he was always watching.

After patrol was done and she went home, she would find a note and a momento of some sort on her bed. After the first two nights of receiving his gifts, Buffy had asked Giles for some background information on his habits. Immediately the Watcher worriedly asked "Has Angelus been leaving you things? Has he started stalking you Buffy?"

Instead of telling the truth she had replied that she just wanted to study up on him. Giles had looked at her strangely for a few seconds. It took incredible force of will for her to not fidget beneath his probing look. Just when she knew that she had been caught in her bold-faced lie, he went into his office and brought back an ancient looking tome at least six inches thick.

Scanning through all the detailed entries of Angelus' habits, Buffy had immediately realized that he had changed his M.O. since the last time he walked on Earth. All the things that he had left for her had in no way been gruesome or involving pain at the sake of a living creature.

There had been no severed servant's head, not that she had one-but the fact was that there had been no head, or any other body part, nor had there been any dead animals left in a prettily wrapped box or anything else equally horrific.

Instead there had been a mixed-bouquet of thiry-nine deep violet flowers the night after her 'trophy' gift of leather pants. The note stated :

 _One for each delicious touch of your fist on my body.  
I'll wear each mark with pride.  
-A_

The next night she had found a pair of sapphire studded hair pins with his note of

 _I seemed to have torn out your rubberband during our fight.  
I thought these would do you better justice than a piece of plastic.  
-A_

The night after that she had received a beautiful crystal bowl filled with strawberries and cream. His note had only one sentence:

 _I wanted you to know how you look and taste to me.  
-A_

That particular note brought an inexplicable mix of revulsion and temptation. They hadn't touched in any way since the night he kissed her, other than their punches and kicks. By him mentioning how she tasted it briefly made her want to taste HIM again to see if he was still as good as her perverse memory made him to be.

Her next gift was an antique-silver cross on a choker instead of a chain. The scrawled note simply said

 _Added protection against those who would do you harm.  
-A_

That was also the night that a vamp almost got the chance to taste Slayer blood straight from the source.

It had been shortly after her sparring match with Angelus. She had been walking by a grouping of crumbling mausoleums when a vampire landed on her seemingly straight from the sky. In fact, he jumped off the roof of a crypt to land squarely on her.

Before she could get her bearings she felt his head come down to feed off of her. Buffy had tried to buck him off but he was firmly in the mindset of NOT getting off. Just when she felt the incredibly sharp tips of his fangs, he suddenly scrambled off her and ran away.

Puzzled by his retreat yet eternally grateful Buffy finished the rest of her patrol, mindful of the air above her. After getting his choker and note she had felt the strangest chill take hold of her body. He had been watching her this entire time. He had seen every movement she made, for all she knew he was still watching her. Even though she was exhausted, it took Buffy several hours to fall into fitful sleep in the pre-dawn hours.

The next night she had found a tube of her lipstick and a midnight-blue silk lipstick case with a small ruby clasp.

 _You dropped this after our assignation.  
I thought you might want it back so here's a little something to keep it in.  
Darling you should learn to care for your possessions as carefully as I do mine.  
No matter, I'll show you what I mean.  
-A_

What could she tell Willow? She deserved an answer but how much of one? Looking at her friend's worried countenance, Buffy said "Even though Xander and I got into a fight, I still see him as one of my best friends. I still love him as much as I love you. It was hard to hear what had he had to say, but if that's how he feels then-I have to respect that."

"I'm happy to hear that Buffy but-"

Not wanting her to say what Buffy knew she was going to say she rushed on with "I know we don't talk like we used to, but I'm just going through a trippy time right now."

"Buffy trippy is an understatement."

"Okay I'm going through a time that is trippy to the tenth power, but I...I won't be like this forever."

Reaching over Willow laid her hand on Buffy's and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Gently she asked "But what about Angel?"

Disappointed that Willow didn't fall for her blatant sidestepping of that issue, Buffy knew there was no hope for it. "Angel..." _Okay talk to her Buffy! Tell her what's been going on!_ Seeing Willow expectantly waiting Buffy opened her mouth to explain the events of the past week, but nothing came out.

"Angel..." Willow politely prodded.

"Yeah Angel. Angel has-" Suddenly Buffy bolted from the couch and stood on the other side of the room. She couldn't tell Willow the truth.

She couldn't tell her how she was beginning to look forward to seeing Angelus each night. She couldn't tell her how even though it hurt her with every fiber of her being, even though she tried not to show it, she still would rather see Angelus than not see him at all.

She couldn't tell Willow how she began taking pleasure in hurting him physically. It was sounded too sick in her own mind much less how sick it would be if she spoke out loud.

She couldn't tell her that she began to feel a stir of excitement each night that she crept through her window to see what he left for her. She couldn't tell her that she wore the hair pins and the choker while she ate her strawberries and looked at the fading violet flowers, all the while wondering if he were watching her. All the while feeling a inexplicable pull to the killer masquerading as Angel.

She couldn't understand how and why she was being drawn to him _herself_ so how could she even begin to explain it to Willow? My God he's a demon and she never forgot yet strangely at the same time she did. It didn't make any sense.

And somehow it made perfect sense to Angelus. Maddenly he seemed to know exactly what she was feeling. His insiduous comments and knowing grins were becoming more and more frequent each night.

Dammit when did she become so whiney and indecisive? Why did she feel as if she didn't know what the fuck was happening to her? Granted she _didn't_ know, but since when did she feel so out of control of the situation?

Buffy felt disgusted with herself. Willow and Xander were only trying to help her yet she kept on pushing them away. Willow was right, things were different between them now and it was because of her. Of all the people in the world these two should be the ones she could tell anything to, so why didn't she?

Looking back at her friend Buffy tried to speak again. Before she could say anything Willow stood up and grabbed her bookbag. Walking to stand next to Buffy she quietly said "Buffy I won't try to force anything out of you. Even though I've never gone through what you're going through, I can tell you this: holding it in won't help anybody but it _will_ end up hurting everybody."

"Willow..." Buffy held out her hand in supplication. "I'm sorry that I'm hurting you. I don't mean to, please believe me, but I-I just can't talk about it right now. It just hurts too much."

Jerkily nodding her head Willow replied "I know. I know that you don't mean to hurt anybody, but it HURTS to feel like you don't trust us anymore. Just let me ask you this: if he tries to come after one of us, will you be able to stop him?"

Buffy's face paled as she allowed the question to sink in. She didn't want to believe that nay of her loved ones were in danger, but she knew that was like living in a fool's paradise. It was what Angelus did: stalking, tormenting, and killing everyone around his victim.

Since the victim of the month was most likely her, everyone that she cared about would be the first to fall to him. She had allowed herself to forget that in the past week. Now she needed to remember that Angelus was simply Angelus. Not Angel being a sexy, misunderstood bad boy, but a sadistic manipulator who got his kicks off of other's misery.

Firmly Buffy replied "Angel will _never_ get the chance to hurt any of you. I promise."

Seeing the sincereness in her best friend's face, Willow felt slightly ashamed for ever doubting Buffy. "I believe you." Feeling the need to alleviate the seriousness of the moment she said "Okay, quick change of subject. Do you want to celebrate your first night of freedom at the Bronze? Just us, like a girls' night out thing."

Relievedly smiling Buffy brightly said "Sounds good. What time?"

"Probably after dinner. Maybe around seven?"

Walking Willow to the door Buffy agreed. "Okay, seven it is. Do you want me to walk you home?"

Opening the front door, Willow shook her head and said "I'm a big girl. When I need to attack, I do. Though I don't see a need to attack on my way home, but believe me, I can do it!"

Slightly shaking her head at her friend's unclear logic, Buffy just said "Oh okay. Well be on your way big girl and call me."

Waving her hand Willow yelled over her shoulder "I'll call after dinner! Bye!"

Closing the door Buffy spritely climbed up the stairs, went into her room and opened up her closet. Rifling through her clothes, she mentally rejected each thing until her hand pulled out a dress she had never worn before. A smile twisting her full lips she thought _This is definitely what I'm going to wear tonight._

Never once did she give thought that she was again avoiding the situation about Angel. She never once thought of it as a delaying tactic. She only thought of it as a much needed night out. One that she deserved.

That was only partially the truth.

Right before she was all set to go, Buffy got a call from Willow telling her that she couldn't go out that night because her parents wanted to have a heart-to-heart chat about the dangers of peer-pressure. "I mean, I've only been a teen-ager for about four years and _tonight_ they want to talk?" Willow disgustedly huffed.

"Sounds like fun, wish I could be there."

"Yeah right! Oh Buffy, does this mean that I'm ruining your night?"

"Nah! I'll just have to go solo tonight."

"Are you sure you won't feel weird? You know, going stag?"

"I'll be fine. Tonight will be as good a time as any to let my hair down and have a normal teenager's night."

"So you won't be patrolling?"

"Giles will probably have a major lecture ready for me tomorrow, but no. I think I'll skip it tonight."

"Oh, hold on Buffy." Willow could be heard yelling "I'm coming!" before getting back on the phone and regrettfully saying "I gotta go Buffy. Have a good time for me too, okay?"

"No problem. I'll even have a good time for Xander too."

"Hey, maybe you can call him up and ask him to go too."

"No, I'll be fine. Besides, I think I need a little Buffy-time to myself. I'll talk to you later Willow." As an afterthought Buffy sweetly said "Have fun!"

"Oooh, it'll be a blast I'm sure. 'Now Honey, I want to talk to you about these things called drugs...' How have I managed to be half-way sane?"

Laughing she assured Willow with "Even if you're just half-way sane, that's alot better than most of us. Bye!"

Hanging up the phone Buffy took a last look at herself in the mirror. Her hair brushed her shoulders and soft curls framed her expectant face. She had applied her make-up with a light hand, prefering the natural look tonight except for her glossy dark red lips. Normally she always wore pink or plum lipstick but tonight she wanted to be more...daring. Yes, daring was definitely what she was wanting to feel tonight.

With the dress she had on Buffy felt daring to the extreme. It came to mid-thigh, exposing plenty of her tanned, luscious legs but not too much. The bodice was made of black velvet with thin spaghetti-straps made of the same material resting on her bare shoulders. The rest of the dress was a dark crimson with an overlay of beautiful black lace. To complete the outfit she wore black velvet strappy high heels that gave her the illusion of never-ending legs.

Buffy had to admit to herself without conceit that she looked _good_.

It was such a warm night that she didn't need to wear a coat, which suited her just fine. Buffy picked up the phone to call a cab since her mom was gone and she didn't feel like walking all the way to the Bronze in her new shoes.

Her cab took all of five minutes to pull up in front of her house and blare its' horn impatiently. What could you say about a One-Starbucks Town? It would probably take longer for her to walk to the cab than it would to get to the Bronze.

Once she stepped through the doors of the club, Buffy felt the music call to her. Perhaps it was the determined look of gaiety on her face or the fact that she was by herself, but that night Buffy did not have a lack of dance partners. For hours she danced and danced, feeling a little bit of the weight ease off her weary shoulders.

There was no Angel.

There was no Angelus.

There was no Slayer.

There was just plain old Buffy Summers teenager extrordinaire.

Finally midnight approached and the boy she was with asked her if she wanted him to walk her home. Feeling happy and carefree Buffy agreed. She didn't know him, would probably never talk to him again, but she felt no apprehension.

They walked out of the club and somewhere down Main Street the handsome, blond grabbed her hand and held it in his. Buffy didn't mind since it felt nice to hold someone's hand again. As they lightly chatted, he confirmed her speculation that he was a college kid and a pretty nice guy.

He really was cute, in an all-american boy kind of way, but cute nonetheless. Although he was nowhere near as attractive as Angel.

Angel, the demon with the face and body of a fallen angel.

Just the thought of him stirred up her new-found sense of desire for him; no matter how wrong it was, Buffy still felt it. Her mild interest in Jeff (was that his name?) vanished as abruptly as it began.

All of a sudden as if she had magically summoned him, Angel stepped out of an alley and stood on the sidewalk several yards in front of them. His beautiful dark eyes burned with an unholy fury. Before she could utter a word, he purposely stalked towards her but instead of striking her as he appeared he would, Angel menacingly ordered Mr. All-American "Let go of her hand _NOW_ boy."

Immediately the 'boy' dropped her hand and sputtered "Look, I-I don't want any trouble-"

"Then you shouldn't have touched what is _mine_."

Seeing the savagery in Angelus' face Buffy tried to draw his attention to her. "Angel-"

Skewering her with the full fury of his rage, Angelus growled "Shut-up! That's not MY name." Giving her a look of disgust he promised "I'll deal with you later." He then picked up his rival by the throat and flung him against a whitewashed brick wall, coldly smiling with satisfaction at the small smear of blood that streaked the dusty surface.

In less than two strides Angelus reached the crumpled, shocked boy. "Before you die, tell me something: you thought she was an easy lay, didn't you?"

Wildly shaking his head back and forth he croaked out "No! No!"

Evilly smiling Angelus craftily asked "But you did think about it, didn't you?" Seeing the denial about to spew from the boy's lips, Angelus brought back his foot and solidly kicked the offending groin. Dispassionately he watched the previously pale face turn a deep violet while his rival's mouth opened and closed repeatedly without any sounds coming out. "Liar! I _know_ you had her in your mind at least eight different ways!"

Buffy grabbed his arm and tried to pull him away from his prey, but Angelus merely shrugged her off. When he felt her punch his back, he quickly turned around, caught her fist, and pulled her body to his. Leaning down until his face was less than an inch from hers he spat "You little whore! You wear a dress that shows off your tits and ass to the whole fucking world, leaves every pup with a massive boner, knowing that your GODDAMNED body belongs to me, and now you're trying to stop me from hurting this shit?"

Narrowing her eyes in outrage Buffy firmly stated "I don't belong to you Angelus. I belonged to Angel."

"Angel. Angelus. We're one in the same babe. What's his is mine and what's mine stays mine. If you didn't want this to happen, then you shouldn't have teased us both. You shouldn't have teased him with what he could never have and you should NOT have teased me with HIM."

His hand teasingly traced the line of her hip before he flung her to the ground. Turning to the soon-to-be dead male, Angelus saw that he had gotten up and was hobbling down the street. Grimly smiling Angelus caught him easily, avidly listening to the babbled pleas of "I swear I didn't know she had a boyfriend! If I knew I wouldn't have touched her!"

"You may have not touched her, but you still would have wanted her. Yes, yes you would have. You still do boy. I bet you're wondering what kind of snatch she must have to cause me to want to kill you." Pulling back his fist Angelus let it fly into the left side of Mr. All-American's chest. The poor kid howled with agony as four of his ribs simultaneously broke.

Holding him up with one hand Angelus smirked with unabashed delight. "I'll let you know something: her pussy is worth killing for. Too bad you'll never know it. Hell come to think of it, you'll never get to fuck anyone, will you?"

The blond's cry of terror soon turned into a strangled choke when Angelus let his fist fly into his face, breaking Jeff's nose and knocking out three of his teeth. Maniacally laughing Angelus said "I should let you live just to see how you'll scare the pretty girls, and most likely the ugly girls, with your new look." Abruptly stopping he softly stated "I should but I won't. Goodbye pup."

Right before he could morph he felt a fierce blow to his arm, causing it to become momentarily numb. The numbness caused him to drop the human who deserved to be roasted over the slowest burning pit in hell.

Buffy rapidly delivered a series of blows to Angelus' enraged body, driving him back about twenty feet. When he didn't attack back, Buffy warily stopped and glared at him. "Go away Angel. You made your point you ass! Leave him alone and deal with me."

When he didn't say a word and just stood there watching her with slitted eyes, she turned towards an unconscious Jeff. Getting on her knees next to him, Buffy wanted to see just how severe his injuries were.

From the time that Angelus pushed her down and now could only have been less than a minute but it seemed like it must have been hours for him to be able to inflict the damage on Jeff's body.

Buffy felt terrible guilt. He had only wanted to walk her home because as he had said _You never know what kind of people are out there that might want to hurt a girl who's by herself._ Why didn't she say _No, I'll be fine_? She would have been fine. He would have been fine. Now he would need emergency care, just because he wanted to be a concerned citizen.

Reaching out a hand to his battered face, she never got a chance to touch him. Angelus yanked her up and away from Jeff. "I have to see how badly hurt he is!"

"He's fine" was the emotionless answer.

"But you can't expect me to just leave him here. I won't leave him here! Stop it! You had no right to hurt him! If you wanted to fight, then you should have fought me! He had nothing to do with us!"

Gripping her tightly by the arm Angelus pulled her along and forced her to try to keep up with his long-legged stride. Staring straight ahead he calmly said "I beg to differ lover. He has everything to do with **us**. I waited for our nightly exercise for hours and you never showed. I went to your house and all the lights were out. I even went over to your little friends' houses and what do I find? No Buffy. On a whim, I come here and what do I see? I see you walking hand in hand with your date. So don't tell me he has nothing to do us. He has EVERYTHING TO DO WITH US!" The end of his lengthy tirade ended in a roar as Buffy finally forced him to stop.

"I don't owe you any explanations Angel. We're enemies remember? We don't date, we aren't a couple, we don't even pass as friends." Pulling against him Buffy muttered "I can't believe I'm having this conversation." Brittlely she ordered "Let go of me."

Without releasing his grip Angelus merely said "No" and once again resumed his determined stride. When she continued to struggle he impatiently snarled "You can walk on your own two feet or I can sling you over my shoulder, got it?"

Buffy could NOT believe what was happening. Angelus was in such a jealous demon-driven rage; he acted as if he had caught her cheating on him. Even though she didn't want to admit it to herself Buffy felt a frisson of fear.

"Well? Which will it be?"

Annoyed with herself for feeling fear she shook off his hold. "Neither. I'm going home and you can go...to wherever it is that you go." Buffy boldly tipped her head back and stared him right in the eye, daring him to dispute her.

Coming down from his bloodthirsty rage Angelus could see Buffy had no intention of docilely accompanying him to-where the hell WAS he taking her? He didn't even know. All he could do was listen to the primitive instincts that ordered him to prove to her that she belonged to _HIM_.

In the most basic way between the male and female animal.

Earlier in the night he had waited at the cemetery, at the usual time and at the usual place. Time crept by on sluggish legs and she still hadn't showed. Buffy was never late so he wondered if perhaps she was engaged in battle elsewhere.

Hurrying through the streets he saw no sign of her or that a fight had taken place. Heading to her quaint house he saw that all the lights were out and her mother's car was gone. His first thought was that she left Sunnydale during the day to escape him.

That wouldn't be the first time a pretty girl had tried to escape is attentions. He ALWAYS found them though. He ALWAYS punished them severely, usually fatally.

If Buffy had left him he would hunt her down to the remotest ends of the Earth, but he wouldn't give her the mercy of ending her existence quickly. No, he would draw her life out painfully. He would have her bound and chained to his bed where he would rape and abuse her endlessly until he tired of her agony.

Agitated he hopped up to the roof and eased her bedroom window open. Climbing in he looked to see if any of her things were missing. Jerking her dresser drawers open he saw everything as is should be. Flinging the closet door open he saw that all of her clothes were still there, except one dress.

The same sinfully seductive dress that she was now wearing.

At the time he didn't give it much significance. On silent feet Angelus tread to her mother's room. Taking in the room with one glance, he saw a perfectly ordered room. Nothing indicated a panicked flight out of town. Opening up Joyce's closet he noticed that some of her clothes were missing, but nothing out of the ordinary _if_ she was on one of her usually trips.

Not yet satisfied Angelus went downstairs and looked in the kitchen. He saw two cups in the sink and immediately detected Buffy's scent on one of the cups. The other cup belonged to...Willow? Yes, it was definitely Willow's.

Maybe Buffy had gone over to Willow's. She must have gone over to the Rosenbergs. Going out the kitchen door, Angelus noticed that the door was left unlocked. _For a Slayer, she's pretty sloppy with allowing anyone to just waltz in here_ he distractedly thought to himself as he locked the door behind him.

Quickly reaching Willow's home Angelus could already feel that she was not here. Wanting to make sure he crept to the side of the house and peered through the red-head's window.

Through the filmy curtains he could see Wllow sitting cross-legged on her bed and talking animatedly on the phone. Focusing his heightened sense of hearing, Angelus zoomed in when he heard Buffy's name. "I know! I know! I talked to her today but she wouldn't open up! Well, what should I do? Threaten a Slayer with the threat of my oh-so-powerful fists?"

"Xander-"

"Yeah right! You can't be serious!"

"You really think that will happen?"

"Buffy's just going to drop the love of her life, forgetting all about him, and move on to you? Xander..."

Not paying attention to the sarcasm in her voice Angelus only heard "Buffy" and "moving on to Xander". That bitch would drop HIM for that annoying insect? An uncontrollable burst of fury flared, causing Angelus to rip the five foot hedge he was crouching behind straight out of the ground and fling it across the yard.

"What was that? Hold on Xander-" Willow had warily walked to her window to look outside but she didn't see anyone. Angelus had already left for Xander's before the hapless hedge hit the ground.

Within a span of a minute he had arrived at the Harris' fully ready to kill every occupant of the house if Buffy was there. Just as he had at Willow's, he immediately sensed that she was not there. Not even bothering to look through the windows, Angelus began to feel something that was akin to worry.

He did not want anything to happen to his Slayer just yet. Afterall, he hadn't yet fully tasted and enjoyed her. And he certainly did not want anyone else to take what was rightfully his kill.

If by the slim chance a demon or roving vampire had taken his Buffy, no torment that he would inflict on the bastard would be enough. That was an oath he would fulfill no matter how long it took.

Only because he had claimed her as _his_ victim.

Walking the streets Angelus felt completely stumped. Where was she? She never went anywhere without the girl and the boy-both of them were at home. The mall was closed, all the restaurants were closed, she didn't seem like the type to go to Willie's, so where in this wretched town was she?

The only place that was still open was the Bronze, but she never went alone. Remembering the missing dress Angelus realized it wasn't one of her school dresses. Immediately he headed towards the club.

When he had gotten two blocks away, he could _feel_ her. Before he could acknowledge the strange relief he felt, the smell of blatant male arousal hit him like a crowbar.

The smell was directly linked to the scent of his woman.

Holding back a growl of beastial rage Angelus walked faster until he was half a block away. Ducking into an alley he waited until he could hear their steps echoing in silence. Originally he had planned to wait until they passed him so he could attack from behind, but then he caught a whiff of something that sent him from the alley.

The whiff was the sudden flare of feminine arousal.

It hadn't been evident before but it was now. Buffy had the beginnings of sexual arousal and it sure as all hell wasn't because of him.

At least that's what he thought. Little did he know that the scent he caught only started because she thought of HIM in comparison of Mr. All-American.

Now she was defiantly staring at him as if he were a cockroach that had just crawled over her dainty foot. That seriously pissed him off. Gathering a hold of his turbulent emotions Angelus adopted a mask of boredom. He had to remain firmly in control of the situations,something that he had not been when he used the unconscious boy as a living punching bag.

The past week had been very productive and he could not afford to blow all the progress he had made just because of his jealously. Buffy's defenses had cracked the tiniest bit during his week of courtship. He knew that it was becoming harder for her to see him in the strictest terms of good and evil, black and white. By not 'living' up to her expectations of what he had been (and still was), he knew that the lines were becoming blurred.

He had entered into shades of gray and brought her along with him.

She was beginning to question herself, her beliefs, her very understanding of what constituted evil.

Before little did she know that evil exists in every creature, in some form and capacity. There is no changing that fact, any other belief is just a desperate yet impossible call for divinity.

But she was seeing it now...and all because of him.

Her lover, posing as a demon-posing as a lover.

Angelus had seen her sitting in her quiet, lonely room thinking her quiet, lonely thoughts and all the while staring at his bouquet. He had seen the obvious questions in her face 'Should I keep them? Should I throw them away?' He had seen her finally put his flowers in a large, glass pitcher on top of her mirrored dresser.

He could only allow the sweet satisfaction of his first, yet oh-so-important victory to reflect in his gaze.

He had seen her looking between her image in the mirror and the hair pins, softly chewing on her bottom lip as she silently questioned herself. Finally she hesitatingly gathered her loose hair and secured them with his gift. He had seen her trying to smother the bit feminine joy at the beauty of his pins in her hair.

He could only smile at her tiny bit of vanity.

He had seen her eyes widen as she had read his boldest note yet. He had seen her gaze dart between the words on the paper and his bowl of her fruit. He had seen her creep in the kitchen, so as not to disturb her sleeping mother, and stand there indecisively. Finally she opened the refridgerator door, taking another furtive look at the strawberries. He had seen the brief speculative gleam in her eyes before she had firmly buried it.

He could only softly laugh at the shocked yet hungered look on her face.

He had seen the wondered look of admiration on her etheral face as she held up the choker. It was over three hundred years old (bought a little over a century ago in Naples during one of his moments of odd humor) and the quality of craftsmanship could never be duplicated in this age.

In a word: priceless.

She seemed to think so too as she reverently touched the intricate designs on the cross. He had seen her read his note, shivering slightly as she absently touched her neck.

He could only allow the menace he felt at the audacity of the now-dead vampire who had tried to take what was and always would be his to burn through him.

He had seen the puzzled look on her face as she held up her lipstick before finding the tiny case. He had then seen her carefully place the tube in its' container and lay it on the dresser alongside the box that contained his tokensof affection.

He had seen her leave the room, waiting long minutes and hating that there was no window in her bathroom. Hungrily he watched her come back in freshly showered and holding the bowl of strawberries. He had seen her strip off her clothes, put on the pins and choker, and sit there sinfully nude in front of her mirror eating her strawberries and looking at her wilting flowers.

What made her even more decadent was the fact that he could swear that she knew he was watching her.

He could only barely restrain the urge to leap through the window and claim her as his woman until the hated dawn broke free from his dimension.

Now he had most likely set himself back several steps but damned if he regretted it! He would have done it again only this time with more permanent results: like death.

"If you want to attack me then do it, but don't do it through others! Maybe you're not man enough-"

"Oh you're definitely right on that score babe. I'm _not_ man enough but I'm demon enough." Reaching out he grazed his fingertips against the bare skin of her arm and softly warned "Haven't you learned anything yet you silly child? It's my raison d'etre to attack all others. It's what I do. If you haven't got that yet, then you're not going to last long in this game of ours."

Mutinously shaking of his hand she icily stated "I'm not playing any games with you Angel. You will NOT shred my life to pieces like you did with Victoria Stramfort, Aimee Bertrand, or Carlotta Louisa Arguello de Calderon"

Arching his brow Angelus bent his waist in a deep bow. "You've been reading about my past exploits. I was wondering how long it would take for you to bring it up. Hope I didn't make you too jealous sweetheart. By the way, her name was Carlotta Louisa _Arias_ de Calderon."

"Whatever. We don't date, you know because you're a icky thing from hell, so that leaves me free Angel. Meaning you say nothing about it." Buffy had no real intention of dating, but there was no way that she'd let Angel dictate his rules to her.

His jaw locking in tension, Angelus tersely stated "Dating is not an option for you my sweet. You better understand that now."

Seeing the implacable look of strong will on his face Buffy spat "I hate you Angel! Do you hear me? I hate you! You won't control my life, you won't control ME! I'm not scared of you and I won't let you bully and kill off anyone who comes near me!"

"Now it's time for you to hear me: you're wrong on all counts _lover_. I WILL control you. You ARE scared of what I am, of what I make you feel. Listen up here Buff, I will KILL any male who comes sniffing around you."

"You played this 'game' for so long Angel, you actually believe the crap that comes out of your mouth. The difference between then and now is this: I'm the Slayer and I don't scare easily." Buffy quickly eased her body into a fighting stance, feeling in total control despite her dress and high heels. "I'm so ready to end things here and now. What do you say?

Amusedly smirking Angelus crossed his arms in front of his wide chest and snorted. "My, my. What spirit! What determination! Didn't your mommy teach you any manners little girl? You don't start a game and then walk away. You had your chance last week to end things. YOU chose to continue. It's too late now precious. Much, much too late.

"I don't think it is. I think now is as good a time as any. What? Are you chicken, _lover_? Scared to die? I know how you immortal types can be."

"I'll eagerly face death as long as I have you with me Buff. What? You don't feel the same?" Looking up at the dark sky, Angelus gave the appearance of deep thought. Looking back at the Slayer he pitingly said "I guess I'll just have to teach you a little lesson baby. You don't play with the devil and skip away unburned."

Frustratedly Buffy tightly said "Will you just the fuck up for once?! I'm tired of your pretty little bullshit comments! Either you fight back or you stand there and get staked! I'm not giving you any other chances Angel!"

He just slowly shook his head. "Not going to happen lover. I agree: it will end. Only when I'm ready to end it. Not a moment sooner."

Giving an inarticulate cry of rage Buffy rushed him and brutally punched him in all the same places that he had hit Jeff. When Angelus had pushed her down and resumed his attack, she had been a seeming state of shock. His rage had left her frozen; by the time she had moved her body into mobility, it had been too late for Jeff.

When he didn't hit her back, she intensified her assault on him in the hopes of getting him to fight back. He stood there stoically, barely flinching from the pain.

Despite her earlier threat, Buffy could not kill him if he just stood there passively. "Hit-me-back! Damn you! HIT ME BACK!"

He never even tried to block her vicious blows.

After several minutes of her one-sided battle Angelus finally subdued her physically, holding her struggling body tightly to his. "Ssh, baby. Ssh, ssh" he soothingly whispered in her ear.

Buffy eventually settled down, holding herself stiffly agains him. Clenching her eyes tightly she felt such an acute pain in her heart. She was being held by Angel's body, but by Angel's demon. The lonely weeks of still needing Angel and only having Angelus brought a sting of tears.

All she had now was a mocking, empty echo of her love's embrace.

Tipping her face with one finger Angelus' dark gaze beckoned her to stare deeply within their cold, hard depths. "Don't test my promises darling. If you value the lives of the pitiful people you're sworn to protect, don't test me."

Huskily Buffy said "Don't threaten me Angel. You go after anyone and I will stop you."

Twisting his lips into a smile Angelus dipped his head down until his mouth hovered over her suddenly trembling lips. "I would never threaten you my precious one. Never. I only promise." Awaiting for the unwilling arousal to stir Buffy's blood he allowed his mouth to remain poised over hers...

Until he felt IT.

Gently smiling, his mouth captured her sweet glossy lips and fiercely devoured her in a blatantly carnal kiss. Buffy moaned desperately into his mouth, instictively fighting against his seduction yet feeling a wicked rush of keen desire for him. The same desire that rushed through her as she helplessly stared at his well-shaped lips.

It was the worst sort of betrayal she could ever do against Angel, but she craved his body so much. _And_ the demon felt so good.

Angelus' cool hand roved over her backside, squeezing her in his large hand, making her cry out against his mouth. Her essence, her life-force allured him as no other had ever done so. Even Druscilla, when she had human, had never had such a powerful impact on his senses.

He longed for this one girl with all of his unnatural being. He longed for her incessantly. It seemed that with each night the desire grew stronger. He wanted her so badly, that he could barely remember that this was just a show of domination.

Instead he felt himself sink to his knees, bringing her pliant body with him. They were practically in the middle of the street, yet he didn't care. He just held her on his lap so that the pebbles wouldn't dig into her knees.

There was nothing more important on Earth to him than this moment. He purred with triumph when Buffy began kissing him back. Her small hands began to knad his shoulders as she aggressively thrust her tongue into his mouth. His every sense centered on her: her small moans of delight, her steady writhing, her rapid breathing, and her glorious blood.

Her blood was quickly rushing through her body, reaching every area with an increased flow because or her body's arousal.

It was the sweetest scent for a vampire: the mixture of lust and blood.

Everyone's was different, everyone had a different melody and composition.

His Buffy's was the best. It was the only thing he wanted to smell.

He had to move her. He would not let _their_ first time be in the middle of goddamned Main and Elm Streets. Although a little exhibitionism would be sexy...

Pulling back from her, he gazed at her flushed face with his heavy lidded dark eyes. "Baby I want you. Now."

Buffy could only stare at his face with a glazed expression. She saw his mouth move, but couldn't quite comprehend his words. He was simply too beautiful. Normally she never thought of that word applying to a man, but it fit her Angel perfectly.

Angel.

Running his hand over her breasts, he squeezed each one tightly. Murmuring in a voice thick with lust he said "I should burn this dress. I don't want you to ever wear anything like this again lover. It shows all your curves, all of you, to anyone who looks at you. I want to be the _only_ one who sees her.

Angel.

Her haze of blind desire began to recede as she remembered her Angel. This was not Angel. How could she put it in the back of her mind? It was Angelus. Smug, violent, murderous Angelus who would try to kill her one night.

Most likely while fucking her.

No! How could she calmly think that he would ever have the chance? How could she even for one second think that they would ever have sex?

"You'll be a good girl, won't you? You won't show your ass off to someone else, will you?" Taking her silence for agreement, Angelus moved closer to kiss her again.

He kissed her alright-he kissed her fist. Really, really hard.

Grunting with surprise he looked up to see a chillingly calm Slayer standing over him. "Don't ever think that you will ever touch me again. Don't ever think that you can even talk to me. And don't ever think that you can tell me what to do. That includes my clothes, my dates, my fucking life. Got it?"

Never giving him a chance to respond, Buffy pulled back her foot and delivered a Slayer-size kick straight to his groin. Angelus immediately howled with rage and most importantly: pain.

Radiating, nauseating, seemingly never-ending rolls of pain.

He dropped to his side and held his still-stiff groin as the agony of her vicious kick seemed to intensify with each hateful second. Opening an eye he spat "Bitch! You'll pay for this! I swear to all that's unholy: YOU WILL PAY!"

Coldly smiling Buffy said "I'm sure _Angelus_. Oh by the way, that one was for Jeff."

"WHORE!" he hissed as another impossible wave of nausea hit him again.

Not even dignifying his insult with a comment, her icy eyes stared into his, the burning hatred smoldering in his gaze, the ice freezing in hers. "I meant what I said Angelus. You go after anyone, I go after you. You kill anyone, not only do I kill you, I kill all of yours. Spike, Druscilla, all of them. I trust that I'm making myself crystal."

Turning around Buffy left Angelus laying on his side in the street, confident that he would not retaliate. At least for now. When he did, she would be ready.

Reaching Jeff's still unconscious body, she glanced back and saw that the street was empty. It was as if he had never been there. She only had to look down to see perfectly that he had been there.

He left his mark on them both; some would fade and others would linger. But he would not be forgotten.

No matter how she longed for it to be otherwise.


	11. Chapter 11

Opening her front door, Buffy immediately sensed that once again Angelus had been there. His aura was all throughout the house. There seemed to be not one room that he had not been in. She knew because she had cautiously checked, apprehensive that he might still be there. If he was, she would be more than happy to show him what she did to intruders.

After calling 911 Buffy had went to the hospital to find out how severe Jeff's injuries were. Hearing all the extensive damage that had occured had filled Buffy with such guilt. It was her job to protect people, not cause them to get hurt.

Or allow those who cause hurt to go unpunished.

Warily climbing up the stairs Buffy pushed her door open, half-way expecting for Angel to be there. Her room was blessedly empty. No Angel, but he had left his calling card.

Walking to the bed she saw a cluster of long, ivory tapers wrapped with black ribbons and velvety red roses with missing stems. Instead of a note written on white parchment, it was written on red paper with the black ink scrawled in angry slashes.

 _Heed my warning or you will see EXACTLY why the chronicles don't lie about me.  
If you choose not to believe, then you'll find that you'll need these candles:  
to light at the memorial services.  
-A_

 _Lover, you WILL be punished for what you did tonight. I promise._

 _You can sure as hell try LOVER_ Buffy wearily thought. Fumbling with the back of her zipper she simultaneously kicked her shoes off, stretching her cramped toes with a silent sigh of bliss. Why women felt that they needed to wear these torture devices on their feet was beyond Buffy, but she was as guilty as the rest when it came to a pair of cute shoes.

Finally getting her zipper down, Buffy allowed the dress to slither down to her ankles before stepping out of it. Picking up the dress a slight crease marred her forehead as she saw a tear in the black lace. "Damn vampire! It's not enough that he threatens all of the Sunnydale male population, he just _had_ to ruin my dress!" she muttered to herself.

Walking out of her room Buffy went into her mother's and laid the dress on the bed. Hopefully her mom had some skill with a needle and thread because she had _none_. Even though she was completely trained in the deadly arts of slaying, home ec. was totally left out. Thank God for mothers!

Coming back to her room, she got a strange sense that something was-off.

All of a sudden the door closed. Buffy whirled around and saw _him_. Angelus was standing there in her room and all she had on was a black velvet thong. Immediately her arms crossed over her chest and two bright spots of color stained her cheeks. She was so embarrassed to be found 95% naked. Strangely she never felt any danger in him being in her room, especially after kicking him in the 'vampire-clan jewels'.

The only danger she felt was the seductiveness of his carnality.

Her voice came out as a dry croak. "Wh-what are you doing in here?"

He said nothing. He just stared at her hungrily.

Buffy hesitatingly took a few steps back. Angelus followed.

Her eyes locked onto his. There was nothing she could read in his midnight eyes other than his blatant lust. That frightened and exhilirated her. Her feet kept backing up until suddenly she stumbled over her shoes and fell to the ground for the second time that night.

Angelus stopped in front of her and squatted down. He tipped her chin up with one finger and ran his gaze hungrily over her face, as if memorizing every feature, every plane. Buffy opened her mouth to speak but he just shushed her with one finger. Rubbing her soft lips with his index finger Angelus seemed content to just look at her.

Buffy's heart began to beat in long, slow thuds. After what had happened tonight she did not expect for him to be at his mellowest. She expected him to be obviously angry and violent. Instead Angelus seemed more like Angel.

Her body warmed to the rhythmic caress of his finger. His one touch soothed her nervousness and allowed her body to become relaxed. Buffy's wary thoughts fled her one by one as she closed her eyes and focused on his lone finger.

All thoughts of Jeff vanished.

All thoughts of his deadly threat vanished.

All thoughts of her promises of retaliation vanished.

There was and always would be just him.

If just the touch of his finger made her feel like this, what would it be like to _BE_ with him? She had already had a taste of him and it had been pure ecstasy. What would it be like to do the forbidden?

"Angel..." the Slayer breathed.

A ghost of a smile touched his lips when he heard the uncertain need in her voice. Softly he spoke "No words tonight. There's no need for words, not when we're together. Just let yourself go and _FEEL_.

Tremulously Buffy whispered "I don't know if I can. I'm s-scared to Angel. I'm scared of...us."

Angelus' face softened. Leaning forward he softly kissed her mouth once and then twice. "Let me take away your fear. Trust me..."

In answer Buffy dropped her arms from over her breasts and instead encircled them around his neck. Angelus groaned when he felt the tips of her pert nipples brush against his chest. Wrapping his arms around her, Angelus crushed her slim body to his and hungrily devoured her tender mouth.

Their kiss seemed endless. Buffy could barely breathe but air seemed trivial in comparison to him. Her nails dug into his shoulders as Angelus pulled pulled his mouth away and sensuously licked and lightly bit her neck. His every touch melted her; her momentary fear of lovemaking vanished.

She needed to be claimed by him.

To be claimed by both sides of him.

His name was a mantra as he bent her back over his arm and ran his lips and tongue over her sensitive nipples. When he delicately flicked their peaks Buffy whimpered with longing. Angelus then quickly sucked on one before moving to the other, keeping her in agonized delight.

Vainly she tried to keep his head still but Angelus seemed too involved in keeping her hungry for him. "Ahh...please..." was all she could whisper in an effort to plead for mercy.

He had none.

Picking her up in his arms, he captured her mouth in a kiss as he carried her a few feet to the bed. With one hand he ripped back the blankets and gently set her down in the middle. Stepping back, Angelus looked his fill at her luscious body.

Feeling shy, Buffy brought her arm up to cover herself. "Don't" he softly commanded. Obediantly she let her hand softly drop to her side. With wide watchful eyes she saw him undress, her throat suddenly going dry when he slid his pants down to reveal his rampant erection.

Proudly he stood there, waiting for her to end her silent perusal before sliding into the narrow bed with her. True to his words, Angelus never spoke. He allowed his body to speak for him. His every caress was a perfect blend between worshipfulness and possession.

Within moments Buffy felt the raw desire gnaw at her relentlessly. She _hungered_ for him to be in her. Her body hadn't forgotten the magical pleasure his had inspired. While this time wasn't exactly with Angel, her body never realized. Her body called out to his to reclaim her; she needed and wanted him completely.

Angel or Angelus did not matter at the moment.

When Angelus' hands gripped the waistband of her thong, Buffy eagerly lifted her hips. Nothing beyond this moment mattered to her: only being in Angelus' and Angel's arms.

Kneeling between her thighs his eyes greedily raked her naked flesh. Running his hand in appreciation up and down her leg, his eyes sought hers in a silent question. Nodding her head Buffy anticipated his wicked kiss.

When his cool lips touched her wet flesh, her breath loudly hitched. Slowly his tongue traced her pouty lips before delving into her core. Her moans grew in intensity as he devoured her. Angelus continuously brought her to the brink of her climax before ruthlessly drawing back and making her start all over again.

Buffy was soon crying aloud from the anguish of unfulfilled desire. She began moving her hips in an attempt to bring herself over, but Angelus sat back on his heels and lifted her hips to him. His were hands firmly clamped around her hips, keeping her from stealing an orgasm.

After several more minutes of unrelenting sexual torture, she began babbling and begging him to give her relief. She promised him everything: her life, her love, her very soul if only he would let her come.

When he pulled back and gently set her back down Buffy wailed in frustration. Her cry was cut off when his mouth drew it into his own. When she felt the smooth head of his penis nudge her willing flesh, she sobbed into his mouth. She felt such unbridled joy-she was finally going to have him in her again.

Where he belonged.

She knew it now. She had always known it on some level. It didn't matter that Angelus was in control, it was still Angel's body.

Her Angel's body. Which made Angelus hers as well.

As long as she still had breath, she would always be his.

When he slowly penetrated her, Buffy pulled her mouth away from his and shut her eyes tightly. The feeling of having him again was a mixture of wonderful pleasure and intense pain. She could feel her silken walls struggling to accomodate his massive length.

Finally Angelus spoke again. "Buffy-look at me." Opening her eyes she looked into his incredibly dark gaze and saw love reflected in their depths. Love?

"Angel...?"

"Oh Buffy...it feels so good to be here again." Thrusting once he throatily growled at the intense sensations. "Buffy..."

She felt an over-whelming sense of love flow through her as he looked down into her face. How could it be possible that he loved her? She knew he lusted after her, but she would have never believed that he loved her. To be loved by both sides of an enigma...

To be lovd by the man. To be loved by the demon.

To be loved by the whole.

Buffy tremulously smiled and slipped her arms around his broad back, clutching him to her and never wanting to let go. Soon she was caught up in his marvelous pace and all thoughts fled her as she lost herself to their new passion.

All thoughts except one: she loved him too. Angel and Angelus. She had from the beginning. She would for all eternity.

His tender lovemaking shifted by degrees until he was pounding Buffy into her mattress. The entire time he seemed to want even more of her, his hands roamed all of her that he could touch. His lips never seemed to stop kissing her: her mouth, ear, throat, breasts. It wasn't enough.

Leaning back Angelus threw her legs on his shoulders an dran his mouth across her dainty ankles and small toes before renewing his pace. Buffy cried aloud in pain at his first thrust, it felt as if he had touched the mouth of her womb.

Concernedly Angelus stopped and asked "Baby? Did I hurt you? I'll stop if you want me too."

Shallowly breathing she replied "No...no. I'm okay. Please-don't stop."

Regardless of whatever pain might ensue, she felt as if she would die if he stopped.

Gently parting her curls he started to rub and pluck her clit as he slowly thrust back into her. Soon Buffy started breathily moaning again as she absorbed the strong sensations of having him in her and having him _touch_ her. In a matter of moments she felt the beginning tremors of her climax.

"Angelus..." she brokenly panted.

Immediately her lover stopped and pulled out of her. Looking at him in dismay Buffy was going to plead for him to stop his exquisite torment when she heard him ask "What did you just call me?"

"W-what" she confusedly questioned. He didn't appear at all angry, only bewildered.

"Did you just call me Angelus?"

"Yes. You don't want me to call you that?" The reason why she had called him by his true name was that she thought it would make him happy. It was her way of letting him know that she was feeling _him_.

Crookedly smiling, Angel shook his head. "No, I don't mind. It's just...well, it's weird that you would call me by the demon's name."

Sitting up Buffy touched his arm. "I wanted you to know that I want YOU. Not Angel."

This time he frowned and pulled slightly back. "What do you mean you want me and not Angel?" Getting up he stood with his back to her and said over his shoulder "Do you fantasize about my past evils Buffy? Does that turn you on? I thought you loved ME."

Rushing out of the bed, she stood behind him and peppered his strong back with countless kisses. "I do love you."

Leaning his head back in pleasure, he murmured "I love you too Buffy. Always. You're everything to me, love. EVERYTHING."

Wrapping her arms around his lean waist she laid her heated cheek against his cool back. "You don't know how much that means to me. I never would allow myself to think that this was possible. I didn't think you were capable of love." Breathing deeply of his scent she breathed "I love you both. Angel and Angelus."

Turning around he cupped her small face in his hands. "Buffy, there's only Angel. Only me. Angelus has been gone for almost a hundred years. He's never coming back. I promise."

Staring at her beloved's face in bewilderment she shakily said "I don't understand. Y-you lost your soul...a month ago...when we m-made love."

Softly laughing he said "What are you talking about Buffy? I didn't lose my soul, how could that happen? _And_ we've been making love every night since then." Wanting to clear the confusion in her eyes he whispered "I love you Buffy. I'll never leave you. Ever..."

Buffy's eyes flew open, her lips poised to scream Angel's name. Rapidly blinking away the tears that sprang up, Buffy felt an acute sense of loss. It had all been a dream. Everything. Angelus didn't love her. Angel was gone. She had them both, for a brief moment in time.

But they were both lost to her.

The raw pain that flooded her heart was for both of them. Not only for Angel. It was for Angelus as well. She had known and felt a love that she thought was from him and it had all been an illusion.

Never had she felt more loved than in this dream. Never had she felt the completeness of his heart. They had fused to become one, with their love being all for her. It was all false.

This moment right now was reality: Buffy realized that she was laying on a black fur on her bedroom floor.

Her last waking memory was slowly filtering in. She had fallen asleep, completely dressed, on the living room couch. Taking a quick glance down Buffy breathed a sigh of relief that she was still fully clothed.

She had been a coward, she didn't want to find her 'gift' tonight. She feared what it could have been. Instead she chose to sleep in front of the TV set.

Slowly sitting up she saw that the fur had been surrounded by dozens of flickering ivory tapers. They were everywhere: on the floor, the nightstand, and the dresser. The effect was quite pretty and would have filled her with awe if it wasn't for the eerie feeling she had.

Angelus had been in her house while she was here and had held her against her body. He could have killed her while she was helpless. Instead he left her on her floor and left her room looking like a gothic altar.

How long before he tried to make her the sacrifice?

Looking for the note, Buffy's eyes searched the room until they landed on her bed. Getting up she walked over and saw the same sight as her dream: ivory tapers wrapped with black ribbons and stemless red roses. The note was also written on crimson paper.

Lifting up the heavily textured paper, the written words jumped at her. They were the same as the ones in her dream. Almost the same:

 _Heed my warning or you'll see exactly why the chronicles dont lie about me.  
If you choose to ignore me then you'll find that you will need these:  
to light at the memorial services.  
Lover you WILL be punished for what you did tonight. I promise.  
Even though you don't deserve my gift I hope it keeps you warm in your lonely bed.  
-A  
My name sounds wonderful coming from your lips darling. I can hardly wait to hear it again.  
Pleasant dreams my precious little angel._

Shivering Buffy let the note drop back on the bed. She did call out his name. In that moment in her dream she had loved him as much as she loved Angel.

Going about the room she blew out each candle until she had them blown out and in a big pile on her closet floor. _At least now I'm prepared for any power outage._ she wryly thought.

Turning on the light Buffy kicked off her shoes, muttering to herself about the absurdity of such an uncomfortable design. Reaching back to undo her zipper, she paused in mid-action and craned her head to look at the side of her dress.

A small tear in the lace greeted her sight. Just like in her dream. Not wanting to take a chance of repeating her dream in real-life, Buffy quickly took off her dress and pulled out a nightgown. Slipping it on she looked down at the fur blanket and picked it up.

Running her cheek against he soft, luxurious fur, Buffy felt a dull ache in her heart. If she didn't know how evil Angelus was she would almost believe that she could truly love him as he was now. Angel had never given her any gifts, except for the claddaugh ring.

Looking down at her hand, the silver shined in bright contrast against the inky ebony of the fur. Here in her hand she held them both. The same body. The same voice. The same man.

Only he wasn't a man anymore.

He was simply a demon.

A demon who wanted to bring her down before he tried to kill her.

Folding up the fur Buffy opened her closet door again and hid it behind some boxes. She couldn't bring herself to get rid of it, just as she couldn't get rid of his other gifts. However, she could no longer wear them or even see them.

The line had been drawn tonight. It was going to be the Slayer against a Master Vampire. He was not her lover or friend. He was her enemy. He always had been and always would be, regardless of any other appearance he chose to show her.

Staring at the ceiling, Buffy could feel her eyes grow heavy with sleep. Her last thoughts were of candles and fur.

Of Angel and Angelus


	12. Chapter 12

"Heard what happened to you boyo! That must have been quite a sight-our Angelus laid out on his side in the middle of the street after being kicked in the balls by the Slayer!" Spike's clipped British accent loudly echoed throughout the cavernous room. Wheeling himself out of the shadows he stopped in the middle, boldly sneering at his sire.

Angelus had just appeared at the top of the steps. As he carefully made his way down, the slight limp in his walk was evident to one and all. Reaching the bottom, his menacing glare swept the room causing all but Spike to scurry out. Fiercely scowling at him, Angelus asked in an annoyed voice "And just how do you know that?"

Letting out a short laugh the blond vampire answered "Good news travels fast."

Walking past he gingerly settled himself in a green brocade chair and muttered "I bet it does." Even though a couple of hours had passed, his nuts still hurt like Hell! Although he couldn't honestly say that it was solely because of her untimely kick...

It had been so hard for him to let her go unscathed, he had so wanted to cause Buffy to scream for him. The fact that she had even _dared_ to abuse his flesh that way made him grit his teeth in barely surpressed rage.

In fact, he had planned on forcing her tonight once she returned to her home.

 _As he waited for her on her virginal bed, he eagerly anticipated the fear that would cross her face as she realized what was in store for her._

 _Lost in his dark musings Angelus had not realized how much time had actually passed since she left him in an ignoble heap. He then noticed that one, two, three hours had passed and she still wasn't home. The sun would be rising in two hours so he didn't have as much time as he needed. Pacing, his mind speculated on where she could have went to hide. Surely that was what she had done._ _ **Oh my little bitch, you just wait until I find you.**_ _he frustratedly thought. Just when he was about to climb out her window to tear Sunnydale apart for her, he_ _ **felt**_ _her. A couple of moments later he heard the front door open._

 _Good. In a few minutes Buffy would walk into her room and into his unmerciful arms. His lips parted in an slow, evil smile as he waited for her to see what he had done to the room. He had placed and lit dozens of candles and invitingly laid the black fur on her bed. Angelus had created the scene for her rape and ultimate unwilling seduction._

 _As a matter of fact, there was no reason why he couldn't play with her here and then take her to his own lair. With her strength and stubborness the possibilites of hedonistic pleasure were endless..._

 _Anticipation had grown tight within his injured loins as he impatiently waited to hear her light steps tread up the stairs. He heard nothing. In fact, he hadn't heard her after she opened the door. His brow wrinkled in confusion as he thought_ _ **what the Hell is she doing down there?**_

 _After waiting for another ten minutes, Angelus growled in severe irritation as he opened up the door. It just wasn't going to be the same if he had to fetch her. He had wanted to see her try to run from him just so he could catch her and throw her on the bed. Making his way down the narrow stairs, he thought_ _ **She still might try to run**_ _and instantly his mood was restored._

 _He heard her before he saw her. He heard her softly moan and give a broken pant. Angelus' arousal shot up to an even more painful level. He knew she was alone, so what was she doing?_

 _Slipping into the living room he noticed that all the lights were off, the only illumination coming from the flickering TV set. He immediately saw her curled up on the couch, her body emitting waves of sweet arousal._

 _Crouching down beside her, Angelus watched her for several minutes, wanting to ease himself with her body, yet unable to tear his sight away from the vision of seeing her softly twist and turn from the eroticism of her dreams._

 _Stroking her cheek with one finger, his face became drawn with powerful lust when Buffy softly murmured and turned her face into his hand, seeking any ounce of contact with his body._

 _It would be so easy to take her, rape wouldn't even be necessary. All he would have to do was...take her. Withdrawing his hand, Angelus came to the difficult decision of allowing her to keep to her dreams. No, he would take her only when she was fully aware of her actions. Afterall, it would make her agony all the more sweet for his ravenous appetite for human suffering._

 _Lifting her slight frame, Angelus cradled her to his body, delighting when she turned into his chest for comfort. Her body seemed to have no problem recognizing him as her master. It was her damnable human sense of guilt that he had to overcome._

 _Reaching her room he debated on whether to leave her on the bed or on the floor. Shifting her to one arm, he reached down on lifted the fur off the bed and laid it on the floor. Relunctantly he placed Buffy on the fur. Picking up a few of the candles, he placed them around her makeshift pallet and then with the skill of an artist, arranged her sleeping limbs and her free-flowing hair until he was satisfied with the result._

 _Standing up he stared at the innocent yet blatantly sensual image she made. A camera. He wished he had a camera to capture this moment. Imagining their eventual physical joining, Angelus knew that he would have to photograph her._

 _Remembering his original gift, he placed the bundle of ivory tapers on her bed and laid his note with them. Returning back to his own sleeping beauty, he crouched down in time to hear Buffy's aching cry of "Angelus..." Immediately the demon rose within, causing his eyes to gleam ferally with an unholy glow. Hunger beat a fierce staccato in his loins: hunger for the Slayer._

 _Forcing his instincts down, he lowered his head and gave the merest brush of his lips against her own. It was all that he would allow himself of her. Anything further would undoubtedly make him lose his tenuous control._

 _Standing up, he reached for his ever-present pen and added another line to her 'love note'. Deciding to leave the house through a door, Angelus took another look at her and knew that all the waiting would only make his eventual conquest exquisite._

His reverie was broken when he heard Spike shift in his wheelchair. Looking back to him, Angelus saw that he was leaning forward with every bit of amusement gone from his expression. In a serious tone Spike asked "What are you going to do about the Slayer?"

Not wishing to discuss Buffy Angelus simply said "She's my problem. I'll take care of it."

"In case you haven't noticed-she KILLS us. That makes her OUR problem."

Coldly staring at what he considered his impudent pup, he silkily asked "Are you questioning me?"

Before Spike could answer a soft feminine voice floated towards them. "Spike would never question our Daddy, would you Spike? That would make you a very bad boy and my Spike isn't bad." Druscilla gracefully floated towards both of them. She was dressed in a bright red silk dress that only enhanced her seemingly fragile figure.

When she reached Spike, Druscilla momentarily paused before walking past him and settling herself on the floor by Angelus' feet. Laying her small dark head against his thigh, she looked off in the distance and dreamily said "We must trust Angel my love. He will do what is best for us. We should never think that he won't."

Reaching out a hand to play with her soft curls, Angelus smugly smiled at the evident jealousy and anguish in Spike's face. "Listen to our Dru, Spike. A beautiful lady never lies."

With a clenched jaw he bit out "Of course. My mistake." He apologized more for the benefit of his love than because of any true sincerity.

Her voice grew sharp as she said "We are finally a happy family again Spike. I want no more fighting between you and Daddy."

Soothingly Spike answered "We weren't fighting princess. We were just...talking."

Satisfied with his flimsy lie, Druscilla began purring from the pleasure of having her hair and scalp stroked. She languidly turned her head, looked up into Angelus' darlky handsome face, and whispered "I know what the nasty Slayer did to you. Will you hurt her for it?"

Twisting his suddenly hard lips in a cruel smile, he replied "Yes darling. I'm going to hurt her for it." _Hurt her in a way she will never recover from._

A malicious gleam sharpened her unfocused gaze. Avidly she asked "Very badly?"

"Very-very badly." Already knowing his childe's response Angelus huskily asked "Do you want me to show you how badly Druscilla?"

"Oh yes Angel" she moaned. A hungry feline look crossed her ageless features as she anticipated Buffy's punishment-and her own. Clutching his hard thigh with both hands she pleaded "I want to know how you'll hurt her. Will you show me?"

Gently pulling her up by her slim hand, Angelus stood up and ordered her to go wait for him in her room. She let out a squeal and happily skipped out of the room, totally oblivious to how she had just betrayed Spike. Again.

His pained eyes followed her merry disappearance around the corner. He would never hold anything against his fragile beauty. However, his sire was another matter. Until he was strong enough he had no choice but to tamp down his murderous instincts.

Angelus' knowing eyes read and understood every thought that crossed Spike's face. If he loved Dru as much as Spike claimed to love her, there was no way that he would let a bastard like himself even speak to her. Spike wasn't as direct as he was and therein lay the danger. The silence could only contain a cauldron of evil intent against himself. Spike would strike against him one night, of that Angelus was sure.

No matter, he would be ready.

Until then, he would run a strict household. Meaning any and all infractions would be punished. To his way of thinking, Spike brought it all on himself. He had planned on sleeping alone, but now he would just have fuck Dru until she couldn't walk. That would take a considerable amount of time. Well, never let it be said that he shirked his duties as sire.

Stopping by Spike's chair Angelus laid a hand on his tense shoulder, leaned down and softly warned "Don't ever question me again. I make the rules here, you don't. We'll do things my way, or I'll remove anything that tries to stop me. Got it?"

Barely concealed hatred laced the blond vampire's short tones. "I got the point _Daddy_." Shrugging Angelus' hand off his shoulder, Spike wheeled himself towards the twisting and turning corriders that led to his room. His sire's hateful, mocking laugher rang throughout the factory.

Turning the wheels of his chair with swift, angry motions Spike silently vowed to make Angel pay for everything he had done to him, but most especially, for taking his precious love away from him.

There would come a time when the Irish prick would be at his most vulnerable and when that time came, Spike would be ready. If his instincts were right, and they almost always were, the bitch Slayer held the key to his vengeance.

The wench would have been dead by now if it wasn't for Angelus' steadily consuming need for her. If there was ever a time that he would have killed her it would have been after tonight's little amusing drama.

He remembered the time in Austria when Angelus had been enamored with the young wife of old aristocrat.

 _For weeks he had pursued and charmed the beautiful lady, attending every social function that she might possibly be seen at. His every impulse had been to be with the lovely Diane? Diana?, it was all he could think about. Spike had been amazed to see him actually try to woo the prim Austrian, instead of trying to brutally terrorize her. Angelus had even spoken of bringing her across, he was so infatuated with her._

 _One night at a masquerade he had managed to get her outside on the balcony, and had even managed to steal a few kisses from her virtuous lips. Spike himself was rather occupied with stealing a few kisses from Druscilla. The mood had been an unusual one that night; the magic seemed to settle over all of them. He had actually felt as if he were a normal human enjoying the music and the stars with his normal wife._

 _In the middle of nuzzling Dru's slim neck, he had glanced over to where Angelus was. Or rather had been. Puzzled he looked around the nearly deserted balcony and then swiveled his neck to look through the ballroom windows. His sire was no where to be seen._

 _Shrugging he bent back to his task of making his love croon from delight, when he felt a hand clamp on his shoulder. Biting back a growl, Spike turned around to see a very bloody Angelus. There was blood around his mouth, on his once-pristine white shirt, and on his hands._

 _Both himself and Druscilla felt a sharp hunger pierce them as they smelled the fresh blood. Tersely Angelus had ordered them to leave the masquerade immediately and to make ready to leave the city that night. Wisely they had both held their questions and did as they were told._

 _It didn't take long for them to find out what had happened._

 _Apparently when Angelus had coaxed his aristocrat out for a stroll in the gardens, he had approached her with his offer of companionship. It was most likely 'I'll show you a world that you never knew existed' 'We will be together forever...' and all that bloody drivel._

 _Perhaps she didn't fully understand what he was or perhaps she thought him slightly crazed. Most likely she thought he was just another young swain hopelessly enamored with her lovely charms. Unfortunately for her she thought wrong._

 _Coquettishly she had pondered his offer and then just when Angelus thought that she had agreed, the lady stopped and soundly slapped him in his face. She then stated that why should she leave her rich husband for one such as himself? She could be persuaded to go with him, if he were to prove that he would do anything for her...such as kill her doddering husband. After all, if he cared for her as he seemed to why not do it?_

 _Why indeed?_

 _Angelus told her exactly what he thought of her offer in a way more eloquent than words alone. He simply tore her to shreds._

 _As Angelus had told him later "It wasn't that she wanted me to kill her husband, that I planned on doing anyways. It was the fact that she felt she could hit me. ME! She would have made a horrible vampire, she made an excellent meal, but as a vampire..."_

The fact that he had allowed the Slayer to walk away exposed Angelus' achilles heel to his enemies-namely himself. What he would give to have seen it himself! Spike's malicious smile faded away when he heard a distant cry of rapture. Clenching his jaw in helpless fury he promised to make his 'Daddy' pay dearly for ever touching his Druscilla. Angelus cruelly took Druscilla from him.

Spike would just have to make sure that he took Buffy Summers away from him.

Feeling the strength of his resolve flow through him, Spike hummed a bawdy ditty and waited for the two guards to pull open the double doors. Entering his private quarters he began to make plans for his sire's bloody downfall. Vengence would undoubtedly be sweet.

Buffy and Willow were sitting in class, trying to pay attention (at least Willow was) to their extremely dull third period teacher when a knock sounded at the closed classroom door. Heaving impatiently Mr. Bushy-brows (Buffy's knickname for Mr. Bushrow) trudged over to the door, opened it a crack, and curtly asked "Yes?"

The soft reply was barely audible so Mr. Bushrow irritably asked "What did you say young lady? Come now, speak up!"

Whatever was said satisfied him enough to grudgingly open the door to let a dark haired girl in. Immediately the room erupted with catcalls as the boys saw how attractive the new student was.

Willow leaned to the side of her desk and could only say one word to Buffy. "Wow."

Nodding her head, Buffy had to agree. To call the new student pretty was the understatement of the year. The girl was absolutely gorgeous. Unlike the majority of the Sunnydale High girls who were just plain thin, she was an incredible combination of slimness and voluptuousness. Her hair was an inky black and her slightly slanted eyes were so dark that they appeared more ebony than dark brown. _They're darker than Angel's_ Buffy absently thought. Her beautifully molded features bespoke of a long Spanish heritage as she held herself upright despite the lewd comments flowing around the room.

Mr. Bushrow instructed the new student to sit on the row next to Buffy's. Blandly he stated "Class I want to introduce Cynthia DeVarrez. She's new here, so I'm sure you'll make her feel welcome."

"Yeah, I'll make her feel welcome," one of the resident jock-jerks sitting behind Cynthia leered. "Welcome-to my backseat!" Several boys snickered at the crude joke.

Unused to not being the center of attention when it came to beauty, Harmony came out with her claws unsheathed. "I'm sure it wouldn't take even that-just look at her. She looks like one of those girls who come from over the border. Trash..."

Cynthia just stared ahead of her, a proud tilt to her chin as she ignored the nasty comments floating about her. Mr. Bushrow seemed to be reimmersed in his lecture, so either he did not hear or did not care what was being said.

However Buffy did. "Harmony! Jealous much? If I were you, I wouldn't even try to call anyone trash." Bringing a finger to her lips Buffy thought aloud, "How does that saying go? Oh, now I remember! People in glass whorehouses shouldn't throw stones."

Harmony could only turn an unsightly shade of red when everyone started laughing at her. Quickly rounding on the guy who started it all Buffy attacked. "What are you laughing at? At least Harmony has gotten some...you wouldn't know what to do even if you got someone in the backseat!"

Sputtering he demanded "What the fuck are you talking about?"

In mock sympathy Buffy said "Your little sister let it slip in the locker room. It's okay Bryan. Really, virginity is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact I think it's more common than you realize, so you're not a TOTAL freak..."

Immediately all Bryan's cohorts turned on him. "What! I thought you said you banged..." "A virgin! I knew there was no way..." "Man what a lying punk..."

Desperate to save himself, Brian shouted "She's lying!" causing Mr. Bushrow to sternly say "Quiet! There is to be no talking while class is in session."

Buffy smiled in satisfaction. Her work was done. Since she couldn't permanently rid the world of bigots and sexist jerks, public humiliation was the only option left to her and it was one she hardily enjoyed.

Cynthia turned slightly to the side and calmly looked at her would-be protector, never acknowledging the friendly smile that was given to her, before turning to face the board again.

Looking at Cynthia in puzzlement, Buffy just mentally shrugged. It couldn't be easy coming to a new school in the middle of the year. Especially if you were as exotically beautiful as she was. In fact, she probably would make several more enemies before the day was through simply because of her beauty.

 _I won't be one of them_ Buffy silently thought, feeling empathy for the new girl. She too knew what it was like to be trusted and disliked for petty reasons and did not relish that on anyone. Maybe Cynthia was just feeling kind of shy and really wary.

Who could blame her after receiving this kind of reception?

Seeing Harmony's open racism was only one of many reasons to dislike the blonde snob but it had to be the worst part of her character to show through so far. Bryan was no better. If Cynthia had been another blonde haired, blue-eyed girl with a tan he would have still said the same things only he would have said them to his friends. He would never have said it where she could hear it.

It disgusted Buffy to know that those two were probably just an example of the way the majority of the people here felt. _Humans will destroy themselves long before the demons get a chance_ , she sadly thought, _and all the work I and all the other Slayers before me will be for nothing. What is wrong with us that we have to feel this way about each other? Why can't humans realize that they have a helluva lot more problems to worry about than skin pigment?_

Shaking her head, Buffy tried to throw off her sudden bout of melancholy. She needed to remember that not all people were as ignorant as Harmony and Bryan; people constantly evolved and maybe one day those two will understand how wrong it was to hate to degrade another race.

The passing of time stubbornly crawled by with half the class discreetly sleeping and the other half almost asleep. Except one-Willow. She was the only who seemed to care enough. It was no surprise that her desk was the most visited before test time.

Just before Mr. Bushrow's droning voice sapped the last of Buffy's will to live, salvation came in the form of a bell. Picking up her books, she waited for Willow to finish industrially copying the last of the notes on the board. As the class quickly emptied out, Cynthia unhesitatingly walked over and approached her.

Before Buffy could say hello, the new girl haughtily said "I don't need anyone to fight my battles for me." She then turned away, walking out of the room with pride etched in every step.

Willow and Buffy just stared at her retreating figure. "I guess she's not big on first days" Willow said in her sweet way.

"I guess not" Buffy echoed, strangely hurt by the girl's coldness. Feeling a tug on her arm, she summoned up a smile and laughingly complained "I'm coming, I coming. God Willow, can't we just stroll to class instead of rushing through the halls?"

Later on in the afternoon everyone met in the library, took their seats and waited for Giles and Jenny to come out of small office so they could get down to the business of the Hellmouth. Buffy's mind was on only half of the conversation that buzzed about her as she thought about Angel.

She wondered how to go about finally telling everyone what had been going on for the past week. It was time for her to come clean, especially with Giles. Now that Angel had given her his official psycho status everyone was in potential danger.

 _Why am I so hesitant about this?_ she silently asked herself. It wasn't that she didn't believe him, all she had to do was remember her early morning hospital visit to know that he meant every word, it was just...

Just what?

Seeing that her Watcher approached the table, Buffy shoved Angel to the back of her mind. Giles' expression appeared even more worried than normal. Clearing his throat he waited for everyone to become quiet before speaking. "We have a problem here..."

Looking over at Buffy, Xander crookedly grinned and asked "Why am I not surprised to hear that?"

Giles didn't even appear to notice his flippant comment. Removing his glasses he wearily rubbed the bridge of his nose before settling them back on his face. Once more looking over the group of teenagers, he took a deep breath and stated "Buffy will go against a powerful demon and-" At this point he faltered and a look of extreme sadness entered his eyes.

Sitting up straighter, Buffy calmly asked "And what?"

The whole room seemed to hold its' breath while waiting for his answer. Finally he quietly finished with "Buffy will fall." For a few seconds everyone was seemingly frozen with shock before verbal pandemonium took over.

"Define 'fall'!" Xander ordered, standing up and placing his hands on the table, desperate intensity ringing in his two words.

"Do you-do you mean what it sounds like you mean?" Willow softly cried, her pale face striken with a horrible sense of the truth.

"Okay-basically you're saying that Buffy will croak, right?" Cordelia asked in her direct yet offensive way.

"Definitely not a good thing" Oz surmised in his completely unique use of understatement.

While Giles was bombarded with questions, Buffy just sat there. Seemingly she appeared unmoved yet her mind was in a complete whirl. _Die? I'm going to die? Again?_ As it sunk in she was torn between wanting to curl up in a ball and cry, and just catching the first flight to anywhere-as-long-as-it's-not-Sunnydale.

Suddenly a feeling of serenity descended over her and quelled all thoughts of flight and fear. Eventually it was bound to happen, crying and running out of town would do nothing to change it. Buffy had to make sure that she didn't fail her calling before her death. She knew she would face death with dignity as all the Slayers before her surely did.

 _Funny how I was just thinking about them today and now it's my turn..._

Her voice quickly cut through everone else's. "Okay Giles, tell me everything you know about this demon."

"You really think you can cheat death again Buffy?" Cordelia asked, not unkindly.

Looking over at the brunette, she briefly smiled. "No, but I'm going to take it with me. Whatever it wants to destroy, besides myself, I won't let happen. Now, what does it want in Sunnydale?"

Ms. Calendar, perched on the corner of the table, spoke for the first time. "As of now, we don't know much. But here's what we do know..." Hours later, the group tiredly made for their own homes no closer to finding out exactly what the demon wanted. The obtainted information consisted of several obscure prophesies from ancient texts that did more to confuse than to illuminate and many warnings from all points on the globe over the internet, but one thing was dismally certain: all sources agreed that the Slayer would fall and another would be called.

Since Giles announced that he would continue to research, Jenny volunteered to drive everyone home. Buffy thanked her yet declined. "I should patrol and...slay, you know-do what I do."

"Are you sure you don't want to go home and rest? After tonight..." Jenny gently asked.

Shaking her head, Buffy solemnly stated "Tonight doesn't change anything. There are still things that go bump in the night that I have to de-bump."

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Ms. Calendar Buffy. You should go home tonight and, um, allow yourself to become revitalized."

"Look you guys-I'm not dead yet."

"Buffy, we didn't mean to imply..."

"I know Giles. Please, just let me do this. I need to still feel like it's not over for me. If I stop patrolling then it might as well be over. I won't let this prophesy keep me from doing my job."

"Very well, Buffy. I apologize for not understanding." Turning away from the Slayer, Giles waited until he heard them all leave. Walking into his cramped office he tiredly sat down. When would it end for her? When will all the suffering end for Buffy? Even though the life of a Slayer was never one of endless joy, rarely did so many calamities befall one. When would it simply end? _When she's dead_ came the despondent answer in his mind.

"NO!" he shouted in the empty office. In an uncharacteristic display of extreme emotion, Giles swept everything off his desk and watched it all clatter or smash on the scuffed tile floor. Not yet satisfied he stood and picked up his wooden chair, flung it against the wall and watched it break into jagged pieces.

Finally he felt better. Only slightly.

Chest heaving he strode across the shambles and back towards the vacated table. Sitting down Giles opened up a 15th century text. There was no way that he would let this child succumb to death by a demon, prophesy or no prophesy.

Before beginning her patrol Buffy decided to visit the hospital and see how Jeff was doing. Even though she had stayed in the ER for two and a half hours the night before, she had never really gotten a chance to talk him or to even apologize.

Not wanting to go empty-handed Buffy stopped at the tiny, first-floor gift shop to find a 'Get Well' balloon. After looking at the sparse selection stapled at the top of the wall, she finally decided on a bright yellow one. Going up to the register to pay and have it blown up, Buffy thought about what she would say to Jeff.

What could she say to him? 'Sorry about the broken ribs, teeth, and nose-you see my ex-boyfriend really isn't himself this week. It won't happen again.'

"Honey, what color do you want?"

Focusing her attention on the kindly middle-aged nurse, Buffy softly said "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"What color do you want the ribbon to be? We have pink, red, blue, green, or white."

"Umm...I guess, blue." Nodding her head, the nurse dug through a box and in less than a minute Buffy was out the door with a shiny, yellow balloon and on her way up to the fifth floor.

The elevator doors slid open and Buffy paused, unsure exactly where the nurses station was. Seeing it to her right, she quickly made her way down the hallway. Hospitals always gave her the creeps and this night was no exception. The aura was one of quiet, yet unemotional efficiency. Everything was always silent and clean, your shoes always squeaked on floor no matter what sole it had, yet it just never felt right to her. Buffy always felt a subtle tension, maybe even menace, in the air whenever she stepped foot in a hospital.

She just didn't like them.

Reaching the station she asked the nurse on duty where Jeff's room was. Briskly Buffy in turn was asked "His last name?"

Stumbling, she realized that she didn't even KNOW his last name. _His face got rearranged because of you and you don't even know his name?! Get ready for some more guilt Buffy!_ "Um...I'm not sure. He was brought in late last night."

The nurse just stared at her for a second before looking down at her computer screen. "You said his first name is Jeff...oh yes, I see him right here. It's a shame what happened to him! I can't believe the crime in this city!"

Feeling another ever-present stab of guilt, Buffy painedly asked "What room is he in?"

Not looking away from her screen, the nurse pointed and answered "He's down that hall in room 326. By the way, visiting hours are over in thirty minutes." Murmuring her thanks she turned from the desk and started towards the pointed direction.

Gently rapping at the half-opened door Buffy saw Jeff propped up and watching TV. When he saw her he froze and then hesitatingly told her to come in. Immediately Buffy could sense that she was the last person he wanted to see. _Can't blame him._

Standing awkwardly just inside the room, she couldn't help but wince when she saw how severely bruised and battered he was. In the hours between last night and the present, his face seemed to have swelled to twice it's normal size until he was barely recognizable.

Remembering the balloon, Buffy came closer and said "Umm, I brought this for you. I'll just tie it to this chair."

"Uh, thanks" Jeff's muffled answer found it's way through the split, puffy lips. He avoided looking at her, staring instead to a spot on the floor.

Knowing there was nothing else to do except say what she needed to say, Buffy spoke in a voice filled with sincere sorrow. "Jeff I know there's nothing I can really say to make you feel better, God knows I've racked my brain trying to come with something, but I'm sorry that this happened.

Still not looking at her, he just nodded his bandaged head.

"I had no idea that you would be hurt-" Buffy rushed out with before abruptly stopping. _Liar! You knew there was a chance this could happen! It happened in front of you and all you could do was lay there on the sidewalk while the body of the man you love used Jeff as a punching bag!_

Thinking that she was finished, Jeff mumbled some sort of acceptance. Reaching over to adjust his covers, he grimaced in severe pain. Buffy immediately tried to help him when he feebly slapped her hand away. Drawing back from him she had no choice but to listen to his clumsy yet coldly stated words. "Look, if you're here because you're worried that I'll turn you or your boyfriend in to the cops-don't be. I told them that some guy I couldn't really see tried to steal my money. I put up a struggle and got the shit beaten out of me because of it."

"That's not why I came. I just...just wanted you to know that I...I'm sorry."

"Really? Sure Buffy _Summers_ , sure."

"How, how did you know my name?"

"The cops told me. _After_ they told me that you said you didn't know who did this to me."

Buffy had the decency to flush. The night before she had been questioned about what had happened to Jeff. When she had been asked if she knew the assailant, she lied. She hadn't planned on doing it, it was just-instinctual.

Later she justified it to herself by thinking _I would've just put more people in danger if I had told the truth._ That was true up to a point, but it wasn't the reason why she had lied.

Buffy knew in her heart that she did it for the absurd reason to protect Angel.

"I get it. Thanks for the balloon, but it would be better if we never talked to each other again, alright?"

Slowly nodding her head Buffy turned to walk out of the room. Pausing at the door, she looked back and said "I know you don't believe me but...I'm sorry and I promise you that he'll pay for what he did." Jeff gave no notice of hearing her, so she quietly slipped out of the room and made her way back towards the elevator.

Jeff did hear her and despite himself, he wished that things could have turned out differently. Not only for himself, but for her.

For them.

Stepping into the elevator, Buffy leaned against the wood grained paneling and unseeingly stared at the blinking numbers over the door. The ride down seemed to take forever as the door opened and closed on each floor. People filed in and then filed out. Yet Buffy no more noticed them than she did the flashing yellow lights that her gaze seemed to be fixated on.

All she could feel was futile regret for Jeff. He had been completely innocent until last night. Life's hardships had been no more taxing than mid-terms and having two dates on the same evening. Now he would probably bear the scars of distrust and fear for life.

All because of Angelus and to be honest...

Herself.

Finally reaching the first floor, Buffy stepped out making her way to the large automatic doors and into the cool night air. The night's events were beginning to take their toll on her. Briefly she thought about taking her Watcher's advice and calling it a night, but then the prophesy careened into her mind. She didn't have that many nights left anymore; she needed to do what she could until her time came.

 _At least there's still Kendra_ she thought before determinedly striding off towards the cemetary to begin her nightly patrol.

After about two hours, Buffy felt satisfied with her eventful patrol and decided to call it a night. As she headed for home, she realized that she hadn't seen Angel all night. In fact she was rather glad that she hadn't. There was so much on her mind that she knew she didn't have the mental strength tonight to spar with him. _Although_ she was furious enough because of what he did that she could always use a good fight...

Pulling herself through her bedroom window, she immediately felt that he had been there. _Shit! I'm SO not in the mood for this!_ Her eyes widened when she saw what he had left behind: a yellow 'Get Well' balloon just like the one she had bought for Jeff.

Feeling the blood drain from her face she watched it merrily float and tap the ceiling. Numbly she lifted up an arm and pulled it down by the ribbon. Immediately she noticed that the shiny yellow surface was marred by a few dull splatters. Scratching at it Buffy confirmed her worst suspicion: it was blood.

Letting go of the balloon she dove out the window, without thought of safety or without thought of being caught by her mother. Quickly hopping to the ground Buffy desperately ran through the solitary streets in the direction of the hospital.

Her arms and legs pumped furiously, trying to gain extra speed and precious time. Angel could not have done it. Jeff could not be dead. The two thoughts beat into her brain as she wildly turned corners and cut through parking lots, anything to get there faster.

Dread twisting her gut in knots, Buffy bitterly knew that Angel could not have killed Jeff, but _Angelus_ could and WOULD kill him. _When will I learn? When will I see him for what he's capable of?_ she thought as the scenery flew by in blur and her destination came closer.

The muted lights of the hospital came into view at the same time Buffy pushed her body to run even faster. Her shoes crunched noisily on the pavement while she breathlessly yelled to a few people standing near the entrance, "Watch out! Excuse me! Sorry!" The automatic doors had barely opened before she ran through them. A lone security guard called for her to stop but she ignored him.

Reaching the elevators Buffy rapidly pushed on all the buttons in the hopes of causing one of them to open. She let out a cry of frustration because all six elevators remained stubbornly closed. Seeing the sign for the stairwell, she immediately sprinted over and wrenched open the creaking metal door.

Lunging up the stairs Buffy felt an icy dread in the pit of her stomach. Angel did have free access to the hospital and could have easily killed Jeff with none the wiser.

Except her.

Angel wanted her to know, he wanted to show her that she couldn't keep anyone safe from him. _Please, please Lord don't let him be dead_ she frantically prayed.

Finally a door with a large green five appeared as she turned the slight corner. Leaping over several steps at a time she quickly reached the door and flung it open. Resolutely ignoring the stitch in her side Buffy determinedly made her way towards Jeff's room.

From her station the night time nurse saw Buffy and immediately came around from behind the counter to plant herself in front of Buffy. "Miss, visiting hours have been over for some time now-"

Cutting through the calmly stated words she desperately tried to explain. "Look, I NEED to make sure the guy in room 326 is okay-"

Ignoring the frantic words the nurse firmly said "You can come back tomorrow but I have to ask you to leave. Now."

Trying to get past her Buffy stated "I _have_ to make sure he's okay!"

Trying to soothe the agitated girl, the nurse said "He's perfectly fine considering his injuries."

In a rising voice Buffy demanded "How do you know?!"

Ignoring her question she said "Miss, if you really want to help your friend you'll let him rest." Seeing that Buffy wasn't in the least bit willing to do that, the nurse sternly warned "If you don't leave now I'm going to have to call for security."

Buffy, not being to get the image of the bloodstained balloon out of her mind, roughly pushed the nurse out of the way and ran to Jeff's room. Reaching the end of the hall she paused in front of the door.

It was closed.

Steeling herself to what she might see, she gripped the knob and opened the door. What she saw almost made her crumple. There was a battered Jeff, laid out on his back...

Sleeping.

The motion of his rising chest could be clearly seen. Coming further into the room, she could feel that Angelus had not been there. Looking at the bedside chair she could see that her balloon was still cheerfully bobbing.

Backing out of the room Buffy saw the nurse speaking to the security guard at the end of the hall. Thankfully an emergency exit was right next to the room, so she darted through the door, not caring that the alarm just sounded.

Once she was safely away from the hospital, Buffy could feel the bile rising in the back of her throat. She had truly expected to see Jeff's dismembered body lying in the narrow bed. Her breathing became very shallow as she tried to contain the growing nausea.

Her walk became unsteady and she was forced to hold a hand up to her mouth. The evil bastard really tricked her. He was good, but then again he had plenty of practice.

It was discouraging to know that he could so easily manipulate and score over her. It had only been a week of his 'attentions' and she already felt so weary against him.

Unfortunately, she wasn't weary of seeing him, hearing him, or touching him. Angelus beckoned her with such a dangerous allure; she was now cursed with a new awareness whenever he was near. Last night, while curbing the attraction, did nothing to quelch it.

The disturbing dream only enflamed it. Knowing Angelus had heard her cry out _his_ name filled her with such a conflicting need and want. She felt shame, yet she felt an insane relief that he knew. Almost like when you finally let someone know that you like them-you've unloaded the secret and the weight of it.

 _He'll kill you Buffy. You know how this will end. Fight the attraction, don't betray Angel. Better that you die fighting a full-fledged demon than dying in his arms._

Stopping to throw herself on a park bench, Buffy held her head in her hands. Death. What a solitary and simple word. Death had become her silent companion. It was such an ever-present part of her life. Strangely, she could be told that her death was prophesized to the exact date and she did not lose her composure but when it came to Angel-she came close to heaving her guts.

Taking deep cleansing breaths, Buffy could feel her nausea begin to subside. Knowing that she only had a couple of weeks left on Earth saddened her but perhaps it was better this way. Perhaps the reason why she wasn't going hysterical was because then she'd get to see Angel.

Her Angel.

Insanely, thoughts of Angelus insinuated themselves with thoughts of Angel. Gritting her teeth Buffy flung her head back and stared at the night sky. She wanted to remember why he was so dangerous.

She truly wanted to.

However, she had begun to doubt the depths of his evilness. She began to doubt everything about herself, her calling, EVERYTHING. When she saw the balloon in her room she felt such dread, such a numbing fury. She still felt it.

Now she felt an unreasonable relief. Even knowing that it was folly to think this, she still wondered if Angelus were as evil as he was known to be why _didn't_ he kill Jeff? Last night or tonight? Why didn't he kill HER? He could have last night while she slept.

But he didn't.

This endless madness of self-doubt had her torn between fantasy and reality. Reality was a blood-stained balloon. Reality was being toyed with, being mentally tormented. Fantasy was the notion of taming a beast and being loved by a demon-despite all knowledge pointing to the impossibility of such a notion.

None of it was good.

Standing up, it took an extreme force of will to rein in her wayward emotions. She could not afford to forget or lose focus concerning the prophesy. Each moment that she allowed her thoughts to stray towards him, was a moment that could determentally affect Sunnydale or even the world. Buffy could not be that selfish anymore. Her days were not her own any longer.

 _Soon, Buffy, soon. You'll see Angel soon._

She only walked a few steps before she heard a familiar drawl. "Hello Buff. Liked the balloon?" Angelus stepped around from a tree and neatly stood in front of her path. Unwillingly Buffy acknowledged that he looked like original sin: beautiful and dangerous. He wore a burgandy silk shirt, his ever-present black leather pants, his black leather duster, and a smirk.

Reminding herself of her new resolve, Buffy merely shrugged her shoulders and managed to sound unconcerned. "You've had better taste."

His knowing eyes bored into her. "If you had only noticed you would've seen that my balloon had a _green_ ribbon, while yours had a blue." Pulling out a cigarette, Angelus lit it and leisurely sucked in a drag before blowing out a perfect ring of smoke. Continuing he wondered "I'm surprised you fell for it. Didn't you expect me to do something like that? I thought you could feel me EVERYWHERE, not just your room. Yet you never knew that I was in the hospital too. Why is that?"

"Don't expect me to enlighten you, it's not part of my job description."

Staring at her for a few moments, Angelus noticed the pale pallor of her face and inwardly smiled. "You made it there in record time Buff. I gave you eleven minutes but you actually got there in nine. That must have been some run lover. I'm impressed that you could run four miles so quickly. Must be all that Slayer speed and stamina. Sorry I made you expend it that way, next time I'll find something more-pleasurable."

"Anything else you have to say?" Buffy rigidly asked. His sexual innuendo made her feel too uncomfortable, partly because of his obvious attempt to needle her-

-and partly because she imagined their bodies joined in a most carnal way.

For only a split-second, but a split-second too long.

"As a matter of fact I do: what did I tell you last night? Didn't I warn you about what would happen if you chose to ignore me?"

Refusing to become intimidated by his sudden shift of menace, Buffy returned with "Didn't I tell YOU not to even talk to me? Why are we even having a conversation?"

"I don't take orders from little girls like you. I'll talk to you or do anything I please to you-"

Buffy just rolled her eyes, shook her head and resolutely walked forward to move past him. She was too vulnerable right now to play any word games with him. Besides she had much bigger things to worry about.

Her blatant move to leave him standing there on the sidewalk talking to himself, moved Angelus to action. Placing himself directly in front of Buffy he spoke in a soft voice of steel. "I'm not finished with you baby. I let you get away with it last night, but you DO NOT walk away from me. _Ever._

Her brow rose as she archly replied. "Really? What would you call what I'm about to do?" She took a step to the right but he blocked her way once again. "Angel, don't you get it yet-you don't tell me what to do. In spite of the obvious lack of your intelligence, I can't break it down any simplier than that."

Angelus fought the urge to slap her. The defiant cast of her lovely face goaded him in a way mere words could not. Controlling his violent thoughts, he spoke in a soft, sensual voice that would tempt Buffy's unwilling mind to give over to him. "Slayer you most assuredly do what I want you to do. Your every action is influenced by me. It always will be. The sooner you realize that, the simplier our time together will be."

Swallowing thickly, she briefly closed her eyes. Once again, he spoke the truth. She could not deny it to herself. Angelus had entangled himself so deeply into her being; he seemed to be apart of all her waking thoughts. Tonight showed how much of a puppet she was, all he had to do was pull a string and she'd react.

How was it possible that a demon could know so much about a virtue such as truth?

Suddenly Angelus was closer. Much closer. His throaty whisper crooned in her ear. "Why fight it so hard, Buff? You want me so badly." Seeing her head begin to shake, he pressed in with "Yes you do. I can _smell_ you baby."

Buffy's eyes widened in shock before her face became suffused in color. She wanted to deny it, she wanted it to be a lie, but her body betrayed the growing unwanted desire she had for this creature. Numbly she said "It doesn't matter-"

Angelus moved with the silent speed of his kind so that he stood behind Buffy before she had a chance to react. Placing his hands on her hips, he pulled her body against his so that she could feel the hard length of him pressed against her softly rounded buttocks. "Liar...why do you keep coming back, if not to feed into your hunger? OUR hunger?"

Pulling herself away from him, Buffy spun around only to see he was not there. The tears burned in her eyes, but she stubbornly blinked them back. She was not going to even consider acquiesing to her body's wants. _Come on, Buffy...you do want him. Why can't you have him, even for only a few weeks-_

No! He wasn't Angel, the man that she still loved. She could not betray his memory, everything they had just to fuck Angelus. _Think how good it would be Buffy...it's still the same body. Your heart will always love Angel, what you do with your body doesn't count..._

"Just say yes Buff and I'll take care of the rest." Angelus appeared from behind her, standing in her path once again. Stroking the delicate skin of her cheekbone with the pad of his thumb he coaxed her will with his dark promises. "No one ever appreciates what you do around this dump do they? Even when you and Angel found your love, nobody understood did they?"

Bleakly Buffy remembered. No one had really understood or even approved of the time they spent together, regardless of how innocent it was.

"Instead they just pull more and more out of you, not caring or even thinking about your needs, about Buffy's wants. All they think about is what they want..." His thumb just continued to stroke the same spot until Buffy felt as if all the sensations in her body centered on her cheek.

"How are you any different?" she softly asked.

Pausing in mid-action, Angelus silently watched her before answering. "I'm not. Only in that what I want is infinitely more pleasurable for the both of us than any plans they have for you." Surprisingly she was silent. He expected her to heatedly defend her Brit watcher and her brat-pack.

But she did not.

The lure was set, all that was left for him to reel his prize in. Moving his hand from her cheek, he gently rubbed her full bottom lip. "When will Buffy take what she wants? When will she make her own decisions?"

Buffy felt a sharp longing pierce her heart. Hollowly she exclaimed "I can't, you're my enemy-"

"Even so, you _WANT_ me and I want you more than anything else that exists in the cosmos..." Imperceptibly Buffy leaned against his body as she felt her mind draw his words and reasoning in. She did want him, God how she wanted him!

"When will you let us take comfort in each other's arms? It's destiny, you can't fight it Slayer. You were made to be mine..."

It was so tempting. Nearly irrestible.

If only he hadn't called her Slayer.

Buffy had been seconds away from breaking her resistance towards him, going wherever he would have led her. However Angelus had shattered her compliance with one word. Slayer.

She _was_ the Slayer, no matter what she felt for Angel/Angelus. Hadn't she just lectured herself that she had to focus on her prophesy and her last calling? Within minutes she had not only forgotten that but she had almost allowed herself to be led to Angelus' bed, which was only a hop, skip, and a jump from her grave.

Even so, her body still burned for this demon. Buffy forced herself to coldly state "I was made for only one man-Angel. Not you. Never you. I may want your body, but it's still Angel's."

 _Liar!_ she miserably shouted to herself.

Angelus' jaw worked furiously at her insult. He had sensed the triumph that had just awaited him. He had sensed and felt Buffy wavering resolve, he knew that she was so close to falling within his grasp. Now her eyes snapped with contempt.

Growling he spat "Give it up Buff! No matter how much you deny it to us both, you want ME."

"No-I-do-not!" His anger lashed at her, making her feel shaken. It also made her feel decidedly heated. She felt the insane urge for him to touch her-whether in anger didn't not matter to her as long as it was in passion. _What is wrong with me? I don't want to want him, but I still do!_

Wolfishly grinning, he refuted her stony words. "Yes-you-do." Her arousal had greatened in intensity during the last few seconds, until it was all Angelus could do to stand there and taunt her when all he wanted to do was rip her pants off and thrust himself into her heat.

While she appeared to have regained her control, their verbal sparring only seemed to enflame her. It was the timeless pursuit of the male and female animal. The male in the role of tireless predator and the female in the role of coquettish prey.

Then she struck with the final insult.

"Angelus I would rather sleep with every member of the swim team than fuck you. You'll never be half the man that Angel was and you'll NEVER be as good in bed as he was."

His control snapped and he grabbed her arms in a punishing grip. "Is that so? Why don't I make a lie out of your words and fuck you over there against that tree, umm?"

"Just try Angel. Go on, I dare you."

"So eager my sweet?"

"Eager to send you home." she replied with saccharine sweetness.

Angelus didn't respond. Their eyes glared, both locked in silent combat. Buffy refused to acknowledge the pain of his fingers digging deeply in her flesh. It was dangerous to tweak the nose of the beast, so why did she have to taunt him? She always seemed to lose any and all reasoning when she was within 10 feet of Angel. Buffy could not help but feel a flicker of fear at the savage ferocity of his face.

Even so, the fear only enhanced the desire.

If he did take her over to the tree, how long would she fight him before she gave in. She lied to Angelus. She felt in her bones with a knowledge as old as time that Angelus would make her want to die of ecstacy.

His expression changed and became assessing. He sniffed at the air slightly and his taut mouth curved into the smallest of smiles. Angelus knew! Before he could lower his head to her mouth, Buffy twisted out of his grip and put several yards of distance between them. _Even though you've been doing a lousy job so far, you HAVE to keep it strictly business Buffy. Remember that he is stalking you. He is going to kill everyone around you and then he'll kill you._

 _No he won't. The demon is going to do it for him._

That last thought sobered her enough to dissipate her burgeoning desire for her enemy. Angelus immediately knew as the heady aroma of her want left him. Staring at his obsession he observed how the uncertain want and confusion melted out of her and became replaced with determination.

Or stubborness, as he saw it.

Damn!

"Even though I hate you Angelus, I don't want to have to kill Angel's body. I'm sure you already know that, but what you don't know is that I will do it if you try to hurt Jeff or anyone else again." Her eyes boldly bored into his. "Consider this your last warning."

Snorting he pinned her with an annoyed look. "Do you know how repetitive you can be? Didn't you just threaten me last night?"

Feeling her composure crack slightly, Buffy shrugged and said "Hey, most vamps are rather slow. How was I supposed to know that you would remember?"

Humorlessly smiling Angelus had to acknowledge the thinly veiled insult. Most vampires WERE stupid. Perhaps it was nature's way of making sure that the world wouldn't be overrun with his kind. How inconvient considering they were the first inhabitants.

Caustically he said "Unfortunately I do remember. Doesn't mean I'll listen. So why don't you listen up instead: I was being nice tonight. I won't again." Lithely strolling towards her he smirked at the brief flash of concern that crossed her face.

"I mean it Angel. Just because I don't want to have to kill you doesn't mean that I won't. I'll stop you any way I can."

"Really? Anyway umm? There's plenty of possibility in that Slayer. "

"W-what?" Seeing the lascivious grin, she blanched and then hissed "I didn't mean that! I meant that I'll beat you at this. You won't win Angel."

Tsking, Angelus chided her with "Don't be so stupid Buff. This is a game I've played for centuries, there's no chance of you winning. Give yourself to me and I'll play nice. If not..." Angelus let the unspoken threat hang in the air.

"I don't bargain with the undead."

"Really? What would you call the past week then?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Everything that we've said and done has been a bargain. I give you things, you give me-your time. I let Halburn live," seeing her confused look Angelus let out a short bark of laughter. "Oh, that's right! You don't even know his name. Sorry sweetheart, Halburn is your pup's last name."

Bristling under his mockery Buffy kept her tightly clenched fists by her side only by a supreme force of will. As she had slowly come to realize over the past week, anger was an intensely satisfying emotion to hide behind. As long as she was furious at Angel she didn't feel the shameful urges that plagued her.

At least most of the time.

"I let that insolent boy live, you act more-reasonable. Really Buff, I'm not as bad as they say."

"As long as what? As long as we play by YOUR rules? Thanks but no thanks." Buffy flippantly replied.

Heaving a great unnecessary sigh, he mournfully said "Okay, baby. Then maybe you'll see things a little differently." Angelus' voice took on a hard edge with his next words. "You ignore me, then all bets are off and we play a whole different game."

"I thought you demons prided yourself on how 'We don't have any human emotions! We're big, bad demons!'", Buffy's voice had dropped to imitate a man's deep baritone, "How does the rest of your weak gang think about you having the hots for the Slayer?"

"Oh lover, I have more than the hots for you" Angelus cheerfully said with a leer.

Wanting to push his buttons, Buffy mock- innocently asked "Angel? Do you want to go back to the way it was before? I mean, you could walk me home again and maybe help me patrol-"

Surprise wiped the smirk off his handsome face. "What?" he sputtered.

Cooing she stepped closer to him until her hand rested on his chest. "C'mon, you can be honest with me. I don't blame you for being what you are, I mean these are dangerous times now, especially for a demon." Cocking her head to the side she said "You really are alot like Angel."

"Angel?!" he bit off in a disgusted tone.

Stroking his cheek she looked up into his eyes and said in a gentle voice "I think there's so much left of him in you. You don't have to be what you are. I can help you-"

Buffy immediately whimpered when Angelus brutally twisted her arm behind her back and hauled her up against his chest. "There is nothing left of Angel little girl. Nothing! Don't you ever compare me to that sniveling, whiney creature!"

"Awww, are you saying that you don't love me?" she asked with a little whine.

His dark eyes burned with an unholy flame. "Love you? Love YOU?! You pathetic girl! The only reason I even look at you is because you were Angel's whore!" Angelus didn't get the chance to finish his tirade because Buffy soundly cuffed the side of his head with her free hand before pulling away from him.

Even though her purpose had been to goad Angel to anger, her heart still bled at his cruelty. However, none of it showed on her face. "It's good to know where we stand then." Yawning, she said "It's way past my bedtime and even if it wasn't, listening to you is enough to make anyone fall asleep."

Angelus made no move to stop her as she boldly walked past him. Instead his eyes bored into her, making her almost feel as if she was feeling his rough caress. His harshly spoken words gave her pause, "You will fall to me Slayer. I will taste your blood and all the angels in heaven will weep. One in particular."

Buffy didn't turn around to see the expression on his face. She didn't have to. She could feel his frustration and fury penetrate her, stabbing her with its' intensity. She made him expose himself, she made him show his true purpose in regards to her and that enfuriated him. She knew it would.

So why didn't she feel triumph? Why did she feel as if a tiny, carefully nurtured hope had suddenly been extinguished?

 _You always knew it Buffy. You've always known what his real intents have been_ she silently admonished herself.

Instead she tightly said "Take a number and get in line Angel. I'm sorry to say that this time you don't have first dibs on me."

Before he could question her, she threw over her shoulder "Oh by the way, there's going to be a new sherrif in town so I suggest you leave. She won't be as nice as I've been." With those cryptic parting words Buffy disappeared in the darkness, walking away from him once again.

Angelus just stared in the direction she left, torn between going after her and leaving things the way they were. Finally he turned away and went in search of his late-night snack. To say that the night had been a disaster was putting it mildly. At first, things seemed to have so much promise. Buffy had reacted exactly as he had expected her to.

Perhaps more enthusiastic than he wanted, but the end result had been the same.

Remembering the blind panic that contorted her lovely face made Angelus frown mightily. It bothered him that she cared so damn much whether the boy lived or not. Even though he knew that she valued a human's life more than her own, in fact it was integral to his plan that she did, it still didn't take the extreme irritation away.

Angelus briefly thought about dumping Halburn's drained body on her front lawn before dismissing it. The present day was not like the times of before. Now there were too many peasants who made it their life's work to solve murders and such. If he gave into impulse, it would make things rather difficult for himself and the Slayer.

Stealthily making his way through the twisting maze of back alleyways that were apart of Sunnydale's seedier district, Angelus thought about the present century he had been thrust into.

In today's society people prided themselves on their logic, their government, and their technology. They could not fathom the existence of a netherworld simply because afterall, they had cell phones and the internet. Anything that could not be explained by science simply did not exist.

A far cry from the centuries of past.

Superstition was fact and legend was doctrine. Besides God and king, only two things stirred fear in the heart of man: strangers and the night. As soon as darkness claimed the sky, only a crazed idiot would brave leaving his warm hut or inviting an unknown in to share his fireside. For all knew that doing so would surely risk tempting the devil with his good Christian soul.

Or a hungry vampire who had the misfortune of being stranded in the countryside.

Coming out of the alley, Angelus saw the midnight-blue lights heralding a club simply known as 'The Cavern'. As soon as the burly doorman saw him, he promptly opened the door murmuring "Enter sir." Angelus was immediately assaulted with pounding techno music, hazy smoke-filled air, the sharp smell of liquor, and the myriad scents of sweat, blood, and lust.

Humans and vampires in a perfect enviroment for the indulgement of vice.

The Cavern was a haven for them both. While nowhere near as popular with the Sunnydale High crowd as The Bronze it held far more appeal for those of different views and tastes. The crowd consisted of twenty-somethings and more than a few Sunnydale High kids. It was the meeting place for people who were labeled 'freaks'. The teens who came here were often ostracized by your run-of-the-mill 'normal' teenagers.

The amusing thing was that the same 'normal' teenagers eventually found their way here after highschool, emulating the very same people they shunned a year before.

Climbing up the stairs to the second floor, he made his way towards the table that was reserved for the 'investors' such as himself. All along the way he flashed a devastating smile to any girl who caught his fancy, yet he never stopped to talk to any of them.

He was more than satisfied that the table was empty, simply because he was in a mood to be left alone. He refused to call it brooding since only Angel did that. _I think there's so much of him left in you..._ Buffy's soft girlish voice floated through him mind. She really didn't believe that did she?

Settling himself on the wide, leather booth Angelus stared over at the large dancefloor filled to the very edges with gyrating bodies. There was a virtual buffet to be had here; young, vibrant flesh in every hue and shape. Vampires freely mingled among them, immediately distinguishable to each other, but never recognizable to humans.

There was only rule here, unknown to the majority of guests, but cardinal knowledge to the owners: no killing.

Here a vampire could come to snack on tasty flesh, perhaps even indulge in more carnal appetites, but that's as far as it could go. If bodies started disappearing or were found drained of blood, not only would his bitch Slayer try to 'shut them down', people would become afraid and simply stop coming.

The Cavern was a form of public assistance amongst his kind. Free meal, no hassle.

Throughout the centuries there had always been at least one form of 'The Cavern' in every large city in Europe. It became a matter of necessity during the times when persecution ran rampant and witch-hunts included far more than the few true witches that were found.

These meeting places were formed to lure the high-ranking government officials and nobility to lend their protection through membership. Not that they saw it as such at first. For these idle sanctimonious men, it was an exclusive oddity that belonged for their pleasure. It was a place where the mind and body met and played in the pursuit of even greater titilation.

The vampires gave their guests every and any sordid desire but all with a price. Their guests could hardly draw attention to the establishments without exposing their own dirty little secrets, so it was in their best interests to keep the club off the all lists. So everyone was safe. Even if some guests eventually found out who their mistresses or lovers really were, there was nothing they could do about it.

Nor did they really want to do anything about it.

For once both species were equals of sorts. The vampires drew their sustenance easily and the humans experienced the heady thrill of animal passion, with no one dying for it.

They protected each other. The human patrons eventually became informants and when the occasional raid became inevitable, the vampires had plenty of warning to make their escape. A few who learned what they were took it a step further by becoming _THEIR_ servants during the day, all in the hopes of keeping their vampire lovers safe or eventually becoming vampire themselves.

One of the few humans at The Cavern who knew what his kind were, brought him a chalice filled with his drink of choice. Casually sipping the warm blood, Angelus wondered if the chesnut haired girl would eventually be brought across. Perhaps Evian, her vampire protector, would wish to. But then again, perhaps not.

Losing himself to past musings, Angelus thought about all the cities he had visited during his travels. As soon as he had been turned, he had left the countryside to the peasants and the mice. To have stayed would have meant starvation or even the torment of being hunted down by the rabble.

It was no coincidence that his kind flocked to London, Edinburgh, Paris, Rome, Milan, Venice, Madrid, Amsterdam, and even the jewel in imperial Russia's royal crown: St. Petersburg. In a cosmopolitan city one could always find people wandering the street no matter the time. Starvation was hardly a fear, unless it was a time of political unrest. Hence, the havens were formed.

His most glorious undertaking had to have been in Russia. His establishment had been named 'The Jeweled Masque' because every male or female in service, human or vampire, was given a jewel encrusted half-mask to wear-and very little else.

No expense was spared and the two-hundred room mansion catered to every concievable desire, not all of them sexual in nature, but enough so that nobles poured in from all parts of the empire to be given a glimpse of his hedonistic heaven, or hell depending on the viewpoint, on earth.

All the ones in service were serfs or vampires that had been serfs. At the time Mother Russia placed more value on a soiled shirt than on the life of a serf, yet even so, their lives were not forfeit in the club. Now the serfs on his three-thousand acre estate, were a different story...

Angelus' lips curved in the tiniest of smiles remembering the human banquets he held in the five-hundred foot long dining hall. Those were definitely the times of an era never to return. He wondered if he was still in possession of the magnificent estate-he would definitely check on it tomorrow.

Then again Angel probably sold it or most likely gave it away as penance for his sins. _Idiot_.

Angelus stiffened as he caught sight of small female moving through the crowd, before relaxing once more. No, it wasn't Buffy.

Surprisingly she never had been here. Most likely she was kept in ignorance of its' existence by her Watcher. While the Council hardly approved of these establishments they saw them as a necessary evil. Anything that kept his kind from killing more of their own was tolerated.

Taking another careless sip he once again wondered at Buffy's parting words. Did she mean that the other Slayer was going to grace Sunnydale with her presence? Why? Or did she mean that she was planning on leaving Sunnydale?

She better not or there would be hell to pay starting first with the Watcher and all the way down the line through her friends, immediate family, distant family, until he reached her.

His sudden anger vanished as quickly as it appeared. Buffy wasn't going anywhere, she wouldn't leave until she felt he was contained or dusted. His reverie about the past slid back as he focused on his present. The twentieth century was a helluva time and he could only be glad that Angel had the decency to step aside so that Angelus could welcome the upcoming millenium...

...and welcome Buffy Summers into his bed.

Resolutely standing up he strolled down to the first floor. Prowling the edge of the dancefloor he scanned the crowd until his eyes met those of a lovely girl standing about twenty feet away. Without a word he walked up to her and led her out to the floor.

The music urged for them to listen and respond to their more baser instincts. Not an inch separated them as they were crushed together by the packed dancefloor. Her scent wafted about him and Angelus could feel more than his bloodthirst respond.

After about ten minutes he silently led her to one of the darkened corridors that surrounded the perimeters of the dancefloor. The music could only be heard as a dull throb here. Several couples were in heated embraces along the walls, hardly paying attention to newcomers, so immersed were they with their own hungers.

Angelus could feel the girl's hesitation so he quickly thrust her against the wall, barely giving her time to let out a cry of apprehension before fiercely capturing her mouth with his own.

Her fear melted into his caress and her lips became soft and pliant beneath his own. Angelus felt her hands clutching his back and he could feel the tips of breasts rubbing against his chest. Thrusting his muscled thigh between her own, he felt the unknown girl writhe against him in search of surcease.

Angelus' fangs began to lengthen and he felt his loins draw up tightly, instinctively wanting to impale the girl from above and below. She was lovely and so willing, unashamed in her desire. Unlike Buffy...

The thought of Buffy did nothing to cool down his ardor, in fact he became more enflamed. It would be so easy to use this girl in the hallway or even in one of the private chambers upstairs. Why shouldn't he?

Roughly pulling her skirt up, Angelus ripped away the scrap of silk and felt her willing flesh dampen his fingers. Unbuttoning his pants, he felt the cool air touch his penis before he encased himself in her burning heat. Growling, he quickly made use of the girl. His fangs entered her just as he felt himself get ready to explode.

Angelus tasted the warm elixir flowing down his throat as he spurted inside the girl. Before he lost himself to his pleasure, he imagined that it was Buffy against the wall. He imagined that it was her thighs that he held in his arms, her moans that rasped in his ear, her flesh that quivered around his own-her blood that nourished him.

Pulling back from the sated female he absently pulled down her skirt, adjusted his own clothing and hypnotically looking into her eyes he murmured "You should go over to the bar and ask for a band-aid. You've got a scratch on your neck, you must have gotten it while we were dancing."

The girl mutely nodded and briefly stumbled as she tried to get her bearings before walking away. She wouldn't remember the feeding but she would remember the hazy feeling of pleasure. Whether she remembered the sex didn't really matter, as long as she didn't remember the blood-letting.

Normally Angelus felt sated after sex but instead he felt edgy and agitated. He couldn't deny that thoughts of the Slayer were to blame. Even though he didn't plan on visiting her tonight, he knew that he would.

Exiting the club, Angelus quickly made his way towards Buffy's home. So far, he hadn't been in her home while she was there (unless he counted the other night). Instinctively he knew that he would be pushing his luck; Buffy wasn't quite ready to deal with him on her own territory. Regardless, she would just have to deal tonight.

He was not in the mood to be denied.

During his encounters with the Slayer all he had done was deny himself. Frankly he was tired of the unnatural self-restraint. The night had been a disaster, but perhaps it could be salvaged. Buffy desired him and loved him, even if only because he was a vivid reminder of his other self.

Therefore the battle was halfway over. All he needed was her undivided attention and perhaps a well-placed threat or two. Not towards any vague unknown male, but someone much closer to her heart like, oh let's say, her mother?

As he approached her street he thought about her wild flight just a couple of hours ago. Jeff Halburn had been listed in stable condition (more the pity) and was well enough to receive visitors. He knew that she would visit Halburn tonight. In fact he had hoped that she would.

So he had patiently waited by the hospital, waiting for his Buffy to show up. After a short while he felt her before he ever saw her. He had idly wondered if she would feel him, before realizing that she had no inkling of his presence. In fact she had walked within fifteen feet without noticing him at all.

It had irked him that her attention was so focused on the poor invalid that she never knew he was there. Silently walking into the hospital Angelus had seen her in the tiny gift shop. He had waited across the hall in the cafeteria while she took an inexorberant amount of time choosing an appropriate gift.

He had unobtrusively made his way behind her after she left the shop and reached the fifth floor several moments after she was already making her way towards room 326. Unseen by the nurse he had slipped into the room next door where he could hear every word said between the two.

He had heard her make her pretty apologies to the boy and had felt her pain when they were rebuffed. He had heard her promise of retaliation against himself and could not help the chuckle escape his lips. _Sure baby, promise him the moon if you need to. You and I know that you have a greater chance at giving him that than stopping me._

He had even felt the flash of Halburn's lust that lingered in the room after Buffy left. That had made Angelus wish he had finished the job last night instead of allowing Buffy to stop him. He was going to go in there and drain the life out of Halburn when a devilishly clever idea struck him.

Q. What was as good as killing Halburn?  
A. Making Buffy BELIEVE that he had killed Halburn!

Slipping out of the room he had made his way past the nurses' station unseen once again, and unerringly made his way down to the first floor. Even though Buffy had already been gone by the time he reached the gift shop, he could feel the incredible aura of sadness that she left behind.

Greedily he drank in her emotions. She was such an emotionally responsive soul. In his opinion, he had only barely touched her ability for pain and passion, and yet he felt as if he were drowning in her emotions. Just how much would she give him when he began in earnest to test her strength?

 _Everything-she will give me everything and so much, much more._

He had walked into the gift shop and had amiably approached the older woman. "I trust that you are doing fine this evening ma'am. I'd like balloon C-8 please." When he had been asked what color ribbon he wanted he answered with no hesitation "Green has always been my lucky color. Must be because I'm Irish."

At that the woman's face had broken in a broad grin as she had explained that she too was of irish descent. Politely Angelus had asked what her family name was and from what county they hailed from. When she had told him, he had been hard pressed not to let the surprise show on his face. He thought that he had wiped out that particular branch in the 19th century during one of visits 'home'.

Apparently not. Smoothly he had replied "I believe I knew a few of your kinsmen ma'am. Lovely family they were, simply lovely." _And so very, very tasty._

At that her face had showed bewilderment as she had wonderingly stated "That's odd. You see, there are only a small number of people in family on the irish side. It seems that the plague killed the majority of them late in the last century, so it's strange that you met even one much less a few."

Grinning at the oddities in life, Angelus had spoken in a heavy brogue which immediately brought the smile back to her face. "Weeell ma bonnie lass-life's full of fey things, ya ken?" And with that he had paid for the balloon and left the shop, all the while whistling a merry irish tune.

Finding blood to smear on his gift had been a fairly simple matter. As he had walked through the automatic doors, he swiped a claw down the back of a entering man's neck. The security guard had turned around because of the sharp prick but Angelus was already gone, only the faint melody of his tune had remained behind.

Angelus had wasted no time to reach the Summers' residence so he could leave a gift for his own bonnie lass. She had been on patrol so it would be no problem to enter her home. He had seen that Buffy's mother was in the living room, so he had entered through her bedroom window quietly.

Standing in the middle of the room he had let the balloon go to tap on her ceiling. There would be no way for her to miss it. He had only been able to imagine her surprise and shock at the sight of the yellow balloon. There would be no need to leave her a written note, she would more than comprehend his silent message.

And it had worked so beautifully.

He could barely keep up with her on her mad flight to Sunnydale Memorial. When she dashed past the security desk, he had merely strolled in and just as leisurely made his way towards the elevators. The stairwell door had just clanged shut when he calmly stepped into elevator number four.

Humming to himself, Angelus patiently waited as the elevator opened on all floors before finally depositing him on the fifth floor. Buffy had still been arguing with the night-duty nurse as he rushed past them. Even then she had not felt him, not even the tender pat to her derriere he had placed as he sped past them both.

He had felt her steadily growing dread as she finally made her way to room 326. He had heard her slowly draw in breath to strengthen herself to the sight of carnage that surely awaited her beyond the door. _Oh this was definitely worth letting Halburn live!_ he had gleefully thought.

Her shock and relief hit him in a blast of sudden emotion. The sharply ringing alarm sounded a few seconds later and Angelus had heard two sets of feet pounding closer. Making his way out of the room, the nurse and guard never saw him, only felt a slight breeze as he sped past them both and slipped into an open elevator.

The sight of Buffy trying to stumble towards home brought out the animal within. It would be so easy to strike. She was so beautiful and enchanting in her vulnerability. It had all worked so beautifully and she was ready for the taking.

Or so he thought.

His glorious manipulations ended as soon as she opened her mouth. From there on, everything had gone straight to hell. She should have been cowering in fear of him, desperately eager to appease him in any way.

Instead she ended up threatening the end of his existence before calmly strolling away from him. Again.

It was past time his Slayer had been brought to heel.

Nimbly hopping up to the roof, Angelus made move to open the window when he felt an intense, searing heat. Hissing he pulled his hands away from the wood. Looking at his palms he could see that they were burned.

Immediately he knew that holy water had been sprinkled on the wood. Drawing his hand into a fist, he made move to punch the glass in when he saw a large wooden crucifix. Shielding his eyes Angelus moved back away from the window. Even if he averted his face it would make no difference. He knew that the cross was there so the pain was just as intense.

Furiously he checked all the windows and doors to find the same result: holy water and crucifixes. He was firmly barred from her home just as effectively as if she had cast an uninvitation spell.

His rationale told him to go back to the factory and regroup while his instincts ordered him to stay, even if only to watch from afar. He was steeped in the throes of a mind-numbing fury. He could not believe that she had thwarted him so completely.

Landing on the ground, Angelus balefully stared at the lone window wondering if his enemy was asleep or awake. Was she staring back at him, smug in her knowledge of his defeat? Was she standing off to the side, peering through the lace curtains watching him, gloating because she believed she was safe?

Feeling the painful throbbing in his hands Angelus let out a string of curses. The demon within howled. It clamored for her blood and for her final submission. How dare she think herself beyond his power? How dare she think herself untouchable to him?

His lust had deepened until it bordered on madness. He wanted to hurt her. He wanted to fuck her senseless. He wanted to hear her beg for mercy. He wanted to claim her for his own tonight and then he wanted to spit on her grave.

Then he wanted to await her rising, when she would become his for eternity.

He was only a few yards away and yet she was completely out of his reach. _You will pay for this Buffy. You WILL pay._

Making his way across the street, Angelus waited and watched. His eyes never wavered from the lace covered window. Every fiber within was trained completely on one thought: vengeance.

As the hours wore by Angelus felt his hate-filled passion pull and twist within his mind. The Slayer's voice, scent, face and body raked his memory. He hated her so much. He hated her for denying her need to him. He hated her loving Angel. He hated her for being human. He hated her for being a Slayer. He hated her for locking herself away from him. He hated her for making him wait outside in the cold when he should be in her bed.

But most of all he hated her because he was powerless to leave.

He stayed watching her window all night long until he could smell the upcoming dawn and even then, Angelus lingered wondering if perhaps she would rise early so he could catch a glimpse of her. Finally, he only had minutes to make for the safety of his lair.

Even though he never saw her, Angelus had to be satisfied in that by feeling her presence somehow he knew Buffy had felt him too.

It wasn't enough but it would have to be-for tonight.


	13. Chapter 13

Buffy DID know that Angelus had been outside. In fact, she fell into an uneasy sleep only after he left. The entire night had been spent with her watching him-watch her. She had no doubt that Angel knew she had been behind the curtains, waiting and observing his reaction to being denied entrance to her home.

Only she did not watch in smug triumph. She watched in stark wariness.

In her heart she knew that this would be the night Angelus would finally try to have sex with her. She had also known in her heart that she would not be strong enough to stop him. Not in the physical sense, but the emotional one.

That was why she finally took the precautions to bar him. It had been long overdue. Buffy was grateful, in a way, that Angel wanted to tease and torment her. Her mother might have been killed by now because of her hesitation.

When she heard him on the roof, Buffy's heart felt as if it had been lodged in her throat. She had backed away from the window when she heard him hiss in pain. She hadn't been sure if the holy water and crosses would be enough. If not...

Apparently it had been because she soon heard him cursing on the ground. She had fully expected him to awaken the whole neighborhood with his fury, in fact she had hoped that he would. Angelus would have been forced to leave if everyone on her street came outside.

Instead he had angrily stalked across the street, half-way hid himself, and just stared. For hours he never moved, never fidgeted, he just held himself completely still. That seemed infinitely more menacing to Buffy than if he had yelled and threatened her from the front yard.

While sitting in third period Buffy saw, in her mind's eye, Angel's face. The deadly rage could be clearly seen all the way across the street. His features could have been carved in stone, they were that resolute.

Buffy shivered at the memory. His hatred had never shown itself more clearly than it had during the long hours between the dead of night and the approaching dawn.

When she had checked in with Giles before school he had been hunched over several texts, completely immersed and lightly muttering to himself. When he had finally realized she was standing there, he quickly stood up despite his weariness. The expression on his face mirrored her own: _You look like Hell._

Buffy KNEW she did. There were dark circles under her eyes and everything seemed to hang limply, from her ponytail to her clothes. Giles hardly looked any better; his shirt was rumpled, dark whiskers shaded his jaw and his eyes looked positively bloodshot.

Unfortunately he hadn't had any success durning his all-night research session. Hopefully he had found some escape clause out of the prophesy after she left. Giles had remembered another book that he needed to check in that might be able to help.

With a heavy sigh she thought _Probably not._ Buffy tried to force herself into a better frame of mind. If she was going to stop an ancient demon and possibly save the world, she had better get an attitude adjustment. It was hard though.

Idly scanning the room Buffy saw that Cynthia was staring at her. The girl didn't say a word nor did the expression on her face change. After another moment she looked away from Buffy and stared at the board.

Her expression didn't seem hostile, just assessing. It was as if she were sizing Buffy up. For what? Just because she helped her out yesterday? If so, why hold it against her? Buffy just shook her head. Maybe she was just reading too much into it.

Later that afternoon she was sitting at a table in the library with the gang. The much subdued gang. Whereas the day before everyone had been talking and joking, now they were all sitting in an uncomfortable silence. Buffy finally said "Geez, I've seen happier people at a wake."

The tension only deepened.

"Okay, definitely not a funny. Remind me not to quit my day job."

The uncomfortable silence dropped another notch.

Buffy looked around the table and asked "I know I stink at telling jokes, but is it the jokes or me?"

Everyone looked at each other before Xander spoke up. Fiddling with his pencil he said "It's not the jokes, even though they WERE pretty lame," his nervous grin was immediately quelled when he caught Willow's frown. "It's just that we don't know...what to say or how to act."

"Do we just act like nothing's going to happen or do we, you know, talk about it?" Willow queried. "It's not everyday that you learn that your best friend is going to-"

"Die." Buffy finished when Willow's eyes began to water.

"Avoidance or acknowledgement." Oz, the master of the five words or less sentence, quietly explained.

Cordelia mutely nodded her head when Buffy made eye contact, surprisingly silent for a change. Sitting forward in her chair Buffy spoke to all in an understanding voice "I know this has to be hard for all of you..." pausing she wrinkled her brow and said "Well, maybe not for you Cordelia..."

At this the offended future socialite crossed her arms indignantly. "Hey! I'll have you know that I DO have feelings!"

"Yeah, you have feelings like _Aww look the poor, cute little homeless puppy. Euw! Euw! It's dirty, it's so NOT coming home with me! I don't care if it's raining outside and it's the middle of winter!_ " Xander sarcastically jeered while leaning on the back legs of his chair.

Raising her voice Cordelia rebutted him with, "I'm so for the humane treatment of animals. Just because I don't bring home _every_ stray that crosses my path...!"

Immediately sitting forward Xander yelled, "Stray! Oh sister it'll take a lot more than-" Before Xander could finish Buffy quickly cut in with "Cordelia-I'm sorry that I insulted you. Xander-chill!"

Cordelia silently fumed while Xander grudgingly muttered "You can't get any more chill than me. I invented chill."

Buffy caught Willow's bemused look at the same time she saw a glimmer of understanding in Oz's. Looking back at Xander and Cordelia she could see that even though they were furious, they both could not stop furtively glancing at the other. _Xander? Cordelia? Oh my god, like that's a thought I really wanted to have!_

Coming back to topic she started over again. "This has got to be uncomfortable to the extreme, I know. If there was a way that I could've kept you guys from knowing-I would have taken it. But now that you do know-if anybody wants to back out or keep their distance I'll understand."

Buffy would understand if any or all of them said "It's been great knowing ya but this is WAY too deep!" Still, she held her breath as she waited. Willow was the first to say "Buffy, I...there's no way I'm backing out! We're buds and you need me."

"Yeah Buffy, I'm here till the end." Xander firmly stated. Realizing the finality of his statement he quickly corrected it with "But you know that the end isn't going down in eight weeks! I meant the end being, you know, a long, LONG time from now. Hell, you'll probably be here past MY end-"

Smiling Buffy laid a hand on his arm and said "I know what you mean Xander."

"Hey Buffy-I'm in."

Looking over to Oz, she gently smiled and thanked him. There was only one person left. Everyone expectantly looked at Cordelia. "What?" she asked in exasperation. When no one answered she seemed to finally get it. "Oh." Letting out a long suffering sigh Cordelia said "Since Buffy has done so much stuff for people and all, it's only right that I help when I can. Besides it makes for good karma."

"And by the time you finish, you'll reap the reward of coming back as a mosquito in the next life!" Xander flippantly commented, not being able to pass up the chance.

"That's better than what you'd come back as; if I'm a mosquito you'll be the pile of crap that I'll land on!"

"Crap! You know all about that, don't you Cordelia-"

WWIII was averted when Giles approached the table carrying a surprisingly slim text. Without preamble he stated "Ms. Calendar and I have found out some information on the demon Buffy will face." Everyone's attention swung to the Watcher.

Buffy looked around the library and guardedly asked "Where's Ms. Calendar?" Even though a truce had been declared, her feelings were very much undecided in regards to the computer teacher.

"Hmm? Oh, um, Ms. Calendar was unable to stay this afternoon. What we did find out is this: his name is Acrymydion and while not being one of the true ancients, he is several millenia old."

"Acr- what was it again?"

"Acrymydion Buffy."

"Acry-my-dion." She let the name roll off her tongue. Now her foe had a name if not a face. Wrinkling her nose Buffy complained "Why can't they ever have any pronouncable names? Why can't they have nice simple names like Bob or Tony?"

Distractedly Giles answered "Because demons aren't nice or simple." Laying down the text on the table in front of her, he flipped to a bookmarked passage. "It says here that he is one of the enforcers of the balance between the netherworld and this world. Any disturbance between the worlds will call him forth."

"What kind of disturbance? And why is he after Buffy?" Willow questioned.

Looking over to her Giles frowned as he answered "I'm not sure yet. Normally he is called against those who are trying to harness enormous amounts of black magic."

"Why would anyone want to do that?"

"For several reasons Xander: greed, destruction of an enemy, world domination" murmured Giles.

"Well Buffy's not doing any of that, are you?"

Wryly she said "No Cordelia, I'm not attempting to take over the world and all I destroy is vampires."

Willow then queried "Do you think he's going after Buffy because she's a Slayer?"

Standing back up the Watcher shook his head. "No, it doesn't seem to be because of her calling. Her slaying isn't what is being mentioned in the portent."

After digesting all that had been said Oz asked "But since Acrymydion is a demon and Buffy kills demons, wouldn't that make for an angry enforcer?"

"That's a good point Oz but not in this case. You see, just as in our world, there are factions in the netherworld. The more vampires Buffy destroys the stronger his particular kind becomes. In fact, vampires and shift-changers are violent enemies."

"Shift-changers?" Buffy confusedly asked.

"Umm, this demon is a shift-changer. Wait, let me show you another text that explains them..." Giles quickly strode over to a shelf, ran his fingers over several books, before giving an exclamation and pulling out a tiny tome.

Coming back to the table the librarian laid the small book in front of her. Four chairs scraped back and everyone crowded around Buffy to see the faded illustrations. "Shift-changers are as it states here _the weavers of fantasies and the destroyers of dreams._ They can come in any form and at any time. There is no sanctuary to be had, nor is there any talisman that can be used against them."

"So I can't just hold up a cross or give it a holy-water bath, huh?"

"No Buffy, that's what makes it so dangerous. All religious artifacts offer no protection whatsoever. A shift-changer can enter a church, become a priest, perform absolutions, and all the while unharmed. It is seemingly invincible."

Everyone bleakly digested Giles disheartening words before Oz spoke up again. "Nothing's invincible. It has to have a weakness."

Nodding her head Cordelia said, "Oz is right. There has to be a way to take him down-if not, what's the point? If Buffy was toast then Acro...Acri...oh whatever! The shift-changer wouldn't have to wait until the prophesized day, right? He'd be able to kill her at anytime!"

Her face brightening, Willow breathlessly exclaimed, "Ooh, Cordelia's right! She has to be!"

"Way to go Cordelia! Power-shopper by day, riddler-solver by night." Xander praised, a glow softening his eyes. Cordelia basking in her glory, turned slightly pink at Xander's look.

Clearing his throat Giles waited until he had everyone's attention again. "Risking being, umm, very negative about our small victory, I have to state that while coming to this conclusion helps-we still don't know why exactly Acrymydion will be summoned. And more importantly why he is being sent after Buffy."

Knowing Giles was right, Buffy still couldn't help muttering, "Party pooper." Standing up she started pacing. A shift-changer felt threatened enough by her to come out of his world. Why?

Buffy paused in the middle of the room when she heard Oz ask, "When she stops him, are his demon buddies going to drop by for a little revenge?"

Swinging her gaze back to Giles, Buffy forcefully said, "Please tell me there aren't more shift-changers coming to Sunnydale!" It was a thought that hadn't occurred to her. To hope that she could LIVE through Acrymydion was going to be pushing it. If there were more-she might as well get her tombstone ordered.

Before answering, Giles quickly read a page in the small text. Nodding his head in satisfaction, he shut the book and said a relief-filled voice, "He has only one chance, if-" clearing his throat awkwardly he corrected, "WHEN he fails, others cannot be called against her."

"That's a relief!" Wrinkling her nose Buffy asked "But why?"

"Why? Of all the questions to ask, the one that deals with _The evil demon gets one chance to kill me, gee, why is that?_ would not be one of them!" Xander emphatically declared.

Rolling her eyes Buffy answered, "Look, it's my death being talked about here. I just want to make sure that there is no mistaking the one-shot deal Acrmydion has!" Turning back to her Watcher she said, "So, my question is why?"

"I'm not sure if I know completely WHY the demon is only allowed one try, but from what I understand the balance between the two worlds are very delicate. If a shift-changer is out of his dimension for too long that in itself will create a disturbance. If its' energy is focused in one direction for too long it will create a disturbance. If enough disturbances are created, then the energy will in essence backfire on the shift-changer."

Buffy stared at Giles for a few moments, nodded her head and then asked, "Okay...and this means what?"

Giles took his time to answer before lamely saying, "I, um...don't know."

Willow, the eternal optimist, piped up with, "Well, at least we know for sure that Acrymydion has one chance. All we have to do is find out why and then, you know, make a plan of attack!"

"Great! A couple of nights of looking through Giles' world-famous occult books and then we're all cool...right?" Xander gushed.

"H-e-l-l-o? Anybody forgot about a little thing called prophesized death?" Cordelia put in bluntly.

"No, but now that we know what Buffy has to fight against, there's no way it's coming true!" Willow firmly stated.

While wanting to feel as confident as Willow, Buffy knew that prophesies were never to be taken lightly. If the scrolls, texts, and electronic information agreed that she would die-then she would die. Her only hope was that her death was only in the most technical terms. If they knew how to destroy the shift-changer, then she could do it, die, and then get revived.

At least that was her plan.

If she wasn't meant to cheat death again-so be it. However, that didn't mean that she wouldn't TRY.

"Giles, what does a shift-changer look like? I mean is he blue and scaly or what?" she asked.

"They have no true form. They can be anything or anyone. Whereas vampires are imprisoned in human bodies with only the ability to show their true face, shift-changers are not bound in any way. They can look like a human, animal, plant, or object."

The more Buffy was learning about her enemy, the harder it seemed to defeat. How can you defeat something when you don't even know its' face? Oz HAD to be right, it had to have a weakness. "So...he could look like anything? Do you have an idea what he would want to look like? I mean, he probably works on a case-by-case basis, but can we take a guess?"

"It has been said that shift-changers usually appear as one's greatest fear or greatest desire. The offender becomes so terror-striken or so enamored that they are helpless and ripe for the ensuing attack."

Angel her greatest desire. Angelus her greatest fear.

Each bit of information that Giles released, the worse this demon became. If it truly read her heart, that was an even greater reason why she HAD to stay away from Angelus. Sunnydale was not a large town so she couldn't very well avoid him, but neither could she stay and _chat_ as she had been doing.

If she could distance herself from him, then perhaps the shift-changer would not be able to read him as her greatest anything. _Angelus isn't going to stay away. He'll follow you everywhere you go. He'll force you to feel for him, whether love, hate, or anger. What are you going to do?_

Buffy was distracted from the disturbing vein of thought by Willow's next question. "Do you know anything else, Giles?"

Turning away from Buffy, Giles answered Willow. "No, I'm afraid not. This is all the information I have at the present."

"Okay then-this calls for research." Walking towards the computer library, Willow plopped in front of the screen. Oz immediately pulled up a chair next to her, leaving Xander and Cordelia standing rather awkwardly together. Rubbing the back of his neck, he nonchalantly said "This could get dangerous."

Cordelia shifted and agreed. "Dangerous? Yes, I think you're right."

Looking into her eyes, Xander drew slightly closer. "I mean, if we don't find stuff out, it could get pretty ugly."

Licking her lips, she stared at his mouth and said "Really, really ugly." After another second they simultaneously said "We're going to the stacks!" and promptly disappeared to the back of the library.

Shaking her head, Buffy wryly smiled and thought _Stranger things have happened_. Turning back to Giles she brightly smiled and asked "Okay, what's my assignment?"

"You're to continue as you have, patrolling and such."

"What? I don't get to look in, well, something and help out?" Buffy slightly pouted.

Letting out a surprised laugh Giles responded with "Are you actually trying to tell me that you want to research? You want to pore through 10, 20, 30 books, some in different languages which would require you to use a foreign language dictionary-"

"Okay, okay I get the point. I don't know, I just...wanted to...I don't know. You're right, I should patrol."

Frowning concernedly, Giles asked Buffy a question that she did not want to hear. "How are things coming along with Angelus?"

His question sounded so civilized. _How are things coming along with Angelus? Have you staked, burnt, or decapitated him yet? Umm?_ Things were not coming along with Angelus, that was the problem! "Things are..." she paused before blurting out "Things are quiet. He's been pretty-quiet."

Even though they spoke in a soft murmur, all movement in the library discreetly stopped. Buffy could not tell anyone of how she had been 'consorting with the enemy', not once, but several times. Of how she had received his gifts. Of how she dreamed of him. Of how she was beginning to ache for him. Of how his allure became stronger each time she saw him.

 _Remember, you're not on your own time anymore. Angelus is not Angel. You CAN'T waste even this thought on him anymore._

"Are you trying to tell me that he hasn't spoken to you, left any tokens or gifts, and hasn't been lurking around your home?" the librarian asked in an unruffled tone of voice.

"No, he hasn't. He's been pretty quiet the past week, but I, wouldn't trust it for very long." _Deep violet flowers, jeweled pins, strawberries, a priceless choker, an expensive lipstick case, a luxurious fur, and hundreds of candles, all tokens of Angel's quietness._

"Quiet, hmm?"

"Yeah, quiet. So...I think that everyone should just be careful."

"Careful?"

"Yes, I don't anyone making it easy for him-" at this her voice faltered slightly, "-to hurt one of you." _You ignore me...we play a whole new game..._

"But you just said things have been quiet. Why do you think he would attack any one of us?" the librarian probed.

"Isn't that part of his reputation?" she asked in exasperation. Giles did not appear to accept her reasoning and if he didn't, then she would have to confess. But how would she be able to bear their contempt?

"It is, but only if he is pursuing his victim. I must confess that I'm surprised that he has not focused his attention upon you. Angel loved you and that alone should have directed his hate towards you."

Shrugging she blandly said "Maybe he's found something else to preoccupy his time? I don't know what else to say Giles-he's been quiet. He's supposed to be crazy and violent-" _Jeff Halburn's bruised and broken body lays in Room 326 courtesy of one Angelus the Demon Vampire in a fit of jealousy_ "-I don't trust it Giles, that's all."

His keen gaze seemed to penetrate, weighing her words and trying to determine the truth. Buffy felt a flush creep up her face but she forced herself to maintain eye contact with her Watcher. _He doesn't think you're guilty of anything, but if you keep fidgeting and acting guilty then duh! He'll suspect something!_

 _Aren't you? You're still thinking about HIM. Even now, after all this, you're still thinking about HIM._

 _I don't understand it! I don't know why! I don't know why I still think about him, especially now. HIM. Not Angel. Angelus. It doesn't make any sense! I love Angel. I don't love HIM._

Buffy felt an eternity of guilt-ridden agony before Giles nodded his head and spoke to the room at large. "May I have everyone's attention? I've just spoken to Buffy concerning Angelus and I've come to this decision: all of you need to take the necessary precautions once night falls. Angelus has a history of tormenting and stalking everyone around his victim. As of now, Buffy doesn't seem to attract his attention..."

The librarian's voice became a warble as Buffy remembered Angelus' cold, hate-filled face staring at her last night. _You will fall to me Slayer...and all the angels in heaven will weep. One in particular._

"...however, large groups provide better safety and always keep your crosses and stakes prepared. Even though Acrymydion is Buffy's biggest threat, it doesn't mean that Angelus does not pose one."

"He wouldn't be one if Buffy hadn't had a case of mistaken identity," Xander muttered to the room at large before turning away, taking Cordelia with him and disappearing behind a bookcase. Willow and Oz awkwardly avoided looking at Buffy before turning back to the computer screen. Their silence spoke more loudly than words could have in that they agreed with Xander.

Buffy stood in the center of the room, feeling slightly lost and completely alone. All of her friends were going above and beyond the duties of friendship. Willow could be doing homework, Cordelia could be doing her hair, Oz could be practicing with his band, and Xander could be doing...what did he do?, well he could be doing Xander-things, yet they were here trying to help her.

And yet she betrayed them all. She betrayed them with her silence. And she would keep betraying them all. Xander was right-Angelus wouldn't be posing a threat to anyone if only she had done her job. Instead, he roamed the streets all because she couldn't separate his evil from Angel's struggle for redemption.

 _Will you get them killed by keeping silent? Is your disgusting obsession worth their lives?_ No! she emphatically answered herself. Even if she had to survive off of a few hours of sleep, she would protect them all. It was better that they didn't know about the past week. Buffy couldn't bear to see the respect in their eyes vanish and turn to disgust. It was selfish of her, she knew it, yet she couldn't let them know. Ever.

Buffy felt a large hand gently squeeze her shoulder in sympathy. Looking up into her Watcher's gentle eyes she heard him say "I know this is hard for you. Seeing Angelus cannot be easy, so I understand that killing him seems impossible to do, but you must do it when the time comes."

Finding it hard to speak past the lump in her throat Buffy hoarsely whispered "I know Giles. I know." _But how?_ she miserably thought. _How do I kill them both? Without Angelus there is no Angel. Without Angel there is no Angelus. I love Angel so much, I can't bear the thought of destroying his body. I can't bear the thought of Angelus never touching me...No! I mean I can't bear the thought of Angel never touching me!_

Not wanting to face her disturbing emotions Buffy forced her face to become blank. Giles saw her distancing herself from her feelings and felt helpless. He knew how to train her, he knew how to guide her, but he did not know how to help her in this matter. He didn't know how to break her out of her self-imposed shell.

 _She just needs time. Buffy has never failed in her duty before, she won't fail now._

"Earth to Giles?" Shaking himself from his thoughts, Giles focused on Buffy's words. "I'm off to patrol. Do you want me to come back here tonight?"

"Hmm? Oh, um, not tonight. After you finish your patrol, go home and rest. I'll take the children home when we're done here."

Nodding her head, she walked over to her bag and slung it over her shoulder. She paused in mid-stride when she heard her Watcher ask once more "Buffy-are you sure he's done nothing else?"

Shrugging her shoulders and shaking her head, she answered "Nope. He's been quiet."

"Yes, you've said that several times" the librarian murmured. Seeing that she was waiting for him to speak further, Giles politely said "You can go now Buffy. Umm, have a good patrol."

"Okay, see you tomorrow!" Calling out "Bye" to everyone she left for patrol, leaving her Watcher in a very uneasy mood.

Across town in the factory, Angelus was impatiently waiting for his clan to gather in the main room. Fixing the last stragglers with a glacial glare he began. "I'm going to make this short and to the point, so that even you can understand." Sweeping all the upturned faces with a glare, he ordered "The Slayer is mine. No one, I repeat, NO ONE is to try to take her. She is going to my kill, not yours. If I find out that any of you have disobeyed me," pausing he fixed an especially stern expression at the mutinous faces of Spike and Druscilla, "I will personally rip out every bone in your body starting with your feet. Believe me it can be done, without sending you to hell."

Standing in the middle of the raised dais, he changed his tone of voice and politely asked "Any comments?" From the front of the crowd, a voice called out "But sir, she is our enemy! It is our duty to destroy her if given the opportunity!"

Staring up at the ceiling Angelus appeared to mull it over before waving his hand. Immediately from the back of the room, two burly guards shoved their way to the front, grabbing the vocal vampire and dragging him out of the room. Fairly purring, he asked again "Any comments?" This time the room was deathly silent. "Good. If you value your hides, then you'll leave the Slayer to me."

With that he swept from the room and into the night. Everyone dispersed fairly quickly, eager to avoid their master and the Slayer. Blind obedience was all they knew for those who thought for themselves were quickly weeded out. Unless, their intelligence was masked...

An hour later Spike held his own meeting in his quarters. Nothing too large to give Angelus' spies any fodder to run with, but large enough to suit Spike's purposes. Before him stood his three personal commanders. When Angelus returned Spike knew that it would be better to cede position for the time being. Publicly he gave all rights of leadership to Angelus including command of their private army. All orders were directed through a chain of command whose leader was Angelus. All belonged to the great Irish Prick.

Except for these three.

On the surface they appeared to be like any other slobbering demon, yet not only did they possess keen intelligence they possessed something far more greater: blind loyalty. Spike had 'rescued' them from the gallows during a jaunt through London last century. He did it more as a dare, just to see if he could waltz right into London's most notorious prison. Not only did he do it, he waltzed right out with all three corpses and buried them himself. He had doubted that the prison would take the time for burial and he had a feeling about the three ex-mercenaries.

Upon their rising they had given him complete and utter loyalty. Quickly they had shown the ability to work together as a flawless unit, and their keen intelligence could be unnerving at times. Even now, they were the perfect spies. They had quickly adopted the blank stare that separated the riff-raff from the elder vampires. For all Angelus knew, they were newly risen beasts and no importance to him. If the other creatures realized the difference in their previous leaders, they were too dull-witted to understand. Angelus did not realize how dangerous they were to his position and how essential they were to Spike's position.

Spike WOULD regain control of this clan, there was no doubt about it at all. Leaning forward in his chair he pinned all three of his personal commanders with a steely stare before saying "Alright children, this is how it's really going to be..."

So began the dance between Buffy and Angelus. Night after night they fought for the opportunity to lead. He appeared everywhere. She always caught sight of him, barely out of the corner of her eye. When she would turn to face him, he was gone-but never far.

He even began trailing her friends, though they never knew it. Buffy began to smother them, enough so that one night Willow complained "I like this 'let's all hang out together every minute of every night' thing but it's getting to be too much Buffy!"

Buffy had been encouraging them all to stay together in a group, just so she could keep an eye on them. Though, she didn't tell them that. The Bronze became their fav hangout but even then Buffy didn't feel that they were completely safe. Anytime one of the group got up, she would trail after them, whether to the bar or bathroom. After following Xander to the john one evening, she realized that she was being far from discreet in her fear of Angelus.

Although, they didn't seem to think that was what it was. Her friends assumed that her separation anxiety stemmed from Acrymydion. Buffy didn't mind them thinking the shift-changer was the problem, she would rather them think that than know the truth. The truth being that it wasn't Acrymydion that made her clingy, it was the dark menace in the corner watching them all...

What Buffy found even more odd was the quietness of her patrols. After escorting everyone home, she would go on her nightly rounds but most nights the only creature of the night she would encounter was a night owl or bat.

She still laced her house with crosses and holy water. Once her mother noticed the crucifixes and asked why she was doing it. Buffy had lamely answered "I think I'm ready to give religion another try. You don't mind do you?" This only caused her mother to shake her head and walk out with a bemused look on her face.

If only Angelus would come out and face her! Instead he kept to the shadows and while wanting her to know he was close by, he avoided any direct contact. He had been so furious the night she kept him out, she was sure he would try to retaliate, but nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Sometimes when she would walk by an alley-way she would see him standing at the other side, staring straight at her. Instinctually she would run through, not even hesitating at the thought of a trap, only to see him calmly walk away before she reached him and then disappearing.

Angelus would be delighted to know that he completely consummed her thoughts day and night. She was on edge for fear of him hurting her loved ones, she was on edge because he was toying with her, and she was on edge because she missed him.

Missed him?

 _I do not miss him!_ she vehemently thought. She just missed Angel, that was all. Kicking at a rock, Buffy felt a little lonely. Tonight was the first night that she and the gang did not hang out. They had claimed to be too tired and only wanted to stay home. Home was were they needed to be and it was the safest place. Just that afternoon, Willow had found an uninvitation spell which she had performed for all of their houses. Now, they could rest a little easier at night, although the spell would mean jack-shit if their parents invited a vampire in.

That's why Buffy had already made sure that the parents were made aware not to invite anyone in after dark. They didn't know the truth of course, but instead had been told that there were a ring of thieves who came after dark posing as salesmen, lost strangers, people in need of help, etc. and after being invited in, proceeded to steal all valuables.

What they did not know was the most valuable thing that could be stolen was not the home entertainment system, computer, or jewelry but life itself. The parents seemed to take the warning seriously.

Feeling the wind pick up, Buffy shivered slightly. It seemed that the unseasonably warm weather was leaving. Striding across the park, she hoped that patrol wasn't going to be as boring as every other night.

It had quickly turned into a very chilly evening. A fact that escaped Buffy considering she was far from cold. In fact she was fairly sweating from the exertion of fighting four vampires at once. She had just walked into a clearing in the middle of the park when they seemingly came out of nowhere. The fight was brutal and intense, with no immediate end in sight. Just when she almost had one at a disadvantage, the other three were there to tip the scales out of her favor.

Although the odds were obviously against her, Buffy felt virtually no fear. Her fate was decided and it was not going to be by these idiots. One vampire knocked her to the ground with a powerful kick but she just quickly picked herself up and tauntingly grinned. Perhaps knowing your predicted death wasn't such a horrible thing. Did that mean she was being moody?

Maybe. After all, Buffy had a definite advantage in knowing that she could not be killed, at least by the vampire population. They didn't know that. They also didn't know that tonight was a bad night to gang up on her.

"Come on! Is that the best you guys got?" she complained.

Growling menacingly the apparent leader spat "We're going to tear you to pieces Slayer!"

"Oooh! Scary! Really, you almost delivered that perfectly-too bad it's so cliche!" Buffy brightly said before going into her final attack. She moved so quickly that her movements became a blur that was impossible to follow. Blow after blow landed, seemingly simultaneously, while they were not even able to deliver nary a scratch.

Suddenly the four vampires pulled back and quickly fled. "What? I thought we were just having fun!" Buffy lightly spoke under her breath. Pulling out four stakes, she deliberately took aim and flung each one. Within seconds the sounds of four demons exploding briefly filled the air before the night settled back into silence.

"Excellent aim, Slayer." A dark, sensuous voice floated towards her from the darkness. Her insides immediately clenched. It was beginning. Buffy pulled all of her emotions in and her face became an expressionless mask. Picking up her bag, she purposely walked in the opposite direction from where Angelus stood, indolently leaning against the playground swings.

She heard him a split-second before he struck. Her hand whipped out and caught his own, flinging him to the ground with the force of his own momentum. Calmly she continued walking. Suddenly he stood in front of her. Dropping any pretense at civility he bit out "You little cock-tease! I bet you thought it was real cute to see me locked out of your home, hmm? I've waited a week just so that I wouldn't kill you!"

Buffy remained silent. That infuriated him even more. Glaring at her hatefully he ordered "Don't you ever do that again, do you understand? Answer me!"

Lifting her eyes, she calmly stared at him before answering "Fine."

"What do you mean, fine?" he barked.

"I won't put holy-water or crosses on the windows or doors. Satisfied?" _I'll just let the uninvitation spell do the work for me._ Buffy could see that Angelus was surprised at how easy she had acquiesed to his demand. He was torn between distrust and arrogance. Distrust because the battle was won too easily and arrogance that she would have no desire other than to bend to his will.

His arrogance won over. Smugly smiling, he smoothly said "I see that you've decided to play nice. Good girl. I won't punish you too badly because of your naughtiness." Lifting his hand, he went to stroke her cheek before being stopped a hairsbreadth away.

Frowning he made to move his hand but Buffy's hold was unshakable. "I'm not playing at all Angel." Coldly staring at him, she nonchalantly stated "It's time for you to play with people your own age. I'm way too young for you and frankly, you're just way to old and boring for me."

"You didn't think I was boring when I almost fucked you the other night." he crudely taunted. Avidly he awaited for his barb to ruffle her composure, but he waited in vain.

"Sure, Angelus, whatever." She let her eyes slowly peruse him from the top of his inky hair, to the tips of his polished boots. "Angelus-you're a bore. I've thought about why I seemed drawn to you, other than the obvious, and now I've finally figured it out. I thought there was more than just the bad rap, but there's not. You called me repetitive, but I think that description fits you better."

"You talk to me as if you HAVE a right to tell me what to do. You do this whole demented jealousy act, and that's what? Supposed to impress me?" Giggling, she finished with "From now on Angelus, you don't exist to me. It's like you're not even there." Flinging his arm away, she started walking away. Again. _That has got to be the BIGGEST lie you've ever told, Buffy._ So what? The important thing was for Angel to buy it, and hopefully, leave her alone.

Snarling Angelus pulled her back by her hair, catching Buffy by surprise. Not an inch separated their bodies as he growled "Oh I think I'll exist for you Buff. I'll exist for you when you find the body parts. I'll exist for you when your brat pack disappears. I'll exist for you when the englishman is never seen again. I'll even exist for you when your dear, sweet mother is found."

He waited for the fear to cloud her eyes. Nothing. She did not look at him in pain, fear, lust, anger or even contempt. Her face was completely expressionless. The mask was up again. Only this time, she was...different. This time he could read absolutely nothing of her thoughts. His threats seemed to make no impact on her at all.

Giving her head a hard shake, he menacingly promised, "I've a score to settle with you Slayer and I intend to collect." Angelus felt his hatred and lust begin to overwhelm him. He wanted to drain her, see the coldness in her face turn into the true coldness of death. He wanted to destroy her. He wanted to slake his body's lust on her unwilling form as she slowly faded away.

Buffy Summers made Angel love her. She left HIM with the memories. Buffy Summers let Angel make love to her. She left HIM with the nauseating desire to experience and explore her body, to see if she could possibly be as good as the memory. Buffy Summers made Angel love her. Buffy Summers made Angelus want her...

...and only that would keep him from giving into his darker calling of death and destruction.

Angelus would do anything to obtain her. Anything. Staring into her clear gaze, he vowed that she would be his. He also vowed that every insult she made against him, every time she made him hard without alleving him with her luscious body, every time she lied about how she felt-he would punish.

Once she was his, once he had her enthralled in their passion, he would punish her. He would forgive nothing. He would make her beg and plead for the very thing that she sought to deny him. He would make the all-mighty Slayer beg for HIM, the notorious _Scourge of Europe_.

No matter the cost.

If others had to die, then so be it. No price was too high, if in turn he made Buffy Summers his own personal toy. He was more than willing to pay and he would definitely be sure that no price was too high for her to pay. Besides, human lives always made for good leverage especially against a girl whose job it was to save those very same lives.

The challenge now was to make her give up her stubborn honor to Angel and all the blather about her calling, etc. Angelus' last thought was punctuated by the oh-so-gentle fist in his throat causing him to loosen his hold on Buffy's hair. She immediately delivered a kick to his kneecap, causing him to stumble as the bone cracked.

 _Hurt me baby. Hurt me bad. I'll only hurt YOU twice as bad later._ Rushing her, Angelus knocked her down with his heavy body only to be quickly flipped off. Regaining his stance, he warily circled her. Of all their confrontations, she had never gotten him on the defense so quickly.

A flicker of doubt crossed his mind as he observed Buffy. Even now she seemed completely detached from the situation, but completely aware of his slightest move. _What if I DON'T exist to her anymore? Can I be wrong about her?_

Bullshit! Despite the strong resolve she showed, he caught the slightest scent of desire. It was very tiny, barely there, but it WAS there. Satisfaction filled him as he deftly avoided Buffy's next blow. With regaining confidence Angelus gave as good as he got.

Their fight seemingly lasted forever. Buffy's body began to show the growing fatigue. Her reflexes weren't quite as fast, nor were her hits quite as powerful. Her right eye had rapidly swelled shut and she favored her left side. Angelus himself wasn't faring that well either. His ears were ringing after her last kick to the head and she broke another bone, this time in his arm.

No matter, Buffy would tend to his wounds just as he would tend to hers. With the crosses and holy water gone, there'd be nothing to keep him from her bed tonight.

With that thought in mind, Angelus caught her raised fist, pulled her close and said "Until next time" before soundly kissing her closed lips. Then he gave her a hard push that left Buffy sprawled on the ground. Before she could scramble to her feet he disappeared.

Knowing he was gone, she still scanned the park for any sign of him. Letting out a shaky sigh, Buffy silently congratulated herself. It had been hard, almost impossible, but she HAD done it. She had kept everything she felt for him under lock and key.

At least that's what she thought.

Walking out of the park Buffy glanced up at the sky. Thick, dark clouds were slowly rolling in and the smell of approaching rain scented the air. Buffy never saw nor felt the eyes that followed her progress out of the park.

Eyes that did not belong to Angelus.

After she left, the figure in the bushes crawled out, gave a hard stare in Buffy's retreating direction, and silently trailed the Slayer.

All the while never being detected.

Unlocking the front door Buffy quickly slammed it shut before remembering that Angel couldn't come in anymore. The house was empty and a little lonely. Her mother was out of town on one of her usual art-buying trips and wouldn't be back for several days.

Walking into the kitchen Buffy rummaged through the cupboards until she found a can of vegetable soup. Dumping the contents into a bowl she thrust it into the microwave. Impatiently waiting her mind drifted until it centered on Angel.

 _NO! You're not supposed to think about him! Remember? He doesn't even exist anymore._

Tapping her hand against the smooth counter surface she let out an inelegant snort. Yeah right. Unfortunately for her he did exist all too well. The fact that she could only see out of one eye right now and had cracked ribs that ached miserably proved that.

Walking over to the stove she opened up a drawer and pulled out a red woven kitchen towel. Moving to the refridgerator she pushed down on the lever for the ice machine and wrapped up several ice cubes in the towel. Holding the ice pack to her eye Buffy thought further about her situation.

She was still strongly drawn to Angelus as ever. He was dangerous. He was a demon. He acted nothing like the man she loved. In fact, he was an unpredictable menace. Unstable. One moment he was charming, the next he was swearing her death. He made no secret of the fact that he hated everything she represented, not only to his species but most importantly, to Angel.

To say that he was disgusted by the fact that he was pursuing her was an understatement. His disgust could be no greater than hers however. To love Angel was a strike against her calling, yet even so, at least Angel had lived daily with his tremendous guilt and had tried to make amends for his crimes.

Yet to want Angelus, the very one that gave Angel his tortured nightmares and memories, who felt no remorse other than the fact that he missed out on almost a hundred years of havoc, was blasphemy to all the Slayers before her and all of the ones to come.

The shrill bell of the microwave caused Buffy to jump. The Slayers to come... Acrymydion would force the next calling in a little less than eight weeks. Perhaps she would be able to meet her fellow Slayer, therefore making two more in the world. But then perhaps, there would be one less.

Regardless of her fascination with Angelus, she had to stick to her present course. Although there was a chance that her indifference would only drive him further over the edge, Buffy was hoping that the opposite would prove true. She was hoping that Angelus would get bored with their _game_ , and leave Sunnydale.

Feeling exhausted Buffy quickly ate her soup and trudged upstairs to take a quick shower. It was past two in the morning and she had to get up in less than five hours. Hopefully her eye would be only a faint bruise in the morning and her ribs practically healed. She was soundly asleep before her head hit the pillow.

All too soon Buffy was roused from her sleep by what sounded like a thunderous pounding in her brain. Groaning she turned over onto her stomach and snuggled deeper in the covers. Insistently the noise would not go away. Finally she slit open an eye and saw a large shadow looming outside her window.

Immediately her drowsiness evaporated as if it had never been. Getting up she crept out of her bed until she stood within a few feet of the window. Her heart pounded loudly, so loud that she knew that HE could hear it. Fear made her limbs sluggish, and it left a sour taste in her mouth.

Tensely she waited.

His voice, barely a whisper, called to her. "What's the matter Buff? I can smell it you know. The fear is just radiating off of you. You've never been this scared, not even the night when you thought I killed your pup. Are you scared of me darling?"

Buffy didn't bother to dignify his question with an answer. He KNEW what she had done. Her belief was confirmed when he abruptly ordered, "Let me in. Now."

Finding her voice, she forced herself to sound cool and detached. "I didn't go through all this trouble just to let you in."

A span of a minute passed in silence. Buffy could feel her palms go clammy with sweat, forcing her to rub them against her cotton nightshirt. Each second that passed was a trial in torturous anticipation. Suddenly Angelus roared, "GODDAMN YOU! LET ME IN NOW!"

Inexplicably Buffy's eyes began to swell with tears as she backed away from the window. As if to match the volatile mood, the nighttime sky cracked with lightening and the wind began to howl. The heavens quickly unleashed their fury and let down a peltering rainstorm that would cause all the creatures of the night to seek shelter.

All of them except one.

Angelus' intensity reverberated in each carefully enunciated word. "Invite me in Buffy. NOW-before I really lose my temper." Buffy remained mute, her eyes transfixed on his enormous, distorted shadow.

A few more seconds passed when a sharp crack of lightening, sounding like a gunshot, streaked across the stormy sky. The noise had barely faded away when Angelus shattered the window with his fist, spraying glass all across the room. A few shards cut Buffy's arms as she held them protectively across her face.

Her curtains danced madly in the wind and the thunder filled her ears with it's deafening boom. Lightening intermittedly flared across the sky, illuminating her deadly would-be lover.

Her breath rushed through her lungs as she heaved in great gulps of air. She was barely aware of the tiny rivulets of blood that seeped down her arms. Rain had begun to pour in and her nightgown was soon molded to her body. Buffy could only stare in fascinated horror at the picture Angelus made.

His dark hair lay plastered to his head and rain streamed down his face. His large body was half-crouched on the slippery roof, his only support being one hand on the top of her window-sill. The black leather gleamed wetly while the sodden silk clung to his muscular chest, drawing her eyes to his hard nipples.

He looked as reckless as the force of nature that pounded the land.

A feral gleam shone brightly from a face as pale as death. Buffy could not tear her eyes away from his. Their color shifted from burnt orange to luminous yellow to jungle green. While threatening, they beckoned her with an unnatural beauty.

What horrified Buffy was the wanton urge to have him unleash his passion on her. Her dark desires begged to be the one to tame the beast. She had the insane need to have him show her how much of a force of unholy nature he himself was.

Angelus wore the clothes of a man, but he was definitely running high with the emotions of the demon. Thwarted lust and fury contorted his features, drawing the skin tightly over his cheek-bones and hardening his mouth with a cruel slant.

Rasping Angelus winningly entreated, "Baby, let me in. Don't do this. Don't fight against it. It's not too late." Buffy shook her head and shakily said "N-no." The wood creaked ominously under his hand. Ruthlessly he whispered, "I mean to have you Buff. You belong to me, whether you admit it to yourself or not."

Softening his voice, he caressingly mused, "I remember the way your voice sounded when you called out my name. Your body felt so warm and so small against mine. When I held out my hand to you, you rubbed her cheek against me. Don't you realize how unbearably hard it was for me to leave you? Knowing that you dreamt of me?"

Buffy's heart clenched with a curious mixture of shame and want. Was it only last week? Was it only seven nights ago when she put on a sexy dress, secretly knowing he would see her? Was it only seven nights ago when he held her pressed against his body, making her feel as if she were drowning in him?

Laying his other hand on the invisible barrier, he slowly ran it up and down in the perfect imitation of a lover's caress. Buffy's eyes followed the long leisurely movements as she listened to his velvety voice. "You called out MY name. Not Angel's but MINE. You dreamt of me. Dreams are never as satisfying as fullfilling them. Let me fullfill yours, let me make every fantasy come true. Let me in..."

She took a hesitant step forward before mentally shaking her head. Angelus made it sound so easy, so easy to let him in, to make her let go of her conscience and give into his baser desires. Self-directed anger made her snap, "You want to make my fantasy come true? Give me back Angel!"

The wood splintered beneath his palm. Flinging away a huge chunk of the sill Angelus pounded on the hated barrier once, snarling in fury. "If you don't let me in I'll kill them all tonight. All of them. Do you hear me? All of them."

Buffy shivered from the pure evil in his tone. Fear reclaimed her body. They were safe, as long as they didn't let anyone in. She knew her friends wouldn't, but what if the parents, ignoring the warning, let Angel or his minions in? Could she take the chance?

No, she couldn't take the chance but neither could she let Angelus in. She could not, would not do it. In her heart she knew that if she ever allowed Angelus into herself, she would not only be selling her body but her very soul.

Inching over to her desk Buffy's fingers found and immediately clutched a large crucifix. Holding it up in front of her, she forced Angel back from her window. Shielding his face, he hissed and cursed from the pain. Repeating her words from earlier she shouted over the thunder, "You don't exist to me anymore."

In response Angelus jumped from the roof and proceeded to drive his fists into every window, the shattering of the glass competing with the thunder and lightening. Finally he boldly stood on the lawn and dared her to come out and stop him from murdering her friends. If she stayed in her home, she couldn't prevent him from going to their houses. If she stepped outside, she was fair game for the taking.

 _What's it going to be Slayer? Their lives or yours?_ he tensely thought and waited.

She stood at the jagged window, staring down at him, contempt for him written all over her lovely face. It was time to pull out his trump card. He had very busy in the past hour, ensuring that there would be no denying him tonight.

Instantly he leapt back onto the roof and crouched there less than two feet away from Buffy. Pulling out a cellular phone, he dialed while still staring at her. "Are they all there? Everything is ready?" he barked into the phone. Despite the ferocity of the storm and the static, Buffy could hear the sound of a voice on the other side.

Pulling the phone away from his ear, he held it towards her. "It seems that your little gang is over at the werewolf's" at her shocked look he smugly smiled "Yes, I knew about that too. We're natural enemies and all. As I was saying, your little gang is all in one place having a wonderful time-without you. Gosh Buff, I guess you wore out your welcome for them to deliberately leave you out!"

"I don't believe you. They wouldn't do that!" she mumbled.

Evilly grinning he assured her with "But they did! As of now they're playing, wait a minute" listening back into the phone he nodded and then continued "a game of charades and eating popcorn. What? You don't believe me?" Giving her a long suffering sigh he held the phone back to her, as close as he could against the barrier.

Carefully making sure she did not cross the protective wall between them, Buffy leaned closer and despite the static she could clearly hear the sound of laughter. Xander's in particular. She then heard Willow and Cordelia's voices raised in a disagreement of who was worse at charades.

Pulling back away Buffy felt a sharp stab of betrayal. Why did they leave her out? Were they pulling back from her already? _What do you expect Buffy? You've hardly been the life of the party lately, and with the way things are going you're hardly going to be a life period!_

Loyally she felt that there must be a reason for them hanging out without her. She just couldn't allow Angelus plant his seeds of distrust in her head. "So what? You and your boys can't get in, so you're telling me this because?" she rudely asked.

"I was hoping you'd say something like that Buff. You're right, we can't get in thanks to your delightful spell. But that doesn't mean that I can't have that house torched, trapping all inside to die a horrible death."

Buffy's face paled as his words sunk in. "What do you..."

"What do I want? Hmm. What do I want? I think, no, I KNOW that I want one thing."

"And that is?" she asked, dismally feeling that she already knew.

"Why you Slayer. I want you." Harshly he warned "If you don't let me in, I'll give them the order to set the house on fire. The ball's in your court Slayer."

"Even if I let you in, you could still order them to do it. How would I know that they were safe?"

"You wouldn't but you should know that if you DON'T let me in, they WILL die. What's your answer? Their deaths or our mutual satisfaction?"

"What satisfaction? I hate you!"

Sensing her struggle he cheerfully answered "I hate you too Buff! But I still want you and I know that you still want me. Look, I'm giving you the opportunity to be a hero. Their lives in exchange for me in your bed whenever I want."

"Yeah, I let you in to fuck me then you'll still kill them. No way."

Cajoling he returned with "Why would I kill them? I really don't give a crap about them-other than a possible meal. But hey, even I'm not THAT hard up. What I want is you. If I kill them I don't get you." A heavy pause followed his flippantly stated words. Coldly Angelus warned, "However, I will do it if you don't give me my way."

The coldness of his tone gave over to a casually light one again has he observed, "So Slayer, time is of the essense-my boys get really antsy in thunderstorms. Hell, they might just drop a little bit of gasoline, a couple of matches and then we'll have a really hot situation on our hands."

Buffy's mind was in a whirl. She couldn't take the chance that he would have them killed, but how could she trust him? "If I let you in, you'll leave them alone?"

"As long as you spread your luscious thighs when and where I want," Angelus boredly answered.

"Call them off," she ordered.

"Let me in" he shot back.

"I c-c-can't trust you!" she desperately cried.

"You have no choice Buff" he coldly stated.

How could she believe in the word of a demon? Could she take that chance?


	14. Chapter 14

Buffy stood at her window, staring at Angelus. She barely paid any attention to the rain and wind beating down on her shivering form, drenching her thoroughly. Her gaze was completely intent on the man across from her.

A decision needed to be made. Angelus demanded it and at this point, she could only hope that it was the right one.

Slowly turning away she heard Angelus shout her name once, commanding that she not leave. Ignoring him she carefully made her way towards the door, wincing as tiny shards of glass cut into her feet.

Silently she walked down the stairs. The roar of the storm filled her ears and the darkness of the night became her sight. The house was completely plunged in darkness, the only illumination to be had came every few seconds in the form of lightening. When she reached the bottom of the landing she looked around and saw the floor was covered with glass. Not even pausing Buffy made her way across the debris strewn floor, leaving bloody foot prints in her wake.

"You have to do this...you have to do this" she chanted as she walked towards the front door. With one hand she gripped the knob and opened the portal that separated her from HIM.

For a moment all she could see was the inky darkness of the night until she realized that directly in front of her stood Angelus. The blackness she had seen was the blackness of a cloth-covered chest that covered an even blacker heart. Tilting her head back her gaze collided with his. Once captured she was powerless to look away.

"Angel," she soundlessly whispered.

"Angelus," he immediately corrected. Her face was a study in exquisite pain and remorse. The long blonde hair lay wrapped around her head and neck while the nightgown clung tightly to her every curve, exposing all to his greedy gaze.

If he'd only look.

However, he could not for he found it impossible to tear himself from the sight of her face. Buffy's eyes captured him as strongly as his had captured hers. Lifting a hand he touched the barrier that separated them, showing her where he would touch.

If she'd only let him.

His fingertips glided above her temple, lightly tracing above her eyebrows. He caressed the air above her eyes, watching the delicate eyelids close in acknowledgement of his intent. Gently he smoothed the space over her now slightly puffy eye and then moved to her pale cheekbones, noticing how prominent they'd become in the past few weeks.

"Buffy, tell me," he gravely commanded.

Tightly clenching her eyes she felt the slow trickle of tears seep from beneath her lashes. In a flash of insight Buffy realized that the next moment would definitively change the course of her life. Nothing would ever be the same. She wept for the loss of the girl she was and she wept from the knowledge of the woman she would be.

Opening her eyes she bowed her head and stepped back from the door. "C-come in," she spoke in a strangled whisper. The words were barely out of her mouth when she felt his hands painfully grip her upper arms. Buffy let out a small moan as she felt herself being lifted up.

Forced to meet Angelus' gaze she recoiled from what she saw smoldering within their obsidian depths. "This is the last time that I'll be kept from you. You're mine now lover. Always." Crushing her slim body to him, his mouth ravaged her own, bruising her with his hunger.

Along with her fear Buffy felt her body respond, aching and tingling to learn more of Angelus' methods of passion. Abruptly she hit the floor. Angelus had released his grip and her legs had become too weak to give any support.

Flipping open the phone again, he curtly spoke, "The bonfire is off tonight, but keep watch, in case I need you again." Smirking at the sight of the Slayer at his feet, Angelus confidently stepped through the non-existent barrier and into her home.

Buffy's relunctant fear turned into animal terror when she saw the hard look of lust on his face. _Oh my God! I've let him into my home! I have to get away! I have to run away!_ she incoherently thought. Quickly gaining her feet, she bolted from Angelus' approaching form. Behind her she heard a curse and the thud of booted feet which only forced her to flee even faster.

Darting into her room she slammed the door shut behind her and made for the open hole of her window. She did not risk glancing back even when she heard the door crash against the wall. Scrambling out towards the roof Buffy sobbed when she felt Angelus fingers dig into her waist, pulling her back in.

Violently he flung her face first onto the bed before landing heavily on top of her. Thrashing she fought to fling him off but to no avail. Firmly holding her outspread wrists Angelus fought to control his baser urges to rip into her body. Tonight was finally going to be the night that he exorcised Buffy Summers from his being. He was going to enjoy her sweet body until he no longer wanted her.

Then he would destroy her. Until then...

"Ssh, baby...I won't hurt you." _This time_ For several minutes he crooned words of comfort in her ear until she quit crying and let out a watery sigh. "That's right darling...calm down." Carefully moving off her body Angelus stood up and saw her feet. He could smell the blood before and saw the prints leading up the stairs but he had been too intent on his prey to give it more than a cursory thought.

Docilely Buffy allowed him to hold each slim foot in his hand while he intently surveyed the damage. Numerous shards of glass were imbedded in the skin and fresh blood oozed from several gashes. Curtly he ordered to stay on the bed while he walked towards her closet. Opening the door he pulled out dozens of the stashed candles, quickly placing them throughout the room and in her bathroom.

Angelus then walked out into the hallway and found the linen closet. He pulled out several blankets before going back into Buffy's room. The storm had lost none of its fury so the rain still continued to blow in through the window. Quickly he took the blankets and firmly attached them to the wall, covering the jagged portal.

Buffy heard his movements while she still lay on her belly. At any moment she expected him to pounce on her. So it came as a surprise when she noticed the soft glow that increasingly drove back the inky darkness. Sitting up she saw that Angelus had lit dozens of tapers and now emerged from her bathroom carrying gauze, anitseptic, a washcloth, and a pair of tweezers.

Finding a wastebasket, he placed it by the bed before sitting down. "Scoot back and let me see your feet." Mutely she did as he ordered, placing them on his thigh. Efficiently he pulled out each shard and applied anitseptic before moving to the next piece. Buffy winced with each removal but never made a sound. Instead she watched the gleaming blackness of his drying hair and the way his hands delicately went about their task. Needing to break the silence she asked, "How did you learn to do this?"

Pausing in his work Angelus looked up with a mocking gleam in his eyes. "You really want to know?" Not waiting for an answer he jovially explained, "One of the first things of torture you learn is how to heal the body-so you can break it again."

Buffy's face paled and her gaze involuntarily strayed to the large hands holding her foot, knowing what they had done and were still capable of doing. His grip clamped around her ankle when she tried to move away. "I'm not done yet babe. I know you're just as ready to go at it as I am, but patience is a virtue. Use it."

After several minutes he finally held each foot up under a lengthy scrutiny before saying "Alright, I'm done. I've gotten all of them out." Buffy made move to get off the bed when he snapped "I didn't go through all of that for nothing!" Staring at him in confusion her arms automatically went around his neck when Angelus picked her up and walked to the bathroom. That's when she heard it: the crunching of glass.

Awkwardly she said, "Thank you," to which he caustically replied, "Don't thank me. I didn't do it for you, I did it for me. I can hardly have sex with you if you have glass poking out of your feet. You'll end up scratching my back."

Before she could put much thought to the oddity of his comment, he deposited her on the vanity stool in the bathroom. Holding up her forearms he saw the dried streaks of blood and the minute bits of glass. "Don't move from that seat," was all he said as he walked out.

In a moment he was back carrying the supplies. Squatting in front of her he went about his painstaking task, each piece of glass making a slight _ping_ when dropped in the wastebasket. Eventually he finished and asked "Do you have any more scratches or glass?" Buffy just shook her head, helplessly staring at his handsome face.

Nodding in satisfaction Angelus stood up and turned on the bathwater. "I want you to take a shower before I bandage you up." Buffy's numbness cracked at the thought of being naked in front of him. Smiling at her discomfort he debated on whether to leave the room. Deciding that now was as good a time as any to chip away at her pride he commanded, "Go take a shower Buff. Now." Leaning against the wall he crossed his arms in front of his chest and waited.

Buffy sat unmovingly on the seat, her fists clenched tightly on her lap. She had known that by allowing him entrance to her home she was allowing him entrance to her body, but to just stand up and take off her clothes-she couldn't do it!

"I can still call them back Buff," he reminded her as a warning. Snapping her gaze back to his, she saw the implacability in his expression. Buffy thickly swallowed before shakily standing up. Making a move to give Angelus her back she stopped when he said, "No need to turn around Buff, I'll behave if you will." Her face burned in shame as she peeled off the damp nightshirt. Her hands hesitated when they touched the waistband of her underwear before she pulled them down also.

Risking a glance at him, her mouth went dry when she saw his face. He raked her body with a hot, searing look that spoke loudly of what the night held for her. Looking away Buffy stepped into the tub, closed the curtain and turned on the shower, barely able to breathe.

She soon heard his footsteps lead out of the bathroom. Leaning against the tiled wall she let the hot water flow over her. For several minutes she stood under the spray before grabbing a bar of soap. Running the lather over her body Buffy felt a strange tingle begin within. In a short period of time she and Angelus would become intimate. She would give to him what she had only given to Angel.

At this thought Buffy felt her heart squeeze with the pain of betrayal. Angel would surely hate her if he could see what she was about to do. The forgotten soap hit the tub with a thump. How could she go through with tonight? How could she let Angelus touch her? _You're doing this to save your friends._

Was she? Or was this the excuse she needed?

A draft of cold air hit her back, interrupting her thoughts. Turning around she saw Angelus coldly staring at her. "Are you finished feeling sorry for yourself? You've been in here long enough, there's no use to putting me off any longer. You'll only anger me and I'll still get you in the end."

Turning off the water Buffy shivered from fright? anticipation? and pushed the shower curtain open. Angelus stood there with a towel ready. Wrapping her up he pointed to the seat where she tensely sat down. Approaching with the gauze he quickly wrapped her feet and then placed several bandages on her arms.

Vaguely Buffy thought _I never thought that a torturer could be so gentle. Shouldn't that be an impossibility?_

Angelus then told Buffy, "I want you naked and willing in that bed, do you understand me? If you act the martyr tonight, the deal is off-got it? If you try to fake it in any way, consider them gone!"

Standing up he gallantly held her small hand in his and led her to the room. Absently Buffy noticed that Angel had swept up all the glass before her eyes became drawn to her bed. He had laid out the black fur across the top and left no sheets to cover them or most likely, herself.

Handing her a brush he watched as she dropped the towel and climbed up on the bed. His lust clamored for release as he observed the beautiful lines of her nude body. Already he felt satisfaction in her small but very telling gesture. He did not have to tell her not to turn her body from him. Instead she rested on her calves while she brushed the wet, blond locks.

Buffy's hand shook as she ran the brush through. Angelus' eyes practically devoured her and she could die of shame as she sat there naked. However, she knew that he wanted her thus and she could only hope that she pleased him in some small way.

 _Not because I want to please him, but because I HAVE to_ she mutinously thought.

She stopped in mid-stroke when he smoothly said, "Come here." Carefully laying the brush down, she unfolded her legs and slid off the bed. Walking towards him she stopped a few feet away.

Angelus let her stand there for a long minute before saying, "Undress me Slayer." He was going to make nothing easy for her. It angered him beyond words to know that she had been thinking of Angel while she was bathing for HIM. While he could take what he wanted from her, it would be infinitely more enjoyable if Buffy gave it all to him herself.

Reaching up she pushed the leather duster off his broad shoulders and let it fall to the floor. Slowly she unbuttoned the ebony silk shirt, revealing more and more of his muscled chest. With each button her fingers brushed his cool flesh and she could feel a steadily growing spark settle in the pit of her belly.

She had to pull his shirt out of his pants to reach the rest of the buttons. Thinking of where this part of his shirt had been, made her shift slightly while her breath became a tremulous pant. When she was done, Buffy laid her hands on his upper chest to push off the shirt. At the full contact between them she felt an aching hunger unfold and slam her with the full force of desire.

Triumph filled Angelus as he smelled the sweet scent of Buffy's arousal. Her capacity for passion was so strong! The scent of her was pure ambrosia and all she had done was touch him. What would she be like once he had her spread beneath him or above him or in any one of countless positions?

Walking over to a chair, he sat down and silently motioned to his boots. With only the slightest bit of hesitation she knelt and began to remove them and his damp socks. He then stood up, staring at her while she still knelt. After the span of several heartbeats she too stood up.

Reaching out she unbuckled his belt before unbuttoning the top button of his pants. Pulling back her hand Buffy felt a tremor of shyness. Angelus' hand shot out to capture hers, firmly placing it back on the zipper. Biting her lower lip she slid down the zipper, placed her hands on his waist and tugged the black leather down.

"Are you going to leave me with my pants around my ankles or are you going to finish your task?" he annoyingly asked. Irritation flashed brightly in Buffy's eyes as her gaze clashed with his. Turning away from him she spat, "Get them off yourself!"

His fingers wound themselves in her hair, pulling her back against him. Wrapping his arm around her waist, he spoke darkly in her ear, "You're not playing nice Buff, don't make me regret our deal. Now finish your task."

Turning to face him once more, Buffy knelt down and removed his pants. _I hate him, I will always hate him. No matter what!_ she angrily thought. She never thought that her first sexual experience with Angelus would be her playing the part of serving maid. However her next thought grudgingly diffused some of her anger. _He did play at being a nurse too-a pretty good one at that._ It would have been more fitting of his reputation to have left her injured and bloody, yet he did not.

Now what?

Looking up to speak, Buffy's words died in her throat when she IT. Her mouth dropped open and she slowly scooted back. THAT was going to be in her? That HAD been in her? While her first time with Angel had been the most beautiful experience of her life, she had never really looked at it. In respect of her virginity and her shyness, Angel had not...flaunted himself so boldly, so this was a first for her again.

Unconsciously Buffy had scooted herself back until she felt the bed against her back. Standing up her eyes finally tore away from the massive appendage only to see Angelus predatorily advance upon her. Raising herself she stammered "A-Angelus, I-I don't t-think this is a g-good idea. Imagine w-what t-this will do t-to your r-rep. I-I mean what w-would all the other v-vampires t-think if they knew-"

Placing one finger on her lips Angelus stopped her flow of nervous speech. "They only think what I tell them to think, which is nothing." Leaning down he sensuously nibbled and licked her lips until she opened them and allowed his tongue entrance.

Buffy moaned at the incredible shock of his cool mouth tasting and melding with her warm one. Hesitantly she placed her hands on his chest but before long, her short nails began digging into his skin. Angelus held the back of her neck in one hand while grabbing her buttocks with the other. This caused her to pant brokenly against his mouth and arch her soft body against his muscled chest.

Pulling back from her, Angelus nostrils flared as he evenly stated, "There is no Angel here lover. Only me, Angelus. The only name I want to hear pass those lovely lips of yours is mine. If you say his name...you'll regret it."

A part of her recoiled; there would be no mistaking or pretending the fact that she slept with Angelus and not Angel. If she had been allowed to call out Angel, then perhaps she could have been able to pretend. Even so, Buffy could not stop her hand as it slid down and caressed his hard hip. She wanted him, if she had to have Angelus instead of Angel-then so be it.

Sensing her aquiecence, he let a hard smile twist his lips. Abruptly pulling her head back, Angelus ran his tongue up the smooth column before delving into her willing mouth. Soon Buffy found herself laying back against the black fur. The delightful feel of the fur teased the skin of her entire underside. Her maidenly shyness fled by degrees as she unconsciously writhed, wanting his touch, while Angelus watched her.

Her skin positively glowed in the candlelight. He was pleased that he could see her body not in the harsh, unpoetic glare of an electric lamp, but under the soft alluring lighting of his era. He loved the way her body beckoned to his, pleading to be dominated by his own. He loved seeing the flush of desire stain her young breasts and the sheen of desire glaze her wide eyes.

But most of all he loved the way she pleadingly whispered, "Angelus..."

Smiling wolfishly he laid between her trembling thighs and proceeded to lick and bite the sensitive area of her shoulder and neck. Buffy gasped aloud with the painful pleasure of having his teeth nip her skin before soothing it with his tongue. Her small hands feverishly roamed his wide back before clenching them in his hair when he bit down particularly hard, leaving a small bruise in his wake.

Moving down her body Angelus soon encountered her breasts. Deliberately teasing he lightly trailed the tips of his fingertips across both breasts, avoiding her nipples completely. Ever so slowly he circled closer and closer to the tip before pulling back and starting his caress all over. Only when Buffy let out a cry of frustration, did he finally brush across the surface of her nipples.

Maddeningly he did this several times, taking pleasure in her obvious torment. When she tried to force his head, he merely held her wrist down, and continued for several minutes longer than he had planned. Finally when Buffy eyes leaked from need and her voice rasped his name over and over, did he take one rosy nipple in his mouth.

Buffy's back arched as the intense pleasure rocked through her. Letting out a cry of satisfaction, she laid the back of her hands across her eyes as she felt him go from one nipple to the other. His mouth seemed voracious, giving nothing but incredible mind-numbing pleasure even when he his caress became far from gentle.

When she felt him finally lift his head from her, she thought that he would end his teasing and satisfy the new-found need she had. Instead she felt his silky hair glide across her stomach and travel further down. Sensing what he planned to do, she tried to pull him back up. Angel had tried to do this their first time, but she had been too embarressed to let him.

Futilely Buffy tried to get up when Angelus could not be budged. Placing one hand on her belly, Angelus firmly pressed down until she lay back. "Don't tell me that Angel-boy didn't like to travel downtown?" he asked with a smirk.

Mortified she could only shake her head, not as an answer but as a last plea to stop him. When he didn't move, Buffy raised her head up only to see that he had been waiting for her to do just that. Lewdly grinning at her dismayed expression, Angelus licked his lips before laying them on hers.

Buffy felt a jolt of sensation jar her from her discomfort. Squirming she felt him delicately lick the outer flesh before parting her with one long, wet caress. Pursing his lips, Angelus began to suckle on the tiny bud while his hand roamed up her body to hold onto a small breast.

Soon, he began to alternate between light teasing flicks of the tongue, to deep stabbing motions meant to penetrate her willing flesh. Thrashing her head, Buffy distantly heard loud pants tear from her throat. They increasingly grew in strength until the sound of the storm faded away and all she could hear was her own tortured cries of pleasure.

"Say it...say my name...say it now!" Angelus ruthlessly commanded between her eagerly spread thighs. Buffy was so close to attaining that miracle of ecstasy; her body strained and repeatedly arched against him. Angelus was the one who created such perfect sensations within her. Angelus was the one who would bring back the passion that was so desperately missing in her life. Angelus was the one who was her closest link to Angel.

So it was perfectly natural for Buffy to want to call out his name. She started to but for some unknown reason she moaned "Angel..." instead of "Angelus...". Immediately his fingers dug into her breast while he simultaneously bit down on her in fury. Buffy screamed in pain and terror, because of Angelus' obvious anger-

-and because her body shook from the first wave of her orgasm.

Helplessly she writhed and arched beneath his mouth while her fingers madly gripped his hair. The pleasure seemed to be never-ending, rolling over her and making her body clench helplessly. Suddenly she felt her wrists being pinned next to her head and her legs being spread even more widely. Risking a glance upwards, she flinched from the hatred burning in her lover's eyes.

Between tightly clenched teeth Angelus spat, "You fucking whore! I told you not to call me by his name!" Before Buffy could explain, she felt him ruthlessly drive into her. Wildly she arched in pain, while she helplessly cried at the overwhelming feeling of fullness.

Pistoning his hips in and out, Angelus stared down into Buffy's face. He was too furious to appreciate the silken feel of her tightness or the misery etched across her features. Instead he could only hate her and Angel for taking what should have been solely his. Crudely he asked, "Who's fucking you? Who's fucking the almighty Slayer?"

Twisting her head away she sobbed "You are! You are, Angelus!"

"That's right, ANGELUS." Letting go of one of her wrists he gripped her thigh instead, crushing it with bruising force. Brutally he kissed her swollen mouth, forcing his tongue down her throat, until Buffy felt the first signs of faintness cloud her vision.

Still his body hammered her into the bed, making the springs squeak loudly. Ripping his mouth away, he latched onto her neck at the same time that he moved his hand between them and laid it on her damp curls.

He had to fight for control. She had been punished for her insult, if her sobbing was any indication. Now was the time to seduce her drenching passion, so that she would not be able to accuse him of rape. He wanted her to feel the sting of humiliation that SHE had begged for him. If he continued as he was, she would be able to console her pride that he had been nothing but an animal that forced himself on her.

Slowing his torturous pace, Angelus allowed Buffy's body to relax slightly before finding the tiny nub of her clit. Delicately he plucked and smoothed her flesh while his mouth released her neck to instead nibble upwards until he reached the lobe of her ear.

Buffy's entire body ached from his punishing assault. She had felt helplessly pinned beneath his massive, unrelenting penis. Each stab had wrenched a cry from her, nothing could have ever prepared her for how painful it would be. When she had lost her virginty to this very same body, the pain had never been this intense. She had only known a few fleeting moments of discomfort for Angel had been so tender, so loving.

Her heart bled with the knowledge of how truly different both sides of this man were. Angel would never have punished her like this, Angelus felt that it was his right by conquest. It took her several moments to realize that the burning invasion had stopped to be replaced with a gentle stroking of his hand and that instead of biting down on her, Angelus was flicking his tongue against her ear, stirring a most curious sensation.

Unclenching her fist, she hesitantly placed it on his back. A tight achy feeling stirred within her stomach and restlessly she moved beneath him, causing his to shift within her. A small surprised cry of pleasure broke from her lips at the feel of him within her. Hearing it Angelus moved once again, elliciting an even louder cry.

Buffy dug her nails into his back as he sensuously slid in and out of her body. Sliding his mouth over hers, he greedily drank in all of her cries of pleasure. Whereas he had used his body to punish, now he used it to reward Buffy for her growing passion.

"Lift your hips darling...mmm...yeah, just like that" he rasped against her mouth. Her clumsy rhythm soon grew more and more emboldened until she was slapping loudly against him, seeking and wanting any and everything he chose to give her.

"Ohh...mmm...Angelus," she moaned helplessly, feeling that he was holding her back from the dark rapture of this act. She was right. Angelus could feel the desperate passion that radiated from her yet he would not send her over until she begged him for it.

Maddenly he led her to the edge before cruelly changing his tempo, causing her to lose the beginnings of her orgasm. Buffy did not know for how long he did this, time had lost all meaning to her. Outside the storm still raged but it paled in comparison to the storm which raged on the silky black fur.

After losing sight of release for the seventh time, she achingly screamed "Please Angelus! I need...you...please!" Only then did he angle his body until every thrust was a direct brush against her clit. Within a matter of seconds Buffy's body began to shudder uncontrollably and she buried her face against the smooth, cool flesh of his shoulder.

Pulling back from her Angelus stared down into her beautifully contorted face. Her mouth opened in a soundless cry as the first staggering wave rocked her body. Wildly she arched beneath him, clamping down on him so fiercely that Angelus purred in pleasure. Not wanting to put off his own release any longer, he began a deep brutal rhythm that surprisingly had Buffy moving beneath him again.

Her cries filled the air, blending most beautifully with his own deep guttural moans. His hands gripped her thighs, bringing them even further up until her knees almost touched her chest. He had dropped the illusion of humanity, instead reverting to his animal-like instincts and summoning Buffy's unknown answering instincts.

She helplessly ran her claws down his chest, which only seemed to enflame him further. She could taste her upcoming orgasm, this time not wrought out of winsome seduction but cold, hard, passion. She had never, ever felt such painful pleasure in her short life. There was no words to describe it, there was only emotions to feel it.

Even the sight of his face transforming did nothing to quell her raging desires. Instead she just leaned up and captured his mouth with her own. His fangs lengthened as her tongue darted between them, boldly playing with their deadly tips. One arm snaked beneath her to crush her against his chest. "Say my name Slayer...Say it!" he growled against her mouth, once again keeping her poised on the edge.

Willingly she moaned, "Angelus...Angelus!" In the next moment she felt her body crash with joy, this orgasm even more powerful than the last one. Dimly she heard her dark lover roar before burying his fangs not in her neck, but in her right breast. Shrilly she cried as the previous pleasure fought the present agony, somehow mysteriously melding to become one.

The timeless moments eventually subsided until Buffy returned to reality. Blinking she could hear the storm outside subsided, until only a light sprinkle of rain could be heard pattering on the roof. The room still flickered with dozens of candles, while her body languidly settled within the warmth of the thick fur underneath her.

Reaching out she ran her fingers through Angelus' thick, slightly damp hair. It was so soft, so incredibly silky. Moving her fingers down, she lightly traced the tattoo on his back, the tattoo that proclaimed eloquently who and what he was.

He had been Angel and Angelus in her mind. Now he was simply Angelus. Despite of how wrong it may have been to submit to him, she could not regret it. Her heart may be inviolate, but her body still loved the body regardless of who it exactly was.

Shifting beneath him, she clenched in weak pleasure at the feel of him still inside her. It was rather ironic that on both nights she had lost her virginity, physically to Angel and symbolically to Angelus, a storm had raged on outside. The first time she had felt protection from the storm in Angel's arms. This time she felt as if the storm was not outside, but actually inside.

Within her welcoming arms.

Angelus withdrew from Buffy, leaving a trail of cold semen seeping from between her curls. Propping himself on one elbow he lazily drew circles on her taut abdomen while licking the twin holes on her breast. When she made move to get up he curtly asked "Where are you going?"

Uncertainly she replied, "I was going to clean up."

Shaking his head Angelus let his hand drift to play with her wet curls. "I don't want you rushing to the bathroom every time we fuck. I want my essence to stay on you, not be washed down the drain like so much dirt."

"Why? So you can mark your territory?" she asked with a little gasp. His fingers had begun to stroke her lightly causing Buffy to lift her hips. He took his time answering, content with watching the play of emotions on her face. Finally he replied, "Smart girl. That's exactly why I do it. If you want to shower, do it after I'm gone or we'll do it together."

His statement made Buffy pause. How long would this continue for? Did this mean they weren't exactly enemies? Were they lovers? "Angel-"

Swiftly he gripped her chin with his moist fingers, fingers that were moist from them both, and hissed, "What did you call me?"

Quickly she stammered "A-Angelus, I meant Angelus!" Especially now that Buffy was HIS, he would not tolerate anything other than his true name coming from her lovely mouth. If she didn't grasp his sincerity soon enough, punishment would definitely be in order. Releasing his hold Angelus returned his hand back down to the core of her. Pleasantly he asked, "What were you saying?"

Bewildered at his mercurial change of mood, she replied, "How long are we going to be, well, together?"

"Don't tell me you're already bored darling?"

Without hesitation she yelled "No!" Blushing at the eagerness of her reply and his knowing look, she forced her voice to some semblance of calm. "How long are we going to be-"

"Fucking?"

Frowning Buffy corrected with, "Sleeping together." While she knew that they hadn't made love, she did not want to think of the act that had just passed between them as fucking. As to why was something that she did not want to probe too deeply into, at least for now.

Amusement at her professed terms, Angelus leaned forward until his mouth was a whisper away. Darkly he said, "There's nothing wrong with fucking Buff. What we do will always be fucking-pure, animalistic fucking. As to how long?" Chuckling his tongue darted out to creep into her mouth before pulling away. "We'll FUCK until I don't want you anymore."

Buffy's mind had begun to drift amidst his seductive words, pulling into them as truth. His last statement was like a dagger slashing into her consciousness. Glaring at his unnaturally handsome face she felt like she was choking on her outrage. The sheer arrogance! _Just who the hell does he think he is?! He'll fuck me until he doesn't want me anymore?!_

Abruptly throwing his weight off of her, Buffy sprang up from the bed. Any thoughts of possible danger to her friends vanished beneath her indignant fury. Pinning him with her narrowed gaze she coldly stated, "Sorry Angelus, it doesn't work that way. Who the hell do you think you are telling me that? You'll fuck me until you're tired of me? Ha! I don't think so _lover_!"

Angelus just leisurely lay upon the bed, outwardly appearing calm in face of Buffy's tirade. Only the mean light in his eyes showed his displeasure. Unruffled he casually commanded "Get back in this bed Buff. Don't make me get up and drag you back by your hair."

Clenching her fists tightly by her side Buffy resisted the urge to rebreak his newly healed arm. And the other arm. And both knees. But just barely. Turning around she furiously stomped away towards the bathroom. _Mark me like a tree-ha! I'll wash all of him off like the dirt he came from!_ she murderously thought.

Suddenly she was flung against a wall, her arm pulled up tightly behind her back. Gasping from the excruciating pain Buffy struggled to hear him say, "Didn't I once tell you not to turn your back on me? I warned you that I'd always strike if you do." Pressing his lips to her exposed nape, he gently kissed it several times, ignoring the fact that he had her arm on the verge of breaking.

Angelus could taste the rage and misery with every kiss. He savored each caress, each sensation that fed his evil heart. His appetite for the tiny Slayer ravenously grew with every passing moment. His hunger for her could not, would not be denied. He could only hope that she would feed him even more of her exquisite emotions with each joining.

It would be a pity if he broke her too soon, a tragedy even.

Releasing her arm he quickly spun her around and pressed her into the wall with his body. Entwining his fingers with hers Angelus held them above her tousled head. Greedily he devoured Buffy's passion-swollen mouth, nipping at her ruby lips with his blunt teeth, before delving back in.

Buffy tried to hold herself stiff from his hungry caresses but before long she gave a defeated moan and began kissing him back just as wildly. They sipped from each other as greedily as they would from a champagne fountain. Buffy desperately kissed Angelus while gripping his hard thigh between her own. His words, while not forgotten, were less important than soothing the ache in her body.

Insistently Angelus pressed his hard length against the smoothness of her belly, receiving a jolt of pleasure with each touch. The heady scent of Buffy's arousal filled his senses and teased his palette. Unlocking his fingers from hers, he lifted up a breast while swooping down to voraciously suck it into his cool mouth.

There was no teasing, taunting quality to this kiss. Buffy felt the scrape of his teeth several times across her sensitive nipple. Sagging slightly she clutched his massive shoulders for support, whimpering with the painful need that he stirred. She sharply gasped when he firmly pinched the nipple of her other breast.

Suddenly she felt herself being lifted. Automatically her slim legs went around his waist while she threaded her fingers in his silky hair. Pulling away from her breast with a loud smack, Angelus lifted her up only to slide her dripping core against the salty tip of his cock.

For several moments he teased them both, drawing out their hunger to the breaking point. Each of Buffy's soft cries were answered with a deep growl, both wanting to end this lustful trial yet neither willing to stop even this torturous bit of pleasure.

Finally Angelus lifted her higher and then slowly slid her down on him. Inch by inch was encased in her tight sheath, her walls rapidly wanting to accomodate her mate yet being unable to quickly enough. Despite Buffy's frenetic desire, she still felt the pain of having Angelus stretch her most intimate core. A low ragged moan escaped her tightly pressed lips when he eventually filled her to the hilt.

Male triumph glittered in his soulless gaze. Her painfilled cry did not escape him at all, nor the cause of it. He adored her pain just as strongly as he adored her pleasure. "Does it hurt baby?" he asked in mock concern.

Hating to hear the smug victory in his voice, she indifferenty said "No. Why do you ask?"

Carefully Angelus rocked his hips back and forth, taking shallow strokes until he felt Buffy's body relax and heard her pant against his ear. Suddenly he pulled almost all the way out before slamming back into her. Buffy fiercely dug her nails into his shoulders while giving a high pitched cry of pain. "Over time you'll love the pain I give you as much as the pleasure."

Her eyes widened with disbelief and perhaps a bit of fear. Could he make her that depraved? Reading her thoughts he wickedly reminded her "I've already made you come twice, despite the pain."

Buffy felt a slow flush creep over her face as she remembered how wantonly she reacted both times. Wanting to escape his arrogant knowledge she buried her head against his neck. Parting her lips she began licking and biting the smooth, cool flesh until she heard him give a purr of appreciation.

Gripping her bottom Angelus rocked his hips against hers in sure deliberate strokes. She felt so goddamned good! This was better than screwing strangers at 'The Cavern' and better than screwing even Druscilla-who was a phenomenal screw. There was a time when he would swear that no one, whether human or vampire, could stir even a tenth of the pleasure that Druscilla could.

Beyond the need to defile her gifted purity, Angelus had been powerfully drawn to her in a way that defied all reason and logic. Even her eventual madness did not detract from the sexual bond that had formed between them.

But now...

Now was something even more powerful. The rightness that he felt being encased in Buffy's warm willing body went beyond the needs of the flesh. He felt as if he could stay within her forever. He felt as if he could spend the rest of eternity drinking in her incredible life force and beauty.

Watching her face as if one mesmerized Angelus took delight in each gasp and cry, in each look of feline pleasure, in each frown of painful ecstasy. He could almost forget that she was the Slayer...

His thoughts careened to a halt. She _was_ the Slayer. He vowed to destroy her. How could he forget just because she was on his dick? Angelus felt a sting of guilt in forgetting his mission so quickly. Taking pleasure from her body was not a problem, but once he started mentally waxing poetry-now that was a problem!

Giving Buffy's ass a particular sharp squeeze, Angelus seductively wove his spell to befuddle her mind. Not to enrapture her for the sole pleasure of mutual satisfaction but for the sole duty to enrapture her so she would humiliate herself for him.

Rotating his hips he firmly pressed into the swollen bud between Buffy's thighs, causing her to arch her back and pant even more loudly than before. Repeating his movements Angelus purred "It feels good doesn't it?"

"Oh...yes...yes..." she sighed.

"You love having my cock in you, don't you?"

"Yes...yes..." she murmured, clenching with the feel of her approaching release.

"Do you love my cock Buff?" he whispered against her ear.

"Oh yes...Angelus...yes" she moaned.

"Show me how much you love it...show me" he said against her parted lips.

Hazily Buffy realized that Angelus had slipped out of her and stood before her with his arms crossed against his chest. Dumbly she stared at his beautiful face while trying to stop the shaking in her legs. "Show me" he repeated, this time a bit more forcefully.

Suddenly Buffy realized what he wanted. He wanted her to take him within her mouth. He wanted her to do something she had NEVER done before, not even for Angel. Despite her naivete, Buffy knew that if she did this act for him there would be a tawdry quality to it. It wouldn't be an act of mutual equality and satisfaction but one of dominance and submission.

His dominance and her submission.

But did it have to be that way? Was she reading the situation correctly or was this all in her head? Looking up into his darkly sensuous face Buffy felt an intense, gnawing hunger beat within. Sooner or later she was wanting to do this for him, so why not now?

As one in a drug-filled haze she slowly sank to her knees. She was surely an addict now, just one hit of this demon and she was forever drawn to the sinful pleasures of Angelus' flesh. Drawing closer to him she pressed a heated open-mouthed kiss to the inside of his muscled thigh. Breathing in deeply she could smell the mingled scent of their passion: musky, alluring, and mysterious.

Buffy laid her hands on his hips while creeping closer to the jutting phallis. Her smoky gaze noticed everything: the way his curly dark hair gleamed wetly _From me?_ , the incredible length and thickness of him, and the way that he swayed towards her mouth, silently begging for her kiss.

Her eyes fluttered shut as she leaned forward to rub her lips against his velvety head. Delicately she tasted the saltiness of his elixir and the muskiness of her own fluids. Hesitantly she enveloped him bit by bit into her tiny mouth until she could only take about half of him.

Not by word or gesture did Angelus show his pleasure or displeasure. Stoically he stood there watching her hesitant ministrations on his staff. Buffy began a clumsy bobbing rhythm hoping to draw some moan or growl from his suddenly silent demeanor.

After several minutes she let her hand drift from his hip to gently fondle his heavy sac. It was amazing how all a man's vulnerability centered upon these two globes. The texture felt strangely pleasant, not quite smooth and lightly sprinkled with blond hair. Blond hair? How was that possible? Buffy briefly wondered if all men possessed this strange color down there or if it was merely one of Angelus' unique qualities.

Drawing away she let her tongue flick along the sides of his glistening rod until she reached his nuts. _Nuts-what a funny thing to call them._ Gently she stroked them with her tongue, watching in fascination as they drew up tightly. Looking up she made to ask Angelus about why that happened. All words remained stuck in her throat as she saw the hatred glaring from his eyes.

Damn her! Her artless efforts aroused even more than he thought possible. While pleasure was something that he had expected from this union, he didn't like the way this over-whelming passion made him feel. It wasn't an empty, mocking, degrading act that she just performed. She had innocently sought to please him and in doing so, she received pleasure as well. Buffy was supposed to feel shamed and humiliated while giving him a blow-job.

HE was supposed to feel superior at having her on her knees. Well, he did but not like he would have before in the past. She was supposed to be just an object, not even completely human. Instead she reminded him of what a shy but willing bride might do on her wedding night for the man she loved.

Why did he even think of this as anything close to a wedding night? Why did he even think of the L-word? Was he becoming tainted by emotions that Angel might have felt? Yes, that was it. It had to be it. He was being influenced by that sod in some fashion that was all.

Why not just take the pleasure she gave him? Why should he even give it more than a thought? Leave the over-analyzing to someone who gave a fuck. And perhaps it wasn't at all folly to view this as a wedding night of sorts. A wedding between the pure and the damned.

Seeing that Buffy had drawn away from him, Angelus twisted his lips in a semblance of a smile, crooked his finger at her and said "Come here lover, I won't bite-this time."

Slowly Buffy rose to stand on trembling legs. While the hatred had been replaced by blatant sensuality, she felt wary. What would cause him to look at her like that? Tremulously she asked "Did I do something wrong?"

Scenting the blood Angelus taunted her with "I told you that you've got alot to learn about men Buff." All the feelings of rejection came rushing through her as she remembered Angelus' slashing words from the past. How he had belittled and scorned her because of her lack of experience and now he obviously viewed her attempts to please him as pathetic.

Unwillingly she felt two fat teardrops slide down her face. Horrified at her lapse of control and the malicious grin on Angelus' face, she buried her hurt and hid behind anger. Stiffening her spine she cuttingly said "Looks to me that I've just had a bad teacher. Don't worry-I'll pick a better one next time."

There was a split-second of silence.

A split-second where the gentle drumming of rain could be heard. A split-second where the flicker of flames merrily swaying could be heard. A split-second where the chiming of a distant clock marking the late hour could be heard.

A split-second between the retreat of a mocking facade and the eruption of an enraged demon.

Angelus' hand shot out and caught Buffy full on the cheek, so quickly that even her lightening quick reflexes could not have saved her. In disbelief she shook her head in an effort to stop the ringing in her ears. Narrowing her eyes, her fist shot out and delivered a punch that caught him right in his chin.

Before she could strike again, he pounced on her. "Let's get something straight here Slayer-there will be no other teacher. Just me and only me. I don't share and I expect complete faithfulness from you. In mind, heart, and body."

Furiously she spat "Demand all you want Angelus but I LOVE Angel and I always will. Fucking you won't change that. Nothing will change that. Nothing." The fact that she used the very same word that she denied earlier, to describe sex with Angelus demonstrated how upset she was. Buffy truly hated him. To even think that she could sleep with him without being tainted was foolish to the extreme. She may have done this to save her friends, but to think that they could be anything other than enemies...

Angelus taught her a valuable lesson: to attach any deeper emotions or ideals on this empty act was a mistake.

Angelus' eyes became shuttered. Taunt him with that prick would she? "What do you think Angel would think about his precious and pure love getting on her knees and giving me a blow-job? Do you think he'd still honor you?"

"Angel would know why I did what I did. Anything I'd ever do with you can't touch what we feel for each other" Buffy firmly avowed, waiting to see Angelus' violent reaction to her words.

Instead he let out a bark of derisive laughter. "Even though you obviously enjoyed it?" Releasing his bruising grip he got up from her, walked a short distance and comfortably settled himself on the rumpled bed before addressing her again.

"Let me let you in a little something about Angel-boy Buff. He's not as forgiving as you might think. Did you know that the night he met the beautious Darla, he was drowning his sorrows in an ale house? Do you know why he was there in the first place?"

Standing up Buffy breezily answered "No, we didn't talk about his past very much. He felt it was a subject better left forgotten. Now after meeting you, I can see why."

"Oooh, good one" he amusedly grinned. Crossing his arms behind his head, Angelus continued with "Angel had been betrothed to the fairest flower in the land, a girl of irreproachable character and the epitomy of chastity. Angel loved this dark beauty with all of his young heart..." cocking a brow at her he innocently asked "Is any of this bothering you darling? Or did you really think that you were his first love?"

Swallowing down a little lump of hurt, she ignored his questions and boredly said "What's bothering me is the way you tell a story. Can you get on with it so I can go to sleep sometime this night?"

"Sorry babe, but you better not count on getting any sleep tonight or this weekend for that matter." Seeing that Buffy was about to unleash a torrent of words at his high-handedness, Angelus abruptly said "I do believe that I was telling you a tale, Buff. Kindly keep your tongue behind your teeth until I'm done."

Fuming Buffy stared daggers at him, torn between throwing him out of her house _Like that would do alot of good_ , and hearing the rest of his story. Curtly she nodded and gestured for him to go on.

"Now, where was I? Oh yes, Angel's dark love. I still remember the way Lady Fiona looked through his eyes. She was a truly beautiful woman, not in the same way women of this age look with all their artifice and unnatural hair coloring. No, she possessed a pure, flawless, natural beauty."

Buffy felt tiny pricks of jealousy as she heard Angelus talk about Lady Fiona. She never knew that Angel was to be married. But then again, why should she? The Watchers could only detail Angelus' activities, not Angel's. Tired of standing there naked she went to her dresser and pulled out a nightgown. "I didn't say you could get dressed" Angelus imperiously said.

"I didn't ask" she noncholantly replied. Seating herself in a chair, she drew her legs up so that her chin rested on her knees. As much as she didn't like to hear about this mysterious long-dead woman, she was intensely curious about Angel's past.

Angelus stared at her with open dislike before abruptly continuing. "Lady Fiona was beyond approach and possessed all the fine qualities that befitted her station. She knew how to oversee the runnings of a large household, could entertain with grace and talent, basically she was everything our dear Lord Angel could ever ask for."

"Wait a minute here," Buffy skeptically interjected, "Angel told me he couldn't stand the women of his generation. That they were simple-minded and boring."

"I take it you're referring to your playing at being a lady during All Hallows Eve? C'mon Buff, what was he supposed to say? Was he supposed to say that he wished you were other than what you are? Now you rude child, let me finish. He could find no fault with the fair Fiona, none except one."

Several moments passed in silence until Buffy irritably asked "Well...?"

"Umm? Oh sorry babe, got lost in the past." Angelus' eyes gleamed with mischief, not only from Buffy's unwilling interest but from knowing the end of this 'tragedy'. "Lady Fiona was decidedly lacking in passion. Other than a chaste betrothal kiss, she did not allow Angel any liberties. And I mean ANY liberties. She was in a word: cold. Beautiful and completely untouchable."

"Angel was utterly head over heels for his bride-to-be. Day after day he yearned for one tender look, one tender word, anything to let him know that she thought kindly of him. Nothing. All of his efforts centered on making her happy enough to love him in return." Reading Buffy's look of pain, he grinned and lightly said "A disgusting task I know, but that was Angel for you-always pining and brooding over love."

Buffy smarted from his subtle insinuation that Angel's love for her was more of an affectation than any real emotion. Stonily she stared at him and waited. Seeing that he wasn't going to get a rise out of her, Angelus continued. "Finally one night he decided to take matters into his own hands. How you wonder? On the night her family held a country ball Angel decided he would stay the evening instead of traveling the ten miles to his own estate and sneak into her room."

"During the ball he behaved properly like a well-bred lordling should, however every time he glanced across the room and saw his betrothed all he could think was how finally he would force some kind of affection from her."

Disbelievingly Buffy asked "Are you trying to say that he was going to rape her? Angel would never do something that horrible!"

Snorting Angelus said "Rape? Let's just say that our Angel believed himself such an artful lover that he believed it wouldn't come to that. All the dallying with country maids and occassional visits to a brothel would serve him in good stead, at least that's what he thought."

"But if she was engaged to him, why couldn't he wait until after they were married? Why that night?" Pausing, Buffy spoke slowly as a new thought took a hold of her. "Unless he thought Fiona was going to break off the engagement..."

Seeing how utterably delectable Buffy looked from the top of her disheveled hair, to the small frown on her forehead, to the tiny toes peeping out from under her nightgown, Angelus felt a stirring of lust. Deciding that she was too far away he patted the bed and said "Come sit next to me lover."

"I don't think so lover. I'm comfortable right where I am."

"If you want to hear the end of the story, you'll sit next to me." he winningly bribed. Debating on the wisdom of sitting so close to him, especially after how he had insulted her and her efforts to pleasure him, Buffy stubbornly stayed in her chair. Finally her curiosity won out and she got up. Before she reached him Angelus said "Bring the brush."

Distrust in his request made her stop and stare at him in suspicion. "Have you taken a look at you hair Buff? It's a rat's nest!" Her hand immediately went up to smooth the unruly strands. Laughing at her vanity he promised "I'll only use the brush to comb your hair."

After staring at his bland face for a few seconds longer, she swung around to find the brush that had fallen to the floor earlier. Lightly she muttered under her breath "What else would you use a brush for?" Because she was bent down she never saw the evil grin that spread across his handsome face. _I'll show you personally what I can do with that brush darling, sooner than you realize!_

Seating herself stiffly on the bed, Buffy felt Angelus move until he was behind her. Reaching around he gently took the brush from her fingers. For several minutes he ran the bristles through her hair, carefully working the tangles from her hair, until he felt the stiffness ease from her body.

"You catch on quick Buff." Angelus softly murmured while he continued running the brush through her blond locks.

"Hmm?" she languidly asked, momentarily forgetting the story of Lady Fiona and Angel. She hadn't had her hair brushed since she was a little girl. She had forgotten how marvelously wonderful it was to have someone else do it.

"Angel was worried that his fiancee might cry off from their betrothal. While it was a rarity, it was possible. You see in those days, a betrothal was almost as binding as a marriage. For either party to break it was a grave insult to both families."

"Why?" Buffy sighed. Angelus was even more gentle with her head than her mother had been. She never remembered it feeling this good. She could feel her whole body begin to hum from pleasure. She never knew that such a simple act could have such erotic undertones.

Lifting her hair up he placed a light kiss at the nape of her neck. Getting up he searched the top of her dresser until he found a box of pins. "Where are the ones I gave you?" he asked with a frown.

Buffy simply pointed to the closet. Remembering where he found the fur, he opened up the closet door and found the box that contained all of his gifts. Carefully avoiding the choker, he found the jewel-studded pins and came back to the bed. Separating her hair, Angelus twined one lock and secured it on top of her small head with a plain, white pin.

Answering her question he explained "A broken bethrothal meant alot of questions and speculations. Marriages were alliances for the aristocracy. To sever one, regardless of reason, inevitably made it harder if not impossible for either party to form another alliance. It was always an ugly scandal that was to be avoided at all costs."

"So why did Angel think that she would end it?"

"Because Lady Fiona was completely spoiled by her parents. Parents who wouldn't care if scandal touched them or not as long as she was happy. And the more time that passed, the more unhappy she seemed to be. Angel knew his time was running out."

Not understanding why anyone would ever not want to marry Angel, Buffy thought this Lady Fiona to be an idiot. However she was wise enough to keep that thought to herself. "But even if he did seduce her, couldn't she still call it off?"

"Not if she were compromised."

"Compromised?" she asked in confusion.

Twisting another golden lock into place Angelus reminded her that it was a "Different time, different place Buff. In this age, sex is commonplace. Nobody gives it very much thought if Betty Lou from down the street is shacking up with Johnny from around the corner. Back then, if any unwed maiden was caught in any sexual situation, from laughably tame to descriptively raunchy, she was forced to marry the man she was caught with."

"Well that's not fair!" she indignantly pouted.

"Maybe not, but it seemed all too fair to Angel. If he seduced her she would have to marry him either because he was too great of a lover to let go-" at this Angelus scornfully grunted, eloquently showing what he thought of Angel's prowess. "-or because she was ruined and possibly pregnant."

"Ruined?"

"Virginity was a highly prized commodity at that time. Coming to a husband's bed without that oh-so-important membrane was tantamount to murder, usually the bride's. Well maybe not during that exact time, but it was pretty damn bad. If even after that she still didn't go through with the wedding, Angel would expose her lack of virginity thereby forcing her to wed him."

Shaken by Angel's ruthless determination, Buffy softly said "Angel wouldn't be that...that..."

"Pathetic?" he helpfully supplied. "Oh yes he would. You should know what he's like when he's in love."

Bristling she rigidly defended him. "Yes, I do know. He's kind, considerate and caring. He would never force her to do something that she didn't want to do!"

Calmly Angelus replied "Ah, but he planned to Buff. Angel was prepared to do anything to keep Fiona. Anything short of murder that is."

Turning Buffy so that she faced him, Angelus continued pinning up her hair. "Being that it was in the country the ball ended rather early. Around midnight. Angel bidded his Lady Fiona a good night and then spent the next hour pacing in his room, waiting until enough time had passed. Finally he left his room and made his way to his sweet virgin's."

Pleasantly he asked "Do you know what he found when he got there?"

"No, tell me." Buffy already knew that whatever Angel had found must have been horrible enough to drive him into a bar to drink himself into oblivion. An oblivion that had only led himself to an eventual grave and rebirth.

"He found that someone else already beat him to it. In fact that someone else had beaten him to it for quite some time if his bethrothed's moaning and groaning was any indication." Pinning up the last lock, Angelus then placed one fiery pin on each side of her temple. "Enchanting" he absently murmured in satisfaction.

Turning to look into her mirrored dresser Buffy saw that Angelus had created a sleek coiffure reminiscent of a century gone by. Not only was he an evil vampire who made torture a hobby, but he seemed to make a wonderful hairstylist. "What did Angel do when he found her?"

Making a face of disgust Angelus replied "He left. I guess he was so shocked and hurt by what he had witnessed that he ran to the stables, saddled up his thoroughbred and rode hell for leather into the nearest town. Weak idiot!"

"He was not an idiot. He had just been cheated on by his fiancee! What was he supposed to do?"

Matter of factly he answered "He should have went in there, beat the crap out of both of them, cut off his brother's cock, shoved it down her throat, and then killed them."

Sickened by both Angelus' statement and what it implied Buffy wonderingly said "His own brother would do that to him? How could he boink his own sister-in-law?"

"Same reason people still do it now. Same reason why you allow me to do this." Leaning forward Angelus thoroughly kissed Buffy while running his hands up and down her cotton covered back. Pulling back he stared down into her flushed face with heavy-lidded eyes.

Buffy felt the strong rush of desire throb through her body. Carelessly she leaned back into his embrace and hungrily nipped and nibbled on his firm sensuous lips. Angelus lifted her until she was cradled in his lap, his mouth still entwined with hers. Releasing her lips, he leaned his forehead against hers and wryly said "You've got two choices lover: hear the end now or later. Make up your mind soon or I'll make it for you."

Buffy opened up her mouth to answer when Angelus crushed his lips against hers again. Thickly he murmured "Too late" and proceeded to lay her back against the fur. Their hands greedily roamed each other's body, desperate for every inch of their lover's flesh. Growling in frustration Angelus gripped the thin cotton and jaggedly tore it down the middle.

Buffy purred with delight in the feeling of her nude body against his. Without hesitation she parted her thighs where then Angelus settled himself. This mating was running on pure instinct with very little need for foreplay. Spreading her legs wider with his own, Angelus fiercely entered Buffy.

Her nails tore into his flesh as she gave a cry of painfilled pleasure. She sobbed against his ear as he began a fast, deep rhythm within her willing body. The fact that she was still sore from earlier did nothing to detract from the ecstasy Angelus created within Buffy.

Raising himself up on his knees, Angelus lifted her legs onto his shoulders. Buffy's breath hitched as she felt him slide in even deeper. Letting his hands roam her body he pinched one rosy nipple while caressing the silky curls to the hard nub of her clit. Teasingly he played with her, harshly groaning with each stroke.

Only her shoulders remained on the fur as she arched her body into his. Buffy felt the madness of lust tear through her. She could feel it burn into her brain. She could feel it beat throughout her veins. She could feel it batter against her heart.

Each flame, each throb, each strike shouted one word: Angelus.

 _Angelus...Angelus...Angelus..._

Twisting against the fur, Buffy felt something slipping away. Sobbing she recognized that a tiny piece of her was deserting Angel for Angelus. This dark demon was taking her away from Angel. _Angel!_ she silently cried while her body writhed for Angelus. The pleasure was too great for her to resist him. _Please Angel-don't leave me!_ she desperately thought. Yet still something else chanted throughout her body.

 _Angelus...Angelus...Angelus..._

Reading the agonized play of emotions on her face Angelus doubled his efforts. Relentlessly he allowed her no retreat, mentally nor physically. He knew her struggle, the battle in her heart between himself and Angel. However, Buffy WOULD submit to him completely or she would die resisting. There could be no other outcome.

Releasing her nipple his hand traveled along her hip until he gripped her bottom. Slowly spreading her cheeks, he trailed his fingertip against her tiny, secret hole. He felt her instinctively clench against him so he soothingly stroked the entrance, making no move to invade.

Angelus patiently stroked her from above and below while intensely watching her beautiful face. He saw the fear ebb from her eyes and her squirming to escape ceased. For the span of a second she opened her luminescent eyes to stare at him full in the face. Silently Buffy seemed to ask him _How can you make me feel something that I shouldn't?_ before her gaze became soft and unfocused.

Trembling she gasped as the contractions of orgasm stole over her body. When Angelus' finger slipped in, just a tiny bit, Buffy let out a muffled shriek. The intensity of her pleasure rose at the feel of his stroking digit.

As she came down from her high, she felt him release her until he was laying full on top of her again. Taking small sips from her mouth he waited until her breathing lost its' jaggedness. When he felt her slim arms link around his neck he bit down on her full lower lip, causing a small bead of crimson to well up.

"I wonder if a particular angel is weeping now," Angelus wicked murmured against her lips before licking her delicious blood. Giving a cry Buffy attempted to pull away from him. Gripping the sides of her head, he voraciously kissed her while resuming his previous thrusting.

Not even trying to bring her over the threshold with him, Angelus soon gave hoarse cry against her lips before spilling his dead seed inside of Buffy. Their hips were glued together and not an inch separated them as he laid heavily upon her tiny frame.

Buffy laid perfectly still while staring at the shadows on the ceiling. Tears crept from her eyes, running down the side of her face and wetting the hair at her temples. She felt so confused. While her body might lust after him, her heart was supposed to inviolate. Her heart was supposed to belong solely to Angel and now she knew it did not. _Why? Just because we've had sex? Isn't that supposed to be so cliche-to confuse sex for love?_

Angelus nuzzled her neck and then leaned up to watch the tears fall from her eyes. A grin slowly spread across his features. He won, Angel lost-at least a small part of her. Reverently he kissed each tear as it slid down her face. Buffy fully expected to hear his smug voice gloating. He did not.

However his voice did break the hush that had fallen. "Sometime between taking the tavern wench and downing his seventh cup of working man's grog, Angel swore that never again would he be such a fool. Never again would a woman's beautiful smile stir his heart. In his eyes, the faithfulness of woman was a myth. A sham. A lie. He swore that from that moment on HE would be the one breaking the hearts."

"Well, I'm sure you know the rest of the story. A pitifully drunk Angel stumbles out of the tavern to encounter Darla. The two stroll into an alley, she takes a bite, he takes a bite and the bugger dies right there amidst all the filth and rubbish. A rather sad and ignoble fate for such a young man, wasn't it?"

The tears continued to seep from Buffy's eyes as she silently watched him while listening to his voice. His ever-persuasive, smooth, sensuous voice. The voice of a killer. The voice that had haunted her dreams for weeks. The voice of a hate-filled demon. The voice that promised and delivered such magical pleasure. The voice of a damned soul.

A voice that silently beckoned her to love him, despite what he was.

Smoothing the hair back, Angelus traced the planes of her face. "His body was found and given a most proper burial. The family tried to quiet all the details of his death but naturally there was speculation. It was quite an embarressment for Angel's family-how dare he up and die in such a lewd fashion?! Over time he was forgotten, but most especially when the alliance between the families continued. Lady Fiona became betrothed to her lover, Lord Michael."

"After a period of 'mourning' the two married and lived quite a happy life. Not only did Fiona marry the brother she wanted, but the penniless second son was now heir to a fortune. A fortune which soon became his once his father died. Life was good-until I came back."

"You see, Angel's thirst for vengeance crossed the grave. I was instilled with it, except I magnified it until it was ten times as great. I waited for a few years before coming back and oh, was it worth it!"

 _The two were happily frolicking in their beds as he had crept into the room. After a few minutes he gave a loud round of applause causing them to break apart. Fiona's face became as pale as his as she croaked "A-Angel?" To this he replied "Angelus."_

 _Michael sputtered "B-but you're d-dead!"_

 _Evilly grinning he had agreed. "So I am, brother dear." Leaning against the post he had let his eyes casually rove over Fiona's nudity. "This is what Angel lusted and loved for all those years?" he had drawled. "Frankly I don't see why. You're running to fat dear, it's a wonder you can bear to look at her at all Michael."_

 _Frantically she had whipped a blanket over her, before spatting "What do you want? If you've come to try to take your position, we won't let you. Michael is lord here now and he'll have you killed before giving this up!"_

 _Stroking the short beard that had covered his face, Angelus mockingly appeared to give thought to her threat. "You think so? Don't you think it will be hard to kill a man who's already dead?" With that he had allowed his visage to be transformed to show his true face._

 _Both humans had screamed loudly before he stalked over to them and immediately quieted them by knocking them out. Slinging both bodies over his shoulder, he had calmly left the manor and made his way to his temporary lair._

 _It was the oddest disappearance to be sure and such a tragedy for both well-respected families. To lose not one but two sons and to lose an only child-simply dreadful. Their bodies were never found again, but then why should they have been? At the end, there was hardly anything left._

"You see Buff, Angel would not take too kindly to the fact that the first woman he allowed himself to love, since all those years before, would eagerly spread her thighs for another. Most especially the demon who lived in his body."

Buffy's eyes darkened with pain and a muffled sob escaped her lips. After hearing the tale she felt like the worst sort of slut. It didn't matter that she did this to protect her friends. The fact that she had enjoyed herself so much was what made her feel like a whore. The fact that she knew she would do it again sickened her.

She would keep doing this again until Acrymydion killed her or Angelus no longer wanted her.

Kissing her sadly twisted mouth, Angelus murmured "Angel made me what I am. His disillusionment, his vengeance, his hatred towards the fairer sex, filled me. I took what I was given and made it my own. His betrayal became my creed. All the death and destruction I have visited upon womankind has been because of Angel's final hatred. HE fed it to me. Every woman I have seduced, every woman I have killed, every woman I have driven insane has been because of Angel. Every single one of them has borne Fiona's face and faithlessness. All of them have been dark-haired, blue-eyed beauties-just like her. Until you..."

Hardening his voice he demanded "So listen carefully: I will not tolerate another to go where only I've been. I will not play Angel to your Fiona, so if you value your pretty skin you WILL be faithful to me. Do you understand?"

What else could she do but nod? She would be faithful to him even though she was faithless to Angel. She couldn't stay true to the soul but she would stay true to the body. "Yes Angelus, I understand."

Satisfaction transformed his face to unholy beauty. "Good girl. I know you won't disappoint Slayer." Leaning down he gently kissed her until he could her arousal scented the air around them. _She is so lovely in her misery._ That was the last thought Angelus had for a while as he took pleasure in her body again. And again. And again.

It would be a pity if he broke her too soon. A definite tragedy


	15. Chapter 15

Buffy felt a hand stroke her belly, insistent and teasing. Mumbling sleepily she rolled over to her side and burrowed deeply into the fur. Tiny nipping kisses began to trail along her exposed back, causing her to let out a small sigh of pleasure. She quickly awoke, however, when she felt two sharp nips on the tender flesh of her bottom.

Blinking in the pre-dawn darkness, the candles having sputtered out hours before, she whispered "Angelus?" The night had been an arduous study in passion. He had been insatiable, allowing her no respite until he had left her drained and weak. Taking a measure of pity on her, Angelus had finally allowed her to sleep within the hard circle of his sinewy arms, but not before slaking their passion one last time. Glancing at the bedside clock, Buffy saw that she had only been asleep for perhaps an hour.

Angelus said nothing. Instead he crawled up her body, leaving a trail of searing kisses, before finally laying behind her. Gathering her tiny form in his arms, Angelus began nibbling the soft skin of her neck while slipping a thigh between her own.

Buffy arched when she felt him run his fingertips across the rapidly swelling flesh of her core. Her mind needed sleep yet her body began to waken once more. She slightly flinched when his fingers teasingly plunged inside. The lustful hours of the night had taken a toll on her near-virginal flesh. Softly she protested "I can't...I'm too sore."

Seductively he whispered hotly against her ear "You'll want it-I promise baby." Licking the delicate outer rim, his tongue dipped into her ear for the briefest moment. Buffy shuddered and her entire body erupted in goosebumps. "But-" she half-hesitatingly protested.

"Ssh...no buts" he firmly ordered. Pliantly Buffy turned her head towards his mouth. Softly he kissed her passion-swollen lips while placing her slim leg upon his hip. Patiently Angelus caressed her delicate flesh, coaxing her body to release her sweet-smelling moisture. Between his feather-light grazes he sipped from her willing mouth, delighting in her artless enthusiasm.

She was the purest ambrosia. She was alluring. She was innocence revisted. She was untutored passion explored. She was perfection.

She was HIS.

The night had not been long enough. Angelus felt like a man dying of thirst only being offered the merest sip of water. Before tonight, he would have expected to lose his unnatural fascination for Buffy quickly after having her, but the opposite proved true. He needed to have more of her. His hunger would not last forever would it? It never has before. Even a Slayer would eventually lose her damning appeal.

After the passion between them became exhausted then he would finish her. Or perhaps he would rip her heart out and give it to Dru, but either way she would be gone. Whether it was next week, next month, or next year. It would happen. After slaking his lust on her, he would make her his kill and then promptly put her from his mind.

Hearing her tiny cry of need Angelus grimaced, burying his face in her fragrant upswept hair. Now the reality of having her here with him confused him. Knowing that her beauty would be extinguished for eternity dimmed the clarity of his deadly quest. She was so enjoyable, so responsive, so eager to please. So full of exquisite untamped emotion. Should he destroy this purity forever?

Perhaps he could make her his mistress. If he had the Slayer on her knees, literally and figuratively, if he had her total obediance, if he had her love-then who or what force could deny that he would be the most powerful vampire that walked this misbegotten planet?

And all without killing her.

Mentally shaking his head, Angelus decided it was too early to be thinking about the future tomorrows. It just wasn't like him to think beyond each hedonistic moment. With every other woman he took what he wanted until he felt that the thrill was gone and then he disposed of the situation.

Why should it be any different now just because the girl next to him was his eterenal enemy and a Slayer? Besides, it would be refreshing and enjoyable to corrupt Buffy. Who was to say that she couldn't be his mistress until he tired of her? Why must she be an immediate kill or a long-term liaison?

Why couldn't she be both?

Easing the tip of his cock inside her, Angelus gritted his teeth as the incredible velvety heat encased him. Buffy would make an exquisite mistress. The best yet. He would mold her so that the only one she wanted was him. He would fashion her so that her every wish, her every desire would be for his pleasure.

Buffy soon became greedy for more than just the merest bit of him. She began rocking herself against his body in an effort to draw him in deeper. Angelus casually laid one hand on her hip and kept Buffy from taking more than he allowed. Nuzzling the delicate flesh of her throat he drew out the tension between their bodies for endless minutes.

All too soon Buffy was brokenly sobbing from the intensity of his torment. Reaching behind her she entwined her fingers in the rough silk of his hair. When she gave it a sharp tug he immediately responded by biting down the skin between her neck and shoulder. "Play nice Slayer" he sternly admonished.

Her helpless abandon pleased Angelus greatly. She wore her need for him so beautifully. Her every sigh, her every silken glide against him, her every BREATH begged for his tainted caress. A caress that he would withhold because it pleased him to see her in such exquisite agony.

Buffy would be his greatest creation yet. She would be the diamond in his crown of sin. Gently playing with the pebbled flesh of her rosy nipple, Angelus closed his eyes and listened to the symphony that began to play from his simple touch. The music of her hitched breath and wildly beating heart could not have been better orchestrated.

Buffy let her fingers fall from his hair only to splay them on the fur in front of her. Twisting her body forward she panted harshly as every nerve in her screamed for mercy. The discomfort of her swollen flesh was a forgotten memory. The natural need for sleep was an unnatural and unnecessary encumbrance.

Drawing in shallow pants of air, Buffy did not understand why Angelus was denying her. Her chagrin rose as she disjointedly thought of how HE had been the one to awaken her and now he was purposely leaving her wanting. Her demand of "Angelus!" came out as a high-pitched plea instead of a forceful command. Buffy raggedly sighed in bliss when she felt him slide in deeper.

But once more it was just slightly.

"It feels good, doesn't it?" his hot whisper flicked against her ear.

"Yeesss..."

"Tell me what you're feeling. Do I make you burn?" Angelus darkly asked while rocking his hips against the smooth flesh of her bottom, giving her enough to make her croon but withholding enough to leave her wanting.

Her eyes fluttered open. "Yes...I feel hot...achy...it feels good...but it..." Not knowing how to describe the unnamed feeling, Buffy twisted and groaned. Instead of soothing her desire, the rhythm of his body tormented her even further.

"It hurts too?"

Nodding her head, she realized that it did hurt. Her passion-enflamed flesh throbbed with a painful ecstasy. Each stroke stretched her, branded her with a prickling possession. Each time the tip of his cock left her, it made her quiver in a mixture of gratitude and regret. The momentary emptiness and relief from his invasion dissipated with the hunger of wanting to feel him all over again.

Each stroke blended the best and worst, combining to leave Buffy as a writhing, aching, maddened thing. She hated feeling so out of control. The entire night had been one of Angelus' own making. He demanded for her to bend to him completely. He petted and played with her as if she were his own porcelain doll come to life.

Buffy's hazy rationale recognized this and railed against it. Against him. Why did their battlefield also have to include her bed? If only she would get up and show Angelus that she was not his toy! She felt his body curve against her own, reclaiming every inch of her in silent domination, almost as if he knew her rebellious thoughts.

His long graceful fingers lazily played with the soft curls between her legs. Buffy softly moaned with anticipation of any of his fingers touching the small piece of flesh that jutted boldly. Earlier in the night Angelus had wickedly whispered against her mouth that it was called a clit. She knew she had one, but didn't know quite where it was (the benefits of not paying attention in sex-ed).

Tensely she waited for him to give one brush, one caress, but all too soon he moved his hand away. Disappointed, she sagged against the bed and ground her teeth in frustration. Was it worth it? No...Yes...he brought her body to life in such an exquisitely powerful way!

"How bad do you want it Slayer? How bad do you NEED it?"

Mutely she shook her head back and forth. She would not beg for him. She would not. His heartless chuckle made shivers run up and down her spine. "If you don't tell me, I can't make it better" he temptingly beguiled, willing her to say the words.

Buffy's body was racked with flashes of searing heat. Futilely she tried to crawl away, but Angelus wrapped his arm around her waist and hauled her against his cold chest. "Going somewhere babe?" he insolently asked while still continuing his maddeningly shallow thrusts.

Finally Buffy wearily demanded "What do you want from me?!"

Countering her with a question of his own, he indolently asked "What do you think I want?"

"I don't know!" she wailed in frustration. She was so hungry, so angry, so lost. She didn't want to be reduced to begging him, but any more of this...

"I've already told you Buff." He hotly kissed her shoulder. "Let me make it better." Avidly he waited for her response while running his lips and tongue on her delicate jawline.

A taut line of tension finally snapped. "I want it soo bad...I can taste it! I'll go crazy if you keep doing this!" Buffy's voice sounded so desperate and so distraught all at the same time.

And just the way Angelus wanted her to sound like.

It had already begun. She would learn that her passion was directly tied in with HIS own. She would learn that HE controlled and commanded her body, that HE was the one who dominated. She would find that HE would reward and punish her at will. She would know that he could dole out her pleasure lavishly or miserly dependant on HIS mood.

She would learn that he would worship her body and spoil her like a personage of royalty. She would learn that being the mistress of a vampire was a role unlike any other in existence. She would crave and fight to be his possession. She would adore his gifts and trinkets and feel blessed that she was Angelus' and not Angel's. She would sigh in delighted bliss upon learning that virtually any materialistic want could be hers if he so desired.

She would soon learn that her life was intertwined with him and she would soon be unable to see it any other way. She would soon love him for all that he could make her feel and for all that he could give her.

But that's not all that she would learn. She would learn about the delicate art of submission. Angelus knew that she would look so tempting at his feet. He knew she would respond to pain so gloriously. In fact, she would learn so well that there would be times when she begged for his heavy hand.

And he would happily oblige his darling.

She would soon learn that he would punish her simply for the joy of seeing her plead and suffer. Angelus looked forward to introducing her bottom to his leather belt. He already knew that her ass would color ripely to a deep cherry hue. Imagining that she would be so beautiful with tears rolling down her face while presenting her backside to his lengthy ministrations hardened Angelus even further.

He could hardly wait to summon her hidden masochism. Tonight though, she was still his little virgin of sorts. He would be merciful and reward her for her capitulation. Tipping her chin with his finger, he covered her soft lips with his own. Pulling away from her clinging mouth, he moved away from her and laid on his back.

Taking ahold of her slim hand he tugged until she lay half on him. Seductively he whispered "Make me hurt lover. Use my body to make yourself feel good. Fuck ME Buff."

Buffy felt him guide her body until she was straddling his hips. Clumsily she tried to impale herself on him, but instead he ended up butting against her other entrance. Jerking away, she held herself up above him. "What? Don't think that would be fun lover?" Angelus asked with a smirk.

Flushing hotly, she shook her head. Sex was still too new for her to even contemplate what he was suggesting. Besides Angelus wasn't serious, he was just trying to mock her for her innocence-wasn't he? Raising up on her knees Buffy tried to lower herself on him again. This time his penis just slid against her and ended up resting against her belly.

Amusement gleamed brightly in his dark eyes. Buffy's lack of carnal knowledge would be touching if he had a heart. He observed that her face was twisted with a mix of frustration and embarressment. It would appear that he would have to teach his petite darling everything.

Not that he minded though. There was nothing more enjoyable that despoiling virgins. His title shouldn't have been 'Angelus-the Scourge of Europe' but 'Angelus-the Scourge of Virgins'. Stroking her thigh, Angelus waited until she looked at him.

Buffy bit her lip as she waited for him to mock and ridicule her. She wished she could disappear or melt right into the floor. It wasn't as if she hadn't seen this done in the movies, so why was it so hard in real life? Instead of the imagined derisive words, she heard him only say "Grab me."

In silent query she glanced down at his straining cock and then looked back at him. In answer Angelus took her hand and wrapped it firmly around him. The feeling of the Slayer's small hand touching him caused the vampire to loudly groan. His hand left her thigh and traveled up to pet her damp curls. Parting her with his fingers he huskily instructed "Now just let me slide in."

Biting her lower lip Buffy realized that she would have to bend him back slightly. Correctly reading her hesitation Angelus assured her with "It won't break off you know. Let me show you" He placed his hand over hers and guided himself into her. When Buffy inhaled sharply from his entrance, he ferally grinned and murmured "That wasn't so hard, was it?"

She could have cried with joy at the feeling of her lover filling her completely. Once she was resting fully on his hard stomach, Buffy let out a small purr of satisfaction. This was answered with a much deeper purr and a firm pinch to both nipples.

Laying her hands on his chest Buffy began to slowly move on him. At first her motions were hesitant and a bit clumsy but she soon gained confidence and speed. Before long she was slamming herself down on his staff, her only focus being that of release. It never occurred to her to be coy and teasing, or vindictive and petty for the sole purpose of repaying Angelus in kind. Just as in life, Buffy was honest in her passion and her need.

Her demon was not disappointed. Her lack of guile just proved to him that Buffy was truly an innocent despite her world. Women hadn't really changed that much since the last time he walked the earth-they were just as deceitful and just as dishonorable now as they were then. How many times had a lady gleefully used her body to manipulate in attempt to control him?

However Buffy was truly unique: a priceless gem found amidst the rubbish. Watching her small mouth fall open with desire and her eyes become heavy, Angelus felt a thrill shoot through him. His obsession had been worth it. His patience had been more than worth it. The Slayer was bouncing up and down on his cock-and loving every moment of it.

It had all been worth it.

She would be such a lovely toy. He would love stripping away everything that she felt for Angel and he would love watching the self-hatred eat away at her. But most of all he would love watching her climb into his bed night after night, knowing that she was his whore.

His pet. The mistress of a demon king. His own living, breathing slave of eros. Digging his fingers into her soft hips he felt his fangs lengthen as he watched Buffy's face contort from orgasm. Without being told she yelled out HIS name several times before collapsing on his chest.

Weakly she still raised herself up and down on him, wanting him to join her in the powerful wash of sensation. A few locks of hair had fallen from their pins, some teasingly tickling her back and others laying on Angelus' cool chest. Softly she kissed his flesh, vaguely feeling disappointed that the night was going to be over. Soon he would have to leave.

Where exactly did this leave her now?

Somewhere damned between Angelus and Angel she supposed. Wanting to tamp down a stab of guilt she leaned up and kissed him full on the mouth. She felt a sharp prick tear her lip. Blood welled up from the wound and ran into their fused mouths. Buffy tried to pull back but Angelus firmly gripped the back of her head and held her in place.

His hips started arching off the bed and slamming into her, driving himself deeper than ever. The combination of his heady triumph, Buffy's blood, and her delectable body drove him over the edge. Crushing her to his chest, he hammered into her until he felt the familiar and oh-so-wanted beginnings of release.

His hoarse groan was swallowed by her mouth as he endlessly spasmed from orgasm. Coming down from the tiny death, Angelus could feel Buffy still squirming and arching against him. Apparently his greedy darling wasn't finished with him.

Damn it felt good to be back!

Angelus, never content with being in a submissive position for long, flipped Buffy over until she lay on her back. For several moments he amused himself with kissing her, savoring each taste of her passion and desire. Finally he pulled away and casually got up from the rumpled bed. Walking towards his pile of clothes he began to dress himself, seemingly oblivious to the aroused girl behind him.

Dazedly Buffy watched him gracefully don his clothes, torn between admiring the rippling of his body and feeling frustrated that he had left her hungered. Again. Was this his method of torture? Not ripping off limbs and decapitating the bodies of family members, but keeping his victim in an endless circle of want and need?

If so, then this was infinitely more difficult for her to deal with than their nightly sparring matches had been. As the flush of passion cooled, Buffy began to feel the prickling of unease and shame. Did she do the right thing? Was it folly to assume that Angelus could keep to a bargain? Was he even now planning on carrying out his earlier threat against her friends?

Buffy's blood froze as she a new thought took ahold of her. While she was giving herself to him, did he have them killed? That would be the ultimate revenge against her-screwing her while her friends burned to death. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Angelus would not be Angelus if he didn't double-cross her.

So why did she even agree to the bargain? _Because I wanted him so badly_ she thought with anger.

Sitting up she lunged for the phone and frantically began dialing Willow's number. After five rings the muffled, groggy voice of Mrs. Rosenberg could be heard on the other end. Hanging up she quickly dialed Xander's number. By this time, Angelus was leisurely sitting in a chair fully dressed and quietly watching her with a waitful smirk.

Buffy's heart fluttered as she waited. If Angelus had them killed, there WOULD be no stopping her from driving a stake in his chest. She knew it with a cold certainty she had never felt before. The passion of the night dissipated as if it had never been. How could she spend the whole night screwing the monster before her with no real assurance to their safety?

Finally on the third ring Xander's grouchy voice answered with "At five in the morning this better be Ed McMahon with my long-promised check or else buddy!"

"Xander! Oh my god, you're okay" she breathed with relief. She felt the case of icy fear melt away from her body. Apparently Angelus did keep true to his word. Deep inside Buffy wondered if perhaps she KNEW that even Angelus would not have done such a thing towards her. If not, wouldn't she have already driven a stake into his heart otherwise?

Helplessly she felt another tiny piece of her drift towards the thought of loving him. She had no doubt that he was dangerous but was he really a danger to all? He could have tried to kill her and he definitely could have had her friends killed but he didn't.

Could he change for her?

Wondering if her feelings were clearly visible on her face, Buffy stared down at the black fur beneath her. Her quicksilver thoughts then took off in an another direction. He KNEW what she had thought and he just let her think it! Angelus knew that she had thought he had them killed and he had enjoyed it! He let her burn with the fear of his imagined crime!

Jerking her head back up she stared at his mischevious contenance with slitted eyes before once more giving Xander her attention. "Buffy? W-what...whoa...should I not be okay?"

Catching ahold of Angelus' knowing, smug look she looked away. "No, I'm sorry for calling this early. I was just having a dream-"

At this his sleepy voice perked up and asked "A dream? As in you were dreaming about me?"

Imagining Xander's crooked grin Buffy shook her head and smiled. "Yeah-I was dreaming about you Xander." Casually glancing back at the vampire sitting across from her she saw that the smirk was completely wiped off his face. In fact, she caught a mean gleam in his eye that seemed to grow harder with each passing second.

Ignoring him she gave Angelus her back and laid back down on her side. Listening to her friend she heard him oh-so-casually ask "So, umm, Buffy what exactly was I doing in your dream?"

Before she could answer she felt a firm grip on her shoulder and voice growl in her ear "Say goodbye Buff." Feeling annoyed with him, she asked Xander to hold on and covered the mouthpiece with her hand. She was not willing to ignore his sadistic trick.

Quietly hissing at Angelus she said "I'm in the middle of talking right now. Why don't you crawl into a sewer or something? In case you haven't noticed, the sun is going to be up soon."

"Say goodbye Buff-or else."

"Or else what?"

"You either say goodbye to him on the phone or you say goodbye to him at his funeral. Your choice."

Pulling away from him Buffy angrily glared at his coldly handsome face before spatting "You are so damn repetitive, did you know that? It's always 'If you don't do this or if you don't do that there's going to be a funeral', blah, blah, blah."

Arching a thick brow he inquired "You think so? I'd hate to be repetitive Buff-why don't I do something to change that?"

Reading the determined cast of his features, Buffy hurriedly removed her hand from the phone and said "Xander, I gotta go. Sorry for waking you up."

Angelus arrogantly took the phone from her hand and hung it up, not even giving her a chance to hear Xander's reply. He was more than annoyed at her new show of spirit and her bitchiness. Whereas before she was a whining, pitiful girl standing in the rain with blood-caked feet awaiting her fate, a fate that solely rested in his hands, now she pridefully glared as if the previous girl had never existed.

Well that girl _did_ exist and no amount of Slayer pride would erase the fact. Buffy had better learn quickly that her disdainful airs would not work on him! Whether she knew it or not, HE knew that her contrary words were because of thwarted desire. A desire that he had alleviated several times during the long night. So what if he left her unsatisified the last time? Did she think that this was going to be a partnership of equality?

Like HELL it would be!

He dominated here, not her. If he felt like leaving her wet and ready AND unsatisfied then he would! _And she damn well better get used to it_ he blusteringly thought. To his way of thinking Buffy should be glad that he even stalked and blackmailed her into bed, PERIOD, especially since her occupation was somewhat of a hazard to his kind.

The ungrateful bitch! He had already given her ten orgasms tonight, while her dearest Angel had only given her one. What was one compared to ten?! Nothing-that's what it was! And now she had the nerve to give that annoying fly the impression that she dreamt about him? In front of him, her lover, no less! And then she had the nerve to tell him to crawl into a sewer?

Buffy would learn that he was not some lackey to be dismissed at will. He was not one of those pimply-faced boys that spinelessly flop to a female's wishes. He was the one in charge here-not her. Damn if he was going to put up with her defiance!

Curtly he ordered "Get dressed."

"What?" she asked with surprise.

Impatiently he barked "Are you deaf as well as stupid? I said get dressed!"

"Excuse me? It's almost five in the morning and you want me to get dressed?!" Plumping up a pillow Buffy shoved it behind her before resolutely plopping back on it. She then pulled up the fur until it reached her ears and continued with "Look, since we're done I have to get some sleep. I'm not like you remember? I actually NEED my sleep while YOU do it when you're bored. So, go away."

Angelus seethed with the urge to throw Buffy against a wall or something equally hard. With a tremendous force of iron-will he ignored her words and walked over to her closet. Opening up the door he rifled through the contents of her wardrobe until he found a matching sapphire-colored skirt and long-sleeved shirt. Coming back to the bed he threw the articles on her body and once again commanded her to get dressed.

Before she could give him a tart reply, Angelus rudely stated as he walked away from her "Go naked or go dressed, it's up to you, but you WILL go. I'm not going to tell you again."

Sitting up Buffy mutinously yelled "No! Just because we...DID IT...doesn't mean that you can just tell me what to do without explanation. This is the twentieth century Angelus-not the middle ages." Seeing that he just continued walking away she exasperatedly shouted "Do you hear me? I'm NOT going, so there!"

He didn't even bother to dignify her heated words with a direct response. Stopping at the open door he blandly threatened "You never know what can happen to young people nowadays. Their lives are so fragile, so easily taken. All it takes is one misunderstanding and poof! they're gone. There are other nights Buff, remember that" before walking out.

Buffy could hear his heavy steps go down the stairs, each step echoing her unease and distrust. Just when she thought she knew what she felt for him, whether hate, fear, lust, or kinship, he managed to throw her feelings off-balance. Damn him! She wrestled with the urges to do as he ordered or simply ignore him and go to sleep. It wasn't as if he could drag her out of here if she didn't want to go.

Playing with the hem of her skirt Buffy sighed deeply. The fact was that she did want to go. She was wildly curious as to where he was going to take her. IF he was taking her somewhere; he never did actually say they were going somewhere. Or did he? She was too busy being irritated with him to actually pay attention to every word. Maybe he was just old-fashioned about certain things, like wearing clothes in the day.

Funny, she never would've thought him a prude. Frowning she re-thought that. Maybe he wasn't being a prude. Maybe that's just the way things were done. Her musings then shifted. If they did stay here, what would they do? Other than do IT. Not that she minded doing IT with him. It did feel really good. Blushing slightly at the newly made carnal memories Buffy's mind then flitted towards another series of thoughts. Would he be safe here? Glancing at the blanked-covered window she realized that Angel, no scratch that, _Angelus_ could not stay here.

At least he couldn't stay here comfortably. Instinctively she knew that he abhorred the brightness of day. While Angel liked to allow as much light as was safely possible, she knew the same did not apply to Angelus. He would hate having to avoid the rays of streaming sunshine that her house let in. He would hate the brightness of the day.

Angelus belonged in the shadows and the darkness. _Although_ , it was his fault that all the windows were broken and the curtains pretty much shredded by broken glass so he deserved to be uncomfortable...

Buffy's fingers froze as she thought of her mother's reaction. How would she explain the mass destruction of the windows? While a strong thunderstorm could break a window or two, there was no way she would be able to convince her mother that ALL of them got broken because of the storm.

Angelus suddenly appeared in the doorway. A fierce scowl twisted his features when she saw that Buffy was still naked. Crossing the room in less than three strides he harshly growled "When I tell you to do something you do it. If you want to act like a brat, then I'm going to treat like one."

Before she realized what he was about, Angelus had her thrown across his lap facedown. Bewildered she felt his large hand smack her bottom. A spanking? He was giving her a spanking? Rearing up she was immediately pushed back down. "Do-not-disobey-me-ever!" Each word was punctuated by a hard spank.

Sputtering Buffy indignantly cried "Disobey you? YOU don't tell me what to-OW! Stop that Angelus or I'll-OUCH!-Stop it you bas-OWWWW!" His blows landed so quickly that she would later swear that her ass must have been on fire.

One after another they rained on her until she felt the stinging pain consume her backside. Angelus held both of her wrists in one of his hands, only after she tried to dislocate his shoulder, while the other continued it's humiliating mission. Whack! Whack! The blows relentlessly fell while Buffy just bucked, wiggled and squirmed in a failed attempt to avoid them. "You-WILL-obey-me!" Whack! Whack! "When-I-tell-you-to-get-dressed-you-DO IT!"

Several minutes passed with Buffy promising vengeance and Angelus pointedly ignoring her threats. Finally she fell silent and swore to bear this humiliation with dignity-and dislocate BOTH of his shoulders. Time passed while Angelus continued his painful punishment. "I thought you were different Slayer. But you're not-you're just like the rest" he said in a disgusted tone of voice.

To her confusion she felt several fat tears roll down her flushed cheeks. _Just ignore him_.

Whack! Whack! "I pleasure you all night long..."

Whack! "Do you thank me for it? No." Whack! "Instead you act like a little bitch and order me off to a sewer. Buff," he gave a long-suffering sigh, "you don't talk to me like that baby. I'm not Angel, remember?" Whack! Whack! Whack!

Through gritted teeth she forced out "How can I forget? I like Angel, you I don't!"

In reply to her barbed statement Angelus let down a torrent of blows that soon had her struggling to keep in her cries. Continuing with his long list of complaints he stated "This entire time since I've been back I've let you destroy my fledglings..."

Whack! "I let you kick me in the balls..." Whack! Whack! "You get two spanks for that one Buffy and I promise you WILL make it up to me. Now where was I? Oh yes, now I remember..."

Whack! "I let Halburn live-" his hand paused in mid-air. Angelus turned a rigid Buffy over so he could see her face. "You don't know how much that cost me, lover. I REALLY wanted him dead. But he still lives..."

Turning her back onto her stomach, he resumed the spanking. Whack! "I even spared those clueless companions of yours when I should have put them out of their misery. Why were they even conceived? Especially Xander..."

Whack! Whack! "I spare EVERYONE that matters to you and what small thing do I ask for in return?" Stubbornly Buffy remained silent even though it was obvious that Angelus was not posing a rhetorical question. The embarrassing tears just continued to role down her face. "I'm still waiting Buff..."

Flippantly, if a bit foolishly, she airily said " _Angel_ go fuck yourself."

In a split-second Buffy was flipped over and dealt a slap across her mouth. "I've told you not to call me by his name! Why haven't you FUCKING gotten it yet?!" Enraged he turned her over his lap again and delivered a rain of blows that not only landed on her bottom but her upper thighs as well.

Buffy bit her lips in an effort to keep her cries and tears silent. In terms of pain this was nothing compared to what her body had been dealt in the past, not only from other demons but Angelus in particular. So why did a spanking affect her like this?

Maybe it was the because of the anger and seemingly sincere disappointment she had read in his face. He was so angry with her and this time it really bothered Buffy. It wasn't like this was the first time he was royally pissed with her, but whereas before she got a kick on making him as upset as he made her, now was different.

"All I ask of you is to do what I say." Whack!

"And it's not like it was a complicated request." Whack! "Put your clothes on. How hard was that?" Whack! Whack!

"I could have dragged you out bare-assed out on the streets, but I didn't." Whack!

"I was being considerate. I told you to get dressed. I even picked out your clothes." Whack!

Buffy tightly shut her eyes and stiffled a sob while her tears continued to flow. _Why? I don't understand why I'm crying. I don't understand why I'm just laying here letting him spank like a child instead of getting up and kicking the crap out of him. It doesn't make any sense._

Ever since Angel left and Angelus returned, nothing made sense in her life anymore. _Maybe it never will._

"All you've done since I've gotten here is treat me like shit. ME! You've pranced, teased and taunted me for weeks. Weeks!" Whack! Whack! Whack!

"Well no more Buff. If you want to act like all the other...ladies...that I've had the misfortune to know, then fine. If you want to be just like the rest, fine. But you WILL suffer the consequences!" Whack! Whack! Whack!

As much as she wanted to tell him to kiss off or go take a flying leap into the sun, she instead began to let out little choked sobs. _I'm not like those other women! I'm not!_ Angelus continued his merciless punishment without saying another word. In fact, the force of his spanks noticiably grew in intensity after Buffy's misery became audible. Her legs began to jerk with the last of his blows as they came down rapidly with barely a pause.

Suddenly his heavy hand stopped.

She felt Angelus release her wrists and gather her to his chest. Instead of her cries ceasing, Buffy began to noisily choke and sob with the increasing force of her tears. She twined her arms around his neck while sobbing into his silk-covered shirt. "I'm not like Fiona! I'm not! I'm not like them Angelus..."

When she felt him gently rub her back she began to cry even harder. Even though he was the reason her bottom burned and her pride lay in shreds, that one touch provided the needed comfort she desperately needed.

A malicious, triumphant fire burned brightly in Angelus' eyes as he comforted his little toy. She clung to his body tightly while her tears annointed the skin over his dead heart. Oh she was so beautifully pliant in his arms! The Slayer was such a emotional creature-she was so eager to please.

Already so, _SO_ desperate to please him.

Unwittingly she exposed another weakness-she did not want him to think badly of her. All he would have to do was even suggest she was like Lady Fiona and he'd have Buffy eating out of his hand. Tilting her chin with one finger he ran his gaze over her red and blotchy face. Even with swollen eyes and a runny nose she was exquisite. Her misery made her even more gloriously beautiful to his eyes and Angelus being what he was-wanted more.

Much, much more.

Regretfully Angelus drew on his reserves of patience. Patience was definitely a virtue that he had mastered over these long years in exile. Looking at his exquisite darling little Buffy, Angelus reined in his need for total, complete domination and humiliation. Submissiveness is an art that must be slowly introduced, otherwise she could be ruined prematurely. It happened with Druscilla.

It must not happen with Buffy. Cradling her to his chest Angelus murmured nonsensical soothing sounds until she finally began to stop her sobbing. Buffy gave out several watery sighs before lifting her head away from the solid strength of his chest. Looking up at him she felt herself compelled to bring her mouth up to his. Docilely she opened her lips and allowed his tongue entrance, moaning softly with a deep pleasure at feeling him thus.

Buffy then felt his hand creep along her thigh, pulling it down until her foot reached the floor. She then felt his fingers teasingly crawl upwards until they were just resting upon the soft fur that covered her. Ever so softly she felt him part her with one finger. Anticipation made her wriggle before his finger laid claim to the most secret part of her.

Buffy's back tightly arched against his arm. His one finger soon became several and she could only pant and mewl from the pleasure. Helplessly she writhed against Angelus, immersed in the mind-numbing sensations of the ecstacy between her thighs and the prickling pain of her blistered bottom.

She realized that already he had perverted her to his way of sex. Before tonight she thought that a person could not experience pain AND pleasure. She thought it was an impossibility. Now, he was showing her again that not only was it possible, it was wonderful.

What other things would he teach her? What other worlds would he show her?

Languidly opening her eyes she saw the coldness of Angelus' face as he watched her take the pleasure he gave her. His firm mouth was twisted in a derisive small smile while his eyes watched every nuance of emotion that crossed her face. Inside she recoiled away from him. His every touch was gentle-a perfect imitation of Angel. Yet the calculating avidness of his eyes made her want to turn away from him-Angelus.

Yet her body craved the tainted caress that only he could give her. She could feel her woman's release beckoning her with sweet elusive fingers. All it would take was one more stroke...one more movement of her hips... Before she could move his fingers stopped their dance. "No! I was so close Angelus" she breathlessly panted. "Why did you stop?"

He just wolfishly smiled. Pulling his fingers away Angelus held them in front of her face. "This is what is between us Slayer-sex. We give each other pleasure and that's it. I make you feel good...you make me feel good."

Buffy felt him rub her lower lip, leaving it moist from her own body. His tongue darted out and licked her slowly, savoring each taste. "But we do it my way. If you want to play, you play by my rules."

"Meaning?" she asked a bit breathlessly.

Angelus slowly smiled and drew his head closer to hers until his mouth was a hairsbreadth away from her ear. "Meaning," he darkly whispered, "if you want me to make you scream..."

Buffy sat there slightly trembling, anticipation radiating from her, just waiting to hear what her demon lover would promise. The moments dragged by until Buffy let out a soft ragged moan, her body unconsciously following the lines of his hard form. "If you want me to make you scream: you WILL get dressed!"

Standing up Angelus left Buffy sprawled on the bed. Glancing at the clock he said "We only have eleven minutes left. Hurry!" She laid there staring at him for a few seconds before her hand fumbled for the skirt and shirt.

Standing up she walked over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of panties. Midway through putting them on she heard Angelus say in a bored tone "I don't know if you'll feel comfortable in those. Besides I'll only rip them off later." Firmly she continued pulling them up, silently daring him to say something. He only shrugged as if to say 'Don't say I didn't warn you.'

Unfortunately he was right. As soon as the cotton touched her heated flesh of her ass, Buffy let out a slow hiss of pain. Angelus let out a low chuckle of self-satisfied amusement. Ignoring him she quickly slipped on the top and then stepped into her skirt.

Spying her white Keds by the door she picked them up. Looking at her bandaged feet she said "I think that they're healed by now. I'll take this stuff off first-"

"Leave it on. We'll take care of it later." Not wanting to get into another argument that could have her laying across his kness again, Buffy did as he ordered. Slipping on her shoes, she frowned at the snug fit. Reaching up she felt that several more locks of her hair fell from their pins. In a blatently false subservient tone she drawled "You don't mind if I do something with my hair, do you?"

"As a matter of fact I do. Let's go." Pulling Buffy by the hand he walked out the bedroom and headed for the stairs. When they reached the first floor, Buffy saw all the glass scattered on the floor. That and her blood. Remembering her mother she wailed "How am I going to explain this to my Mom? Dammit Angelus! Why did you have to break every window in the house? I mean, couldn't you have been satisfied with just one? I'm going to be in so much trouble-"

"Relax Buff, I'll take care of it."

"How? My mom is going to be back in town in three days Angelus. _THREE_ days. And what about if Willow comes by and sees all this-"

Stopping at the front door he turned around and lay one finger on her lips, efffectively stopping her panicked flow of words. "I'll take care of it. Now be quiet."

Snapping her mouth shut with a click, she shot him an offended glare before deciding that anywhere was better than looking at his face. Opening the door, they both walked out into the lightening night sky. Seeing the flush of dawn Angelus turned around and gave Buffy an irritated scowl. "We could've already been in bed by now if it wasn't for your bad behavior."

"MY bad behavior?! Excuse me, but you were the one who-"

"Be quiet!" Picking her up Angelus began to run. Fast. The world passed by in a blur as he sped towards only he knew where. Clutching his neck, Buffy never knew before how quickly he could move. She then wondered why all the vampires that she had slayed never moved this fast. Even at her fastest she couldn't move this quickly. Maybe it was because Angelus was so much older than all the ones here.

 _God Buffy! Why are you even thinking about dusted vamps? You're in your mortal enemy's arms! Very nice arms too...attached to a very nice body...which is attached to a very nice head...No Buffy...think of something else...Yes, like how nice it smells out here...and how nice his hair smells...Oh! Could you be any more lame?_

The first rays of sunlight touched the earth just as Angelus sped into a building and set her down inside the large elevator. He pushed a button with an ornate "P" before a panel slid open revealing a number pad. Several keys were entered before the panel slid shut and the elevator began its' ascent.

Wondering where they were Buffy looked up at him, expecting him to say something. Anything. He just stood there silent, staring straight ahead. But that was not all he did: he began playing with the fingers of her hand. She felt the familiar tingle spread through her body at his touch. Still watching him, she saw his mouth lift up in a smirk.

Blushing, Buffy looked away. She knew that he could smell her arousal. Feeling a little defenseless she snatched her hand away. Angelus did not object but instead reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette. When he offered her one she just shook her head. Shrugging he lit it and blew out a cloud of smoke. Not knowing what to say in the silence Buffy asked "Penthouse?"

"Of course."

Shrugging she said "I would've thought you'd be more of a "B" button guy. You know-basement."

"Well now you know I'm not." The elevator slid open with a quiet hum. Confidently walking out Angelus took several steps before realizing that Buffy remained where she was. Turning around he arched a brow and questioned "Well? Are you coming or what?"

Nodding she stepped out onto the black marble floor. The elevator doors immediately closed behind her, making her jump in surprise. Slightly awed Buffy observed the opulent surroundings that greeted her. She stood in a grand entryway that held few furnishings, but were ones of obvious wealth. Taking several more steps she noted that there was a large doorway to the right of her and a mammoth set of open double-doors just ahead.

Looking at the center of the floor she saw a startling ebony marble image of a griffin in stark relief against a circular crimson tile background. The same symbol that marked Angelus' shoulder was proudly displayed beneath her feet. That alone clearly suggested that this was his domain.

Angelus waited until she reached him before continuing along. "Thought you were trying to back out there for a second babe" he wryly said.

Buffy just ignored him as she tried to mask her discomfort. From what she had just seen, this place looked like a museum! Casually she held out her hand in gesture for him to proceed. Angelus let out a small laugh at her tiny bit of arrogance but kept any other comments to himself.

Walking down several carpeted steps he made his way through the large living area, tossing over his shoulder "Sit down." He thew his duster on the nearest chair before disappearing through another doorway, leaving Buffy standing in the middle of a room that was bigger than the entire first floor of her house.

Looking upwards she saw that the ceiling soared to, at the very least, thirty or more feet. At the highest point it curved into an intricately painted dome. Buffy let out a small gasp of reverence at the sheer beauty of the structure. Tearing her eyes away, she wondered where she should sit. She wasn't going to sit on the couch where he left his coat, but she didn't want to be so far away that she looked scared. He would believe exactly that if she tried to hide herself away.

Seeing an armchair she decided that it would make a good strategical point. From that particular vantage point Buffy would be able to see Angelus come in without facing him directly, therefore avoiding the appearance of being over-eager at his return. Sitting down on the overstuffed black leather she let out a pent up breath of air. Until then, there was no harm in checking out the goods...

Wide-eyed she took in everything around her. The place positively reeked of money. Lots of it. While she was not an antique expert by any means, Buffy could see that the wall tables, artwork, and occasional vase were old and expensive. The decor was a mixture of the modern and of the past.

Just like the vampire who presumably owned it.

The leather sofa and chairs were obviously new, yet the oriental rug it was arranged on seemed a bit faded and frayed. Glancing along the walls she saw several lush, green potted plants standing on ornate brass stands aligned in small groupings. _He'll kill people but not plants? That's weird. Well maybe I guess it's because he can't EAT plants..._

At one end of the room there was a gleaming mahogany dining table designed in what looked like a gothic fashion. The high-backed chairs were large enough that even Angelus would have plenty of room, so she could only imagine how dwarfed she would appear. It looked like the tables she had seen in movies where old, rich Europeans ate-only this looked like it seated ten and not fifty. Not surprisingly it too looked incredibly expensive.

Looking at the wall across from her, she noticed that the un-lit fireplace was the largest one she had ever seen. If she wanted to she could easily stand within it and still have plenty of headroom. She could only imagine how large a fire it would be able to contain. The heat would be incredibly intense. Feeling a little chilly, Buffy figured that with all the marble in here only a bonfire would be able to keep this room warm.

Nearby she noticed that there was a deep-red, cherry finish grand piano with a large, black brocade bench. Craning her head to the side, she noticed that there were well-worn sheafs of music resting on top. Buffy got the feeling that they weren't there just for decoration.

 _There is so much I don't know about him. There is so much more to him than I ever thought. He's not the total monster I thought he was..._

Firmly Buffy gathered ahold of her thoughts. Just because he didn't ravage her like she thought he would and just because he possibly knew how to play the piano didn't mean that he STILL wasn't an icky demon from Hell.

 _But he's not so icky anymore is he?_ a voice maddenly mocked her. Deciding she was just tired, Buffy figured that there was no use in wallowing in the confusion that Angelus easily stirred up.

Absently she noticed that there were several paintings above the fireplace ranging in different sizes, with a life-size portrait in the middle. It was a rather pretty painting done in pastels of a dark-haired ballerina. Who would've thought Angelus' interest in art included fluffy paintings?

Her unconscious assessment went on and on. Everywhere she looked all she saw were objects of considerable cost. The prettiest little jeweled eggs were housed in large curio case next to a state of the art sound system. The past blended perfectly with the present in this room. It all looked so beautiful, so unreal. Personal yet impersonal. This room was just an extention of Angelus.

 _How long before I am too?_ she sadly thought. Not liking the melancholy that stirred she straightened her back and spunkily answered herself with _Yeah, right. How about never?_

Her brief show of bravado was just that-brief. She felt ill at ease in the middle of all this. She never knew that Angel had access to such wealth. Maybe Angel didn't, but Angelus obviously did. Or perhaps he didn't. Maybe all this was ill-gotten vampire gains.

Not wanting to slobber over any more of the myriad objects anymore, Buffy began to tap her foot impatiently against the floor. Where the was he? Hell, if he was just going to leave her here all alone, she could have been back at home-asleep.

The minutes slowly ticked away as she waited for him to come back. Still there was no Angelus in sight. Tired of just sitting there Buffy got up and curiously approached the enormous lighted wall display at the opposite end of the room. It had caught her eye as soon as she had cleared the gigantic double-doors.

Numerous weapons brightly gleamed against the black silk background. Knives, rapiers, claymores, broadswords, daggers, even a battle-ax proudly hung as deadly wall decoration. Her hand fairly itched to wield one of the beautifully crafted rapiers. While all were in excellent condition, she could tell that some of the weapons were newer than others. The majority of the instruments were just as old, if not older, than their owner.

Suddenly Angelus was behind her. Laying his hands on her shoulders he murmured "Like what you see little girl?"

Buffy's heart started thudding with a potent mixture of distrust and desire. Stepping away from him she breezily answered "Got yourself a nice place here lover. Tell me-how much stolen money does it take to live like this?"

"Stolen?" Angelus derisively chuckled and noticed that for each step he took, she took a step away. Stopping in the middle of the room he watched as she moved by the piano. "You give me too much credit babe. This is all mine Buff." Coming towards his prized musical instrument he amusedly watched her scurry away towards the window.

"Really?" Waving her hand around her she asked "Nothing CONVIENANTLY made its' way into your hands? C'mon Angelus, you can tell me. It's not like I'm the police..."

Leaning his hip against the highly polished wood he swore "Not a stolen good to be found here, well maybe except for the sword second from the bottom over there, but other than that-it's completely legit." Angelus strolled over towards Buffy only to stop when she moved to another covered window.

A few moments passed in silence. Idly playing with an emerald curtain tassel Buffy nodded her head while sarcastically saying "Legit? I didn't know you even knew the word."

Tired of giving chase around the room, Angelus walked away and sprawled himself on the couch. Laying one arm across the leather back, he used the other to begin unbuttoning his shirt. "Lover I don't really care if you believe it or not. What I do care is for you to get away from that window and come over here."

Feeling an urge to make him wriggle she innocently asked "What window? Oh, you mean this window?" Looking up at the heavy, blue velvet curtains she mused out loud "Gee Angelus, don't you think it's kinda dangerous having windows here? I mean all it would take is just one accident and you would be several shades darker."

His face hardened while the ever-present smirk stayed firmly in place. "Buff, come here or I'll begin to think that you want something bad to happen to me."

Her eyes sparkled with maliciousness as she blithely said "Sure Angelus, I'll move away." As she moved towards him her hand still gripped the material, causing the window to become uncovered, leaving a certain vampire directly in the path of the morning sunlight.

But instead of writhing in agony or at least scrambling to get away, Angelus just sat there. Leisurely he continued to unbutton his shirt while she stood there with the confusion of someone whose joke backfired, the curtain still clutched in her fist. "Surprised babe?"

Untucking his shirt he laid his other arm across the couch and propped his feet upon the chinese dragon coffee table. "Was this the part where I get that tan or maybe you were hoping for something a little more drastic and lot more messy?"

Looking down at the black marble she saw a bright streak of sunlight shine across its' surface. Following its' path she saw it travel across the floor, up the table, over his long legs and end right on his pale chest. The sunlight was not hurting him at all. "How?"

"How what? Oh you mean how come I'm not a crispy critter?" Languidly lifting his hand he pointed at the sunlight portal. "Courtesy of a glass manufacturing company in France-the best money can buy. Not only does it let pesky sunlight in, but it keeps the bothersome U.V. rays out. Don't you just love technology?" he drawled.

Reaching across the table Angelus picked up a slender remote control. All the while keeping his gaze locked with Buffy's, he pointed it upwards. A splash of sunlight bathed the entire room. Looking up at the ceiling she saw the previously painted dome now sported blue skies and fluffy white clouds.

With just a click of a button the sunlight abruptly vanished to be replaced by the previous mural of human figures. Just what was it a painting of? Her attention was then drawn to Angelus as he pointed the control towards her. Here too the sunlight disappeared. Looking back at the window she saw that the clear glass was now opaque.

In his private domain he was safe from the deadly sunlight. If he wanted to he could enjoy the priviledge of the sun without suffering any of the consequences. Angel would have loved to have glass like this. Angelus instead chose to leave the room shrouded in darkness and shadows.

"Just in case you ever get any bright ideas about breaking the glass: it's also bulletproof and earthquake proof-meaning that even a Slayer can't put a chip in it."

Letting go of the curtain Buffy sauntered over towards the doorway. "Don't worry Angelus, I'm not like you. I don't get the urge to destroy other people's property."

"Where do you think you're going?"

Looking over her shoulder she assured him with "Relax lover, I'm just taking a look around. That is why you brought me here, right?"

Watching her with hooded eyes he lewdly replied "I can think of ten different reasons as to why you're here Buff. Want me to show you reason number one?"

Trailing her hand across the surface of an intricately painted vase Buffy looked over her shoulder, pointedly ignoring his question. "No really, that was the point in bringing me here wasn't it? Trying to impress me much Angelus? I guess that sewer comment kinda hurt..."

An enigmatic smile played across his lips for a split-second before disappearing. Leaning his head against the back of the couch he lamented loudly "Buff, Buff, Buff. Why do you have to talk so MUCH?" Looking back at her he shook his head. "Did you know that everytime I make you nervous you blab?"

"Excuse me? I don't think so. In fact I think that you're the one who's nervous right now. I mean this all fits perfectly: you have a demon-complex, not that I blame you by the way, and because of it you're trying to replace...no...displace the blame, that's right-the BLAME-on me."

"Buff?"

"What?"

"You're doing it again."

"I am not!"

Not convinced at all Angelus sagely nodded "Sure you're not Buff. That's not nervousness I smell in the air, nor do I smell anxiety, nor do I smell-" Taking an appreciative sniff he closed his eyes before letting out a masculine sigh of approval. "Nor is that the smell of a girl who's wet between her curls, right now, at the thought of getting fucked by her man, is it?"

Feeling yet another infernal blush Buffy sat down on the thick plush of the stairs. What now? She DID feel a little nervous again. Hell, she got nervous as soon as they left the house! And she did not blab everytime she got nervous! _Oh my God! I'm doing it right now!_ she internally groaned.

Well, maybe she was a _little_ nervous BUT not because she feared that he would try to hurt her, but because of this new intimacy. Where would they go from now? Why did he bring her here? Sighing she had so many questions and so many confusing emotions.

How did one treat an enemy who was now a lover?

Seeing Angelus crook his finger and beckon her, Buffy had a feeling that she was about to find out.

Getting up on her feet she slowly made her way across the room towards him. Once she reached the couch she attempted to sit down before Angelus curtly said "No." Her eyes began to slit with anger when he reminded her "My rules, remember?"

Huffing impatiently Buffy gave a small curtsy and breathed "Oh yes, my most-magnificient-bully. How could I possibly forget?"

While her sarcasm amused him, Angelus decided that he had had enough of Buffy's impudence to last him for a month. Grabbing her by the arm he wrenched her out of the mocking curtsy, causing Buffy to fall to her knees. Bringing his face right down to hers, he growled "It seems you've already forgotten a lot between now and twenty minutes ago, lover. It'll be my _pleasure_ to remind you."

Not giving Buffy time to respond, Angelus ground his mouth against hers. His cool tongue plunged deeply past her lips, boldy seeking and taking what he wanted. The hand she put to his bare chest did not push him away, as she had originally intended, but instead moved to clutch him to her.

She felt her body become covered in goosebumps when he left her mouth and instead clamped on to her neck, biting and nipping the flesh at will. Buffy moaned with pleasure as Angelus then alternated between the delicate skin of her ear and the smoothness of her shoulder.

His hand gripped the neckline of her shirt and ripped it off, leaving the bare flesh of her breasts exposed to his hungry caresses. Frightened by the barely controlled violence of his actions, Buffy let out a cry and attempted to cover herself. Without hesitation Angelus encircled both of her wrists in one hand. "Mine" was all growled before repeatedly biting the tips of Buffy's nipples.

His rough kiss made her cry out from the pain. Immediately he gently suckled away the hurt-and made her sigh in bliss. Rapidly he alternated between both extremes, leaving her uncertain yet anxious for more. Soon her entire breast tingled in an excess of sensation, until she could longer differentiate between the sting and the searing kisses.

He felt as if he could completely devour this tempting young morsel, she was that delicious. He had played the considerate lover all night long, restraining himself unnaturally, all in an effort to burn himself into her brain and body. After just this one night, he instinctually knew that it had worked.

Now it was time for her to see another side to him.

Angelus simply did not want to take the time to woo and seduce the Slayer. Before it was all over, he wouldn't have to. She would crave for him, regardless of his method. He wanted her to feel a demon's display of passion. She was ready for it and he intended on giving it to Buffy.

He was going to please this innocent girl as only a demon could.

Dragging her body up Angelus rapidly pulled the skirt off her flushed body, leaving the Slayer clad in a pair of cotton panties. Deliberately he looked into her passion-glazed eyes before ripping off the hapless material from her. "I told you I'd rip them off" he thickly murmured before throwing her face-first against the couch.

Buffy could feel the cold leather combat against the heat of her body. Everything was happening so quickly, she barely had time to think about how wrong this might be or how high-handed Angelus was acting. In a moment of honesty Buffy knew she frankly did not care. All she wanted was for this raging need within her to be quenched.

Dimly she heard the quiet hiss of a zipper being lowered before she felt his hands firmly grip her hips. Gripping the armrest of the couch Buffy knew what he was going to do. She knew that he would take her from behind for the first time. Wickedly she anticipated how it would feel.

Angelus growled low in his throat at the sight of Buffy eagerly spreading her legs apart. Even in the dimness of the room he could see the abused flesh of her bottom. Mottled red bruises overlapped much deeper purple ones, presenting a perfect tapestry of his dominance. His cock jumped when he saw the large imprint of his hand on her thigh. She was so beautifully marked. For the Slayer to bear his mark of possession was a heady rush of power indeed. Too bad it wouldn't last for long.

Oh well. There would be plenty of time for the making of new tapestries.

Reaching out he tightly gripped each cheek in his hand, delighting in the low moan of pain Buffy gave. "It hurts doesn't it? Remember this pain Buff, always remember who made you feel this." Letting go of her ass, Angelus moved the head of his penis against her moist female flesh.

Rubbing the salty tip against her, he could feel the shudder of pleasure she gave. Leaning over her back he whispered hotly in her ear "Now I want you to remember this babe." Suddenly he drew back and impaled her with one thrust. Buffy let out a shriek and dug her fingers into the armrest. Her insides burned with the invasion and her bottom protested at the feeling of his hips resting against her bruised flesh.

Not giving her time to adjust, Angelus began a pounding rhythm that was punishing to the extreme. He did not allow Buffy's arousal to dim, despite the dueling agony of being bruised inside and out. Knowing the power of the spoken word, he darkly whispered seductions that made Buffy's breath hitch. Not yet satisfied, he leaned over and ravenously kissed the damp flesh of her slender back while wrapping his arms around her tiny waist.

Buffy rested her head against the couch, her eyes tightly clenched. Her body shook from the sheer force of Angelus' thrusts. The pain was almost overwhelming, but the knowledge of knowing that it was HIM within her body saved her from feeling violated. Instead she almost felt liberated; he was taking the choice away from her-and giving her what she secretly wanted.

Didn't she sometimes wonder what it would be like to be fucked like this? To be fucked by HIM? Do be helpless under his onslaught? Hadn't she ALWAYS been curious about this beast? All those hours of discreetly reading about Angel's past, reading about Angelus' ruthlessness, wasn't it always for just this one moment?

The soft feel of the leather beneath and behind teased and caressed her trembling body. It was so deliciously erotic to know that while she was completely naked, he was fully clothed. She could only imagine the picture they presented: two creatures unrepentingly fucking. When Angelus' hand found her clit, Buffy whimpered in her throat. It felt so incredibly good.

The ceaseless thrusts of his hard flesh combined with the demanding caress of his hand to form a growing knot of tension within. Buffy's body soon began to moving in an effort to meet his thrusts. Angelus' deep purr rumbled in his throat, making her fling back her head with arousal.

Soon she became increasingly vocal with her pleasure, her cries echoing throughout the cavernous room. "Yes...yes...yes..." she helplessly panted. Everything tightened within, until it seemed as if her heart almost stopped, before Buffy let out a scream of ecstasy. Endlessly she clenched and pulsed from her orgasm, even as his pace doubled in speed, causing her tender flesh to burn.

Angelus felt his face transform, the fangs glinting dangerously in the dim room, while he rode the girl beneath him. His shaft hardened even further, his balls tightened in preparation of release, and the scent of Buffy's pleasure and her blood beckoned him. Grabbing a fistful of blond hair, he yanked her head back before sinking his fangs into the side of her neck.

The piercing pain shot through Buffy's body, combining with the after-shocks of her orgasm. Her legs trembled as she felt him greedily drink her blood. Ravenously he slaked his thirst even as she began to feel light-headed and weak. "Stop..." she protested while attempting to move away from Angelus.

Instead he sucked even more strongly, crushing her ribs while pulling her body up against his own. Her struggles only caused the pain to worsen. If she suddenly pulled away from him, she ran the risk of her jugular being torn wide open. Angelus was draining her and there was no one there to stop him.

Just when her world was becoming a vision of night and crimson, Buffy felt him slide out of her body and release his hungry hold. Bonelessly she sank to the couch, her breath exiting as shallow pants. Slowly her hand came up to the side of her neck. Touching the wound with the tips of her finger, she dazedly looked the stained digits, before letting her eyes drift shut.

Her arm dropped to dangle off the couch, her relaxed hand barely grazing the surface of the cold marble. Dazedly she felt the warm liquid trickle from her neck onto the couch. She could feel the sticky semen flow from between her legs while she lay on her belly. Wouldn't she end up ruining his couch? Maybe he didn't care. Why should he? Afterall, the couch would not last forever...

...only Angelus would.

Buffy could not focus on any other rational thought; staying awake for this long seemed a momumental task in itself. She wasn't dying, was she? "No...I'm...not...dying...he can't...kill...me..." was the last thing she said before slipping away to unconsciousness


	16. Chapter 16

"Buff! Buff!" Angelus was squatted before her, his fingers tightly gripping her chin. Her eyelids did not even twitch while her breathing seemed to come even more shallowly than before. Softly she mumbled the words _dying_ and _kill me_. His eyes hardened even as he transformed back to his human visage. Did he take too much from her? Was the Slayer dying right before his eyes?

Sharply he slapped her face in an effort to get Buffy to respond. She did not even wince, despite the fact that a livid mark was rapidly coloring her cheek. Running a hand through his hair, Angelus debated on what to do. He couldn't very well let her die-not yet-but then again, wasn't death the very thing he wished upon her?

 _Here she is, completely naked with her blood and your cum running out of her. Isn't this what you wanted? Isn't this what you fantasized about for weeks? The only thing missing is your bloody signature scrawled over her back! Leave her to die!_

He had wanted it. Badly. Irritably he scowled at her still form, noting how tiny and defenseless she looked. HA! Only after one night, this is what he reduced the Slayer to? He SHOULD just let her bleed to death...

But if she died now, what fun would he have in the weeks to come? Torture just wasn't as much fun as it used to be, and who knew how long it would take to find a suitable replacement.

Observing the unnatural paleness of her skin, he angrily spat, "Damn you Slayer! You WILL NOT escape me this easily!" Without further hesitation Angelus took a claw and sliced his neck until her blood ran freely from the wound. Holding her head he guided her until her lips touched his crimson skin. When she didn't move, he pried her mouth open and firmly held it against the welling blood.

Within a few moments Buffy murmured several unintelligible sounds. Closing his eyes, Angelus felt desire begin to build within again. For a vampire, blood and death were always the ultimate symbols of sex and here was a girl who represented all three. Softly her blunt teeth scraped against the raw wound as she began to suck more strongly.

Clasping her small head to his body, he wrapped his other arm around her waist and leaned back against the couch. Her body had lost its normal warmth, taking on a colder touch. He wasn't sure if this pleased him or not. Could she turn? Did he even want her to turn?

He had only planned on giving her a tiny amount of blood, just enough to take her away from Death's doorstep, but it just felt so damned good to have the Slayer gathering her sustenance like this. A growing growl built in his throat as he thought of how possibly all of eternity could stretch before them...

Buffy's body then stiffened and in a show of sudden strength, she wrenched herself away from Angelus. Tasting the blood, she spat it out on the floor. Rubbing the back of her hand against her mouth, Buffy was horrified. "What did you do to me?"

Nonplused he simply stood up and moved away to an armchair. "I saved your life Buffy." Neither noticed his use of her name. Absently he touched his neck.

"H-how much did I drink?"

A slight pause before, "Not too much." Pulling his hand away, Angelus observed the ruby stains on the pads of his fingertips.

Impatiently she snapped, "HOW MUCH?!"

"If you want to know if you're going to turn-"

"Yes?"

Another pause. "I don't think so. You hardly drank enough." Leisurely he licked the sweet blood away, wishing that he could taste it straight from the source again.

"You don't think so!" Buffy began to laugh humorlessly. Not only was she fornicating with evil, she might turn into evil itself. And her would-be sire didn't even know. Was this the price she had to pay for her sin? "How much does it take?" she rigidly asked.

Steepling his fingers Angelus waited another lengthy pause. "Exactly how much it takes, I don't know. But I DO know that it takes a helluva lot more than you drank."

Heedless of her nudity Buffy stalked over to him. "Why?" The quietly spoken word might have been a shout for all the emotion behind it.

 _Why didn't I let you die? I SHOULD have let you bleed to death and then danced a merry jig! But now maybe you WILL die and live forever..._

Hardening his mind against that he continued his thoughts. _Why does even the thought of you joining me for eternity make my long-dead heart quicken?_ Dammit, it was disgusting! At this rate he might as well pull out a book of bloody love-sonnets or ply poems devoted to her eyebrows!

 _She's just another female body, her parts are no more spectacular than any others you have known. Fuck man!_ None of the chaotic thoughts registered on his impassive face however. Unemotionally Angelus asked, "What would you have preferred Buff? Were you ready to die?"

Frustration laced her words. "You can't kill me! You are not meant to kill me!" _Acrymydion is the one. Not you. What have you done to me?_

Taken aback by her vehemence, Angelus surprisedly questioned, "I CAN'T kill you? What do you mean I CAN'T kill you? Look Buff, don't get any _grand_ ideas about this. I saved your life, not because I care, but because I can't have a dead Slayer in my home. That's hardly a declaration of love. So if and when I decide to kill you-"

"Oh will you just SHUT-UP?" Buffy began to pace. She wrapped her arms around her waist in an effort to stop the shaking that was slowly racking her body. She had just been physically close to death. She had just been fed the blood of a vampire. A _master_ vampire, which stood to reason that his blood was alot more powerful than any other vampires to be found here.

Was she dying even now?

Buffy's teeth began to chatter even though she was biting her lips in an effort to stop it. Why did he have to interfere? If he had only left her alone she would have gotten her strength back. She knew she would have! Her death was set in stone and it wasn't supposed to be by Angelus!

Buffy was so lost in her tortured thoughts that she did not pay attention to Angelus watching her. He was completely bewildered by her reaction. It wasn't as if being a vampire was a BAD thing. Hell, it was the best thing that had ever happened to him! So what if she were a Slayer? Surely the weak side of that wretched curse would be burned out once she turned.

IF she turned.

He honestly did not think that she would though. Buffy had hardly had enough to constitute a full exchange. The more time that passed, the surer Angelus became. Besides, IF she was going to turn she would have been physically dead by now. Instead she was pacing back and forth, her eyes wildly darting around the room while she made choked noises in her throat.

Looking at her closer he realized that her teeth were chattering. In fact her eyes seemed rather glazed and she definitely had the look of someone in fever. Perhaps she should get dressed. Before he could say something to her, she saw his discarded coat draped across the other end of the couch. Slightly stumbling she ran past him, picked up the duster, and slipped it on.

The sleeves hung a good foot past the tips of her fingers, while her body became completely swallowed by the cold, black leather. With every step the back of Angelus' coat dragged behind her. She looked very much like a little girl playing dress-up with her Daddy's clothes. Only she wasn't a little girl and the unnatural man sitting so perfectly still was not her Daddy.

At least not her human Daddy.

 _No! What if he does become my Daddy? What if he becomes my sire?_ Buffy felt the nausea rise from the pit of her stomach. She would become like THEM. She would kill for pleasure, for joy, for hunger-she would kill just to kill. What kind of monster would she become? She could very well become a sadist; she had already shown the beginnings of one that night in the cemetery.

She had enjoyed inflicting pain on her Angelus. She had loved seeing the stake fly through his hand, tearing the flesh and showering it with countless splinters. She had felt the heady thrill of seeing his surprise turn to agony. She had enjoyed it further when she had let the second deadly stake fly from her fingers. She had even heard the wood enter the firm flesh of his thigh and had felt a satisfaction so intense she had wanted to do it again.

She had felt all these things. All the while being human and most importantly, being the Slayer.

A lock of her hair fell across her cheek. Impatiently she pushed it away only to have another one fall from the top of her head. Jerkily she began pulling her pins out, flinging them about the room in no particular fashion. Lastly, her hand fell upon the jeweled pins Angelus had given her. Yanking them out she held them up in front of her.

The bright sapphires twinkled in the half-light, their merry beauty reminding her of the man-demon who might have ended up doing what should never be done. Have there ever been any other Slayers who became vampires? Was it even possible? Closing her fist tightly, Buffy gladly welcomed the piercing pain of the pins digging into her skin. Eventually the pressure broke through, causing the metal to cut her skin.

Opening up her hand Buffy saw the shallow cut bleed, several trails of crimson liquid snaking down to flow over her wrist. Before her shocked eyes she saw the wound begin to close, stanching the blood-flow. The cut quickly closed into a pink line which rapidly faded to nothing.

Her chest began heaving. She had never healed this fast.

She had NEVER healed this fast!

Wildly her eyes sought Angelus. He was leaning forward in the chair, his every sense seemingly trained upon her. Buffy recognized the avid gleam in his ebony eyes as the beginnings of blood-lust. "What?! Is this what you want?" she screamed at him. "Is it my blood you want? Again?! It wasn't enough the first time?! The second time?!"

Before he could answer she flung the pins at him. "Here! Lick it off like the GODDAMNED dog you are!" Turning around she fled up the stairs, her tears burning her vision and clogging her throat. Giles would know what to do. He would be able to help her. There had to be something they could do to stop her body's change!

But what if it were too late? What if she couldn't even make it to his house? Maybe the sunlight would kill her now. Running across the cold, silent griffin Buffy thought _If it's too late for me, then it's better that I die now. Better now, then before I start killing..._

Reaching the elevator she saw one tiny, black button. Pushing it, Buffy saw a silver panel slide back to reveal another keypad like the other one she had seen. "You can't get down. Not without the code."

Whipping her head around, she saw Angelus leaning against the doorway. He looked rather odd without the ever-present smirk. Instead he seemed very wary and confused. Definitely confused.

Not wanting to waste anymore time she demanded "The code-give it to me now!"

Imperceptibly he shook his head. "No. I want you here this weekend Buff. You're not leaving until I said-"

Before he could finish his statement Buffy stood in front of him, slightly weaving. Her hand viciously slapped him across the face, splitting his lower lip in the process. Between clenched teeth she said "The code. I want it now!"

"You little bitch!" he hissed in fury.

SLAP! Her other hand shot out and landed in a powerful backhand across his jaw. Angel's claddagh ring cleanly sliced Angelus' cheek. "GIVE...ME...THE CODE...NOW!"

"Not...gonna...happen...Slayer" he angrily spat. The blood from both wounds quickly stopped their flow and they too rapidly closed up before her eyes. Just like hers had. Her eyes were wide with horror as she backed away from Angelus. Buffy's disjointed thoughts were as frightening as the look on her fever-flushed face. _He's killed me...He's finally killed the Slayer...The prophesy was wrong...or...maybe it isn't...Maybe I'm supposed to die as a vampire..._

Buffy let out a scream of pure rage. Turning away from him she ran back towards the elevator. Drawing back her fist she punched the control panel in her fury. Like a demented being she howled and screamed with agonized fear.

She was turning! She knew it. Already her body felt foreign and completely unstable. It was as if every sense of hers was over-sensitized and on over-drive. Chills swept across her so fiercely that seemingly every muscle in her body hurt.

Dimly she heard Angelus order her to come with him. Buffy did not care about what HE wanted. All she knew was that she HAD to escape this marble prison. She had to either find Giles or she had to burn. There was no way that she could let herself join him. Even knowing what he was, what he represented, she had been strongly fascinated by him. All the havoc Angelus had caused her the past month had done nothing to curb her unnatural attraction.

All this while she was in full control of her humanity.

Buffy could not even fathom what would happen once she was like him. As a vampire she would be insatiable and completely devoted to Angelus. She knew that as surely as she knew her name.

She had to get out.

When the destroyed panel did not malfunction and open the elevator doors, as she had hoped, Buffy began to pry them apart. She would shimmy her way down the shaft and make it to the bottom floor. The doors easily slid open despite her weakened strength. A shift in the air alerted her to Angelus. Wildly she turned her head and pinned him with a look of pure hatred. "Stay away you piece of shit!"

"You're cursing now? Didn't think you had a gutter mouth Buff" he casually commented. His tone sounded unconcerned and faintly mocking, while his eyes reflected the complete opposite. Warily Angelus circled Buffy several yards away while watching her every movement. Something was happening to her, he just didn't know what. She didn't smell vampire, but she wasn't smelling quite human anymore either. Whatever was happening, he would not let her leave this place.

Not until he knew what it was and how this would affect him.

Buffy snarled at him before leaping into the shaft. Suddenly Angelus attacked. Before her feet could touch anything but air, Angelus' had hold of her arm. Pulling her back into his penthouse, he nearly had to pull the limb out of socket before he had her secure. Even then, it was an up-hill battle. Buffy was a veritable wild animal as she struggled to escape his iron grip.

Her movements quickly became so violent that she shoved Angelus off balance. Falling onto the floor, he was soon straddled by an enraged Slayer. Several times she slammed his head into the marble floor. One assault was so powerful that the floor cracked beneath her furious onslaught.

Groaning, Angelus felt the devil's own hammer pound inside his skull. He had to get her under control-fast. Before she either split his head like an over-ripe melon or he lost his patience and killed her. A move, at this point in time, that did not seem like such a bad idea. Bringing up his legs, he hooked them around her neck and pulled-neatly dislodging her off his chest.

However he was not fast enough to prevent Buffy from fleeing across the entryway and bolting the massive double-doors from the inside. Letting lose a stream of curses, he rushed the doors and began pulling on the iron handles. They remained firmly barred. Pounding against the heavy frame Angelus roared "Dammit woman! Open the damned door! What the Hell is wrong with you?!"

Empty silence greeted him. Lifting his fist, he was about to hammer on the doors again when he heard a muffled thud. And then another. And another. Regretfully looking at the centuries-old doors (he had taken a fancy to them when they had adorned the hall of certain contessa killed back in '42) Angelus lifted a foot and kicked them wide open.

Wood splintered and shattered in the air as he angrily strode into the room. His eyes quickly found Buffy holding a granite pedestal as a battering ram. She only looked at him once, before working even more furiously.

Intently she continuously charged at one of the specially-made windows. Hoarsely sobbing she realized that not even a scratch marred the opaque surface. If this didn't work she was well and truly trapped. She was so afraid. She couldn't hide nor could she stop her body from its' horrible change.

Buffy's arms ached with fatigue. She was dying. She knew it. Nothing else could explain what was happening to her. The pedestal was ripped out of her hands and flung into the window before harmlessly bouncing away. Numbly she looked at the intact window before looking up at an enraged Angelus. Gripping her weary arms he shook her once before biting out "Had enough yet? No? Here-let me help you."

Flinging her away he strode over to the window. Raking her with his heated black gaze he brought his bare foot back and kicked it. Nothing happened. Several times he attacked the window with his foot, his fist, even his shoulder but the glass remained firmly intact.

Coming back to her trembling form, his hand whipped out when she moved back. "Can you see that you're not going anywhere Buff? Has it gotten through your thick skull yet, hmm? Yes? Alright then-so just calm the fuck down!"

Trying to focus on his swirling face, Buffy felt as if she were going to lose consciousness at any moment. Angrily, if a bit weakly, she spat "You bastard-you've killed me."

Impatiently he snapped "C'mon Buff, you're not dead. Quit being so damned melodramatic."

"I hate you! Do you hear me?" Feebly she tried to shake his hold off, but it was useless. She had no choice but to stumble behind him as he dragged her back to the couch.

"I hear you and I really don't care. Hate away Buff, hate away." Angelus boredly replied.

"I hate you and I hope to God that when I do die, I stay dead. And if he isn't that merciful, I hope that I see the day when another Slayer kills you."

Releasing her arm he stepped back from her. "Let me tell you what would happen if one finally does: you would kill her for me." Seeing Buffy shake her head, he pressed in with "Oh yes you would. You would torture her before taking your time in sending her to Hell."

Not yet satisfied he breezily continued. "You would make a shitty vampire Buff. You're too damn independent to make a good one. Personally I like my women docile, obedient, and most off all-I like them quiet." Pointing a finger at her weaving figure he accused " _You_ talk to much. _And_ you're contrary. Even Almighty God wouldn't be that vindictive. He wouldn't saddle me with the likes of you for an eternity."

Buffy felt the strange urge to laugh and cry at the same time. She couldn't be completely sure if he was just being sarcastic or totally honest. On some vain and insane level, she was miffed with him for declaring unworthy of being a vampire. Like it was a fucking club that only the cool people were invited to join.

His laments seemed genuine enough. Screw him! Like she wanted to be like him. Her thoughts quickly shifted and she soon began cursing herself. What in the HELL was wrong with her? This wasn't some game nor was it a popularity contest that she had just lost. If so, losing should be the point.

Blearily looking at him she saw his mouth move, but no understandable words were coming out. What was he still blabbing about? He may like _his women_ quiet, but he could out-talk them all! She'd take Angel's cryptic-boy routine any day over this.

With effort she focused on his swirling mouth: all five of them. "Listen-IF you do turn, I'll run a stake through you myself. But you're not going to turn Buff, if so you'd be dead by now."

The fight went out of her. She wanted to believe that his words were true and that she was not transforming into a vampire. It would be the easiest thing in her world, at this point, to trust that if anyone knew-he did.

But her body was shouting a different story. The heat and the pain that racked her was ten times more weakening and painful than the worst case of pneumonia could ever be. Her strength was quickly ebbing away and it was taking everything she had just to stand.

It could only mean one thing.

After she had initially taken those first damning sips of blood, she had felt a supreme moment of incredible clarity and strength. It was only when she realized what was happening, did she feel sick. Until then, she felt strong and powerful. For a brief moment in time she had felt infinite.

Eternal.

Could it be that her humanity realized the foul mixture of blood was poisonous? Is this what happens to victims when they change? Can they feel their body destroying itself-eradicating everything that was once human?

Her voice breaking she said "I am dying Angelus. I can feel it. You're wrong..." Before she could finish her statement, Buffy's body collapsed on itself and she lost consciousness. Before her head hit the floor, it scraped against the corner of the lacquered coffee table.

Angelus heaved an unnecessary sigh as he walked over to Buffy's fallen body. All of this crap could have been avoided if she had just done what she was told. But no! She had to lose what little common sense she had and take it upon herself to leave. Even realizing that it was impossible, did she give up? Once again, no. She locked him out of his own drawing room and made him destroy an irreplaceable momento from his past.

He had just had the doors installed two days ago! It had taken him two weeks just to find the present owners of the abandoned Italian fortress and then another week to complete the transaction of purchase. Finally it had taken the workers four days just to remove them, which was a delicate process in itself. Afterall, the pair had hung there for centuries and it was a wonder that they were still intact at all.

Vaguely he remembered the delicate little contessa laying in her bed, blood spurting from her lips, chokingly asking him why. Why had he killed her, why had he lied about his love, why this, why that, why? As he made his way towards the fallen girl, the memory of the other slowly grew into focus.

 _The ebony hair lay rippled across the white satin pillow. The color was everywhere: on the sheets, the bedcurtains; the furnishings. This suite was an altar to a much-admired beautiful, young, virgin contessa. Even her nightgown was white. Only the nightgown no longer bespoke of purity and innocence. Instead it wept the crimson tears of sacrifice._

 _Idly twirling a silken curl, he had watched the pulse in her throat progressively grow weaker. She had welcomed him with such open arms tonight, regardless of that that her betrothed lay in another section of the fortress._

 _So much like all the others before her. And as they did, she too would be the price for an unconstant heart._

 _His courtship of her began in earnest as soon as he had walked through the cavernous hall below. Such a sweet and easy conquest was this spoiled contessa. All it had taken were a few flowery comments, a couple of turns around the portrait gallery (only after dusk-he suffered such terrible megrims in the day), and several burning looks. Voila! Now he was in her bed._

 _Anna-Theresa's voice was barely a reedy whisper yet he heard it as clearly as if she had spoken right into his ear. Her voice melodious, despite the approaching death, asked "Why did you lie? You said that you found love, here in my home..."_

 _Cruelly smiling he ferverently answered "But Anna, I DID find love her."_

 _Her eyes fluttered, wanting to close in eternal sleep, yet needing to feast upon the handsome contenance of the man she foolishly loved. "Then why..." she achingly asked._

 _Playfully hitting her up-turned nose with an ebony curl, Angelus admonished "Not you, silly child! Your doors!"_

 _Silver tears glided down the porcelain-pale cheeks of the soon-to-be expired contessa. The last words that passed her bloodied lips were "My doors?"_

 _Before ripping out her throat he answered with such rich admiration "I thought your hall doors were lovely and I wanted them. I must apologize for any misunderstandings that have occured, but you were just a pleasant diversion to pass the time in this dreadful country." His brow furrowed with mock concern. Playful horror colored his voice as he asked "You don't hold it against me, do you my dear?"_

Unfortunately a pair of late-night wandering guests had seen him come out of Anna-Theresa's suite, and it did not take long for him to be tried and convicted, in public opinion, as her murderer. Being a hunted man, or demon, made the city-states of Italy rather unsafe for him. It had taken 156 years to finally own the doors that he had so admired.

Now they half-hung off their frames, a destroyed shell compared to their former glory. All the conquest, the bloodshed, the tears, the _misery_ they had been witness to for over four-hundred years-gone. He could weep pure blood tears for this travesty!

And it was ALL Buffy's fault!

Damn Slayer. Why did he even bother? No lay was worth this much. It wasn't like she was even bringing him anything-not even a pair of doors. At least Anna-Theresa had the decency to die AND give him something for his time.

But not this one-all she brought was trouble. He HAD planned for this weekend to be one of demon debauchery and the fleeing of innocence-namely hers. Reaching her crumpled form, Angelus thought _No sex, no debauchery, no ravishment. Nada. Zilch. Zero. What Powers That Be did I piss off today?_

While he enjoyed this modern era, he had one major complaint about it. Women had entirely too much freedom. They actually believed themselves capable of being a man's equal. Snorting he thought, with complete conviction, _If I had been around, NONE of this would have happened._

Turn your back on the world and all Hell breaks loose. Thanks alot Angel.

Reaching her fallen body, Angelus resisted the urge to place a well-aimed kick to Buffy's stomach. Double-damned Slayer! Looking over his shoulder, he once again saw the splintered, half-hung former glory that had been his doors. Cursing he threw his restraint not out window, but out the massacered doors. Bringing back his bare foot, he kicked Buffy squarely in the mid-section and waited.

She never reacted, not in the form of a whimper nor did she even flinch. Disappointed Angelus gave up any other notions of physical punishment. There wasn't any point if she wouldn't moan in agony. Squatting down he lifted her limp body and carried it across the room. Walking through a doorway, he passed by several rooms before reaching the master suite. Pushing the door open with his shoulder, Angelus had no problem finding his way through the darkness to the enormous canopied bed.

Hefting Buffy over his shoulder, he reached out with one hand and pulled the heavy covers back. Tossing her still-unconscious form on the bed Angelus turned away before she landed on the mattress. Feeling a slight chill he strode over to the fireplace. His penthouse came equipped with all the modern ammenities to be found, plus some, including heat. However he was old-fashioned in some respects and, in his opinion, nothing could compare to a fire.

Thusly he had every major room fitted with a fireplace. Running his hand along the newly stained mantle, Angleus felt a thrill of pride at the simple yet intricate beauty of each detail. It was one of his flaws, he knew it yet accepted it: the need for beautfiul things. While being no where near as large as the one in the main room, it was still a sizeable structure of iron, brick and wood. A fire the size of a minature pyre could fit within its' depths and with the size of his room, it was needed.

Leaving off his moment of homeownership pride, Angelus squatted down and opened up the grate. Lifting several logs he placed them on the rack and began the task of building a fire. Feeding one log after another into the growing flames, his gaze became unfocused and he began thinking about his other home.

The one pleasantly referred to as Hell.

It's funny how humans have depicted it as being a place of fire and brimstone. Would they even want to know about it? If they only knew what it was really like- Could they bear to know the truth? Angelus imagined himself on a zealous compaign concerning the true beauty of Hell. Touring the world by night, preaching as ferverently as any Baptist preacher might about the utter perfection of Hell. Scornfully laughing he thought _Let the buggers find out for themselves._

Shaking himself from his reverie, Angelus placed one more log onto the blazing fire. Standing up he looked over at the bed, noting the sprawled form of his latest human lover. Buffy was still asleep, unconscious, comatose or whatever she was. Walking back to the bed he leaned over her body, watching for the slightest signs of movement. Other than the minute rise and fall of her chest, she was completely motionless.

Lifting her arm he watched it fall the bed limply. Scenting her blood Angelus remembered how Buffy's head hit the corner of the table. Brushing back the dried and matted hair he wondered if the wound was deep enough to require stitches. If so, he would make the necessary arrangements to have a physician brought here. He did not need Buffy scarred, especially over her own foolishness. He wanted her flesh to stay as perfect as possible-for as long as possible.

Frowning he wondered at just who would he call. He preferred not having a complete stranger here in his home, especially one who might be indiscreet. Remembering that City Hall was across the street, he thought of the Sunnydale's most respected civil leader. And a vampire's newest ally.

A bit flaky, but definitely very useful.

Because the Mayor was somewhat of a clean freak and germ phobe, he always had a doctor nearby. Angelus would just have him sent over. Although how the good doctor would get up here would be rather tricky considering she DID break his elevator...

Angelus' thoughts careened to a halt and his irritation with her fled as he inspected the now non-existent wound. Dabbing a finger with his tongue, he wiped the dried blood away. Her flesh was perfectly healed, not even a hint of pinkness to betray that there had even been a scrape. Frowning he pulled back.

She had never healed this fast.

Turning her body over to the side, he pulled up his coat to reveal her backside. All the bruises were gone. Her bottom was just as smooth and unmarked as it had been two hours before. Laying Buffy back down Angelus was truly perplexed. He hadn't lied when he told her that he didn't think she was turning into a vampire. He did not sense the mark of his species on her.

But now he was also positive that she was not quite the same Slayer-enhanced human she had been. So what was she?

Angelus replayed the earlier scenes in his mind. When she jumped into the elevator shaft, her figure had been just a blur. Buffy had never moved that fast. And when she had locked him out, she had moved with an inhuman speed. Not with Slayer speed, but with inhuman speed. His hands had been rather tied together by her childishness to pay much attention beyond the moment, but now...

She was obviously changing, but into what? He had never seen anything like it. Humans either died quickly and stayed dead OR they died quickly and rose within a couple of days. Either way, a vampire always knew which way it would go. If she was turning he would know it. But now he didn't know SHIT, and Angelus hated that.

The Slayer now had his speed but was lacking her normal strength. Every movement she had made seemed to take an extrodinary amount of will. Only anger seemed to have made an effect on her, as his head could eloquently testify to. Even so, it was nothing that compared to what she had been capable of-and might still be capable of. So even though her body was incredibly weak, it could be just a temporary affliction.

Or it could be permanent.

All because they had drank from each other?

Thinking back on the night's events Angelus suddenly realized that he too had been affected by Buffy's blood. Pulling away from the bed he stood straight, a thoughtful look heavy on his face. Looking across the room he watched the crackling flames hiss and spit as it devoured the dead wood. Without warning he sprinted there and back in the barest fraction of a second.

Craning his head back Angelus stared up at the domed ceiling. His keen eyesight focused on a tiny amber portion of the mural, mentally judging the distance to be about twenty-five to thirty feet. Coiling his muscles he tensed before springing up into the air.

Angelus' fingers tapped the smoothly painted surface before gracefully landing in a crouch. There was no doubt about it now: his strength, speed, and reflexes were better than before. Much, MUCH better than before.

Standing back up he could not believe how this change had gone unnoticed. He should have realized the difference this morning on his way here. At the time he had attributed it to a vampire's version of an adrenaline rush, but he should've known better.

Flexing his fingers Angelus could feel the power humming throughout him. It felt like the first time he had risen; the newly discovered strength and clarity sharpening all senses. Only this was better. Much, much better. Upon the discovery of the change, it was as if his every nerve was screaming in acknowledgement of the heady power-rush.

Could this be temporary? Angelus simply did not know. Agitated he had the urge to conquer the world, to subjugate and dominate the mere mortal man, to be infinite.

Alas, it was simply not to be. For now.

Unfortunately he had no choice but to stay indoors. Restlessly he prowled throughout the sumptuous top floor and tried out his new-found skills. After throwing one of his matched pairs of Chin-dynasty vases in the air, running throughout the entire penthouse, and catching it before the hapless piece of pottery hit the floor fifteen times-he was bored.

Super-powers just weren't any fun unless you had an audience: first to impress and then to cause bodily harm to same-said audience. Hmm...the elevator did need to be fixed. Picking up the phone he dialed the Mayor's office. It only rang once before a pleasantly-modulated voice answered "Hello, this is Ms. Williams. How may I help you?"

Charmingly he purred "Ms. Williams, how formal. Surely such an exquisite voice can be placed with an equally-exquisite first name."

At the other end there was a slight pause before a discreetly covered titter echoed in his ear. Rolling his eyes skywards (never heavenwards), Angelus wondered why he even bothered flattering the fairer sex. Perhaps old-habits were just hard to die. "My name is-I mean, you can call me Linda."

Angelus' mind darted and discarded face after face before settling on the image of a honey-blonde woman of 5'7" with a slightly rumpled lilac suit, conservative pearls and scuffed low-heeled pumps. Rather average of looks but with an incredibly graceful, long neck and beautifully shaped hands. He saw her briefly the night when he picked up the paperwork for the lovely penthouse that he now owned, courtesy of one Mayor of Sunnydale.

 _Sitting behind the wide, highly polished desk the short leader of Sunnyhell busily wiped his hands clean of any remnants of black ink. Reaching inside an drawer he pulled out a small bottle of orange anti-bacterial cleanser and squeezed out a healthy dollop. Looking across the desk he politely inquired "Would you care for some?"_

 _Scanning over another page of the lengthly document Angelus merely grunted "No."_

" _Come now, you really should try some." Rubbing his hands together, his mouth twisted in a moue of distaste as he stated "You would be amazed at how filthy common, ordinary paper can get. It gets passed from one person to another to another. God only knows how many people don't wash their hands!-and then it all ends up here."_

 _Barely looking up Angelus murmured "Really."_

 _Thinking he had an audience on the ills of uncleanliness, the Mayor leaned forward and rambled on and on about only Hades knew what before pushing the bottle towards Angelus again. "Even immortals need to take care of their skin. Try some."_

 _Unwillingly Angelus' mouth curved in a smile. Although he could be irritating, there was something about this unproposing guy that you couldn't help but like. Therein lay his true evilness. The bastard._

 _Reaching across he held out his hand, causing the pink-faced man to beam from ear to ear. Grimacing slightly at the cold ooze, he rubbed both hands together as instructed. Feeling an odd tingle, he arched a questioning brow before being reassured that "The tingle is the true magic of the product Angelus. It's destroying 99.9% of all the germs that have been in contact with your hands. Don't you just love it?"_

 _Dryly he replied "More than death itself."_

 _An odd gleam lighted the Mayor's pale eyes before he chuckled. "Vampire wit. I like that. It shows that you're a man who can appreciate a good laugh." Going back to the subject of gel he questioned "So you liked it, did you?" Enthusiastically he continued with "I've worked out a deal with the L.A. distributor that gives me a 20% discount on each crate. I've got well more than a year's supply just down the hall. Would you like some?"_

 _Not giving Angelus a chance to answer, he leaned to the side and pushed the intercom button. "Linda? Would you please bring a box of gel to my office?"_

" _Sir, I just put five containers in your desk this afternoon! Are you sure you need more?"_

 _A hint of impatience colored his voice as he repeated "Bring a box to my office now." Apologetically he looked up at Angelus and murmured "She means well but she hasn't yet learned blind obedience and worship."_

" _Would you like some help?" he drawled._

 _Laughing outloud the Mayor leaned back in his morrocan leather chair. Pointing a finger at the handsome immortal across from him, he chuckled "Oh I like you Angelus. It's pleasure to have you on our side, it really is."_

 _A quick rap of knuckles sounded on the door before being opened by a nervous-looking secretary. Her gaze shifted between her employer and Angelus for a brief moment before focusing to a spot on the floor. Holding up a small box she murmured "Here you go sir. Will that be all?"_

 _Coming from around the desk, the Mayor took the soap and said "Yes, that's all." As she turned to leave he stopped her and asked "Linda have you been smoking again?" Two bright spots of color stained the secretary's face as she stuttered "N-no, I mean y-yes, but just once."_

" _Huh-huh, just as I thought. What have I told you about that nasty habit? It's horrible for the complexion, the teeth, not even to mention the lungs. Now if you're going to be a member of this office, you MUST quit. I'm not joking at all Linda!"_

" _Yes sir. I'll quit starting now" she contritely promised._

 _Rolling his eyes Angelus wondered what the hell was the big deal. So what? Who cared? Feeling an imp to annoy the good Mayor, he amusedly pulled out a cigarette and deliberately lit it. The Mayor's nose began to work as furiously as a tiny rodent's. The smoke billowed around the room while Angelus unconcernedly took several drags. "Not you too Angelus?" he asked in a shocked voice. Linda backed out of the room, breathing a sigh of relief along the way. Now her employer had another target to expound on the evils of tobacco._

 _Before another word could be spoken, Angelus grew bored and decided to leave. Standing up the vampire took his copy of ownership and lifted the box of anti-bacterial soap out of the Mayor's limp hands. Slapping the smaller man on the shoulder Angelus jovially said "Thanks for the present. It will be enjoyed."_

"Linda, this is Mr. Gryphon. I need to speak with the Mayor. Is he in?"

Remembering the gorgeous man of several weeks before she gushed "Of course, I'll put right through." A few moments passed before Angelus heard a cheerful voice say "This is a surprise. What can I do for you?"

Pacing in front of the weapons display he answered "I've had somewhat of an accident. I need you to send someone to fix my elevator."

There was a moment of silence before a blandly phrased "An accident? Would that accident have something to do with the Slayer?"

Stopping in mid-stride Angelus silkily asked "What did you say?"

"The Slayer is there, is she not?"

"You seem to know, why bother asking?"

"Now, now Angelus," the Mayor soothed, "there's no need to take that tone with me. While I may not approve of pre-marital relations, I understand how important this is. I trust whatever method you choose to take. I was simply-"

"Simply what?" he growled.

Another pause. "Simply asking a simple yet ill-timed question. I apologize. You'll have a technician there within ten minutes. Oh by the way Angelus? I need this one, so send him back healthy okay?"

"Of course." Clicking the button he felt a wave of anger flow through him. No one questioned him and no one spied on him. Ever. Beyond that, he did not appreciate his intimate relations being food for thought. Flinging the phone against the wall he felt only a tiny amount of pleasure at seeing the split plastic and torn wires.

The Mayor wanted Buffy dead or disposed off, he didn't care which. He knew that only he, Angelus, had the ability to take her out of the game. That's why he courted and wooed him, finally gifting him with this home. Multi-million home and furnishings in return for doing what he planned on all along. At the time it seemed great but now it left him with the acrid taste of being a bought demon, subject to another's demands.

And to top it all off he was interfering with his afternoon's enjoyment.

Double-damned Slayer!

Soon he heard activity on the bottom floor. The elevator's hum announced the arrival of his canceled entertainment. Irritably Angelus strode up the stairs, through the splintered doors, and waited while the technician opened the doors. If the man was at all curious about the negligently dressed man or the half-hung doors or the busted metal panel, he never showed it. Efficiently he replaced the damaged control panel. Within five minutes the man was in and out of the building and Angelus now had a working elevator once again.

Impressed he walked back towards the bedroom. "No wonder he wanted to keep him. The guy IS good." What was there for him to do now except sleep? His boredom only caused him to break things and he had just moved into the place. Besides he wouldn't be sleeping alone, even though it would be the double-damned Slayer next to him.

In that case, maybe she should sleep on the floor.

Quickly shedding his clothes, Angelus climbed into the soft bed. Pulling back two cords, the heavy textured bedcurtains surrounded them in complete darkness. Another one of his old-fashioned foibles: bedcurtains. He simply couldn't imagine sleeping in a bed without them.

Lifting Buffy he slipped his coat off and hauled her up against his body. Pulling the covers over them both, Angelus settled his head on the pillow and forced himself to relax. His mind, however, sped through thoughts and theories as he thought about the last several hours.

Human blood was the purest essence to a vampire. While his kind could survive on basically any kind of blood, it is the humans that lend the best sustenance. It is human blood that can revive even the weakest vampire, if not to full strength, then enough to be more than just a walking corpse. If ordinary human blood held such wondrous properties, then wouldn't it stand to reason that Slayer blood would be infinitely more powerful?

Angelus' body could attest to it. Looking down at the blond head nestled against his chest he wondered what would happen to her. Would she die? Looking up at the curtained ceiling he wondered why it even bothered him. It shouldn't, but it did. It had to be because she was his first Slayer/paramour. That was all. Besides, he didn't want her to die until HE was ready.

Feeling a surge of energy flow between them Angelus knew a sharp moment of completeness. It was the oddest thing, but that in itself did not make it untrue. They were now bound somehow. _The Slayer is a part of me...and I am a part of her._ They were connected as surely as a sire and child. Even more so.

Closing his eyes Angelus allowed his body to rest and drift to sleep. He no longer thought about the oddity of a Slayer and Master Vampire sharing a bed in complete peace. It also no longer occurred to him for Buffy to sleep anywhere other than in his bed.


	17. Chapter 17

Buffy's eyes flew open. Her first thought was _Am I already dead?_ It didn't feel like death, but then again she didn't remember the first time. Maybe this was the other side. Blinking slowly she thought _It's pretty dark for Heaven...oh shit! I mean, bad Buffy! No cursing allowed! Sorry God, you are there, aren't you? This HAS to be Heaven right?_

Looking up all her eyes could see was unrelenting darkness. _I can't see anything, it's so dark. God? I think you have a problem with your lighting system here. It's the other place that's really dark and flamey..._

Shifting her line of vision she saw a tiny flicker. It looked like fire. Gasping she thought _Hell? This is where you send me to? After all I've done for mankind this is what I get for an eternity?_ Buffy alternately felt her throat work for a scream while her eyes bulged with fear. _I'm not leaving this spot...no way...they're just gonna have to drag me out of here!_

But before she could work herself into further hysteria, Angelus shifted in his sleep. The soft, cushiony feel of a thick comforter rubbed against her bare thigh, making her realize that she was laying in a bed. They didn't have beds in Hell, did they? Hesitatingly she lifted a hand and touched the downy material beneath her head. Soft yet firm, cool to the touch, yep-it was a pillow. Cautiously she stretched one leg at a time, before stretching both arms above her head. No demons grabbing at her ankles or arms, this was good.

Slowly blinking her eyes she realized that the unrelenting blackness around her had faded into the soft ebony of thick bedcurtains. Peering through the adjusting dimness she realized that the tiny flicker of Hell was in actuality the flicker of an earth-bound fire. Buffy was torn away from the fear of eternal damnation by rapid degrees as she took in her unfamiliar surroundings.

Looking down she realized that she was sharing a bed with Angelus. His arm was flung above his head and one leg was bent, causing the bedsheets to drape across his hips. It was too dark to see much of his face but it looked like it was turned away from her. Rubbing her arms she noticed that the coat had been taken off, leaving her naked.

They had shared a bed.

Oddly enough, something about sharing sleep together seemed far more intimate than what they had done all last night. She could still feel the cold, hard lines of his body against her own warm body. Warm body. Her hands stopped in mid-motion. _I have a WARM body._ One smothered giggle followed another as she thought _I have a warm body! I have a warm body!_

A full-blown laugh erupted from her lips before she quickly covered her mouth and looked aside at Angelus. Nothing. He slept as peacefully as the dead. Laughing out loud again, she happily knew without a doubt that she was not one of them-the dead. _I'm not dead!_ Putting two fingers up to her neck she felt her life's blood beat as strongly as ever. _I have a pulse!_ Sitting up Buffy could feel no lingering weakness dragging her down. In fact she had never felt more vital and alive.

She was so happy she could dance.

Crawling out of the enormous bed Buffy did just that. Happily she skipped about the room, dancing to the music in her head. The music of her heart. The music of her soul. Twirling around and around, her hair flew behind her like a golden banner. Pirouetting on the tips of her toes Buffy lifted her arms above her head and spun like the ballerina she never was.

The marble felt cool underneath her bare toes and Buffy welcomed it. She was alive! Merrily she giggled and spun about until she grew giddy. She felt no shame in her nudity nor did she think about Angelus waking up and seeing her.

She was utterly without modesty.

The heat of the sluggish fire warmed her bare skin when she danced close to it. Giggling she turned her backside towards the fireplace, allowing herself to be heated before skipping away. She wanted to be warm forever. Twirling around and around the room flew by in a blur, but dizziness could never touch her.

Buffy's euphoria was boundless.

Stopping in front of a painting Buffy cocked her head to the side. It was a riotous display of reds and charcoals. Devils and Angels fought each other in the sky; the visages of both sides terrifying to behold. It dominated one wall, the softly lit lights illuminating the battlefield of the supernatural. Shrugging Buffy thought it was one of the ugliest paintings she had ever seen. Humming a long-forgotten tune, she smiled impishly at one particular scowling demon, or was it an angel?

 _Oh, who cares? They're all mean and ugly anyways!_

Dancing away she giggled at the thought of Angelus getting ripped off on that horrendous buy. She hoped that whoever painted it stuck it him to good. Although how anyone could paint that thing and call it art was beyond her.

Splaying her arms before her, she spied the forgotten bandages. Precisely she ripped each one off, wincing just a bit when the adhesive tore away some baby-fine hair. Hopping on one foot she bent over and peeled off one thick bandage, before flinging it across the room. Immediately she did the same with the other. Buffy let out a happy tinkling laugh when one bandage landed right into the fireplace.

Bringing her arms in front of her again, she resumed her dance. Around the room her feet led her, dipping and swaying in time to the music of her imagination. She was quickly becoming breathless from her giddiness at being alive. She was ALIVE.

The future was inconsequential compared to this moment. Acrymydion and all the shape-shifters of the netherworld could not take away even one bit of joy from her. She had this moment, here right now, which was alot more than she thought she'd ever have again. What else did she need?

Buffy's lips were parted in spectacular smile when she caught sight of Angelus watching her. Her feet stumbled to a halt while her slender arms were held out in front of her, unconsciously beckoning to be held. She did not hear him awaken nor did she hear him pull back the bedcurtains.

He looked so incredibly beautiful, it was almost painful to look at him. His dark hair was tousled from sleep, yet even so, he looked as gorgeous as when every strand was in place. Unashamedly Buffy ran her eyes over him, noting every detail with a sharpened sense of awareness. Negligently Angelus lounged against the numerous pillows, looking for all the world as a man content with his lot in life.

 _Beautiful. He is so beautiful._ she thought, finally dropping her arms to the side. _I could look at him forever. Angel or Angelus...he will always be apart of me..._

Immediately she felt a surge of emotion tighten her gut. An indescribable hunger assaulted Buffy; she NEEDED to be with Angelus. Letting out a soft cry she ran to the bed and threw herself upon him. Her fingers tangled themselves in his hair as her mouth greedily devoured him. He responded in kind, as if he understood and felt the same emotions she did. His fingers dug deeply into the soft flesh of her hips and Buffy loved it.

She felt a desire that bordered on madness.

She needed to be his and she needed for him to be hers.

Moving down his body she licked and nuzzled Angelus' chest, softly purring from the pleasure of feeling him beneath her lips. Several times she bit the muscled flesh of his stomach before dipping her tongue into his navel. Her eyes had a definite feline tilt when she happened to glance up, meeting his own bestial gaze.

When she saw his lips part to speak, she quickly rushed up and covered his mouth with her own. Now was not the time to talk. Now was the time to let her body speak for her. Staring deeply into his eyes, Buffy delicately shuddered from the heat of his unspoken words. She wanted him so badly, it was as if her body no longer had control.

She needed him.

Giving into the urge she bit down on his bottom lip, reveling in the soft groan that he emitted. Repeatedly she nipped the same spot over and over until his hands crept up and squeezed her breasts tightly. Buffy gave a breathy moan from the intense pleasure at this small amount of pain. "Please..."

"Please what?" Angelus growled against her mouth.

"Please...do it...again."

Male triumph flared brightly in his eyes before being banked by a lazy look of passion. His fingers idly traced her tight, little nipples while taking deep sips from her mouth. "Do what?" he maddenly asked. Moving his hand down he squeezed her hip. "This?" His other hand gripped her smooth thigh while asking "Or this?"

Buffy's eyes fluttered shut and her body arched into his. His every touch stirred an ache that started in her heart and ended in her blood. Without thought she replied "Everything...I want everything."

"Everything, hmm?" Placing a hand on her nape, Angelus pulled her head towards him. "All in good time lover, all in good time." Opening her mouth with his own he plunged deeply with his tongue, kissing her while she writhed on his lap.

She could feel his erection through the luxurious cotton, nudging her bottom insistently. Impatiently she rocked against Angelus, hoping that he would leave off the foreplay and give her what she most needed.

"Tell me what you want Buff...tell me..." his hoarse whisper delicately played upon her body.

"I want you...I want you..." She felt him shift the bedcovers until their bare skin touched.

"Who?" he heatedly demanded.

For a moment Buffy paused, remembering the man she loved. Her Angel, her first and only true love. _Angel please forgive me but I can't...stop myself. I need whatever piece of you I can get. Please try to understand..._ Pressing her lips against his she savored the taste of him. "Angelus..." she softly replied against his mouth, gripping his cold, strong shoulders tightly.

Immediately Buffy felt the head of his penis nudge her warm, willing flesh. Inch by delicious inch he slid into her while the Slayer gave a low whimper. "Oh yes" she sighed in exquisite pleasure when Angelus gripped her hips and raised her body up and down on his staff. Each time she was lifted up, he gave a quick nip on each of her nipples.

No longer content with the pace Angelus set, Buffy began to rock faster and harder against him. She dug her fingers into the pillows on each side of him, twisting the fabric as she ground herself against him. For several long moments, the only sounds to be heard were her breathy pants and his low moans.

Buffy soon found herself being lifted up and roughly tossed on her back. Angelus loomed over her, dipping his head down to grind his lips against hers. Buffy's bottom lip split under his voracious caress, causing her to cry out against his mouth.

Greedily he lapped the precious fluid. "You taste so good Buff-all of you." Angelus hoarsely whispered. The vampire did not take his time traveling down her body but instead boldly plundered the sweet spot between her trembling thighs. Arching wildly beneath his mouth, Buffy softly cried out in the darkness. She felt his hand reach up and tightly grab her breast.

Hazily glancing down Buffy's cheeks slightly pinked even as her hips arched up. Her legs were wantonly spread while Angelus' dark head furiously moved in a circular motion. Closing her eyes again she felt as if she could absolutely die of pleasure. Her stomach clenched and her legs tightened as the beginnings of an explosive orgasm tore through her body.

Her soft cries filled the air as she shamelessly rocked against her lover's face. As the last tremors left Buffy feeling deliciously weak, she felt him slide up against her body. His erection pressed into her inner thigh as he brought his lips to hers. She could taste the musky flavor of herself on his lips and it made her incredibly aroused. Bringing up her hands, she laid them on either side of his face, lifting her head off the bed to kiss Angelus even more deeply.

Rolling over until Buffy was sprawled on top, he continued to voraciously devour her. Finally pulling back he crudely commanded in a cold voice "Suck it Buff."

Trembling she stared into his eyes for a few moments before moving down his body. Crawling between his thighs Buffy delicately licked the length of him before enveloping half of him in her tiny mouth. Sucking him softly she laid her hands on the hard flat of his stomach. When she heard him impatiently growl, Buffy instinctively knew to suck harder and deeper.

For several long minutes the room was in complete silence except for the wet sounds of her mouth. Each time that she happened to catch a glance of Angelus she saw the same picture: hard, narrowed eyes and a tight, drawn face. Intuitively she knew that he was again holding back from her, so she would redouble her efforts in the attempt of making him give something. A sigh, a moan, a growl, anything!

Instead he lay there silently while Buffy worked herself in a frenzy. Digging her nails into his cool skin, she attempted to take him deeper only to cause herself to gag. Pulling back she looked up at him and pleadingly asked "What can I do? Please, what can I do?" Distantly a part of her hated hearing the needy note of her voice, the unashamed begging, but Buffy felt a stronger and darker need pushing her.

A need completely foreign yet all the more compelling.

Angelus mockingly smirked at her, looking for all the world like a man suffering extreme boredom. Buffy flinched from the cruelly amused gleam in his eyes, her cheeks stained a deep rosy hue. She did not understand how he could be so passionate, so giving, then-so remote, so inhumanely cold.

A curtain of blonde hair fell around her face as she held her head down. Tears swam fiercely, distorting her vision until she blinked them away. She would not let him see her cry. A dry laugh made her hackles rise as Buffy heard him say "Aww babe, are those tears I hear? It would just break my heart to make you cry Buff, truly it would."

Lifting her head up Buffy just wordlessly stared at him, hoping that the dislike was clearly written on her face. He arched a negligent brow, crossed his arms behind his head, and began whistling a wordless tune. His aura was one of complete dismissal, namely hers. Straightening her shoulders she regally slid off the bed. Head held high Buffy marched across the room, hating the low laughter emanating from the shadowed corners.

For a moment she was uncertain on where to go. She learned the hard way that she couldn't leave here-yet, but until then? Seeing a partially opened doorway, Buffy boldly walked through it (hoping it wasn't a closet) and closed the door behind her. The room was pitch-black but she had no problem seeing the switch on the wall. Flipping it on Buffy could see the extent of the room she was in.

It was a small chamber done in burgandy and creme. The furnishings were simple: a low divan and an armchair set against a wall. Frowning Buffy wondered what was the purpose of it. Seeing a panel she inwardly groaned. Not another one of those damn keypads! Walking over to it she nevertheless pushed the button, impatiently waiting for the panel to slide back and silently demand a code.

Instead a door slid open the streaming rays of light beckoning her forward. Stepping through Bufy wondered what lay beyond. Once in she let out a sigh of wonder. It was a mausoleum of a bathroom or more likely, a bathing room. Until now Buffy never knew the difference.

Coming further into the room she looked around in awe. The sound of water was everywhere and already so soothing to her spirit. Looking to her left she heard gurgling from the small fountains in the wall, the basins painted a deep turquoise blue. Dipping her fingers in the cool water Buffy sighed with pleasure.

Looking up she saw that the majority of the ceiling was covered with skylights. Buffy assumed that it was the same glass as in the living area. It let in the soft harmless light of the sun, perfectly illuminating this place of water and tile. Intricate mosaics depicted the treasures of the sea on the floor while the walls were tiled in a soft blue.

Across the room a large, raised rectangular tub? pool? subtlely invited her to splash in its' depths. Further behind that in the corner, the biggest shower Buffy had ever seen sparkled with gleaming glass and highly polished brass. Off to the side she saw an enormous painted armoire; it had to have stood at least eight feet tall. Near the fountains a double-vanity held neatly contained bath supplies.

It was so wondrously beautiful here and unlike anything she had ever seen of Angelus. She had never even really thought of his bathroom, but if she had, she would have imagined black marble with impersonal silver accents. Not this virtual Eden where there was so much to see and so much to enjoy.

A small circular pool partway encircled by lush green foliage caught Buffy's attention. Coming to the edge of it she saw large, bespeckled goldfish swimming in the depths. Kneeling down on the cool tiled floor Buffy trailed her hand in the water. Several fish eagerly came by to nudge her hand. The foreigness of the cold scales sliding beneath her fingertips felt strangely pleasant.

Sighing Buffy looked up at the large tiled mirror across from her. She was half-way surprised at seeing it's presence here but then again, she really wasn't. As she was learning, Angelus was a demon of many parts, some surprisingly human.

And others completely fitting to the demon within she thought as she again remembered his cruelness.

The reflected image almost looked like a stranger, but no-that was her blond hair, her chin, her swollen mouth. Even to her non-prejudiced eye she had to admit that she positively glowed with a new loveliness. Despite the lack of sleep, the journey to the edges of death, and several intimate encounters she looked almost etheral.

Instead of feeling vainly pleased, Buffy felt uneasy. She never looked this good without makeup. Hell-she never looked this good WITH makeup! Mirthlessly laughing Buffy wondered what else would come of this liaison with Angelus.

Angelus.

Away from him, the previous insistent urging faded, leaving her feeling lonely and bereft. After his coldness how could she feel this way? Shrugging the disturbing feelings aside with great effort, Buffy recalled the earlier madness of the morning. Something happened to her, but what? There was no doubt in her mind that her body had been changing, but she had thought it was because she was dying.

Staring unseeingly ahead Buffy thought of her present circumstances. She was alive, playing with the fish, and in no feeling anything near death. So what had happened?

Beyond that, how would she handle this situation with Angelus and the rest of her short life? Could she successfully keep the two seperate? It would be folly to think that somehow the two could converge. She could just imagine it:

 _Willow, Xander? You remember Angel, well he now prefers to be called Angelus, but anyways! I'm now sleeping with him. No, don't worry. I'm only doing it because he threatened to burn all of you to death. I'll be fine, really. It's not like it's a chore, actually it feels pretty good. Can I trust him? Well, actually no. I still don't think that he'll keep his word-what was that? Then why did I fuck him? Umm, well because I KNOW that if I didn't, you would all be pretty well-done..._

The fish continued to swim by her hand, insistently nudging it with their slippery forms. Suddenly she felt a hand run through her hair, even though the image before her only reflected herself. Whipping her head to the side Buffy saw Angelus standing, fathomlessly looking down at her.

Her eyes were narrowed in distrust as he knelt beside her, even as she felt pleasure at seeing him again. In his hand, Angelus held a glass container which he proceeded to open. Tossing a handful of multi-colored flakes into the pool, he then closed the small jar and set it down on the floor. Buffy looked away from his chiseled profile and watched the fish dart to the surface, happily gulping down the food. "They were hungry" was all he said as he stood up.

Holding out a hand to her, he silently waited for her to grasp it. How could he just come in here as if nothing had happened? Searching his face, Buffy could see none of the derision and hate. Instead Angelus appeared to be remote and distantly polite. Unstable. There could be no better description for his behavior other than that eight-letter word.

 _He is so unstable and yet here I am-naked at his feet._

Several moments passed before she grudgingly placed her slim hand in his much larger one. Fluidly she stood up while thinking _What does he want now?_ Even as her mind cynically awaited his actions, Buffy could feel a fist close over her heart.

 _My God, it's already so painful being with him, but it feels even MORE painful being without him. I know that he's not Angel, I know I can't trust him, I KNOW nothing good can come of this-I know it all and so much more! So then why am I happy that he came in here? Why am I hoping that he came here because he feels bad? Why do I pray that he's sorry?_

Buffy desperately hoped that none of her feelings showed nor the steadily growing desire that caused her every muscle to tighten. Risking a glance up, she observed the quickly masked calculating gleam in his ebony eyes. _Well put a scratch through Angelus feeling bad_ she stonily thought.

Avoiding his seeking gaze, she feigned interest in the grouping of plants near her ankle. After another moment, she felt him give her hand a tight squeeze. Still not saying another word, Angelus gently tugged Buffy away from the tropical ferns and drew her further into the room. She expected him to lead her to the tub but he just walked past it. Unbidden Buffy had a brief vision of the two of them in the miniature pool.

 _Open-mouthed kisses...sharp nips...slippery bodies...deep thrusts...rough caresses...warm water..._

Coming back to herself, Buffy felt the fist move from her heart to _other_ parts. Her breath came out as a few jagged gasps before she forced control upon herself. _Think other thoughts Buffy. Think about...homework...YES!-homework! Think about tests and, umm, oh English Lit! Whatever you do, DO NOT think about that pool of sin!_

Perversely Buffy looked over her shoulder at the pool of sin and was again assaulted with wicked images. Softly groaning she chanted to herself _PBS...Nature Shows...anything on CBS...think Buffy think! Watching paint dry...a study on fossils..._

Her control barely hung on by a thread as she helplessly noticed countless things at once: the way he smelled, the feel of his cool hand in her warm one, the tiny hairs on the nape of his neck, the way the tattoo on his shoulder moved with each step. Her tongue begged to taste the smooth flesh of his back, while her hands tingled from the urge to roam his entire body.

Thankfully, Angelus finally stopped her before the shower, opened the door and silently ushered her inside. Turning around she saw that he closed the door and promptly walked away. Looking through the clear glass, Buffy saw him make his way towards the vanity. Staring at the lines of his nude body, she felt the heatedness of her blood call to him. Clenching her eyes shut, she felt her stomach tighten almost painfully as the torturous need finally overtook her.

This went far beyond simple desire. It had to be. Angelus had stoked her innocent passion countless times the night before, yet nothing she felt last night could even come CLOSE to this silent agony. Buffy ached with a wordless pain in her heart, in her blood.

Always it seemed to end right with her blood.

It beat with every pulse, every thud of her heart, every contraction of her veins. Buffy soundlessly moaned with the hunger of it. The need was so great, so endless, so devastating. Her insides clenched with the incessant drumming of his name.

A primeval shout from her blood demanded that Buffy cleave herself to Angelus. To become one with him, to turn herself inside out for him, to become anything for his pleasure.

As she saw him come closer to her, she was torn between the insane desire to barricade herself in and to beg for his carnal mercy. To beg for his touch, to beg for his possession, to beg for his honor.

Beg from the creature who knew no such thing.

Wordlessly she stepped back and turned away when he opened the door. Wrapping her arms around her waist, Buffy took deep breaths that shook her slender frame. She could feel his every movement even though he had yet to even brush past her. Tensely she waited while she fought to control the tremors that pulsed throughout.

At any instance Buffy expected Angelus to taunt her with her obvious arousal. She felt a moment of wrenching shame. He could purposely wound her and still she could want him? Shuddering she tried to free herself, free herself from the unearthly calling of blood.

Biting her lip until it bled again, Buffy swallowed thickly. The more she tried to deny her urges, the stronger they became. As one her heart, her body, her BLOOD railed against her, promising an even greater vengeance than one Angelus could devise. Flinging her hair out of her face, Buffy realized that the longer she denied herself, the less likely she could control herself.

Helplessly she was drawn to watch this unnatural perfection of man. Out of the corner of her eye, Buffy could see him walk to each shower head and flick a switch. Instantly a powerful gush of water poured out of each. By the time Angelus was done, she was being pelted from four different directions. Gasping from the heat of the water Buffy finally raised her face and saw him leaning against a wall. In a trance she watched the water flow over the hard lines of his flawless body.

Her blood gathered and hummed throughout, rushing to all, hysterically bubbling and frothing with the beat of his name. Looking at his face, she could see him watching her with hooded eyes. _My God he is so beautiful. So achingly beautiful..._

Oblivious to everything but this moment-she watched him watch her.

Buffy's fingers itched to comb through the soaked hair surrounding his penis. Inwardly groaning Buffy remembered how he felt in her mouth. So hard, so smooth, so very cold. Traveling up his body she could see it losing its' customary paleness, instead taking on a slight pinkish hue. He almost looked alive. Looking up into his face, Buffy felt a jolt go through her. The painful need twisted her body and left her shaken.

The change.

 _When a vampire brings a victim across, there is an eternal link between the two. The duty of sire and child are constant and ever-present. The sire will always hold authority and the child will always submit._

 _But why Giles?_

 _Buffy IT is something that is so primal, so ancient, that IT is not beholden to free will or desire. IT simply is._

The Watcher's long-ago spoken words rang in her mind. The change. This morning's events showcased an entirely different meaning now. Her body had been changing, fighting itself, fighting the disease that was vampirism. It succeeded.

Partially.

She may not be a vampire, but because of the exchange of blood, Buffy realized with horror that Angelus held that eternal bond with her. Or rather, if her Watcher's words were true, she held an inherently submissive role in regards to Angelus.

If only she hadn't drank from him...If only she hadn't come here...If only she hadn't slept with him...If only her friends hadn't lied to her...

What was that saying? _If IFS and BUTS were candies and nuts, Christmas would be here a whole lot sooner_. Well Merry Christmas Buffy, Santa brought a special gift for you: lifetime commitment without the courtship. Before her eyes she could see Angelus' erection grow in size while his speculative gaze turned hard with desire.

Swallowing thickly she felt her body burn with discovery. The blood inside her clamored for release, begged to nourish the demon and receive satisfaction. She could actually feel her healed puncture wounds pulse with acknowledgment.

Buffy's throat worked as she felt a rise of nausea assail her. How could she be so weak? Supernatural circumstances aside, she was supposed to be stronger than this! There was no way that she could continue like this: torn between her humanity and her unnatural passion.

 _But look at him Buffy. LOOK at him. He wants you so very much and he always has. And you know it because you feel the same. Here he is with YOU. What's done is done. Where's the harm in giving in?_

Is this what fledglings feel for their sires? No wonder they were so weak, so easy to stake. If they felt any degree of helplessness like this, they couldn't leave the side of whatever bastard made them.

For the first time, Buffy actually felt pity and compassion for the things that she destroyed each night.

Along with her compassion she began to feel helpless rage against the handsome monster named Angelus. Curling her hands into fists, she wanted to pound his face into a pulp. It was impossible! She could not feel this THING for a vampire! She could not permanently feel so desperate, so needy for the creature before her!

Her body, sensing the mutiny of her thoughts, fought against her, washing her with raging desire. Gasping for the force of it, Buffy valiantly fought against IT. IT be damned! She was not going to be controlled like this! Giving an inarticulate cry of rage Buffy rushed Angelus. Hitting him wherever she could reach, she yelled "Bastard! You had no right to do this to me! No right at all! I hate you, do you hear me?! I hate you!"

Snarling Angelus attempted to block her blows-and failed. Their fight became a blur of shadows as she unfailingly connected with his artificially warm flesh, while Angelus unsuccessfully dodged her fury.

 _I may be weaker but then so are you. You can't stop me vamp_ she thought, never realizing the speed and accuracy with which she moved.

After one particularly sharp blow to his cheekbone, Angelus lost his patience and let the demon loose. Morphing he all too easily captured her wrists and slammed her body into the wall, leaving her feet dangling in mid-air. Disconnected Buffy thought _I guess he can._

"You hate me? What do I care? You think this is a relationship Slayer? Let me clue you in: it's NOT. I will not tolerate your spoiled, bad behavior nor will I tolerate you hitting me when you feel like it. Either behave or get out of my sight, but you WILL not act like this again. Do you understand?"

Despite his furious words and her own enraged emotions, Buffy could feel her body call to him. "Whatever."

He gave her a slight shake he roared "Don't give me your _whatever_! Do you understand me?!"

Ignoring the iron grip he had on her arms and the furiously spoken demands, she yelled "You should have left me alone! I would've been fine. But NO! You had to-"

"To what?! Let you die?" Letting out a short chuckle he pressed in with "Then where's the fun, Buff?"

"I wasn't going to die!"

Mirthlessly laughing Angelus said "I've given the gift of death too often to NOT know what it smells like. You were hanging on by a thread little girl. I saved your worthless life Buff, but you can't thank me can you? I mean the least you could've done is given me a blow-job-"

With a distinct bite to her tone Buffy boldly interrupted with "I WAS until you acted like an asshole."

"Is that what you called it? It sure as hell didn't feel like it babe. Haven't you ever learned how a man likes to be sucked?"

"I've never done it before. You were my first" she rigidly informed him.

"Really?" Giving a long-suffering sigh Angelus asked "Is there nothing you know? With a mouth like yours I would've thought that you would've learned how to suck a man dry, not just scrape him with your teeth."

Her feelings were so effortlessly trampled on by him. Buffy could feel the cursed tears sting her eyes. Seeing his gloating expression filled her with such a fury. Angrily she spat "Let me go now Angelus."

He observed her flushed cheeks and shiny eyes with such unabashed pleasure. He simply denied her with "No."

"You have no right-"

Growling against her ear he stated "I have every right to do what I please with you, Slayer. Like I said before: what was Angel's is mine and what is mine STAYS mine. You belonged to me every since the day you were born. You just never knew it."

Heaving against him, Buffy lashed out with her foot. "I belong to no one! NO ONE!"

Not even bothering to argue, Angelus reverted back to his human visage. With his blunt teeth, he latched onto the wet skin of his previous mark. Biting her neck until she moaned aloud, Angelus pulled back and looked into her tumultuous gaze. Rage, pain, and desire battled in the clear, changeable depths.

"You already feel it, don't you?" Nodding in a self-satisfied way he continued "Don't bother lying to me Buff-I can FEEL your emotions."

Shaking her head she shakily cried "N-no!" Then in a stronger voice Buffy vehemently denied him with a resounding "NO!"

Spitefully he continued. "If it's any consolation to you: I hate it too. Now you'll always be dodging my heels, begging me to fuck you-I'll never get ANY rest. Truly Buff, how embarrassing do you think it will be for me when you tug at my sleeve and weep because I leave you?"

A red haze of fury clouded Buffy's mind as she broke out of his grasp. Immediately she powerfully back-handed him. His head barely moved from the blow. Surprise marred her features. He should've been on his knees with that one. The water continued to pour over both of them while they were locked in silent battle of wills. Suddenly Angelus returned the favor. Buffy's body flew back against the shower wall.

Before she could react, he had her pinned against the warm tiles. One leg was hooked upon each forearm, leaving Buffy completely stretched open. Simultaneously he brought her down on his cock while biting down on her neck. Brokenly she cried aloud from the immense pain and...

...the sinful, hateful pleasure.

Her conscience fought against this. She had to fight against this. Angelus' intents were those of rape and domination. The rape of her soul and the domination of her spirit. Yet knowing this, KNOWING this, her traitorous body wept with joy. The hands that had been curled into fists quickly relaxed and became little claws that dug into his shoulders. Hoarsely she moaned as he sawed in and out of her body.

A roar of blood beat fiercely within her ears. The girl known as the Slayer lost. The hidden part of every woman known as Eve won. She won her mate, she won the destiny that kept her with this godless vampire.

Clutching him against her, the woman/child silently thanked IT, without realizing she was doing so. Feeling the warm skin beneath her fingers she wished for the coldness to return.

IT was primal.

IT held her tightly.

IT gave her to Angelus.

Her protests now seemed a distant and foreign thing. Her body had what she most wanted, regardless of what her mind told her. This is where she belonged, with him. Her lover, her life, her very death. No matter what the girl known as Buffy the Vampire Slayer felt or thought.

The serpent in the garden surely rejoiced at the blasphemy being committed in the steam-filled shower.

She shrieked aloud when Angelus loosened his bite and hotly ran his tongue along the rim of her ear. IT felt so gloriously good. He seemed to know what she wanted before she ever did. Her body was attuned to his that it felt like immoral perfection. Mindlessly she chanted his name even as Angelus repeatedly slammed her down upon him.

No longer content with being passive, she began rocking her hips, as much as she could, against him. Angelus recognized her silent submission and loosened his tight grip on her legs. His hands moved to cup her bottom while she wrapped her strong legs around his waist.

Searching for his mouth she gave a moan of pleasure when his lips met hers. Greedily she sucked on his lips and tongue while arching against his body. Buffy began to easily move against him, mewling from the flood of pleasure it gave her. Her every sense was heightened to a degree that bordered on over-stimulation.

Flashes of memory and images sped through her mind while the serpent pumped its' addictive venom throughout this savage paradise.

 _Angel. Angelus. The passing of her virginity. The storm. Willow being held by Angelus and the pain it caused in her heart. The Judge. Silence. The blonde in the cemetery. Angel. His fingers. Release. Angelus. Lies. Death. Life. Leather pants. Violets. Strawberries. Jewelry. Jeff. Blood, so much blood. Angelus. Angel. Candlelight and roses. Acrymydion. Hospital. Balloons. Fighting. Angelus. Holy water and crosses. Hate. Silence. Spells. Storm. Angelus. Betrayal. Surrender. Fear. Angelus..._

The force of Angelus' thrusts slammed Buffy back into the wall. When her head connected with the wet tile, an image stabbed into her brain, causing her to gasp. _In her mind's eye Buffy could see the gentle smile of Angel. The world fell away into a white void while she walked towards him. Placing her hand upon his arm Buffy felt a jolt of love so intense, so incredible it bordered on mystical._

Angelus' arm supported her weight while the other tunneled through her wet hair. Roughly pulling her head back, he ground himself against her soft form. _Angel gently held her while telling her with his beautiful velvet gaze how much he loved her. She tried to speak, to tell him how much she loved him, still loved him despite this betrayal. He serenely smiled before stepping back and turning away._

As Angelus continued to bruisingly pound her against the wall, Buffy's eyes swam with tears. _Holding a hand out to him she silently screamed his name. She could see Angel so clearly: every line in his white linen shirt, every strand in his ebony hair. As if he heard her wordless pain, he stopped and looked over his shoulder. Angel gave Buffy a look so peaceful and so loving that her heart contracted from the perfect beauty of it. He gave her a farewell smile before turning away and walking out into the void._

Heartbroken Buffy sobbed. She laid her head against Angelus' shoulder and let the tears mingle with the shower water until they blended as one. She had daydreamed of Angel many times, remembering the bitter-sweet memories of the past, but never had anything been as vivid as this. He had been so real, so tangible.

So very much there with her, at least in her mind.

Before she could grieve any further her thoughts took hold of her once more. _She could see blood and the night. She could see the sun and the moon combine until they were halves of one whole. She could see a nameless, faceless black smoke curl about her. She could see the martyred visage of Christ as he looked down from the cross._

Distantly she could hear Angelus growl in her ear, demanding her submission. Giving a feminine cry of surrender she felt him drag her down to the floor. Wrapping her legs around his lean waist, Buffy cried aloud from the force of his thrusts. The visions still assailed her in broken fragments.

 _Stained glass laying shattered at her feet. Angelus. Anger, such tremendous anger. Blasphemy. Rage. Pain. Abandonment. Salvation. Lies. Terror..._

Wordlessly she arched against the vision. Angelus held himself above her, relentlessly impaling her over and over again. In a flash of blinding pain the world disappeared, leaving Buffy all alone. She screamed in the void, she screamed the only name that came to her: Angelus. Angel was gone, he came to her only to leave again. Angelus was what was real. He was the one who was here.

Over and over again she screamed his name, even as the blind panic melded into the most mind-numbing ecstasy of the body. In a flash Buffy returned to her present. Angelus' features were tight and drawn with unfulfilled desire. The hot water dripped onto her face as Angelus still held himself above her. Spreading her thighs even wider, he resumed a steady and hard pace which left Buffy gasping in burgeoning desire.

Her blood riotously danced for his pleasure, willing her to plead for his unnatural kiss. Shaking her head from side to side Buffy fought against it. She was terrified of what could happen even as her lips wanted to whisper the words.

Looking up into his face, she watched with fascinated horror as Angelus shifted to his demon. Startled Buffy scrambled from underneath him only to have him flip her over. Feeling him enter her from behind, she let out a frightened whimper. His heartless laugh echoed in her ear even as she felt him scrape his fangs against her neck. "Please don't" she whispered, unconsciously bowing her head and exposing the vulnerable flesh.

"Too late lover, much too late" he ruthlessly replied. Holding her hands down with his own, his hips worked in a quick rhythm. Relentlessly he sought the ecstasy of release. The aroma of Buffy's fear and desire filled his senses while her blood hummed for him. He knew it as surely as he knew the body beneath him.

Just as his orgasm began, Angelus buried his fangs on the side Buffy's neck. She let out a high-pitched cry as her body shuddered from another orgasm. Tears streamed down her face as she felt the shame of this unholy pleasure tear through her. Wickedly her blood and body rejoiced as her lover deeply drank from her.

Angelus' fangs released their deadly hold while his hand turned Buffy's face towards him. Covering her mouth with his he deeply kissed her. Buffy could taste her blood as their tongues slid against each other. Inwardly she recoiled even as she continued to kiss him back. Finally he released her and slid out of her body.

Bonelessly laying on her side, Buffy watched as Angelus walked under a spray of water. Casually he washed himself, completely ignoring her. Forcing herself to her feet, she weaved slightly before finding her balance. The rush of her blood slowed, the primitive call's echo faded, leaving her feeling ashamed and confused.

Touching the side of her neck, Buffy could feel the punctured flesh heal beneath her fingers. What exactly was she now? Still human but maybe a better Slayer? _Yeah right. In whose eyes Buffy?_ Absently looking about her she realized that she noticed everything with a sharpened sense of clarity. Turning towards the door Buffy looked through the foggy glass. A plant by the fish pool caught her attention. Intently she traced the veins of a tiny leaf with her eyes.

The plant was at least 15 yards away and the leaf was no bigger than her pinkie nail.

Looking down at her hands she could see that her skin glowed with a new vitality. Holding one in front of her she could see every detail-every line, every tiny pore. Closing her hand in a fist she sensed an incredibly increased strength. It grew and hummed until there not one part of her that went unnoticed. Pure power flowed throughout Buffy-every breath, every twitch shouted it.

Instead of feeling supreme, her confusion only grew.

Glancing back at Angelus she could see him with an even sharper vividness. The longer she looked, the more she became suffocated. He filled all of her senses until she was drowning in him. His scent and taste became HERS. Mutely she could feel her body call to him.

Nothing. It was as if she wasn't even there.

 _Ignore him too._ Taking her cue from him, Buffy walked over to another nozzle and hurriedly rinsed him off her. _It's all in your mind Buffy. Once you've washed, you'll be okay._ Looking around she saw a bar of soap in the wall recess. Lathering her body with the fragrant soap, Buffy forced her mind into a state of numbness. Concentrating on each movement she soon finished with her shower.

"Get out."

Startled Buffy looked over at Angelus. "W-what? Get out of the shower or get out of here?"

"Both."

Not even looking at Angelus, she padded over to the door and left. Fine by her. The sooner she got out of here-the better. She didn't want to be here anyways. _Although_ there was a part of her that felt a tremor of pain at being dismissed so easily...

Shivering in the cool air, she rubbed her arms as she left water puddles in her wake. Her eyes searched the room. Nope, no towels in sight. Looking at the enormous armoire she quickly walked over and flung open the doors. Row after row of thick, fluffy towels greeted her sight. Wrapping herself in aqua cotton, Buffy quickly strode out of the bathing room.

Emerging back into the dark chamber she let out a long breath. Angelus just did her a favor by letting her go. So why did it feel like a punishment? _God Buffy! You are so FUCKED in the head!_ Dropping the towel Buffy looked for her clothes. Remembering the morning she wandered back into the main room. Seeing her pile of clothes she quickly walked over to them.

Lifting each article up she saw that they were hopelessly torn beyond even temporary repair. Feeling a shift in the air Buffy turned around and saw Angelus. Her mouth went a little dry at his casual beauty. Her traitorous blood stirred, forcing Buffy to look away.

But she still remembered. He wore a crimson robe with gold trim that suited his dark looks perfectly. Toweling his hair dry he glanced in her direction and rudely asked "You're still here?"

Stiffening she looked up and gave him a look of pure dislike. Sarcastically she stated "Gee Angelus, I'm SO sorry but you see I have a _little_ problem."

"What?" he boredly asked while seating himself on the piano bench.

Unceremoniously Buffy pointed to her shredded clothes. "I have nothing to wear because of you."

"So."

Standing in the middle of the cold, dark room Buffy lost her temper. "What do you mean so? Didn't you hear me? I have NO clothes to wear. Nothing. You tore them off me, remember?"

"And?" he asked while perusing through the neat stack of sheet music.

Taking a deep, non-soothing breath Buffy felt the urge to strangle him. Angelus was purposely being obtuse and obnoxious. What did he want from her? Did he want her to beg? Well he was bound to be disappointed.

Looking up at the ceiling for a few seconds she counted to five. _Okay Buffy, don't lose your cool You know he gets a kick off of that. Act like you don't give a damn, you know he hates it._

Looking back at Angelus she saw that he was still reading the music. Without looking up from his task, he ordered "Catch" and threw something black at her. Automatically her arm went up and caught the airborne object. It was his leather jacket. He didn't have it when he walked in from the shower, so how...?

Mentally shaking her head Buffy did not want to think about it. All she wanted to do was go home. Preferably not in just a jacket. Was this all she was to wear? Clearing her throat Buffy asked "Can I borrow something a little more concealing than this?"

"No. Be glad that you have even that." Selecting a sheet, Angelus carefully placed it in position and began playing the opening chords.

"Fine." Jerkily she slipped it on and furiously worked the buttons closed. Without even seeing herself in a mirror Buffy knew she looked like she had just crawled out of someone's bed. Maybe if she ran home nobody would see her. Then again, maybe EVERYBODY would see her. _One thing at a time Buffy, one thing at a time._

Finding her shoes she worked her feet into them and stomped up the stairs. Walking through the splintered doors she remembered the keypad. Damn! Oh, but she did bust it wide open so maybe she _could still_ shimmy her way down...

Before she took a step she heard Angelus call out "28339". _Guess he got it fixed._ Taking a look over her shoulder Buffy could see him slightly swaying as he filled the air with a haunting melody. Inexplicably her eyes filled with tears. In less than twelve hours she had experienced every emotion known to man: fear, hate, joy, ecstasy...

...even love...

 _But never for him! Never!_ Unfortunately, even to her own mind, the words rang hollow. Watching him she noticed everything about him. Everything. As much as she might hate it, Buffy knew she could watch him forever. She watched the heavy silk slide across his shoulders with his every movement. She could even see the ends of his hair curl slightly as it dried. She could see his fingers dance over the keys as the music grew into a deafening crescendo.

 _But I don't love him. I won't love him._

No matter what she would make her thoughts true. She HAD to. She simply had to. Once she got home she would figure out what had happened to her and then maybe fix it. She was just overwhelmed and tired that's all. Maybe this _bond_ thing was all in her head and not even real.

Buffy's blood boiled and raged, making her neck and body throb unmercifully before suddenly laying still once more. Silently she had been mocked and subjugated by her own flesh, even as a gut-wrenching pain tore through her. Watching Angelus, Buffy felt an aching emptiness. She had received no answer. Her body had called to him _again_ and _again_ had been firmly ignored.

The inevitableness of it all communicated itself with slumped shoulders and a bowed head. It was over. He had taken what he wanted and now he was finished. _Good. Now maybe I can get back to normal. I can move on and forget this ever happened. Maybe he'll even leave Sunnydale._

And once again her words sounded hollow.

Turning away she made her way to the elevator, pushed the button, and then punched in the code. Stepping inside Buffy brokenly whispered "Goodbye Angelus...forever" and waited for the doors to close. Silence. The music had stopped so suddenly-one second it was there and less than a second later, it was gone.

Looking over her shoulder she expected to see the subtle gleam of polished metal. Instead she looked into the soulless eyes of her demon lover. Timelessly Buffy stood there unwillingly mesmerized. Her body awakened from its' rejected slumber, silently begging for Angelus.

A light of acknowledgment flared in his dark eyes before being banked. Softly he murmured in a warning tone "There is no forever Buff...not yet."

He had heard her. Across the distance of rejection and hurt, he had heard her. Buffy felt a warmth expand in her soul, in her blood. Before she could stop herself she asked "Then why?" She had fought to leave him, to leave this place, but the reality of it all was that she did not want to leave.

Running a hand across her downy cheek, he smiled when she leaned into him. _She wears her need for me so beautifully._ "I told you to behave or get out of my sight. You misbehaved, so I'm sending you home."

"Misbehaved?" she breathed while relishing in the thrill of his hand. It was so cool, so comforting, so very wanted. Buffy softly moaned as she thought _Angel never felt like this. He would never touch me like this_ without feeling the familiar sting of guilt. She wished he could touch her forever. Later she would deny that she ever felt this way, but for now...

"You never answered me, naughty girl." _The Slayer is melting at my touch. She craves my hand, this very same hand that has bruised and torn her flesh. All after one night..._ Stroking her cheek his fingertips Angelus silently asked himself _But does she really want you? Would she, of her free will, choose to be at your side-in spite of the mysteries of this morning? Despite the threat you hold over her head?_

 _No. But does it really matter why she whores for you, as long as she does?_ Once again the answer was _No._

Buffy's heart, blood, and body warmed with happiness. Moaning softly she closed her eyes from the overwhelming sensations. Helplessly she ached again, wanting him so much. He wasn't sending her away forever. Tamping down the growing relief, she forced herself to say "Whatever."

Smirking he drew her head towards him. Hovering over her lips, he watched in fascination as her entire body pulsed and glimmered with desire. Angelus knew that he could pull up his jacket and fuck Buffy against the wall if he felt like it. She wouldn't stop him, nor would she really want to.

He also knew that if he was to enslave this charming, still-innocent girl he would have to alternately punish and reward her. Punish her when she strayed, punish her simply for the pleasure of it. Reward her when she pleased him, reward her simply to keep her off balance. Pummel her mind and body until she knew no other touch than his, no other emotion other than what he made her feel.

And all the while, night and day, this darling little Slayer would be totally focused upon him.

Hot, angry lust rose up within Angelus. How he wanted see tears stream down her face! How he wanted to see her humiliate herself for him, for his dubious affection. How he wanted to see her lovely face twist with ecstasy! How he wanted to become the very air she breathed! While he had achieved far more than he had thought possible so quickly, he was greedy for more.

 _Patience Angelus, patience._

Crushing his mouth against hers, Angelus boldly plunged into her open mouth. The sweetness of Buffy's lips clung to him even as he pulled back roughly. Leaning against the elevator doorway, he casually rove his eyes over her pliant figure. _So lovely, so fucking lovely._ Out loud he noncholantly reminded her with "Remember Buff: their lives are so fragile, so easy to take. It's up to you to make sure they stay safe."

The soft haze of desire faded from Buffy's eyes. The unreality of the past hours faded as she remembered the outside world. Her life outside of this madness. The next words were spoken with a thread of steel as the Slayer came forth. "Stay away from my friends, my family Angelus."

"Isn't it a little too late to be threatening me Buff? Shouldn't have been last night, before our dirty deeds were done?"

Ignoring his sneer she coldly ordered "I mean it Angelus-leave them alone."

"I will...just as long as you do your part."

The realization of their _arrangement_ caused Buffy to shift uncomfortably. How could she keep her two lives separate? Separate they WOULD be for she could not let the others know about this. Perhaps Angelus would be satisfied with an every now and again _arrangement_.

 _Maybe, but will YOU?_

Looking at a point in the distance she quickly said "Fine, but only when I have time. Which I really don't have alot of SO..."

Angelus stared at her for a moment, absorbing the words left unsaid. "Are you trying to back out Buff? I truly hope not. That wouldn't be nice of you, now would it?" he asked in a low, carefully modulated tone that was all the more frightening than if he had shouted the questions.

Correctly judging the danger of the situation Buffy sharply said "I'm not trying to back out! I'm just letting you know that I still have a life that can't involve you. Which means that I'm not going to be at your beck and call. That's all."

Sagely nodding Angelus replied "That's good to know. Here's something else that's good to know: I own you now Miss Summers. What is mine I keep. Just remember that and we'll get along fine."

Gritting her teeth Buffy said "You don't own me."

"No? You yourself made sure of that last night. If I recall correctly..." Angelus cocked his head to the side while thinking out loud "Yes...yep, you definitely did that." Straigtening he confidently recalled "I seem to remember a time last night when you were bouncing away on my cock. Remember that time Buff? I know you did it A LOT, but there's this one time in particular..."

"You were riding me, and oh babe, you were SO good." Making a lusty noise Angelus continued. "Anyways, I remember asking you who you belonged to. And you know what you said? No? C'mon Buff-how could you forget?"

Primly Buffy replied "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ah, I see. Let me see if I can remind you." Mimicking a high-pitched voice Angelus shamelessly imitated Buffy. "Oh!..oh!...Angelus!...I belong to you...Angelus! Yes! Yes!"

Wickedly he grinned at her while Buffy's mouth dropped open. How could he just bring that up! A flush stained her cheeks. Did she really sound like that? Dropping her gaze from his she looked at the floor. Oh God! She felt like she could just die of embarassment right now. Mutinously she mumbled "Last night doesn't change anything."

Chuckling Angelus ran a finger down the tip of Buffy's nose. "Last night changes everything darling. You just make sure you spread 'em when and where I want. You do that, then they live. You play nice, I'll play nice." His voice deepened as he finished with "Remember that the power is in your hands...and the guilt if you force me to play dirty."

"Oh and Buff?" Bringing his finger up to his lips Angelus made a _shushing_ noise. "Let's also keep this between us. It'll be our little secret."

Impotent anger settled heavily in Buffy's mind. She had NO intention of letting anyone know about this, but she hated Angelus telling her what to do. It was another thing for him to hold over her head and she loathed that. Snapping she said "What difference does it make? Maybe I'll just tell them everything! If they know, then they'll be prepared and you can't hurt them."

Quietly he simply stated, "You tell them, they die."

Looking up her eyes flashed with anger and awareness. "You don't want them to know, do you? I'm open to you but they're not. And you know that! You know that they'll find a way to keep me from you-"

A cold look entered his eyes as he smoothly cut in with, "Do you really think that anyone, including you, can stop me from getting what I want?"

"I can stop you."

"Dream on Buff. If it makes you sleep better at night, then..." elegantly he shrugged while unabashedly smirking.

"I can. I just..." at this Buffy stammered slightly before boldly saying, "You just haven't given me a major reason to. But I'm serious Angelus: don't cross the line with me. I'm still the Slayer and you're still-"

Tired of hearing her self-driven, moralistic threats and posings Angelus snarled, "Your lover." Hauling her against him, Angelus entangled his fingers in Buffy's hair. Pulling her head back he lightly sucked the skin of his healed bite, delighting in the lyrical sound her speeding pulses. His fangs slid in just a tiny bit, enough that Buffy's body sagged against his own, before pulling away from her completely.

"Just be ready for me Buff." With that he disappeared from her sight. Immediately Buffy could hear the tinkling sounds of the piano fill the air as the doors slid shut.

With tremendous effort Buffy stood ram-rod straight as the elevator quickly reached the first floor. Valiantly she dealt with the pulsing and pounding within her body. Resolutely she controlled the pain that lanced her body. Her face was utterly composed and without expression as the doors quietly slid open with a hiss.

Walking out into the lobby she ignored the curious looks of the doorman and desk clerk. She never realized that the haunting lovliness of her face beckoned those surrounding her. Nor did she realize that the air of tragic beauty compelled those to watch her despite the inbred politeness and discretion each man possessed.

Rousing himself from his stupor, the door man scurried across the highly polished blue-veined marble floor and opened the door for Buffy. Silently she stepped through the portal, her breath becoming more and more shallow, and left the building. Helplessly both mens' eyes were riveted on the small figure with the enormous trailing leather coat. Finally looking at each other, the desk clerk murmured "Do you think she'll be back?"

Shaking his head the middle-aged doorman replied "I don't know. She's the first Mr. Gryphon ever brought here, so who knows?" Looking back at her he mumbled "I don't know Simon, but I sure as Hell hope not. Did you ever see so much pain in such a young person?" Shaking his head the doorman somehow knew that this would not be the last they saw of the young girl.

With forced jovialness he walked away from the door and said "So, did you see butt-whipping Chicago gave L.A. last night?" Simon immediately let out a disgruntled complaint and a reply as to why the Lakers were off the night before. He only listened with half an ear as he thought _Dammit where's that girl's father? What is she even doing here? She's too damned young to be with such an older man like that Mr. Gryphon! Hell, it's against the law!_

The doorman named Mr. Robert Lomarr also knew that there wasn't a damned thing he could do about it either. The mayor, who payed every person's salary in this building, specifically wanted the wealthy man in the penthouse left alone. _Ignore anything you might see Bobby. Mr. Gryphon is a very powerful man, do you understand me? We don't want him to ever feel uncomfortable._

Even if he made an anonymous report to the police, everything was so locked up in this city they would know who did it. Robert needed this job and he also felt that a firing wouldn't be all that would happen to him. Mentally shaking his head, he shrugged off his paranoid thoughts. There was an undercurrent to this town that sometimes got to him. As he made the appropriate replies to Simon, Robert couldn't help but think of the little blond-headed girl one last time. _Stay away darlin'. Just stay away!_

Outside Buffy screwed her eyes shut as the bright sunlight pierced her vision. Slowly re-opening them she looked about her as she tried to gather her bearings. With surprise she noticed the stately building of City Hall right across the street.

Angelus lived right across the street from City Hall. How strange.

She absently watched the occasional suited individual enter or leave the large building. What would the mayor say if he knew of not only vampires, but the fact that one lived right across the street from his workplace? He'd probably pass out from the shock.

The familiar tingling sensation wrapped itself around Buffy. She felt compelled to look up at the building behind her. Angelus. Closing her eyes, her body swayed slightly as she felt him. He was up there watching her, she knew it. Silently the crimson liquid that flowed through her veins stirred with its' wants. Buffy's neck throbbed unmercifully. Touching it she could feel the powerful pulse beneath.

Turning away, Buffy forced herself to take one step after another along the sidewalk. Translucent tears flowed down her face as she felt the impact of leaving him. It was so agonizing, so incredibly painful. So incredibly insane! Stifling a sob, she felt disgusted that she was proving Angelus' spiteful words to be true. _Truly Buff how embarassing do you think it will be for me when you tug at my sleeve and weep every time I leave you?_

Dodging the few people on the sidewalk, Buffy felt such confusion eat away at her soul. Neither of them really discussed what had happened that morning. Was it so commonplace for Angelus? Had it happened countless times before? Intense jealousy seared her as she thought of the lines of faceless women before her. Had they all felt so desperate for him? Had he made them feel so out of control?

 _What do you care?!_ her logic shouted at her. _You're only screwing him to keep them safe. And maybe not even for that long-don't forget good old shift-changer demon Acrymydion!_

"Look to him and you'll find salvation."

Abruptly stopping Buffy found herself in front of a steepled church. Searching for the voice she saw a young man standing on the steps. Gentle blue eyes peered from a smooth, unlined face. Buffy's eyes were drawn to the peace to be found there. "What did you say?"

"You looked troubled." Pointing skywards the young priest repeated, "Look to him and you will found the answers you seek."

Staring at him for several moments she remembered saying her prayers with her mother as a little girl. When was the last time she prayed? When was the last time she even went to church? Gratefully smiling at the nameless gentle warrior of God, Buffy climbed up the stone steps. No longer conscious of her state of undress she entered the dimly lit church. It was completely empty. Walking across the mutely carpeted floor she slid into a pew and laid her head on the cool wood in front of her.

Taking a deep breath, Buffy tried to cleanse her mind of Angelus. He had no right in this place of worship. Here he held no power, no dominion. Looking up she observed the biblical scenes that surrounded her. The stained glass pictured the martyred expressions of saint after saint, while the tiny flicker of candles graced the feet of Christ as he hung from his cross.

Transfixed Buffy stared at the image of the Savior. Dark knowledge probed her mind as she looked at every detail of the cross. It was so strange to be able to see minute cracks that crossed the pale lips and the microscopic flakes of paint that had fallen from his pupils. Walking up to the altar her eyes held those of Christ represented. Finally stopping before rows and rows of candles, Buffy stood in front of the Christian Savior.

Whispering she asked "What should I do? Where do I get the strength do fight him? I can't let him have me body and soul, but..." faltering she looked away. She should pray for forgiveness, she should beg for it, but she couldn't. Looking back into the sculpted eyes she whispered "I want to be with him. I hate Angelus, I do...b-but I want to be with him."

Hearing herself, hearing the pained finality of her words, Buffy's fury rose. Lashing out at the silence she demaned in an angry whisper "How could you let me fall like this? I thought I was fighting for you, I thought that I was one of the good ones. Why didn't you protect me? Where were you when I needed you?!"

As abruptly as her anger rose, it dissipated. Her shoulders sagging, Buffy turned away from the altar and its' empty Christ. She couldn't blame God, she could only blame herself. She knew the risks, she knew what she was dealing with and she STILL did it. She only had herself to blame, no one else.

Before Buffy reached the doorway she heard a soft sigh and then a rush of silence. Looking over her shoulder she saw with surprise that all of the candles had been extinguished. The smoke drifted slowly towards the ceiling, curling before the cross before fading into nothing. She felt a shiver of foreboding grip her tightly. A brief crack in her mind opened and a red-misted vision wrapped itself around her brain...

 _Shattered glass...blasphemy...blood...pain...ecstasy...hatred...'_

...before disappearing back into her subconscious, leaving Buffy shaken but completely without memory of what she saw...

Walking back out into the sunlight, she saw the priest standing in the same spot. His eyes held hers as she made her way towards him. "Did you find the answers you were seeking?"

A hard look glinted in her hazel eyes, making them appear blue, before fading away. Glancing away Buffy thought about the weeks that passed and those to come. Looking back at the priest she nodded and said, "Yes Father, I found them."

 _You're on your own Slayer. You made the choices-now live with them._

With that she turned away, walked down the steps, and hurriedly made her way home.


	18. Chapter 18

"Mom!" Buffy started from her seat on the couch.

Dragging a suitcase behind her, Joyce Summers stopped in the living room and brightly smiled at her daughter. "Hi honey! I was able to finish the Krakow acquisition a day early, so here I am. Miss me?"

Getting up from her spot, Buffy quickly rushed her mother with a big hug. "You know I missed you!"

Startled from the strength of her hug, Joyce squeaked "Hey! I never get this kind of reception at home, maybe I should go away more often, huh?"

Closing her eyes tightly Buffy felt such a rush of emotion for her mother. She had never really appreciated how safe this one person could make her feel. Even now.

Especially now.

As long as her mother was with her, the darkness could never touch her.

Tightly squeezing her slight daughter Joyce pulled back and proposed "Let's go out for dinner tonight! What do you say?"

Buffy felt all the shadows being chased away by her mother's enthusiasm. "Sure Mom. Have anything in mind?"

With one arm around her daughter Joyce walked both of them into the kitchen. "I know this fabulous restaurant that just opened up a couple of weeks ago. I think it's Italian, I'm not sure, but the architecture is simply _fabulous_." Letting go of Buffy, she walked over to the refrigerator and poked her head in. "I'll tell you what-bagged nuts just don't go a long way. I'm starving! What about you?"

Although she really hadn't had much of an appetite Buffy smiled and fibbed. "Yeah, I'm a little hungry."

"Good. I'm in the mood for some really thick meat and cheese sandwiches, how about you?"

"Sure." Buffy sat down at the kitchen table as her mother chattered away. Resting her chin on her hands, she watched as her mother flitted from one of the kitchen to the other, occasionally looking over her shoulder as she made a remark.

Seeing her mother do something Buffy had seen countless times before reinforced her shaky sense of security. Everything seemed so normal, so safe, in this kitchen. So PREDICTABLE. Unlike the past few days...

Abruptly stopping in the middle of making a three-meat sandwich, Joyce asked "Buffy?"

"Hmm?"

Walking over to the kitchen window, her mother peered at the glass and touched it with one finger. The windows! Her mom would notice the new windows! _Okay how do we explain this one to her?_ Turning back to Buffy she said with surprise "You washed the windows!"

Swallowing slightly Buffy simply repeated "Washed them?"

Never noticing the hesitancy in her daughter's question, she asked "Did you do all of them?" Not even waiting for her daughter to answer, Joyce walked into the living room to look at those windows.

Trailing behind her, Buffy waited for the realization to dawn on her mother. It never did. "I can't believe you did this! Honey, that was so sweet of you!" Letting the lace curtain fall back in place she exclaimed "They look as good as new."

Walking back towards Buffy, Joyce gave her a huge hug and then walked back into the kitchen with a bounce to her step. Over her shoulder she said "I never knew how nice our windows looked. They look like they cost a fortune, but then again, a clean window does that!"

Gamely Buffy said "You found me out. I did it-I wanted to do something nice for you."

 _Buffy had reached her street when she saw two white trucks and a blue van parked in her driveway. Staring at the scene in confusion, she made her way quickly to the house. She saw workmen busily bustling around, some were on the porch, others were coming from around the back of her house. Before she could ask what was going on, a portly older man walked across the lawn towards her. "Miss Summers?"_

 _ **How'd he know my name? What are they doing here?**_ _"Yes? Uh, look, what are you-"_

 _Shoving a pink invoice in her face the stranger said "This is for you. We've replaced all the windows and even cleaned all the debris inside and out."_

" _You replaced the windows? Wait! You were in my house?" Buffy sharply asked in disbelief._

 _Affronted the older man snorted. "Of course we were in the house. How else were we supposed to fit the windows?" His thick, gray-streaked brows drew together in a frown. "I run an honest company here Miss. Everyone in this crew, including myself, is bonded. I have no thieves working for me. So everything that was in your house when we got here IS in there now."_

 _Turning to look behind him, the man yelled in a booming voice "Pack it up folks! We're done here!" Immediately the blue-uniformed men streamed towards the trucks, carrying their supplies with them. Looking back at Buffy he dug into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. "These are yours. They're the copy of your house keys. If you have any problems with the windows, call the number on the invoice and we'll send someone over within the hour."_

 _With that the man turned away and strode over to the van. "Wait!" Clutching the piece of paper in her hand Buffy reached the man. "How much do I owe you?" Never mind the fact that she had no money and no way to pay, it just seemed like the thing to say._

 _Rearing back in surprise the man asked "Owe me? Why Miss the bill has already been paid in full!"_

 _Slanting a shocked look at him, Buffy asked "It has?"_

" _Why yes, by a Mr. Gryphon. He had us over here by 8:00 this morning. I had to call every man I had, plus some, to fill this order. Normally we wouldn't have come out with such short notice but," a pleased twinkle sparkled in his eye as he said "He paid triple the rate, so we didn't mind so much."_

 _As if he said more than he should, the man brusquely changed the subject and warned "I wouldn't try to open the windows just yet. You don't want to take the chance that they might come loose. Now they SHOULDN'T, but to be safe wait about 48 hours."_

 _Not having anything else to say Buffy said "Umm, okay."_

" _By the way, it says it on the invoice but I just wanted to tell you a little something about these windows. You can't chip, scratch, or break 'em. They're even earthquake proof. They keep the u.v rays from coming through but still let the light in. It's supposed to be safer for your skin that way. You know-with all the skin cancer going around. We have some that, with the flick of a button, go a really thick white color-but you don't have those. Still these windows here are the best money can buy. They come from-"_

" _France." Buffy absently stated. Angelus had kept his word again. He replaced all the windows he had broken in his rage. But even then, he twisted the situation to suit his purposes. Now he would be completely safe in her home. He placed his own comfort level into her home. But how the hell had he gotten a copy of her house keys?_

" _That's right! They come from France. Expensive too, but they're worth it. Nothing like I've ever seen. Well, have a good afternoon Miss."_

" _You too."_

 _Stopping at the other side of the van, the man looked at Buffy, and with the sure ease that parents to speak to children (regardless of whose children they are) said "And Miss? You should wear something other than that coat! It's just not decent. What would your mama say if she saw you in that?"_

 _Buffy immediately felt a ruby flush stain her face. For a minute she had forgotten what she was wearing. Or rather, what she was not wearing. Damn that Angelus! Straightening her spine she smoothly, despite her blushes, said "I don't see anything wrong with it. I'm completely covered aren't I?"_

" _Well yes, but-"_

 _Not giving the man time to say anything else she cut in with "What I think is indecent is an old man thinking dirty thoughts about what's under my coat..."_

 _With that Buffy regally walked towards her house, leaving the man slack-jawed. Were those words really coming from her mouth? Did she sound that confident and in control? Obviously she did because she could hear him mumble under his breath "Damn uppity kid! I never meant anything like that!" Put him in his place! Maybe next time he won't so free with his opinion. Damn that felt good! Having enhanced hearing wasn't such a bad thing either._

"Well I think that is so sweet of you honey! You've really made my day. Imagine that: my teenage daughter actually did housework!"

"Hey! I do housework-"

Her mother arched a brow in blatant disbelief.

"Well...I DO...sometimes..." Abruptly changing the subject Buffy said "I'm starving! Are they almost done?"

Smiling Joyce shook her head and said "Almost, just need to get one more thing." Layering another slice of cheese, she stepped back and waved her hands with a flourish and said "Done!"

Mother and daughter talked and ate in their bright and sunny kitchen. For an hour Buffy forgot about her troubles and happily sat there in a place were nothing ever changed.

Only one incident marred this belief.

At one point during their meal Joyce leaned back and stated "It's such a nice day outside today. I'm going to go open a window and let some of this early spring in." Jumping up Buffy yelled "No!" Bringing her voice down, she smiled at her startled mother and said "I mean, let me do it for you Mom."

Walking towards the window Buffy threw over her shoulder "Just stay in your chair and let me take care of it." _Doesn't that sound familiar? I'll take care of it._ Hoping that the window wouldn't mind being disturbed during the 48 hour period, she undid the latch and gently eased it open without a problem.

It was a reminder that things DID change and would continue so, no matter how she might wish otherwise.

Now laying on the bed in her room, Buffy wanted to rest for a few minutes before getting ready for dinner. They would be leaving for the restaurant in an hour and a half which meant Buffy had to soon get up to take a shower. But for right now, she just wanted to lay her head down and rest.

Enjoy the quietness of the day.

Enjoy the peace of a Sunday afternoon.

Enjoy the scent of Angelus on her sheets...

Heaving an impatient sigh, Buffy punched her pillow and turned on her side. Last night had been horrible-an interminable wait between dusk and dawn. She told herself she was glad he hadn't showed. She told herself that she couldn't spend all of her time sleeping with him (or not sleeping as it would be). She told herself that it would be a perfect time to catch up on some reading, on some homework.

Her body told her something entirely different.

Throughout the night she had alternated between pacing and forcing herself to lay still. Every nighttime noise and every shift in the house was a whisper of promised pleasure. Wherever she was, her eyes would continually dart to the windows, hoping he was on the other side.

He never was.

To lay on this bed last night had been pure torture. Memory after memory flashed and imprinted itself into her mind. It had been an agonizing wait. An empty wait.

He never showed.

Swinging her feet off the bed, Buffy dragged herself over to the closet and limply looked through each item. Finally selecting a lilac, sleeveless dress with ivory embroidery she laid it on her bed and rifled through her dresser looking for undergarments. Finding a bra and a pair of panties in matching ivory, Buffy threw those on the bed too.

She doubted she would see him tonight. Perhaps it WAS going to be an occasional arrangement. Frowning into her mirror she thought of what a contrary person she was. She was supposed to find it gross being with a demon. _Gross being with a demon Buffy? Understatement by much?_

It was supposed to be a noble act with her as the heroine giving into the evil king to save the village, the village being her friends, and in the end she was supposed to stand triumphant-untouched by it all.

At least that's the way it was supposed to be.

Instead, she was hopelessly attracted to the evil king. She missed the dark magic that he made her feel. She missed his sinful royal chamber, she missed being his chattel. _I miss being his chattel? How do I know what that even means?_ Sticking out her tongue at her reflection she was glad to see the mournful image dissolve, leaving an impish twin behind.

 _Okay, so maybe I'm not the perfect heroine. And maybe Angelus is way worse than any evil king can be, And maybe I'm crazy, but can't I still come out on top? Somehow? I want him so damned much, but maybe I'm not alone. Maybe he wants me as much..._

Going into her bathroom Buffy quickly began her shower. Standing under the warm water she softly sighed with pleasure. Her nipples tightened in response and her body began to hum. The water felt so deliciously warm, its' caress touching her all over. _No matter how much he's hated me, and still hates me, he can't stay away for long..._

Laying on the bottom of the tub, she opened her mouth and let the droplets flow down her throat. Hesitantly laying her hand on her stomach, Buffy let her memories drench her. She never knew sex could feel so good. So consuming. Closing her eyes, she saw the hard visage of Angelus. His eyes were so powerful in their magic. They raked her with their burning coals, leaving her as ash.

But memory was a pale substitute for reality. The reality of feeling his cold body pressed tightly against her own. The reality of being devoured by his passion. The reality of being his.

Shifting her legs, Buffy brought one up and held it in the air. In a flash she saw Angelus holding it up like this and running his lips and tongue along her skin. It was then that she discovered how sensitive the flesh behind her knee was. Gently touching the area Buffy saw Angelus' mouth pressed against her, maddeningly sucking the spot as she gasped his name.

Bringing down her leg, Buffy let her hand drift a little further. Her entire body felt so sensitive just by memory. He had touched her so thoroughly last night. Especially down THERE. Would it feel as good if she did it? As her fingertips lightly grazed the soaked curls, she heard her mother call "Buffy?"

 _Mom! She can't catch me like this!_ Scrambling up from the tub she called out a little breathless "Yeah?" and hoped her mother had no idea of what she had been in the middle of doing.

From the other side of the shower curtain her mother chided "You've been in here forever! Over thirty minutes. What's taking you so long?"

"Umm...I'm almost done."

"Good. You don't have that much more time Buffy. I know how long it takes you to get ready. I've already made the reservations, so be ready by 6:30, okay?"

"Uhh, okay. Sure thing." Hearing her mother leave the bathroom, Buffy let out a pent-up breath. It had only felt like a few minutes, so lost was she in her carnal thoughts. Standing under the spray she immediately noticed that the water had gotten considerably colder. Shivering Buffy wondered how she could have gotten so lost that she didn't feel the water. In record time she washed her hair, shaved her legs and underarms, and washed her body.

Wrapping herself in a towel, she stepped out of the tub and began blow drying her hair. Running the brush through the wet strands, an image of Angelus combing her hair made Buffy falter. He could be so gentle when he wanted to. _He can also be an ass too. Don't forget about how he gets when you go down on him._

Why did he act like that?

 _Maybe it's just a humiliation thing with him. Your humiliation Buffy._ It wouldn't be surprising if that was exactly what Angelus was about and unfortunately she played right into it. _Maybe it's something else though. Maybe it has something to do with Lady Fiona._ Frowning Buffy felt the sting of the green-eyed monster. To be jealous of a woman long dead was pretty pathetic, but it didn't change the fact that she was jealous.

Really jealous.

This woman had so much power over Angel and Angelus. She completely destroyed and shaped the short life of a spoiled Lord Angel and the eternal life of a demon prince named Angelus. In a way Buffy wished he hadn't told her about this woman that was to marry her Angel. Although, if things hadn't happened the way they did-she would have never met Angel.

In a sad twist of fate she had both Lady Fiona and Angelus to thank for the precious time she had shared with him.

Sometimes knowledge could be a heavy burden to carry. As she stood there drying her hair, Buffy thought about the multitude of women that had been recorded as Angelus' victims. There had been so many, probably much more than even the Watchers knew.

His hands carried the blood of many, yet she allowed those same hands to touch her. She craved for those same hands to feel her. What was this sickness that could make her look past his horrible deeds? Beyond the sport of seduction and drainage, Angelus had taken torture to a new level among his kind, so much so that even the Watchers had recorded it as:

 _Even Lucifer himself could not have devised such evil, such heinous glee as that which Angelus takes upon breaking body after body...His bloody methods of torture make even the most stalwart of us retch...The most prolific torturer in the dreaded Spanish Inquisition could not possess one-tenth of his cruelty..._

And yet when she was with him, she forgot. She forgot it all. It seemed unreal to her even now. It didn't seem possible that the same man who had pinned up her hair so carefully could be the same written man. EVEN though she had read the old, faded texts, had read name after name after name, had even seen sketches of victim after victim...

Swallowing thickly, Buffy watched her face go pale. Seeing things in this light made her feel sick. Thinking of him, of Angelus, like this made her feel disgusted at them both. _You made your choice Buffy, you have to live with it. If you play your cards right, you might just walk out of this intact. You're both killers, he just likes it while you don't._

 _I don't? I don't enjoy the fight, the hunt, the thrill of taking the life of a vampire every night? I don't enjoy tallying up each kill, disappointed when one night's count is lower than the one before?_

Unplugging the hair dryer she automatically wrapped the cord around it before storing it under the sink. Pulling out a caddie of make-up, she began applying a light layer of eye shadow. Buffy had to admit to herself that she was scared. Thinking of the man-demon she had gotten involved with she had to admit her terror. Questioning who she believed herself to be scared the shit out of her.

How would she come out of this unscathed?

He couldn't kill her, no matter what he said she believed that he could not kill her. So she wasn't likely to end up just like the ones before her, but...but what? Sharpening her liner pencil, she carefully drew a light line across her lid. Smudging it with a sponge-tip brush she wondered about his motives. Why did he want to fuck her so badly? It had to be more than lust, but what?

 _What if it isn't more than lust? Angel loved me so completely, isn't it possible that Angelus feels the after-effects of that? But then again, maybe it is just lust and nothing else more. Or maybe he still feels the love and he can't help himself._

She hoped so, but not only because it made her feel slightly giddy. She hoped he felt as helpless as she did about him.

Uncapping her mascara bottle Buffy applied a layer to her eyelashes. Running a small brush to separate each lash, she pondered on the possibility of Angelus and love. Not in the girlie _Oooh, I wonder if I can make a demon fall in love with me_ way, but in the _If this demon feels something close to love, how far will he let it go before lashing out at me or others_ way.

He already had set things in motion to barbecue her friends, so there was no doubt that he would lash out if things did not go his way. _But he hasn't killed anybody Buffy. If he did, you'd know about it. He's different than he was before. The only one he lashes out at is you. You have to keep it that way._

Brushing on a translucent layer of blush she said out loud "Keep his focus on you. You can handle anything he dishes out. You'll control him this way. Just keep it on you."

Saving her lipstick for after she was dressed, Buffy walked into her room. Glancing out her brand-new window she saw the deep red-orange light of the setting sun. It would be dark soon. Where would Angelus be tonight?

Slipping on her underclothes Buffy opened up a bottle of lotion from her dresser and generously lathered her body. Rubbing in the fragrant substance into her arms, she took a deep breath. She honestly didn't know how she would react the next she saw him, but hopefully it would be a sight better than last time.

A bond between the two of them seemed impossible. A Slayer and A Vampire. It was a paradox. A trick of the cosmos. Turning back to her bed, Buffy took her dress off the hanger and unzipped the back of it. Sliding it over her head she twisted her arm behind her and re-zipped it. Smoothing the front of her dress she gave herself a critical look in the mirror.

She looked good.

The passage of time between today and yesterday had done nothing to fade the new vitality of her form. She looked utterly beautiful and it frightened her. Not in a quivering, helpless way but in an unsettling way. How long would it be before this charade became uncovered? Someone, most likely Giles, was bound to notice the changes and not just the physical one.

Her hearing and sight were so incredibly clear now, but it seemed to come in and out. At times she saw everything in such minute detail that she simply had to close her eyes and shut it all out. At times she could even hear the smallest whisper from next door. Remembering last night, Buffy's ears began to burn. The neighbors next door had been pretty intimate and she had heard things that she would rather not have known about them.

But then she hadn't heard her mother come into the room. She should have been able to hear her normally but she hadn't heard her at all. Her body had changed and Buffy still didn't really know how. She had thought about going by Giles' but then she didn't know how she would explain it. She couldn't tell part of it without ALL of it coming out.

None of it could come out.

So for now, she was on her own.

Glancing at the clock she saw that she only had a few minutes left. Rushing back into the bathroom she slid a soft pink shade of lipstick across her lips. Brushing a strand of hair off her face Buffy caught sight of a flash of silver. Angel's ring. Lowering her hand she stared at the simple symbol of their love.

A simple symbol for a love that was far from simple.

Feeling a heavy cloak of sadness descend over her, Buffy made the hard decision of taking the ring off. She had no right to wear it anymore. She couldn't wear it while being with Angelus. Not because he cared (in fact she was surprised he had yet to say anything about it) but because it wasn't right. She should have taken it off the night that she let Angelus into her.

"Buffy!" Joyce's voice called out from downstairs. Rushing back into her bedroom she opened up a music box and placed her treasure onto the faded blue velvet. "Buffy we have to go!" Yelling "I'm coming!" she hurriedly looked at her nails and toes. Shiny pink cuticles greeted her but she wasn't satisfied. Walking back to her dresser, Buffy looked for a bottle of nail polish to match her dress. She picked several bottles up while murmuring "Where are you? No, not that one. I need...yes! There it is!"

Sitting on a chair she propped one foot up and quickly painted the nails before propping the other one up. Silently thanking the makers of 60-second polish, she rapidly painted the nails of both hands before gingerly twisting the bottle closed. Waving her hands in the air to speed the drying process she opened up her closet and found the shoes that went specifically with her dress.

Carefully undoing the buckle, Buffy slid her feet into the strappy heels. Checking to make sure that her polish did not get smudged, she redid the buckle and gave a studied look at the nails of her hands. Satisfied with the results she gave one last look in the mirror and was on her way down the stairs when she heard yet another "Buffy!"

Her mother was fiddling with her purse as she looked up. "There you are. You look great. Have you done something new with your makeup?" Not giving her daughter time to answer she sweetly asked "Ready?"

Giving a wry grin Buffy answered, as if her mother hadn't been bellowing at her for the last five minutes, "Ready if you are."

The ride to the restaurant had been pleasant between the two of them. Pulling up at the front of a whitewashed, many column building, Buffy gave a low whistle. "Valet parking. Here in Sunnydale. Wow."

Grinning her mother said "I know, isn't it fun? Not that I need valet parking, but you know?"

Grinning in return Buffy replied "I know." Stepping out of the car she looked up at the sign. It was a small one-gold lettering against a hunter green background. The three young men milling about the front wore the usual gear for valet parkers: black tie, white shirt, red jacket. This restaurant must be trying to cater to Sunnydale's little corp of elite. As far as she knew, it was the only place with valet parking.

Walking along side her mother they were ushered into the dimly lit establishment. Stopping by the universal post and being judged by the universal snooty maitre d'snobville, Joyce informed the elder man "Table for two for Summers." Boredly running his finger down the list, he considerably brightened by what he saw there. Effusively he beckoned them with "Please, please right this way."

As they wove their way by table after table, Buffy and her mother exchanged bemused looks while following the suited man. He led them up a small flight of stairs and finally stopped in front of a large table set for two. This group of tables were much larger than the ones they passed by. Eagerly seating them both, the maitre d'suck-up stressed "If there is anything not to your liking please let your server know. If you don't see something you would like to eat, we will have our chefs prepare it for you. Anything you desire, just request and it will be given."

Graciously Joyce thanked him and assured him that she was confident that everything would be acceptable to both her and her daughter. A young waiter was immediately appeared, placed a large basket of breadsticks on the table, and said "Hello, I'll be your server for tonight. What would you like to drink?"

Once the drinks were ordered Buffy leaned closer and asked "Did you slip something extra to that little man?"

Laughing out loud her mother took a bite from a steamy breadstick before saying "No honey, not a dime. It's just apart of great service. I told you this restaurant was fabulous!"

"Maybe, but he was pretty snotty at first."

"I think it's part of the training- _in order to perform this job correctly you MUST learn how to look down your nose at everybody. No exceptions! Once you have them squirming, then you treat them like royalty so they'll forget how rude you were and come back for more._ "

They were both laughing when the waiter appeared and gracefully set their drinks down. Standing back up to his full height he inquired "Would you like an appetizer?"

Quickly picking up the menu Buffy's mom answered "I'm sorry, but we haven't even looked at this yet."

Smiling at both, but especially at Buffy, he smoothly said "No problem. Would you like me to give you a few more minutes or if you'd like, I could tell you the specials of the house."

"That would be great. What's today's special?"

Discreetly observing the waiter, Buffy guessed him to be about college-age. Tall, well-built, dark hair, blue eyes. Handsome definitely. And if she read correctly, he seemed to like her too. Murmuring her order Buffy had to admit that she thought him very handsome. Quickly he left with a promise and a smile to have their appetizers back shortly.

But he didn't stir her like Angel and Angelus did and does.

Just the thought of Angelus had Buffy slightly shifting in her seat. She could feel a flush color her cheeks and she suddenly had trouble drawing breath. Taking a sip of the cool liquid she could feel a tiny sweat break across her forehead. The hunger was becoming all too familiar.

Desperately focusing her thoughts elsewhere, Buffy glanced at her mother. Joyce was leaning back in her chair, an amused smile brightening her face. "What?"

Setting her glass back on the table she casually stated "The waiter seemed to like you. You're blushing so I can only assume that you like him."

Taking another drink from her glass, Buffy shook her head. "I'm not blushing."

"Yes you are. You're fidgety too." Leaning her elbows on the table she charged "Just admit it: you think he's cute."

"Mom!"

"Admit it!"

"I...I...do think he's cute, but that doesn't mean I like him! I'm just," _in the throes of demon-induced lust for a demon_ , "...hot or I mean heated. That's all." Waving her menu she innocently asked "Don't you find it hot here?"

"Uh-huh." Her mother just gave another satisfied grin and settled back to look at her menu.

The achy feelings intensified. Repeatedly Buffy crossed her legs in her discomfort but soon that became too distracting. Each shift caused her panties to rub against her in a most disconcerting way. The subject of her mother's curiosity soon appeared at their table again with the tantalizing aroma of freshly cooked fare.

Ignoring the speculative look from her mother she watched while he placed each plate on the fine green linen. Standing back he magically produced a rose for each of them with a flourish. Exclaiming in delight Joyce took the proffered gift and slowly brought the delicate flower up, inhaling the subtle scent.

Leaning closer, but still at a respectful distance, the young man smiled and offered the red rose to Buffy. Smiling her thanks through the twisting agony that shot through her body, she took the flower. Immediately she felt a thorn prick her finger. Picking up her hand, the blue-eyed waiter intently surveyed her finger for any damage. Buffy inhaled sharply at the contact. Not because she felt desire for him but because she was being touched.

It hurt badly.

Gently dabbing at the tiny drop of blood he ardently apologized. "I'm so sorry. I thought I had gotten all the thorns. Here, let me." Laying her hand down he picked up the rose and carefully looked at the long stem. Pulling out a pair of scissors from his belt/pocket, he snipped off the offending thorn and gave Buffy back her rose.

It was only with great control that she could smile and thank him. Her insides felt like they were twisting and coiling around each other. Buffy declined his offer of a band-aid and simply just wanted him to go away. Not because she was angry with him, but just because.

After taking their dinner order and apologizing once more, the young man finally left. She was in too much misery to be flattered by his obvious attraction. Mechanically she ate bite after bite and even pleasantly responded to her mother's crowing, but on the inside she was in chaos.

 _I'm in heat. Like a fucking dog._

"School's going well. I still help out a lot in the library..."

 _I want to fuck Angelus so bad, but I know that even if he were to show up stark naked in front of me, I'd probably want to run._

"Willow? No, I haven't talked to her this weekend but she was going to be pretty busy..."

 _I can't believe I'm in fucking heat. How can I function like this?_

"Yes I'm still going to my tutoring sessions..."

 _I ache so bad I want to cry._

Finally, after eating the majority of her food, Buffy asked "Mom? Can I be excused? I have to go to the bathroom, and fix my mascara. It's bugging me, so I might be a while." Rapidly blinking, she brought a finger up to her lashes in order to perpetuate her excuse.

 _Maybe being in a room full of toilets will snap me out of this. Where the hell did this come from? Just because I thought of him? If so, I'm in BIG trouble. I can't help but think about him all the time._

"Sure honey. I'll just guard our roses and our food."

Standing up Buffy realized that the waiter was pulling back her chair. Politely smiling at him she said "Thank you."

"It's the least I can do, especially since it was my fault you got cut." Pushing in her chair he pulled out a band-aid from his pocket. "I know you said you didn't need one, but it would make me feel a whole lot better if you put it on." Not even waiting for her answer he lifted up her hand and quickly placed it on her finger.

Looking at the blue and yellow band-aid, she looked back up at the handsome young man. "Tweety bird?" she asked in surprise.

"Hey I guess I'm still looney for Looney-Toons."

Momentarily forgetting her physical pain, Buffy laughed out loud at the embarrassed look on his face. "Don't worry, I'm still looney for them myself." He was still holding her finger when she casually looked over her shoulder and saw Angelus.

Her heart stood still and the smile froze on her face while her mind filtered in the fact that he was here. Not only was he here but he was sitting at a table with several distinguished-looking people who ranged in age from being fairly young to being fairly old. Not only was he here sitting at a filled table, but he was wearing a conservatively dark suit with a crisp white shirt and wine-colored tie.

Angelus was HERE.

Idly he traced his finger around the edge of his wine-glass while he coldly stared at her. A cruel smile twisted his lips as he acknowledged her shock. Suddenly Buffy was hit with a fist of desire so strong it should have brought her down to her knees. Tearing her gaze away from him she whispered to the waiter "Where's the bathroom?"

Pulling her hand back from the young man she murmured to her mother "I'll be back Mom." Blinking back a few tears she smiled and said "My mascara's really bothering me. See? It's irritating my eyes."

Nodding her mother waved and said "Take all the time you need."

Helpfully the handsome man offered "I can walk you over if you'd like-"

"No, that's okay. Just tell me where it is." Following his instructions Buffy walked towards the ladies room. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Angelus excuse himself from his table. Lowering her head she walked faster. This was a public place, he wouldn't start anything here. Whereas a few minutes ago she would've grudgingly brightened at seeing him, now she was sickly terrified.

He had seen them.

The last time Angelus had seen another man touch her, he put the guy in the hospital. And this was all before they slept together.

Now that they had been intimate...

Seeing the wide black door Buffy soon heard the click of shoes behind her. She almost broke into a run, she started moving that quickly. However, in the next instance she felt a cold hand grip her arm and pull her into the empty bathroom. The mens' bathroom. Briskly walking past the urinals, Angelus pushed open the ebony door of large stall and thrust Buffy in.

Calmly locking the door behind him, he leaned back against it and merely looked at her. Looking down she could see that the walls of the stall fully extended down to the floor just as the door did. They were completely enclosed in this tiny room.

Silently she watched him, praying for him to say something but all the wary of what he had to say. Finally after several moments of silence he said "Hello Miss Summers. Surprised to see me?"

Forcing herself to shrug she casually replied "Didn't know you liked Italian. Nice suit, never thought I'd see you in one."

Just as pleasantly he replied "Armani. Thank you my little bitch."

Buffy winced at his usuage of words. Quietly she asked "What are you going to do?"

"What am I going to do? About you or him?"

"Both" she miserably whispered.

"Hmmm...that is the question isn't it?" His black eyes impaled her with their fury while his face remained perfectly composed. He looked so immaculately clothed, not a single wrinkle nor a single strand of hair out of place. His beautiful voice was so gentle, so pleasant to the ear, not an ounce of anger to be heard.

But it was all a facade.

"I didn't do anything." He lifted one brow.

"You have no reason to be angry." He slowly shook his head in negation.

"If you're mad, then blame me but not him." A chilling light lit in his eyes before being banked.

"Angelus be reasonable. There's no reason for this." He lifted his arm up and brushed off an imaginary piece of lint.

"You make such a strong argument Slayer, really you do." Several moments passed again in silence before he finally stated "But still-you I'll take care of later. Him? I'll take care of now." Turning away from Buffy he made to unlock the door.

Clutching his arm, she quietly begged beyond pride "Please Angelus, please don't. He didn't know, please don't hurt him." A thrill of white-hot lust shot through Buffy as she touched him; her body roiled and trembled with its' own need, despite the gravity of the situation. Desperately she tried to focus on the present danger.

Contempt laced his voice as the facade finally cracked. Angelus raked her with his fierce gaze as he spat "You would beg for him? For that alone, he's mine."

Prying her fingers off his arm he went to open the door again. Flinging herself against his back she ferverently begged "Please don't! Please! I'll do anything!"

"Anything?"

"Anything you want, but please don't hurt him."

"Would you whore for him? Would you whore yourself to me, just to save him?" he disinterestedly asked.

Buffy closed her eyes, closing them against the cruelty of his expression and the cruelty of his words. "I'm not whoring myself, not for him, and not for you."

"Aren't you darling? You said you would do ANYTHING I wanted, if only I wouldn't hurt him. You're using your body to make me do what you want. Isn't that what a whore does?"

"I'm not a prostitute" she rigidly stated.

"I didn't call you a prostitute. I called you a whore. There's a world of difference between the two. A prostitute does what she does to survive, there's no interest in using herself for power. A whore does everything for power, not survival."

"I'm not using you for power."

Staring straight ahead he mockingly asked "Aren't you the Slayer? Can't you protect him yourself? Why are you offering me your body, if not for power?"

Shocked at the simplicity of his questions Buffy stumbled for words. _You can't stop him yet. You and he both know you can't. Whatever it takes Buffy, don't let him do this. Weren't you supposed to keep him in control by keeping the focus on you? No matter what, keep the focus on you. If it means he gets to call you a whore, then whatever._

It still didn't feel good. She hated the possibility that his words might be true. Inaudibly she mumbled "Please."

"C'mon Buff, don't humiliate yourself any more than you already have. Have some dignity" he boredly replied.

Pulling away from him, she gave him her back and sniffled as she tried to control the terror and mindless lust that threatened to overwhelm her. "You don't want that."

"What?" he asked with interest.

"You want me to humiliate myself. I understand that much about you."

"You don't understand a damn thing about me little girl." The carefully modulated tone disappeared, leaving his quietly hissed voice behind. "Look at me!" Warily she turned around, keeping her eyes on level with his chest. Angelus was far from satisfied. Digging his fingers into Buffy's arms he shook her once. "You just can't be trusted can you?"

Flinching from his fury, Buffy raised her eyes to his. "I don't understand what you mean."

His eyes were narrowed with seething rage as he mimicked " _I don't understand what you mean_. Don't you Buff? Then why are you crying?" Tears just continued to roll down her face as she silently stared up at him. "Still no answer? I guess I'll just have to elaborate, won't I?"

"Everytime I turn my back on you, what do I see? I see you being pawed by someone else."

"It wasn't like that" she forcefully stated through her tears.

"No? Are you denying that his hands were on you?"

"Jesus Angelus! My finger got cut-"

"Yes, I know. I could smell your blood across the room. But that's not all I could smell Buff. You know what else I smelled?"

Knowing the answer Buffy mutely shook her head. Humorlessly smiling Angelus dug his fingers even harder into her arms, making her wince. "You were hot for him, weren't you?"

"No" she whispered, dreading where his line of questioning was going.

"What was that? Was that a yes?" he shouted daring any to hear him.

"No!" she quietly hissed in an effort to keep his voice down. "Angelus, it's not what you think" she futilely tried to explain.

"Oh, I think I know exactly what it was like. Your mother seemed to think you liked him." Correctly reading the surprise on her face he explained " I could hear every word darling. Every word."

"Then you heard me tell her I wasn't interested in him. I wasn't-"

"You didn't sound so convincing Buff. Your mommy didn't believe you and neither do I." His tone of voice changed as he asked in dangerous softness "Tell me, did you imagine what it would be like to fuck him?"

Wrenching her arms out of his grip Buffy ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "I was NOT attracted to him! I WAS NOT thinking about sleeping with him!" Anger provoked her to bare herself and admit "I was thinking about you! YOU were the one I was wanting to BE with! Satisfied? Angelus-it was you, only you!"

Apparently he was because a deeply satisfied expression flitted across his face before disappearing. Taking a step towards Buffy, Angelus caught one of her hands. Fiercely he demanded "Where is it?"

Dazed by the change of topic Buffy asked in exasperation "Where's what?"

"Don't let your stupidity show again! Where is it?" he barked.

Recognition registered on her face at the same time that he held up his own hand. The ring. "When did you start wearing it?" she asked in disbelief.

A pitying smile touched his lips. "I've always been wearing it."

"No, you haven't...I would have noticed."

"Obviously not Slayer. I've never taken it off, unlike you."

Buffy reeled under this new knowledge. She never noticed that he still wore Angel's ring. Even when they were intimate she never noticed it. "I-I had to take it off."

"Why?"

"Because I don't have the right to wear it anymore." _Because I'm screwing you_. The unspoken words hung heavy in the air.

"You would cast me off as easily as you cast him off?" he mused softly.

"What?!" she asked in surprise, hating feeling the guilt he was creating. First it was an innocent encounter with a nice waiter and now this.

Hardening his voice he ordered "Put it back on Buff."

"Why would you even want me to? Don't you understand what it means?"

"I understand completely. I want to see it back on you." _To remind you every night of what you do with me, despite what you feel for him._

"I-"

Bringing her hand up Angelus accused "You would take off our ring but you would wear his band-aid?" Deliberately he tore the hapless strip off her finger.

"It's not OUR ring."

"Oh Buffy, Buffy, BUFFY!" the last word ending in a shout. Alarmed Buffy sharply _shushed_ him and placed her other hand over his mouth. The last thing she needed for someone to realize that a female was in the mens restroom and that female being her.

Calmly he removed her small hand from his face. "You still don't get it, do you? He and I share many things beyond this body, including you. If it pleases me to call it OUR ring, then it is OUR ring. And if it pleases me for you to wear that ring you WILL wear that ring. Yes?" he ended in a tone that left Buffy with no choice but to answer:

"Fine! I'll put it back on."

Dropping her hand he leaned back against the stall door again. "Good. When I see you tonight, I trust it will be on."

"Tonight?" she slowly asked, already quivering with desire at her future pleasures.

"Yes tonight. Remember- _Just be ready for me?_ Well, I hope you're ready because I want you tonight."

Before good judgement could stop her, she asked "Why didn't you come last night?"

"It's none of your business" he replied sharply.

Hurt she replied "Fine, it's none of my business. I expect you mind your own business too."

Chuckling he arrogantly noted "But Slayer-you are my business." Then softening his tone he said "Just expect to see me most nights until..." _I tire of you_ these unspoken words also hung heavily in the air.

"Right. Until..." Buffy's face was flushed with hurt and anger. No one had ever treated her like this. What was even more infuriating was the fact that she was putting up with it. _He holds too much over your head_ was her silent defense.

But was it her reason or her excuse?

Even now, after he called her a whore, after he left his hurtful words unsaid, she still wanted him. Badly. She wished she could feel him against her, IN her. But things were far more complicated than that. She couldn't be led around by her desires, not when things were left unfinished.

Coming back to her earlier concern she tautly asked "Then you'll leave him alone?" Buffy was willing to do anything to ensure the young man's safety. Whatever Angelus wanted of her was not too high a price to pay. If her pride had to suffer-so be it.

Ignoring her Angelus silkily asked "So you were thinking about me, hmm? Why should I believe you Buff? Why should I trust your words? It's obvious that you don't trust mine..."

"If you could smell me, then you have to know it was for you. Angelus, I...I hate feeling this way, I hate it..." Gritting her teeth she fiercely spat "I HATE it, but... I hate not having you more." Looking up into his face she softly whispered in wonder "That's why my body started feeling this way, isn't it? My body FELT you and I was calling to you, wasn't I? And last night, I felt this too. Where you out there?"

Angelus stood silent, an enigmatic smile playing on his lips.

"I need you Angelus. I don't understand why, but I do. Don't you want me too?"

Deliberately he raked her with his gaze from head to toe. A smirk crossed his face as he drawled "Maybe I do, but the question is: how do I know you're telling the truth?" _That's right darling, play into my hands...just a little further_

Falling into the role he created for her Buffy hesitantly stepped forward. "What can I do to make you believe me?"

Coldly smiling he stared into her upturned face; the small streaks of mascara only emphasizing the vulnerability of her eyes. _She's so beautiful, more than ever. Her beauty will be her downfall...and my curse._ Feeling the irrational anger twist his mind, Angelus needed to vent.

He needed to vent because her very presence was a taunt to his being. He had spent the entire night prowling. Prowling in his piece of Hell in the sky and prowling outside her home. Even then her scent had beckoned to him, subtlely dancing in his head until in his fury he had taken a long drive out of town and performed the favor of torture for an aquantaince.

It had taken the better half of a day to finally finish the bloody task and still he felt no better than he had the night before. In celebration of his success (the subject spilled its guts both literally and figuratively) he and his colleagues had been enjoying a festive dinner.

Yet still she beat a merry beat in his skull, in his loins.

When he had been notified of her mother's call to dine here, he had thought it would be amusing to observe the object of his obsession in normal surroundings. He had thought it would be rather droll to listen to her pure and infantile babble. He had arranged for their table to be taken out of a tiny corner and placed up where he could see all and not be seen in return.

Instead it had not been amusing at all.

Angelus, a demon who through out the years had seen beauty in all forms, enough so that he was almost immune to it other than wanting to possess it, had been taken aback. The small girl who had walked in was breathtaking. It was more than the flesh. It was impossible to grasp and even more impossible to describe, but it held him captive. Her awakening desire was a delicious temptation of innocence and sin.

It glowed dimly at first, quickly gaining strength in tandem with his own hunger. It was the same as when she had first awoken from her mysterious sleep. Her life force had been reaching across the room for him. Her scent filled his head until his every sip of wine had been a sip of Buffy.

It had not been droll.

Several of his dinner companions were drawn to her in their own ways. And each wanted to sample Buffy in their own unnatural way. Never overt, since it was not their way, the looks had been bland if not furtive. The sighs of interest could barely be heard, yet is was there all .

Angelus had felt the old stirrings of possessiveness and threat claw at him. She was not yet aware of her allure, but once she was, what then? How long would it be before she began exercising her new-found power? How long before he felt the madness burn him alive? She was dangerous to him, he knew it now and he knew it the moment he first set sight on her in Angel's apartment.

Yet still he wanted to exploit and destroy her danger, twisting it to suit his own desires.

He could not bear it and that made him furious..

He had been hard pressed to not snap the neck of one demon-companion when he boldly mentioned "How lovely that one is over there. It will take some time to tire of her to be sure. I want her. How much do you think her mother would take for her?"

The offer had firmly been declined after a few choice words from himself. "She is mine. Are we in accordance?" Obviously they were. No other comments were made from the offender wearing the guise of a middle-aged banker. However, the avidness permeated his every gesture when he glanced at the Summers' table.

He should have had their reservation declined.

Yet the siren Slayer was still not done with him.

The waiter wanted his toy and Angelus had never been one who could share well. She had smiled at HIM, a stranger whereas she never even lifted her lips in a grin for her lover. She had spoken to HIM in a voice full of softness whereas her voice was always brittle with him, unless he had her on her back...

The little shit thought he had a chance with Buffy. Angelus could hear him boast about the "hot blonde at table 20". The little puke would take the chance to get in her panties if she let him. Angelus would never let that happen. However, the big question being would she?

He needed to vent and vent he would.

In a flash Angelus had the lid down, himself seated, and Buffy straddled over his lap. Hungrily he nipped at the flesh of her neck and shoulder while her head fell forward to lean upon his crisp suit. He would brand her, mark her that she would never turn to another. And if she still did...

...he would methodically destroy her until not even a strand of hair was left to identify Buffy Summers.

Buffy was so heated, so incredibly aroused. The element of danger inflamed her senses: danger of a young man's life, danger of discovery, danger of being in his arms. Dimly her mind tried to fight through the haze of red lust, tried to remind her of her unfinished business. But soon her mind too slipped away, becoming just a body that needed her lover.

Buffy's dress was bunched at her waist, the tiny scrap of satin all that separated her from his touch. Aggression forced her to pull his head away from her shoulder, despite his warning growl, and press her lips against his. Her tongue boldly darted into his mouth as her hands unashamedly fumbled with his pants.

She let out a mewl of satisfaction once he was no longer bound. Thickly she murmured "What can I do to make you believe me?" Hungrily she rubbed herself against him, her breath catching in her throat

Grabbing her by the nape of her neck he squeezed until she moaned softly. Her eyes were held by his, the shifting shades of green and gold swirling in their depths. Her arousal increased as she watched his eyes in fascination. The blood in her body beat strongly, wildly drumming along, joyous in knowing he was there.

Without a word Angelus pushed Buffy off his lap and forced her down to her knees, his hand still on her nape. "I want you to really show me how much you want me Buff. I want to see your lovely mouth wrapped around me. Prove yourself to me lover..."

Buffy lowered her eyes in shame. Everytime she did this he only mocked and insulted her. He was only out for her humiliation once again. But what was even more shaming was the fact that she was still on fire for him. Even though she was on her knees in this public restroom, she was still enflamed for him.

"What are you waiting for darling? Silently comparing us? Wondering which one of us is bigger, hmm? Afterall, you seem awfully preoccupied babe." The pleasant tone was back again, correctly warning Buffy of Angelus' growing displeasure.

Laying her hands on his cloth covered knees, she took him within her mouth. She felt him release her neck only to dig his fingers into the back of her head. He did not push nor did he pull, but his hand was a silent reminder nonetheless. Swiftly her head bobbed up and down, her tongue swirling around the tip, gently flicking into the tiny opening.

A moan.

It was barely more than a stirring of air, but she heard it! Not daring to look up or even acknowledge it Buffy felt a spark of triumph flare within. He had moaned for her. Moving one hand from his knee, she wrapped it around his base and tightened. There it was again!

Softly returning his moan she began to lavish his cock in a way she never believed herself capable of doing. Female instinct took over as she licked, sucked, and nibbled on his strong, cool flesh. The outside world disappeared as she lavished Angelus with her mouth. The fact that her mother was in the same building lost its' importance. The fact that a young man's life still hung in the balance faded, not forgotten, but merely faded...

Angelus had moaned for her.

Buffy could sense his orgasm building. For a moment she felt a hesitancy at tasting him, but then it disappeared. She would prove to him how much she desired him. She would prove to him that her unwilling interest lay with him and no other.

Faster and faster she moved, her hand compensating for what her mouth could not take. Suddenly she heard the bathroom entrance open with a _SWOOSH_. The outside world made an abrupt appearance and reminded Buffy of its' presence. In response Buffy began to pull away from him only to have Angelus tighten his grip on the back of her head. She lifted her eyes to him, wanting to stop until the person went away.

Instead Angelus silently mouthed the words "Please me".

Her insides clenched with his disguised command. She suddenly realized that pleasing him was more important than anything else in the world. More important than the threat of discover, more important than any consequences could ever be. However, her newly breached innocence still made it difficult not to focus on the person on the other side of the wall...

The echo of the stranger's footsteps as he walked made Buffy tighten with apprehension even as her mouth continued its' wanted mission. The hiss of a zipper being lowered caused her to dig her fingers into his knee. She was sure that every suck, every lick of her mouth could be heard. Yet still she eagerly tasted and laved him with her tongue and her lips.

Angelus understood the reasons for his Slayer's apprehension but simply did not care enough to stop. Her mouth and her conflicting emotions were too sweet for him to pass up. Let her wonder if they could be heard. Even as the sound of the stranger relieving himself broke the silence of the bathroom, covering any noise they might be making, he could feel the tension radiating from Buffy.

And the lust shaded with a hint of fear. Fear of what? Fear of being discovered or fear of what he still might do? _Let her wonder. I'm still far from being done with her..._

As his release began Angelus could have shouted his pleasure, mortifying Buffy and causing the stranger to wonder in sick fascination who was the in the stall. Instead he chose to press her face against him, silently giving himself to the moment. Angelus realized this was the first time she would have the taste of cum in her mouth and he only hoped she, in her maidenly sensibilities, didn't vomit all over his suit.

But if she did-well he would be all that was gracious. Understanding and forgiving before doling out a little punishment later.

Instead Buffy surprised him. As his fluids rushed into her mouth, he felt her give a little start before clamping down her lips around him. The stranger zipped up his pants and walked to the row of sinks, releasing a stream of water. The power of that stream could not have been stronger than that of Angelus' seed as he spurted into her hot mouth.

Buffy could feel the splash of cool liquid hit the back of her throat. She shuddered as her stomach reflexively heaved before forcing herself to accept Angelus, all of him. She could still hear the man washing his hands, pushing on the soap dispenser several times, before finally turning off the water.

The squeak of a paper towel being rolled echoed in her ears, the explosive rip of tearing paper a soothing noise to Buffy's oversensitive nerves. The stranger would be gone soon, taking with him the outside world and still Buffy continued to swallow her lover, making him a part of her.

The click of the stranger's sounded thtoughout the room before the _SWOOSH_ of the opening door closed him off from the two sinning lovers. Feeling the tension ease from her shoulders, Buffy completely focused on the taste of Angelus and the way he felt in her mouth.

Finally she released him, her lips automatically kissing the dark curls peeping through the open seam of his pants. Silently she laid her head on his thigh, waiting for the derisive words. Buffy rested on the cold white tiles in a restaurant that her mother took her, wearing a dress that her father bought her, while the outside world lay twenty feet away.

She could taste him on her tongue, she could taste him with every swallow. She had given her first complete blow-job, she had done what she never thought she could do: swallow cum.

How many times in the past had she tittered and gasped with her junior high friends over this subject? _Eww! Gross! How can anyone ever do that? Do you think you'll ever do that? Me? No, no, like ewww! I'd never do that-not even when I get married!_

Would he be pleased with her? Did she prove herself to him? Buffy simply did not know. Breathing deeply she closed her eyes and thought _No matter what he says, I know he moaned for me. BECAUSE of me._

He moaned for her.

What she also knew that her body ached, it pulsed and drummed a terrible rhythm within her. Her neck, her veins throbbed as fiercely as the flesh between her thighs did. She felt lacking, a joining that was incomplete.

Her body wept its' silent tears, coating her panties with her desire.

Softly moaning Buffy opened her eyes and stared at the wall in front of her. She hoped that he would do something to aleve her need soon. He knew how she hungry she was, he could not be so cruel to leave her, could he?

Of course Angelus could be that cruel.

When she heard him zip up his pants, she gritted her teeth in frustration. Piercing tears of need leaked from her eyes when he stood up, neatly dislodging her head.

"You have the makings to make a marvelous whore darling. Definitely worth your weight in gold..."

Buffy's heart twisted with pain, while her body lurched with unfulfilled desire. Damn him! She had abused her pride one too many times tonight, she would not do so again. Her blood shrieked and boiled, trying bend her to its' will. _Beg him! What difference does it make?! Who are you going to be fooling with this act?_

Maybe no one, but there was only so much she could take right now.

Lifting her head she slowly rose from her position on the floor, reached around him, and slid open the lock. Pushing the door open with her fingertips, she tried to avoid all contact with his body as she walked past him.

His low chuckle sent waves of anger through her, but she continued to hold her head high as she walked towards the exit. Coldly she said "No wonder you couldn't keep anybody Angelus, you treat everyone like shit." Turning around she speared him with her furious gaze "I'll beat you. Maybe not now, but I WILL do it. You won't always win Angelus: one day I WILL walk away from you forever."

 _You'll pay for that little comment of yours Buff. Attacking me at the heart of my insecurities-for shame Slayer!_ Moving with his new speed, Angelus was in front of her before she could blink. Surprise dimmed the fury in her eyes, but only slightly. Gently stroking the side of her cheek with one finger Angelus murmured "You may walk away but you'll ending up crawling back to me darling. They always do."

Buffy's eyes narrowed in outrage while she opened up her mouth to deny his words. He lightly slapped her face and harshly said, "Do not say a word lover or I'll rip your young friend's spine out before you can even reach the door."

Satisfied by her silence he gently took her by the shoulders and turned her towards the line of mirrors. Softly he advised "You should do something with your face and dress Buff. Your mommy will take one look at you and know what you were up to. We don't want to give her the wrong impression, do we?"

"Always thinking of others Angel?" she sarcastically questioned.

Angelus' jaw clenched with fury, but still he carefully smoothed her hair. _You will definitely pay for that tonight my little whore_. Calmly he reached around her to the sink and washed her hands carefully, taking time with each digit. "Stay here." Shaking his hands free of the warm water droplets, he walked over to a dispenser, and unrolled a length of towel. Coming back to Buffy he gently dried her hands.

Turning her around he brought up the towel to her lips. Slowly he wiped her mouth free of his passion and the remnants of her lipstick. Still keeping his gaze level with hers, he brought the towel up and wiped his own mouth free of her.

Balling up the paper Angelus shot it into the basket without looking away from her. Lightly he said, "There, just as pure as before." Leaning forward until he was mere inches away from her lips he whispered, "Only you and I will know that I had my cock shoved deep in your mouth."

Gasping Buffy's face colored with shock and embarrassment. He could lull her with his odd gentleness before blowing it all to Hell with his crudeness. Balling up her fists she fought with the urge to strike out at him. His voice still as pleasant as before warned, "I wouldn't do anything rash if I were you lover. I've been in a mellow mood so far, don't fuck it up."

Mellow? He called this mellow? Softly cursing she relaxed her hands. Curtly she said, "I don't think I'll be good company tonight, but hey! It's your night, right?"

His eyes remained as cold as ever even while his lips turned upwards into a smile. "That it is Slayer, that it is." Smoothing his shirt front he asked "Would you like me to take you back to your mommy?"

"I can find my own way, thanks." Swinging back to the door she stalked out of the room, her steps softly muted before echoing in the next room. Shrugging Angelus brought his hands up to his hair. Only a few strands had been pushed from their original position, and easy enough to fix. He could hear Buffy in the next bathroom as she answered her call of nature.

He could hear her movements as well as her curses. She was horny, frustrated, and furious. _Tough shit baby, so am I_. He had vented but he was far from satisfied.

A chilling smile touched his lips as he thought of another way to vent his fury. That Slayer just didn't know when to let it go, did she? She just HAD to call him Angel...

Walking out of the bathroom, he caught sight of Buffy's would-be-lover hovering nearby. Clamping down on an instinctive surge of violence, he thought _First things first my boy._ Strolling past his enemy, Angelus put on his most charming smile and made his way to Buffy's mother. "Hello Mrs. Summers. Do you remember me? I'm Buffy's tutor..."


	19. Chapter 19

Climbing out of her window Buffy cautiously looked about her before dangling from the roof and landing on the ground without the slightest noise. Her mother had been asleep for the past hour, and most likely not to awake anytime before noon tomorrow, so she was free to meet Angelus. To be on the safe side though, Buffy padded several pillows under the covers and only hoped that if anything, her mother would just poke her head in and not notice the lumpy shape that was supposed to be her.

If not-"Buuuffy! You gots some 'splaining to do!"

Quickly she strode towards Sunnydale's downtown district. The tips of her ears were burning as she made her way towards Angelus'. This would be the first time that she went to him and it made her feel...icky. And not in a good way. But then again, was there ever a good way?

Thinking back to dinner she felt her entire face flush. To think that she had actually done that in the bathroom! And liked it too, at least until it was over. Crossing the street she jumped up onto the sidewalk, before slowing her steps. But if she had been shocked by their illicit activities, then she was completely blown away a few minutes later.

 _Coming out of the bathroom Buffy calmly walked down the hallway, pushing the events of the last ten minutes from her mind. She had be clear, focused, and most of all INNOCENT around her mother. By no means could she betray the fact that she had been on her knees in the mens bathroom with a man old enough to be grandfather at least four times over._ _ **Euw! Thinking of it like that is too disgusting!**_

 _As she cleared the doorway, the young waiter was there by her side. "Are you okay? Did you get your make-up fixed?"_

 _Pasting a smile on her face Buffy inwardly groaned._ _ **I'm the last person you should be talking to.**_ _"I'm okay, thanks. It's just this mascara that was buggin' me, that's all."_

" _I can walk you over to your table..." he tactfully noted, the earnestness of his emotions an undertone to his politeness._

 _Scanning the room she looked for Angelus but did not see him anywhere._ _ **Where is he?**_ _Glancing back at the young man Buffy shook her head and murmured "I'm pretty sure you're really busy here. I don't want to take up a lot of your time-"_

" _It's what I'm here for, it's not a problem!"" he assured her, his arm reaching for hers._

 _Buffy neatly stepped to the side, avoiding his touch, while she firmly declined "No thanks. I'll be okay." With that she walked back towards her table. He probably thought her rude but it was better that than him not being able to think at all. As she rounded the corner she abruptly stopped. There was Angelus-sitting with her mother!_

 _Buffy's first reaction was one of panic._ _ **Is it telling her what we did?! What I did?! He wouldn't be that stupid! But he'd be that spiteful! Oh God! How do I explain this?**_ _At any moment she expected her mother to either dump her wine over his head or stand up screaming her name like a enraged lunatic. Grabbing hold of herself Buffy rethought the situation._ _ **No, it would be too easy if he did that. Angelus wants to drag this out. He knows I'll be freakin' out once I see him. I'm not gonna give him the satisfaction of knowing he was right!**_

 _Focusing her gaze back upon the table she began to see things in a different and unnerving light. The two were obviously having a pleasant conversation. Her mother was leaning forward, a brilliant smile on her face. She was idly playing with her winestem while completely engrossed with whatever Angelus was saying. There was even a slight blush on her mother's cheeks, softening her skin with a glow much like that of a younger woman._

 _Immediately Buffy felt a frisson of irritation and threat. She wasn't attracted to him, was she?_ _ **She better not be or else-**_ _Mentally shaking her head Buffy reined in her wayward thoughts. It was her mother for crying out loud!_ _ **You know-good old Mom? The one who bakes cookies every now and then. The one who is, you know, a MOM! She probably doesn't even look at men anymore.**_ _Besides, for all her mother knew, Angelus was way too young for her._

 _But still, Buffy didn't quite trust it. She better keep an eye out, just in case. Although it was Angelus she didn't trust, because, well-her mom just didn't do that stuff anymore! And he was obviously angling for something, there was no doubt about that. The question being: what was he after now?_

 _Taking a calming breath Buffy prepared herself for whatever game Angelus was playing._ _ **He wants to play games, fine by me. He won't win so easily this time.**_ _she silently swore. Her determination was great even though her body desperately worked against her. Again. Her inner Eve had not wasted one moment before silently rejoicing at seeing her lover again._

 _Never mind the fact that he had left her unsatisfied. Never mind the fact that he had insulted her by calling her a whore. Never mind that his sole purpose had been to humiliate her. Her body simply did not care._

 _However, Buffy did._

 _Casually she strolled to the table just as both occupants broke out into laughter. Seeing her daughter Joyce held a hand to her chest as she gasped "H-Hi honey, I'm sure you know Angel. He stopped by to say hi. Did you get your problem fixed?"_

 _Before Buffy could answer Angelus stood up and queried "Problem? I surely hope not."_

 _Turning towards him Joyce answered "She had a problem with her eyes watering. It was her mascara-what we women do to look our best!" At the end of her statement she girlishly giggled, her gaze becoming unfocused for a moment. Looking back at Buffy she straightened in her chair and waved her towards her seat. "Our main course just got here Buffy, so it's still hot. I tried to convince your tutor here to eat with us but..."_

 _Charmingly he said "I just ate, if I had known you would be here I would've gladly taken dinner with you both." Fixing his false smile Angelus warmly said "Hello Buffy. I hope you've been studying your lessons. I'd hate to see you literally on your knees again from frustration, we worked so HARD our last session."_

 _ **Ooh you sneaky slime!**_

 _ **That's the way of it darling. Hate me with your eyes, it makes this all the more fun.**_

 _Lifting her lips in an equally faux grin she brightly said "How could I forget? You went out of your way to explain the feudal system to me. But I'm sure I'll score when it really counts. On the tests that is."_

" _Preparation is the key Buffy. Over-confidence will make you slip up and then-all your good intentions go out the_ _ **windows**_ _." he softly countered._

 _ **Ha. Ha. Good one lover.**_

" _I don't think I'll forget the difference between a serf and a slave." Glancing back at her mother she noted "I think my favorite part was the chapter on the uprisings. Rather bloody, but then again, that is the way of war."_

 _ **Catch my drift Angelus DEAR?**_

 _ **War. My favorite pastime. I grant you this point darling. But the question is this: can you defend yourself while underseige?**_

 _Smoothly Angelus pulled Buffy's chair back, awaiting for her to seat herself. Staring straight ahead she politely thanked him while plotting her strategy. Unfortunately she had never really been any good at games. She never won in bingo, always busted in blackjack, poker-ha! forget about it. Games-no she had never been a champion, but she sure as hell was going to try!_

 _However, Angelus loved playing games. It made his unlife more than a mundane existence of feeding. He never lost. Despite her previous promise of victory, Buffy knew that if she was ever going to win, she had better learn to play catch-up. Quick._

 _And being the master that he was, Angelus wasted no time in playing and winning the next move._

 _After pushing Buffy's chair in, he discreetly trailed his finger down her back before moving to the other side of the table. It was only with extreme determination that she had held herself perfectly still. Outwardly she appeared almost negligent about her "tutor's" presence. On the inside-she had turned into pure liquid warmth._

 _While his expression never registered her reaction, his eyes wickedly danced in dark merriment. Ever so slightly Angelus allowed his nostrils to flare before touching the tip of his tongue to his lips. Her mother never noticed._

 _But as intended, Buffy did._

 _Attributing the slight stiffness from Buffy as the natural reaction between tutor and pupil, Joyce brightly chattered about everything. About Buffy, about history, about her dropping grades in math (briefly looking at her daughter with a stern look in her eyes), and about her own work in art, before directing the conversation to Angelus. "So Angel, when do you graduate? Buffy did mention that you attend the local college."_

 _Congenially smiling (a smile that never reached his eyes, but only Buffy noticed) he apologetically clarified "Well actually Mrs. Summers, I'm not a student."_

 _Frowning in confusion Joyce looked between the two of them before asking "You're not? I'm sorry, but I thought Buffy said you were in school."_

" _I do take classes," when he glanced at Buffy briefly, she could see a mocking gleam. "But I only take them for pure enjoyment. I'm a lover of knowledge in all forms."_

 _ **Most especially your daughter.**_

 _ **You didn't get away with that you pig! Lover of knowledge-ha!**_

" _Ah, I see. So what do you do?" her mother prodded_

" _Yeah Angel, what do you do?" Buffy subtlely goaded._

" _You mean you don't know Buffy?" Joyce quizzed._

 _His mouth tightened at hearing his lover call him by his rival's name. "No actually she doesn't. I try to keep everything strictly academic, not very much chit-chat, but more on the instructive level."_

 _ **Like instructing her how to keep her goddamned mouth shut unless it's to say MY name.**_

 _Leaning back slightly he casually stated "Life's been good to me, my...ancestors...were shrewd with their wealth and because of that I've been able to dabble here and there."_

" _So you don't actually have a job?" Joyce noted, a hint of dismay in her voice._

 _ **That's right Mom, he's a bum. A worthless demon bum. No job, no career, nada. But why do you care? He's just my "tutor" as far as you know. What difference does it make? What? Are you sizing him up for yourself Mother-Dear?**_

 _ **Careful Buff-your jealousy is showing. To think that you're threatened by your own mother! Don't you believe in the bond of your familial love?**_

 _Flashing a devastating grin that swept both women he enthusiastically replied "But Mrs. Summers I DO have a job-teaching your daughter all she needs to know. About history that is."_

 _ **It might be fun to turn you both against each other. Mother and Daughter fighting over little humble me. Hmmm...maybe...**_

 _Back and forth it went. For every sentence she spoke he had one to counter it. Nothing every overly lewd, but he made sure she knew EXACTLY what he meant. And did she know. At first the persistent desire she felt for him was enough to keep her preoccupied-in order to keep it under control. All he had to do was flash her a look, a grin, a subtle rub of his leg against hers and she was on the verge of collapse, at least on the inside._

 _But as the time went on, she felt less and less amorous and more and more infuriated. While he wasn't outrightly flirting with her mother, he made sure she received a few appreciative glances and a touch or two on the hand. As far as her mother could see, he only looked at Buffy as one would look at a child-friendly yet uninterested. The more he treated her as a child, the more sullen she behaved._

 _Was this more for her benefit or her mother's?_

 _ **Damn bastard! He comes into this restaurant, wrecks my whole dinner-which I can't eat since it would be rude to eat in front of him, and now he's giving out the "I'm available if you are" vibes to my own MOTHER!. And to top if all off, my mother is playing right into it!**_ _As her anger began to take control, even her blood could not hold it's boilings for more than a few seconds._

 _Anger. What an intensely satisfying emotion to hide behind. How could she have ever forgotten?_

 _At this point Buffy grew tired of his innuendoes, she grew tired of her mother's silly smile, she just grew tired of it all and had simply told Angelus to go away. In very short terms._

 _Of course her mother had been embarrassed, apologetic, and extremely irritated all at once. She had apologized to Angelus profusely, hoping to make up for her daughter's rudeness. Of course he was picture of understanding, saying all the right things: "No, that's alright. I understand. She's just had a long day and probably doesn't want to be around her stuffy old tutor."_

" _Old? You're hardly old!" she exclaimed while brushing her hand against his. Oh-so-casually Joyce asked "Just how old are you?"_

 _A hard glint flashing in her eyes Buffy silently dared him to tell the truth._ _ **What are you going to say lover? Twenty? Twenty-two? Or two-hundred and forty-two or is it three?**_

" _Actually I'm twenty-seven." he modestly replied, a devilish twinkle in his own eyes._ _ **Who says women are the only ones self-conscious about their ages?**_

 _Her mother let out a light, tinkling laugh which was very similar to Buffy' s. Incredulously she slanted a disgusted glance at her mother. She never heard her mom laugh like that._ _ **I can't fucking believe this! My mother has the hots for my boyfriend! I mean ex-boyfriend...oh whatever-the guy I'm SCREWING. He's MY tutor and she has the hots for him. I can fucking feel it! That SLUT!**_

 _Before Angelus could say anything more, Buffy turned to her mother and curtly said "I'm not feeling well. Can we leave now?"_

 _The ride home had not gone well at all. Her mother just kept prodding as to why she was being so disagreeable. Buffy just kept staring straight ahead, refusing to answer with anything other than a curt "Yes" or "No". At one point Buffy had almost come out and told her, before clamping down even further. She couldn't say one thing without having to say it all. So instead she stuffed her feelings down inside-something she was getting very used to._

Kicking a rock out of her path Buffy felt very alone. Just that afternoon she felt that her mother was her last defense against the world. Against Angelus. And now he had taken that from her. Angrily wiping her eyes she knew she couldn't blame her mom for finding him attractive. Hell, you'd have to be deaf, blind, and dumb not to know it, but still...

It just didn't feel right. She just never thought her mom would ever look at anyone in her life like that. Didn't she know that guys associated to her, no matter their position, were off limits?

It was one of the cardinal rules that got passed along with how to feed and change your newborn baby girl: _You see this is how you hold her head and always make sure you hold the bottle like this so that she doesn't swallow air. Yes, that's it. Now always make sure you wipe her from top to bottom. You're doing great! Now this is the most important part, no not how to burp her, but this: You NEVER, EVER look at her boyfriend or ex-boyfriend, or tutor! Especially her tutor!_

Although Buffy was hardly experienced, she had learned enough this weekend to see the light of interest in her mother's eyes. She learned enough to read her mother's fidgeting and laughter as more than just politeness.

And above all-she knew Angelus had read everything and more.

Now there was a barrier between them. Her mother might never notice it, but it was there nonetheless. Was there nothing in her life that he could not somehow soil? _Man, chick-this just isn't your weekend, is it? First it's sex with your enemy, then it's the disease of almost being turned-which, by the way, you're taking with way too much ease. You need to do something about that. Okay, then public acts of lewdness and now you're mom wants your demon lover._

Walking past the church Buffy briefly thought about going in before changing her mind. Even though she had found some peace yesterday, religion would do nothing for her now. She had made her choices. Walking along she saw a couple sitting in their car, locked in a passionate embrace. Her steps significantly slowed as she watched them. Her vision sharpened until she could see the fine hairs on the young man's cheeks and the smudged lipstick on the young woman's lower lip.

Buffy felt a sharp prick of envy and helpless wonder as she watched them greedily touch and kiss each other.

The emotions of love and lust between the two were so powerful, so strong. Pulling away from each other periodically, they whispered words of love that Buffy could hear as clearly as if they were whispered to her. _I love you so much...I can't live without you...I need you so much..._

But no one would whisper those words to her anymore. The depth of their young love communicated itself to the Slayer, making her yearn for another taste of the elusive emotion.

She had known it once.

She had tasted it briefly, never having a chance to engorge herself in it. She and Angel never had a chance. They had really only had a scattering of hours before it all got snatched away. Tearing her melancholy gaze away from the fevered couple, she hardened her mouth into a tight line. Looking up she saw Angelus' building ahead of her. Angelus the Scourge of Europe. He had destroyed and ravaged for almost two centuries and now he was here. Presumably to make up for lost time.

And she was going to him.

Briskly she forced her feet to continue on their self-destructive path. Reaching the glass doors she tugged at one before realizing it was locked. A glimmer of hope flared in her breast. Maybe she wouldn't have to see him tonight. Afterall, she did try but if the doors were locked...

Looking through the glass she saw an older man dozing at the desk. Recognizing him as one of the men who saw her the other day in the lobby, Buffy made to turn around. She didn't want him to see her again, it would just be too embarrassing. Her ears perked up when she heard the low hum of the phone. She didn't have to hear the words of the man as he jumped up and answered it.

Angelus was on the line. He knew she was here.

Squaring her shoulders she waited while the man came to the door and unlocked it. Apologetically he murmured "I'm sorry to keep you waiting out there miss. I swear I didn't even see you!"

Gently smiling she assured him. "It's okay, I just got here."

"Mr. Gryphon said to just come on up. He said you have the code."

"Thank you." Walking towards the elevator Buffy wondered if she really saw apprehension in his faded blue eyes or it was all in her head. Pushing the button she stepped in and waited for the doors to close. Once closed off she pressed the ornate "P" and then punched in the code once the keypad slid open.

Buffy's hands grew clammy as she wondered what would happen once she stepped out into his lair. He had promised to take care of her later. She knew he wouldn't forget, so just what was she in for?

As the door slid open the site that greeted her eyes was definitely not what she expected. Immediately her senses became overwhelmed by the laughter, the smoke, the music, and the buzzing of countless voices. Stepping out of the elevator Buffy saw several people milling in the large entryway. Looking about she observed people laughing and conversing in small groups. As she passed them, the strangers coolly glanced at her before diverting their attention elsewhere.

 _What? Do I look that out of place here?_

Two young women sensuously danced with each other in the middle of the room. Both were tall and nubile and seemingly unaware of everyone else. Their bare feet moved on top of the tiled griffon, while their long gauzy skirts flashed glimpses of their fit and supple legs. Their light, curly hair floated in the air as they softly caressed each other. It was obvious they were lovers.

As Buffy slowly walked by them, she couldn't help but feel another infernal flush creep up. This was the first time she had ever seen women _together_. On one hand, she wanted to pretend that she never saw one touch the other on her breast. On the other hand, she couldn't help but want to watch. It was all so...

...different.

For a moment both women stopped their heated movements, turning to look at Buffy. Her steps involuntarily froze, she could not have moved even if someone yelled "Fire!". Intently they peered at her, running their vivid green gazes up and down her body. Buffy's flush grew brighter and her breathing uncomfortably quickened. Her temporary paralysis melted away, leaving her feeling much like a commodity.

Their slim hands began caressing each other again, teasingly, as the two women thoroughly inspected Buffy. Without any movement on their part they made her feel as if she had just been stripped completely naked. In defense she crossed her arms over her chest and said "Jeez! Did you get enough to look at?" The two women then let low chuckles of amusement before passionately kissing each other, effectively dismissing Buffy from their own world.

Quickly walking away Buffy felt disturbed that they had that affect on her. She had never been attracted to women and she wasn't really sure if she was attracted now, but there was something so compelling about the two. Frightening and attractive. Strange...

Climbing up the stairs she noticed that the remains of Angelus' doors had been taken down. Now it was simply an open archway-one that was filled with many bodies. Politely nudging her way through she wondered why he even wanted her here. It was obvious he wasn't lonely. Picking her way down the stairs she stepped aside one seated couple after another.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs she casually looked around the room. People of all ages were everywhere. By the windows, along the walls, on the chairs and couches. Even his dining table was filled-a couple of women were lounging on its' veneered surface while several men sat in the massive, intricately carved chairs.

Amazingly it wasn't packed because of the size of the room, but there were still an incredible amount of people. Buffy finally gave up counting after seventy-five. In all this crush she felt lost. Where was he? She could feel him, but then again she couldn't. It was as if she were trying to pinpoint one signal in a sector filled with hundreds.

Wearily she rubbed her temples. It was so overwhelming. The noises in her head came and went. At times she couldn't hear anything and then suddenly she was flooded with ten different conversations all at once. Suddenly someone bumped into her, jostling her from the flood. Looking up Buffy absently murmured "Sorry", thankful that the noise receeded. An older man dressed in a dark blue suit stopped and murmured " _Pardon ma belle._ "

Expecting him to move on she was surprised that he had stopped. _Wow, he looks like a banker with that suit, what would he be doing here? And he speaks French too..._ Buffy thought as she said "It's okay. I'm sorry but my french is _tres mal_."

Charmingly the man bent over her hand and lightly brushed his lips against it. In a delightfully accented voice he replied "A beautiful woman need not have any trouble communicating to the lesser of the two genders. She need but smile like you and all is inconsequential."

 _Pick-up line or what?_ Even so, it was definitely a change from the _Hey baby, blah, blah, blah_. Softly smiling she looked up into his eyes. What she saw there made Buffy inwardly draw back. While his manners were nice and even his appearance was pleasing, there was a deadness within the crystalline depths. It was as if there was absolutely nothing there: no fear, no love, no hate. Nothing. Even the demons she had encountered hadn't been this dead. Watching the man's lips move, she heard him ask "Would you like a drink _ma belle_?"

Stammering Buffy answered "N-no. I'm m-meeting someone. Thanks", eager to put distance between herself and the french banker type. Before he could say another word she plunged her way through the shifting crowd, confident that the man would not bother following her. That would require emotion, something she was sure he did not have.

Soon Buffy forgot the strange man in the reality that surrounded her. Everywhere she looked someone was drinking, smoking, or snorting. Some did all three. Buffy felt horribly uncomfortable. Regardless of being a teenager, she hardly had the one-way pass to hard partying. The most she had ever done was drink one beer and even that made her sick. She had never even seen coke in person, nor had she ever seen someone snort it off of a woman's thigh.

Just say no people.

Coming further into the room she listened to the music playing in the background. It had a throbbing pulse with an overlay of a husky french woman's voice. She liked it, it was never anything she ever heard at the Bronze. Angelus and techno, who would have ever thought it?

Her musings were broken when a high-pitched laugh from far away echoed in her ear. Following the sound Buffy saw a stunning woman sitting on the lap of a handsome, muscular young man. They were striking and simply pleasurable to look at. The two looked like they could have hopped right off the cover of a fashion magazine.

The woman idly played with a long, luminous string of pearls while her ebony blunt-cut hair gently swayed with every movement. As she bent closer to her companion, the tips brushed against her beautiful cheek bones, emphasizing the delicate pallor of her skin. Her equally stunning blond, GQ model rubbed his broad hand against her bare thigh while he whispered naughty things in her ear.

Buffy's mouth went a little dry at seeing the two so obviously aroused. They reminded her of how erotic the male and female body could be together. Mesmerized her gaze lingered on the constant motion of his hand on the smooth, white thigh. Flashes of heat touched her, making her wish that Angelus was right there by her side. Unwillingly Buffy's hearing sharpened until she could hear the golden man huskily promise to "Fuck you in the ass until you come..."

Letting out a small squeal Buffy blindly looked elsewhere. Rapidly her feet moved away until their conversation became lost in the party's. His words repeated over and over in her mind. _Fuck you in the ass...Fuck you in the ass...Fuck you in the ass..._ Buffy was scandalized and horribly curious. She couldn't believe that straight people did _that_. And what she couldn't believe on top of _that_ was that the dark haired woman liked it! Her parting words were a husky "Do you promise?"

Buffy just never knew that a man and a woman did that, she just naively thought men did that with each other. Apparently not just men-now she knew it for sure.

It frightened her. Not the act itself, but the fact that she was intrigued...

The crowd parted and swelled, enveloping Buffy with each shift. Aimlessly she wandered around, taking it all in and feeling more and more uneasy. Everywhere she looked she saw a mixture of beautiful people dressed in beautiful clothing. Not all where beauties in the classic sense, but in every person she looked at, there was some elusive yet alluring quality. Even in those that would be deemed ugly, there was a certain fascination that still held the eye.

Looking down at her own clothes Buffy felt horribly awkward. She wore black jogging pants, a dark blue tank top-all covered with a dark blue nylon jacket. Her careless ponytail seemed to sag with each second while she wistfully observed a head with lovely curled hair. While no one seemed to give her any particular attention, at times she felt as if a million eyes were boring into the back of her. Everytime she turned around-no one was watching. She tried to shake it off as nerves, but she wasn't so sure.

The more time she spent here, the more she knew she was well out of her league. This wasn't a _hey my parents are out of town_ high school party nor was it even a _party till we puke_ frat party. Compared to this, those were pretty tame. On the outside maybe not, but in the midst it all, there was an undercurrent that made Buffy feel as if the whole room shared a joke, and she wasn't in on it.

Maybe she was the joke.

The drugs were harder, the drink was liquor not beer, and the vibe was of bored sophistication. These people had done it all and had probably invented a few things on their own. Rubbing her arms she thought _I guess this is how Europeans party._ Somehow her little quip lacked the lightheartedness.

Scanning the room she did not see Angelus. In the midst of all these people, Buffy felt lonely and lost. Biting her lip she fiercely missed Angel. He would never associate with these cold people, much less have a party with them, nor would he live in a mausoleum like this.

They would be patrolling together or maybe even relaxing in his apartment. He would be sitting across the table from her, being the perfect host and offering her tea. Her lips twisted in a sad smile as she thought _I hate tea. I never had the heart to tell him._

Nonetheless, Buffy always drank it all. He made it for her and that was all the reason she needed. She missed his own awkwardness. She missed the shy smile he would sometimes flash her. Angel was safe. Safe. He helped make her world safe. He always tried to take care of her, even if she didn't want him to. She wished she had let him do it more often. Now she had no one to take care of her. No one to save her from him.

Night and day. Good and evil.

Angel liked spending one-on-one time. He liked being on the edge of a crowd, not in the middle of one. Angel wore simple clothes, nothing too flashy and nothing that cost more than her mom's mortgage. And certainly never Armani. Angelus on the other hand...

The crowd shifted for a moment when she finally saw the fallen one. Angelus was standing near the fireplace, under the life-size ballerina, obviously being amused if the smirk was any indication. His jacket and tie had been discarded, leaving him only in his shirt and pants. The gleaming white shirt was open at the throat, exposing the smooth, perfect skin underneath. His hair was slightly disheveled, with a couple of strands falling to brush against his forehead.

Buffy's body immediately went into the familiar overdrive. A pain coursed and stung each of her pulse points, while her blood riotously began chanting for him. Her mouth went dry as her eyes feasted upon his dark beauty. He was the epitomy of masculine beauty: graceful, sleek and deadly. Despite her better judgement she would have crossed the room for him, pushing her way past countless bodies, in order to be with him.

However he wasn't alone and that, only that, stopped her from making a fool out of herself.

In one hand Angelus held a cut-crystal glass, the deep amber of the drink occassionally flaring in the firelight. The other hand was casually draped across the shoulder of a petite asian woman. The lovely creature was even shorter than Buffy, her tiny height emphasized by Angelus' broadness and height. Her skin glowed with a luminescent beauty against the strapless scarlet gown she wore. The occasional smile revealed perfect teeth and the hand that she placed on Angelus' glass showed gorgeous manicured nails. Without complaint he relinquished the glass to the woman.

Looking down Buffy glanced at her own short nails. The nailpolish she applied was already chipped in a few spots. Compared to HERS', they definitely had the look of an amateur home-job. Shoving her hands in her jacket pockets, Buffy instantly hated the woman. _BITCH!_ Just as quickly her animosity fled. Why should she be angry with her? After all it was Angelus who was allowing her to drink out of his glass, it was Angelus who had his arm around her, it was Angelus who...

As she watched, Buffy felt a sickness twist and rend her stomach. Why should she care who he touched? Why should she care that he had just taken that woman's lips to his own and obviously stuck his tongue down her throat? It wasn't like he was her boyfriend. But then:

So what?!

 _He's still mine! I don't want him being with someone else while he's with me. Screw that! I don't want him with anyone ever! He's supposed to just want me..._ Turning away Buffy fought to control the desolation that suffocated her as she recognized the possessiveness she felt for Angelus.

 _It's not supposed to be this way. Oh my God, it hurts. It HURTS._

It did hurt. It hurt seeing him with someone else. _No one does that to me. No one._ The anger sparked and flared within her breast, drowning out the pain, but not the sorrow. Shouldering her way through the crowd Buffy fled up the stairs, tears blurring her keen vision. Ignoring the speculative glances as she made way to the elevator.

 _I never, EVER want to see him again! It's not enough that he got me on my knees for him, he let my mom flirt with him, he orders me to come here, and for what? To show off that he found someone else?_ Fleeing to the entrance she repeatedly pushed the elevator button. Impatiently she waited for the keypad to open. The silver surface finally slid open with a hiss.

She had only punched in the first two numbers before she felt a hand close over hers. "Leaving so soon darling? You just got here..." Buffy could feel a pair of legs brush against the back of her thighs, while an arm encircled her waist. Closing her eyes, for the briefest moment, she felt him gently kiss the back of her neck. For a moment, a tiny moment, her body arched against his, the pleasure she felt a highly visible thing. Then she remembered.

Wrenching away from him she turned around to face him before spatting "Don't touch me!"

"Too little, too late since I've touched you everywhere lover. Well, almost everywhere..." he drawled.

"Go to hell and stay there next time" she growled, angry at the carnal memories he awoke.

"My, my aren't we a bitch tonight..." he coolly admonished.

Her eyes closed to the merest slits as she countered with "My, my aren't we a slut tonight..."

Casually he observed the way Buffy held her body in stiff lines. Emotional pain just radiated from her, despite the fury that clearly caused her little fists to be clenched. _Already my sweet, you're pain is so delicious. Let's see how much more we can taste tonight._ One corner of his well-shaped mouth turned up in a cruel smile. "Why Buff, whatever do you mean?"

Her mouth tightened before she turned away from him. Buffy started to push the code in again. Softly he growled "Stop it."

Ignoring him she pushed in the last buttons. He immediately hit a button that canceled the entire code. Firmly she gritted out "I told you to leave me alone."

"But Buff, why would I ever do that?" he innocently asked.

Fury exploded within Buffy. Not caring if anybody heard or saw her, she spun around and shouted "Fuck you! I get the fucking point-now go back to her! It's obvious that you were having such a great time with her! I'm SO sorry that you had to leave her precious side!"

Laughing derisively Angelus said "Oh, I take it you mean my lovely friend in red. Baby-I never knew you cared!"

"I don't!"

"You don't? You mean this isn't," reaching out he captured one drying tear on her face, "because of jealousy?" Deliberately he sucked the stained digit into his mouth.

"No it's not!" she swore, never wanting to admit the truth to him. "I'm not someone you can treat like this. Bargain or not-I won't let you sleep with me if you're with her or anyone else." Mimicking his words from nights earlier she said "I won't play Angel to your Lady Fiona."

"Buff-we're not married nor are we going to get married. You're not the little woman and I'm not your husband." he spoke slowly, as if trying to reason with a toddler.

Buffy's face flooded with heat as the fury pounded her with dizzying waves. The silver ring that she slipped on that night dug into her skin as her knuckles turned white. "I'm not having this conversation with you anymore. I see why you told me to come here-"

"Oh you do? What do you think you know?" he silkily asked.

Sneering she spat "Drop it lover! You're trying to make me feel like a sex toy-a replacable one."

"Aren't you?" he smugly asked, his mouth drawn into his ever-present smirk.

SMACK!

Buffy slapped Angelus with so much force that his head snapped to the side from the force of her blow. Tears pricked her eyes as she gritted out "It's over. Deal's off. I'll take care of my own, I never needed to fear you to begin with. The bargain's over."

All movement in the house seem to stop and watch their drama unfold. Buffy could hear the shocked gasps and could feel the avid curiosity from the spectators. His eyes grew hard with a cold fury as he gingerly fingered his cheek.

Buffy waited for the blow to fall. She tensed, her every muscle ready to keep him from harming her. Their eyes met and held for several long moments. Finally Angelus turned away from Buffy and gave a low bow to the room at large. "As you can all see, I do like my pets feisty." The room broke out into titters as Buffy gasped with outrage. "However, if you'll excuse us..."

With that he firmly gripped her arm and dragged her behind him. Up the stairs they went while Buffy pulled back, trying to free herself from his iron grasp. Spiteful amused glances burned into her while her dignity quickly began to unravel.

"You may not care that you look like an idiot right now, but I DO!"

"Let go of me now, I'm serious!"

"I'm not going to let you-stop it!"

Angelus merely dug his fingers into her wrist and lengthened his stride. Seeing the doorway, Buffy whipped her hand out and hung on. Her arm felt as if it were about to be pulled out of the socket as he kept walking, but she stubbornly kept hold. Angelus finally stopped and gave her arm a sharp tug while saying "Stop being a brat Slayer. Let go." Mutely she shook her head and held on tighter.

Her Slayer skills seemed to desert her, even as she desperately tried to call them forth. There were at least six areas of vulnerability that she could attack but for some reason, Buffy could not bring her body to actively damage his. Sick dread settled within her as she intuitively knew the change was the cause of her weakness.

 _What will I do if I can't fight him? Ever?_ Schooling her face to one of reason, trying to keep her fears at bay, Buffy calmly said "Angelus, you're being a dork right now. I don't want you near me, be a man, demon, or whatever, and accept that."

He gave her arm a brutal yank, squeezing her hand tightly in his own. Gasping from the burning pain she looked up and changed tactics. "Okay, so you're not into acceptance. Just let go of me and I'll come with you on my own." _Yeah right_

Before Angelus could reply, a bland voice suggested "You might as well let go girlie. He'll have you whether you like it or not. Our Angelus isn't known for patience, so why don't you let go now, huh? Either that or you lose your arm. But if you're too stupid, we can use the entertainment..." This was greeted by a chorus of agreement.

Buffy blanched at the bloodlust that flared up in those around her. The man who said those oh-so-encouraging words, held a martini glass in one hand while propping himself against the doorway that she held on to. Throwing a dark look his way, Buffy caustically said "Sorry buddy, but not this time. Why don't you go find another drink you lush." The stranger just held up his glass in a salute before draining it and making himself more comfortable.

What kind of people were these? Shouldn't they be trying to help her? Instead they milled about, jostling to get the best vantage point to see what would happen next. The cold looks in their eyes belied the smiles and laughter. Buffy coud tell that they weren't vampires, but then again, that didn't mean they were human.

If so, these were the most fucked up people she had ever been around.

Looking away from the eager crowd, she looked back at Angelus. Mocking amusement gleamed in his eyes as he purred "Who looks like the idiot now baby? You should listen to them-many of them know me best."

"Like your friend in red?" Bufffy's chin went up in a gesture as she peered over his shoulder. "Looks like she not too happy right now. Why don't you go make up with her? You'll have a better chance with her than with me. At least with her you'll score. Me? Never again."

Looking over his shoulder Angelus glanced at the woman before turning back to Buffy. "You think so? Hmmm...who cares? She knows her place, she knows better than to interfere with my pleasure. Besides, I've already had her, it's you I want now. What I want Buff, I always get. Always."

Buffy blanched with the confirmation of his intimacy with the woman. Drawing in a shaky breath she felt an excrutiating pain pierce her heart. _Oh my God, how can I hurt this much? I don't love him. I don't care about him. Only Angel. Only him._

"You've had her? And you're stupid enough to just tell me?" Letting out a humorless chuckle she asked "Don't you know how tacky it is to kiss and tell? What makes you think I care what you want now? The bargain's off, that's it."

"You can't back out little girl. Don't you get it yet? We're in this together Slayer, for better or worse. Don't test me darling, you won't like the results."

"Or what? You'll come after my friends or maybe my Mom? Oh that's right, you'll probably do that anyways. At least my mom." she said in a saccharine sweet tone.

"Don't begrudge your mother company Buff. She's still an attractive woman, radiant and lovely, despite the obvious stress of raising a brat like you."

"If I'm such a brat, then why do you even bother being around me? And it doesn't matter how pretty my mom is, she's still my MOM! Just because of that alone, you gross me out!"

"If I wanted your mother, you would both know it. But that's not the case my little idiot. Paranoia doesn't become you Buff, it makes you look desperate."

"Paranoid? Isn't that your middle name Angelus? And insecure-that one goes next. Angelus Paranoid Insecure...no wait, it should be Angelus Insecure Paranoid Demon Spawn. That has an evil ring to it, don't you agree?"

"Aspire for something else Slayer, comedy isn't your strong suit."

"Look-why don't you let go of my hand and you won't have to see me at all. I can see what a busy demon you are-I don't want to be apart of your swinging lifestyle. Alright?" _I just want to go home and cry. AND I don't want to cry in front of you._

Taking a deep unneeded breath Angelus patiently said "Buff. Slayer. Why is there the need for all this? Isn't it enough that I want you? Just be a good girl and let go."

"Are you obtuse?! I don't care if you say you want me! It's obvious that you want everyone BESIDES me. You were the one who left me in the bathroom. You were the one who preferred talking to my mother, treating me like some pre-schooler. AND you were the one who had a midget hanging all over you!"

Coming in closer, his other hand easily pried her fingers off the doorway while whispering in her ear "How's it feel Slayer?"

"What do you mean?" Buffy gasped as he yanked her away, hauling her small body up next to his. They were now at the same eye level, one of his arms firmly around her waist, effectively trapping Buffy's arms between them. He could have moved her from the doorway anytime he wanted. Why did she even bother struggling?

Easily walking down the steps with her in his arms, Angelus softly interrogated Buffy with "How does it feel to be made a fool out of? How does it feel to see the person who you share yourself with...share with someone else?"

The two questions struck her deeply with their veiled accusations. One would think that it was HE who had been betrayed, not her. Slowly she said "I've never shared with anyone. I won't share. Not even something like you."

"Don't avoid the question. How does it feel to be betrayed? Does it make you want to puke? Does it make you want to lay down and die? Does it make you want to weep and wail before driving a stake through my heart?"

"I'd have to care about you first. And yes, you do make me want to puke, but only because I have to be this close to you."

"The more you insult me, the more I know how much I really get to you. So if you want to continue this tough girl act of yours, tone it down baby." Buffy mutinously remained quiet.

Holding her tightly, Angelus walked through the cavernous room, the throbbing pulse of the music forcing him to place his lips next to her ear. Continuing he questioned "What does it feel like Slayer? How does it feel to know that I've been with the lovely Lina? How does it feel to know that I've touched her in all the same places I've touched you?"

Unwillingly Buffy had an image of the two together. She saw their naked bodies sprawled against each other. She saw the now named Lina kissing Angelus' body, giving him the pleasure that only belonged to her-Buffy.

Closing her eyes tightly she tried to keep the tears from welling. Behind her lids they burned fiercely, battling with the burning in her stomach. He was right. She did want to vomit. Thickly she asked "When?"

"Does it matter?"

New pain lashed through her. Her emotions were so close to the surface. Too close. _No, I won't let him know how much it hurts. I won't let him know._ A catch sounded in Buffy's voice as she desperately asked "Why are you doing this? What are you trying to prove? Do you just want to fuck me, is that it? Fine. Do it. I don't care, but just leave me alone!"

Relentlessly Angelus demanded "Answer me: how does it feel?"

Looking over his shoulder she focused on the people around her, wanting to put Angelus away from her. It was as should be expected: people were enjoying themselves. It was a party before she saw him, it was still a party now that she was being carried away by him. Across the room no one paid attention to them, but the ones immediately around her hungrily stared.

"Look at me."

Shaking her head she said "No." She couldn't look at him, if she did, she was lost.

"Do it darling. Look-at-me."

His command was so gently spoken, compelling her to obey him. Something inside of Buffy shifted, wanting to comply. _I can't look at him. He'll know everything if I do. But...I can't say no._ The fear she felt tasted bitter in her mouth as she raised her eyes to his.

The crowd seamlessly parted, their gazes lingering on the human and vampire. The lust and pain between the two was so drawing to these damned creatures. They yearned for the perfection of human feeling, wanting to exploit it and drain it for their own hungers.

Many lusted after the blond, feeling her fear and her pain. Others craved the tall vampire, wishing he was holding them with such tender possessiveness. What would it be like to be apart of the tapestry of dishonor between them, the room wondered at large.

Buffy couldn't see the crowd anymore. Helplessly staring into his fathomless eyes Buffy felt so vulnerable. She knew all the emotions he wanted to read were easily there for him to steal. She allowed her lids to close, hoping to keep her secrets longer. "Don't shut me out! Open your eyes!" he ruthlessly growled, the gentleness completely gone.

She shook her head while whispering "No". She could not let him see how much he hurt her tonight. She could not let herself be that vulnerable.

Goading her he taunted "You called me the slut, but that better suits you don't you think? After all, you're the one who allows others to sniff around you-like dogs after a bitch in heat."

"How can you say that? I wasn't the one who had his tongue shoved down someone else's throat!" she tensely pointed out. Her face became cold, concealing the bleeding rivulets of betrayal inside herself.

"And that hurts you doesn't it?"

"No! It's just-" she desperately denied

"Just what?"

"Don't you care how much of a neanderthal you're being are right now? Carrying me off, when everyone knows I don't want you. All your **friends** must feel real sorry for you" she snidely said, trying to anger him enough to stop this dangerous line of questioning.

"Why should I care? You belong to me. Everyone in this room knows it as well as I do."

"I don't belong to you! How can you ever think that anyone BELONGS to anyone?"

"Because you do. Your blood knows it. Your body knows it. Only you're conscience is keeping you from acknowledging it. But you will. Tonight is just another night to prove it." Hungrily he caught her lips with, nipping the soft flesh until it reddened. Drawing back he murmured "To prove that the Slayer belongs to a demon."

Jerking her head away she stared at him in horror. "I do not!"

"The pain you feel is just one of a thousand links between us Slayer. The agony you feel when you remember that Lina and I have been carnal-"

Her stomach clenched at hearing his confession. Again. Fury immediately tore through her-she would not let him do this to her. Throwing caution to the wind, Buffy spitefully explained "I don't care who YOU"VE been with. It's just that I care about Angel's body! I don't care what YOU do, only what you do in his body-"

Finally angered he stopped in the middle of the room and gritted out "It's all about Angel with you?"

"Always" she softly swore.

"We'll see" he furiously promised. Before she realized what was happening, Angelus threaded his fingers in Buffy's ponytail, yanked her head back, and sank his fangs deep within the side of her throat. An blinding explosion took place within her body. Excrutiating pleasure battled with the pain and humiliation of being fed on. Greedily he drank from her, his grip crushing. Her fingers dug into his side while her mouth fell open.

Buffy's body erupted in orgasm as the feeding reached its' pinnacle. Bright flashes of light flared behind her closed eyes as she clutched Angelus tighter. The ecstasy enveloped her, drowning her beneath a heavy flood of crimson blood and black pleasure.

The dull roar filled her ears, barely being recognizable as the sounds of sharp clapping and the crystal tinkling of many glasses coming together. Buffy could feel Angelus' sharp kiss leave her while his arms left her also. Weakly she slipped against him, falling to the floor. Her breath came in sharp pants while she rested her head against his knee. She could feel him looking at her, waiting for whatever confession he needed.

One that she was unwilling to give to him.

She felt so ashamed and so confused. She was ashamed because she was the Slayer yet she allowed a vampire to feed off of her. She was confused because he made her feel so good. It was wrong, it had to be, but...now she was dying to have more of him. She felt incomplete, it wasn't enough.

"Tell me lover, is it Angel who has you panting, or me?"

Mutely she lifted her head and looked into his darkly handsome face. "Please..." _Please don't make me tell. Please touch me. Please take me with you. Please take my choices away. Please give me what I want. Please..._

"Is Angel the one who made you come? Is Angel the one who's going to fuck you tonight?"

"No" she whispered, acknowledging that she needed him tonight, regardless of her promises.

"So it's not all about Angel, is it?"

Buffy opened her mouth to speak before closing it. Instead she turned her head to the side and brushed her lips against his leg, uncaring that strangers looked on. "Not good enough lover. Tell me how it feels."

Hanging her head down, she moved away from him. _What does he want from me? Why does he want to hear how much it hurts me?_ Bringing her knees up Buffy laid her head down. "I don't want to. I can't" she mumbled.

Angelus stood there, his hands completely relaxed at his side, watching the Slayer break down. "One more chance baby."

"What do you want to know?! I-I don't feel anything for you. I don't."

Angelus coldly smiled. "Alright Buff, we can play this way too." Lifting her up, he began kissing the spot that had recently nourished him. Buffy's head fell back, giving him all the access he wanted. Hungrily he placed kisses all along her neck and jawline. Weakly she clutched his waist, feeling her body clamor for his.

His lips met hers, pillaging Buffy's tender mouth with his tongue, forcing her to accept him. Standing on tiptoe she pressed her body against his, needing to feel more of him. Angelus reached up and pulled the rubberband out of her hair before plunging his fingers through her golden strands.

Within seconds Buffy was mewling against his mouth, desperate to be with him. "Angelus...I want you...please..."

In response he picked her up, causing her to wrap her legs around his waist. Clutching his shoulders, Buffy hungrily licked and bit his neck. Closing her eyes she moaned from the sheer pleasure of knowing the magic he would create using her body.

She soon felt him lower her body against a cold, flat surface. Her eyes flew open as she realized that they were not in his bedroom, but still in the midst of his party. "W-What-"

Placing his palms on either side of Buffy's head, Angelus leaned down until his mouth was a few inches away from her own. "Since you won't tell me how it feels, maybe you'll show all of THEM."

Wildly looking around her, she saw that she was lying on the massive dining table. People were still seated on all sides, the two women now lounging on the laps of two older men, their dead eyes a sharp contrast to their animated smiles and malicious whispers. Buffy felt the sting of fear wrap itself around her body. Looking back into Angelus' cold face, she stated with disbelief "Not in front of them! You can't do this!"

Entwining his hands with hers Angelus cheerfully said "Oh but lover-I am!"

Panicked she tried to buck him off of her, thrashing her body wildly. A large crowd gathered around the table, forcing Buffy to hear their words despite her terror.

"I'm so excited to see this..."

"I wonder if he'll make her bleed..."

"Of course he'll share her! Angelus is the perfect host..."

"You should've seen his palace in St. Petersburg..."

Clenching her eyes tightly she tried to force the crowd from her mind. She fought against Angelus with a desperate intensity while she struggled to keep their poisonous musings from suffocating her. Tears leaked from her eyes as sobs broke from her tightly pressed lips. He was going to rape her. Angelus was going to rape her in front of all these people.

 _I can't move him! I can't get him off me! He's going to rape me and I can't stop him! I CAN'T STOP HIM!_

With renewed strength Buffy twisted and thrashed, her terror closing in on her body. "I'll kill you! Do you hear me?! I'll kill you if you do this!" Angelus didn't answer her threats, just smiled as he easily kept her on the table. The murmur of voices announced their pleasure at seeing her fight a losing battle. _How did this happen?_ her panicked-stricken mind shouted. Angelus merely held her down with his wrists, his strength hardly being tested.

Buffy continued to struggle for what seemed like hours, not giving up, until finally her body collapsed beneath his. Shutting her eyes tightly she began to cry silently, beyond caring that those around her would take joy from her tears. Tears were all she had left.

It took Buffy several moments to realize that Angelus was whispering his own words of comfort into her ear. "Ssshh...baby, there's no need to cry...There's no need to be shy...you have such a beautiful body...You won't answer my question with words...answer me with yourself...Ssshh..."

Vainly trying to stop her sobs, Buffy gulped repeatedly. Between breaths she begged without threats, without pride "Angelus, I'm sorry...I'll tell you whatever you want to know...I'll say whatever you want me to say...Just don't do this to me."

Laying his head against her throat Angelus relished the feeling of her: so soft, so pliant beneath him. Her body's precious fluid beckoned him, her taste never forgotten, but needed again. Dropping a light kiss on her misery tainted skin, he sorrowfully replied "If only I could Buff-but you left me with no choice. We have to see the end of this. The time for talking is over."

"No! Angelus-I can't do this! I can't do this with all these PEOPLE watching. Please, I can't!" she hoarsely whispered, her eyes pleading for a mercy that he did not possess.

Lifting his head up, he stared down into her wide frightened eyes. "You are SO fucking lovely when you cry, did you know that? One would be tempted to give you the world for just one of your tears."

"Please Angelus...please..." she begged, hoping beyond hope that her abject sorrow would be enough for him.

Letting go of her hands Angelus stood up to his full height, fathomlessly watching every emotion flit across her face. Fear, hope, despair, need, hatred...FEAR. How he loved that simple emotion! Fear could bring down the mightiest, crushing all that stood in its' path. Fear was almost as powerful a drug as sex itself.

Almost.

It was intoxicating to have the Slayer fearing him. The most powerful Slayer of recorded history feared HIM. But like all fine emotions, fear was nothing in itself without unwilling lust. Observing her disheveled figure Angelus felt a white-hot thread of fury stitch itself into him. Even now he could tell that she was wishing and praying for her Angel to save her.

Wishing that perhaps some of Angel's humanity would force him to stop this. Praying for Angel to make him see how wrong this was. Tracing his eyes over her face, he noted the hesitant yet unshakable hope that he would relent. Thinking she still had a chance, Buffy softly whispered "Don't do this to me. Anything but this" as crystal tears rolled down her cheeks.

Angelus could feel his jaw clenching until it ached. Try to manipulate him with her tears, while holding herself back from him, would she?! Let her wish and pray. Let her beg until her voice became raw. Let her plead with her lovely eyes until they rotted out.

No one was going to save her.

Buffy was going to pay for her indiscretions. She was going to pay for putting Angel above him. She was going to pay for not admitting how she felt about HIM. Like a stupid girl she thought she could play this game and not suffer losses. She would pay for so many sins against him. He'd been far too lienient with her. Already she was so spoiled and willful. She would learn and tonight's lesson was just beginning.

Casually he began unbuttoning his shirt, his agile fingers removing his cuff links before tossing them onto the table with an audible clank. Wordlessly he tossed his shirt on the floor, his eyes boring into hers. She tried to reach him one last time. "Don't do this. Not here."

One side of his mouth lifted in a smirk. The crowd parted to let the crimson Lina stand next to Angelus. Silently she watched Buffy through emotionless eyes. She did not seem to enjoy the display but she did not seem to dislike it either. Buffy wanted to look away even as a new pain filled her heart. Lina was still holding his glass.

"Ah I see you've refilled my drink. You were always a thoughtful one Lina." Taking the heavy crystal from her slender hand, he drank the contents in one gulp. Throwing the glass against the wall, Angelus laughed as it splintered and shattered. He flexed his shoulders in an unconscious gesture. "Do you think that her passion will overcome her shyness?" he musingly asked the revelers at large.

Immediately a wave of murmurs rose in assent. Horror glazed Buffy's eyes. She could not believe what was happening. This was the real Angelus. Not the one who had tenderly nursed her feet. Not the one who had spent an entire night giving her pleasure. Not the one who had kept his word and spared her friends.

This was the REAL Angelus.

Seeing the inevitability of her situation Buffy closed herself off from him, from everyone around her. She retreated within, going to place where HE could not go. "No fair Buff. You're doing that unemotional thing again! I want you to feel EVERYTHING." Angelus jovially said as he first pulled her shoes and socks off, before yanking her pants down.

Docilely Buffy lay there, staring at the ceiling, while he slipped her jacket off. _He can't touch me...He can't touch me..._ she silently chanted. She did not feel his hands enclose around her ankles, nor did she feel him pull her towards him. Blankly she stared at the ceiling, letting her vision swirl the burnished colors of amber and gold. Buffy did not feel his fingers trail up and down her slender legs.

Dimly she wondered as to how people painted the surface of the glass ceiling. Did they do it before or after it was fitted into place? It was really quite lovely. She never knew a place like this could be in Sunnydale. Buffy was deep inside herself, banishing all the ugliness of those around her. She did not feel him run his hands up her chest, lightly caressing her throat.

Fixated she stared at the sharpness of the whirling colors. Gleaming gold and rich amber danced an amorous ritual, swirling into each other only to break apart. How hypnotically they swayed! Around and around, together and apart. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Drops of vibrant green soon splattered into the seamless mixture, disrupting the enchanting order of the two colors. Where did the green come from? Suddenly it became very important for her to know.

Where did it come from?

Finding the source of the enchanting color of Erin would keep Buffy safe. It would keep her mind free from the defiling of her body. It would keep her sane. Sane until she was free to allow the insanity of rage take her. Free to be taken to a place where there was no compassion, no morals, no ethics. The only thing tangible would be rage itself. Clean in its' destructiveness.

The glimmering well of colors began to shrink, only to expand again. Contract, expand, before contracting once more. Something was compelling her to look, to **see** the colors separate and apart of itself. Drawn Buffy allowed a tiny part of her mind to focus beyond herself, to find the source of the green, to understand how simple such beauty really was.

Suddenly she felt herself sucked away from safety, sucked away from the peacefulness of meaningless questions. Her ears became filled with the throbbing bass and mournful cry of the unknown singer's music. Countless voices talked among themselves, their spiteful laughter interspersed with sighs and soft moans. Arching her chest in pain, Buffy saw Angelus above her. His face was tight with lust while his body moved against her own, reaching deep inside her.

The swirling colors she had seen were not the flat texture of paint, but the real clarity of his eyes. Demonic eyes that glowed with his hunger for her human flesh. This entire time she had been waxing about the beauty of his damned eyes! Fury racked her-there was no place she could go to escape him, not even the sanctity of her mind.

With an unwelcome awareness, Buffy realized that she was completely naked and being plowed by his body. She felt such an overwhelming sickness take her. He did it. He was using her on his table, exposing her to all the prying eyes in the world. What she held sacred and private, he flaunted to any and all who would see.

The wetness of tears rose to wash her eyes before being ruthlessly squashed and driven back. She would not cry this time. Not now. She would endure this. She would endure having him in her, and then she would happily endure the task of brushing his ashes from her. Change or not, the bonds of IT existing or not, Angelus would not live to see another night.

Contempt froze in her eyes, reaching out and stinging Angelus with frigidness. Slowing his movements down, he whispered in pleasure "Ahh, hate. I can FEEL your hate lover. Give me your hatred, loathe the sight of me...Hate ME."

Silently she stared into his eyes, all feeling hidden into nothingness, not wanting to give him anymore pleasure than he had already stolen. "It's too late Buff, you showed me your cards." Sliding his hand down to grip her thigh he nuzzled the side of her face with his nose. "You're telling me all I need to know."

Closing her eyes, Buffy laid her head to the side, wanting an escape from his mocking tenderness. "You can turn away, you can try to shut me out, but I'm IN baby. I'm in you and I don't mean like this." Pulling himself out, Angelus slammed into her body, forcing Buffy's body to arch in pain. Holding both of her unresisting wrists in one hand, he gently kissed her mouth. "Do you know what the opposite of love is?"

Unwillingly, even though she never wanted to speak to him (at least not until the moment before she impaled him with a stake) Buffy coldly answered "Hate."

Purring against her neck Angelus held himself still, relishing the feel of her body and their audience. Lightly nipping the soft skin of her shoulder, he tasted the sweetness of his young lover, before laving the bite his tongue. "No darling. The opposite of love, the DEATH of love is not hate-it's indifference. It's not caring what your mate does, who your mate is, what your mate does with you. Or NOT with you."

Raising up on his forearms he forced Buffy to look at him, to watch the fervent light glow in his eyes. "Hate is the twin of love, it is the reality of love. Love, LOVE Slayer, is the masquerade of HATE. It is the impostor, it is the fickle adulterer of human emotion. Why chase Love when you can trust in Hate? Hate transcends all. It is the air we breath, the lives we live, it is the true keeper of all that we are-human or otherwise."

"What-are-you-saying?" she asked in a measured voice, already knowing his response.

"Hate me Buff. Hate me with every breath you take, but you will not be indifferent to me. Not because I command it, but because your soul demands it."

"You want my love, don't you?" Buffy asked in her coldest voice.

An unrecognizable emotion flickered in his eyes before being hidden away. "I don't want your dishonesty. I want your truth."

"I don't care what you want. You wanted me, you took my body-but I choose to give you nothing." Closing her eyes Buffy tried to force her mind to retreat.

Coming down Angelus whispered in her ear "You're in pain, aren't you? Even knowing what kind of **man** I am, you never thought I would do this to you. You could imagine me killing your followers, your Watcher, all the so-called innocents of this town. Even so, you still wanted me. You imagined me wanting your mother, and it infuriated you, but you still came here, didn't you? But you could never imagine this, never this."

"My question is: how could you not?" Lightly kissing the flesh of her neck he continued. "You know what I'm capable of, you've read what I've done, yet you're still in pain. You can't fathom how I can do this to you. You can't comprehend why I would strip you naked in front of all my guests, spread you on my table, and fuck you."

His words beat into her, lashing her with their intuitiveness. The hardness of the antique surface scored her flesh, prickling her to an unpleasant awareness of his body. She tried to stop Angelus' words from reaching her, but they were as relentless as he.

"Don't you see how I've given you a way out? Anyone else I'd fuck to death, but not you Slayer." _Not yet._ "Don't you realize the honor I've given you?"

Buffy's eyes flew open, angry disbelief shining clearly from their depths. "Honor? Honor? You call raping me an honor?"

Angelus looked down into her face for a moment before asking "Does it have to end as a rape?" Moving one of her wrists into his other hand, he stretched them above her head again. "Don't you see how I've given you the chance to speak without words? To show me what you feel for me without awkwardness?"

"You're insane!"

"Am I? Or is it perhaps everything I'm saying is complete and sane, and everything you've ever believed is lacking all sanity?"

Shaking her head Buffy whispered "You're crazy! You're absolutely insane!" In response Angelus moved against her, drawing his cock out before gently pushing in. Squeezing her hands into tight fists she promised "And you are SO dead."

"Dead! Why Buff-you've just now realized it?" he wryly asked.

Tensing her body Buffy fought to control the revulsion and pain that she felt. She knew what he was! She knew what he was capable of! So why did it hurt so much that Angelus would do this?

"When are you going to stop being a victim?" he suddenly asked in a serious tone.

Taken aback she turned to look at him again. Placing his forearms on either side of her, Angelus completely enfolded her so that all she could see was him. His eyes were once again dark brown, their cold depths snapping with impatience. "Look at you: a fucking martyr! You lay here, suffering me, all the while thinking prattle like _How can he do this to me? Oh! Woe is me!_ "

"What would you know about me? You don't know shit Angelus!"

"I know all I need to know about you Slayer. In fact, I'd gamble to say that I know you better than yourself."

Her eyes were like frozen pools of ice as she silently stared up at him.

"It makes you feel better to think that you have no choice in this. You can blame me for being stronger, for being more evil or whatever, but you're completely to blame you know."

"Yeah that's what every rapist says."

Ignoring her bitter words he lightly stated "You could've been honest and welcomed me but instead you forced me to punish you."

"Punish me? This is what you call it?"

"Punishment for being dishonest."

"Dishonest about what!?"

"How did it feel lover?"

"What do you want to know? WHY do you want to know?" Buffy cried in frustration.

"Admit what I mean to you. Admit how I'm not just Angel's body, but a man in his own right. Admit that you want ME!"

"You're not a man Angelus. You'll never be a man. You're just a demon." she archly stated, cold triumph evident in the small smile that curved her pale lips.

Disbelief stamped itself across his face. Was she incredibly brave or just incredibly stupid?

Angelus thrust against her leisurely, causing her to wince in discomfort, while spitefully promising "I may never be a man, but at least I'll always come out on top Slayer. Especially with you. Or should I say ON you?"

In response Buffy closed her eyes and allowed her head to roll to the side. _I'll make him pay, somehow I'll make him PAY!_

"You're a coward Slayer. A fucking coward!" An angry scowl settled over his face, while his fingers dug into the skin of her wrists. "Fine, lay there then! Lay there like a helpless fool! Cut yourself off from me, make a lie out of who you are. Show everyone in this room what a pitiful lay you are! Let Lina laugh at you! Let her see what a weak, sorry excuse for a human you are! Let this room full of God's abominations gloat over the fallen Slayer!"

"Aren't you already doing that? What difference does it make what they think?"

Her brittlely spoken words made him pause. Easing off the brutal pressure from her wrists, Angelus began to softly massage them with his thumbs. In those two sentences Buffy thoughtlessly let him know exactly where she was emotionally. _I'm almost there. I can feel it._ Knowing that he was close, Angelus held the gloating tone in. Instead he unemotionally asked "Why do my actions mean more to you than theirs?"

Moving her head Buffy opened her eyes to look squarely at him. "Finish so I can leave."

Goading her he coaxed "C'mon Buff, give me a better fight than this..."

"Fight! You don't want a fight, you want me weaker than you. You want to-" Buffy's voice became husky with tears as she tried to control the trembling in her voice. "Y-You want t-to do this."

"Aww, look at the poor little girl cry. You're breaking my heart, really you are" he cruelly exclaimed.

Finally she snapped.

Furious Buffy spat between gritted teeth "You want me to tell you how it feels? It makes me SICK to have you inside me! I can't believe that there was a time when I thought you felt good! I can't believe that I thought I would DIE if you didn't touch me!" Leaning forward she finished with "Now I know that YOU will be the one dying for touching me like this!"

"You want to see me dead?"

"Yes!"

"You want me to die for forcing myself on you?"

"Yes!"

"You want to kill me for kissing Lina, knowing, FEELING you were here?"

Tears of fury glittered in her eyes as she shrieked "YES! I hate you for it! I hate you for fucking her! I want you both dead!"

Pure triumph shined in his eyes as an unholy smile transformed his face to pure masculine beauty. "Baby..." he crooned as he sought to cover her lips with his own. Enraged she jerked her head away. Determined he patiently followed her until his mouth settled over hers. Buffy bit into his mouth; this only caused him to moan with delight.

She could not understand this turn of events. What was he doing? She didn't want him to do this to her! It was too late to kiss and make up. He raped her in front of all these damned people. Did he think that a peck here and there would make it all better? Listening to him purr with pleasure Buffy hissed as he bit down on her sensitive lower lip. But then again, he didn't care about making things better with her-so what did he want now?

Pulling away from her reddened mouth Angelus delicately kissed the line of her jaw before traveling to her vulnerable throat. Buffy stared at the ceiling, desperately working at keeping her abused body from acknowledging his tender ministrations. Her forehead became damp as she unwillingly felt him caress her breasts, taking the soft nipples into his mouth before tenderly scraping his teeth across them.

"Stop it!" she cried out, not expecting him to comply.

Laving her hardening nipple with his tongue, he brought his head back to Buffy's mouth. Gently kissing her cheek he whispered "Do you want to be the victim some more? Or do you want to play?"

"I don't want you on me, I'm not interested in playing anymore of your fucked up games!"

"Buff, do you want everyone in this room to remember you as the little blond that I screwed on my dining room table, or do you want to be remembered as the first human to walk away from me alive?"

Buffy felt a shiver of fear at his veiled threat. He couldn't kill her, could he? Not because he gave a damn but because of the prophesy. _Buffy he might have almost killed you once. You don't know exactly what Acrymydion is coming after-a Slayer or something else._ Lifting her chin up she coldly asked "Is that a threat?"

Smirking he fervently denied "No, I wouldn't threaten you Buff! Do you wanna play or are you going to forfeit?"

How can she just go along with this? How can she even contemplate this thought? Especially after what he's been doing to her! "I can't play anymore Angelus, what you took-"

"Does the Slayer break this easily?" he taunted.

She felt so helpless, so trapped. Wordlessly she stared at him, feeling her hatred rise again. He claimed that hate was the sister of love, she didn't believe him. If she could give into her hatred he would explode into ash right now.

 _He would, but after it was over, then what would you do Buffy? You would scramble trying to keep his ashes together, before wanting to die yourself._ her inner voice spoke with disquiet. His choice was simple if devastating: respond or die. Her choice was this: none.

"Let go of my wrists" she ordered.

Giving her a measured look Angelus paused before evilly smiling. Releasing her wrists he allowed his hands to travel down the length of her arms. Teasingly he scraped his nails against the smooth skin of her breasts. Harshly panting Buffy tried to control her body's trembling, a trembling not borne out of passion but fear.

She tried to force the memory of his violation away, tried to make her body feel pleasure but it was an impossible task. How could she? How could she ever feel anything but loathing for him? He used her in front of his guests, showing them what should never be shown. He took away her choice and used her for the enjoyment of all these people.

Their enjoyment was a tangible living thing..

All the surrounding revelers were barely holding themselves in check. The combined scent of their arousals permeated the air. Focusing on the people seated a few feet away from her, Buffy felt so exposed, so humiliated. One woman's hand was underneath the table, obviously doing naughty things if the the man's expression was any indication.

"Let go of your inhibitions." A soft voice floated towards her through the pulsing music and buzzing of the decadent crowd. Moving her eyes towards the source Buffy's gaze locked with Lina's. Her lips barely moved and the voice was hardly that of a whisper but Buffy heard her clearly. "Angelus is showing you mercy by giving you this choice. Don't be a stupid girl holding on to foolish pride. We've all seen you and there's nothing to change that."

Buffy's voice was just as low as she replied "He raped me, there's no mercy there Lina." Angelus hungrily nuzzled her neck, hearing her words and those of Lina's but with no intention of interference.

"There are worst things than that-" came the emotionless response.

Angrily cutting in Buffy hissed "Like what?" Angelus began nipping the small shell of her ear, causing goosebumps to stand out all over her body.

"He could've tied you spread-eagle on that table and allowed every creature here to take his pleasure of you. But he did not, he kept you for himself. He could have taken your body and sliced it to ribbons for your infidelity-"

"Infidelity?! I was nice to a waiter! That was it."

"Any time you keep yourself from your lover, anytime that you acknowledge another as a sexually being is an infidelity to him. Haven't you learned that yet?"

"Why do you care Lina? Shouldn't you be glad that he's doing this to me? Don't you want him back?" Angelus chuckled at Buffy's words, moving up her body to lightly kiss her cheeks before claiming her mouth. Teasingly he thrust his tongue in and out, mimicking what his body would do later. Tearing her mouth away she found Lina again, determined to hear her answer.

A sad smile flitted across the smooth, unlined face for the barest moment. "I had him once or rather he had me. I was foolish and I lost. So believe me when I tell you that he's shown you more mercy than he's ever shown to any other."

"So you're telling me to just forget about it. To just let him win. I can't do that."

Lina digested Buffy's words. Carefully she walked closer until she was less than a foot away. Crouching down she was soon on level with the surface of the table. "You have such power, don't you see?" Angelus stopped his lazy caress of Buffy's body and pinned Lina with an enigmatic gaze. Wordlessly he looked away from her and continued scraping his teeth across Buffy's collarbone.

Lina's eyes cautiously glanced at Angelus before looking once more at Buffy. "No, I'm telling you SURVIVE. I'm telling you to fight, only then do you have a chance. Live or Die. It's your choice little one. You can't beat him, not now...maybe not ever. But you must try. You can hold onto your pain, nurse your wounds, but you must put it behind you. For tonight. Tonight you must survive. If you cannot-Angelus' mercy will end and you will no longer be considered worthy enough to fight. Do you want that?"

"How do you know so much Lina? What are you?" Angelus dropped a soft kiss on her forehead, before turning his body slightly. He laid his head on Buffy's so both were watching the lovely dark-eyed woman.

The beauty stood up, silent for a moment, a yearning flaring deep within her eyes, before disappearing behind a shell of indifference. "I am something that is tied to her crime and her weakness for eternity. Don't be foolish like I once was." With that she turned away and melted into the crowd. Buffy felt the finger of pity touch her as she thought about Lina's words. She had as much admited that she was a demon of some sort. But there was no maliciousness in her. Weren't all demons malicious by nature?

"She was always quite wise, even for her age. Pity things ended the way they did."

Angelus' negligent voice broke into her thoughts, causing her to move her head from his. "And how was that Angelus?"

Raising himself up again, he ignored her question and asked one of his own. "Are you ready to play or not?"

Buffy glared at him, hating him for being what he was. She hated him...

Yet Lina's words of warning couldn't be ignored. Survival was what she encouraged, and she was right. Live to fight another night.

"Ahh lover, I'm so pleased to see you're back in the game."

 _Use him like he used you. It won't mean anything_ she silently commanded herself. Leaning forward Buffy pressed her lips against his, forcing her tongue into his mouth. Empty passion made her link her arms around his neck while the crowd announced its' approval. Few made their way closer to the table, sighing with want. To see one of their own humiliate a human had been sinfully pleasurable, but to see the same human respond despite it all-pure divinity.

Angelus felt the headiness of his triumph almost overwhelm him. He could still smell her fear, her could still feel her pain. Her tiny hands lay about his neck, not fisting his hair as was her wont, but placed limply. He knew her passion well enough to know that this was not a true showing, but he did not mind. The fact was simply this: he won.

He played and won. There had been a chance that he could have taken this untried girl too far tonight or that he could've lost his control and completely ravaged her body beyond repair. But he did not. He did not feel the same call of the century before to destroy the offering under his body. He did not feel the sway of the crowd manipulate him to damage Buffy. At least physically. He had kept control and he had won.

Ah, the glorious moment of now...

The Slayer was forcing herself to put aside his past actions, to put aside her feelings and her morals. The little human beneath him was putting aside her 'fucking' pain just so she could fuck him now. Buffy was forcing herself to want him, even though it was the last thing in the world she wanted to do, and all for what?

Because he would kill her? Because Lina gave her a pep-talk?

No, not his Slayer. She forced herself to this degradation because she wouldn't be broken yet. She was too stubborn to be broken so early. It pleased him immensely simply because he could play with his beautiful toy a little longer. This was the first test and she had survived. Now it was just a matter of how much would the Slayer suffer for her tormentor.

Feeling himself thicken inside her, Angelus gave a growl of arousal. Buffy flinched against him but she continued to caress him with her lips. _That's a good girl..._ Even now he could feel her strength returning. Pulling his mouth away from her he began nuzzling the sweet skin of her neck, taking in all the exquisite emotions that flavored her.

Buffy's mind was still so strong, even if she did not yet realize it. He had raped her. Not seduced, nor coerced her. He raped her. The worst crime a man could commit towards a woman, yet for Angelus-his most merciful. Finding her open mouth again, he tasted the soft misery that was Buffy Summers. Yes he had hurt her, yet she was still here complete and whole in mind and body. No other way could he visit his wrath upon her without leaving her incapacitated for a day or two. He had to weaken her pride, he had to punish her for tonight.

And he HAD, but there was still one other pesky matter left...

Still accepting Buffy's tribute Angelus looked across the crowd in front of him, dismissing the salivating idiots who were rapidly losing their illusion of humanity. Intently he searched until finally he found what he sought. The sight that greeted his cold eyes was just the one he desired. Angelus smirked against Buffy's mouth as he began to fiercely devour her. Silently he gave his command to the two who served him before returning the warm body that belonged to him. He had no doubt that all would be as he wished it. Hadn't he already proven it twice tonight?

Partial victory was sweet, but total success would be rapturous.

Covering her with his body Angelus kept himself still, resisting the completion of this act. Buffy tightened her arms, running her fingers through his hair for just a moment, before dropping them about his neck once more. She was still kissing him with purpose but if he wasn't mistaken-her lips had softened just a bit.

Now it begun...

The past two days had not been one of his control, matters had taken a different turn, but he was not displeased. The Slayer was now connected to him much the way those he sired were. Only this was much more powerful than anything he had ever experienced.

She was tied to him by body, blood, and spirit. Buffy could feel him now, much the same as he could feel her before. Not entirely what he would've planned (a trifle bit embarrassing to explain to any higher-ups) but this development could only be turned to his advantage.

And IF he had to be honest, he would have to admit that he had liked hearing her heartbeat quicken when she looked at him after her uninhibited dance. He had enjoyed seeing her squirm with arousal at just his one touch during her family dinner. He had adored the pulse of his name on her lips as he drank from her tonight. And her blood-the most exquisite concoction has yet to be dreamt of.

But ONLY IF he were honest to himself would he acknowledge all this.

Releasing her mouth Angelus saw himself in her sorrow filled eyes. He was the entire world to her at this moment. He could see it as clearly as if he could see into her heart. _I WILL be your entire world. Beyond this moment, beyond tonight, beyond the past Slayer. I will._

Removing himself from her, he tucked his cock back into his pants. Standing up he watched as her eyes followed his every movement. He felt when she heard a certain guest comment on the lushness of her pubic hair. He read the modesty of her body as she tried to cover herself with her hands. He saw the shame that caused her arms to go limp and knew the acceptance that Lina's words were true. They all saw her.

Casually he picked up his shirt. Reaching out with one hand he gently raised Buffy up until she was sitting. Warily she locked her eyes with his, afraid to know what was coming next, but determined to face it. Running one finger down her throat Angelus watched in fascination as her pulse began to slightly throb. He murmured "Lovely little brave girl..." before placing his open mouth on the sweet spot of her jugular.

"Angelus-" she neutrally began before he silenced her with a finger. Shaking his head he gave one last kiss before standing back up. "Later Buff." Surprisingly Buffy remained silent. Fixing her eyes level with his chest she waited. Now was not the time to try her strength against him. Tonight was not the night. So she waited and prayed she would survive.

Carefully he lifted one of her arms up and slid it into his shirt. He repeated the same with the other before closing the shirt up. Buffy watched him in disbelief as he bent his head to the task of buttoning each tiny button. Pulling her hair out of the collar, he smoothed it over her back. When he would have turned up the sleeves she shook her head "no". Angelus then left the shirt alone and began playing with a lock of her hair. Wrapping her arms about herself Buffy felt the confusion of the moment almost overwhelm her.

She was so sure that he would continue using her body until he was finished. She had prepared herself for it, had been ready to accept it, but now this turn of events completely left her unnerved and off balance. Looking into his emotionless face Buffy stopped herself from asking why. The whys would not change the past nor would it keep him from being in her future.

Wrapping his arms about her in the appearance of tenderness, Angelus allowed his lips to kiss her temple. "I had to prove a point to you. The point's been proven" he softly murmured in answer to the unspoken question.

"Point?" she whispered in disbelief.

Stepping back he arrogantly said "I'll be back for you in a moment. Do not leave this table until then."

"Point?!" she demanded in a louder voice as he turned away.

Angelus continued to stride away, the crowd parting for a moment before enveloping him within its' swaying depths. "Point?!" she yelled in fury, her fists clenching so tightly that Angel's ring cut into her skin. A few of the creatures around her turned their attention to each other, dismissing her now that the entertainment was over.

But many more continued to slyly observe her, obviously hoping for her to break down. Buffy's cheeks quickly became stained in her anger. They already saw more than they deserved, she was not going to have a nervous breakdown just to make them happy. Defiantly she glared at those around her until they began to feel uncomfortable under her threatening stare. Satisfied in watching them turn tail and run Buffy finally looked away.

Feeling a prick of pain in her hand she absently glanced down. Opening her hand she saw the seeping of crimson blood snake it's way down her palm onto the white shirt. Before her eyes the tiny cut rapidly closed up, boldly reminding her of what she was now. _Which is what Buffy?_ Something that was of Angelus' creation it would appear.

Breathing in measured breaths Buffy stared across the room, ignoring the decadent crowd and loud music, trying to keep her rage under control. He had to prove a point to her. A point. A point in reason. To her. From him.

He raped her. He humiliated her. He abused her. For a point. A fucking point.

"You can leave you know."

Slowly moving her head to the side Buffy coldly stared at the speaker. It was the charmingly-handsome-dead-in-the-eyes-french-banker-type. "It's true, you can leave."

"I can leave?" she asked in an emotionless voice.

"Of course you can leave _ma petite_. You can leave, never to see this beast again. You can be free from his odious and barbaric attention forever. I can see to it."

Wordlessly Buffy continued to stare at him, her growing hostility evident from the tightness of her mouth.

"We can leave now, he won't stop us. He probably is finished with you now. Come." Holding out a hand he reached for her, fully expecting for her to fall into his arms in gratitude. Any other girl might have, but...

"Look you creep-GO away."

The depths of his eyes never wavered nor hinted at any emotion. "Don't be foolish, you can't possibly want to stay with this monster. I'm offering you freedom from Angelus-"

"Freedom? In return for what? A place in your bed or maybe on your wall?" she blithely asked. By this point many diverted their attention back to Buffy, malicious curiosity evident in their faces. A slight murmur traveled back and forth as many wondered if their colleague could actually be this stupid. Could he actually be so unbelievably idiotic that he would try to take what was clearly not his? Especially from a vampire like Angelus?

Apparently he was.

Dispassionately the older man allowed his eyes to flicker over her disheveled figure. Blandly he stated "There is always a price to be paid in this world." Gripping her wrist in his surprisingly strong hand he finished with "Anything would be better than what you will find here."

Pointedly looking down at his hand on her Buffy took one last calming breath. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Why? Because your protector wouldn't like it?" Tightening his grip he smiled, the slight wrinkles around his eyes emphasizing their beauty and their deadness. "You're just a piece of meat to him, a meal to be played with. Whereas with me...well, I wouldn't eat you."

Pausing for a moment he allowed his smile to vanish. "Where is worth now, little Buffy? You're weaker since your dealings with Angelus, you won't kill him, so what value do you have as a Slayer? You're obviously not his paramour anymore, he didn't even finish his pleaure of you."

His words were the final nails in his coffin. She had been pushed around for the last time. She may be having problems of submission with Angelus, but she'd be damned if she took any garbage from this guy! Angelus. Damned bastard. The banker wouldn't even be trying to give her _freedom_ if it wasn't for her unwilling show. A dull roar filled Buffy's ears as rage overtook her. Buffy's conscience and compassion became buried as she focused on the newest target for her fury.

"Come before I change my mind" the Frenchman demanded, completely underestimating the girl in front of him.

Before he could even manage to pull her off the table, Buffy punched him fully in the throat, forcing him to release her. Staggering back the man held his throat with both hands. Sliding off the table she stalked him for several yards. "I told you to go away. But no, you HAD to be a knight in rusty armor." Reaching him she backfisted him one time, watching in satisfaction as his head snapped to the side.

"In case you haven't noticed-tonight is a BAD night for me!" Grabbing his collar, she smiled in cold satisfaction as his nose crumpled right beneath the fingers of her other hand. "I've had to take a lot of shit this week-end, so I'm running pretty low on the patience meter." Holding him up she dug her fist into his belly, listening to his groan of pain. "I told you as nicely as I could, but like a guy-you thought you knew best. Typical." The surrounding people drew back, to keep away from her wrath or to accomodate it was unclear.

Shaking him once she falsely asked "Had enough? Yes?" Weakly the man nodded his head. "Really? Well here's what I think..." Again she allowed her fist to land in the softened flesh of his stomach. A muffled groan echoed in the Slayer's ears. "Learn the lesson yet? When I or anybody else tells you to go away-you go away. And I do have value you freak. I'll ALWAYS have value, something like you won't take it away from me." Dropping him to the ground Buffy stared down in disgust. "AND I don't take crap from things like you." The last word of her tirade ended with a well-placed kick to the gut.

Two idle guests nudged the fallen man with their heels. "It seems that Angelus' pet has more spirit than we thought." Looking at Buffy one saluted her while the other clapped. "Bravo darling!"

Pinning them with her most lethal stare Buffy snarled "Shut-up! I'm not in the mood to deal with you two either."

"She's right you know. She doesn't take crap from anybody, only me. That's purely why I cherish her so."

Angelus' mocking voice broke through the haze of rage that consumed Buffy. Whirling around she watched in amazement as he prowled towards her, the muscles of his bare upper body flexing with each measured step. The world flooded her with Angelus. In this one unguarded moment of pure emotion Buffy felt herself calling for him, her hate running a thin line with her compulsion. Mesmerized she watched him.

The music pulsed and pounded, straining towards the culmination of where it ceased being music and instead became everything inside: the heart, the blood, the soul. The music befitted Angelus as he deliberately walked one step after another in time with the drowning pulse. It was deafening yet she heard him.

She heard him and she remembered him.

Buffy tamped down her wayward, contrary feelings. It was all a point with him, one that she had to pay for. Gaining control Buffy defiantly waited for him to do his worse. She had gotten off the damned table and beat the crap out of one of his oh-so-precious guests, he was sure to be displeased about it.

Her eyes then noticed a flicker of steel. Quickly glancing across the room she saw that one of the rapiers was missing. _He could have taken your body and sliced it to ribbons for your infidelity..._ Tensing her body she searched for any weapon she could use against him. He had the advantage again but she couldn't roll over and die. Not now.

Negligently he allowed the tip of the blade to rake across the marble floor, the hissing sound screeching in Buffy's ears. Relentlessly he stalked closer and closer until he stood an arm's length away from her. Fisting her hands Buffy waited, relaxing her body until it needed to arch away from his deadly blade.

Angelus charmingly smiled at his lover and remarked "Felt good, didn't it? It felt good to beat the shit out of him; to take all your anger for me and make him suffer. I knew you always had it in you babe. Always knew it." Deliberately he paused before allowing his voice to become husky with feeling. "I bring the best out of you Buff, don't forget that."

Blankly Buffy stared at him for a moment. Of all the things she expected him to say, this was not one of them. _Felt good, didn't it?_ Actually it did. Then his statements registered inside of her. Numbly looking down at her feet she saw in what condition she left Mr. Banker in. Now that the mindless rage no longer consumed her, Buffy felt a little shocked at what she had done.

Never had she just blown up at someone or something like this. When she was slaying, it was a part of her job. Find, stake, release. She didn't let her personal problems interfere or color her role. It wasn't like "Argh, Mom grounded me! Take that bloodsucker!" She never let her own feelings take over like that, ready to destroy because of her own fury.

What was it with him? How did he have her so twisted and wrapped up like this? Only after two days he's made her a complete mental case. _He gets into your head, it's what he does. You should know that by now._ The man coughed in great, hacking breaths, bringing Buffy's attention back to him. He deserved it, he really did. So why did she feel so weird about it now? Why did she feel as if she did something that was bad? Maybe it was because she ripped into him without the slightest shread of compassion or remorse.

 _ **I bring out the best in you.**_

Recognizing the wariness in her stance Angelus slowly came closer until he stood next to her. Looking down he gallantly requested Buffy to stand aside while "I teach my guest here how to treat others." When she didn't move Angelus quickly wrapped an arm around her waist and moved her behind him. "You can stay or you can go to my room, I'm sure you'll know which one. It's the only one that doesn't have people fucking. Yet."

Turning away from her he paused before turning back once more. "Better yet: stay. I want you to see this." Playfully he brought one finger to his mouth and made a "shushing" noise, fully confident that she would be right where he left her. Buffy didn't want to stay, yet she was also morbidly curious to what he was going to do. Compelled beyond reason she stood there and silently watched.

Dropping his smile Angelus' jaw clenched while his eyes blazed with barely controlled rage. "Now as for you Henri..." Laying the tip of the newly sharpened rapier under his throat, Angelus forced the man up onto his feet. "Henri, is this the way you treat your host after all the hospitality I've shown you?"

Even though he was obviously in danger of dying Henri calmly replied "I don't know what you mean."

The tip went in a bit causing him to wince with pain. Wolfishly grinning Angelus said "That is the bitch of being in one of these bodies, isn't it pal? You get to experience all the joy but you have to feel the pain of their weaknesses." Heavily sighing he grieved "The price of sin. I guess it's worth it though. Oh, that's right-you can't feel anything REAL can you Henri?" Expressively waving a hand he apologized "Sorry to bring that up, I know it's a sore spot for your kind."

Bringing his ringed hand up to his chin Angelus innocently asked "How does that work again Henri?" The man slowly blinked his eyes while remaining completely silent. "Oh I remember now. Sorry, I've been behind on my demon terminology and custom for about a century, so if I'm wrong-cut in, won't ya?"

Coming a little closer Angelus forced Henri to take a few steps back, the people behind quickly moving out of their way. The party continued yet every eye was now on this corner of the room, silently watching and judging. Human entertainment happened at every gathering, others more brutal and more enjoyable than tonight's, so not everyone had watched what happened to Buffy earlier.

But now...

Rarely did partners in crime, so to speak, slay each other at these functions. Humans yes. Each other rarely. Tonight was obviously going to be one those irregularities.

"In spirit form your breed can feel even the most smallest sensation a thousand fold, but you can't do anything about it can you? You can't hurt each other, you can't love each other, hell you can't SCREW each other. Nothing. You're just a group of clouds or something, right Henri?"

"We're far more superior than something so mundane as what you describe."

"Hmmm. My description was too mundane." Withdrawing the steel tip from the man's throat Angelus waved his rapier in curling patterns. "You're right, it was too mundane." Deliberately he stabbed the sword into Henri's shoulder, watching in satsifaction as a dark, sticky liquid quickly stained the blue material of his suit. "Getting a little antsy? I would be if I were you. Now where was I? Ah, I remember now."

"You can't do anything in spirit form so you need a body. This is where it gets a little ironic, don't you agree Henri?" Pulling out his weapon he tapped it against the floor while Henri held his injured shoulder with one hand. "You feel so much out there but when you steal flesh, nothing. You can't feel a damned thing. Nothing. It's all gone, just the memories stay. So what do you do? You suck everything out of any human you can get."

Looking over his shoulder at Buffy Angelus casually stated "If you had gone with our Henri here, he would've had you sucked completely dry baby. All your pretty human emotions gone until you were nothing more than some bumbling idiot. Then he would've left at the side of some river or highway so that you could either drown or get smashed on the asphalt."

Turning her gaze from him Buffy stared at the banker type named Henri. That was why he was so dead in the eyes. He couldn't feel emotion. He wanted to however. He wanted to feel it badly, so it was an unbreakable cycle with him. He would continue to try and try again, hoping to feel something that her species could: feeling.

"Look at me you shit!" Angelus suddenly roared, causing Buffy to jump. The music suddenly cut off, leaving the room in heavy silence. Running her eyes across the crowd she observed that all movement stopped and all eyes were locked upon this sordid scene. Looking back at him she fully expected to be the object of his verbal rage.

Instead he was completely focused on Henri. The man slowly turned his gaze from Buffy, settling his sight on Angelus again. Holding the rapier inches from Henri's face Angelus snarled "Knowing that you're going to die, you still look at what is mine. Knowing that you've betrayed and offended me, you still have to look at her. You still want to taste her feelings. You want to taste her."

Settling his crystalline gaze upon Buffy again, Henri softly replied "She feels so strongly, so deeply. She finally might be the one for me-"

His wonderfully accented words ended abruptly before giving way to a gurgle. Angelus had given a low growl before skewering the eyes of his guest with the rapier. Henri fell to his knees, clutching his head as blood seeped out from between his fingers. Buffy felt repulsed and shaken at the sight. Even though she had felt such rage against him earlier, she received no pleasure at watching this. Her mind screamed at her to use this time to run away, to leave this place and shut out tonight's trauma. To run far away from this place, to leave before Angelus could touch her with those hands.

Instead she had to stay and watch. She had to.

Flicking the bloody orbs on the floor, Angelus deliberately ground each one under his heel. "You should've taken better care of your body Henri buddy! I mean, it's the vehicle you travel in, without it you're nothing." Wiping his blade on the fallen man's suit Angelus mused "If I were you, the LAST thing I would've done was looked at another's woman. Especially my woman!"

Moving until he stood next to Henri, Angelus gripped his shoulder and leaned down. "You know what I can do. Hell! You saw me in action just this morning, so any other creature would've rather been staked in a hundred places and left out to rot in the sun before even THINKING to look at my human." Slapping his back Angelus moved away. "But not you Henri, you like to walk dangerously don't you?"

Glancing at Buffy Angelus noted the paleness of her skin, the shock and horror mingling in her eyes. Her breath came rapidly while her hands continuously clenched and unclenched. He knew that she wanted to leave, but he could sense that her need to stay overpowered her baser fears. Good. Another lesson that he hoped for her sake she learned was this-the immense power he held over the world around her would never go away. All lived and died by his decree, not hers.

Keeping his back towards the swaying Henri Angelus quietly stated "She is MINE. Do you understand me this time? MINE!"

"Is she?" he foolishly rasped.

Losing the patience to tease and taunt Henri any longer Angelus whirled, lifted his rapier, and easily separated the head from the body. Crimson blood flew everywhere as Henri's eyeless head sailed across the room while his body hit the floor with a muffled thud. Before Buffy's shocked gaze she saw a thin wispy cloud float from the decapitated body and then vanishing like so much smoke.

"Mine."

Tearing her eyes away from the blood splattered floor Buffy felt Angelus weave his hands through her hair. Firmly he pulled her head back while ferociously staring into her face. "You are mine Slayer. All mine. After tonight, you won't ever forget it again. Every little piece of you belongs to me Buff, every piece."

Loosening his grip on her hair Angelus bent his head down and allowed his mouth to touch hers. Numbly she allowed him to taste her, all the while thinking _How did tonight happen? Is anything real? Am I real or is this some strange nightmare caused by food poisoning?_

Helplessly she felt her eyes drift down towards the fallen body of Henri while Angelus continue to sipp from her mouth. The blood from his gaping neck was rapidly pooling on the marble floor in an ever widening circle. The dark splatter of his fluids made grotesque patterns as people began to walk across him, no longer amused by his death. It seemed obscene that he should lay there while everyone continued as if he never existed.

"It shouldn't bother you Slayer. You do this every night, don't tell me that now you have a conscience" Angelus cruelly mocked.

Shaking her head Buffy whispered "I don't do this. I don't torture them in front of a crowd. I'm not like you"

"I'm glad you're not like me. The world can only handle one model of perfection such as myself." Grabbing a hold of her arm Angelus murmured "I've got a little something to show you Slayer, wanna see?"


	20. Chapter 20

Not waiting for an answer, Angelus firmly pulled her behind him, easily moving through a crowd that magically parted before them. Buffy docilely allowed Angelus to take her with him, walking as if through a haze of shock. Of all the things she had imagined for this night, humiliation, rape, and murder never crossed her thoughts.

The music had slowed into a deep, hypnotic boom. Looking over her shoulder, Buffy saw several negligent bodies twisting together in the hungers of arousal. What matter of people were these? As if reading her thoughts, several strangers smiled at her, allowing a glimpse of their true selves to be shown. Now she knew. Demons in disguise.

After all that had happened, she was hardly surprised anymore. That's what demons did, right? Keep company with their kind with a little human entertainment thrown in.

Turning towards Angelus she noticed the way her hand fit snugly into his much larger one. The coolness of his skin was a direct contrast the warmth of her own. She began to feel an disconcerting feeling of heat wrap itself around her as her neck began to pulse.

The bond between them was reasserting itself upon her body, regardless of how her heart hated it. Hearts-at times a worthless contraption to be sure. Buffy would not be going through this if it wasn't for her damned heart loving Angel and not being able to look past her memories. Angelus would not be walking the streets and dragging her to his bed if it was not for her heart.

Just how frigid could his heart be?

Mentally shaking her head Buffy remembered that this vampire held no heart of his own, only hers. Remembering his rape of her body, Buffy felt her soul cry with betrayal. He was not supposed to be like this. No matter what she knew of Angelus, in the secret recesses of her heart, she never believed he would go this far. How could he let them see her? How could he force her to open up and accept his body?

Feeling the tears sting her eyes, Buffy rapidly blinked them away. Pushing her pain deep inside, she straightened her spine and coolly looked forward. She had to be strong, she had to triumph over the cruel games of this vampire. She had to. Angelus glanced over his shoulder to meet the cold eyes of his human lover. His smirk was met with a challenging smirk of her own. Surprise flitted in his black eyes, while an appraising expression soon battled with his smug smile. Deliberately Buffy looked away from Angelus, effectively dismissing him. _Take that you bastard. What did you expect to see? Fear?_

The handsome vampire merely nodded his head, anticipation soon lacing the sadistic smile he graced her with. Gently touching the side of her face, he soon forced her to look at him. "We're almost there lover. Your surprise is my room. I'm sure you'll love it" he pleasantly stated even while his eyes told her the opposite. She merely continued to study a point in the distance over his shoulder with great fascination. His soft laughter rang in her ears, causing a knot of tension to gather within.

Finally turning away from Buffy, he continued to lead them away from the party and towards his own sleeping chamber. Looking back at the smooth lines of muscle in his broad back, Buffy felt as if she had won and lost the first round of this match.

A small voice inside her head wailed, "When will this night end?", even as she continued to keep pace with his long-legged stride. She was wary and a bit nervous of what he had to show her and the closer they came to his room, the more she wished she could bolt out of the door. But damned if she'd let Angelus know it.

He already knew.

Fear, anger, and pain were swirling about the Slayer, flavoring the air she breathed. Angelus' eyes slitted with malevolent pleasure. Tonight he would take another piece away from Angel's little love. It was fucking delicious to play with her. He missed all the time wasted while he had been in exile. What a true master he could have become!

Not that he already was not. But still...

Toying with these human girls were what made his existence glorious. Their feelings, their bodies, their fragility were incomparable. To recreate them for eternity was an impossibility and made this sport all the more enjoyable. Where one was, there was ten more. You could never run out of them. Humans were utterly delightful.

Hearing the quickening of her heartbeat, Angelus felt a rush of power. Humans were plentiful, but there was only one Slayer. At least in Sunnydale. Remembering the exotically beautiful Slayer from the Islands, Angelus recalled how Buffy had died briefly. Uncontrollable rage flooded him as he crushed her slender hand with his own. If she hadn't smashed the bones of the Master herself, he would have done so this night.

Hearing her gasp of pain, Angelus relaxed the punishing hold of her hand. To be angered was wasteful. What was past was not under his control. Besides, she was fated to be his. Did she not come back from death just to eventually give him life again?

Walking through the dim corridor Buffy heard the unabashed sounds of pleasure coming from behind closed doors...and others that were not closed. Hunching her shoulders and screwing her eyes shut, Buffy wanted to get past them as quickly as possible. She could not bear to watch demons, people, or both having sex. It would most likely disgust her, especially after what had just happened out there. Anyways, she shouldn't look-it would be rude and invasive.

Hearing a sharp cry of want, Buffy felt her head slowly come up. _Don't look, don't look_ she silently chanted to no avail. Not wanting to yet being unable to stop, she opened her eyes. Glancing at one of the rooms, her steps suddenly noticeably slowed. It was the same blond and ebony haired couple that sent Buffy scurrying away earlier in the night. She should do the same now, but for some unfathomable reason she could not.

Transfixed she did not notice that Angelus had stopped walking. She never saw him look back at her impatiently. She did not feel him let go of her hand. She never observed the small, lazy smile twist his lips. She did not feel him move to stand behind her. All she saw was them. In all the horrors of this night, there was something so unexpected, so soothing, so SAFE in watching these two people worship each other with lust.

Not hate...

...and not murder...

Angelus held a surprise for her, and she was willing to bet that it was not one that she would relish. Buffy was not ready to follow him. Even if she was willing to face his damnation, at this moment all she could do was visually feast on the two lovers. Two lovers who may be her enemy, who may make murder and hate their creed, but for right now: they were perfection.

The perfection that only two beings enthralled with each other can embody.

The passion in the room was so strong, scorching everything in its' path, including a still-innocent girl named Buffy.

He leaned down behind the writhing woman and languidly licked the perspiration from her back. His hands firmly gripped her lily white hips, while the gleaming flesh of his rod rubbed her bottom. The woman on the bed bucked and moaned in hungry pleasure.

Buffy could feel her chest tighten.

"Do you want it Celeste?" he huskily groaned, already knowing her answer.

"Ah yes...now...do it now..." she panted.

Buffy could feel her stomach burn with a liquid warmth.

"Beg me for it. Beg me good" he rasped.

Arching her neck she panted "Please Anwaar, please fuck me! Please-"

"Fuck you how?" he gutturally cut in.

Buffy could feel her womb clench, her mind silently answering, knowing what the beautiful woman's answer would be.

"In the ass...I want it in my ass..." Celeste groaned while reaching behind to spread the firm flesh of her bottom.

The two unnatural beings sighed with pleasure as he began the oh-so-wanted assault. Buffy could feel her eyes unfocus, wanting to watch Anwaar take his cock and fit into Celeste, but also shocked and a little frightened that he would. It was forbidden, yet it called to her. Hazily she wondered if Angelus do that to her? Would she even fight it?

"She seems to enjoy it, don't you think darling?" Angelus purred. Looking away from the steady thrust of Anwaar's hips, Buffy tried to get her strange confusing desire under control. She had just been raped! How could she ever even think about sex, much less bear to watch two people having anal sex? Much less wonder if her rapist would be the one performing that act with her!

"I asked you a question" he lazily stated, a hard edge creeping into his voice. Angelus held Buffy within the circle of his arms, one arm wrapped around her slender waist and the other crossing between her breasts. He could smell the desire awakening within her abused body. It was too delicious to be possible: the near-virginal Slayer wanted to be buggered!

Buffy neutrally answered "Yes." The pulsing of her neck grew faster and faster, her body crying to nourish him.

"Yes what?" he probed, the gleam in his eye pronouncing the knowledge of her body's instinctive struggle.

Sighing softly, whether from regret or frustration, she elaborated. "Yes, I think she enjoys it. I believe she's having a great time."

Chuckling he squeezed her tighter and mused outloud "I wonder how tight you'll be? Will you be able to take all of me or will I have to let you have just a little?"

Buffy remained silent for a few moments before saying "I don't understand you." _Or myself._

Removing his arms from her, Angelus placed his hand on the back of her neck. Jovially he asked, "What's there to understand Buff?" as he led her away from the lustful escapade of Celeste and Anwaar.

Angered she jerked her head away from his hand. The unexpected feelings of desire vanished once they were away from the two lovers, even while her throat danced with unholy purpose. Shooting a look of pure menace over her shoulder Buffy kept several paces between them. A knot of dread twisted her insides as she saw the massive double doors of Angelus' chamber appear before them. What other horrors did he have planned for her?

 _Could all of this have been avoided?_ she wondered as she pushed open the doors. The room was dark, the only light to be had was from a small table lamp. Cautiously her eyes swept the room, wondering if her _surprise_ was something that could physically get her.

 _Would he have still taken me on the table if I had told him how much he hurt me with Lina?_ she thought as she came to a halt. Turning around she saw him casually leaning against the closed doors, the ever-present smirk firmly in place. Warily she waited, knowing that Angelus would soon tell her what he wanted of her.

Her eyes were wide and watchful, while her hand absently rubbed the site of his mark. Buffy's fear was intoxicating and rich in its' depth. Angelus could hardly contain his wicked mirth at her _surprise_. Maliciousness gleamed in his own eyes as he drank of her. How should he play it out? Make it extremely long or quick, yet painful?

And afterwards, would he sip from her blood again? The sweet elixir could almost be tasted on his tongue again. The Slayer was so delicious, perhaps he would give her a taste himself...

Hmm, decisions...

What just was he to do? Taking an unnecessary sigh Angelus pushed off the doors and strolled towards his human lover.

Lifting her chin, she boldly met his calculating look with her own coldly determined one. Survive. Whatever he chose to dish out, she would endure it and survive. And then Angelus would pay...

"Oooh if looks could kill, eh Slayer?" Giving her a reproachful look Angelus chided Buffy with "Be careful baby-all those dirty looks totally give away any future plans you have for me!" Grabbing her shoulders he turned her around and walked her across the room. With much enthusiasm Angelus amiably chatted, relishing the stiffness of her body.

"Now since you like looking so much, I have a surprise for you that will change the way you think babe." Reaching around her he opened up a door. Gallantly he led her in before himself, keeping a hand on the small of her back. Buffy realized it was the one before the bathing room. Leading her to the small sofa, he seated himself right next to her.

Casually crossing his feet at the ankles and folding his hands over his stomach, Angelus leaned his head against the back. Slanting a look over towards Buffy he saw that she was keeping herself rigidly still. Arching a brow he pleasantly asked "Comfortable?"

"Comfortable? Sure-I'm really comfortable Angelus. In fact the only way I could be anymore comfortable was if I was at home." Buffy's voice oozed with saccharine sweetness as her eyes blazed with dislike, distrust, and a large dose of wariness.

Coldly smiling Angelus shrugged as he leaned forward before standing up. He could feel her gaze upon him as he took the few steps towards the blank, paneled wood. Reaching up, he ran his fingers against the corner where the two walls met. With an audible click it slid back to reveal a panel of monitors. Grabbing a remote Angelus leisurely strolled back to the couch and once more propped his feet on the table. Glancing at Buffy he inquired "Ever watch porn Buff?"

Frowning she quickly answered "No!" while clenching her hands into small fists.

"Really?" Running a fingertip along her bare knee he murmured "Not even once? You've never come across an unlabeled tape and let curiosity get the best of you?"

Yanking his shirt over her knee and dislodging his finger, Buffy felt disconcerted by the course of this conversation. "I said no, didn't I?" she snapped.

Not willing to let it go Angelus commented "Your mother has been single all this time-how lonely she must be. Spending all her time alone in bed, without a man of her own to play with. Masturbation is a poor substitute, but hey! you work with what you got!" Enjoying the mounting outrage on Buffy's face he mused "I bet she has a tape or two laying around in her closet. In fact I'd bet it's under a stack of sweaters: third pile from the right."

Disgust at him caused Buffy to stand up. "If this is supposed to be my surprise, forget it! Your taste definitely sucks."

Rushing towards the door she stopped when she heard him calmly order "Walk out that door and I promise you will NEVER go home again."

Buffy's silence was filled with question. "I think you know what I mean lover."

Without turning around she asked "You really think you can stop me?"

"I won't have to darling. You'll stay for now or you'll stay forever. Your choice."

Sincerity rang in each of his carefully spoken words. Thoughts of being turned brought the prophesy to mind. Slowly turning around Buffy felt a tremor of fear against the handsome demon that somehow became her lover. When he leveled her with a dark look, she could feel the pulse at her neck ferociously throb while feeling the familiar weakness claw at her stomach.

All with a look and a command.

"What are you doing to me?" she confusedly whispered while dragging her feet back to his side. She did not want to be intimate with him in any way. He hurt her-badly. He took and flaunted her in front of strangers, how could her body try to betray her like this? _The bond of master and slave is most painful to the one without power..._ she sadly thought.

Taking a hold of her slim arm Angelus guided Buffy down to the floor next to his feet. Surprise shadowed the lights of her eyes at his action. "I'm only doing what is meant to be Slayer. That's all" he kindly stated, the coldness in his eyes betraying the sentiment behind his words. "Now I was going to save this toy for later, until you were ready-but things change, don't they lover?" Pointing his remote towards the wall, Angelus caused all nine screens to flare to life. A different picture was in each one, but they all had the same thing in common-sex.

Raw, undiluted sex.

Buffy's eyes widened in shock at the explicitness of what she was seeing. Each screen made no mistake of the subject, nor did it disguise the identity of each participant. Letting out a strangled sound, she continued to watch transfixedly at each monitor. In one screen she could see two women having sex, while in another two men were grappling on a wide bed. Without realizing it, Buffy clutched Angelus' leg for support.

One screen zoomed in on the backside of a woman while a man thrust into her from behind. Rapidly his technologically enlarged penis plowed into his bedmate, before spurting a thick liquid all across her bottom. The image zoomed out to show Celeste and Anwaar in a tangle of sweaty limbs and vapid smiles on their faces.

It wasn't just adult films, but actual footage shot in this very house!

Each monitor showed a piece of anatomy or the whole body. A breast, two entwined women, a hairy thigh, a nose mashed into pubic hair-all exposed to the tinted film of black and white. Buffy felt a mixture of fascination and repulsion. There was something so taboo about watching this-but she did not want to watch. Yet she sat there: watching.

All her knowledge about sex had been very basic, each piece coming a bit at a time. Until this weekend. She had believed herself to be very worldly, but as the minutes went by she realized how ignorant she really was.

Now she knew that gay men did not just do it from behind. She saw one woman put her entire fist into another woman. She saw how a woman could be with three men at the same time.

Feeling her stomach churn with sickness, Buffy drew in shallow breaths. Looking down at the carpet, she tried to gather control over her composure. Innocence gone, never to be recaptured again. This seemed to be the surprise that Angelus gave her. Why? Did he think that she would get an illicit thrill to see a middle-aged female getting screwed by a demon with two cocks?

His fingers played with the loose hair that had fallen on her back. Pointing towards the wall, all nine screens suddenly became apart of just one picture. The partial view of a young man's face in ecstasy dominated the image, his mouth falling open in a silent moan.

She could not bear to watch anymore.

Looking back at Angelus Buffy was about to speak when he abruptly lifted her onto his lap. Her struggles ceased when he firmly leaned her against his chest and whispered "Just watch."

"I can't" she rigidly whispered in return, while turning to face him.

Leaning forward to kiss her cheek, Angelus trailed his lips until they met the small shell of her ear. Flicking it once with his tongue, he stated "This is my surprise for you lover. If you don't watch, you'll hurt my feelings. If you hurt my feelings, I'll hurt someone. You don't want that on your conscience, do you?" Leaning back Angelus smiled beautifully, the purity of his face disguising the murderous intent beneath.

"Do you?" he prodded, the smile dissolving from his face.

"No" she said, unwanted tears of anger forming in her eyes. She was the Slayer! The best in all of recorded history-so why was she so weak with Angelus?

Wiping the crystal tears from her pale cheeks, Angelus delicately tasted them. Holding the back of her slim neck in one hand, he drew her forward until his lips touchd hers. Looking into her eyes he murmured "Your tears are so lovely Buff. You know I love your misery, why are you tempting me like this? All you have to do is turn around and watch. Why are you making this so difficult?" Unless.." he paused for a moment, letting the air become heavy with speculation, "...you want to finish what we started."

Shaking her head, she pulled away from his hand. Shifting she made to leave his lap, only to have Angelus clamp his hands around her waist. Beneath her bare bottom Buffy could feel his erection laying thick and heavy within his pants. It made her aware of her vulnerability.

And his power.

She did not like it.

"Now be a good girl and watch."

Drawing her relunctant gaze back to the wall she watched as the picture widened to show two women licking his body. Their long hair trailed along the man's skin, eliciting another sigh of pleasure from him. Occasionally the females broke their heated caresses to kiss each other languorously, their hands never straying from the male flesh before them.

Rigidly Buffy sat there, all the while feeling a sense of dread that this was more than for her mere lust. Who were these people and why was it so important for her to watch?

One of the females straddled the young man's straining penis while the other settled herself over his face. Leaning forward they wrapped their slender arms around each other's waist, undulating on their male partner. With another click of the button the screen zoomed in, the wet sliding of two dueling tongues painting the wall.

Buffy's mouth became dry as the minutes passed. The variety of positions changed, the sounds grew louder, and the lust seemed to be never-ending. Especially between the two women. While he was far from neglected, the passion really seemed to between the females. As they both used their tongues on his cock, it suddenly dawned on Buffy just who they were. They were the two dancing lovers from the foyer.

Immediately following that realization the young man lifted his face to see his two companions greedily engulf him. Buffy's stomach plummeted. It was the waiter from earlier in the evening. Ice began to form in her veins as she continued to watch the screen. The waiter was here.

He saw her.

Buffy was speechless, her mouth could not even begin to form the words of hatred. It all came together for her. Angelus' point to prove was not only for her, but for his supposed rival. He wanted to punish HER and he wanted HIM to know that she belonged to someone else.

Her body began to shake from the staggering shock. "They're so passionate, aren't they?" Angelus' voice came as if from far away.

Passionate? Buffy began to stand up again, this time flinging Angelus' hands away when he tried to stop her. The ice began to melt under the heat of her growing rage. Blindly staring at the screen she felt the paralyzing fury take control of her. Her turbulent emotions had no trouble communicating themselves to her lover.

He gleefully enjoyed them.

"Mia and Rachel. I've known them for what seems like...forever," he drolled. Her shoulders became more rigid by his implication. He smirked while idly turning his ring with his thumb. Continuing to speak as if nothing was wrong Angelus asked "They are quite beautiful, wouldn't you agree?"

She uttered not one solitary sound.

Studying the acrobatic position Rachel had twisted herself in, he stated "They are impossible to resist once they've decided to have you. Even you felt the force of their allure, didn't you?" His pause seemed to shout that there was nothing that he did not know about Buffy.

Angelus noted her clenched fists with much satisfaction. Deciding to turn the knife once more he spoke in a condescending voice "You're quite lucky that you're mine. Otherwise you would feel the real power of their passion."

"Lucky?" she asked with a noticable tremor.

Gesturing with the remote he observed "Our nice waiter seems to be having a ball. I bet he'll be jacking off to this for months." Whistling crudely Angelus chuckled "Now that's something I haven't tried." Craning his dark head to the side he complained "I can't believe they held that one out on me."

Buffy clenched her eyes tightly. So she met two more of his conquests. What was that now? A total of four? Drucilla, Lina, and now Mia and Rachel. How many more? Every fucking female outside this room?!

"Yes sir, our young friend Paul-you did know his name was Paul, didn't you sweetie? I mean you should, since you gave him the **Fuck-Me Vibes**." Goading her he asked in exasperation "Don't tell me that here's another guy whose name you didn't know?"

"You're wrong. I was only nice to him. He was polite to me-I was polite to him. It's called manners. You should get some" she tightly told Angelus.

Ignoring her jab and her denial, he mused "Paul will probably remember this for the rest of his life. Instead of thinking about the hot blonde from the restaurant, he'll remember my grand soiree. He'll thank me a thousand times over for my generous hospitality. Seeing how dejected he was because of your newfound frigidness, I HAD to play Cupid. So what did I do? I invited him to an upscale party because a certain girl wanted to see him there. A certain girl who liked to play games. Who do you think he thought it was?"

Feeling her hatred for him twist and tear her, Buffy's eyes began to cross from rage. How dare he make this her fault!

"Imagine our Paul hurrying home to pull out his best set of clothes, quickly shaving, and probably going heavy on the aftershave. He had to make sure that he looked perfect. Why? All to see you Buffy..." Angelus paused for a tension-filled moment before silkily stating "My, my, my-what you inspire in foolish boys."

Crossing his legs at the ankles, Angelus slouched down on the sofa. "He comes here and waits. And waits. And waits. Finally he sees you! A goofy grin spreads over his face before he wipes it off. No, he can't have that. He can't seem too eager. You know how boys his age try so hard to be men."

Buffy blindly watched as Paul took Mia? Rachel? from behind as the other made her way underneath them both.

"He comes over but then he sees you kissing me! Imagine the shock..." he lazily said. Her face was twisted in a grimace of suffocating anger. She knew how this story would end and she despised Angelus more than ever before.

"Before young Paul can put two and two together, there we are: fucking on the dining room table." Angelus chuckled at the increased intensity of rage he felt from Buffy. "He was about to leave when you should come to comfort him? My lovely little nymphos." Looking back up to the screen he remarked "I'd say that he's forgotten all about you darling. Never let it be said that I take without giving something in return."

Drawling Angelus made the final stab of "He just never knew you were that kind of girl Buff. Hell! I never knew you were that kind of girl."

Whirling around Buffy spat "I'm not that kind of girl! You're the sick fuck who feels threatened by anyone with a dick!" Her outburst was only responded with a nasty smirk. With a cry of pent-up rage she lifted up the coffee table and threw it against the wall of monitors. The table shattered several of the screens while it splintered into jagged pieces.

Blindly grabbing a broken table leg, Buffy flew at Angelus. Straddling him she held the makeshift stake over his chest, her hand shaking from the desire to plunge it into his black heart. Something held her back from destroying this body and ending her torment, but Buffy wanted to so badly. She hated him with an all consuming passion!

He never even blinked.

"Before you kill me lover-I think there's something you should know." Gesturing towards the fractured screen with his chin, Angelus continued. "I forgot one thing about my lovely friends and Paul."

"What?" she demanded through clenched teeth.

Leaning forward he casually asked "Remember how I said he'll probably be jacking off to this for months? Well, I kinda forgot that..." he drew out the moment before finishing "...he'll be dead."

Narrowing her eyes Buffy coldly disputed him with "I don't think so _lover_. Not if you're ash."

Baring his teeth in a grin Angelus smoothly said "I won't be the one dispensing death to Paul. They will."

Buffy imperceptibly drew back.

"You see Mia and Rachel can't get enough of mortal men and women. Fucking your kind is what keeps them going, you know what I mean? I could give you the long drawn out version or the short." Casually shrugging Angelus stated "I think I'll opt for the short since YOU think I don't have very time much left." He mockingly smirked for a brief moment before nonchalontly saying "Paul will just get fucked to death."

Buffy drew in a sharp breath.

Unconcernedly Angelus continued speaking. "It's not a bad way to go though, if you think about it. If I had a choice, fucking or the stake, I'd take fucking." Pausing he blandly asked "You're not offering are you sweetie?"

Narrowing her eyes Buffy growled "Where are they? They're not just down the hall, are they? It'd be too easy..."

Smiling Angelus remained silent.

"Goddamn you! Where are they?!" she shouted into his face.

"You can't kill them Slayer. YOU can't do it."

"Wanna bet?" she snidely asked.

"Go in there with your stakes and see how much damage you do. I'll tell you: nothing. You can't possibly kill them."

"But there is a way, isn't there?"

Rolling his eyes Angelus impatiently exclaimed "Of course there is. Immortality always has a damned escape clause."

"Then tell me" she demanded while pressing her stake closer to his heart.

"I could. It would be complicated, take much effort, not physically but time wise, but..."

"But what?" she impatiently snapped.

"There's another way to stop them and make you a hero. Again."

Buffy waited for his answer.

Angelus merely smiled. Standing up Buffy looked down at Angelus in disgust. "Let me guess. You'll call them off if I do something for you. Right?"

Angelus' smile remained firmly in place as he slouched down further on the sofa.

"Well?" she impatiently snapped.

"You always were smarter than Spike gave you credit for." Locking his cold eyes with hers, he elegantly shrugged. "But then perhaps that's why he's the slowest demon on four wheels and two legs. While I'm-" Pausing he allowed his licentious gaze to rove over Buffy's bare thighs before finishing with "the only one between yours."

Narrowing her eyes in anger Buffy opened her mouth to speak when Angelus suddenly shot off the couch. In less than a split second he had his arm wrapped around her waist, her arm held high up behind her back, and her face a few inches away from the shattered wall of screens.

The table leg clattered harmlessly on the floor as he held her dangerously close to the exposed glass. Nervously Buffy asked "You wanna take it easy? I mean I don't think you want me-"

With his hand wrapped tightly at the base of her neck Angelus growled into her ear "Shut the FUCK up Slayer! You still don't get the point of this exercise, do you?"

Silence.

"Do you?" he spat.

Silence.

"Answer me!"

"I thought you told me to, quote, "Shut the FUCK up", end quote" Buffy blandly answered.

Bitch! Only this worthless scrap of humanity had the ability to drive him into such a blinding rage. He could feel her muscle, bone, and tissue beneath his hand. It would be so easy to end her life. With just one flick of his hand she would be gone. No one would stop him, least of all her. A brief struggle perhaps, but then all his problems would be over.

Slayer gone. Game over.

And just perhaps the night would right itself again and his sanity would not feel strained. Things could be the way they were, the way they surely were, before his mind had become sullied with thoughts of her...

Fixedly staring at the back of Buffy's head, he heard an insiduous voice tempt him to murder. There she stood, so goddamned disdainful, as if it were the worst sort of inconvienence to be even this close to him, even as her tone was flippant. Anger twisted his mouth as he thought _The knife cuts both ways darling: you hate me, I hate you twice as much._

And at this moment he truly did.

He hated her for driving him to the brink of his control. Angelus was now a new man, at least he was trying to be. Not for turning over a new leaf, but for dominating his weaker impulses. The very same impulses that got him into trouble with a certain gypsy tribe a century earlier.

The dissolute vampire of before had been tempered with wisdom and restraint during exile. While Angel allowed the decades to pass in self-pity, Angelus took that time to reflect-to realize where he went wrong. In other words, seeing how he got caught with his pants down and his hands up.

The gypsy girl.

She was quite lovely. Smooth dark skin that flashed so enticingly against his own pale, bare limbs. Silky, long hair black as a moonless night that hung well past her rounded hips. White teeth that flashed as dangerously as his own. Bold yet fearful. Virginal and eager all at once.

He should never have been out there in the middle of the barely-inhabited countryside. Angelus made it a point to stay well within the cosmipolitan confines of the cities, but after catching a glimpse of that enchanting creature he had lost his mind.

The end for him had been at an area fair.

 _"Oh please Angel! I've been an especially good girl." Grabbing his hand with child-like exuberence Druscilla pulled him up the stairs. Skipping down the carpeted hall she flung open the doors to her suite, all the while holding on tightly to him._

 _An eager smile lit up her delicately pallored face as she proudly pointed to various parts of the room. "See! I've made sure those lazy maids made the bed properly and all my toys are off the floor. And, oh look Daddy!" Dragging him across the room Druscilla joyfully asked "Do you see?"_

 _A small smile of amusement curled his lips. "See what, my pet?"_

 _Pointing to the large collection of porcelain dolls she breathed "All of them have heads. Each and every single one of them! Aren't you proud of me?" Turning back to him with a swish of fabric, she rushed on with "I remembered Angel, oh I did! You told me that I was not to ruin your gifts and if I did, you would raise my skirts up and switch me like the naughty girl I was. But see! I haven't been bad, so you won't have to heat my bum!'_

 _Gently touching the soft flesh of her cheek Angelus indulgently replied "I see that love. You've been my most precious little girl, haven't you Druscilla?" Eagerly she nodded her head. "Yes you have. Always doing what you're told to do, isn't that right darling?" Her nod was not as quick as the ones before._

 _Hardening his voice slightly he asked again "You're always a good girl, aren't you?"_

 _Tears began to fill her large blue eyes as her feet began to shuffle guiltily. Looking at the floor she began to sniffle._

" _Druscilla..." he said in a warning tone. She continued to sniffle, while twisting her hands behind her back. "Do ALL the dolls have their heads?"_

" _Well...I...you see..." she clumsily began to explain._

" _Yes or no?" he quietly asked while crossing his arms across his chest._

" _No" she finally sadly whispered._

" _Show me" Angelus sternly demanded._

 _With a heavy step Druscilla carefully removed doll after doll from their gaily painted shelf until finally at the bottom she brought out both parts of the decapitated toy. Holding it behind her back she shuffled her way back to her 'Daddy'._

 _Holding out his hand he silently asked for the doll. With a heavy sigh she gave him the doll and head. It was a small figure, not more than six inches in length. The doll's dress was scarlet in color, ending not more than past the soft dimpled cloth designated as knee. It had been torn to that length, the fabric fraying and jagged._

 _The head stared blankly ahead through eyeless sockets. Its' pale complexion had been replaced with the clumsy but thorough brush strokes of brown paint. Only a spot here and there exposed her true coloring. The before soft blonde hair was now stiff with black paint. Druscilla had destroyed the previous coiffure of upswept ringlets into a ratty freehanging style that exposed the head's unrooted scalp._

 _Grimly looking at his childe Angelus coldly asked "What is the meaning of this Druscilla? Did I not make myself clear enough?"_

" _I'm sorry" she contritely apologized._

" _I'm afraid that is simply not good enough. You have been a very bad little girl and you must be punished."_

" _Yes Angel" she pitifully answered._

" _Yes what?" he incredulously shouted._

 _Tearing away her gaze from the floor Druscilla said "Yes Daddy! I'm sorry Daddy! I don't know...why...I...I'm sorry...I've been bad...I had dreams...frightening ones...and they made me..." Wringing her hands she saw that Angelus' threatening scowl had not altered one bit. "Daddy?"_

 _Before Angelus could speak a droll voice full of feminine amusement broke in. "Still playing Daddy, Angelus? If you're Daddy wouldn't that make me Mommy or even Grandmommy?" Wrinkling her brow Darla mused "That just doesn't sit quite as well. Hmm..." shrugging she blithely said "Male supremacy at play again. Hardly fair but at least we ALL don't fall for it."_

 _Turning towards the source of her voice Angelus coolly observed her dashing figure. Dressed in a delicate shade of lilac with ebony piping along the wrist length sleeves, Darla was dressed at the height of Parisian fashion. Completely out of place in this remote area but all the more intimidating for it. "I see you've made yourself completely at home, my dear. Even so far as to enter these particular apartments without invite. Rather rude of you, wouldn't you agree?"_

 _Sauntering in the room she shrugged a saucy shoulder. Carefully settling herself onto the edge of the bed Darla replied "Don't put on those airs with me Angelus! This is my house as much as yours and I will go where I please." Motioning towards the silent but ever watchful Druscilla she remarked "Why do you persist on playing these perverted little games with her? Is it not enough that you drove the chit insane? I hardly think William, or is it Spike now?, will appreciate your_ _ **loving**_ _attention to his little love. Where is the charming Spike?"_

" _Mind your own affairs Darla" he softly warned._

" _Oh Angel, surely there's no harm in an observation or two."_

 _Angelus merely continued to imperiously stare down his nose, daring her to continue with her 'harmless' observations._

 _The droll smile faded to be replaced by a wary stare. Pausing for a tension filled moment Darla finally inclined her head. "I beg forgiveness for any insult I may have unintentionally inflicted."_

 _Piercing her with a final stare Angelus graciously inclined his head. "Do not worry yourself further Darla. As a guest," he intentionally stressed the word 'guest', "you may be unaware of certain rules." Wolfishly smiling he assured her with "I'll be more than happy to explain our customs to you personally."_

" _I can hardly wait" Darla murmured. The unspoken message clearly stated the opposite. Suddenly changing her tone she winningly smiled at her own desecrated angel and asked "You will allow her to attend the fair with us, will you not? It would be far too cruel of you to deny her. Afterall, it was just one, itty, bitty doll."_

" _One doll, yes. But a doll that nonetheless has been damaged irrevocably."_

" _True. But other than this infraction, has she not been obedient?"_

" _Her obedience is exactly what is in question." Slanting a glance at Druscilla, he noticed that her face had suddenly become paler than normal. She began chewing on her lip as her eyes took on a faraway glaze. "She will not be allowed to attend the fair. Instead she must remain sequestered here in her room, kneeling in penance."_

 _Making a moue of impatience Darla asked "Must you take such a sanctimonious attitude? One would think that you were God-"_

" _Oh but you see Darla, to this sullied bride of Christ: I AM God" Angelus ferverently spoke._

 _Druscilla's eyes focused once more, desperately searching for her sire. Seeing him she rushed towards him and clutched his arm, surprising the two vampires. "I will stay, but you must stay also! You cannot go-"_

 _Before she could finish her babbled statement Angelus slapped her viciously, knocking her to the ground. "I CANNOT go?! You dare to dictate to me, your master, what I can and cannot do!" Brutishly kicking her once in the stomach, he squatted down and pulled her up by her hair. Shaking her once he coldly spat out "You will stay in this room for a week with no dinner and I expect you to stay on your knees until I come for you."_

 _Sobbing Druscilla pleaded with him "Please don't go. You don't understand..." her words ended in a gurgle. Angelus released his grip of her hair and instead wrapped his hands around her neck. He could not believe the stubborness in which she still continued to talk. While hardly more than a fractured whisper she continued to beg him to stay. Minutes passed until the sickening sound of cartiledge crushing sounded._

 _Yet even still Druscilla mouthed the words "Do not go."_

 _Throwing her down in disgust Angelus stood up. "You have severely disappointed me Druscilla. I thought you better behaved than this. How could you shame me in front of company?" Turning on his heel Angelus headed for the door._

 _Gracefully standing up Darla knelt by the fallen vampiress. Smoothing back the tangled curls she soothingly murmured "I shall send William to you-"_

 _Curtly Angelus barked "You will do nothing of the sort! He is not to see her until I have decided her punishment is at an end." Pinning his 'daughter' with a threatening glare he promised "And believe me darling, it will not be for quite some time." Looking at Darla's perturbed expression he stated "Let them both be punished. Perhaps next time Spike will take more of an interest in her behavior, instead of spending the day carousing at the local brothel. Then perhaps I will not solely be left to her discipline."_

" _And who sent him to the brothel Angel?" Darla archly asked._

 _Grimly smiling Angelus remained silent, giving his answer with an arch of a brow and a slight bow. "I thought so" she murmured in disgust._

" _There are things here that you have no comprehension of Darla. I've shown far more patience towards you than is my wont, simply out of respect, but trust me darling Darla-my patience is at an end!"_

 _Directing his attention towards Druscilla he uncerimoniously barked "On your knees now!" Holding his gaze a second longer, Darla helped Druscilla up. Tears of blood continued to roll down her ravaged cheeks, the skin of her neck depressed in a most unnatural fashion, while she continued to mouth the same words over and over. Getting up Darla patted Druscilla's shoulder, a frown of dislike marring the pure lines of her etheral face._

 _Satisfied with his childe's posture of penance Angelus politely inquired "Are you ready to go my dear?"_

 _Accepting his proffered arm Darla waspishly stated "You are an overbearing pig Angelus! It is no wonder why I do not visit you more often-you're a beast!"_

" _A beast to be sure, but THE beast in command. That is the defining quality is it not?" Escorting his shrewish relative Angelus looked over his shoulder, satisfied with what he saw. Druscilla was faithfully kneeling on the floor, her eyes locked on a portrait of himself, complete with requisite somber robes._

It was the last time he saw her until a matter of weeks ago.

Druscilla had known of his immenent fall and he being the arrogant (and still arrogant) fool that he was, he had merely brushed her warnings aside as bad behavior. The rest was as they say-history. He had fallen and fallen into grace hard. Angel had come back with blood permanently stained on his hands, while he had to suffer under such nauseating, useless guilt.

It was rather ironic, this much he could admit to.

He had freely dispensed his little Dru to penance, unknowing that he would have to exist under such an odious practice for nearly a century.

As delightful as his gypsy had been, it had hardly been worth it. Then again, how was he to know at the time?

Shaking his head from the memories Angelus focused on the present. Buffy's neck was so incredibly fragile, ridiculously tiny in his large hand-almost the size of a child's. It would be so easy, so deliciously merciful on them both...

The madness of jealousy clawed at him relentlessly. Everything within him raged at this mortal coil he had been thrust into. _She will be your downfall. The Slayer will break your tenuous hold on sanity. End it!_

His only passion and his only weakness: mortal women. To feed off of them for one moment, for one night was one thing. To involve himself in their lives was something entirely different. Yet as much as he knew that, why then was he following in his old footsteps?

 _Angel loved the Slayer and she him. I want, no NEED, to break her before I rip the life from her. I want to rub the prick's face in her downfall. I want to destroy all there is of Angel and Buffy._

She was Angel's whore and still was if her contrary heart was any indication.

He only played with her because of her status in Angel's life. She held no real allure for him beyond her pretty little body. As lovely as she was, he had tasted women who were far more beautiful. So why did she have this power over his thoughts?

Over his very sanity?

His actions tonight were very similar to what he had done to Lina many years ago. Lina. Even after all these years he still had to throw a dig at her. Only this time he used Buffy far more gently than he had his former mistress. _Did she appreciate the walk down memory lane?_ he casually wondered. Lina had betrayed him as well, only far more worse than Buffy's little flirtation this night.

Buffy wore her fear of his sex blatantly. As the moments passed he could feel the cold fear lap at the edges of his thoughts. She would not relish being in his bed for some time to come. No matter. If he wished her there, she would find herself sprawled naked and well fucked before the night was through.

Didn't she realize that she had brought this onto herself? She had one duty and one duty only: chastity to all others except him. Faithfulness, was the concept foreign to her? He had been gone from her bed only one night before she had cast her deceitful eyes elsewhere.

Clenching his jaw Angelus tightened his hold when Buffy began trying to move her neck away. How could he think her any different from all others? She could never be trusted. Ever. She served the enemy and she slept in a bed tainted with purity. Beyond that, she was a clever little mortal full of her own self-importance and beauty. How long before she tried to pull the horns over him?

 _I'll see her dead first._

Tonight had cost him much in temperance and patience. Somehow along the way he had lost control. Control he could NOT afford to lose.

Everything he had done had been for her, not him. The glimpse of hedonism, the bloodletting, the fucking, all for her. To show her how much she belonged to him-Angelus. His ravenous hunger in face of her fickleness made him uneasy. _Remember what she is here for. Remember your ultimate goal regarding this little lover of yours: death. Regardless of this unheard of bond between the two of you, regardless of what she makes you feel._ _ **Especially**_ _because of what she makes you feel. There can be only one ending to this chapter in your existence: death. Either hers or yours. Watch yourself._

Hearing the logic of his thoughts, Angelus felt his equalibrium return. Grimly smiling he leaned down and kissed Buffy's shoulder, pulling his shirt down to reveal her soft skin. Her ragged sigh held fear and a bit of unwanted arousal. Good.

This time would be different. He would make it so. This time he would not be so easily led by his cock, no matter how pretty the feline. He would remain in control and not allow himself to become lost in the madness of obsession.

Never did he acknowledge the thoughts of turning her that had been plaguing him for several days. Nor did he acknowledge the thoughts that perhaps his obsession had begun long before, and that there was something here that he had never tasted before.

No, he could only take comfort in his supreme arrogance that if he willed something so, it was. And to his mind Buffy had quite some time before he tired of her.

This only meant that he had much to do before she broke.

No, Angelus would not fall into that trap again.

 _Just fall into mine little girl, fall into mine._

"Buff, have you had enough time to get my point yet?" he throatily asked as he tasted her shoulder again. "Is it clear to you now baby?"

Anger had made its' nest within her breast before fleeing. Anger could only serve a murky purpose and as of yet, had done nothing but cause her more grief. What other choice did she have? In this short weekend he proved over and over again that he could and would beat her at these-these- _games_. A few minutes ago she had desperately wanted to plunge a table leg through his chest, and now she was inches from disfigurement.

Just that quickly.

Each dealng with this monster made her feel more like the child he constantly accused her of being. Like a dizzy pendulum she swung between such extremes in emotion. From joy, to fury, to passion, to hate, and all with little effort from his part. She believed Angelus to unstable, but now perhaps it was she. Maybe. At any token, it seemed that only time could grant her the skills she needed against this libertine, unstable or not.

Glancing at the fractured glass inches from her face, Buffy despaired for a tiny moment. How did it get to this? _Go stomping in a devil's tramping ground, you're bound to come away with a bit of his mark on your shoes..._ One of her grandmother's sayings floated in her mind before fading away. Eyeing the jagged shard Buffy knew that if she even flinched away from his hand again, the glass would undoubtedly pierce her skin.

Pierce, rend, and tear her face just like he's done to her existence...

Buffy couldn't bear to think the rest of her possibly short life would be spent like this. Soon she would gain an upper hand-she HAD to. Until then... Closing her eyes briefly Buffy silently nodded.

 _Why am I not surprised?_ he smugly thought as he slowly released her arm. In a voice full of male triumph Angelus murmured "Good" before biting down on the side of her neck. Not with too much pressure but enough to cause Buffy to softly cry aloud. Taking a few steps back he pulled her slight form with him, forcing her body to press tightly against his own. Allowing his lips to part Angelus flicked his tongue in a teasing caress, enjoying Buffy's useless mental struggles. He won so long ago, yet she still believed she had a chance.

Pity.

For her.

A thousand thoughts and tastes flavored his mind as he thought of her latest sacrifice-of her first punishment. A punishment that she survived so well and it still wasn't over. Briefly his eyes flickered up to the fractured screen. Paul was busy entering Mia from behind before leaving her and entering Rachel from behind as well. Smirking he nipped Buffy sharply, enjoying her stir of startlement. Closing his dark eyes he allowed the momentum of his thoughts to color him a world filled with her.

 _Tousled blonde hair...tense limbs...pleading eyes...anguished words of misplaced trust...sharp daggers poisoned with fear...tattered pride...acceptance..._

Moaning with male pleasure he could feel his loins draw tight with the intensity of the moment. Temporarily forgetting the minutes of past contemplation, he fell deeply into the pleasures of human female flesh. Languorously savoring her body against his, Angelus continued to lick and nibble on her fear and desire. _**Yes**_ he fiercely thought as she gasped, the tiny whimper of dismay causing him to smile.

Buffy's head lay limply back against Angelus' bare chest. Her body felt heavy and lethargic as she felt him tasting her, relishing her flesh as if it were merely an appetizer before a lavish banquet. She could feel his blunt teeth scrape against a small patch of skin over and over again before laving it with the rough fabric of his tongue. She could feel the silk of his dark hair brush against her own locks, mingling the two, each clinging to the other in a chaotic pattern of need.

 _Much as I do with this creature_ she vaguely thought.

Buffy could hear her heart speed in rhythm, her adrenaline rushing to all points of her body, fear fighting with flight. Her muscles twitched with indecision while her pulses throbbed in sick anticipation. As a deep purr filled her ears with primal music Buffy felt her head drop to her chest, her neck muscles acquiescing to its' own desires even as Angelus fingers still bit into her flesh.

Again and again and again...

Again he bit her, again he tasted her, again he stole from her.

Buffy could feel Angelus' shirt slide from her body, traveling against her shaky limbs until it lay in a graceless puddle of linen at her feet. Goosebumps stood out sharply in contrast against the golden tone of her skin. She crossed her arms over her breasts as she felt each tremor, each quiver. There could be no question as to what Angelus wanted from her.

There was also no question of this: she was scared. God damn it all, but she was terrified! The fear viciously tore her apart, savagely feasting on each insecurity, on each doubt, leaving her as the inexperienced girl that she was.

Slayers were supposed to be above all weaknesses weren't they?

Slayers were supposed to be flawless, meeting and defeating evil within moments. They were supposed to above the petty traps that plagued the rest of humankind. They were not supposed to be embroiled in the machinations of demons, nor were they supposed to be standing naked in front of one.

As the Slayer she was supposed to be able to stop Angelus from being able to burn her friends alive. She should have been able to see it ahead of time and stopped him.

As the Slayer she was supposed to have been able to thrown Angelus' deal in his face, keeping her purity in tact.

As the Slayer she would never have been on her knees in the bathroom with Angelus' cock shoved deep in her mouth, disgracing herself and all Slayers before her.

As the Slayer she would never have been raped on a table in the middle of that GODDAMNED room! She should never have been in that situation to begin with.

As the Slayer she was supposed to be above all that.

Supposed to be. Maybe if this was a TV show, she'd be that strong. All strength, no flaws.

In an hour tops she would have found a way out of this. Maybe Willow would have hacked into someone's mainframe causing the whole building to go dark, Giles would have found some prophesy on how Angelus' dick would fall off amazingly before penetration, she'd probably wipe out the whole pack of demons (including him, but of course with that requisite tear in her eye, not for him but for Angel) by herself, leave the building, reach the library just as Xander came back from his donut run, sit down with the gang while they gave a sigh of relief (Wow! That was close!), and all before curfew.

 _What new hijinks would Buffy and the Slayerettes find the next episode? Stay tuned for next week's Buffy the Vampire Slayer..._ What a joke-but right now, it would be nice.

But not now in this lifetime. It's simply not in the script for her. Well, except for this: season's been canceled with no option for renewal.

In this room the Slayer was fallen once more. Who would weep for her now? What tears would flow that had not already fallen? She had damned herself many weeks ago and she would most likely damn herself all the way to her grave.

The hypnotic purr echoed roughly in her ear, reminding her of what Angelus wanted. _You always were smarter than Spike gave you credit..._ Why couldn't there be cameras and a crew here getting ready to set up for the next shot? Why did the only cameras have to be shooting Paul with those two inhuman creatures?

Her breath quickened when he touched her back with the tips of his elegant fingers. Gently he ran his hands along the lines of her sides, resting a moment to squeeze the slight swell of her hips. Buffy's pulse raced a staccato beat when she felt Angelus turn her to face him. Nausea roiled in the pit of her stomach as her helplessness hit her. She could not let Angelus' misplaced jealousy cost a young man his life.

Even as she thought this Buffy tipped her chin up and brusquely stated "Make them stop so we can just get this over with."

A moment passed as he simply stared at her. Flaring his nostrils Angelus rolled his head back and studied the ceiling in seeming fascination. Never let it be said that his Buffy was not a royal pain. Yes, she was the worst sort of nuisance but that could be part of the fun-sometimes. A twisted bit of fun to be sure, but amusement nonetheless.

Sometimes.

"Still giving orders sweet?" he asked with a slight edge to his voice.

Mutinously she kept her chin high, all the while watching him with less than friendly eyes. Allowing his own lids to become hooded Angelus casually stepped back from her and nimbly strolled back to the couch. Picking up the remote he loosely held it in his hand. Coming back to Buffy he crossed his arms over his chest and merely stared at her.

Another minute passed in silence before Angelus let out a humorless laugh. All the while keeping his distant gaze on her he slowly circled Buffy. Raking her nude figure with an insolent study of concentration, Angelus mirthfully stated "Baby you are SO not even with the program!" Tsking he murmured with regret "What am I to do with you?"

Prowling in a circle about her he continued. "All you think I want is a roll in the sack with you. YOU think that if YOU say 'Okay, you can fuck me now' I'll just go 'Aww, shucks! Gee, Buffy I can't believe it. You would really let me do it, would ya?'" Pinning her with a lethal stare he growled "What are you bitch-stupid?"

Staring at him with narrowed eyes Buffy bit out "Don't call me that."

"What? Bitch? You don't like that?" Making a great show of absently rubbing his chin Angelus nodded before simply saying "I'll make sure to remember that... _bitch_."

Feeling her temper rise again Buffy blithely sang "Sticks and stones Angelus, sticks and stones."

"I'd worry more about me breaking your bones Buff" he sharply said. Continuing in a softer voice Angelus said "Now, let me repeat: what am I to do with you?" Coming forward he lightly touched her cheek and rubbed his finger in a mocking caress meant to cause more discomfort than relief.

Buffy brought her hand up and put it on his. Squeezing his finger she tried to dislodge it when the glint of silver caught his eye. Looking down he saw a pair of identical rings, one as tiny as a child's and the other made to fit a larger man's hand. Taking her palm in his, Angelus felt a bit of wickedness course through him.

 _With this ring I thee bed,  
With this body I thee dishonor,  
With this love I thee destroy  
Willst thou have me as your master and mate?_

Were those not their vows-his for Buffy? To cherish, disgrace, and eventually slay. To slay the Slayer was a given but first he must slay the guardian. He WOULD completely erase the stain that was his weaker self. He WOULD annihilate him, and Buffy WOULD deal the killing stroke. _Angel will soon be but a memory to you darling, a pale distant memory._

Wolfishly he bared his teeth in a grin and stated "You wore it. You went home and put this ring on because I told you to, isn't that right?"

When she didn't answer he said "Think of young, helpless Paul over there." With the flick of a button the volume rose, soon filling the air with heavy pants and moans.

Hating to hear the oblivious Paul engaging in his own death, Buffy made for the remote. Instantly Angelus held it our of her reach. Despising the smug look on his handsome face Buffy pulled her hand away. "What do you think?!" she all but yelled at him.

Quickly and sharply he slapped her cheek. Muting the volume he watched as she gingerly touched her face. "Your tone does not please me lover" Angelus quietly said.

Gritting her teeth Buffy reminded herself _Play by his rules...don't lose your cool...survive tonight_ Finally she said "Yes."

"Yes what?" he smoothly asked as he moved her hand away, replacing it with his own.

Looking away from him she stated in a measured voice "I put on my ring because you told me to Angelus. I did not want to make you...angry." _Dick_

"You care about making me angry" he replied flatly.

Biting back a sharp retort Buffy simply said "Yes."

"You want to keep me happy, do you? Then why are we here Buff?" Angelus purred while rubbing her reddened cheek with his finger.

"I don't know."

Tapping her cheek Angelus slowly spoke. "Yes-you-do."

"Paul-" she began.

"That's right! Paul!" Clamping his hand around her wrist Angelus quickly strode out of the tiny room into his much larger bedroom. Flinging her away he raised his arms high and shouted "PAUL! MOTHERFUCKING-I'M SUCH A NICE GUY-PAUL! WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A ROSE-PAUL!" Violently jerking his arms down Angelus made his way across the room and picked up an iridescent orb. "OH LOOK! YOU'VE CUT YOUR FINGER! HERE LET ME PUT THIS BAND-AID ON YOU. WHILE I'M AT IT, WHY DON'T YOU LET ME PUT MY DICK ON YOU-PAUL!"

Buffy's eyes widened as her mind went blank. He was in such a maddened fit of rage. His fury touched everything within its' path-including her. Carefully standing up she took one step forward but immediately stopped when Angelus immediately hissed "Don't you take one more FUCKING step Buffy! Not ONE FUCKING STEP!"

Flinching from the hatred in his eyes Buffy uncomfortably looked away from him. Instead she blindly studied a heavily carved dressing screen. Vaguely she thought _He called me Buffy. Not Buff, but Buffy._

Her thoughts were quickly brought back to her enraged lover as he continued shouting. "GEE BUFF-MAYBE IT'S JUST ME, BUT YOU SEEM TO CARE AN AWFUL LOT ABOUT THIS GUY PAUL! WHY IS THAT?"

"It's my job to care. Stop shouting."

Tightly clenching the orb in one hand Angelus merely yelled louder. "AM I TOO LOUD FOR YOU BUFF? I WOULDN'T WANT TO OFFEND YOU!"

Feeling her temper fray Buffy shouted back "Stop it!"

"NO!"

Taking a deep breath Buffy calmly stated "Angelus, I don't want Paul to die. I'll do whatever you want me to do, but...he's running out of time, isn't he? He can't go for much longer. He's a good person, he's innocent, please..."

"More reason for him to die sweetie" Angelus unemotionally stated.

She stared at him for a moment in angered disbelief. "What do you want from me? I don't understand-spit it out! What do you want?!"

Lowering his voice until it was a menacing whisper Angelus said "You don't understand...but you said you did. I guess you lied. Why do all of you lie?"

Stumped for an answer Buffy's brow wrinkled and her mouth opened slightly. What was he talking about?

"Let me see if I can make myself more clear." Rubbing his thumb over the crystal orb's surface he queried "What made you feel worse tonight lover: my fucking you or Paul seeing you?"

Buffy's features froze into a mask. Numbly she said "You raping me."

Arching a brow he asked "So you're not bothered that Mr. Sunshine over there saw you?"

"Of course I am!"

Pouncing on her he stated "So you do care what he thinks of you. You care so much over what HE thinks of you, but you don't give a damn about what I think."

"You're twisting my words, that's not what I said-"

"But it is darling!" Softening his voice Angelus casually asked "You like him don't you? If I had never come to this god-forsaken town, you'd want someone like him. I bet you already thought it, at least once."

Shaking her head Buffy felt the noose tighten around her neck. "No."

"BULLSHIT! Don't FUCKING lie to me!" Aiming at the fireplace he threw the hapless piece of decoration against the grate, instantly shattering it to a thousand pieces.

Buffy protectively held her arms over her face as the orb hit. She still felt the sharp sting of the glass bite into her shoulder and forearm. Before she could move Buffy heard the stomp of his feet come towards her. Roughly she was picked up and held up to eye-level with an enraged vampire. "Oh look baby-I cut you. You might need some band-aids. Do you want me to get Mr. Paul to give you some more?" Angelus all but growled.

"No!"

He shook her once. "No really, Buff-I'm sure he'll be happy to oblige you."

"Angelus! Stop it!" Buffy could not stand to hear his rant any longer. Something inside her stirred in awareness. Angelus' rage held something more, she could feel it. An innocent encounter with a waiter had turned into something so ugly in his mind, that he was lashing out at the world for it.

 _Lady Fiona_

She wanted to make it stop, and not for the same reasons as before. Not wanting to explore these new motives or her complete reversal of emotion, Buffy let instinct take over. "Please, please stop it. No more."

The ache in her voice gave Angelus pause.

Encouraged she continued. "I'm sorry Angelus, I'm so sorry! I swear to you, I never wanted him. I've only wanted you. I would never... "

"Aww, the Slayer sounds so humble," he sneered, "Think you can twist me around your finger, love?"

"I'm not trying-" she quickly attempted to explain.

"Then **what** are you doing?" Briskly walking towards his bed, Angelus roughly tossed Buffy onto it. Before she could fight her way to an upright position he pounced on her. Straddling her body he pinned her wrists down and leaned closely to her frightened face. "You're trying to trick me with this 'I'm sorry' shit! I'm not a idiot lover! You know what I want-just say it!"

Battling her fear Buffy cried "I can't win with you! No matter what I do-I can't win!" Pain pierced her heart, making it hard for her to breath. Arching slightly she felt her blood roping and coiling through her body, burning her with its' elixir. It was as if admitting to her submissiveness unleashed a newfound way to proclaim it loudly to the one above her.

 _I can't...I can't feel this way...he's taken too much from me...I can't be this weak...I can't...Oh God, I am...I don't want to be...I CAN'T!_

"You're just getting that Slayer?" he goaded.

Infuriated beyond endurance Buffy simply spit in his face. Angelus did not move a muscle. Feeling a bit of satisfaction she watched her saliva slowly slide down his cheek-only to plop right onto her throat. A sound of dismay broke from her throat before it was choked off.

Purring Angelus said "You see? No matter what you do Buff, you can't beat me. You strike at me, you will only injure yourself."

"Then why do you even bother playing if I'll always lose?" she bitterly asked, disliking the feel of spit on her body and hating the thought that his words might be true. And hating the burn that drummed in her veins, damning the entire night and damning him for not being Angel.

"Because eternity is a long time darling. I've got to do something to fill up the nights." Hardening his voice Angelus said "Now this isn't a game: all your sorry's don't mean dick to me. Not if you're holding back from me."

"Holding back?! What am I holding back?!"

"Yourself Buff. You're holding back apart of yourself. Like now-you're scared shitless but you still mouth off, you still wanna act like you're still in charge."

"Really? I'm still acting like I'm charge-that's why I'm under you. Geez, how do I manage that?"

His lips curved in a small smile while his eyes remained empty. "There you go again. You're still mouthing off."

Their gazes locked for several moments. Finally she lowered her lids in defeat. "Okay, I'm mouthing off. So what?" Buffy asked in a tired voice.

Moving in between her legs Angelus watched as she tensed. "Scared aren't you?"

Buffy squarely met his gaze with her own while locking up her jaw.

Cocking his head to the side Angelus asked "Do I make you nervous? Are you scared that I'll force myself on you again?" Deliberately rubbing himself against her he mockingly asked "Are you scared that you'll like it?"

Buffy remained silent.

"C'mon Slayer! Tell me!" Lowering his voice to dangerous softness he asked "Tell me why you like Paul more than you like me. I want to know why you saved all your smiles for him and left none for me."

Closing her eyes she merely shook her head, in denial or disgust neither were sure.

"You won't admit anything to me, will you? You won't tell me what I want to know, what I've wanted to know all night, will you?" Giving her a few moments he surprisingly said "Fine" and released her wrists. Agilely jumping off the bed he threw over his shoulder. "Go home Buff."

Sitting up she watched as he walked away from the bed. Soon he threw open the doors to his dressing room and disappeared from view. Clutching an exotic print sheet to her breasts Buffy held her breath for a moment before expelling it in a loud rush. Drawing her knees to her chest she shakily ran a hand over her brow, moving some hair out of her face. In a split second something dawned on her.

He accused her of holding back from him and he was right.

He wanted her to let him in further. He wanted her to tell him how much the thought of him being with another woman killed her. He wanted her to tell him that no other could turn her head.

He wanted her to tell him that he was as important as Angel.

 _He's not. He's a stranger in Angel's body. He stole from us, from Angel and I, and he still wants more. How can I give it to him? What do I do now?_ She couldn't sit on the bed forever. Angelus had given her a reprieve but at what price? As long as he was angry she could deal with it, but this sudden change of temperment left her completely bewildered. Angelus never gave up. He set her and Paul up and now he was letting her go. _This isn't right. He didn't say anything about Paul._

Taking another breath Buffy wrapped the sheet around her and crept off the bed. Trailing several feet of soft fabric behind her she walked towards the light that fell against the shadowed floor. She felt a moment's bit of qualm before brushing it aside. Entering into the room she paused for a moment as she watched Angelus.

The muscles of his back flexed as he lifted his arms into a black shirt. The remnants of Armani were gone to be replaced by supple leather and silk. Tucking his shirt into his leather pants he perused a row of coiled belts before picking one out. Allowing it to unroll he efficiently looped it and had it buckled within seconds. Walking further into the room he choose a pair of black urban boots and sat on a small bench before sliding them on his fabric-covered feet.

Quickly standing up he moved until he was but a few feet away from a silent Buffy. He fingered several black dusters before settling on one. Slipping it off the hanger he laid it across a wooden valet before he briskly walked past her. The air from his body brushed against her, charged with electricity. She awkwardly waited, unsure of how to broach her next subject; unsure of what he would do next. Within moments he was back, his hair freshly wet and spiked. Slipping on his coat he turned off the light and was half-way across the room when Buffy said "This isn't over." It wasn't what she thought she'd say at first, and it WAS avoiding the subject, but his next statement sent any other thoughts out of her mind.

"It is. Go home." he neutrally ordered as he continued towards the door.

Seeing that he planned on walking away from her, Buffy ran across the room, grabbed his arm and forced him to face her. Angelus' anger was evident with the muted growl he gave. "It isn't over. Where are you going?" she demanded. Her awkwardness left her as an unpleasant thought began forming in her mind.

Smirking he smoothly said "None of your fucking business...lover."

As he moved past her again she boldly pushed him back before growling herself. "You're the one who talked about deals-well let's deal. Paul's life for what?"

"I never said a word about deals-you did. All I said is that you weren't as stupid as Spike thought." Pointedly looking at her arm on his he revised "Now I'm not so sure."

"Angelus are you going to hunt?" she asked bluntly, praying his answer would be no, but knowing otherwise.

Letting out a bark of laughter Angelus said "Aren't you the little woman?! Next you'll be telling me not go out with the boys." Sarcastically he scolded "For shame Slayer..."

In a steely voice she warned "I'm not going to let you hunt."

"Let me?! You're not going to LET me?" he incredulously asked. "Since when do you have a say in what I do?" Shaking her off his arm he sneered "Get the fuck out of here Slayer before I throw you out."

Shoving past her Angelus was completely taken by surprise when not only did Buffy plant herself in front of him, but also punched him in the chin. When he moved to grab her by the shoulders Buffy nimbly and quickly sidestepped him. Staring at her in a mixture of amazement and ire Angelus asked "Are you out of your mind? What the hell do you think you're doing? I could kill you little girl, or have you forgotten who I am?" His fists were tightly clenched, wanting to feel her flesh beneath their onslaught.

"You could try" she stated flatly, expecting him to try to do just that if the fury on his face was any indication.

Taking her measure for several moments Angelus finally relaxed his fists. Smirking he mused "Looks like my bitch has a little fire now. I wonder why...could it be that the martyr is back? A few minutes ago I had to endure the company of a whiny brat: 'I don't know! What do you want from me? Why?'" he mimicked in falsetto. "Now you're willing to grow a pair just to save their souls. Ain't it classic..." he drawled.

Ignoring his jibes Buffy said "No hunting on my watch, got it?"

"Oh, is that your way of telling me what you don't know won't hurt you?" he slyly asked.

"I think you know what I mean." Steeling herself for another bout of his rage Buffy stated "I'm not going to let Paul die. If you don't tell me, I'll find them myself."

Lifting a brow Angelus merely shrugged. Hesitating another second Buffy turned away and quickly strode towards his closet. She wasn't going to go back out there with just a sheet. Entering his closet she instinctively found the light switch and turned towards the impeccable row of shirts. Yanking one off the hanger she hurriedly fumbled with the buttons and dropped her sheet before slipping the soft white linen over her body. Quickly she rebuttoned the shirt while silently thinking _Why do they put the buttons on the wrong side?_

Scanning the room Buffy did not see Angelus. Running across the room she slipped into the empty monitor room and picked up her makeshift table leg stake. Giving one last look at the damaged screen she saw Paul. His face was contorted in an expression of extreme bliss. _I'll find you. I won't let him do this to you._

Making her way towards the chamber door, she still did not see Angelus. Slipping out the door she felt him before seeing him. He was casually leaning one shoulder against the paneled hallway wall. Clutching her stake tightly Buffy walked forward, ignoring his mocking gaze. As she brushed past him he wished her "Good luck."

As she approached the first door Buffy steeled herself for whatever might be within. Firmly gripping the knob she opened the door and saw lewdness in the flesh. Despite the growls of irritation she scanned the room for any hint or sight of Paul and the two demonesses. Nothing.

Behind her she heard a low chuckle of derision.

Hardening her mind against Angelus she continued to the next door...

...and the next...

...and the next.

In each room Buffy saw many things that she would have much preferred never seeing in her life but none of them were the ones she was seeking. Open, scan, enter, leave. Open, scan, enter, leave. Each repetition brought ire, innuendo, or invitation. Each repetition brought Angelus a step closer to her, his damning whispers of her failure echoing loudly in her ears. The music and empty laughter loomed closer and yet she still failed to find him.

Buffy paused at the entryway. Her cheeks burned with shame and her heart ached from a good dose of pain as she looked out onto the table. _Why Angelus? Why?_ Would these creatures taunt her with the ravishment? Would their eyes tear away this meager piece of clothing, leaving her as naked as she had been?

"You don't have to go out there Slayer" a soft seductive voice whispered. Buffy stiffened as she felt Angelus place his hands on her shoulders. Nuzzling her temple with his nose he murmured "Just give me what I want..."

Shaking his hands off she boldly stepped forward. Raising his voice in a shout Angelus yelled "Look all you want baby! You won't find him! Not unless I want you to!"

Moving with deadly purpose Buffy stalked through the crowd, rudely pushing those foolish enough to be in her way. Ignoring all she raced up the stairs and walked out into the foyer. Seeing a open hall entryway she walked through, sure that she would find Paul. There was nowhere else for him to be! Spying a series of doors she opened one after another. Nothing.

Quickly redoubling back Buffy checked each bedroom, each alcove, each closet yet she could not find Paul. Without looking behind her she could feel Angelus, she could feel his pleasure, she could feel his joy at her misery. _Where are you?!_

Everywhere she looked she saw nothing. In a rush she sped in and out of all the rooms, all the while with Angelus there to mock her with his silence. Sometimes he'd be out in the hall, insolently relaxed while she tore through a room, searching for hidden walls or doorways. Other times he'd be leaning against a bedpost, a brow arched as the occupants cavorted around the bed, in seeming fascination with their activites but Buffy knew it was a lie.

A nasty, horrible, filthy lie.

Angelus loved to see her scurrying about his home, looking for what she could not find. A creature who could not feel love, could love this. She could FEEL his growing amusement at her wasted efforts.

Stalking down another hallway Buffy did not want to acknowledge that her efforts were just that. Wasted. Finding nothing other than Angelus, Buffy turned back to his room, not wanting to admit that she did not know what to do. Throwing the heavy door open she made her way back to the viewing room, hoping to find some clue as to where Paul was. Entering it she stopped short at seeing Angelus already there. "I thought you'd come this way again."

Ignoring him she stood in front of the fractured screens, trying to see something, anything, to aid her. The decadent pictures revealed nothing. Slowly she ran her eyes over each inch, each pixel, to discern even the smallest clue. Again nothing. Stonily Buffy stared at the face of Mia, silently demanding that she give her the needed answers. As if she knew, Mia glanced up into the camera for a moment. Her small lips twisted into a sly smile, her eyes gleaming with power.

"Any luck yet babe?" Angelus asked in false concern. She did not acknowledge him, so fixedly did she stare at the smirking image of Mia. Not willing to let it go, Angelus pushed off the wall and came closer to his human lover. "Still stubborn..." Running his hands over the air above her he murmured "Care to give up yet?"

This time she did answer. "Never." Even though he did not touch her body, she could feel the silent caress. Willing her mind to ignore him, Buffy continued to stare at the screen-a bit blindly though. Her spine arched slightly, a knot inside coiling tightly while her blood began to beat slow and sluggishly.

Tutting Angelus whispered "Never is a long time baby." Leisurely allowing his hands to roam her waist he darkly warned "Don't tempt me..." As soon as the words were out Angelus mentally recoiled, the deadly poison of hatred instantly pumping its' venom into his brain.

 _HATE her...HATE him...hate them BOTH...make them pay...humiliate her...punish her...destroy THEM..._

Cruelly his fingers dug into her sides, instantly leaving bruises upon her skin. Buffy hissed in pain while arching away. Recognizing and disliking this sudden flare of emotion, his mind extinguished the rage. Gathering control of this orchestrated seduction of will, Angelus forcibly relaxed his hands.

Buffy's breath hitched at the unspoken implication of eternity. There was a tension in the air again, without turning around she knew that Angelus was furious. The rage swirled around him, darkening the air with night and pain. Her sides ached from the pressure of his hands, despite the fact that he was now gently stroking her.

"Think I can change your mind?" he purred while brushing the locks of hair off her neck. "No?"

She began to feel a trembling dance lightly along her legs. "No" she breathed. _Keep control...Oh God!...Keep control...This man hurt you-remember that!_

Wickedly he bit down on her sensitive flesh, growling deeply when her involuntary cry echoed in his ear. "Did I hurt you sweetheart?" he asked. Buffy got the eerie impression that he meant more than just the bite.

Turning her around he bent towards her shoulder again, this time kissing it gently. "Did you know that the bite is the most basic way a male claims his female?" Dropping his voice until it held a husky edge to it he said "The way a male wolf shows his affection to his bitch is through the bite." Pleasantly he inquired "Are you my bitch?"

Speechless, Buffy denied it with a quick shake of her head.

"Pity you don't see it so. But you will..." Pausing for a moment he turned the full force of his arrogant gaze upon Buffy. He noticed the rapid flutter in her throat and allowed his senses to concentrate on the hypnotic beat.

 _ **Ba-boom...Ba-boom...Ba-boom...**_

The aching hunger unfurled and pierced his mouth; a needlelike prick slid into the cold flesh of his lip. Angelus' fangs had lengthened in response to Buffy's blood. The desire for sustenance shifted from his throat and settled heavily in his loins.

Buffy stared into his eyes, powerless to look away. The raw hunger in his eyes made her aware of how vulnerable she was when it came to Angelus. This creature had so much power over her and each moment she spent with him weakened her more and more. It was absolute hell to be with him, it truly was. She hurt so badly, so very badly that she felt as if she could NOT possibly survive her pain.

But to be apart from him...

How could she survive that?

She hated him! She truly did. But it was her only link with Angel. No, not Angel. It was her only link with Angel's body-and Angelus' black heart. Guiltily she knew that the pleasure she receieved with Angelus' far exceeded her one night with Angel.

It was heaven and hell. It was night and day. It was all the love and pain mixed as one. It was madness and genius. It was everything that it should not be.

Angelus hurt her badly this night, he truly did. As she watched the gleam of his fangs pierce his lip Buffy shuddered. A disquieting thought took hold of her: If she hated him as much as she did, if she LOATHED him as much as she thought, then why did she hurt so badly?

Another moment passed, each one locked in their own thought before Angelus finally broke the silence. He continued, as if time had not passed, in a voice thick and rich with "...you WILL." Quickly his fangs retracted, leaving a bit of borrowed blood to stain his stern mouth...

...Buffy's blood...

Not giving her a chance to deny it Angelus continued. "In the wilds, eons ago, your ancestors and mine established control through the bite. The bite held a multitude of meanings in a time when there was no vocal language, only a series of gestures."

"Ah" she mumbled. Fascinated she stared at the crimson, watching it gleam in the shadows of night. It was her blood that ran through his veins. A feeling of strange exhiliaration filled her. Her blood. Shaking her head she vaguely thought _Where's your angle, Angelus? We're not here for ancient history._ All the while staring at her own blood...

"The bite could be the playful nip of comradery, the angry pinch of annoyance, the furious force of rage...or the absolute expression of desire." Tipping her chin up with one finger Angelus silkily asked "Can you tell what my bite meant?"

Warily Buffy shook her head.

In a soft voice Angelus coaxed her with "Not even gonna give it a try baby? C'mon Buff-aren't you going answer even one of my questions tonight?" His tone was so gentle, so undemanding. If Buffy closed her eyes she could swear that it was Angel in front of her.

But Buffy had her eyes fully opened. The fathomless cruelty in the dark gaze that met her own told her plainly who was with her. _Not Angel, Angelus._ The strength of her emotions left Buffy in confusion. She loved Angel, she missed Angel and yet she was dangerously drawn to Angelus.

From the moment horror subsided and intrigue began...

 _Dammit! It's not supposed to be with way!_ Feeling a sharp pain of loss Buffy snapped "Why should I bother? Anything I say would be wrong-we both know that. I say one thing, you'll say it was something else. You win, I lose. Your rules, right **Angelus**..." She didn't want her feelings to be so muddied. It so much easier to hate him, to let her pain rule her. She did not want to think that there was something more to her feelings for Angelus.

Lazily he licked up the spot of blood, his mouth curving into a smile and Buffy felt it in her body. There could not be anything more! Turning her back on him, Buffy looked up at the screen. Instinctually the depths of her soul wailed, knowing her time was coming...

"Ahhh" he murmured thoughtfully, the single sound rumbling deeply in his chest much like a beast waiting for his prey. He did not take long to strike. Looking up at the charcoal images Angelus innocently asked "How long do you think it'll be before he dies?"

Whipping around Buffy met his malicious smirk. She clenched her jaw until it ached, hating him, the world, but mostly herself. Always herself. Buffy stared at him, her slender brows lowered over her eyes, her mouth drawn down into an angry line.

 _Never turn your back on me darling...I'll always strike at you if you do..._

How confident and triumphant he looked! Angelus could sense the blood of her admitted defeat. He only lacked the salivation to make it complete, even though not a muscle in his face moved. Angelus could never lack that much control ever!

Buffy's chest tightened while she fought to control her tumbling emotions. She was quickly losing that battle.

He stood there where he should not be. He held his head with an arrogant tilt, when it should be lowered. He wore the clothes of vanity, when they should be modest. He was what he should not be. He had become something that should not be.

And she made him.

He had taken something that did not belong to him.

And she had given it to him.

Angelus was evil, heartless, and ruthless-everything Angel was not. What he took, he kept for life...

Not his own, but of the chosen lover.

Yet somehow he had done it...Buffy's mind flashed through the night and all of its degradation.

She was whipped from the moment she looked across the restaurant and saw his lifeless eyes boring into her.

She was lost from the moment she slid down onto her knees and performed the intimate act of sucking his cock in the mens bathroom.

She was exposed to his deliberate cruelty the moment she watched him take Lina's mouth to his own-the very same mouth that had intimately traveled along her body.

She was cut the moment he placed her on his altar of pain and drove himself into her unwilling flesh.

She was dizzy the moment he stepped off the path that he chose, that she expected, and took her down another road paved with lies.

She was drawn the moment he showed her the pictures of decadence.

She was stung the moment she realized how far strung his web of deceit lay, entangling not only herself but someone innocent.

She was reduced the moment he forced her to feel his strength and her own flaws.

She was fragile the moment the force of his true wrath flayed her without restraint or rhyme.

She was redeemed the moment she sought to free the victim of his game, confident that she would not fail.

She was torn down the moment she failed, while he smiled with sharp teeth and and even sharper claws.

Her world was going to Hell and he had done it.

Hissing she finally spat "I lose, you win."

"Huh? What was that?" he silkily asked.

"I lose!" Stalking up to him Buffy raised herself on her tiptoes before spitting between clenched teeth "I lost to you tonight. Alright? I, Buffy Anne Summers, lost to you!"

Angelus crossed his arms over his chest. A tiny smirk lifted the corner of his well-shaped mouth while his head tilted back; the gesture small yet telling in its arrogance. Silently he stood there, his judgement hidden for the moment.

His mere calm infuriated Buffy. Where was the gloating? "C'mon! I know you're just dying to rub it in my face. C'mon you big, bad vamp-whatcha waitin' for?"

The air grew darker, the mists of silence deafening it the void. Recklessly Buffy stared him down, daring him to strike at her in anger. She wanted the fight, she wanted to make a lie out of her words. She needed to know for sure that she could still fight him. She had to know if the mysteries of the weekend had permanently changed her and made her vulnerable in every way.

Invisible to the eye and powerful to the psyche, Buffy could feel the strings tying her tightly to this intimate stranger. Was it just her imagination or did she the fire of passion leap eerily in his midnight eyes? In the next instant Buffy was sure she was mistaken.

Slowly uncrossing his arms, the soft creaking of leather filled the silence. For a distant moment Buffy's senses drank in the scent of him. A spicy, exotic cologne drifted into her, repelling and attractive at the same time. _Angelus not Angel_.

 _Oh God Angel! Angel, I don't know what to do. I don't know how to save myself from you!_

The menace leapt at her, clawing through her thoughts. Not a word had he yet spoken but she KNEW that he KNEW her thoughts. She just knew that Angel had made himself known. She also knew that the danger of this situation just increased. Now was the time. She had been hiding and avoiding it all night.

 _How's it feel Slayer?_

 _How's it feel to be betrayed?_

 _You belong to me...Your blood knows it. Your body knows it..._

 _The pain you feel is just one of a thousand links between us Slayer._

 _It's all about Angel with you?_

 _One more chance baby._

 _You won't answer my question with words...answer me with yourself..._

 _Hate me with every breath you take, but you will not be indifferent to me._

 _I want your truth._

 _Admit what I mean to you. Admit how I'm not just Angel's body, but a man in his own right. Admit that you want ME!_

 _You're a coward Slayer. A fucking coward!_

 _Does the Slayer break this easily?_

 _I had to prove a point to you. The point's been proven._

 _I bring the best out of you Buff, don't forget that._

 _Mine._

 _Every little piece of you belongs to me Buff, every piece._

It was true, God help her it was true. She was holding back herself to soothe empty pride yet still all it would lead to was this. Angelus was more than a creature with Angel's body. Buffy trembled from such pain. Her thoughts of two nights prior came to her: _Could she love him as well?_ It was not possible! It could not be possible! Not after what he had done to her, to Angel, to the world!

Yet if any of it revealed itself on Buffy's face he ignored it. Angelus merely shook his head in disgust before stating in annoyance "You bore me _enfant_ , you simply bore me."

With that Angelus began to walk past her, fully intending to leave for the night. Buffy stood there indecisively, torn between saving herself and going after him. Her decision was made. Whipping out her hand she clasped him by the wrist. "Don't" she inaudibly murmured.

Glancing imperiously down his nose Angelus caustically stated "You've had your chance Slayer."

Gathering her courage Buffy swallowed thickly. Nodding her head she whispered "I know. I know." Daring a glance upwards she stuttered "I...I..." before shutting her mouth. _Can you say this? Can you really, really say this? How can you say this?_ The moment had come. Biting her lip she said in an anguished voice "I need you."

The air shifted. Angelus' eyes held a gleam that was quickly masked into indifference. She saw this and felt a trembling in her belly. Releasing his wrist Buffy stepped back from him. "You wanted to know how it felt to see you with Lina. I told you that I only cared about what you did with Angel's body. I lied."

Fingering the edge of the shirt she wore, HIS shirt, she said "I hated you. I hated you both."

Dryly he replied "I remember. You already told me that. _Although_ the circumstances were rather trying."

Buffy's eyes flashed with deep pain. Crossing her arms she turned her face to the side. "You didn't have to do what you did. I would have willingly come to your bed even though I hated you so much. I would have let you do anything to me, even though I hurt so much. I wanted you so badly." Stopping she felt the hurt flay her heart, she felt the pain of unshed tears. "Instead you...instead you..." Buffy's voice became muffled with the strength of her unshed tears.

The moment became drawn between them. Buffy did not feel at all like the Slayer. Instead she felt like what she was: a 17 year old girl who had been betrayed. "I didn't want them to see but you didn't care. I begged you and you laughed. You _raped_ me. You showed everyone what was only supposed to be between US."

Angelus wisely kept silent. The raw anguish in her voice filled him with such delicious joy. The beauty of the moment was that it was far from over. When he saw Buffy's lower lip tremble uncontrollably he hardened.

He wanted to rip his shirt off her body and pound into her on the floor. He wanted to feel that wet, hot flesh hold him tightly. He wanted to feel those soft thighs wrap around his waist. He wanted to bite those impudent little nipples, He wanted to feel her hands fist themselves in his hair. He wanted to feel the rush of her pants against his neck and he needed to hear her cries of pleasure in his ear.

But...

But he had raped her.

She had to make the first move. Angelus knew that or else all would be in vain. The question was: would she? Despite her speech, he felt a flicker of uncertainty. She was hardly the first woman he had raped. Yet none had ever shown the depths of their violation as she did. Perhaps it was because he usually drained them with the act so their righteous fury was forever stilled in the beyond. Those who walked away pretended as if it never happened so any pain was locked tightly inside.

And by that point, he did not care to see it.

But not his Buffy. She was such an exquisitely responsive creature. The more time passed, the harder it was for her to keep herself hidden. Yet she still tried. That was what angered him so tonight. She held all in her hands, yet selfishly she kept them tightly clenched, refusing to pay him her due. She could have ended Paul's little encounter immediately but she kept on her ridiculous path.

Now she was trying to honor him with her words. Even so, would she dishonor herself by giving him her body? He simply was not sure. Angelus showed none of his thoughts however. His face remained beautifully impassive while he watched his lover bare her very soul.

"You hurt me tonight so badly Angelus. You hurt me with Lina, you hurt with yourself." Looking up she asked him "Were you with her tonight?"

Angelus remained silent. Looking down she swallowed thickly. "Oh." Bringing up her fist she rubbed her eyes briskly. "Oh" she repeated inanely. His silence could mean only one thing. Taking a deep breath she said "I can't bear the thought of you turning to anyone else. Damn you!" Buffy's breath hitched. "I hate you, I really do" she breathed in emotional agony.

With great effort Buffy tried to gather ahold of her emotions. Blindly looking up at the distorted image of Paul reaching orgasm again, Buffy numbly continued "You said that I missed the point of your little exercise. I don't think I did. I understand it all clearly. You wanted to show me that no matter what you did to me, I will never be able to turn from you." Looking back at him she asked "Am I right?"

Inclining his head Angelus stated "Partly."

Mirthlessly laughing she repeated "Partly." Listlessly she laughed, the sound hollow and alien-like. "I've only gotten part of this. God." Rolling her head back she stared at the ceiling. "You're a monster Angelus, you really are."

"What do I mean to you darling?"

Clenching her eyes tightly Buffy let out a muffled sob. What was the point of holding back anymore? "You mean more than you should."

Angelus felt his dead heart quicken, the fleeting thrill of emotion warming him. Buffy was going to his in every way. He was sure of it now. Triumph was only moments away. The pain she felt was so delicious, so ripe in its decay. Little did she know that she was far from being done...

"You accuse me of being a whore because I liked Paul's attention. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not." Looking deeply into his midnight eyes she hoarsely asked "But how can you believe that I can ever feel a tenth of the emotion with a human that you stir in me?"

Not expecting an answer she continued. Wrapping her arms tightly about her waist Buffy lifted her chin and said "You must be so damned happy, at least as happy as a vampire can be. The Slayer needing a demon." Hearing the words out loud Buffy recoiled. _It shouldn't be true. It SHOULD NOT be TRUE!_ Fisting her hands she shouted "I'm the Slayer! I'm the Chosen One! I didn't want to be but I am! I own this town!"

Angelus' lips formed themselves into a sad smile. Coming forward he stood only inches from Buffy. Softly he said "That's where you're wrong Buff. I own this town. Not you. I decide who lives, who dies. Not you. I only let you play here. Hardening his voice he bit out "Understand? I fucking own you and everyone else who lives here."

Taking her arm he roughly turned her around. "Look at Paul! See how the pleasure is fading, but look at him-he can't stop. Mia and Rachel won't let him. He can't see that yet, so he keeps going. How long do it think it'll be before the pleasure leaves completely? How long do you think it'll be before the fear sets in? An hour? Two? Maybe not even that long. Maybe it'll take just another ten minutes."

Gulping for air Buffy felt a sob break free from her lips.

Hissing in her ear Angelus stated "I own his life and you know that. If I wanted his cock ripped right off, it would happen. You can't stop it. If I wanted to make you watch, you would. Isn't that right lover?"

Buffy's tears spilled over while she shook her head. Whether she was trying to deny him or herself she did not know.

Shaking her roughly he growled "I control your life babe! I will be the one to make you smile, do you understand? Not Paul, not anyone else-me! I'm the **fucking** air you breathe, I'm the reason you get up in the morning. Isn't that true?"

Buffy gasped while the tears poured from her eyes.

"If Angel had you completely, you'd be dead. But you're not, are you?" he evilly pointed out. "Tell me Buff. Tell me now before I really lose it" he warned.

Holding a hand up to her mouth she jerkily nodded.

"Not good enough. Tell me now!" he all but shouted in her ear.

"I need you! I can't stop thinking about you! Even now I'd rather feel your hands in anger, than feel nothing at all!" she sobbed.

"Is that so?" Threading his fingers in her hair Angelus forced her to look up at the screen. He forced her to see the frown knit itself across Paul's forehead. He forced her to hear him uneasily protest "Hey...I-I need a break...No, I'm serious."

Lowering his mouth against Buffy's temple he repeated "I rule here. You don't. Yes?"

She had lost time and time again against him. From the moment Angelus returned all he had done was toy with her and she could not stop him. At any moment he could have killed her, her mother, her friends, but he didn't. The helplessness was a bitter pill to swallow. She was so painfully weak because of her love for Angel and her fascination for Angelus.

This fascination cost Buffy her freedom. He did rule Sunnydale and her. But damned if she would say it. When it came to her, she'd accept defeat, but not the innocents. Never the innocents. "I'll always fight Angelus. When it comes to this town, I'll always fight."

"You keep doing that Slayer. Fight all you want, but in the end..." Eloquently shrugging his message was clear: You'll lose. "You belong to me, don't you?" he darkly asked before nuzzling her temple with the tip of his nose.

"Yes" she whispered.

"Louder" he ruthlessly demanded.

"Yes" she repeated.

"Louder."

"YES!" she shouted. Angelus' fingers were digging into her flesh while her blood boiled hotly and the gnawing in her stomach grew. Her neck throbbed while her cheeks become rosy from her flush.

"Good girl" he crooned warmly in her ear. "Now what should I do with Paul? Should I let him live? After all, he was the main player in this exercise. He did help you come to terms with your feelings. Hmmm?"

Buffy knew intimately what the mouse felt like when toyed by the sleek, lovely cat. Even now she could the nip of the razor sharp claws waiting to tear into her skin. Her scalp burned from the pressure of his fingers. "I want him to live."

"You want him to live?"

"You know I do!"

"But what will you do if I believe otherwise?"

"You know what I'll do. I'll fight." Buffy felt the weight of this night crush her, she could hardly breathe from it. If only Eve hadn't picked the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge-sometimes it just wasn't worth it. She just wished that she didn't feel this way towards him. "I have to fight Angelus. It's all I have left."

"It's not all you have left Slayer. You have me" he winningly said.

Buffy clenched her eyes tightly. If only that were true. "I don't have you."

Releasing her hair Angelus wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on the top of her head. "Aww poor little girl! You sound so very sad" he remarked mockingly. "To think that the Slayer wants a demon like me."

She knew that by saying it she would be giving him power. She knew that. But damn if it didn't make her feel horrible. "I don't want to have you" she denied a bit hollowly.

"Lying isn't a sin you should indulge in. Makes your chances of getting into Heaven all the harder."

Tugging her by the hand he led Buffy back to the couch. Sitting down he patted his lap with a smirk. Folding her body down she slid onto his lap, all the while feeling empty and unhappy inside. What about Paul? What would she do if he felt that Paul deserved to die? How would she stop him?

"I'm in the mood for a thriller. Let's watch this and see how it ends" he lazily said with a malicious gleam in his eyes.

"I don't want to."

"Too bad. It's either watch this or..." trailing his finger down her thigh Angelus looked through the open door into his chamber.

Buffy looked at him, a worried frown wrinkling her brow.

Angelus laughed aloud and snidely stated "I thought all you wanted was a bed. Here we are alone with a bed and you're not leading the way?"

Hurt she whispered "You bastard. I hate you."

Wrapping his hand around the back of her neck Angelus whispered in return "Hate me. I adore it lover. The more you hate me the harder I get." Taking his other hand he wrapped around hers and placed both on his crotch. "You feel that? Keep hating me baby...please."

With that he crushed his lips against hers. Opening her mouth with his, Angelus boldly plundered her sweet, trembling cavern, tasting and raping it at will. Buffy moaned against his mouth, frightened of feeling any passion so quickly after her violation.

Pulling back with a smack Angelus asked "Who do you belong to?" It was a drug, he couldn't get enough of hearing it. The Slayer belonged to him. It was only a matter of time before she loved him. Let her God help her then...

Swallowing thickly Buffy whispered "You."

"That's right babe, you belong to me. Always" he smugly decreed. Moving in for a kiss Angelus paused a millimeter away from her mouth. "Oh look" he huskily murmured. "Time for the grand finale."

Whipping her head around Buffy watched with dread as Paul was once again physically aroused by Mia and Rachel's talented mouths. "Please" she pleaded.

After several moments of silence Angelus asked "Have you learned your lesson?"

Clenching her fists Buffy knew there was no answer but his. Nodding her head jerkily she waited for his judgement.

Angelus pointed his remote until the moans of Paul deafened the room. Buffy resisted the urge to cover her ears. She made to spring up off his lap when his hand merely gripped her hip, effectively keeping her down. Looking into his face Buffy saw nothing but detached amusement. The moments dragged by with Paul lending his coerced music to color the air. She couldn't bear to watch.

Suddenly the room was blanketed in heavy silence. The moans were gone. Buffy saw Angelus look up at the screen, sheer triumph flashing across his dark good looks. Dread made Buffy relunctant to turn around. She had to, she knew she _had_ to but not before staring Angelus full in the face.

Concentrating on her lover's face she saw him mouth the words, "I win, you lose."

And in that moment Buffy knew that it was the truth.


	21. Chapter 21

The world may have stopped for Buffy as she saw the malicious triumph dance madly in Angelus' eyes. The silence of his moving lips may have pinned her with raw pain and the coldness of his cruelty may have exposed her humanity for all its flaws, but it still moved. The world may have stopped for her then, but in reality it never missed a beat.

Not during that moment and certainly not for the past two days.

Even as the black void filled her ears, even as she felt a piece of her heart die, even as she turned around, the world spun and spun madly on its axis. The cold burn of Angelus' hand vividly reminded her of this self-inflicted hell as she raised her dull eyes upwards. Her guts wrenched mightily as she saw Mia and Rachel both nimbly rise from the rumpled bed, their slim hands intertwined. Each movement of their lithe bodies spoke of satiation, erotic promise and fulfilled desires.

Although they were desires that were dulled but never forgotten, not their sort of hungers...

Turning disbelieving eyes back to Angelus she saw his lips curve into a smile of pure, dark, demon joy. Slewing her head around she numbly watched the figures on the damaged screen move about the room. She watched as the two linked creatures passed by the foot of the bed and stopped. In mounting shock Buffy saw them make a slight yet humble bow. Their gray tinted eyes steadily held the camera, the depths within so cavernous Buffy felt as if she were drowning in their endless power.

Soon the two unnatural sirens turned away and disappeared from view. Paul lay there in lazy contentment for several moments, a lax smile on his face, before he rolled over and reached for his clothing. Buffy saw him swing his legs off the bed just as the screen went deathly black.

"I can see how much you liked the show, but you don't need to see more of him than you already have" Angelus blandly declared while throwing the remote onto the table. It landed with a sharp _"clank"_. It was the only sound to be heard besides Buffy's erratic breathing. How he had enjoyed putting her through such misery!

It was all for nothing.

 _And the world still moved..._

Flicking her eyes from the screen to the space before her she felt wretchedly ill. "They stopped" she emotionlessly stated. _When will I learn?_ she silently hissed in sharp tones of self-disgust. Her prior declarations were no longer important in light of this. The gauche young girl slipped away again as the feelings of betrayal took root, spreading their vines about Buffy until she felt lightheaded from the sheer magnitude of Angelus' deception.

Looking straight ahead Buffy coldly asked "And once again it was just a game for you, wasn't it?" Her question was a mere formality to the greater statement that both could hear clearly.

"Isn't it always?" he mockingly retorted.

"And Paul was never in danger, was he you bastard?" Buffy rigidly asked.

Reproachfully he _tsked_ Buffy. "You and that gutter mouth of yours will get in trouble one day soon." Angelus' hand tightly squeezed her thigh before giving it a playful slap. "Of course he was danger, my sweet idiot. It could have ended quite differently for young Paul." Drawing her back against him he teasingly ran his tongue along the rim of her ear before moving down.

"It could have been far, far, more messier..." he paused as his teeth scraped along her collarbone, eliciting a sigh of unwanted emotion from Buffy. "It should have been far bloodier..." Angelus paused to roughly nip her lips before sighing against them "...but for you Buff."

"Me..." she breathed the word heavily while pulling back from him. The world tilted crazily when she was this close to him, when he kissed her so...

How easy it was for him to manipulate her, especially when she passively played the victim for him. Jumping up she passionately yelled "I hate you! I hate you, I hate your games, I hate the night you came into existence!

Yanking her back into his lap Angelus growled "I don't want to remind you of the conduct I expect from you Buff. You will not speak to me in that tone again. Girls who do not behave properly will get their bottoms reddened." Satisfied that Buffy understood perfectly he relaxed his body. Lazily he smirked while saying "He owes his worthless life to you darling-you should be proud Slayer."

"Pride? I thought that was on your bad-list along with yelling" she tartly replied, infuriated that he treated her as a child and discounted her emotions as a tantrum. _He's a vampire Buffy...what do you expect?_ Feeling her fire burn out she softly said "If only I hadn't gone to dinner tonight."

He darkly chuckled. "Poor little girl, you sound so disheartened, so sad." Brushing her hair back Angelus quietly stated "Your pride has no place between us. Holding onto it will only make your life more difficult." Pausing significantly he allowed the words to weigh into her mind before softly saying "Your unfortunate experience tonight only proves it."

She sharply gasped, a pain shooting in her heart, because of his callous reasoning. Pulling away from him Buffy turned to look him squarely in the face. "I never believed that your cruelty could be this devious. I thought that you were more open, more to the point, but that would be too easy. Right Angelus?"

An enigmatic smile played about his lips. "What do you expect me to say Buff? You know what I am, yet you still accept me. Your tender words of possession prove it." Bringing his face closer he softly taunted "I love to know that this world's only hope belongs to me-a vampire."

She could not control the explosive breath of rage that passed through her lips. It was all true. "Why me? Why drag it out Angelus? You could have ended it weeks ago that night in the cemetery." Buffy could feel him tense beneath her; a fine line between self-preservation and recklessness separated her.

Recklessness won.

"You could have when I thought you were Angel." Buffy's face softened with love for the man who was no longer, her gaze becoming unfocused for several moments. "You could have killed me when I cried out for the man I love, for Angel" she challenged in her soft yet determined voice.

Fire leaped in the shifting and eternal blackness of his eyes, the depths of his dangerous passion exposing itself for a moment before sliding away.

The lazy tone of his voice belied the fury of each word. "I could have. I could have held you tightly while your near-virgin pussy held even tighter onto my fingers. I could have waited until the moment that you opened your eyes and looked at 'him'. I could have pretended for a minute longer that I was **him**."

"I could have slipped on your panties and promised to walk you back to the safety of your mommy. I could have even accepted your nauseating kisses of love and murmured something in return."

"I could have whispered 'Buffy' and held you next to my dead heart. I could have tipped your head back and gently kissed the pulse that flutters here. " He touched the very same spot much to her discomfort. "I could have laid my lips here." He tapped it twice for emphasis.

Angelus' voice hardened before bluntly finishing. "I could have done all this, all of it, before ripping this soft human flesh and exposing the bloody red meat that makes you all no different from one another." Lightly he scraped his fingers against her pulse.

Seeing the recoiling light in her eyes Angelus hissed "I would have loved it too Buff, did you know that?" Wryly he chuckled before saying "Of course you know, what was I thinking? You know everything about me, don't you lover?"

Acidly she said "More than I'd like. I only wish it was just from dry journals instead of you."

Wickedly he grinned, amused by her misplaced show of spirit. "Speaking of dry-when you read about my glorious exploits, did it make you wet babe? C'mon, you can tell me. I bet after being with that pansy, you just couldn't wait to get with a real man-or demon, I should say."

Buffy opened her mouth, her intents clearly borne without reasons of self-preservation, before Angelus laid one finger across her lips. Narrowing his eyes slightly he softly warned "Think carefully lover before you answer."

For a few moments she struggled to contain the words that bubbled to escape her mouth. Finally she said "I thought about you as much as you thought about me-as little as possible."

"Oh but Buff, I thought about you all the time. I thought about moments like our time in the cemetery every hour of the night." Tugging her hair he brought her closer to him. Gutturally he confessed "I jacked off to moments like that."

Buffy felt her cheeks redden at the crudeness of his words. She was regretting this conversation. _Regretting this conversation?_ How odd it all was. Angelus was smoothly telling her that he enjoyed the thought of her death and here she was calmly sitting on his lap, allowing him to play with her hair. That and blushing because he said "jacked off". It was beyond odd, it was insane.

 _And the world still moved..._

Reconnecting with his earlier thread of conversation Angelus mused spitefully "I could have watched as your body hit the ground. I could have watched as you clutched your throat, hopelessly and helplessly trying to put the pieces of your neck back. I could have bent over you and kissed your lips as you lay with only seconds left. I could have said 'I lied' and left you to die in the dirt as you deserve."

Inside Buffy recoiled, the disgust and sadness of Angelus' words clearly shining from her eyes. "You still didn't answer my question."

Their gazes caught and clashed for a moment before he smirked. "I've learned much during the past century Slayer." Leaning forward he caught her chin with one hand, the coolness of his flesh lighting a fire of pained anticipation within her. "I've had a lot of time to think, as I'm sure you can imagine." Tightening his fingers, the pressure of his hand in direct contrast to his words, Angelus explained "I've learned to play nice baby, that's all."

"You still want me dead though" she stated softly, needing to hear the answer but not really wanting to.

His answer was swift and brutal. "Of course I do. I think about it every night, every hour. I laugh when I think about your last moments darling. It's my own private joke." Pausing he arrogantly elaborated with "That and the thought that maybe I'll turn you and keep you as my own fucktoy forever." Shrugging he added as an afterthought "Or until you get dusted."

Pain at his arrogance, injustice over what he stole from her, fury from his indifference made Buffy lash out. She lashed out in a way that was most dangerous to herself and to Angelus. The prideful girl bore no resemblance to the teary waif of before.

Casually she slipped from his lap and lazily stretched, a crooked little smile painted across her face. Tossing her hair over her shoulder Buffy cocked her head to the side and mused "You're so incredibly arrogant lover. It's enough to make me laugh if you weren't **so** pitiful."

Spitefully smiling at the subtle shock on his face she lightly stated "You die each night Angelus. Every vamp that I send to Hell is you. And when I don't think about staking you, I pray that we'll find a way to send you back."

Placing her hands on her hips she taunted him with "Angelus I won't deny that I love the way your body makes mine feel." Buffy's hand flew to her lips. "Oops! I mean Angel's." Watching his face turn to stone she dug the knife deeper. "My body does belong to the one you're using. It doesn't matter if I say that I belong to you-I know what I really mean."

"Lying ill becomes you darling-you're shitty at it." Although flippantly stated, Angelus felt a moment of human insecurity, but he did not recognize it as such. Smugly he drawled "This is a dangerous game you're playing. Are you sure you have the guts to continue?" confident Buffy would back down.

Smirking she shrugged. "Sure, lover. Whatever."

Buffy easily caused all the demons of jealousy and suspicion to claw away at his smugness. Just when he was sure that he had her beat, she retaliated in the most disconcerting way. _What the fuck just happened here? I didn't see this coming. She was in a bad place and now it's like she's a new girl. I do not like it._

Angelus did not know what to do or say next.

This was not good.

Not for him and especially not for Buffy.

 _Little bitch!_

He coldly lashed back in return. "Buff, I can see that broken-down spirit of yours call to me whenever I walk into your view. All I have to do is crook my finger and you'll be crawling bare-assed across this floor. Care to prove my point again? Afterall, it was just too easy before."

When Buffy remained silent, her smile fading just a bit, Angelus challenged "C'mon baby, make me prove my point."

Her resolution was shaken slightly until she remembered how he had manipulated the entire hellish night for his own enjoyment.

Not only did he hurt her but he used an innocent.  
She had been forced to bare herself to him.  
He only wanted to kill her.

The Slayer part of Buffy knew it for she felt the same, but the other part of her felt such betrayal. It was beyond the comforting air of rationale, it was emotion: raw and searing to the lungs. Her emotions could make no apology for the way she felt, they could only violently react.

"You want me more than you've ever wanted Angel. And before you pull out your broken record of love, I talk of lust Slayer. You've lusted after me from night one lover."

Letting out a trill of laughter she mockingly asked "Do you really believe that homicidal maniacs rate high on my list? I think it's time for some self-evaluation sweetie."

Angelus repeatedly clenched his jaw, his eyes gleaming hotly in a face as beguiling as sweet Death. Gaining momentum Buffy twisted her weapon of words. "Every time you fuck me I think about Angel. Every time that I say your name, I'm really saying his."

"Oh really? Well we'll just have to see about that" Angelus nastily stated. Lithely standing up he grabbed Buffy and tightly imprisoned her within his arms. Quickly striding out of the room he made his way towards the mammoth bed he called his own. Buffy lay motionlessly with her head against his shoulder.

After her rash of words, what else could she do? She couldn't very well get away-he would derive too much pleasure in pulling her back by her hair. She could physically fight him-but her heart wouldn't be in it.

Or perhaps her heart would be _too_ into it and that was her problem.

She would just have to wait and find a way to survive it just as she had all night long. Breathing in deeply she heard her heart's riotous beat roar in her ears.

 _Breathe Buffy-just breathe._

She concentrated on the long, deep breaths. She had to-it was either that or drown in the sudden fear that her thoughts inspired. So she breathed and felt her heart break with each breath. The cool leather smelled of him, exotic and spicy, filling Buffy with sense of unbalance. Angel's scent was light, reminding her of the sunshine he had not seen in over two-hundred years.

Angelus' scent was black and primal, reminding her of every dark fairy tale she had ever read.

Angelus easily lay her on his bed, covering her slight body with his large one. Entwining their fingers together he whispered against her lips "Pride is thy name, Pride is thy armour, Pride is thy pain." Never wavering from her wide, defiant gaze Angelus dipped his head down and deeply drank of her lips.

His tongue delved within her warm mouth, tasting each of her human emotions and reveling in them all. "Allow me to take thy pain, so commands your lord."

Something inside Buffy rebelled at this. Softly, if a bit foolishly (especially after the truth of her first confessions to Angelus), she denied him. "Not my lord, never my lord."

Giving her a pitying smile Angelus admonished her in an even softer voice "You're a stupid girl for bringing his name into this. You think of him while I'm in you, do you? I'm going to fuck you until you bleed, until you're raw and torn and then I'm going to fuck you again."

Angelus roughly brought his mouth down and ground it against Buffy's soft lips. Panic made it difficult for her to breath as flashes of memory burned hotly against her brain. Snaking her arm from under his she made to deliver a shattering blow to his head when he caught her fist.

"I'm going to fuck you until you beg for death, the death that only I can bring. You will beg me until your voice is raw from screaming and your body is so sore that it can barely stand to function."

Negligently kissing Buffy's fist Angelus continued. "It will be the worst torture, but do you know why?"

Breathing heavily Buffy arched her back trying to dislodge him. "I can figure it out. It's a no brainer with you." Lifting her head off the bed she promised Angelus "I won't beg."

"I can see that you've got the wrong idea Buff. Don't worry-I'll clear it up for you." Coming in closer he smirked. "You're going to beg for death Buff, not to escape me, but to **join** me. You're going to be torn and swollen only because you won't want me to stop."

Violently Buffy shook her head while Angelus nodded his. "Yes you will. You won't confuse the two of us anymore and I'll be more than happy to make sure of it babe." He stared into her hate filled eyes while saying "I'll do it..." Pausing he kissed her mouth and then finished with "because I love your pain so much."

Buffy felt a shudder go through her body.

Bringing his lips next to her ear Angelus whispered "But not tonight."

Buffy woke with a start.

Her hand swung at the alarm, catching it on the second time, abruptly cutting off the loud beeps. Stiffly swinging her legs over the edge she eased out of the bed. Walking to the mirror she looked at herself and remembered.

She remembered how he had forced her body to feel things it didn't want to feel, had forced her to react with violent unwanted pleasure to his caresses.

And not once did he physically enter her.

 _And the world still moved..._

The world continued to move even as Buffy readied herself for school. It continued its marked path even as Buffy steeled herself to see her friends. It had only been two days but it might as well have been two years.

The world continued to move even if Buffy's last two days stood still in a state of unnatural time.

 _It continued to move for others..._

Spike indulgently smiled as Druscilla sat cross-legged on the stone floor in front of the fireplace. The hall was practically empty but for them. Her slender fingers nimbly wove a several flower stems together, softly humming an almost-forgotten tune from her childhood.

Watching the fey-like side of her personality come through reminded Spike of a time before the darkness came. It reminded him of seldom given kisses and hugs that were cherished far more than food or shelter. It reminded him of the parting of iron clouds on dreary Londontowne afternoons that allowed a glimmer of sunshine through.

It reminded him of sweetness that had nothing to do with ambition or hunger.

Shaking himself from his reverie Spike banished the ghosts of a time so far away. Seeing Druscilla skip towards him with a woven crown of thorns and flowers brought the memories of sunshine back into perspective. There was a time for life and there was a time for death-he and his love belonged to only half now. That was their _life_ now: thorns and flowers. Pain and sweetness.

Ghosts of a half-life faded away and the present remained. Taking the cold kiss Druscilla bestowed on his lips helped assuage the instinctual disappointment of tonight's failed attack. While he had hardly expected the Slayer to fall, in fact it was essential that she did not, he still could not help the twinge of frustration.

Druscilla's lace sleeve brushed against his face as she smoothed away the frown that had formed on his forehead. "No angry thoughts" she admonished sternly.

Spike's gaze softened with his love for creature before him. "No, no angry thoughts luv." Smiling in satisfaction Druscilla playfully placed her gift upon his head. Immediately one thorn tore into his smooth forehead, piercing the skin open, and allowed a thin trail of liquid to run down his skin.

Seeing this Druscilla apologetically murmured "Oh I've gone and cut your skin! I'm such a clumsy girl."

To this Spike replied "Nonsense pet. You know I like a bit of the bite."

Meeting his eyes the blank canvas of her eyes filled with tint and texture as she softly said "No you don't. You never did."

Abruptly she broke out into song, the musical cadence of her voice filling in the space that had sprung between them at her observation. Adjusting the crown she stood back, clasped her hands and cooed in reverence "Ooh Spike-you look like Christ did before he was betrayed." Reaching out a hand she wiped the red liquid with one finger and tasted it.

Waiting for her to finish Spike merely waited silently. The moments of clarity were coming more and more closely now. She had almost sounded sane when she had looked into his vacant soul, exposing what could never be spoken. He was what he was and nothing would change it.

Licking the moisture from her finger she whispered "You're the closest I'll ever come to him. To Christ. The gates have been closed to me and I'll never be able to sing the praises of God..." Her voice trailed off as she looked down at her slippered feet. "Daddy doesn't let me talk of such things but I can in front of you, can't I?"

Melancholy tugged at him before he shrugged it off. "Of course you can luv, you can speak of anything in front of me."

Brilliantly she smiled, the sunshine flitting in her wide blue gaze before becoming blank again. Skipping across the room she bent down and retrieved her own crown. Giggling Druscilla placed it on her loosely braided dark hair. Spike shifted in his wheelchair, hearing the creaking of the seat with a frown. He still wasn't strong enough to drop it yet. It was amazing how his body was supposed to be dead yet he still suffered from a numb bum.

Leaning his head back he relished the thought of burning the bloody contraption. Thanks to the Slayer though he still had several weeks between now and then. Damn Slayer! It had been relatively easy for his men to subtlely recruit three vampires willing to prove themselves to Lord Angelus despite his warning. Too easy. Now they were dusted and Angelus was most likely shagging away with the repellent Slayer. _Bleedin' sod_ Spike thought with rancor. If anything he should be at least grateful that Buffy had this hold over Angelus and Irish was so predictable, but he just couldn't quite find it. He thought his sire a ridiculous fool for wanting the Slayer. What was the attraction?

Keeping his gaze steady on Druscilla he appreciated each and every movement of her graceful form. He drank in the simple joy she took in giddily spinning 'round and 'round. At least she would be safe from Angelus' attentions for some time. Clenching his jaw Spike felt the raw fury burn through his veins, charring familial bonds in one act of emotional violence.

It wasn't enough that he had violated her humanity but to continue to torment her with his violent attentions-it took more each night to calm her. How long before they were all destroyed by it?

 _Not...going...to...happen...boyo._ Angelus would fall and his attraction, his damnable obsession for Buffy's flesh would ensure it.

Already he was ensconced in the bitch's bed thanks to instinct. The play between the two had gone on for too long so he just nudged it a bit. Spike could only hope that the Slayer had enough wits and spine to keep Angelus amused for more than a night or two. The longer she kept him entertained, the easier it would be for Spike to maneuver the pieces of mutiny into place.

Blessed by Druscilla's laughter Spike again saw a glimpse of sunshine. There could be no comparison between the two: demon or defiled bride of Christ, Druscilla held more within her than any human girl could ever even hope to.

What could the eternal attraction be between Angelus and human women? In all their years together Spike had been witness to countless of his bloody infatuations, but this one with the Slayer made all the others seem like quick kisses in the dark.

Gently smiling at the beauty of her glorious unbound hair, Spike idly wondered if Angelus even knew what it was. Perhaps he too was looking for a glimpse of elusive sunshine...

Druscilla's arms were outstretched and her head tilted back as she twirled in a circle. Abruptly the dizzying view of the ceiling changed into truth. A piercing scream flew from her throat as she bonelessly collapsed on the ground. Vaguely she heard Spike's hoarse shout before she was locked away from, locked away into her mind and the terrifying visions of truth that were displayed so vividly.

She did not feel the hand that wrenched the circlet out of her hair. She did not feel the fingers that smoothed her brow. She did not hear the pained sounds of worry. All Druscilla could do was lay there staring blankly into the space in front of her. Minutes passed as the vision filtered itself into her fractured mind.

Finally she slowly turned her head, feeling the leather beneath her cheek. Looking up into Spike's deeply concerned expression she whispered "It has begun."

 _The world still spun about and about..._

In a dimension that could be on Earth, that could be a million years into the past or a million years into the liquid future, time and space shifted. The disturbance could be felt by all the inhabitants causing them to still in their own existence. The disturbance continued to grow and grow much like the pebble, wave, and lake.

Coming out of the darkness a disembodied voice thundered. The voice thundered and reached all parts of the dimension, seeking to reach the inhabitants until none had doubt. The voice shouted only three words:

" **IT HAS BEGUN."**


	22. Chapter 22

"Hi Buffy!"

A bright, cheery voice cut through the noise of pre-first period rush, easily reaching Buffy's ears as she walked towards the steps. Turning around she saw Willow slowly making her way through the human crush in the hallway. After much halting and sidestepping Willow finally made her way to where Buffy stood.

Willow's scarlet hair was parted down the middle, the long ends prettily framing her flushed face. The purple sweater she wore was paired by a pair of blue jean overalls and purple sneakers tied with white laces. Her assortment of textbooks and notebooks were clutched tightly with one hand while the other was busy quickly smoothing back a lock of hair that had fallen onto her face.

"Hi Will" Buffy softly replied in greeting, the joy of seeing her friend clearly shown on her face.

Willow quickly smiled before saying "I thought you'd call this weekend. Did...you know, have something come up?"

Looking at her for a second Buffy decided to stay neutral. She knew her friends would not purposely distance themselves from her. Everything she knew about them for the past two years told her that but the venom from Angelus' insinuations and accusations had left an unwanted sentiment of distrust. As much as she tried to ignore it, nevertheless it remained there. Holding her own books a bit tighter Buffy smiled and said "No, not really. I just-" _Spent a weekend in hell_ she darkly thought, seeing flashes of darkness, pain, want, and Angelus.

Always Angelus.

 _His tongue languidly traveled down her body, working it's way down to the apex of her thighs, while she restlessly shifted on the wide bed. She didn't want to feel such pleasure but she also couldn't imagine him stopping. She was long past that. Hours past. His every touch hurt so badly simply because it made her feel so alive. The pain of his touch was devastating in its beauty._

 _Angelus knew her body as well as his own. Already he knew the places that made her sing without words, and he showed her others that heightened the pitch of her melody. He enveloped her in his scent; she never knew how masterfully wonderful her heated flesh could feel against the cool leather of his clothing._

 _His cool breath gently fanned the small patch of curls, parting them to display the gleaming folds within. She felt his hands firmly grip her thighs, pushing them far apart and causing her muscles to strain from the pressure. After much teasing Angelus finally drank deeply from Buffy, taking her to yet another height of guilty pleasure. Just when she thought she could not bear it, he drank from her again. This time from her thigh..._

Banishing him from the surface of her thoughts Buffy casually shrugged and allowed her smile to grow wider before finishing with "I really didn't do much, just hung around the house. Caught up on some homework-"

Willow's slender brow came up just the tiniest bit while her mouth twisted into a small, slightly-skeptical moue. "Homework Buffy?"

Rolling her eyes heavenwards Buffy raised her hand in exasperation. "What is it with everyone?! Can't I do homework? Is homework to me like crypton and Superman?"

"Umm Buffy? It's kryptonite." Willow helpfully pointed out. "Oh, and of course you're not like some comic book superhero. **You** have wonderful fashion sense and you don't have to find a phone booth before you can kick butt. Willow finished with a definite nod and said "You are far cooler than the Caped Crusader."

Seeing Buffy's 'I'm still waiting about the homework thing' face she rushed out with "I think we're going to be late to class. I'll see you in third period."

"Bye Will" she replied, not missing the avoidance of her homework issue. Watching her friend begin her daily dance of sidestepping and apologies Buffy murmured "Kryptonite. I always thought it was crypton. Hmmm, well I hope I'm right about it being a rock..."

Buffy turned around to walk up the stairs and had to wait for a student to move out the way. "Excuse me" she politely said. The boy just continued to stare at her open-mouthed. Buffy's brows arched a bit at his weirdness as she repeated again "Excuse me." The boy came down a step and mumbled "Hi" as he gazed adoringly at her face. Bewildered Buffy walked around him, shaking her head in wonderment. What was that all about?

The rest of Buffy's morning was uneventful. Boring, boring, blah, blah, homework, boring, boring. blah, blah, no homework (which was a big yea! for all involved) until third period. Buffy was rushing to class when she bumped into someone. Apologetically she said "Sorry" not really noticing who it was until she felt a hand on her arm. Looking up she was surprised to see it was the new student, Cynthia.

Dimly Buffy was again taken aback by the loveliness of the girl. Cynthia's curly locks were pulled back into a high ponytail, the style emphasizing the delicate yet strong bone structure of her face. Looking down at the hand Buffy arched a brow in question, not quite trusting her especially after all the hostility.

"I'm the one who should be saying sorry. It was my fault" Cynthia politely exclaimed. Looking down she pulled at a fallen strand of hair that was on Buffy's arm. "I should have paid more attention to where I was going." Buffy saw her flick her fingers, as if she was tossing the strand onto the tiled floor.

Pulling her arm back Buffy said "It's not a prob-if you weren't paying attention, neither was I." She flashed her a friendly smile, rethinking her impression of Cynthia. Impulsively she said "I know we didn't quite get off to a "friends-forever" start but I know how hard it can be coming to a new school." Glancing at a group of jocks barrel their way through the student population she emphasized "Especially at this school." Looking back at her Buffy said "If you want, you're always free to hang out with me and my friends."

Cynthia seemed to measure Buffy for a moment, making her aware again of a certain hostility, before smiling in return. "Thanks Buffy-it is Buffy right?"

"Yep, that's me." There was nothing but warmth in Cynthia's dark eyes now, definitely making Buffy believe that she had been paranoid. Angelus had that undesirable effect on her, causing her to believe that everyone was judging her.

 _He held her tightly within his arms, the gesture seemingly loving if not for the bruising force with which he held her. Languidly he sipped from her throat, purring deeply as Buffy sighed with lazy pleasure. One of her thighs was draped over his hard hip, one of her hands rhythmically clenching in the dark hair at his nape._

 _Angelus withdrew from her neck only to kiss her deeply. Buffy arched her back as the world opened up before her. Exquisite life waltzed with devastating death as her body rejoiced. The taste of them was not repellent to her senses, in fact it was intoxicating. She drowned in him, feeling his world and wanting him to be hers._

 _He released her mouth only to caress her smooth, tear-stained cheek. Opening up her eyes Buffy stared at the ceiling and saw everything. The colors, the textures, the minuteness of detail overwhelmed her. Allowing her lids to close and her head to fall into his silk covered chest Buffy softly asked "What's happening to me? Angel..._

"That's really nice of you Buffy. Maybe I'll take you up on your offer one day." Cynthia then walked into the classroom before turning back. Studying Buffy's face she commented "You look really pretty today, did you do something new with your hair?"

Startled Buffy merely shook her head no, again feeling something elusive, feeling that Cynthia knew something.

Shrugging the girl said "Oh well, anyways-maybe you're just one of those girls that looks good no matter how much sleep she gets. If you weren't so nice, I'd just be catty and hate you."

"I guess I'm lucky that you're not then" Buffy casually tossed over her shoulder as she made her way to her seat, not quite liking the comment or the oddness of it.

"Lucky, Definitely the word I'd use to describe you." It was murmured in a near whisper but Buffy's suddenly keen hearing picked it up. What did she mean by that? Thoughtfully Buffy stared as Cynthia took her seat, her mind whirling and weighing the girl's actions and comments. She couldn't know, could she? No one in Sunnydale really knew about her calling, no one **wanted** to know, so how could this new girl?

A hand tapped her on the shoulder, jolting Buffy out of her musings. The guy behind her asked "Hey did you finish problem 5? I heard that he's" he motioned with his head to Mr. Bushrow "picking it up today."

Buffy was about to answer "No" when she saw Willow waiting with her eyebrows raised. "I...hey! No copying." she said instead, turning away from his disgruntled expression and calmly opening her folder. She did do _some_ homework, just not for this class.

She would simply do a pass-in-the-notes-oops!-must-have-done-that-by-accident trick. Willow would never need to know...and gloat.

The rest of the period went by uneventfully. A couple of hours later a much needed lunchtime rolled around. Pushing her tray along Buffy reached for an orange while Willow commented "I saw you and the new girl in third talking-I guess she's coming around, huh?"

Looking over her shoulder Buffy said "I guess. She-" What was Cynthia? Nice? Maybe, but Buffy's feelings were mixed concerning her so she just finished with an ordinary "seems nice." It was on the tip of her tongue to ask Willow what she thought of Cynthia but then decided to talk to her about it later. Besides she was going to ask about Friday once they all sat down, so later was definitely better.

Handing over her lunch money Buffy thought about how to broach the subject of Friday. She just wasn't sure how to bring it up. Holding out a hand to receive her change Buffy stalwartly thought _They didn't leave me out purposely, I know it_.

After waiting for Willow to pay, they casually strolled the cafeteria looking for Xander. He usually found and held a table for everyone and today was no different. Seeing his raised arm both girls made their way to the far side of the room. "How do you do it Xander" Buffy asked in amusement. People were already cruising the large room, searching for a blank space among all crush.

Presenting his elbow Xander merely explained "This is one mighty sharp elbow Buff" before biting into a roll. Soon Oz and Cordelia made their way to the table. Usually the blunt cheerleader had her own special brand of commentary now that she was eating lunch with them and today was no different.

"God Xander! Could you have picked a **worse** table today?" We're all the way in the back like a bunch of losers," pausing she swept everyone with her gaze before she continued "which may be okay with you guys because you're used to it, but I'm not!" Cordelia bluntly griped as she slid into the seat next to her as-of-now-boyfriend.

Defensively Xander showed his elbow again and said "Hey! This elbow has done its job, do not insult it!"

Comfortably sitting in an uncomfortable chair Oz surveyed the view and nodded his head once. "It's low key, like us." His five word commentary conveyed his approval and respect for Xander's mighty elbow.

"Ugh! Is that chili on the wall?" Cordelia asked in disgust.

Reproachfully looking at his as-of-Friday-girlfriend Xander soothed his elbow while saying "It's okay man, I appreciate you." Gesturing with the offended limb he demanded "Kiss him!"

Cordelia merely rolled her eyes and began eating her lunch. However, to pacify his wounded pride she discreetly rubbed his leg with her own. Quickly both Xander and his elbow were appeased. After flashing a besotted grin Xander heartily tore into his spaghetti and the lunchtime drama was over-for the moment..

Buffy looked between Cordelia and Xander before sweetly saying "She wuuuvs him."

Oz looked at the two and agreed. "I can feel the love." Wanting to season his fries Oz looked for the salt before spotting it by Buffy's elbow. "Hey Buffy-can you pass the salt?"

"Sure" she replied, reaching for the small plastic container. "So Will-you gonna add your own commentary on the Cordy-Xander love affair?" Buffy asked while passing it to Oz.

Willow merely smiled and shook her head before glancing over at Oz. He was staring at Buffy, his hand on hers and his nose flaring for several moments. Suddenly he stopped, took the shaker and then resumed eating his food. How strange. If Buffy realized the intent perusal she gave no notice of it. She was idly playing with her food, pushing her spaghetti back and forth, occasionally taking a bite.

 _Is she getting sick?_ Willow concernedly wondered. She was about to ask when a ray of sunshine suddenly broke through the clouds, streamed through the window, and bathed her friend's face with warmth. Willow's eyes widened, her senses taken by surprise and any previous thoughts completely gone from her mind.

Buffy's skin seemed almost translucent, a beautiful golden light radiated from her poreless face. The youthful skin seemed perfect, not a blemish in sight. While Buffy boasted good skin, there was always the occasional pimple or blackhead. It went beyond her skin. Her brows were beautifully arched, not a stray hair at all. Even her lashes seemed darker and much longer. If Buffy wasn't in profile Willow would swear that she must have applied fake lashes, but it was obvious that she didn't.

Flicking her eyes upwards Willow realized that even her hair looked fuller, natural curls giving the tresses more volume without the aid of chemicals. Watching Buffy's mouth she saw that her lipstick had been wiped off. Normally Buffy's lips were pale without color but now they were a vibrant strawberry hue.

The longer Willow looked the more that it seemed that Buffy was not really Buffy at all. It was the same face but changed...living, textured porcelain. Did something happen over the weekend? On Friday? Is that why Buffy didn't call?

Cordelia's voice quickly broke through Willow's thoughts. "Why are you staring at Buffy?"

"Huh?" she asked in a daze. Seeing four pairs of eyes trained upon her she quickly regained her composure. "Oh! I was just...just... thinking of how, um, pretty Buffy looks today."

Buffy felt her face pale. It was the same comment again. Normally it would be a nice one but she felt as if she had been slapped instead.

 _Pulling back Angelus looked down at her. Blankly she looked up at him, realizing his displeasure but forgetting what she could have done. Then she remembered-she had cried Angel's name. His full lip was curled in a derisive snarl while his dark eyes blazed in terrible ire. Mentally she cringed from his unseen punishment. He would make her pay for saying the other._

 _His hand raised up only to softly stroke her cheek. "You are so beautiful darling,_ _ **so**_ _incredibly lovely." Leaning forward Angelus brushed his lips against her cheek. Drawing closer he whispered in her ear "But you already know that don't you?" Drawing back he looked down into her wide, watchful eyes. "I can see it here" his index fingers lightly brushed her lids, "you know you are."_

 _Never breaking eye contact with him Buffy shook her head. She wasn't beautiful, not naturally anyways._

" _Angel loved you and you loved him." Looking up he smoothed her hair back, enjoying the feeling of her locks against his hand. "You don't understand yourself. You don't understand what's happening, so you call for him instead of me." Piercing her with his stare Angelus suddenly smiled. "I understand baby, I'm not completely without compassion. You've always run to him."_

 _Lifting her out of his bed Angelus set Buffy on her shaky feet. "Run to your memories now Slayer. Let them comfort you tonight-perhaps Angel will even sneak out the Pearly Gates to visit."_

 _Mutely Buffy stared at him, feeling hot tears splash down her cheeks. It was beyond cruel to banish her this way. She would have preferred a slap or more to this. He could not leave her this way. But already he was cutting himself off and punishing her far more cruelly in the end with his_ _ **compassion**_ _._

 _Angelus withheld his touch from Buffy, striking her far more deeply than his fist or fangs ever could._

Her body's changes were obviously of an unnatural sort and humans responded to it naturally. Even if they didn't know what was wrong, instinct alerted them to the fact that something 'was' wrong. Oz had been staring at her earlier, maybe he was noticing the difference. Werewolves might be more sensitive to differences in body chemistry than humans.

Werewolves!

What if Oz could smell Angelus on her? He might even be smelling her own response as well! What if what he smelled was several days markings of sexual claiming? And now people were noticing the other. Oh she wished she didn't have to have this damn change!

Looking at her friends Buffy saw all of them quietly staring at her. Expecting to soon say something along the lines of new makeup and a fab makeover she was relieved when Cordelia shrugged and said "She looks the same to me-a blonde in need of makeover. No offense Buffy."

"None taken" she dryly replied. _I guess the makeover bit wouldn't have gone far anyways._

"No, I think..." Xander paused and leaned forward. "Did you do something with your hair?" Not giving Buffy a chance to answer he revised "No, no, that's not it. I thought you looked a little different, but you do look the same-one fine lookin' Buffster."

Cordelia loudly cleared her throat to which Xander turned to her and attempted to soothe her wounded vanity. Willow looked back at Buffy and her eyes widened again. She looked the same, only not the same as she was.

"Aww Cordy, honey, you know I didn't mean anything bad about what I said."

Now she looked normal. Slightly shaking her head Willow discreetly continued to observe her friend. She did not look the same as before.

"No...I'm sorry Xander Harris but that was just beyond insensitive..."

Tilting her head to the side Willows observed Buffy beneath the fringe of her lashes. No, she had to have been mistaken. It was probably a trick of light or maybe even her subconscious.

"Really Cordelia, Xander was just being nice. I'm sure he thinks you're way prettier than I am-"

"Well of course he does! Who wouldn't? But still, he shouldn't have said it like _that_..."

Straightening up in her chair Willow liked that theory very much. It was her subconscious projecting an idealized image of the goodness to be found in the Slayer.

"C'mon Oz-back me up on this! You know what I meant, don't ya?"

"Totally, but I wouldn't have said it like that in front of my girlfriend..."

Buffy was, after all, a special soul to carry such tremendous responsibility. The past several weeks had been very trying for all and this was just her psyche's way of relieving stress.

"See! He doesn't even have a girlfriend and he sees it..."

"Okay, you SO didn't help my situation..."

Biting into her apple Willow felt much better. Things were too weird in Sunnydale as it was without her imaginations making it worse. A small giggle escaped her. Hearing it Cordelia turned to Willow and asked "You haven't said anything yet. What do you think?"

Not sure of what was going on Willow looked at everyone before smiling weakly and saying "He wuuuvs you."

The bell suddenly rang, announcing the time for even more teen-age drudgery and the end of the C and X Show. Reluctantly the group scraped their chairs back and headed towards the tray drop-off area. Xander was apparently not in Cordelia's good graces as of yet, so a bit of groveling was in order. It was an assignment that he was quite comfortable with and one that she was quite comfortable assigning.

Because Buffy didn't get a chance to ask about Friday, that only left some time after school. She didn't know why she was making such a big deal out of it anyways, it was a simple misunderstanding. Just as she put her tray up Oz did and this left them facing each other. Buffy could see that he wanted to say something, instinctively she knew what-then the moment passed. Whether he lost courage or changed his mind Oz just said "See you in the library."

"Bye Oz. See ya." Watching him walk away Buffy grappled with what to say if he asked. Not if but when-Oz _would_ come to her, especially about this. Mentally sighing she knew that until Oz spoke to her, anything she thought right now could be the wrong thing.

Thankfully the rest of the day went by quickly. Buffy strolled into the library just as Giles was coming out of his office. He held a slender text in one hand as he was softly reading aloud from it. Seeing Giles brought such a strong rush of guilt that she should have been driven down to her knees by it. Her Watcher was obviously still searching for more information about her prophesy while she spent the weekend wallowing in lust. Her intimacy with Angelus never seemed more like a crime until the moment Giles looked up and warmly smiled with just a small movment of his lips.

How could she live with herself?

 _She hoped that he would take her home himself. But he did not. Instead he held out her clothes, the same ones she wore earlier. Buffy couldn't hide the disgust she felt when she saw the pile in his hand, nor could she hide the disgust she felt for them both. He merely withdrew his hand and casually tossed the clothes to the floor. "Forgive me lover. What was I thinking?"_

 _Buffy knew that his apology was as hollow as the pleasant lines in his face. Standing in the midst of his room she felt so muddled, the strength of her emotions pulling her in sharp jerks, each feeling determined to win. She needed to leave but she didn't want to. She wanted to stay here, to give up all the tomorrows for tonight. She was addicted to the wicked seduction of Angelus' sharp kiss._

 _The young girl struggled within herself, no longer recognizing her own flesh or what was truly right or wrong. She only knew that while momentarily sated, her body could not tolerate being gone from him for long. Staring ahead she watched him approach her, carrying a small bundle in his hand. Mutely she watched Angelus shake the cloth out to reveal a rich ruby velvet cloak._

 _Casually draping it across her shoulders he fastened the clasp shut. Looking down Buffy saw that she was completely hidden from view. Only when she shifted did the tips of her small toes show. Immediately feeling the plushness of fine velvet rub against her Buffy felt her body awaken. "It's lovely, thank you." So polite they were now, hiding all that had happened between them with gifts and thank-you's._

" _You seem to have again claimed a favorite piece of leather, this time another of my coats, so I'll gift you with this one as well."_

 _Startled Buffy looked at Angelus' sleeves and realized that they were shredded. Apparently in the throes of passion she had rent the supple fabric with her nails. Blushing slightly she felt obligated to apologize. "Sorry about that" she mumbled while automatically reaching for the leather coat._

 _Mocking laughter filled the room as he turned away from her. Sauntering over to the bed Angelus negligently sprawled himself against the headboard. His bent knee served as an armrest while his other leg was lay straight out. Buffy's blood boiled and her insides burned miserably at the picture of male beauty he created for himself. It was almost painful to watch him yet she still looked._

" _On your way home, beware the big bad wolf Buff. Oh and baby? Don't let yourself get caught with your cloak spread-I'll know" Angelus threw out as farewell._

 _Mutely she walked out the door-what more was there to say? She had been played with and now he was through. The house was eerily quiet. Coming into the main room Buffy saw that none of the revelers remained, only the echo of their laughter stayed-in her mind._

 _The utter stillmess was enough to make Buffy doubt the events of the past five hours. She only had to look at the table to remember. The sharpness of her vision clearly saw the tiny shards of glass scattered about. It happened. Quickly her nimble feet flew over the steps, across the marble foyer, and finally to the elevator. Mechanically she punched in the code, briefly waiting for the polished doors to hiss open._

 _Stepping in she heard the doors efficiently close behind her and the decent down began._ _ **Survive the night**_ _Lina had told her. She had survived the darkness of the night and now was free to find her own sanctuary. She was free to nurse her wounds and build up her walls again. She was free to shut Angelus out once more._

 _She had survived the night._

 _Almost as a whisper in her head she heard his voice. "Who do you belong to darling?"_

 _Inaudibly Buffy whispered "You. I belong to you and now I'm damned by it." She survived the night but how would she SURVIVE not being with him? Slowly Buffy sank down to the floor and wept while holding Angelus' coat to her face._

"Buffy, I trust your weekend went well."

Putting on the facade she nodded and asked "So do we know anything new?"

Rubbing the bridge of his nose Giles appeared extremely weary. "Not very much I'm afraid." Straightening his back in a slight stretch Buffy noticed the strain on his face give way to a wince of pain. She wanted to guide him to a chair but remained silent. Giles would not want her to see his strength slipping and she would not want to make him feel uncomfortable by exposing the little known fact. On the surface he appeared fine, but as Buffy now had intimate knowledge about the deceitfulness of the superficial, she could clearly see beyond.

While his pale blue shirt and gray slacks looked freshly laundered and his face was not shaded by several days growth of beard, his hair showed the dishevelment wrought by careless fingers. Giles' spectacles could not disguise the fatigue etched beneath his eyes. Eyes that usually appeared bright with snapping vitality were now dulled with the wistfulness of missed sleep. Dulled or not, however, they had no problem communicating to Buffy the keen intelligence honed through years of experience. "I'm surprised that I didn't see you this morning."

"Yeah...I'm sorry Giles. I meant to drop by but I was just running really late for class and well...I know how important punctuality is to you" she hurriedly finished.

 _She had actually gotten to school early with every intent of reporting to her Watcher. She steeled herself against all thoughts except slaying. With each step she took she felt stronger in her resolve to think of nothing but the immediate. The closer she came to the library, the more confident her walk became, a glint of purpose shading her hazel eyes verdant. Turning the corner she felt prepared to face Giles but upon facing the wooden double doors Buffy was quickly reminded of another pair._

 _A pair far grander and far older than those of the Sunnydale HIgh library. A pair that belonged to a creature far older than Sunnydale itself..._

 _Buffy lost all resolve as her senses drowned in the bitterness of carnality and torturous desire. Turning around she suffered the stun of disorientation. The young faces held no meaning for her. In the distance she saw a passing shadow of the blackest night. Her heart began to painfully beat in time to her tremulous breath._

 _Without hesitation Buffy's feet nimbly flew down the hall despite the growing crowd. Her eyes were glued to the beacon of dark hair and clothes. It was daylight, how could he be here? Why did he not come to her? Perhaps he wanted her to instead come to him..._

 _At times the crush became unexpectedly thick, squeezing Buffy back a few feet, causing her to become especially sharp with the faceless obstacles. Every moment that separated her from him was a moment that gave her an unrelenting hunger in the mind. She touched her neck, wondering why it didn't beat with the same ferocity that her heart did. Her eyes never left the smoothly moving figure, watching him turn the corner towards the direction of the gym._

 _Had he forgiven her for last night? she wondered, pushing herself through a throng of chattering girls, heedless to the curses they threw her way. The gym was usually dimly lit with plenty of dark recesses in which two people could hide. He would have chosen it just for those reasons. Only several yards ahead of her now Buffy saw him turn into the gym. Just the thought of touching him made Buffy softly moan, a sound that was surely carried to the male ahead of her._

 _Breaking into a run she quickly reached the door before it had completely closed. Rushing towards the dark clad figure Buffy laid her hand on his arm while tremulously crying "Angelus!"_

 _The person turned back to her in surprise. Buffy stepped back several steps, belatedly realizing that it wasn't her lover at all-simply a dark-haired faculty member wearing a black raincoat. Shamed to the roots of her hair Buffy stammered "Oh! I.I'm sorry!" before abruptly turning back out of the gym._

 _She fled to the girls bathroom and enclosed herself in a stall. For ten minutes she sat on the edge of the toilet seat while the shudders coursed through her trembling body. She pressed her fists to her eyes, hoping to erase all thought of him, all memory. It was no good. Even the bathroom stall itself reminded her of what she had done for him and done to herself._

 _How could she have been so confused? Remembering the incident she could now see no resemblance between the science teacher and Angelus. Only her mind believed it to be him, not her body, as her neck's lack of riotous pulsings had eloquently declared. But now her blood wanted her vampire badly, almost as if to be reassured that he was real and not a figment of her imagination._

' _ **It's too much'**_ _Buffy silently thought as she steadily stared at the ivory door in front of her. She could almost feel his cool fingers brush back her hair, she could clearly see the sensuously cruel twist of his mouth as she smirked at her._

 _Eventually Buffy found a way to fight for control over herself but the price was high. She scored her nails down her bare arms, over and over again, hardly feeling the pain. Blood freely welled in crimson drops, but was never given an opportunity to anoint her clothing. The wounds closed too quickly, tragically reminding her of what she had become._

 _A creature of Angelus' making._

Smiling slightly he replied "It should be important to you also Buffy." Relaxing his shoulders Giles repeated himself. "Did the weekend off go well for you?"

Her features were inscrutable, innocent to those who would want to see such sweetness. "Yes. I felt a little weird without two days of patrol," pausing she ruefully smiled, "made me remember what it was like without 'extracurricular activities', but it gave me a chance to catch up on homework."

Giles cleared his throat slightly before asking "Homework Buffy?"

Buffy opened up her mouth in protest before muttering in chagrin "Nevermind." Walking towards the librarian station she breezily stepped behind the counter and deposited her weapons bag on the floor. Coming back she asked "Anything happen during patrol?"

Buffy and Giles had argued vehemently about the issue of weekend patrol.

Buffy had wanted to, Giles had wanted her to stay home.  
She refused, he threatened to make her.  
She laughed, he frowned.  
She smugly yet discreetly gloated, he sighed sadly.  
She looked at his melancholy yet stiff upper-lip, he sighed even louder.  
She reconsidered, he pounced.  
She grilled his every proposed movement, he reminded her who was Watcher and who was Slayer.  
She pouted, he raised a British eyebrow.  
She grudgingly agreed, he openly gloated.

Stubbornness alone made her patrol that Friday night, despite Giles' wishes, and allowing fate to play a merry jest with her life. By Saturday Buffy could barely keep herself from screaming aloud much less wield a stake.

Now she regretted letting Giles bully her out of patrol. He could have been harmed. _Something you should have thought about before now Buffy_. She should never have agreed to it. It was the last patrol he would do and no amount of Watcher bullying was going to change her mind.

Sitting on the edge of the table he allowed one leg to idly swing back and forth. Giving her his full attention Giles shook his head and said "Umm, actually no. It was rather odd. There were no risings, no attacks. Simply put-there was absolutely no activity."

Frowning Buffy was surprised. "Nothing?" Since she moved to Sunnydale there had always been something on the weekends, even if it was a case of Pimerotaque trolls. The past week had been unnaturally quiet and now the weekend had been too. Looking back Buffy knew now that in the back of her mind she believed it to be a part of some strange courtship ritual of Angelus'. But after Friday, she would have expected things to resume back to normal.

Which is more reason why Giles should not have been patrolling by himself. Buffy felt the shame burn her again because she never gave it more than a cursory thought during the past two days. She was just thankful that nothing had happened because of her personal failing, but now it was time to play catch-up.

 **Why** had the weekend been so quiet? Surely Angelus didn't turn over a new leaf in search of peace, or because their new change in circumstance. No, he wouldn't keep his goons from raising Hell just because they were... _Don't be shy. Fucking Buffy. You and Angelus fuck, or at least he fucks you._ What was going on?

Gracefully folding herself onto a chair Buffy looked up at her Watcher and said "I don't like it."

Agreeing Giles nodded his head. "Neither do I. Vampires residing on the Hellmouth and not following their nature? I don't understand it." He rubbed his chin for several moments, his mind obviously selecting and discarding several theories. Slowly his swinging foot came to a halt. "Such behavior perhaps suggests that a shift in their ranks is occurring. Spike held control until very recently yet the transition of power was rather bloodless considering the circumstances. Maybe he's prepared to take back his position and they're awaiting the outcome, not wanting to make a definite move to either side."

Nodding her head while she listened Buffy's own mind raced in search of answers. While she hadn't seen Spike recently she didn't sense his hand behind this. She sensed Angelus'. Just from what she observed last night, there was no doubt that Angelus held power over his clan in Sunndale. The power was not even close to being in Spike's control-Angelus held it firmly.

Buffy learned many things the past two days and her education was far from being purely sexual. She was learning that he did nothing without reason, continuously setting the chessboard of his world with precise strategy. If the undead sector of Sunnydale was pulling back, the pieces on the board were merely changing. Why?

"I don't think so Giles. If there was a war between them the streets would report it. I haven't heard anything."

"Heard what?" Oz asked, his gaze settling on Buffy.

Looking over his shoulder Giles greeted Oz with "Oh, hullo Oz." Coming off the table he elaborated. "Buffy and I were discussing the lack of vampire activity this past week."

Setting his bookbag on the floor Oz asked "Do you think that it has to do with Buffy's prophesy?"

"There is just as strong a possibility of that as to my earlier theory. Quite frankly I'm at a loss." Pausing for a moment the Watcher looked at a point in the distance as he murmured "something that is happening more and more often." Before either Buffy or Oz could dispute his statement he briskly continued. Piercing the younger boy with his sharp gaze Giles explained "I was suggesting to Buffy that perhaps the vampires are preparing for a change in power, keeping their visibility to a minimum, in order to-"

"Not step in it?" Oz supplied.

Smiling slightly Giles nodded his head and replied "Yes. That is my theory," pivoting to the left he now included Buffy with his gaze, "but Buffy disagrees with me."

"Why? What do you think it is?"

"I don't know." Pushing her chair back Buffy came to the front of the table and leaned back on it. "I just don't think there's a struggle for power-yet. It's no secret that Spike isn't to be trusted," frowning she voiced with much irritation "I'm sure he'll crawl out from under the rock he's been hiding soon enough, but I don't think this has to do with him."

"So you're going on a hunch, instincts right? I can trust that." Oz declared while settling himself into a chair. Leaning back he laid his crossed hands on his stomach and said "Maybe someone's pulled the big uglies back to keep out of Buffy's way."

Buffy paused, the feelings of Oz's statement causing her to come back to Angelus. _...beware the big bad wolf Buff_

Interest flaring in his face Giles came closer to the table. "Are you suggesting Angelus?"

His gaze flitting over to Buffy for a second Oz answered "He's got the most to lose if Buffy dies."

Her eyes shaded with wariness Buffy listened while Giles asked "What do you mean?"

"Well if Buffy falls to someone other than him, it's like someone stealing his car while he's still sitting in it."

 _Is there more to that sitting? it's not another one of those nasty guy sex-talk ways of saying "riding", is it?_

"Makes him look real bad, real stupid. I don't think Angelus is the kind of guy who can shrug that off."

 _That's true._

Looking up at Buffy he clarified "I have total faith in you, I know you won't go out like that-"

 _Oz I've already gone out like that. You know don't you?_

"-but I'm sure he doesn't feel the same."

Pondering Oz's words Giles rubbed his chin for several moments. Finally he asked "But Buffy's been attacked several times since..." the absence of words hung heavily in the air before Giles briskly finished with "Angelus' return. Why would he take this tact now?"

Silent for a moment Oz appeared to be carefully choosing his words. "Maybe because he wants her."

On the inside she wondered at how it could all be summed up so neatly "Maybe because he wants her."

The absence of sound in the large library was deafening. Giles appeared to have been kicked in the gut, almost as if he had never allowed himself to think of Angelus feeling anything remotely sexual towards his Slayer-at least that's what it looked like to her. Turning away from her Watcher, Buffy stared at Oz, her face decidedly void of all feeling, all thought.

Oz stared back, but not in challenge. His eyes appeared troubled, not quite as confident as they usually were. It was as if silently he were looking for the answers from her. What did he expect to see? What did he want her to say? _I didn't sleep with him again, and again, and again? Right now at this instant I wouldn't strip myself naked for him?_

Giles' face suddenly took on a palid hue, a sheen of moisture dotting his upper lip and dampening the hair at his temples, while his eyes gleamed with a faraway look of disbelief. Whirling around he urgently asked "Buffy, has Angelus made any advances towards you at all? Any? Has he come near you or your home?"

"Giles-" Buffy began, her voice clearly sounding harassed.

"Answer me girl! Has Angelus made ANY advances towards you at all?"

 _Do or die. It comes out or not. Oz either knows or he doesn't. Now is the time to come clean._ "No! Angelus has not come near me Giles, not for a couple of weeks."

Giles looked away from Buffy, his jaw set tightly and his mind obviously processing her words. Turning towards her again he demanded "When was the last time?"

Feeling a bit of panic now that the lies were really going to begin she hid it by lightheartedly complaining "Don't you have it recorded somewhere in your-"

Raising his voice he snapped "Now is not the time to be flippant with me." Looking at Buffy he saw that she was completely unfazed by his raising ire, almost as if she expected it. Why would she expect him to be angry with her?

Was it because she was hiding something from him?

Or was it because of the guilt that had been eating her since she lost her innocence to Angel?

Glancing at Oz he noticed that the young man was completely stepping out of the picture, allowing the events to unfold between himself and Buffy. _Buffy would never lie to me. She is not hiding anything from me, I know it._ Forcing his voice to a lower decibel Giles said "Please, Buffy, when was the last time that you fought?"

Not taking her gaze from his Buffy smoothly answered "Right before the prophesy came out."

"Right before? The night before, two, three?"

She paused a moment before replying "Five." Silently she justified her lies by the knowledge that as long as no one knew about Angelus and herself, she would better protect them. Somehow it still rang hollow within the confines of her mind...

"What was the last thing he said to you?"

"Giles-" Buffy prefaced this with a disbelieving laugh.

"Buffy, I beg of you, try to remember what he said to you. Angelus is known for his ego and arrogance-I know he would have said _something_ to you."

Closing her eyes for a moment she then opened them while tipping her head back. Without much inflection in her voice she called out "He said that I was a terrible lay. He said that even God almighty would not force him to endure me for an eternity. He said that if by chance I was turned, he would run a stake through me himself." Bringing her head down she faced Giles' direct gaze with one of her own. The memories of those words made the pain in Buffy's hazel eyes very real, even if the timeline was false.

Hating to see the hurt in her face Giles still forced himself to clinically ask "Did he seem consumed by hatred for you?"

Letting out a dry chuckle Buffy thought about how easily it was for him to let her go the night before. Hatred? No, there was no hatred there-only a deliberate calculated act of cruelty. Angelus' inhumanity was far more pronounced when there was distance, whether physical or emotion, and no real hatred. At least any hatred that she had been taught to see as such.

"No, Giles he didn't show any hatred, not anymore. He appeared more bored by me than anything."

"What do you mean by anymore?"

"I mean just that. When Angel-" there was a noticable catch in her voice before she continued "-left Angelus' hatred was there in his every word, his every...step. Then there was his Judge thing, well, after that...not much else. Whatever demons he had about me, about Angel, they're gone." _If I tell them and myself that long enough, maybe I'll begin to believe it..._

"How can you be so certain?"

"I don't know Giles. I can't be." Taking a deep breath Buffy managed to keep her voice from betraying her lies. "All I can tell you is that it's different with him now. I don't see him when I patrol, he hasn't been harassing my family, me, or any of my friends." Pausing she asked "Has he approached you?"

Shaking his head slightly Giles answered "No."

"When he walked before, how did he deal with the Watchers?"

A hard look entered his eyes while he brusquely explained "Torture, maiming occassionally, death always."

"Did it start off early or late?" she quickly asked, neatly turning the questions away from herself.

"Early."

Buffy silently digested the information, already knowing the answers before the questions but wanting to hear it from his lips. Angelus had been a vicious bastard, carving plain crosses into the faces of some victims, but only did the Watchers have intricate designs of Christianity carved into their flesh.

Forcing the pictures from her mind Buffy continued. "So he made his intentions pretty clear, didn't he? The girls that he wanted-"

"You mean his victims, don't you?"

Slightly nodding her head Buffy hated herself in that moment. How could she be so fucked in the head to desire such a godless, remorseless creature! "How was he with them?" She forced herself to stand perfectly still and await the words that were already burned into her heart.

"It depended. At times he courted them quite extensively, other times he pulled them into an alley and..." pausing Giles' distaste was plainly heard in his voice "drained them after he had finished. His need was compulsive, obsessive, and utterly methodical even in its passion."

"Did he play games with them?" she continued to ask, even as she shouted to herself to just shut-up.

"Games. Oh yes, that bloody bastard played games with them. Only with a few though, generally his infatuations lasted solely a night or two. Especially when Darla visited."

Lifting her head up Buffy queried "Darla?" Angel had barely mentioned his dead sire, and the fact that she died by his hand made her feel that there could never have been anything too deep between them. When Druscilla arrived with Spike Angel could not bring himself to kill her, so as much as she hated it, she knew that there had been something between them. But Darla?

"Angelus was usually preoccupied with being her consort." Frowning he amended "Well, actually he was occupied with keeping her as HIS consort in whatever luxurious accomodations there were to be had. The streets were generally safer when she visited..."

Sudden rage rose in Buffy's heart. The power of her jealousy blanked all other thoughts out of her mind, other than to see them both dead. It didn't matter that Angel had already killed Darla, Buffy wanted to do it again. "So he was too busy boinking her, right."

"Umm, you could put it like that."

"Maybe he's too busy boinking Druscilla." While her words were calmly said, Buffy felt the relentless drum of jealousy pound her. _He better not, be better not be with her..._ Buffy did not even allow herself to think about the utter pointlessness of her emotions or what they meant...

The Watcher digested Buffy's words, soon following the path that his Slayer so easily lay for him. "His infatuation with Druscilla was strong during her humanity and transcended many normal bonds after death. He is still quite enamored of her, I'm sure. Perhaps you're right Buffy-"

Sensing her hollow victory Buffy smoothly said "Giles, I'm not saying to totally discount Angelus or any of them as a threat, but I don't think that Oz quite has it."

"Quite?" her Watcher pressed.

"Okay, so I didn't want to be rude but I don't think Oz is on the right track." _He'll either come out now or he won't._

Both Slayer and Watcher turned their gazes onto Oz, silently awaiting his next words with separate motives. After the stillness stretched for several moments Oz nodded his head once and finally replied with "Okay, so my first shot at it was wrong.. Maybe there's a conference. I heard that Puerto Vallarta is excellent this time of year."

Giles arched a brow as he repeated "Puerto Vallarta?"

"Hey, just brainstorming. It's what I do between talking."

Shaking his head at Oz's words Giles heaved a large sigh. She was safe. His translation of the ancient scrolls of Arramitik had been correct and she was safe, at least from that part of the prophesy. Even though Angelus had not been taken into that kind of account, now he knew that his error had not had consequences.

By her own words Angelus was not interested in her. While calculating the possible translations neither he nor Jenny had seriously thought out Angelus' motives being beyond the public battlefield. It could have ended up being a serious error on their part. Angelus did not want Buffy. Perhaps it was because she was a Slayer. Angelus had killed other Slayers and by all accounts he never courted them for their feminine attention. He simply did not desire Buffy.

Which was excellent for all for while he had plenty of training in physical combat and strategy, Giles knew he could not successfully battle Angelus for long. He had not the resourcefulness nor the keen skill to protect Buffy if the demon wanted her. It was impossible for Angelus to keep away from the ones he desired. Human women had always been his weakness, the years of being Angel would not have been able to change that. If he wanted to destroy Buffy, he would seek her out.

So Angelus was not, thank God, a part of the research he and Jenny had found. But they hadn't been so sure at first...

It was quite by accident that he and Jenny had even come across the tiny reference concerning the new, volatile religion, the flaming orb and the distant frozen world, and most importantly-the Slayer.

 _ **Drift across the liquidness of time  
Find the one unlike power but like  
Touch the creature and find life or  
everlasting banishment  
Keep it clean**_

 _ **The newness of faith will hold all  
lies and truth  
all the same**_

 _ **Search for the flaming creature belonging to the orb  
Find the land of darkness  
Near and far**_

 _ **The creature hides from the cold light  
The creature is free**_

 _ **The creature melds with this faraway place  
The creature is enslaved**_

 _ **The creature is enslaved...**_

This unearthing eventually had led him to the scrolls. Etched across the fragile, heat baked documents they had uncovered a few lines dedicated to a date. After much calculations and separate verifications they both came to one day: last Friday.

 _ **One moment in time  
Led by countless  
Freedom is desired  
Choice is courted  
Decision is by one  
Only one**_

While difficult it had only taken them six hours to bring the pieces together. Much had been debated. Could the obvious reference to the night not really be so obvious? Did it refer to Buffy's slaying or to not? Could Angelus be the danger or many?

Soon Jenny and himself came to the uneasy conclusion that it was not possible, a vampire as strong as Angelus would surely be mentioned directly, or at the very least, the mention would be singular.

If not Angelus then it had to be to her night time slaying, meaning it could come from any direction. The only decision to be made was to have Buffy stay home that weekend. While their calculation had led them to Friday, there was always the possibility that they could be off a day or two. After much conferring the realization was that the day did not fall before Friday, but because of the differences in the measurement of a full day, it _could_ extend past. To be safe Buffy had to be in before dark, yet he could not directly come to her or even see her. The scrolls had stated:

 _ **Life yet unknown  
Choices yet unmade**_

 _ **must not see nor be seen  
must not hear nor be heard  
by the creature**_

 _ **If so foolish**_

 _ **Tragedy will befall  
Destiny will be set**_

 _ **The choice must be made by one  
The choice must be made without gifts  
Only the gift of ignorance**_

 _ **The choice must be made  
Alone  
By one  
Only one**_

 _Convincing Buffy not to patrol had been a task far harder than it would have been several weeks ago, back when Angel had been on their side. It was absolutely imperative for her to stay home and not venture into the night. Eventually she had agreed. Even though the choice was ultimately hers, he had done what he could to influence her. The thought that he was interferring crossed his mind, but he was reassured in the fact that her time was not yet there._

 _The found prophesy only mentioned the time of her trial, not before. To be safe he had ordered her to stay. There had been a lapse when he had said he could make her. Thankfully Buffy had laughed, thereby bringing him back to task. In the end she had agreed and it had been_ _ **her**_ _choice._

 _That night Giles made a sweep of the cemetaries and found nothing. While on one hand that eased the stress of battle from his palette, it also raised questions._

 _Later he and Jenny had stayed in the library and continued to work. The hours flew by while simultaneously feeling as if they were bogged down by mire. A knot twisted his gut viciously, the uneasiness of the night weighing heavily on him._

 _Even Jenny appeared unsettled, the constant soft hum of her laptop not able to disguise the nervous rapping of her fingers on the table, nor the continuous tapping of her foot on the floor. When the sudden storm erupted, the lights dimmed several times before going out completely. Only the luminous electronic glow of Jenny's machine provided illumination._

 _Moving to her side of the table with book in hand Giles pulled out the chair next to her. Glancing at the active screen he asked "How?"_

 _Smiling slightly Jenny explained "It's running on batteries. I always make sure I'm using them when we work on_ _ **our**_ _kinds of subjects. See? Lights go out, but we don't."_

" _Yes, well that's...nice."_

" _C'mon Rupert, surely you can say something more than just NICE?" Jenny cajoled._

 _Smiling painedly Giles searched before laying his book on the table and peered at it. Finally he elaborated with "I, umm...it provides good lighting? Considering the circumstances" he added as an afterthought._

 _Patting him on the shoulder Jenny remarked "I know how hard that was for you. It'll get better next time, I promise."_

 _Looking away from the text Giles raised his eyes, meeting Jenny's. "Will it?" he asked in return, a haunting sadness deepening the grooves of his face._

 _Both knew that those two words signified far more. Grasping his hand in her own Jenny squeezed it in comfort. "You did what you could. The fact that we found it was a miracle in itself! Buffy is home safe-"_

" _Is she? Safe that is."_

" _Rupert, you can't second-guess yourself. Anything more would constitute direct violation-"_

" _Yes, yes, but how can we be certain? Perhaps if I go there now-" Rising he made to stand up before being pulled back down by a surprisingly strong hand._

" _Look at me," she waited until he looked directly at her. In very measured tones she said "If you go there you WILL close any escape she could have had. The scrolls are very specific: if she sees you, hears you, or if you directly change her circumstance, it will be the end of her. She must choose her own path Rupert, we can not force her."_

" _I should have told her!"_

" _If you do not let her choose her path, she will be forfeit to the prophesy."_

" _I know" he sighed wearily. Looking down at his clasped hands Giles felt the weight of the world on his shoulders. No matter all his efforts throughout the past two years to distance himself emotionally from Buffy, it had all been in vain. He loved the Slayer as much as he loved the child he never had._

 _To lose her...it would be unbearable._

 _His throat muffled with unshed tears Giles rasped "Jenny-I, I'm scared." He felt the comforting warmth of her arms slide about him just as his large frame shuddered from the strength of his sobs._

Giles had been overjoyed to see Buffy that afternoon. When she did not come that morning he had been beset with fear. It had taken Jenny's strength to keep him from contacting Buffy or going by her house, then he had to see if she was even in school. Once the office received her record of attendance he had allowed himself the tiniest bit of relief.

She was safe.

If she survived her test of choice, then perhaps the Acrymydion prophesy was no longer a threat to her. He had to be sure. So he had spent the rest of the day researching every available source. When Buffy had finally come in he had to force himself not to grab her and spin her around. He wanted to tell her about this new discovery, but he still feared that he was wrong. Until he knew for sure, Buffy had to continue under the belief that the loathsome prophesy had not changed.

"Where are the others?" Giles asked.

Buffy shrugged. "I don't know, they'll probably be here soon."

Oz answered "I think Willow is meeting someone to give them some work they missed."

Nodding the Watcher said "I'll be back. I need to check on something." He was about to walk away when he stopped and asked "Buffy, you didn't patrol on Friday, did you?" He HAD to ask. Even though he knew she COULD NOT have unknowingly jeapordized her life by disobeying him, he HAD to ask...and wait for her words.

Her voice was completely calm and unruffled when she lied "No, I stayed like you asked."

"Suggested, not asked" Giles quickly pointed out.

Frowning at the oddness of his statement Buffy said "Okay. I did what you suggested."

Nooding in satisfaction Giles turned around, walked into his office, and quietly closed the door. Sliding into his new chair he felt every muscle in his body relax. There could be no doubt now: Buffy was safe.

He did what he swore he would: he found a way to save her life.

For the first time in too long Rupert Giles felt something very rare: pure joy.

Alone with Oz Buffy decided to attack first, if attack was the best word for what might happen between friends. "I get the feeling you want to say something to me."

Standing up Oz made his way to where Buffy stood. Stopping in front of her he nodded his head and said "Yeah, I do."

Buffy's eyes glanced to the closed door of Giles' office briefly before she said "Okay, so go."

Shrugging one hand into his pocket Oz took out a tiny, folded up piece of paper. "See this?" Waiting for Buffy's nod he continued. "This is Willow's. I found it in the hallway today." Pausing a moment he amended. "Actually it wasn't IN the hallway. It was on the floor, under the lockers, which happen to be in the hallway. You know what I mean?"

"I guess Oz." _What did this have to do with Angelus?_

"I don't think you really do." Not waiting for Buffy to answer he murmured "I think you will though once I finish." Holding up the tiny slip of paper Oz slowly brought it to his nose before pulling it away. "You know how I've got this werewolf thing working for me now, right?" he asked in a bland voice.

Nodding Buffy replied "Yeah..." during the heavy silence she felt compelled to assure Oz "which you know that I'm completely okay with. Definitely werewolf friendly here," wrinkling her nose slightly she amended "well, you know-beyond the-fact-that-you-would-tear -out-my-throat-if-you-weren't-locked-up-thing. "

Letting a small smile twist his lips Oz said "Glad to hear that." Straightening up he allowed the smile to fall from his face. "I'm still trying to understand the changes that I've gone through, the ones I'm going through, and the others that I haven't even yet to feel." Taking a deep breath Oz lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck. "The other side of me is only here for a few nights out of the month, but it's not only the change that I feel. The wolf side is coming out even before the physical can react."

Patiently Buffy waited, tense with wariness yet curious for curiosity's sake. Oz never opened up or spoke more than necessary. In all the time she knew him, this was probably the most she had ever heard him say.

"I can smell things..hear things... _taste_ things that I never could before. At first I thought that it was all my imagination or that maybe I was going a little schizoid." Rocking back on his heels Oz asked "Did you know that Angel knew?"

Taken aback Buffy blinked once before repeating "Angel?"

"Angel...he knew. It was after playing a set at the Bronze. I was getting off the stage when it was like WHAM! I could feel her, smell her hair,-"

"Her?" she broke in, shock and confusion lacing her voice from Oz's confession.

"Willow. It was Willow, but I didn't know then." Piercing her with his gaze he continued. "Buffy, I was _drowning_ in her but...not. Apart yet together." Shaking his head Oz quietly said "I don't know how to explain it even now, I'm still trying to understand it." Looking away he seemed lost in his thoughts while Buffy became lost in hers.

Angel knew about Oz, even before she did. Why didn't he ever say anything? Sighing softly Buffy immediately knew why. Angel wouldn't break Oz's confidence; he would have felt that it wasn't his place to say anything.

Angel.

Bittersweet love tightened Buffy's chest and hot tears rose to bathe her eyes before she quickly blinked them away. She forced herself to hide her feelings deep down inside, away from the present. It was something that she was getting frighteningly good at doing...

Clearing her thoughts she focused on Oz's words.

"...it was the most terrifying thing. Still is. Even worse than actually changing."

Silent Buffy nodded her head in encouragement.

"I was having what I thought was an episode, when he just came out and said "The wolf is getting stronger." That was it, nothing more, just 'The wolf is getting stronger."

Looking down Oz stood silent for another moment, searching for the words or maybe just searching through the memories. Tilting his head he continued. "I remember just staring at him, just thinking should I say 'I think you've inhaled too much crypt dust' or just say 'Cool. Wolf getting stronger-I really needed to know that.'"

"So what DID you say?"

"Say? Nothing-I just kept quiet." Crookedly grinning Oz mocked himself by commenting "I've been told I excel at it."

Laughing Buffy agreed while demonstating with her thumb and pointer pressed together "Just a little bit." The atmosphere lightened considerably before settling down very quickly, both sides again being unsure of the other.

Clearing his throat Oz continued. "Angel pulled a chair out and waited until I took it. He then sat down, and hunched over the table-you know, just kind of put his elbows on it and took over the table. You know what I mean?"

A small strangled chuckle escaped Buffy's lips as she replied "Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I used to-" _I used to always say that furniture was never made large enough for him and he'd always give me a goofy smile. It was such a goofy, perfect smile...God! how much I miss his smile. Damn you Buffy! You have no loyalty-you don't deserve Angel. When was the last time you thought about him before now? All you've thought about is Angelus. The only time you even gave Angel a thought was out of guilt. Some guilt-it didn't stop you from opening up your legs for Angelus again, did it? You deserve the demon and everything that he chooses to do to you..._

Oz patiently waited for her to finish her sentence, seeing the grief paint her expression with such violent colors. When Buffy finally cleared her throat it was just to say in a husky tone of voice "I know what you mean."

Silent for a moment Oz was torn between giving comfort to a friend and running the risk that his comfort would be misplaced and unwanted. Instead he began to talk again. "Angel asked..."

" _How long has it been since you were bitten?"_

 _Oz stared at Angel for several moments, undecided if he could trust anyone with his secret._

 _Letting out an unnecessary sigh Angel leaned away until his back was fully resting against the small chair. "I'd like to help you-but I can't if you won't let me."_

" _What makes you think I need any?" he asked a bit coolly._

 _Glancing at the now-empty stage Angel replied "If you keep on like the way you were a few minutes ago-everyone will know."_

 _Interest flared on Oz's face as he imperceptibly leaned closer. "What do you mean?"_

" _It's like I said-the wolf is getting stronger. Guessing by your reactions to her, I'd say that you haven't been one for very long."_

" _Her?" Oz asked vehemently._

 _A kind half-smile shaped Angel's lips briefly. "Her. The one your human side wants your wolf side to accept. The one that makes your wolf take notice. Willow."_

 _Letting Oz digest this bit of information Angel signaled for a passing waiter. Giving his order Angel silently observed the young man across from him, seeing that he was locked in his own thoughts._

 _Willow._

 _Oz suddenly focused on the beat of his heart, instinctively feeling that a path had been cleared for him-if he'd only open his senses and see it._

 _ **Ba-boom. Ba-boom. Ba-boom.**_

 _ **Ba-ba-boom. Ba-boom-boom.**_

 _ **Ba-ba-boom-boom. Ba-ba-boom-boom.**_

 _Unconsciously Oz opened his mouth slightly while furrowing his brow._

 _ **Ba-ba-boom-boom.**_

 _Scanning the room Oz sought the heatbeat intwined with his own, surveying and discarding each face until a flash of red flared brightly in the charcoal scape. A powerful jolt went through him, darkness smearing his vision and then..._

 _...clarity..._

 _Closing his eyes Oz felt her heart, he could hear her blood flow, he could SMELL the blood flow from her pure womb. It flowed thick and heavy, her body's mourning drink of barreness._

 _Hot, so hot._

 _It beckoned him, awakening the predator's need to seek out the giver of this precious liquid. The knowledge of her most private moments drove him to unconsciously bolt up from his chair. Only the solid pressure of Angel's hand kept him from tearing across the room and..._

 _And what?_

 _The wildness receeded, leaving the unsureness of humanity. Shaking a bit Oz sank into his chair. How did he do that? How could he hear her and even more important-how could have ever known that Willow was on her period? Suddenly an ice-cold sensation pricked his hand. What was it? Another aspect of the wolf?_

" _I thought you might need this."_

 _Looking down Oz realized that Angel had pushed a drink into his hand. Absently lifting it he halted his hand. Turning his head slightly he asked "Alcohol?"_

 _Shrugging Angel said "Like I said-I thought you might need it."_

 _Nodding once Oz took a healthy drink, the alcohol burning a streak of fire down his throat. Coughing a few times Oz choked out "You know you're...contributing to the...delinquence...of a minor?"_

 _Chuckling Angel leaned over and slapped his back a few times. "In my day you would have been man enough to have a wife and a few namesakes of your own." Sitting back he waited for Oz to stop coughing before asking "Okay now?"_

 _Pushing the drink away Oz let out one last cough before saying "Totally." Looking at the vampire across from him he asked "How did you-"_

" _How did I know you were a werewolf or how did I know about Willow?"_

" _Both."_

 _Resting his forearms on the small table Angel replied "Well about you being a wolf-historically you and I are enemies. Vampires and werewolves that is. You get a sense of those around and...well...I knew when I first saw you."_

 _Holding eye contact with him Oz felt a shifting inside, an awareness that suddenly screamed at him to get away from Angel. He ignored it._

" _I see that you feel it now-now that you know." Pausing for a moment Angel stared at the younger male, getting a sense of the inner turmoil. "You're also ignoring it." Nodding in satisfaction he remarked "A lot of others wouldn't be strong enough to override their instinct, but you are."_

 _Oz merely shrugged. "It's not a big deal. I know you're not my enemy, even if you are a vampire."_

 _Shifting in his chair Angel exclaimed "Ah! That's your logic Oz, but not your instincts. When you're like them" he gestured with his finger at those in the Bronze "your logic can be trusted, no matter if it's wrong. When you're like us, your instincts will override your logic every...single...time."_

" _But then?" The question hung in the air._

" _Unless you're as strong as them both-human and demon."_

 _Oz drew back, his face a scowl of wariness. "Demon?"_

 _Angel lowered his head a bit. His voice was emotionless as he said "They say that all that are not completely human and walk the earth come from the seed of demons. Werewolves would fit the bill."_

 _Oz took a deep breath and reached for his drink. He took a small sip this time, feeling a pleasant warmth heat his insides. Demon. The word itself was terrifying with all its connotations. Not that being a werewolf was the easiest thing to get used to, but he always equated it with just being a big hairy dog-like creature. Okay, so a mean one but still-a dog-like creature._

 _Not a demon._

 _Demons were evil._

 _Demons were beings damned by God._

 _Angel's voice broke through his rambling thoughts. "Look-it doesn't have to define who you are."_

" _It doesn't?" Oz let out a bitter, sarcastic chuckle. Bringing the glass back to his mouth he muttered "I have demon in me."_

" _So do I" the vampire replied quietly._

 _Oz paused with the drink almost touching his lips. Slanting a look towards Angel he saw him steadily staring back. Sighing again he put the drink back down on the table._

" _Listen to me Oz: this doesn't mean you're sentenced to a life of evil. The wolf is a part of you, okay, but there's the other side of you that IS human. The side that is as strong, if not stronger than your animal impulses."_

" _I don't know..."_

" _I DO know." Pinning Oz with his fierce stare Angel said "You are strong Oz. Strong enough to one day control the wolf. When we can control both sides, we can show both sides-or neither. You accept yourself, you accept your power, one day the night will no longer dominate you."_

 _A thick heavy silence descended over the tiny table. Oz reeled from the implications. His curse, his terrifying secret, might one day disappear, if not entirely, enough for him to return to some semblance of life. One day the counting of days might not be a matter of life and sanity. One day he might be able to see the full moon with human eyes._

 _One day..._

 _Finally he brought himself to ask "Do you mean that..." pausing again Oz gathered strength to crush the tiny seed of hope that sprung in his heart, "do you mean that I might not have to worry about the..."_

" _The full moon?" Smiling Angel spoke with much satisfaction in his voice. "That's exactly what I'm saying Oz. You tap into your inner force, you control the moon-and the demon does not define you."_

 _A small smile quickly grew into a large smile. Angel's grin mirrored his own. Resting his head between his hands Oz just could not believe this turn of events. All he had to do was tap into his inner power._

 _Tap into his inner power..._

" _Wait." Immediately he brought his head up. "How do I tap into myself? How am I going to learn how to control the wolf?"_

" _I can help. I can't show you as much as a werewolf could, obviously, but I do know enough to tell you what to expect and keep you from-"_

" _Falling on my ass?"_

 _Wryly Angel grinned and murmured "Yeah." Shifting more comfortably in his cramped chair he broke into his first lesson. "Which brings us to what happened on stage. What did you feel?"_

 _Thinking for a moment Oz slowly replied "I zoned out. One minute I was walking off stage and the next...it was like I didn't know where I was...I just felt lost."_

 _Nodding the vampire said "That's because Willow came into the room."_

" _So."_

" _So, huh?" Angel skeptically expressed. "You're attracted to her, correct?"_

" _Yeah, but I'm attracted to a lot of girls-"_

" _Maybe, but it's not the same with her. You think about her all the time, you want to be near her all the time. You see a pretty girl across the room you think 'She's hot' but then two minutes later you wouldn't recognize her on the street. But with Willow..."_

" _I can't stop thinking about her" he grudgingly admitted._

" _You want to mate with her Oz. That's why you can smell her hair, and that's why you can hear her heartbeat, and that's why you can smell her period."_

 _Oz stared at the handsome male across from him, suddenly feeling the urge to pummel his face. He felt as if Angel had somehow violated something between himself and Willow. His shoulders tensed as his hands became two clenched fists._

 _Correctly reading the situation Angel calmly explained "I'm a vampire, remember? Trust me-I'd rather not know when every woman within a 5 mile radius is on her monthly but it comes with the territory."_

 _Slowly Oz felt his body relax. It was Angel, not some scumbag pushing up on his woman..._

 _His woman?!_

 _Shaking his head Oz apologized with "Sorry man."_

" _It's okay. I understand."_

 _Looking past Oz's shoulder Angel suddenly stood up. Looking back Oz saw that Buffy was strolling through the crowd. "Besides Oz, even if I didn't know the other I'd still know that you needed Willow." Staring across the room Angel saw the moment Buffy saw him. Watching her face glow with happiness he softly said "I'd know because you look the way I feel when I'm with her."_

 _Patting the younger man's back he said "Come by my apartment tomorrow afternoon and I'll tell you all I know."_

" _I won't be waking you up?"_

 _Smiling Angel shook his head. "No, you won't be. Anyways, I only sleep when I'm bored."_

 _Standing up Oz held out his hand. The werewolf and vampire shook hands, the bond of friendship making a lie out of history. Turning away Angel began to walk across the room when Oz said "Angel!"_

 _Stopping he turned back "Yeah?"_

 _A moment passed before Oz answered "Hey, it doesn't define you either."_

 _A storm of grief violently clouded his eyes before he sadly replied "When you have the blood on your hands that I do-it does." Shaking off his inner torment Angel determinedly stated "But you won't ever know because I won't let it happen."_

 _And with that, Angel melted into the crowd, finding the one girl that let him see sunshine despite the darkest hour..._

The quiet ticking of a wall-clock thundered in the silence following Oz's story. Buffy blinked rapidly, the tears defeating her struggle as they slid down her smooth cheeks.

She could feel him, right at this moment, as she remembered that night.

She had just come in from training with Giles, wanting to catch a little bit of relaxation before beginning her nightly sweep of Sunnydale's cemeteries. She had seen Oz shake Angel's hand and had wondered what they had been talking about. When she had asked him, Angel merely smiled and replied "Bonding." Then he had placed his lips on hers...

Unconsciously she touched her mouth, feeling the illusive kiss of his ghost.

"Buffy."

"Buffy."

Whipping her head towards him Buffy forced the answer out of herself, while still touching her lips. "Huh?"

"Here." Looking at his hand Buffy saw that Oz held out a tissue. "Don't worry-it's clean. I just always keep a few in my pocket."

Shakily laughing Buffy took it and thanked him. Breathing deeply she tilted her head to look up at the ceiling. A flash of memory raced across her mind. A flash of intricate design and enormous wealth...

Angelus.

 _Beware the big bad wolf Buff..._

It wasn't over just yet.

Turning away from him Buffy nimbly hopped onto the library table, letting her legs dangle over the edge. Forcing her dark emotions away again she calmly asked "What happened the next day?"

Keeping his gaze steady with hers he answered "A lot. A bit of history, a bit of philosophy. A _lot_." Digging his hands in his pockets Oz rocked back on his heels. Things were going to be coming to a head now. "He showed me a lot Buffy, including how to recognize scents. Human and otherwise."

Buffy's stomach plummetted. She waited.

"I still don't have a strong grasp of how to do it. The only one I knew for sure was Willow's but that's because..." pausing he seemed a little embarrassed. "Well, I already told you. But I couldn't make any sense of anyone else's. It's like when you go to a department store and try on 50 different perfumes. Your nose can smell them, and your mind tells you that there's 50, but you can't _understand_ the difference anymore. It's there but you don't know how to separate them."

 _Alright Oz: how bad is it?_

"So Angel threw a shirt at me and told me to smell it. It was his." Wryly chuckling Oz commented "I got to learn his smell pretty well-he used it to quiz me on _everything_. Animal or Angel. Reptile or Angel. Lasagna or Angel."

Suddenly she understood. Now she understood. Maybe it was better this way, how long could she really keep the lie going? Smiling briefly Buffy asked "Why was it so important for you to learn his?"

"It wasn't really about it being his. What the lesson was is this: if I can understand what makes him Angel, then I can understand what makes him different from other vampires. Once I understood that then I'd know what makes them different from me, a werewolf."

"Did you learn?"

"Yes and no. Like I said before: I still don't have the hang of it." Coming towards Buffy he gravely said "But I do know his Buffy."

"What are trying say Oz?" _Alright here we go..._

"I don't know your scent Buffy, I don't Cordelia's, I don't anyone else's really, but there are only two scents in this world that I know as well as my own. When I touched your hand today at lunch-Angel's smell hit me."

"When you touched my hand?"

"Scent goes beyond the nose, it can be felt, heard, tasted. It just takes a connection of mind and body." Somberly he stated "When I touched your hand Buffy I sensed something that I hadn't sensed in weeks. Angel. There's only one way for that to happen: you had to be with him. Angelus, that is."

Buffy blinked slowly. "You think I've been with Angelus?"

A troubled look clouded his clear gaze. He looked down for a brief moment before resolutely looking back at her. "I'm only telling you what I know. I smell him all over you Buffy." Coming closer to her a faint note of pleading entered his low voice. "I want to be wrong Buffy, I really do. The thought of you being with that-that-ASS!-is enough to make me puke."

 _He doesn't know for sure, I can still hide it_ A kind smile curved her soft lips. "Oz: I haven't been with Angelus." _Liar!_ A feeling of self-disgust raked across her emotions before being ruthlessly squashed. "You smell Angel because I sleep with his coat every night."

"You what?"

"I sleep with his coat. It's like when Angel threw the shirt at you; you can smell him on me because I sleep with his scent every night."

In a rare moment, Oz's thoughts were transparent. Buffy easily read the shifting ideas on his face. "Why were you so weird with me then?"

"Because you were."

He pondered that a moment. His words came out slowly. "So you haven't been with Angelus?"

Somberly she lied with such simple eloquence. "No."

Nodding once Oz rubbed the back of his neck. Awkwardly he began to apologize. "Buffy...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

She broke in with "There's nothing for you to apologize for." Laying her hand on his arm she sincerely thanked him with "I'm glad that you came to me first."

"No, I should have known better. I-I..." Oz paused, obviously searching for his words. "I knew you couldn't be with Angelus-I just had to make sure."

Oz continued, his voice sounding more and more agitated with each sentence. "I thought maybe you had gotten into a fight with him, maybe...I DON'T KNOW!...but I KNEW you couldn't have done it. I'm sorry Buffy. I shouldn't have even THOUGHT it."

The guilt in his eyes gave her pause. In one day she had lied and betrayed more than she had ever in her entire lifetime. "Oz, look-let's just forget this, okay?"

Relief brightened his eyes before darkening again. "I can't-"

"Yes you can." Shrugging her shoulders Buffy breezily stated "I've already forgotten. If I have-you have to."

Laughing softly Oz said "Alright. It never happened."

Hopping off the table Buffy smiled and said "Never happened. Now you know if you smell Angel on me-well, you'll know why." _How easy the lies come out of your mouth_

"Yeah, I'll know why" he replied, relief heavily dosing each word.

"Hey guys-is it just me or are the teachers here REALLY sensitive?"

Xander's boisterous voice echoed throughout the library, returning the scene to a semblance of normalcy.

Oz replied with quiet wit, which in turn, brought out a Xander's rendition of his "sensitive Phys-Ed coach" saga. Buffy quietly watched her two friends, satisfied on a certain level with the way things turned out. It had come too close. How she would have been able to perpetuate the lie if Oz REALLY knew-she had no clue. She was just glad that she was able to turn Oz off the track.

God.

She was becoming as manipulative as Angelus. Twice she had made the people closest to her think the way SHE wanted them to think.

 _I bring out the best in you._

Silently she tried to convince herself that it was for the best. They couldn't know about her new circumstances. The best way to keep them all safe was if they knew nothing. Absolutely nothing. Better to lie and keep them alive than not.

It still rang hollow.

 _I bring out the best in you..._

How long before she grew as hollow as her lies? Before she had as much substance as the words that came so easily out of her mouth?

Before she too became something that did not exist?


	23. Chapter 23

Buffy tossed her gym bag on the bed before kicking off her tennis shoes. Pulling the scrunchie out of her hair, she allowed the sweaty locks to fall in a tangle around her shoulders, before bending over and pulling off her socks. Straightening up she shrugged off her damp t-shirt and rolled down the waistband of her exercise pants, quickly leaving both as a pile on the floor. Padding over to her dresser Buffy opened a drawer and pulled out a pair of cotton panties. Opening another drawer she pulled out a shirt and a pair of shorts before closing both with a resounding _thud_.

She made a short trip to the bathroom, placing her clothes on the counter, and then shed her sports bra and panties. Efficiently she turned the bath knobs on, waving her hand under the water until satisfied with the temperature. Her muscles barely felt a twinge of fatigue, not even the burn of exertion to stiffen her movements slightly. She had trained brutally for hours yet she easily climbed into the tub. Her Watcher had been pleased even as he was surprised. Though both were dripping with sweat at the end, it was he who had to limp away. Flipping up the shower switch Buffy shivered at the first blast of icy water, the shock of the frigid liquid tightening up her muscles before relaxing under the sudden warmth.

Quickly lathering her body Buffy reflected on her session with Giles. Training had been tough, her Watcher instantly correcting even the most minor of flaws, but surprisingly enjoyable. They had concentrated on the three A's: agility, accuracy, and adaptability. All in all it was good. In spite of the amount of exertion, she had silently rejoiced in the comforting routine. Training with Giles validated who she was. Training to battle those she could was one of the only things she had left to be proud of.

Instantly she pushed such melancholy thoughts away. During the past few days she began to realize that in order to keep any semblance of sanity she had to cleanly separate her life into two parts: her day life and the other. Anything else would rapidly ensure her destruction-if her present actions hadn't damned her to a thousand hells already...

Massaging her scalp with fragrant strawberry-scented shampoo, Buffy sighed with pleasure. Giles had been of better humor. Not that he was fountain of bubbly joy, but there had been more than a few smiles here and there.

Of course, it was always when he thought she wasn't looking.

Idly she wondered at his change of mood as she rinsed her hair. Not that her Watcher didn't deserve it-he'd been under such a tremendous amount of strain, especially since the Acrymydion prophesy. Perhaps he was really pleased with her performance or perhaps it was something else.

Or rather it was someone else.

Perhaps he and Ms. Calendar were mending things back together. In a way she hoped so. Giles needed to have a connection to the living, instead of the silent companionship of leather, parchment, and ink. Squeezing the excess water out of her locks, she worked conditioner back into it.

Waiting for the conditioner to set, she began to wash her face with a cleansing scoop of facial product. Although Buffy couldn't entirely forgive Ms. Calendar's part in Angel's loss of his soul, she realized that to continue to strike out at her in face of such obvious remorse would be cruel.

Cruelty should only come from those who worshipped none but themselves.

An image of Angelus' ruthless smile crept onto the edges of her mind, disrupting her hard-fought peace. Leaning her head against the ivory tiles Buffy closed her eyes against a rush of primal desire. Her body ached fiercely, the shivers of her flesh a mute testimony to the strength of her unnatural desires.

It had been four days since she last saw him.

Three days since she had last thought she would die of longing.

Two days since he last summoned her.

One day since she had ignored it.

Perhaps it was the height of foolishness but she wasn't ready to actively live both parts of her life. During the weekend she had been totally immersed in Angelus. Her friends and her Watcher played no part in it all. Her mother had only had a tiny portion via dinner and even that led to Angelus.

Absently Buffy reached out and turned the knob up, sighing as the water significantly heated. Pushing off the tiles Buffy stepped back into the pelting heat. Lifting her face up she thought about the eventually joining. Surprisingly Angelus had not appeared to her in any way other than the note in her room.

Well, there was also the message he left her mother on Monday.

 _Trudging home from school, Buffy felt saddened. After her conversation/confrontation with Oz Xander had come in and shortly after that, so did Willow and Cordelia. Separately of course, but virtually within seconds after Xander. Giles was still in his office, the door firmly closed._

 _The group all sat at the table, idly making small talk but not really saying anything of importance. During a lull Buffy boldly plunged in and asked "So, what did you guys do Friday night?"_

 _Pretending nonchalance she looked down at her nails while observing her friends from the fringe of her lashes. Willow started a little guiltily while Xander squeezed Cordelia's thigh. This caused an immediate yelp and an indignant "Why did you that? Really Xander!"_

 _Turning to his girlfriend Xander pointedly said, "Sorry Cordy, it must have been my elbow. See what happens when you're mean?"_

 _"No it wasn't-"_

 _Looking meaningfully into her eyes he carefully spoke "Yes it was. I'm SORRY Cordelia. I didn't MEAN to HURT you on PURPOSE." A moment passed and then another before it finally seemed to dawn on her. Cordelia then breathed "Oh right...it's OKAY Xander. I won't say a word, I mean! I won't say another word about it." Beaming she bestowed Buffy a wide smile, only the corners of her eyes betraying her lie._

 _That and the fact that they SUCKED at lying..._

 _...UNLIKE her..._

 _Internally Buffy shook her head. They could not be more obvious. If she didn't already know, she would now. Lifting her head she caught Xander's flippant smile and his "Now what was that again Buffy?"_

 _Casually she said "No, I was just asking what you guys did Friday. You know-just making conversation."_

 _"Umm...well Buffy...we just kinda hung out...at home." Willow stammering was really pronounced when she lied._ _ **Did she think I wouldn't know that?**_ _Buffy wondered indignantly. The moment evaporated as quickly as it came. Instead a feeling of resignation crept inside. For whatever reason they had left her out on purpose. Angelus was right._

 _Nodding her head Buffy slipped back into her façade. "Sounds fun." Turning towards Cordelia she couldn't stop the imp that forced her ask "You too Cordelia?"_

 _The brunette paused, clearly uncomfortable, before saying "I was with Xander."_

 _Xander loudly cleared his throat before sitting forward._

 _Tossing him an annoyed look over her shoulder she complained "What?! Well we WERE." Looking back at Buffy's angelic face Cordelia leaned closer and confided "I decided on Friday that I could tolerate Xander being around me and stuff."_

 _Casting a dark look at her Xander remarked "And I didn't have a say in it?"_

 _"Why would you? Besides, we both know it was up to me."_

 _Blandly Buffy asked, "So you two are going out now?"_

 _Arching a well-sculpted brow Cordelia replied "Duh! Haven't you been listening today?" Not giving Buffy a chance to say a word she asked, "I'm surprised you're just saying something. I mean, you didn't even really say anything about it during lunch, except something lame about Xander wuvving me."_

 _Dryly Buffy apologized "I'm sorry Cordelia. I just thought you'd want to be the one to tell me yourself."_

 _She just found about their smooching-fests in the stacks last week, or was it the week before? Anyways, just the shock of that made anything possible._

 _Silence fell upon the group, the tiny lies quietly gaining more and more strength, forcing a distance that had not existed before. A part of Buffy wanted to continue to probe them, much like a tongue probes a sore tooth despite the pain, but she abruptly ground such thoughts to a halt. The fact that they had obviously spoken together to keep it from her was enough. Even Oz's silence seemed to be more of a conscious decision versus his usual moments without words._

 _Did she hold any resentment towards them? Maybe just a tiny bit, but Buffy could not really blame them. With everything that had been going on lately-how could she? Besides, her lies were far more dangerous, entirely more destructive._

 _A liar she may now be, but she didn't have to enroll hypocrisy with the rest of her sins._

 _Giles shortly came out of his office then, looking out at the table, before making his way towards them. Scanning the group with his eyes he murmured a quick "Hullo" before abruptly dismissing all except Buffy._

 _This was met with a "Thank God!" by Cordelia, who immediately stood up and had her things gathered in a matter of .2 seconds._

 _Frowning slightly Willow queried "Are you sure Giles? I mean, there's still the Acrymydion prophecy. We haven't gotten very far with it, won't you need us?"_

 _"Thank you Willow, but, umm, I'm at a point in research which I'm afraid, umm, leaves me alone."_

 _"But you don't have to be alone!" she piped back. "I bet we can still help."_

 _"If you say yes-does that mean me too? Because you said I could go home and you can't take that back."_

 _Rolling his eyes Xander said "Cordy? Honey? Your sense of sharing humbles me, it really does."_

 _Before they could erupt into another skirmish Giles said "Thank you Willow, thank you Xander, Cordelia-no you do not have to stay," glancing at a slouched Oz he finished with "I presume thanks are in order for you as well Oz."_

 _Nodding sagely Oz merely said "Anytime."_

 _"Consider this a day off children."_

 _"Are you sure you don't mean me too?" Buffy asked hopefully._

 _Slanting her a look Giles murmured "No, not you too Buffy."_

 _Pouting slightly she griped "Don't I get a day off too?"_

 _"You've had two, which by the way, calls for extra training."_

 _Outwardly she groaned but silently she felt the opposite. Training was just what she needed; however she could never appear too eager about it. It was funny how easily she could slip into being the unserious Slayer, especially since her life had taken a serious turn into the unknown._

 _Rubbing the back of his neck Xander stood up and voiced his mind. "Never thought I'd fight this, but are you sure?"_

 _Confidently Giles assured them all with "Right now what Buffy needs is, umm, training without distractions. Tomorrow afternoon come back and I'll work you like dogs, if you'd like."_

 _Saying their goodbyes to Buffy and her Watcher the four filed out, leaving the library in silence. Rubbing his hands Giles turned to Buffy and inquired, "Shall we start?"_

 _Training had lasted for a couple of hours, her strength surprising them both. Buffy had not tired as easily, but her reflexes seemed a bit off. Giles took a particular worry towards this but Buffy quickly yawned, dramatically exclaiming "God! I'm tired. Maybe I need to get some more sleep" before turning a slight shade of pink._

 _She had not gotten much sleep in the last three days because she had been engaged in other activities._

 _Satisfied with her excuse Giles declared a step-up of the three A's. "Buffy you must be on your best performance regardless of external circumstance. We shall be excising your agility, accuracy, and adaptability all this week, and next if necessary."_

 _Shrugging she replied "Sure thing" and eased into her next stance._

 _Shortly afterwards Buffy left the library, bag in hang, and began her walk home. She believed that her body was beginning to adjust to the changes of the weekend. Her uncanny hearing still seemed to appear at random, and her movements faltered only slightly now. Her overall strength had increased with only isolated moments of phenomenal increases. One such moment caused her to kick the punching bag clear across the room. Faced with her Watcher's shocked continence she had blithely stated, "The chain must have been weak to give out like that."_

 _Everything seemed to be going back normal. Even her new beauty seemed to have been temporary. There was that moment during lunch, but nothing since. Everything was almost the same..._

 _...almost..._

 _Buffy only had to think about Angelus before feeling a tightening in her neck and a mournful cry in her blood. As long as she immediately thought of something else, she would be fine. However, he seemed to ruthlessly insinuate himself in every aspect of her life. The torture of believing him to be there at school this morning had almost been unbearable._

 _After what happened last night, how could she EVER want to see him? She should be sharpening a stake with his name on it! Blindly staring at the pavement before her Buffy felt so utterly confused. Nothing in life would have prepared her for this. She had been raped on a table by the creature wearing the face she loved. He had forced her to submit and she had._

 _Her submission continued throughout the night with his mocking soft laughter ringing in her ears..._

 _Now she felt a part of herself missing. Could she forget that easily or was she that weak?_

 _This frightening bond between them had to be the explanation behind her fierce yearning for Angelus. A tight, itchy sensation settled between her thighs while her heart began to cry. It was madness but Buffy wanted him. She wanted to touch him, smell him, sleep with him again. Her conscious became less involved the longer she was by herself._

 _By the time she reached home Buffy was fairly in an agitated condition. Her body raged, her blood boiled, and her insides felt bereft. He would see her tonight, he had to even if just to gloat over her dominion._

 _"Buffy!"_

 _Pausing mid-step Buffy saw her mother come out from her office. "Yes?"_

 _"Your tutor called-"_

 _"He did?" she asked, a slight tremor rolling in her voice. Where would he want her to meet him..._

 _Distractedly nodding her head Joyce scanned the file she was holding. A couple of moments went by before Buffy asked "Mom?"_

 _Looking up Joyce murmured "Hmm? Oh! He just wanted me to let you know that he has to cancel tonight's tutoring session."_

 _"Cancel?" she asked a bit weakly, her mind desperately trying to convince her instincts that this was a good thing._

 _Looking back down Joyce silently read her file only to quickly look up when Buffy asked with a slight shrill in her voice "Mom! Did he say WHY he had to cancel?"_

 _"No. I guess something came up." Walking closer to the stairs her gaze rove over her daughter, noting the pallid pallor. "Are you alright honey? You look so pale!" Cocking her head to the side she mused, "I thought you would have been happy to get this-I didn't know you enjoyed your sessions so much."_

 _Gathering control over herself Buffy forced a small smile and a shrug. "No, it's nothing big. It's just that I have a test this week and I thought he would be able to clear some stuff up for me."_

 _"Oh. Okay. Well, I could help if you wanted-"_

 _"No, it's okay Mom. I'm sure I'll figure it out."_

 _"Are you sure?" Joyce attempted once more._

 _Confidently Buffy assured her mother with "I'll be fine, really. I've got most of it down anyways." Turning away she made her way quickly up the stairs. Fleeing into her room she quietly closed the door, tossed her bag on the floor, and threw herself onto the bed. Clutching a pillow to her face Buffy let out heart-wrenching sobs, despising herself for hurting so badly..._

Turning off the water Buffy pushed back the curtain before stepping out of the shower. Feeling her toes sink into the soft bath mat she reached out for a freshly laundered towel. Bringing the towel to her nose she took a deep breath, enjoying the fragrant scent of fabric softener. Wrapping her body in the absorbent cotton she wrung out her hair before covering it with a smaller towel. Padding over to the sink she wiped the mirror until it was free of fog. Taking a look at herself Buffy wondered what would happen next.

She had not come to him.

 _Tuesday night. Buffy and her mother had eaten a light meal of salad and breadsticks, neither claming a very large appetite. While dinner had not necessarily been strained, mother and daughter definitely had their minds on other things. Talk had been minimal and the companionable silences long. After excusing herself Buffy announced she was going to bed to which Joyce had wished her a "Good night."_

 _Feeling strangely alert Buffy doubted she would even be able to doze during the hour and a half it would take for her mother to go to bed. A nervous energy had entered her earlier in the evening; she found herself fidgeting often and trying to concentrate on her history text was next to impossible. Considering that she generally got five hours of sleep or less Buffy always tried to take advantage of the time before her mother went to bed._ _ **I guess tonight I'll have to make do with what I get**_ _she casually thought as she made her way up the steps._

 _Coming into her room she immediately felt he had been there. His dark presence, his primal scent had been everywhere. The air pulsed with him; the dangerous sensuality that was Angelus touched every corner of her room. It was strong yet instinctually she knew that it been well over an hour since he had come. Looking at her dresser she immediately saw a large ivory colored envelope._

 _Reaching out with a slightly shaky hand Buffy lifted the envelope off the dresser. It was heavily textured and obviously of expensive quality. In bold, beautifully flowing script the front merely had_ _ **Slayer**_ _. Looking over her shoulder she saw the open door. Quickly striding across the room she closed it, not wanting her mother to catch her by surprise or even worse-seeing the envelope._

 _Opening the flap she slowly slid the folded letter out. Wariness battled with unwanted exhilaration she unfolded the thick paper._

 _ **I want you.  
Now.  
Angelus.**_

 _Quick and to the point. His letter left no doubt as to what he wanted. Easily sliding the beautiful paper back into its envelope, Buffy opened her closet and hid it with the rest of her_ _ **gift**_ _. Drawing a shuddering breath her fist clenched tightly, the nails digging into the skin as she tried to thick logically._

 _The beautiful demon wanted her to fill his bed tonight. If she went, the pleasures to be found at his hands would undoubtedly be devastating in its exquisiteness. The apex between her thighs began to throb, already anticipating the hard flesh of Angelus' body._

 _Turning away from the closet she performed the movements of her nightly routine: arranging her weapons, slipping on her patrol clothes, and finally covering it all with a two-piece flannel pajama set. Her mother would often remark on how much Buffy enjoyed them-even in the middle of summer._

 _Settling into bed Buffy waited, knowing what she was going to do even if she didn't really want to. Several times she contemplated what mood Angelus would be in (charming rake or sadistic rogue?) when all too quickly it was time for her to go. Sliding out of bed Buffy tensely waited, wanting to make sure that her mother was truly asleep. The soft sounds of Joyce's snores reached her ears, assuring her that her mother would indeed be out until morning._

 _Leaving via window Buffy made her patrol, dusting a few newly risen but no pros. Along the way she decapitated a Biztinak demon and impaled a Forinthic troll but it was still a relatively uneventful night. Before she knew it, she was standing across the street from HIS building. Craning her neck back she saw that the top floor was completely engulfed in darkness. Crossing her arms she shivered slightly, knowing that he was so close._

 _Buffy had decided that she would not come to him; she knew she was not ready to and yet here she was. Her blood shrieked with demented joy while her body hummed with a woman's secret knowledge that her mate would claim her for his own. Softly chewing her bottom lip Buffy gazed up at the large building, wondering if he even knew she was out there._

 _ **Of course he does. Even if he doesn't know that I'm here in this spot, he knows it's only a matter of time. He controls me so completely now, why would he ever think that I'd have a will of my own?**_

 _She couldn't see him right now. The consequences be damned, she just wasn't ready to. Maybe if he had seen her last night, she wouldn't have had time to think about any other place but his bed, but now she just couldn't._

 _Resolutely Buffy turned on her heel and quickly made her way home, fighting the pain of her blood. Her neck throbbed angrily and each step that took her away from him hurt badly. Climbing into her window she halfway expected for Angelus to pull her back out by her ankles._

 _Silently and efficiently she shed her dirtied clothes and stuffed them into the hamper before crawling into bed. Burrowed under the covers she drew her knees up to her chest and waited for sleep to come._

 _She also waited for the fury of a vampire thwarted..._

He had never come and Buffy still was not quite sure if she was relieved or disappointed. Shaking her thoughts away from the past few days Buffy quickly towel-dried her hair before twisting it into a high ponytail. Slipping on her underclothes she pulled out a bottle of lotion and thoroughly lathered her body. Pulling open a drawer she searched until she found a small jar of lip balm.

Coating her lips with the soothing crème Buffy felt a sudden tiredness. Yawning widely she glanced at the small digital clock on the counter and saw that she still had a couple of hours before dinner.

Leaving her clothes on the counter Buffy slid under the covers of her bed and closed her eyes. Within moments she slept the sleep of the dead.

She dreamed colorless dreams, the substance of her netherworld constantly shifting like gossamer smoke. She could have been asleep for hours or perhaps minutes, when the call for sleep became a mere whisper and the land of wakefulness beckoned strongly. Buffy lifted her arms in a stretch, enjoying the vitality her nap had given her when she opened her eyes and looked right into the ebony gaze of Angelus.

Shock caused a tiny gasp to escape her lips and her arms to immediately fall to her side. Angelus was here in her home. Her mother was downstairs. She was nearly naked. Angelus was HERE in her home.

"Happy to see me Buff? Did you miss me much?"

Inanely Buffy murmured "I-I was sleeping..."

"I know." An enraged light flared in his eyes as he softly said, "Did I ever tell you how cute you look when you sleep...bitch?"

Flinching Buffy began to recognize that Angelus was most dangerous when he spoke in a careful tone. There was no doubt that he was infuriated with her. It crossed her mind to say, "Don't call me a bitch" but wisely she kept quiet.

For now.

He was squatted down next to her bed, his chin resting comfortably on his crossed arms. In a glance Buffy realized with some surprise that he was dressed quite differently that his normal garb. No silk, no velvet, not even leather. He wore a thick iron-gray sweater, the neck of it much like a turtleneck. The sweater made him appear almost normal, he definitely did not have the look of a homicidal vampire.

"Why are you dressed like that?" she asked, her curiosity forcing its way out of her mouth.

"Disappointed darling?" he drawled.

Slowly she shook her head, her eyes riveted upon his face. Angelus looked devastatingly handsome. Each time she saw him it was as if she saw him for the first time. God! Immediately a rush of sinful desire twisted her insides. Would she ever be able to feel any differently?

"What are you doing here?"

His dark eyes merely continued to watch her. Uncomfortable beneath his non-blinking stare she lifted her chin and mutinously stated "I don't want you here."

The silver of Angel's ring flashed brightly as he moved a hand to grip her chin, forcing her to look at him. "Did you get my letter?" he casually asked.

Pulling her head back she attempted to move her chin when he brutally tightened the pressure. Meeting him squarely in the eye she said, "I did."

"You did?" Quiet for a moment he appeared to ponder her words. After another tension-filled moment he murmured "Mmm, so you DID get it." Cocking his head to the side he asked in a voice full of honeyed consideration, "Did you read it darling?"

"You know I did." A small bead of sweat formed between her breasts, starting a slow trickle down. He was toying with her again and again he had the advantage.

Condescendingly he replied, "No, I didn't. You see if KNEW you read it then I wouldn't be asking, now would I?"

Putting her hand on his she pried his fingers off her chin before moving back. Making sure that she was still covered by the blanket she sat with her back against the wall, an appropriate response since that was exactly how she felt.

"Geez Buff-why are you sitting so far away?" he innocently asked, his chin again propped on his crossed arms. Angelus' sweater looked so soft, Buffy idly wondered how it would feel to the touch.

In order to cover her nervousness she abruptly asked, "How did you get in?"

An evil smile crept across his face. "Why I walked through the door Miss Summers! How else would your history tutor come in?"

Glancing towards her closed bedroom door Buffy looked back towards Angelus. "My mom let you in?"

"No. I just kicked the door in, tore out your sweet mother's throat, before walking in here." Laughing nastily at the sudden paleness of Buffy's face he complained "Can't you take a joke Slayer?"

Dryly she replied in a bored tone "Ha. Ha. Funny or actually not."

Standing up he leisurely stretched. Buffy noted that he wasn't wearing a pair of jeans like she expected, but was instead wearing a pair of crisply ironed black slacks. Her gaze immediately met his when he stated "You should learn to take one Buff, since I take yours." Striding towards the door he quickly exited the room before coming back. Buffy could hear the hum of the ventilator in the hallway bathroom. Closing the door with a tiny click Angelus locked it before stalking towards the bed and her.

Leaning across the narrow bed he laid one hand on either side of her head, neatly trapping her within the walls of his arms. Staring into her wide eyes he softly snarled "You better be glad I'm a demon of humor Buff, because if for ONE moment I thought that you had deliberately ignored me-oh baby, I'd hate to be you."

"I couldn't come that night-" before she could finish her lie Buffy felt the sharp sting of a slap.

Dragging her out of the bed Angelus shook her once before ordering between gritted teeth "I thought we covered this on Sunday-don't you EVER fucking lie to me!"

Flinging her hair back out of her face Buffy recklessly said, "Fine. I didn't WANT to come to you-is that better? Is it better for you to hear that I didn't feel like dropping everything just because you wanted me to?"

Her face burned with the heat of his slap, pulsing in time with the rapid beat of her heart. Buffy could not explain it to herself but she had no control over her words. They seemed extremely silly in light of the fact that he could and would make her drop everything-generally it was only a matter of time.

Time...that's all.

Yet she knew that she needed to fight, in some way, no matter how furious it made him, or how useless in the end it was. She spent her time yearning for him, desiring him, but when he was in front of her all she did was bait him. Tonight was no different, or maybe it was-after all, she had had several days to build up her resistance.

Angelus was of the same mind.

Immediately Buffy brought her hand up and slapped Angelus' face. "Don't ever think you can hit me," she hissed.

In the master vampire's eyes, Buffy just threw down the gauntlet-one he could not ignore. The pleasure of rising up in the face of her defiance and breaking another piece of her would be too great.

Crushing her arm with his large hand he mused softly "Seems like my pet has grown claws. I leave you for a few days and now you think you can do as you please." His mirthless laughter elicited a shiver from Buffy. Releasing her arm he gently stroked her reddened cheek, growling softly when she flinched away. "Well, I won't make that mistake again. It's time to bring my bitch to heel."

"I'm not your bitch." Walking away from him she displayed a courage she did not feel. Bluffing seemed to be her forte lately, why should it be any different now? Besides, her mother was downstairs; Angelus wouldn't do anything to expose himself yet. "Get out of my room Angelus. I need to get dressed and you need to leave-"

The soft whisper of his steps reached her, stilling her in mid-step. She felt the solid strength of his body behind hers and his arms wrapped around her waist. Rigidly she stood there, wanting so badly to lean against the sweater that was as incredibly soft as it looked yet knowing him well enough to know the fury was coming most strongly in the form of gentleness.

She was right.

Leaning down Angelus mournfully whispered in Buffy's ear, "Oh baby, like I said-I'd hate to be you."

Before she could give thought much less words to his sorrowfully stated threat, Buffy felt herself flung against the floor. Angelus' body immediately covered hers, his thighs spreading her legs widely apart. Covering her mouth with his he boldly plundered, his tongue withdrawing and stabbing at will. Pinning her wrists down with one hand, he used the other to arrogantly travel along the length of her body.

Squirming under him Buffy felt equal parts terror and desire. The mark he placed on her throat throbbed unmercifully. She felt robbed of all breath, his tongue making its home within her and his fingers making play with her breasts. He pulled his mouth away only to heatedly lick and bite her throat. Buffy wildly arched her back as breathy little pants escaped from her mouth.

"Get off of me" she ordered in a strangled voice. She could barely make any sense of her own thoughts, the pleasure she felt was that great, but she knew that Angelus was only going to manipulate her. Physical ecstasy now-emotional agony later.

Playfully biting her jugular he wickedly smiled at the tiny start and her jagged moan. "C'mon Buff, don't say things you don't mean."

Taking several shaky breaths Buffy closed her eyes before saying "I do mean it. My mom is downstairs-"

"I know. That's what makes this so goddamn delicious." Leaning over her he waited until she opened her eyes. "To think I'm going to fuck Joyce's sweet little girl right above her head while she's draining angel-hair pasta in the kitchen-it just gets me harder."

A hard glint entered Buffy's lust glazed eyes. "You're disgusting."

Smiling the smile that never reached his eyes Angelus whispered "And you're even more so for letting me do it." Leaning back down he lazily licked her lower lip and became thrilled by the trembling beneath his tongue. No protestations passed her sweet lips, only the silent acceptance of his tongue.

Little whore.

He knew that she wouldn't come that night.

 _Anger had been his companion for hours after she left. By now she should be in school, if she didn't stay home out of self-pity. A hard smile twisted his lips as he imagined Buffy trying to sort out her feelings for her worthless friends._

 _Was he lying or were they?_

 _Both?_

 _Neither?_

 _Idiot._

 _Didn't she realize that as long as she kept those people around her, they would always be her weakness? The Slayer was meant to walk alone, yet here she was actually trying to pretend that she was like all the other fools that breeded on the planet. Did she think that as long as she went to school and the mall that it would in the end make a difference?_

 _If so, what the hell difference would it make anyways? She was and always would be a Slayer; the only creatures that would ever understand her difference were creatures like himself. Vampire that he was, he'd always despise the very breath she took, but hell-at least he understood what she was and made no illusions about it._

 _Humans on the other hand..._

 _No matter how good their nauseating intentions might be, they were different from her and always would be. That fact alone would eventually drive a wedge between them-if it already hadn't. Did Buffy think that the other Slayers before her stood alone by choice? Humans would never truly understand her. If she was foolish enough to carry those liabilities along in her life, then he was willing enough to take advantage._

 _So what would she do-confront or not?_

 _Being the confident creature that he was, Angelus knew that Buffy would not directly confront anyone, and if confronted herself she would lie. Lifting a glass of whiskey to his mouth Angelus took a healthy drink while letting his claw rip a line through the ridiculously expensive wallpaper that lined the hallway wall. She was going to try to keep her life separated, and if necessary, she would go to the grave with this secret._

 _If necessary? She WOULD be going to her grave. How could that ever be a question?_

 _Casually strolling across the dulled marble floor Angelus made a mental note to have it cleaned. After his busy night he should be tired or at the very least bored, but sleep was not calling him this morning. The large cavern that he called home was oppressively quiet._

 _It only fed into his building anger._

 _Stopping in the middle of the room Angelus gave a great growl of displeasure. What was the problem? He, Angelus, had brought the Slayer down on her knees! Despite the agony in her little human heart he had made her admit that HE controlled her world, that HE dominated._

 _He had won but it wasn't enough!_

 _Taking a large gulp of Irish whiskey Angelus' throat barely constricted. The usual burn made not the slightest effect on him; he was that angry. Shirtless he soundlessly strode towards the curtained windows, the casual black linen pants he wore hanging low on his hips. Reaching out with one finger he pushed the heavy material aside, disinterestedly looking at the tiny figures scurrying below. Would he call for her tonight?_

 _Letting a disgusted grunt Angelus turned away from the window. She had just left and it wasn't like she even fucked him. Well, there WAS the whole rape-thing, but still...besides he had spent hours pleasuring her without demanding anything in return. AND she could be a bore with her burdensome guilt and her constant back talk._

 _Leaning his hip against the piano Angelus silently revised his last thoughts. If her guilt weren't such an issue where would be the pain? While annoying, her back talk did liven things a bit. She wasn't the problem, after all, she was just a piece. He was just pissed; he just needed an outlet for his anger that's all._

 _Preferably something warm and alive..._

 _Pushing away from the piano Angelus felt edgy. Prowling in the cavernous living area he felt her imprint everywhere. On the couch, the stairs, the table..._

 _...especially the table..._

 _Several seconds went by as he murderously stared at the impressively carved table. Moments passed as he focused his gaze on one section of it, on one portion at the end of it. Time passed until it was minutes that marked the period as he fixedly stared at the well-worn, rich, dark wood._

 _Muttering a violent oath Angelus flung the heavy crystal glass he held in his hand at the wall. Raking a hand in his hair he meanly stared at the imposing yet empty table. Pictures of a deliciously naked Slayer burned into his mind. Her fear, her exquisite agony-just the memories were enough to make him hungry again. It had been such a satisfying meal for his ego that he could have purred aloud._

 _If by chance that Angelus would have purred, it would have stopped midway._

 _The memories broadened, allowing the lascivious and vacant stares to feast over her flesh. Angelus saw them all clearly; he saw each hard-on, each wet cunt._

 _Clenching his jaw tightly he continued to stare at the table. He had his reasons, reasons that went far beyond what Buffy understood. The waiter was just a little device that happened to work in his favor, but he was far from being the motivation behind their show._

 _He did not regret what he did so why was he SO PISSED?_

 _Striding over to the physical alter of Buffy's despoilment Angelus lightly touched the surface of where she had been laid. Blackly staring down at the well-worn wood he remembered the feeling of her little pussy squeezing in an effort to get him out. He remembered the challenge of getting her slack limbs to respond to him despite the humiliation and utter betrayal._

 _If only it was left at that..._

 _Taking his hand away Angelus left and strode over to his couch-the same couch he fucked Buffy on while she was on her hands and knees. Leaning his head back he seemingly studied the painted mural on his ceiling, intently scanning each delicate line, each bold stroke of color. He was not studying it at all-instead he was studying himself._

Delving deeply in her mouth Angelus devoured Buffy's pretty moans while playing with her breasts. Pulling her mouth away she arched even more into his body before greedily taking his mouth again, her tongue boldly plunging into the cool depths. When she shuddered beneath him, Angelus knew it was from pure ecstasy.

Male triumph burned brightly in his eyes.

Their kisses grew less frantic as his became more calculated. Buffy's nipples tightened painfully under the slight pressure of Angelus' long fingers. Raising himself up he stared down into her face, noting the luster of her eyes and the stain of blush forming across her chest.

Buffy's lids drifted open as her mouth felt bereft. Her body was no longer her own and her blood did not pump to keep her alive; it existed only to please him. How she hated that! "What-" coughing she tried to get air into her lungs in an effort to dispel her lightheadedness. She couldn't think when he made her feel like this. "What will my mom think if you don't come down soon?"

"I don't care what she thinks."

"Yes you do."

A nasty smirk twisted his mouth as he stated, "You overestimate how much I give a shit Slayer."

Softly she charged, "You do give a shit Angelus. Playing my tutor makes it just another game to you, you don't want to blow it." Pausing she allowed her words to sink in before asking, "So again, what will she think if you don't come down soon?"

An assessing expression crossed his face before sliding away behind the pleasant and eternal handsome façade. "Perceptive, aren't you? And here I thought the dumb blonde act wasn't one." Deliberately he pinched one nipple cruelly, watching in satisfaction when Buffy's brow wrinkled and a small cry passed through her trembling lips. "Are you scared of getting caught Buff?"

Arching away from him Buffy stiffly said, "I'm not scared."

"Not even a little?"

They both knew that it wasn't just about Joyce any longer. Squarely meeting his eyes Buffy evenly stated, "No. This is my house Angelus, mine. Last time I didn't have home court advantage. This time I do."

"So why are you beneath me?" he taunted while pinching the same nipple again with such calculated force.

Gasping Buffy spoke for her hidden desire without thought "Because I like it." As soon as the words were out she groaned from the humiliation. Tears pricked her eyes because they were true. She'd give her life to protect the world, that much would never change, but she'd selfishly sacrifice the same life for this addictively emotional situation.

Angelus' eyes darkened with violent lust. He had not even counted on her admitting this. Not interested in any more words his already hard cock stiffened even further. Swooping down his mouth covered her abused nipple, quickly wetting the cotton of her bra and soothing the pain with pleasure.

She liked it. Angelus could feel the siren call of addiction beckoning him with such sweet lyrics. He would make her sing again and again before the night was over. Feeling her relax he quickly pinched the other nipple and smiled when her body became rigid again. Kissing her small breast with his mouth, Angelus created a rhythm of intense pain and extreme pleasure until he was sure that the girl beneath no longer knew the difference between the two.

 _Angelus loved control. A creature that supposedly did not know how to feel human emotions could feel the love of control. Everything in his universe had to be directed by his hand. Beyond being a man that needed such power, he was a killer by nature. Regardless of wearing a human body or carrying a demon's face, Angelus walked the narrow path between the instinctual animal and civilized beast. There was no room for self-doubt._

 _Self-doubt equaled weakness._

 _Weakness equaled loss of power._

 _Loss of power equaled the end of his existence._

 _Now more the ever, the Slayer could lead to all three._

 _Now where the hell did that come from? Angelus felt an agitation settle itself within his body. He felt still restless, edgy, and most of all-PISSED! Against his will his eyes were drawn to the table across the room again._

 _He fucked Buffy on the table, so what?_

 _Even if he didn't have his reasons, just the pure motivation that he could do it would have driven him._

 _Self-doubt ate away at him, it rankled, it stung, it dully sawed away at his_ _ **reasons**_ _. He was a possessive man by nature and had never liked to share by sight or sound, but he would do as he saw fit. If the situation called for every acquaintance to fuck his mistress raw-so be it._

 _As a matter of fact, it had happened a time or two._

 _Angelus' smooth brow wrinkled as he rethought it. Although it had happened, it always happened once he was through with the particular offending female. It NEVER happened while he was still exploring the charms of his newest lady._

 _Until now._

 _GODDAMN IT!_

 _Angelus slowly burned with fury as he recalled the myriad creatures feasting upon the delicate limbs of Buffy. At the time he had enjoyed her lesson in humiliation thoroughly. It had been a rush of nostalgia for a time long gone. It was as if he were an older, wiser man reliving his reckless youth but in moderation. A century ago he would have done far more to the sweet young Slayer. Beyond taking her on the table, he probably would have fucked in the ass for good measure, and then taken her into his room and fucked her in all three holes._

 _Regardless of his tamed inclinations, Buffy Summers never had a chance last night. He had known she would push him too far. In fact he had goaded her to it from the moment she had stepped into the room. He had easily felt the insecurity and plain gaucheness that had radiated in her every step. Knowing she would see him with Lina had only been the cherry on top._

 _The fact that Lina had not wanted to play part of his game hadn't bothered him in the least-she had no choice against his will. It had been going so beautifully, every thread woven in place to form a tapestry of his own world. Buffy had reacted just as he had expected until the final moments before the table._

 _Rage swirled blackly around him as the unwanted truth began to form in his mind. Angelus felt the jealousy burn deeply in his gut. His cool logic crumbled away beneath his hot passions. He did not like sharing the sight of HIS woman's body with the rest of the world. It did not matter that he planned on killing Buffy or the fact that he hated the very sight of her many times, she still belonged to him._

 _Angelus had never been good at sharing, not as a human, and certainly not as a vampire._

"Mine" he growled against her breast.

Thrashing beneath him Buffy murmured nonsensical words. Her body was tautly stretched unto the breaking point. She did like it. She more than liked it, she was obsessed with feeling this way. He hurt her badly, he inflicted such cruelties upon her, yet she was desperate to be with him. He had raped her in front of countless strangers! Why did she feel this way? What was wrong with her?

This bond was more shameful than the physical one between them.

"MINE" he demanded angrily before sucking her nipple into his mouth.

Feverishly she murmured "I hate you...hate you so much...I don't WANT to want you..."

An evil smile slowly crossed Angelus' face right before he morphed. His fangs easily slid into the soft skin just as his large hand covered her trembling mouth. Buffy let out a long muffled scream just as her body convulsed in orgasm. She undulated beneath him, her heart and body riotous in fulfillment, while her lower body pulsed in time to the beat of her blood.

Greedily drinking the rich, sweet outpouring of his lover Angelus released her mouth just to cover it with his own. Saliva and crimson liquid mated as Buffy gripped his shoulders tightly. While crushed against his broad chest she felt the tingling of power course through her veins...

"Mine" he ruthlessly growled.

"Yours" she brokenly murmured before hoarsely saying, "You're mine too..."

For the second time that night Angelus was shocked into silence.

 _It could be argued that he shared Druscilla now yet he never saw it that way._

 _She had strongly captivated his fickle attentions, true. It was also true that her madness had provided a new spin on eternal life, making it so easy to satisfy his sadistic desires with such a willing consort._

 _But eventually the fascination that forced him to take her had faded._

 _While sexually she had excited him longer than most, it too had faded. After tiring of Druscilla he had magnanimously freed her to find her own mate. Once done, what did he care who she slept with?_

 _The point was this: not a single creature even dared brush against her skirts while she had belonged to him._

 _The fact that he still slept with her after regaining control was only to infuriate Spike. Yet, if honesty were required of him, he could never say that he didn't enjoy her delightful skills-after all, he himself had taught her. But if truth were to be demanded of him again, if Spike weren't around, he would not fuck her._

 _Spike. That was yet another problem of his._

 _Shifting on the couch Angelus clenched his jaw tightly. The peroxide cripple was an irksome hangnail, an irritating speck in his eye-an insurrecting pain in his ass. It was obviously clear who had ordered those four vampires to attack Buffy the other night. Once confronted, Spike had smoothly and insolently puked out denials of any such orders._

 _Angelus had not been convinced and Spike knew it._

 _Spike also knew that he never, ever issued out idle threats just to hear his own Americanized voice so what was he about? Angelus could very well rip out every bone of his body with none to stop him, least of all Spike himself, so again, what was he about?_

 _Insurrection._

 _Angelus did not underestimate the younger male's intelligence nor did he underestimate his hunger for power. Spike was sending out conflicting orders, blatantly trying to undermine his position in the clan._

 _He would fail._

 _It would have been a simple matter to crucify the cocksucker out in the garden and let him burn. As efficient as that would have been, allowing Spike to play underground rebel would serve Angelus a greater purpose. It would eventually flush out all those in league with him._

 _Then it would be time to play. Druscilla was always complaining that he never took an interest in her precious garden, how would she like it if he planted a whole field of crucified vampires alongside her dead roses?_

 _So for now, Angelus let him escape death._

 _Merely death._

 _Punishment, however, had been an entirely different story._

 _Angelus had taken Spike's denials with grace and then pleasantly asked for Druscilla to come to him. She had been in a subdued mood, humming softly by the blackened fireplace. Normally she would have flung herself at him, inanely chattering about Mrs. Edith, yet the one glance she had spared him had been vacant. Woodenly she had walked towards him, her eyes trained on the ribbons of her black slippers._

 _One fleeting look at the traitor's suddenly paler face had thrilled him with malicious delight. Angelus had softly asked the brunette vampiress to shed her emerald velvet dress. Without hesitation Druscilla had obeyed him, even though she wouldn't look at him. Angelus had taken this as a sign of Spike's guilt._

 _As for Druscilla, she had been naughty and naughty girls had to be punished._

 _For several moments he had allowed his gaze to travel along the lines of her slender body, resting heavily on the thick, dark bush at the apex of her thighs._

 _Slanting a glance over her shoulder Angelus had noticed the reaction of the other vampire. Spike had obviously steeled himself to witness her willing copulation with himself, yet he had steeled himself for the wrong thing._

 _Angelus never touched her, five lowly minions had instead. The sickness on Spike's face had been pleasurable indeed._

Angelus did not like her declaration. It made him feel possessed, something he had never felt before. Could she really have meant that? Did that mean that she felt she owned him? Frowning he pushed it all away. She could feel whatever the hell she wanted, that in itself would not make it true.

He was not Angel. She did not control him.

Fisting his hands into her hair Angelus held her head still while he hungrily tasted all that she had to give.

Panting brokenly between voracious kisses and gulps of air Buffy pulled her head back and stared at the ceiling while Angelus ran his lips up and down the column of her neck. So intently she peered up at it that it appeared as if she were expecting to see all the answers of her world. The only answer she wanted was what was happening.

"How can this be?" she softly asked.

"What?" he impatiently snarled.

"This thing...this feeling." Moving her head she studied his dark hair, her fingers suddenly finding themselves stroking the nape of his neck. "We're bonded somehow."

"So" he rudely stated, stilling his mouth as he felt her fingers touch his neck.

Removing her fingers she mutinously stated, "I don't want to be bonded to you."

"Ditto." Her anger was something he liked much better than her tenderness. Things lacked clarity when their roles lost meaning.

 _Yet the problem at hand now was Buffy. He did not like this feeling of uncertainty. Most of all, he despised the sickness growing in his brain. Jealousy stained his every thought. Shifting his body Angelus moved so that he was facing the wall above his fireplace. His eyes roved over all the paintings, the bestial jealousy finding no succor in the art. They only made him remember that HE had been the one to expose her to the masses._

 _With a low growl he flung himself off his couch and stalked towards his bedroom, refusing to wallow in this uncertainty any longer._

 _He would have to kill them. All those that had watched his stirring performance with unabashed lust would have to die._

 _Pushing open the heavy doors with one fist Angelus refused to look at his mammoth bed. Instead he took immense joy at imagining the slow and bloody deaths taking place in his mind. Even if he had to be up to his neck in gore, he would willingly do it._

 _Flopping himself into one of the high-backed chairs Angelus stroked his chin, a chilling light taking possession of his dark gaze. Each one would have their eyes taken out, one at a time, before being forced to eat them. And that would only be the beginning. Evilly smiling Angelus felt a moment of restored humor before sanity returned._

 _What madness was he contemplating?_

 _Many powerful factions had been present that night and no matter how powerful he himself was, one vampire was not enough when compared to twenty species united against himself. And that was exactly what would happen if he even attempted to eradicate all the witnesses to his own debauchery. His business dealings could not suffer because of this._

 _He could not allow that to happen._

 _Fighting for control of his own devil's temper Angelus focused on the bed. Buffy was the Slayer. The Slayer was simply his newest whore. He had displayed her to cement his own power in the minds of any who doubted. All knew who she was and now they knew where he stood. He had quickly reestablished his place among the other world nobility with a few quick strokes. Angelus would put the rest out of his mind. From now on he would simply keep the Slayer to himself until the night he snapped her neck._

 _To hell with the rest of it._

 _The knot in Angelus' stomach did not lessen and the pent-up fury could not escape. No woman was worth this much aggravation, especially not a Slayer._

 _Self-doubt led to weakness._

 _Weakness led to loss of power._

 _Loss of power led to the end of his existence._

 _After one phone-call that night had led him to the Cavern where he promptly fed and fucked three brunette college co-eds. With quick hard thrusts he had found a tawdry short-lived pleasure. One was no different than the other, just the way he liked it, but then they were too different from what he wanted. Dismissing each one with his vampire mind-control thing, he had prowled the club waiting for something._

 _At the time he didn't realize exactly what he was looking for, only that he knew an intense dissatisfaction that would not go away. At one point he felt a sensation in the back of his neck, which had caused him to look across the room. Abruptly he dismissed the girl, vaguely angered again. Dispassionately he acknowledged that the dark-haired girl was incredibly lovely but not for him tonight._

 _After several drinks Angelus had realized that what he needed was a blonde. Once making his decision he searched until he found a petite girl with large blue eyes. While they weren't hazel, they were still enchanting nonetheless..._

 _After dancing a dance or two he had taken her into the darkened back hallways where he had taken the other ones. She had been lustfully gazing into his face, her small hands grasping him at will. Reaching down he had slowly pulled her shirt up when all of a sudden he stopped cold._

 _He couldn't bring himself to have the appetite for her._

 _That caused him to abruptly leave the club and Sunnydale. Driving for hours he made his way down to L.A. and quickly found several victims to satisfy his hunger._

 _Each one had been a blond._

 _The satisfaction of having hot human blood fill his mouth had been indescribable. He felt as if he were excising Buffy from his being with each body that hit the ground. The fact that all three would eventually join the ranks of the undead only fed the satisfaction until he looked at each face._

 _No matter the hair color and no matter the similarities, they were not her._

 _GODDAMN FUCKING BITCH!_

 _It had taken the rest of that night and the next day for Angelus to feel enough control of himself to leave. It had taken him that long to convince himself that the madness had never permeated his every thought and that he had never lost control. In his mind he had taken a much-needed trip to L.A. in order to satisfy his primal instincts. His personal no-kill policy in Sunnydale had been too much of a bore and now he was ready to go back._

 _The fact that he had been able to call the Summers' residence during the height of his discomfort yet still feel full control of his passions proved it. The fact that he had known it would prick Buffy into uncontrollable sadness merely validated his actions. If he had been lucent enough to play with the Slayer's mind, he was well enough to go back to Sunnydale._

 _Sending Buffy her summons had been a study in observation. Angelus had bet that she wouldn't show and he was right. He had sensed her outside and without looking away from the sheet music he knew she was staring up at the building. In only a few moments she was gone. Bending over the piano keys he had let his fingers fly in a frenzy, the music dark and triumphant. The pleasure she could have given him that night would be fleeting. What Angelus wanted now from her was her virginal pain._

 _He wanted to introduce her to a new level of sensation._

 _Quite simply he wanted to debauch her._

 _The only way to do that was if she was building her walls again. Let her think she could defy him, it would only prove to them both that he held the control, not she. If Angelus were a praying man he would get down on his knees and beg for her defiance. Buffy's pointless protests would serve the ultimate purpose-they would make the punishment all the more sweeter..._

The raging lust between them suddenly became extinguished. Her mutinous declaration paved the way for one of the subjects that had been left unspoken. "We haven't talked about what happened Saturday morning", Buffy abruptly stated.

"Nothing to talk about", Angelus merely grunted, his mouth leaning forward to recapture Buffy's lips.

"Has it ever happened before?" she asked while artfully avoiding his forceful caress.

"What?" he impatiently snarled at being denied.

"This bonding, or whatever it is-has it happened before?"

"Don't have a clue Buff, nor do I care enough to get one" he replied, heavy boredom obvious in his tone.

"How can you not care?" Seeing he was going to say something snide Buffy clarified, "Aren't you the least bit curious?"

"That the Slayer wants my cock all the time? Where's the curiosity in that?"

Rolling her eyes Buffy frowned at him, impatience clearly moving the lines of her face. "God! Could you be any more full of yourself?" Not waiting for an answer she wiggled from underneath him until she was able to rest on one of her elbows.

Silently they stared at each other in the darkness, the lack of light not dimming either one's vision. Angelus' possession of the demon did nothing to deny the very real fear that all men, regardless of species, felt: she wanted to talk.

What the FUCK for?

Disgruntled he was tempted to leave and go back downstairs. Joyce thought him still suffering the effects of a stomach virus, therefore she discreetly directed him to the upstairs bathroom. Crude method, true, but it gave him the opportunity to disguise his pallid color with the excuse of illness and most importantly: it gave him the wicked opportunity to catch Buffy off guard.

Now she wanted to talk.

Studing her young, softly rounded face Angelus came to the conclusion that he absolutely hated this aspect of the Slayer. Just when he thought he knew exactly where she was emotionally, she'd completely catch him off guard. Who did she think he was-her therapist? She had no reason to ever think she could confide her thoughts and feelings to him.

Buffy appeared to be mulling over her own mental reasonings, a small frown knitting itself between her slender brows. She inhaled and exhaled once, twice, before finally opening her mouth. Returning back to her original train of thought she said, "It doesn't seem physically possible for me to have Vampire and Slayer blood without one losing."

Staring down into her face Angelus felt the stirrings of strong dislike. Buffy actually sounded...normal? Was that the word? She also sounded very accepting of the blood fact. He did not want her accepting so quickly. She should be filled with unbearable shame, disbelief, agony! Had he done his work too well?

Where was the usual hostility? Where was the delicious struggle between her fear and her pride?

There she lay, calmly discussing the event that had binded her to him.

Where was the mutiny?

His gaze snaked down to her hand. She was absently stroking his forearm, the touch quite pleasant and soothing. Angelus realized in disdain that his shoulders had begun to relax under her gentle touch. Only his shoulders though. The rest of him stiffened, wanting to take pleasure in her soft human body.

Angelus had vulgar images of Buffy open and wanting. He saw her on her back, legs spread widely while her hands were spreading herself even wider. He saw her offering her breasts to his mouth while her lower body undulated tirelessly upon him.

He saw her shamelessly begging him to take her in any hole that pleased him.

Such thoughts of his human lover pleased Angelus greatly.

Buffy's hand stopped its movements. Cautiously looking up at him she clearly saw the naked lust twist his features into a mask of passion. Her small mouth opened, a near breathless pant reaching his ears. The mortal coils of her blood quickened, the sweet ambrosia beginning to beat in a seductive call that only his ruthless kiss could answer.

A smirk lifted his lips and a devil's gleam brightened his eyes. Proof positive-as if he needed it. Buffy could not only feel his own arousal, she was helpless against responding to it. This young girl was far more his than she ever could be for Angel.

Their bond was permanent, this Angelus knew by instinct. He never could understand why he had been able to feel her weeks before their physical joining and why she had felt nothing. Only after the mysteries of Buffy's encounter with silent Death did he begin to understand.

Blood.

The answer to all his questions came back to one thing-blood. His kind's survival depended on it; there could be no surprise that other attachments beyond the hunger could be made with that natural yet mysterious elixir.

Sifting through despised memory Angelus came to the conclusion that when his other half took Buffy's virginity a connection had been made. The tiny spillage of her maiden's gift must have entered his body through his penis and from there worked its way through his system.

The exchange had been one way though. Buffy had not been able to feel him in the matter that he had felt her.

Yet there are always methods that go far beyond the flesh.

Angelus was the master of the impossible and conqueror of the probable. It did not just take blood to bind Buffy to him, it took the testing of passions and obsessions to accomplish the profane. Angelus had known that she could not help but think of him, evil depraved creature that he was or not.

And this already before their bonding.

 _Poor little Slayer_ he unrepentedly thought with much amusement. From the moment Angel had fled his mortal coils and he had returned to his rightful place she was already so very lost, and so very alone, with none to protect her from him.

Now only that possessive mistress Death could sever the supernatural ties between them. Unfortunately for this foolish creature, it only worked one way. He was the stronger one. He was the dominant, she was the submissive. The only danger he faced would be becoming slightly attached to the taste of her. No matter. There were millions of girls out there. He would never be binded to her, regardless if he drained her whole.

Angelus felt a strong fascination to see just how much had they changed, and how much more they would continue to do so. Her blood was the key. Each time he drank from her, the finer his skills became. When he shared his thirst with her, when she took her own blood from his lips, he could feel her body changing as well.

He was beginning to understand it, mostly by observation. While all the pieces had yet to fit, he knew it wouldn't be long. What he did not want, however, was Buffy to completely understand this new aspect of herself. She'd only know what he wanted her to know.

Besides, where could she go? She couldn't very well ask her Watcher and he doubted that there would be any mention of her condition in the Brit's impressive library.

If any before had undergone the evil that had occurred to Buffy, not only would it have been mentioned, it would have been legend amongst vampires. That legend would then have spurred countless of his kind to hunt the huntress in order to create a trophy.

No, Buffy was alone again in this. She only had himself, her creator to come to.

Knowledge always ensured power and as long as he recognized what was happening, he would have the ability to fight it-if necessary.

Angelus did not want Buffy to have the same weapons.

In the end, HE would be the one to ruthlessly cut the mythical thread of gold and she would be the one destroyed.

 _Angelus had not spent his time merely catering to his own lusts. The question of the Slayer's altered chemistry slyly plagued him. She was not vampire but she did seem to have the submissive role of one sired by him._

 _Yet she was different._

 _Wrapping a thirsty cotton towel around his lean hips Angelus padded over to the fish pond. Uncapping the cannister of food he held it up and gave it three definite shakes. Watching the slippery creatures gracefully circle about and rapidly devour their supper he remembered her behavior in this very room._

 _After brutally fucking her he had dismissed her in an equally brutal and calculating fashion. He had despised her in that moment. Within seconds he had felt her blood changing him, granting him physical euphoria as his dead cells quickened with vitality. Without testing it he had known that his strength had increased ten-fold._

 _Immediately after taking his pleasure of her delectable body he had wanted to taste her again. When she had pridefully walked away he had watched her, eagerly savoring the emotions of pain and rejection that she carefully kept hidden._

 _Despite the gushing water and the cooling of his flesh Angelus had known intense hunger. His mouth had opened to accommodate the lengthening of his fangs while his body became taut in anticipation of her carnal touch._

 _For a split-second he had almost called Buffy back before regaining the supreme control he prided himself on._

 _In that tiny fraction of a moment, however, he hated what he had wrought._

"I hate it!" she suddenly hissed in frustration. Her fingers thoughtlessly turned into little claws that dug into his arm. Fixedly staring ahead Buffy never gave it a moment's pause.

Ah, there it was. Good. Avidly Angelus watched her, drinking in all of the darker emotions that swirled about her golden head.

Turning feverishly bright eyes towards him she swore, "This can't be permanant! I will not accept that this is-"

"What?" He tauntingly broke in. "You won't accept that this is the way it is?" His low laugh sent shivers down Buffy's spine. "It's permanant Slayer." How he loved the way she cringed at that! Leaning down he promised, "It's all so very binding darling."

"You just said you didn't know anything about it", she challenged, an edge of denial shading her voice.

"I don't have to know about you in particular, I just have to know about what my blood can do."

"You have no blood" she bluntly stated.

"What?" he silkily asked, anger edging his cool reason.

"YOU have NO blood. You steal it-like a disgusting parasite. You're nothing more than a tick or a leach." A foreign calculating look entered her eyes when she realized just how deep her barb hit. "That's it", she sighed. "You're nothing more than a disgusting, blood-sucking leach."

Angelus' eyes slitted as a malicious intent possessed him. Buffy would pay dearly for that remark. The price of her foolishness would undoubtedly cost her more of her delicious blood.

 _Angelus chose his clothes with much care. Lightly fingering the rows of shirts he by-passed all the silks, velvets, and linen. Whistling an Irish folksong his fingers closed upon the thick sweater, neatly shedding it from its oak hanger. Walking over to the opposite side of his enormous closet Angelus allowed his finger to lovingly trace the edge of a particularly fine pair of leather pants._

 _He could very well imagine the shock on dear Mrs. Summer's face! How could she allow such a man near her daughter-a tutor no less! Afterall, a man who could wear pants like these should be tutoring her..._

 _Smirking slightly he continued on until he found a freshly laundered pair of ebony slacks. Pulling them toward him he allowed his gaze to study every aspect until finally deeming them worthy. Placing both items on the bench he strode a few paces to the many-drawered compartment in the back of the closet. Sliding open one drawer he selected a pristine white athletic under-shirt, smiling slightly at its popular name of_ _ **wife-beater**_ _. How droll. He made quick work of selecting barely-worn underwear and a brand-new pair of trouser socks._

 _While dressing himself he pondered on exactly what role he should assume tonight. Being invited to dinner by the Slayer's mother was quite the thing; it was filled with so many possibilites. Buffy would suffer the sting of his bite tonight, there could be no doubt, the only question being: force or seduction?_

 _Removing the wooden shoe-horns Angelus slid his feet into the finely-stitched leather shoes. Flexing his toes he acknowledged that he much preferred boots, urban or otherwise. A flash of ancient memory flared into his brain._

 _It was a vision of a child-Angel streaking mud across the freshly-washed foyer in his brand-new riding boots, oblivious to the slightly shrill voice of his mother chastising him on skipping his lessons to ride that 'smelly beast' again._

 _Shaking his head Angelus, distantly angry, wondered where that came from. Those were memories that belonged to a different person in a different life. They had no bearings upon him._

 _Riding boots did, however, bring the thought of horses to mind. His humor restored Angelus allowed his mind to continue. The thought of horses brought the thought of leather to mind. The thought of leather brought the thought of riding crops to mind. The thought of riding crops brought the thought of a topless Slayer to mind-along with the beautiful crimson lines that he would soon place there._

 _Striding out of the closet Angelus soon exited his chamber with thoughts of Buffy on his mind._

"You have a tendency for bringing trouble on your head, did you know that?" he asked conversationally.

"Trouble on my head? What is that? Another one of your lame Euro-expressions?" Buffy caustically commented.

The desire to strike her was so strong that Angelus nearly went cross-eyed from it. Her mouth. How he hated that smart-assed mouth! She may have vampire blood in her, and it may push her submissiveness along in regards to himself, but it had done nothing to sweeten that acidic tongue.

The only time he had her stumbling, whining, or magnificently miserable in her grief was if he had her on her back.

Lowering his brows over suddenly calculating eyes Angelus laughed suddenly. The sound of his mirth sent a pained awareness through Buffy's system. How close to Angel's laugh it was! It was close but merely on the surface, just as it was physically. Angelus' laugh contained a hidden meaness, a smug sense of knowledge, as if he were privy to a jest that excluded everyone.

Arching a brow Angelus glanced at the door. Fluidly standing up he easily lifted Buffy into his arms. When she began to struggle he hushed her with, "Quiet darling. Mommy's on her way to check on us both. You don't want her to see you with my cock shoved in your mouth, do you?"

Ripping back the covers with one hand he efficiently laid her down, ignoring the wide questioning eyes that followed him. Smoothing the covers over her he then made short work with her hair, touseling it until it soon looked like sleep-hair. Eying the door Buffy's ears strained for the creak of the stairs yet heard nothing. "How do you know she's coming?"

"Because Buff-I can hear her."

Slanting him a disgruntled glare Buffy informed him that, "My hearing is just as good as yours, if not better."

Speaking to her as if she were a grumpy child he admonished, "Then use it."

Buffy strained again, trying to hear her mother. It just didn't make sense! How could he hear her and she couldn't? Her hearing appeared to be back to normal, then why couldn't she-Wait! It flowed into her, like a surge of electricity. She could hear her mother's steps clearly, the sound of her shoes making a low-pitched squeal against the linoleum.

She was in the kitchen and she was making her way towards the stairwell.

Looking up she locked onto Angelus' face. He was watching her, a curious light in his usually fathomless eyes. "All you have to do is use it Buff."

"What?" she whispered.

He stood there silently for a moment, before his eyes slid to the door. "Why the bond Miss Summers! What else would I be talking of?"

Before she could say anything else Buffy heard her mother reach the landing. Lifting her panicked face to him she was about to mouth out "Hide!" when she remembered that Angelus was fast enough to run right past her mother without her knowing it.

They both could hear her mother reach the top of the stairs and pause. She slowly walked past Buffy's closed door before abruptly stopping. Angelus was still at Buffy's bedside when Joyce's steps started towards the closed door.

Buffy's eyes flew to Angelus'; she could easily see the thrill swimming in the dark depths. He enjoyed taking things to the limit, regardless of how trivial it might be. As the door knob turned he stood there, daring them to be caught.

Just before Joyce could realize that the door was locked Angelus leaned down and gave Buffy a mocking kiss across her foreheard, his cool lips searing her skin.

Immediately she felt a wave of lust so strong that her insides clenched from it.

Joyce never noticed that the door had been locked against her, nor did she see the shadow that flew past her, the darkness of the room disguising all that might have seemed unnatural. Only Buffy saw him standing in the doorway, a smirk lifting the corner of his well-shaped mouth.

He could smell her desire and she knew it.

With a last lingering look Angelus disappeared from sight, only the inaudible click of the hallway bathroom alerting Buffy to where he had gone to.

"Buffy! What are you doing asleep?" Joyce lightly chided her daughter.

Feigning the disorientedness of sleep was hardly a challenge. Buffy felt so steeped in the sudden rush of carnal emotions that she could barely bring reason to her words. Swallowning several times she weakly croaked, "Mom?"

"Don't you realize what time it is?" Not waiting for her daughter to answer she continued, "It's dinner time! Well not quite since dinner is late, but...c'mon! Get up!" She turned about and headed towards the door. Pausing she half-way turned and said, "Oh, I almost forgot! I invited your tutor for dinner. He's here now, so hurry up."

Rubbing a hand across her eyes Buffy wondered what new torments Angelus had devised for her this evening.

When her mother closed the door she swung her legs off the bed and heaved a large sigh. Padding over to the closet she lifted out a hand to find something to wear when she stopped in mid-movement. Why was she getting dressed nicely for him?

Frowning Buffy closed the closet door with a decided slam before walking over to her dresser. Quickly pulling open one drawer she grabbed a white t-shirt and then she found a pair of shorts. Slipping on both articles she then found a pair of socks and slipped those on as well.

Going into her bathroom she flipped on the switch and took a long look at herself in the mirror.

She did not like what she saw.

Her mouth was swollen from the brutal kisses she had taken, the kisses she had unwillingly wanted. Her hazel eyes were so dark they appeared black, almost as dark as his black heart. The skin under her eyes appeared shadowed, small lines taut with stress.

Gripping the counter with both hands Buffy felt the desire disappear and the sick twist of her gut turn to tension. Angelus was going to pay her back for defying him. Fear could not be a part of her reaction, she could not afford to be at anything less than top mental condition.

He was here to play tutor. He wanted to see her squirm with fear, he expected it. She could not fall into that.

Lifting a brush Buffy quickly brushed her hair before twisting into a ponytail. What if her lack of fear challenged him to be more outrageous in his behavior? Her mother could not be apart of the price he wanted from her.

The brush clattered to the floor when she tossed it away from her in frustration. Walking out of the bathroom she prepared for the worst. Determination squared her small shoulders as she took the stairs. Reaching the bottom she paused when the soft laughter assailed her ears.

He was already there with her mother.

Walking into the kitchen Buffy was prepared for everything except for the sight that met her. She expected Angelus to be lounging in a chair with a glass of wine in his hand or perhaps standing in a corner smirking, but she did not expect him to be at the stove wearing an apron.

He was stirring the sauce with a large wooden spoon, attentive to her mother's chattering. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather stir this Joyce? I wouldn't want to pass anything on to either of you."

"I'm sure you won't. Anyways, you did say that you were almost over whatever bug you had." Looking at him with a frown she murmured, "Although you still look pale. Have you been getting any sun lately?"

"No I haven't." Only Buffy could hear the amusement in his words. Her mother thought Angelus was sick and she was okay with him contaminating the spaghetti sauce? It only went to prove how much charm that demon really did have.

When Joyce reached for a bowl on the top shelf, Angelus easily got it for her murmuring politely, "Here let me get that for you."

Joyce smiled up into his face, a slight blush tinging her cheeks. She replied, "Thank you Angel." Buffy's body went rigid. There could be no question about her mother's feelings. She was still obviously attracted to Angelus.

Setting the bowl down on the counter next to him she glanced at him and said, "I just want to let you know how much I appreciate you taking the time to help Buffy with school."

"It's my pleasure Joyce, it really is."

Sighing she said, "Things have been kind of hard for her since the divorce. She's gotten into trouble in school and-well, she's hasn't been the same girl that she was. I worry about her. Her father hasn't taken much of an interest in her. I'm afraid it's more that he'd rather not see me but-"

How could she just tell their business to this man? Buffy fumed at how easily her mother painted a picture of her delinquent teen-age daughter. _What Mom? Hope to score some pity points?_

"Buffy just needs someone to spend time with her, to take an interest in what she's doing."

"I try but with working now to support us both-"

"I wasn't suggesting that you weren't trying Joyce. I understand that things are tough around here without someone to lean on." Still stirring the sauce he repeated, "Buffy just needs someone she can come to, someone she can depend on."

Nodding her head Joyce agreed. "I think you're right." Sighing heavily she said, "It's just that she used to do so well in school! Now it seems that school doesn't have her attention."

"She's young. Doing poorly in her studies is just the outward symptom of what's going on inside. She's bright and she's determined, I'm sure she'll come out of this."

"You know at first I wasn't too comfortable with you tutoring Buffy." Laughing softly Joyce continued with, "I thought maybe you were some older man with ideas about my baby girl, but I'm impressed."

"Really?"

"Yes. I can see that you really care about my daughter's future."

"I do care about her future Joyce. I want to know that my tutoring changed the path of her life forever-in the best way of course."

How did God not just strike this creature dead? Pushing off the doorjamb Buffy strolled into the kitchen, her face pleasant as she brightly said, "Something smells good! Are we having spaghetti tonight?"

"One of your favorites." Joyce smiled indulgently at her daughter, a feeling of contentment dancing about in her fine eyes. Buffy tried not to feel the resentment of jealousy, especially when her mother looked at her like that. There could be no doubt that Joyce loved her, but...

Angelus was rubbing his hands with the apron, a small smile on his face as he walked over to her. "Hello Buffy, are you ready to eat?"

God! How much he sounded like Angel! If she could only pretend, for one night, that he was what he appeared. "Sure" she forced herself to flippantly say.

"I hope you brought your appetite Buffy. After dinner you and I have some history to go over."

Glancing at her mother Buffy saw that she was turning away and walking over to the cupboard. "I'm ready." The lowering of her brow and the glint in her eyes conveyed her message to the arrogant vampire clearly.

"Good. I look forward to it. Just remember that I won't be going easy on you this time." To her mother's ears it was an innocent statement, a light-hearted warning between tutor and pupil. Only Buffy knew differently.

"I wouldn't expect you to."

Angelus' eyes slid to her mother, noting that her back was still turned. Quickly he leaned into Buffy, his tongue smoothly following the curve of her small ear. "I'm going to love hearing you beg tonight Buff", he hotly whispered.

Before Buffy could open her mouth Joyce turned around, three large plates in her hand. Angelus was already at a proper distance away from Buffy.

"Ready?" she obliviously asked.

"Yeah."

"Of course."

And indeed they were.

Dinner surprisingly was hardly a strained affair. After helping Buffy set the dining room table, Angelus was all that was charming, keeping Joyce vastly entertained with amusing stories told in a deadpan face. The side he presented was all that Angel was not-comfortable and easy-going, with a penchant for fascinating stories. He even lulled Buffy into the conversation, putting her in a shining light so often her mother many times reached over and either squeezed or patted her hand.

Taking a sip of water Buffy observed Angelus over a rim of colored glass. He gave the appearance of eating without taking a bite at all. When her mother's attention was directly on him he would lift up a forkful of spaghetti, the moment she glanced down or took a bite herself he would put his fork down. As soon as she looked up again he would wipe his mouth with the linen napkin.

Many times he paused before speaking, moving his mouth as if eating. All in all it was very convincing. Setting her glass down Buffy took note of his plate. It was all very convincing-except for his plate. A tangled pile of spaghetti still sat there.

Her eyes flitted up and were immediately pinned by his own. Buffy's first true reaction would have been to take another drink or perhaps even a bite of food just to avoid the probing heat she found there.

However, indulging in truth would only make her appear even weaker, so Buffy chose the familiar tactic of illusion. Instead she calmly stared back, a slight brow arched with a tiny smile playing about the corners of her mouth.

Pointedly her gaze dropped to the sturdy blue china in front of him before looking back up. _How are you going to pull that off?_ seemed to be her silently mocking challenge.

A supremely confident gleam brightened the dark orbs of his eyes. Smugly arrogant to the end Angelus glanced briefly at Joyce, noting her attention was on her glass of wine, before mouthing "Just watch." He then turned away and asked her mother about her latest aquisition for auction.

Her mother's chatter filled the air, her enthusiasm over a rare painting found at an estate sale obvious. Buffy filtered out her words as she lifted her fork and took another bite.

Surprisingly she would have thought her appetite would be non-existent. After the strain of this week and the sheer affront of having a master vampire dining at her table...well that should be enough to squash even the most stalwart of appetites.

Mentally shrugging she just enjoyed the excellent food her mother prepared. Her contest with Angelus would begin soon enough, there was no need to starve herself in the interim.

As she began to take another bite, Buffy felt a slow slide against her bare leg. Jerking slightly her gaze flew to Angelus'. While his face looked angelic, his eyes definitely cast intentions from a different dominion. Hot lust raked her flesh as she felt his touch again. God! She HAD to learn to control her baser emotions, otherwise she'd be of no use to anyone.

"Buffy?"

Was it just her imagination or did his voice carry a low, throaty growl? Eyes fleeing to her mother she saw Joyce smiling slightly, her attention now focused upon her. No, he couldn't have sounded so sexual with her mother sitting there-could he?

It was merely her perception. The tightening in her gut and the weakness centered between her thighs only colored her senses to what it wanted.

Looking at him she pasted on an inquisitive face as she answered, "What?" There. That sounded normal with even a touch of requisite teenage suspicion and hostility.

Gesturing with his fork Angelus said, "You dropped sauce on your shirt."

"I did?" Buffy immediately put her fork down. Taking two fingers she pulled her shirt away from her body, studying it for a splotch of red. "Where? I don't see it."

"You can't? It's right there in the middle."

Looking down again Buffy vainly searched for the stain, but saw nothing. Before she could smartly tell him to get his eyes checked her mother said, "Honey you better get that shirt off."

"Why?"

"Because it might set." Peering around the flowered centerpiece Joyce questioningly asked,"Did you get some on the table cloth-as large as that stain is I wouldn't be surprised."

There was no stain.

Setting his fork down Angelus remarked in a pleasant tone, "Go up and change Buffy. I'm sure you wouldn't want your shirt ruined."

Gritting her teeth Buffy knew she was outmaneuvered. To argue further would only cast her in a pouty light; somehow he had her mother convinced of something that was not even there. How did he do that?

Pushing back her chair she announced, "I'm done eating."

Nodding Joyce took another sip of wine before saying, "Okay Honey." As an afterthought she added, "Oh and Buffy-the stain remover is the laundry room right above the washer. Just pour a little bit on it and let it set. Don't rub it though."

Setting her napkin down Joyce glanced to her left and saw Angelus patiently sitting there, obviously finished with dinner. Before declaring the end of the meal Joyce offered coffee to which Angelus politely declined.

Standing she picked up her plate before picking up his. When he exclaimed, "Let me get that" she forestalled him with a firm, "Please allow me."

Awkwardly still standing there Buffy stiffened slightly, her eyes becoming hardened. She did not like her mother serving Angelus or touching any part of what was his. Quickly she was beginning to feel like an outsider in some intimate encounter between her mother and her boyfriend-

No. Not her boyfriend. The creature who blackmailed her into bed.

Buffy avoided his eyes, knowing she would only see a mocking reflection of what she was fearing.

Pushing back his own chair Angelus stood up and exclaimed, "My eyes were too big for my stomach! I guess I shouldn't have had that second helping."

Looking across the table at him Buffy waited to hear what her mother would say. Would he be able to do it again?

Walking across the kitchen to the sink Joyce set down both plates on the counter. Returning back she gently smiled at his statement. Waving her hand Joyce graciously said, "It's fine! I'm just glad you had enough the first time around. The flu can be a killer-the only way to get your strength back is to take it a little at a time."

Looking at her daughter she asked, "After you put up your plate can you help me with these?" With an arm she gestured to the plate laden table. "Or would you rather wait until you took care of your shirt?"

Before Buffy could open her mouth Angelus replied, "Please Joyce, sit down. Buffy and I can take care of these." Seeing she was about to protest he held up a hand and firmly said, "I insist."

Looking between her daughter and the tutor Joyce smiled and threw up her hands in resignation. "Alright! I'll be in the living room."

Slanting Angelus a dark look Buffy took her plate into the kitchen. Briefly glancing down at her shirt she was interrupted in mid-thought when Angelus purred, "Hoping to see it this time Buff?"

Angelus' hip rested comfortably against the counter, his arms crossed in amusement. "I know it's not there!" she hissed, glancing over her shoulder to make sure her mother could not see them.

"Are you really, really sure it's not?" he whispered back, a subtle tone of gloating soaking each word.

Angry Buffy gave him her back, half-way expecting him to haul her back by her arm. Instead she merely heard his footsteps echo behind her into the dining room. They completed the rest of their task in silence. Once all the dishes were stacked and the table cleaned off Buffy left Angelus in the kitchen.

She stopped only when she heard him remark, "Don't forget to change your shirt."

Stiffening up she forced herself to casually climb the steps. Pushing open the bedroom door she quickly strode over to her dresser and pulled out another shirt, this time in a pretty shade of lavender.

 _Damn him!_ she fumed. She despised how quickly he seemed to always take control of things. No matter how minor it was, Angelus always took the upper hand in regards to her. Now he proved that he had the ability to control people's mind-why hadn't he tried it with her?

Or had he?

Was the bond not really one at all, but merely the result of his vampiric powers?

Before this night was through she would test it. In her most heart of hearts she did not know what she hoped to discover. Without this animalistic feeling she would no longer have a reason to excuse her joy in coming to him...

After everything why should she even want to come to him?

Buffy became increasingly angry at the thought of Angelus probing into her mother's mind. He had absolutely no right to manipulate her mother as if she were nothing more than a faceless woman in the background to be played with at will.

His ability to do this made Buffy feel powerless and unsure of what to do. Giles had touched briefly on a vampire's ability to do simple mental suggestions. From what her Watcher understood it was a very rare power to have.

The sheer mental strength that it took from a vampire made it a skill that was used sparingly and one that grew with age. Since many vampires met with the stake before the half-century mark, it was hardly an issue to begin with.

Giles would have been morbidly fascinated with this turn of events. Properly horrified in his way of course, but fascinated nonetheless. She wished she could tell him-but she couldn't. Giles would also have wanted to know about how Angelus came to be in her house in the first place.

She had to do something about it-but what and how?

She felt so alone. Daily Buffy wondered how she would be able to juggle her two lives, lives that were increasingly becoming isolated despite the fact that she was not physically alone in either one. Eventually one life would venture into the other one-possibly destroying them both.

Destroying them both before Acrymydion ground the remnants beneath his heel.

Yanking her _stained_ shirt off she threw it on the bed before pulling the other one on. Once again she could not afford to allow her thoughts to travel any further. Melancholy would serve nothing; what she needed at this moment was to focus on the two people below.

Tucking the end of the shirt into her shorts Buffy snatched her white tee and headed for the laundry room downstairs in the basement. Although it was a supreme waste of effort to treat a stain that did not exist, Buffy was not going to give the opportunity to stir even more trouble to that ass. There was no need to give Angelus another reason to torment her via her mother.

Rapidly coming down the stairs Buffy could just picture it in her mind.

 _Joyce: Buffy did you treat the stain?  
Buffy: Hmm?  
The Devil aka Angelus: You know, I have this secret recipe that comes down from my side of the family, it works miracles on stains. Would you mind if I give it try?  
(Never mind the fact that Angelus probably doesn't know squat about laundry, but of course her mother would believe it without thinking 'Gee, wouldn't that take ingredients that I probably don't have since I send a lot stuff to the cleaners?')  
Buffy: You don't need to.  
Angelus: But I want to. Where did you put the shirt-in the laundry room?  
(Minutes later)  
Angelus: I didn't see it-Joyce I think Buffy is lying. She is an horrible daughter.  
Joyce: I can't believe you would lie Buffy! By the way I think Angel is just what I, I mean, WE need around here. I, I mean, YOU need someone to keep you in line. When can you move in Angel?_

Reaching the landing Buffy felt a simmering of anger against the whole situation. On one hand she could just explode with fury when her mother flashed Angelus those smiles. How could her mother be attracted to her tutor? Wasn't that tantamount to some version of molestation? Joyce Summers was old enough to be-

Her thoughts immediately crashed to a halt. Wait a minute, what was she doing? This was not supposed to her mind set. She was being an immature brat by getting angry with her mother when it was really Angelus who was the blame.

If she took the time to think things rationally she had to see that her mother was not intentionally putting the moves on her territory. For all her mother knew Angelus was a single, extremely attractive male only about 10 years younger than herself.

She obviously believed that he was nothing more than her tutor.

She had no idea that her daughter had been having raw, animalistic sex with her tutor.

She had no idea that her daughter's feelings concerning her tutor were far too complicated and yet all too simple in regards to possessiveness.

Flipping on the light switch Buffy came down the steps. Pulling on the dangling string above the washer she waited until the light flickered on before searching for the stain treatment. Uncapping the liquid she tipped the bottle over the supposed stain and watched as the blue gel rapidly soaked into the shirt.

Angelus was here to cause trouble. It was obvious that he was succeeding. Instead of steeling her mind against him, she was worrying herself with petty jealousy. In comparison to Saturday night her mother had shown very few overt signs of what she thought about Angelus.

Her mother...

While the initial burst of anger had significantly faded Buffy could not help the possessiveness she felt in regards to that bastard. Rational reasons or not, her mother would have to be firmly set aside from whatever thoughts she had about Angel the Tutor.

Climbing up the stairs Buffy kept that resolution in mind. All her finer reasonings faltered however when she saw them both in the living room. Joyce's head was thrown back, her laughter sweet and clear. Her hand was firmly laying on top of Angelus' hand.

Angelus was leaning forward in his chair, his leg almost touching her mother's. His mouth was held a wide, open smile.

He never smiled at her that way.

Buffy's eyes began to get heavy with fury. Coming into the room she flopped down on the couch across from them both. Without saying a word she stared at the hand that covered Angelus' until Joyce seemed a bit discomfited by what she saw in her daughter's face.

Removing her hand she quickly stood up and stated, "Well I guess I'll be in my office since you two have work to do."

Although her mother's voice was bright, a shade of forced jovialty sounded clearly in Buffy's ears.

"Thank you for dinner Joyce-it was delicious."

Nodding at him she replied, "You're welcome" before glancing at Buffy again. Quickly looking away she said, "Have a good session Buffy."

Her daughter simply shrugged, never saying a word.

Buffy had no real idea that a dangerous menace radiated from her, despite the emotionless set of her eyes. Joyce sensed it on an instinctual level, making her for the first time unnerved, perhaps even frightened, by her own child.

Just that one moment was able to do what all the arson, school expulsions, fights, and failing grades had not been able to do.

Angelus merely smiled that soft, dangerous smile of his. To know that he had played another integral part in tearing Buffy away from all that she trusted and loved-words failed him. To know that soon he would be all that she would turn to whether she wished it or not-words would never do justice.

And things would just be getting better and better.

Turning towards his little lover Angelus smoothly asked, "Are you prepared?"

"For what?" she coldly asked.

"Why your lesson _enfant_."

"History?" she archly asked.

"Among others."

Regarding him with a frigid stare Buffy carefully said, "There are no lessons here Angel. Your playtime is over. Feel free to leave anytime really-like NOW."

Clucking his tongue Angelus gracefully stood up before seating himself next to her. "You know how I feel about that Buff" he softly said while running one fingertip down the side of her cheek.

Jerking her head away Buffy recoiled from the unbidden heat that sprung to life from that one touch. "What? Everyone can call you Angel but me?" she snidely remarked, angry because of his condescending tone and angry because of her uncontrolled hungers.

"Clever girl." Dropping his arm along the back of the couch he musingly said, "You know I've been extremely patient with you this evening. If I were you I wouldn't push it any further."

Barely leashed violence simmered beneath the surface of her darkening eyes. "What can I say vamp-I push."

"What's got you in such a snit Slayer?"

"Since when do you care?" she shot back.

A smirk played along the lines of his lips. "Such harsh words baby. I've been the soul of kindness tonight. I've been the perfect guest and yet you're so bitchy." Reproachfully he softly murmured, "Ungrateful brat."

"Spare me Angelus!" Facing him directly she spoke in a dangerously soft tone that should have done him proud. "Stay out of my mother's mind-you got it? In fact, stay away from my mother period. You touch her I maim you, then I kill you. No, scratch that, I maim you and then I maim you some more. Just how much healing would it take... _baby_?"

Angelus felt himself thicken in his pants. The Slayer's fury aroused the darker side of his passion almost as strongly as her fear did. He wanted to see more of it.

"Jealous of your own mother. Tell me Buff, just how much of a chance do you think I have if you and I don't work out?"

A flash of pain stained Buffy's eyes a deep, dark green. Angelus' eyes slitted with malicious pleasure and even deeper hunger now that he had hurt her. Avidly he listened to her say, "You enjoy doing this so much you forget that eventually the thing you hurt hurts back."

A deep rumble of laughter flooded her ears. "All that fire! I should get you jealous more often. It makes you all cute and pink." Running a hand down her thigh he delighted in the little shudder her body betrayed. Despite all his doubts Angelus enjoyed the thought of making her his mistress.

He reveled in the knowledge that tonight he would pervert her a little more. He unashamedly rejoiced in the anticipation of tainting her delicate little wings of gold. "Kiss me", he arrogantly commanded.

"Go to Hell", she succinctly ordered.

A predator's gleam snaked through his eyes before Angelus grabbed a fistful of blonde hair and growled, "I said kiss me."

Buffy silently cursed her weaker reflexes. She saw him strike a split-second too late. Unless she wanted to break some of her mother's furniture and create an unexplainable scene Buffy could not use any of her Slayer moves.

She could, however, dig her claws into the cool flesh of his neck. "Let go."

"Kiss me first."

Spitefully she spat, "Don't you have any pride?"

"Plenty. Now shut-up and kiss me." When he saw that she still refused he remarked, "Isn't funny how you didn't have a problem earlier tonight? In fact I'd bet that you were left a little hungry when Joyce interupted us."

Buffy's eyes narrowed at the familiar way he said her mother's name. "Ahh," he breathed, "so that's still it. You really think I have designs on your sweet mother."

Squeezing her hand tighter Buffy harshly said, "I'm tired of dealing with you tonight. Get out Angelus."

Letting go of her hair with a derisive push Angelus nastily shot back, "You don't order me around Buff." Standing up he walked over to a small table by the entryway. Leaning down he lifted up a black, over-the-shoulder bag.

Carefully setting it down on the table he unzipped it, the zipper loud and harsh in the hushed room. Putting a hand inside Angelus lifted out a heavy beige textbook.

Buffy's eyes widened slightly when she recognized it as the history book used in her class. Meeting his eyes she saw the amusement dancing in his dark gaze. "You've got to be kidding me."

Crisply Angelus replied, "Absolutely not." Standing above her he flipped through the book until arriving at the desired chapter. "I understand you're currently studying chapter fifteen."

After a long pause it was obvious that his was not a rhetorical question. Arching a thick brow he impatiently asked, "Well?"

"How did you know?"

"I make it my business to know about you darling."

"Look your little game here has gone far enough. We," gesturing between them both with one hand Buffy emphasized, "WE are not going to sit here and pretend to study."

"I agree with you Buff. WE are not going to PRETEND to study. WE are GOING to study. YOU are going to learn everything there is to know about Europe in the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries."

Opening her mouth to argue she read the implacability in his face. "Fine" she snapped before getting up from the couch.

"Where are you going?"

Pausing in mid-step she impatiently said, "I'm getting a notebook and pen."

"Don't bother. You won't need it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that you are going to learn this by the night is through or suffer the consequences."

Talking to him as if he were mentally challenged Buffy slowly asked, "And how do you think I'm going to learn this if I don't take down notes?"

Briefly looking down at her Angelus evenly stated, "By memory idiot. The people of your century amaze me. Everything just has to be handed to you, even your education. In my day students were expected to recall information on demand using only their memories, not by flipping through their hot-pink notebook"

 _He knows that my history notebook is hot-pink. Just how much does he really know about me?_

Shaking his head Angelus dismissingly said, "Sometimes Slayer I just don't know why I waste my time..."

Stung by his casual insult Buffy coldly charged, "I never asked you to take time with me. In fact I never asked you to be here. Let's take it even further-I never asked you to fuck me. Now let's take it even further than that-I never, ever asked for you to come back."

Angelus stared at Buffy, an expressionless look on his face. Very slowly he put the book down on the couch before moving directly in front of her. Warily she waited for him to try to strike her, her muscles tensing for the speed to avoid any blow.

Instead Angelus surprised her.

Tipping her face with one finger he murmured, "Slayer, there's going to come a time that you will beg me never to leave you. You will love me so completely that you'd rather slit your own throat than have me turn away from you."

A knife twisted in Buffy's heart at the heat inspired from his darkly spoken words. She could feel the imprint of his one finger singe her mercilessly. Her fury became prematurely extinguished as she numbly shook her head back and forth.

The seriousness of Angelus' face had not cracked with either malicious triumph or hellish fury. "Oh yes you will Buff." Reaching out with one hand he cupped the side of her face before bringing his lips down to hers. His tongue forced its way through the tensing of her lips until it reached the haven of her warm mouth.

Carnally Angelus explored with his lips and tongue until finally being rewarded with the intoxicating scent of Buffy's unwilling arousal. Leaving her mouth he hungrily sucked and tasted the column of her throat while Buffy let out a series of strangled mewls.

Gripping her hands in his thick sweater she felt him lay her back against the couch. Swimming in the intense pleasure Angelus' hands and mouth so easily wrought Buffy became assaulted by the urge to have him bite her. A red, angry flush stained her cheeks as she felt deeply ashamed by the unnatural desire.

There was so much wrong here. So much wrong.

Curling her fingers until they became small fists Buffy again wondered if all her body's reactions were placed by Angelus himself. Had he placed a suggestion into her mind that created all of this?

When he wet the cotton of her shirt with his mouth Buffy silently arched her back. The coldness of him quickly pebbled her nipple as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through her body. Buffy's fists unclenched themselves only to become entangled in his thick, black hair.

"That is the only thing in this world that I will promise you Slayer-how much you will come love me." Those words were softly whispered against her chest, right above her rapidly beating heart.

"I don't have anymore love to give Angelus-I already gave it to Angel."

A chilling light entered his eyes, replacing the hungry lust. "I think not Slayer" he quietly charged. "As long as you have this," tapping against her heart he continued, "you have passion. As long as you have passion, you have love."

"What about you? You feel passion for me, do you not?" Buffy did not know why she had boldly asked him, but now she did not regret the words that somehow might give clue to the insanity that had captured her life for the past few weeks.

Was it possible for him to love her as well? Could she perhaps change this demon into something worth saving?

On the heels of those thoughts Buffy flinched from the pure look of hatred he flashed her. It contorted his features for a second before the beautifully handsome facade recovered. Still laying heavily on top of her he slowly drew her hand up until it slipped beneath his sweater.

Laying it against his cold chest he allowed several moments to pass before saying, "Do you feel that?"

"There's nothing" she softly replied, looking deeply into his gaze.

"That's right, there's nothing. That means exactly that-there is nothing. Nothing nice, warm, gushy, or even bloody. My heart does not control this body, not like yours does. Remember that Buff."

"I will. Thank you Angelus", she quietly said after many moments.

"For what?"

"For making it easier to fight you."

Silence played in the room until Angelus calmly stated, "Fight me until your last breath but my face will be the last one you see."

Remembering the prophesy Buffy said, "I don't think so."

Coldly smiling down into her pretty face, "You sound awful confident Slayer. There's just one thing you forgot."

"What?"

"You're mine baby. Now and until the day you die."

"I don't-"

"Darling" he said in a warning growl. "Don't lie to me again."

A vivid memory of Sunday night came to Buffy. Her face paled as she remembered how many times she had told him that she did belong to him.

"I see that you remember. C'mon sweetie," he mockingly coaxed, "tell me again."

A bit of her fight went out as she dully said "I belong to you." How could she be a hypocrite and pretend as if it were untrue? But then again, all she had done tonight was pretend that she had a fighting chance against this monster...

"And here you've been difficult all night." Smoothing back her hair Angelus advised, "If you'd remember that things would go easier for you."

"You don't want them easier. You like to hurt me."

"How perceptive."

"Just like you did on the table."

Angelus went rigid as the blinding fury took ahold of him. Thoughtlessly he fisted his hand while Buffy's head became pulled back. How he wanted to get past this hateful jealousy that caused him to lose all sense of reason!

It was done, it was over with.

Ignoring the restless shifting of the girl beneath him Angelus remembered their avid lustful faces as he sawed his body in and out of hers. How he wanted to cause a legion of pain and suffering upon those invited witnesses!

When he felt her hand forefully pry his off he finally looked down at her. "Let go of my hair!" she hissed.

Dumbly he saw several strands of gold glimmer in the soft light of the living room lamp. Pushing himself off of her he calmly picked up the textbook and began skimming through it as if nothing had happened. "Forget about it."

"Forget about it?" she derisively repeated. "I can't because I lived through it-"

"I said forget about it. It won't happen again." Angelus silently swore at himself for saying that. It was the closest to an honest apology that he had ever given and the knowledge that it was given to his whore sickened him.

"Not good enough-"

Exploding in anger Angelus roughly grabbed Buffy by the arm and shook her once before saying through clenched teeth, "It better be good enough because I will not hear another word about it! If it makes you feel better to pretend it never happened-then pretend."

Flinging his hand off of her Buffy felt the tears swimming in her eyes. "I'll never forgive you."

"So what? I'm not asking for it", he coldly spat.

When Buffy opened her mouth to retaliate he cruelly stated, "You seemed over it Sunday night as my tongue licked your pussy over and over again. You hardly seemed a victim Buff while you fucked yourself with four of my fingers. And you sure as hell did not seem shattered with grief when you had your tongue shoved inside my mouth tonight upstairs and here."

Staring at him for long moments Buffy felt her spirit dim and her anger fold up inside itself, before shriveling and dying. The truth stung her viciously, despite the reality of her feelings.

Looking away she felt the hot splashes of tears hit her cheeks before trailing down her face. Oh God, she was so confused! The scorn in his voice made her ashamed of herself. How could she respond to him if she truly had been raped?

Maybe she had only been embarrassed and angry that night and that's why she had-

No, no! Buffy knew what she had felt and it was not an attempt to cover stung pride.

But she continued to respond long afterwards. Perhaps she had no real claim to feel anything other than being ashamed of herself. Shame and guilt. Buffy could feel herself begin the process of burying the pain inside, deep down inside where everything else ugly went.

Angelus watched in twisted satisfaction as Buffy's shoulders slumped slightly. Now that the initial fight had gone out of her she would be more mallable to his intents. "Are you ready to study now?"

Dully Buffy said, "I don't want to study. Please go away."

"As lovely as that word _please_ sounds on your lips I'm afraid that I'm not going anywhere yet and neither are you. You have a test next week and I'm not expecting anything less than perfection from you Buff."

"Perfection", she hoarsely rasped.

"Perfection."

"Impossible", Buffy tonelessly stated.

"I think not sweetie." Leading her by the hand Angelus gently sat Buffy down on the couch. "Stay right here" was all that he murmured. With wide, saddened eyes Buffy watched him return back to his bag. Life sprang back to her eyes when she saw what he held in his hand.

A black leather riding crop.

"This is the night for knowledge darling." He stood immediately before her again. How silky his voice sounded! A pulse of pleasure resonated with each spoken word, assailing Buffy's ears while her eyes were trained upon the long pale fingers that played with the slim object.

"After our initial overview we will cover the chapter section by section. Upon completion I will quiz you. For each correct answer you will gain knowledge that should last you for the rest of your life. For each incorrect answer...", Angelus' voice trailed, leaving a signficant pause.

The moment drew out with Buffy staring at his hands. He meant to use that on her. He meant to inflict pain on her under the sick guise of helping her.

She had yet to break his arm.

Suddenly the crop came down against his palm, jerking her out of her stunned silence. It was almost as if he had known her thoughts. "For each incorrect answer you will gain one blow."

"You're crazy!"

Continuing as if she hadn't interrupted Angelus said, "How this night ends is up to you Buff. Pay attention, I won't have to use this. Otherwise...", he allowed the edge of the crop to teasingly trail across her collarbones. "Otherwise you will suffer its sting."

When Buffy jerked away from the cold leather Angelus chuckled. A tiny smirk twisted his lips as he said, "Regardless Buff this will be a night to further your education...in history and in me."

Warily she kept her eyes upon him as she stood up. "I don't think so."

Boring his eyes into hers he asked, "Is that fear I smell or desire? Maybe both?"

"You are not going to use that on me Angelus! If you try I'll use it on you instead!"

"I don't think so baby. I'm no one's bitch, while you..." The sentiment was left unsaid but projected so loudly.

Buffy drew in a hissed breath. "I will not do it! You're disgusting, did you know that?"

Flashing her his dangerous smile Angelus politely asked, "Would you prefer to do this in private or would you like your mother to keep us company?"

Buffy's cheeks flared in anger. "I've already warned you..."

Shaking his head in mockery Angelus stated, "AND you've already seen a taste of what I can do to her mind. If you make this hard I can have her sitting right here while I whip your ass and she won't remember a thing. You, on the other, will."

"What makes you think I'll just go along with this?"

"Because you've already gone along with everything else", he softly stated.

Defeated again Buffy bit her lip in pained fury. He took everything away from her, all her choices, all her dignity. How she hated him! There had to be a way to fight him on this, there just had to be.

Correctly reading her struggle Angelus boredly remarked, "You're wasting time here Buff. Let me see if I can make your soul-searching a triffle bit easier: if you waste anymore of my time not only will your mother sit here, I'll put in a memory so ugly and nasty, that it will cause her pain to even look at you."

In fury she shot off the couch. Clenching her fists Buffy threw out, "I don't think you can do it!"

"Fine. I guess seeing is believing", he stated while shrugging. Staring at Buffy he never said a word but she could sense him reaching with his mind. She couldn't even begin to understand how she knew, but she just did.

Within seconds she could hear her mother walk out of her office and come down the hall. Entering the living room she looked at Angelus before saying, "Sorry to interupt but I think I left a file in here."

She clearly could see the riding crop in his hand but did not remark on it at all.

"It's no problem at all. Buffy is just reading up on her chapter before we quiz." He gestured to an empty chair with the crop. Looking in that direction Joyce absently smiled before stating, "Stop slouching Buffy."

With that she turned out of the room without a file and without ever realizing that Buffy was standing a few feet away from her.

Feeling a chill run up her spine she looked up to see the arrogant continence of her vampire lover. All too clearly she realized that he wanted to do more than bed her: he truly wanted to break her. Bit by bit he was taking away her ability to fight against him.

Dear God what was she going to do?

At that moment Buffy feared him more than she ever had before. It wasn't the prospect of being whipped by him that made her blood run cold. It wasn't even the knowledge that he could control what those around her saw and believed.

It was the belief that he wanted to become her master and would succeed.

How could he fail when she couldn't even keep up a strong enough fight? Even now she felt a trembling in her belly that had nothing to do with disgust and everything to do with the curiousity that had plagued her since she read of his sexual appetites.

"Why so glum baby? Studying doesn't have to be all that bad you know", he laughingly remarked.

Before she could keep the words to herself Buffy asked, "Why can't you be straight forward? Why does everything with you have to hide behind something else?"

A primitive emotion flashed through his eyes. Fingering the crop again he replied, "Why does it with you?"

"Just come to the point-"

"Maybe you should first practice what you expect from me, then you can throw all the nauseating righteous conviction you want at my head."

Seeing she was going to argue some more Angelus made a slashing motion with his hand, sending the crop to make a singing whine. "Enough Slayer. You're just trying to avoid the situation. Again. Haven't you learned yet that I won't play YOUR games?"

Smiling wolfishly as her gaze darted to the beautifully tooled leather in his hand he promised, "Don't worry baby-I make an excellent tutor. I'll teach everything you need to know tonight and many more. Now make up your mind: private or public?"

Swallowing the bitter sense of defeat Buffy took a deep breath. _Please let me find a way to face myself in the morning_ she silently prayed as she seated herself on the couch. If he had placed his mind control on her, she would try to find out tonight.

It might very well be her last shred of hope against him.

Folding her hands primly in her lap Buffy tilted her head up as she said, "I'm ready Angelus."

Cruelly smiling Angelus picked up the fallen book and placed it on her lap. Standing behind her he softly instructed, "Turn to page 247. Quickly now Buff. We must hurry through the overview and the sections, but I'm sure you'll understand. Afterall, we lost so much time because of you..."

A slow simmering of anger filled Buffy's veins as she raised her eyes to meet his. He was setting her up to fail and she couldn't do a damn thing about it!

Except maybe to become perfection.

She would not give him the opportunity to use that whip on her.

An hour passed during which Buffy valiantly attempted to retain everything that passed from his mouth. Within the first few minutes it had become obvious that Angelus was a learned demon. He knew the entire chapter by memory. Without once glancing down at the book in her lap he could recite all the important facts and dates within any particular section. He could even tell her what page number to look at when he had a particular point to emphasize.

It had become clearly apparent that Angelus was not going to take this opportunity to stray away from his task. Buffy had expected that he would perhaps fondle her or make his sexual demands upon her but he did nothing of the sort. He took his role as tutor very serious-perhaps too serious.

While Buffy strove to pay complete attention to her studies, history was one of her weaknesses. Not because she was incapable of learning it-she was simply bored by it all.

None of which escaped Angelus' attentions.

Any time she slouched or appeared to show the least bit of inattentiveness, Angelus sharply tapped her with the crop. The first time he did it she fairly flew off the couch again to which he barked, "Sit down!"

Rubbing the pinkened skin Buffy had drawn her brows together in a scowl. "You never said anything about using that thing before the quiz!"

"I already warned you. Remember: _Pay attention, I won't have to use this._ "

"That hardly comes under complete disclosure", she huffed.

"Why would I have thought I had to spell everything out for you? Besides, I never expected to tutor a girl who couldn't sit still", he merely replied in an authoratative tone.

Against her pride Buffy made it a point to keep her back ramrod straight, no matter how uncomforable it got.

Turning the page again she forced her ear to listen to the words his smooth voice created. Angelus really had a nice voice. It was soft yet firm without a hint of the normal mockery and malicious joy she ususally heard. Other than his rigid enforcement of discipline she would have been able to forget who he really was.

A sharp sting slashed across her thigh causing Buffy to jerk in surprised pain. She would have almost been able to forget except for things like that.

"Repeat what I just said Buff."

Slowly lifting her head up in resentment Buffy queried, "What?"

Crossing his arms in irritation Angelus suggested, "Don't make me repeat myself again."

Letting out a short huff of breath Buffy repeated, "In 1958, a peasant revolt known as the _Jacquerie_ broke out in northern France. It was a revolt of desperation that was also linked to political ambitions of townspeople in Paris. Many were upset by the continual ravages being suffered by the French and English armies during the Hundred Years' War. Another complaint that fueled the revolt were the failed attempts to limit monarchical power."

"The peasants' fury became exhibited in the burning of castles and murdering of nobles. Unfortunately for this burdened sector of people, the _Jacquerie_ soon failed. The noble class ended the revolt by closing ranks and quickly exterminated the rebels."

A smug sense of accomplishment made Buffy allow Angelus to see the gloating in her eyes. She could not have done better than if she really cared about the _Jacquerie_.

Angelus nodded his head and murmured, "Good, very good. That was excellent as a matter of fact-but only excellent. Not perfect."

"Excuse me?" Her pleased smile faltered as she felt some of her smugness melt away.

Boring his eyes into hers Angelus replied, "I've already explained what I expect from you Buff. In case there is any confusion on your part let me explain it one more time: I expect and demand perfection from you."

"It was perfect" she hotly defended.

False regret caused Angelus to shake his head in pained sorrow. "No it wasn't. The _Jacquerie_ occurred in _1358_ not _1958_."

Shifting uncomfortably Buffy said, "I never said 1958."

"Yes you did." Angelus dropped his hand down to his side, the black crop slyly capturing Buffy's full attention.

"No I didn't!" Her eyes followed every movement of his hand, somehow knowing that he was going to strike and not with any of the light pressure of before.

"Unlike you, I paid attention to every word that was said. You, my dear, clearly said 1958."

Chewing on her lip she struggled to try to recall what she had just repeated to him. She couldn't have said 1958, she knew she couldn't have! Thinking back she could hear her bored voice in the confines of her mind. _In 1958, a peasant revolt..._

Her eyes flew up to his as she said, "Well I meant 1358!"

"And I meant what I said earlier." Walking to the other side of Buffy he sat down on the couch.

A sheen of moisture dotted her brow as she watched him prepare himself for whatever perversity he planned.

"You said after the sections!" To her own ears she could hear her voice rise in pitch, the nervousness clear to any who heard.

"That was the end of the last section."

Buffy's gaze flew down to the book in her hand, wanting to accuse him of lying. Unfortunately what Angelus said was true-it was the end of her chapter.

"You can't go backwards."

"Says who?"

"Me!"

"I'm the tutor and I say I quiz you any way I want." Patting his lap he instructed, "Now I want you to pull your shorts down, including your panties, and lay over my legs."

A flood of hot angry color flooded Buffy. She could feel it suffuse her entire face and even spread down to her neck. Stumbling to her feet she shook her head while saying, "No way. I am NOT going to let you do that!"

A mean hard light entered Angelus' dark eyes. Clenching his hand around the handle of the crop he softly warned, "The longer you take the harder I'll hit."

"I don't care! I WILL NOT do it!"

"Slayer, how often do I have to prove to you that if you pit yourself against me, you'll lose?" Reaching out with one hand he allowed the tip of the crop to teasingly caress Buffy's bare thigh. Smugly he laughed when she shifted back. The low laugh sent shivers throughout her body; in unconscious defense Buffy crossed her arms in front of her.

Silently she warred within herself as the truth of his unanswered question hung heavily in the air. Time and time again she fought against him and herself-and lost. Looking at him across the small distance she read the anticipation in his face. He enjoyed her fighting him as much as he detested it.

No, he did not so much enjoy the fight as the eventual capitulation.

As hard as she fought him over this, in the end Angelus would have his way.

Buffy's throat grew dry and her heartbeat rapidly increased its rhythm as she stared at him. A slow sensual smile spread across Angelus' face when the sound of her heart reached him. "I'm glad you finally came to a decision Buff. Now quickly lover, do as I asked."

With heavy steps Buffy trudged her way towards him. Pausing at his side she felt her stomach twist with fear and an elusive feeling of something she could not understand. Bending at the waist she began to shift herself over him when he stopped her. "This is not doing as I asked Buff."

Her gaze fled to his face as a fiery blush settled across her cheeks. He wanted her to pull down her shorts and then her...

"I-I can't do t-that" she softly babbled in panicked embarressment.

"I'm not asking you-I'm telling you." Angelus' voice hardened with a hushed fury, his patience over her relunctance suddenly at an end.

Hating herself for the words that came out of her mouth Buffy entreated, "Please Angelus...I'm not ready."

"We have a long night ahead of us lover and I'd like to get our duties over with as quickly as possible. The more you make me wait, the more I'll use this afterwards." He leisurely held the crop in front of her, watching her eyes grow dark with understanding.

"Afterwards?", she cautiously asked.

"Tonight at my home."

Buffy's eyes filled with unwanted tears. How could her body leap with anticipation at the thought of laying beneath him in that enormous silk and satin clad bed? Angrily wiping them away she flung her head back and stated, "I can't."

"You can't what?"

"Afterwards. I've got patrol-"

"No you don't."

"The hell I don't. I've got a job to do here Angelus. You don't like it-tough. Just because we _play_ ," the stress on that last word verbalized Buffy's disgust for Angelus' penchant for games, "doesn't mean that the Hellmouth is on timeout."

Tilting his head back Angelus quickly said, "You're off limits to any resident vampires Buff, surely you've figured that out." He ended his statement by pinning her with his cold gaze.

"So that's why it's been so quiet."

"Yeah. No big mystery there, huh Slayer? I can't have anyone else coming between me and my prize, can I?" Flexing the crop between his hands Angelus felt such fury that Buffy was continuing to defy him. Temptation beckoned him to simply pull her across his lap and deliver a blow that would break her skin but patience bade him to wait her out.

What force could accomplish was nothing compared to what freedom could. His taming of the Slayer would be through her-he would merely be the creature that guided it all. For this reason it was imperative for Buffy to deliver herself to him.

The Slayer's humiliation would never be felt more strongly than if she knew she had placed herself under his stern hand.

If she wanted to talk, then they would talk. For now. Once he had subtlely brought her across to his passions, then any disobedience by her would be dealt with harshly. Until then he must go carefully with Buffy...

Relaxing his hands Angelus put his feet up on the coffee table while playing with the end of the crop fully knowing Buffy could not help but watch it-despite her fear.

"So you told your vamps to stay back, right? I thought you didn't want anyone to know about us."

That fully captured his attention. "Explain."

Moving across the room Buffy sat down on an armchair, hoping that she had at least turned Angelus away from thoughts of twisted punishment. The terseness of his one word betrayed the noncholant position of his body. Shrugging she said, "Hellmouth, vampires, and Slayer. It's a trio here, now you've made it a duet-Hellmouth, Slayer, but no vampires. Giles wants to know why."

The Watcher. He hadn't put much thought into how he would have kept things in their proper order concerning Buffy's watcher. Yet another reason why he could not allow his passions to control him. Declaring the Slayer his sole kill had not been the wisest decision simply because he had not thought of all the possibilities or the ramifications to the humans in her life.

Why hadn't he taken careful consideration of any and all scenarios?

Because he had made that decision while his emotions were running high. It had been a bad move on his part. Without vampires to slay his human lover did not make much of a Slayer; there could be no surprise that the Englishman would want to know why.

Rather simple yet he had not thought of it then.

Now it would appear that he had a mess to clean up. He could not go back on his decree, Spike would not send traitors after Buffy often enough-what to do?

Sighing Angelus leaned his head back against the couch. Human women provided much comfort, much sustenance, much problems. He would find a way to rectify the situation. Later. Tonight he had much more pleasant things to attend to and Buffy was not going to turn him away from the few pleasures he had in life.

Buffy watched him. He sat so quietly that he appeared to have forgotten her presence completely. She was not fooled. He would not let her get away without paying his outrageous price of one strike. She knew that. Fighting Angelus would still end with him getting his way. She knew that also. Thus she was almost ready to give in.

Almost...

"You know I love it when you try to get out of doing my will."

There he went.

Silently she waited for Angelus to finish. She didn't have to wait long. "You know why?" Slanting her a look he paused for her to answer him.

Buffy merely blinked.

"C'mon, aren't you the least bit curious?"

"I'm sure I can guess", she stated dryly.

"I LOVE it because when you finally do what I want, you hurt more. No matter how hard you try to hide it, it's all there in your face babe-and it just makes me want to hurt you harder."

Buffy swallowed thickly at his reasonings.

Force would avail him a paltry token of response.

Angelus had to remind himself once again the truth of this in dealing with the Slayer. Where threats failed, seduction could not.

"Isn't it humiliating to constantly lose to me Buffy?" The words were so gently spoken, even the full use of her name rolled off so sweetly from his tongue. Warily Buffy relaxed her body just a tiny bit, instinctually responding to the softness of his tone.

"I've already told you lover: you can choose how to end this night. It's all within your hands, why fight me darling? By resisting me like this, you only give me pleasure and ensure yourself of none. However, if you choose to gracefully give yourself over..."

The pause hung heavily in the air, allowing it to insinuate itself throughout Buffy's consciousness.

"If you give yourself over to me, I'll give you such pleasure that you will weep from the sheer magnitude of it."

Buffy's mouth opened slightly at the seductive quality of Angelus' voice. It was so hauntingly beautiful, this world that he painted with only a few words. Again Buffy knew she would eventually give in, so why continue to fight if it gave him such joy?

Besides, it wouldn't hurt much. She could and had taken much worse pain than the thin crop could ever hope to produce. The only blow of anguish would be to her pride.

However, it was those blows that took the longest to heal.

The longer she took the more he would enjoy hurting her. Watching Angelus watch her, Buffy gave herself over to the inevitable. There could really be no pleasure in this for her, that much she was sure of. While she had experienced some ecstacy within the pain before with him, it had been a totally different situation. Then they had been having sex. Now was just a show of dominance without sex.

No there would be no pleasure in this.

Angelus was lying. She would just have to grit her teeth and bear it. That and make sure she did not give him the opportunity to use it again.

The last bit of Buffy's resistance forced itself to say with its dying breath, "Ego much?"

Not giving him time to retaliate verbally Buffy marched over to him, pushed his legs off of her coffee table, pulled down her shorts and panties and laid herself across his lap. With eyes clenched she waited for him to finish the distasteful task.

She waited and waited. And then waited some more.

The moments passed by in tense anticipation, eventually making Buffy aware of many things. She became aware of the hum of the heater and the distant ticking of a clock. She became aware of the hard thigh muscles encased in smooth black fabric beneath her naked stomach. She became aware of the quickening of her breath that caused a strand of hair to tickle her nose.

She became aware of how vulnerable and alone she felt.

When Angelus ran the tips of his fingers across the bare flesh of her bottom she nearly let out a strangled gasp. A warmth spread throughout her body, replacing the coldness of duty there. His fingers trailed back and forth from cheek to cheek until finally delving lower. Slowly they made their way to the lips that hid herself from him.

Restlessly she shifted across his lap, her stomach tight and achy with tension, resentment, and most of all-anticipation.

Teasingly they parted her bit by bit before leaving to return to her bottom. Not a sound was made by Angelus, nor a movement made by his body except for the fingers that continuously plucked and petted Buffy.

Unknowingly the throes of awakened passion began to control her until thoughts of punishment were far away. Finally she felt his fingers travel down their familiar path again until this time they entered her warm, moist body.

Buffy arched her back slightly as a pleasured mewl escaped from her dry lips. In and out his fingers entered her. First one, then two, then three. When one fingertip temptingly caressed the small pearl of flesh that dictated her woman's pleasure, she gasped out his name.

She could feel the beginnings of an orgasm build within her body as she writhed and bucked on his lap. Angelus' silence only enflamed her, a part of her wanting him to partake of the sexual hunger she was experiencing and another part of her thankful that she could feel this without his mocking continence over her.

Face down she could pretend that there was nothing wrong here.

When Buffy felt another touch upon her back she clenched her eyes shut as she arched her back. It was smooth to the touch, cold to the skin. The crop. She was so far gone to the pursuit of ecstacy that she could only feel a momentary sense of unease but even that was gone quickly. The crop soothed her muscles, teased and taunted the skin with its silky glide.

Biting her lip to keep her cries silent Buffy arched her hips back against his fingers. She was so close, so very close. One more stroke...

"Yes...oh yes...", she panted brokenly.

There! The throes of orgasm stiffened her body as wave after wave of mind-numbing sensation captured and stole Buffy away from herself.

 _Whoosh!_

The crack of leather against bare flesh orchestrated obscenely with the music of Buffy's soft cries. Her eyes flew open as the heat spread throughout her body, joining mysteriously with the joyous pulsings of her orgasm.

The pain became enhanced by her body's peak or perhaps her body's peak became enhanced by the pain. Buffy did not know as she moaned brokenly against Angelus' knee. Finally the end of her spasms faded, leaving her limp, tired, and bewildered.

She only wanted to sleep now and ignore the frightening yet exhiliarating sensations of moments past.

Angelus had different plans.

"Get up now Buff. We still have a long way to go", he brusquely ordered.

Feeling herself being pushed upright she awkwardly pulled up her clothing before flopping back on the couch. Finding him with her eyes she had to draw her breath in several times before inanely saying, "H-how...I mean what..."

Standing over her once more Angelus smoothly instructed, "Compose yourself quickly lover. We have a long chapter to go over and at this rate we'll be up ALL night." He appeared completely unaffected by the mind-numbing act that had Buffy all out of sorts.

Blinking heavily Buffy attempted to focus on history once more.

"Now the great famine of 1315 to 1317 occurred in what part of Europe?"

Several moments passed as she sleepily sought to fight off the lethargy that had possessed her body. She had expected a small amount of pain to her body. She had expected a large amount of pain to her pride.

She never expected the exquisite sensations of feeling that Angelus had wrought for her.

"I'm waiting Buff."

Tilting her head to the side Buffy attempted to say the answer. Numbly she murmured, "Southern." As soon as the word crossed her lips she knew she was wrong.

Sighing heavily he replied, "Northern." Seating himself back down on the couch Angelus said, "You've earned yourself another stroke Buff."

Settling herself back over him Buffy did not dare to probe too deeply on why she had said, "Southern."

Sliding onto her stomach Buffy began to feel her breathing come under control. Her hair was in a hopeless tangle and her back and bottom burned with its own heat. The deliciously cool satin sheets felt wonderful to her oversensitized senses.

Angelus lay on his back next to her, his hand occasionally squeezing a blistered cheek. Each time he did such Buffy's breath hitched much to his delight.

Their tutoring session had continued for another two hours before Angelus was finally satisfied with her progress. She had felt the sharp sting of the crop six more times, each time while experiencing an orgasm.

Afterwards he bade farewell to her mother, who had never again left her office after that first time, and let himself out the front door.

She had come to him an hour later.

The hunger of his demands called forth an equal response from Buffy, despite the initial pain of being there. When her eyes had fallen upon the table she could barely bring the memory back before Angelus roughly picked her up and carried her to his bedroom.

They had not made it there immediately.

Growling fiercely Angelus had shoved Buffy against the wall and quickly pulled off her clothes. Within minutes they were both panting with sexual pleasure.

Their carnal delights had lasted for hours in a variety of positions and situations.

He had used the crop on her during much of the time and she had loved it. The intensity of his increasingly harder hits had done nothing to diminish her passion. In fact, with each successive experience Buffy had sobbed aloud with the exquisite joy that came from the prickling pain and the prickling pleasure.

Now that the passion had cooled Buffy began to feel a prickling of a different sort.

Those of tears.

There was no mind control on his part. She had tested him and he had proven it to her. When she had accused him of it earlier Angelus had merely laughed at her ignorance. There had yet to be a time in recorded history that a vampire had been able to place mental suggestions in a Slayer's mind.

When she had challenged him on that point he had replied, "Tonight when I made your mother see a stain that did not exist, I was trying to make you believe it too. You didn't because I can't control mind like that. But there are other ways between you and I..."

Eloquently Angelus had shown her what he meant. With his hands, mouth, fingers, cock, and leather.

The pull between them was all too real to be other than a physical bonding of the body and he had proved that as well. Turning her face into the pillow Buffy let loose to the cries that shrieked in her heart, not caring that he would know.

Angelus heard the muted sobs that she gave and smirked. With slitted eyes he continued to stroke her back with the tips of his fingers. Now would be the perfect time to gloat but he remained silent. The beauty of her earlier sobs could only be surpassed by the raw anguish and shame heard now.

Angelus felt supreme satisfaction in his little lover's grief for he had taken another piece of her away from Angel, and now that piece belonged solely to him.

Reaching for her Angelus turned Buffy's stiff body towards him and patiently waited for her to relax against him, enjoying the music of her increasingly louder sobs. She hated him, she loathed him, yet she sought some tiny measure of comfort from him.

Purring with depraved pleasure Angelus licked away her salty tears...


	24. Chapter 24

Buffy gingerly rolled to her side. She could feel her back healing, the red, striated skin fusing into a picture of health and vitality again. Her breath came back to her much more slowly, her lungs expanding and contracting until eventually she regained the ability to breathe normally. The sweat of cooling passion dried rapidly, causing several tendrils of Buffy's hair to stick to her temples.

Stretching her legs in the enormous bed she could hear Angelus moving across the room, the hushed pads of his feet barely making a whisper of sound as he readied the fireplace. Closing her eyes Buffy relived each decadent moment of the past hour. Although it had only been the night before since her _tutoring session_ Buffy felt as if the new aspect of their carnal relationship was not really new at all.

Angelus had taught her much more than European history and politics. He had taught her to revel in the seamless edges between desire and pain. He had shown her that agony can go far beyond the torture of the flesh. He had convinced her that _pain_ was just as compelling a reason to find ecstacy than pleasure itself.

Clutching the edge of the sheet to her chest Buffy once more rolled again to her back. She halfway expected to feel a searing sting possess her skin but she felt nothing. Her back was completely healed. Softly sighing she ran a hand through the sticky hair at her temple, her eyes trained upon the fabric-covered ceiling of Angelus' bed as she raised her knees up.

 _The night before when she wept in his arms and he licked the tears from her face, Buffy had felt a stirring in her soul that had everything to do with what_ _ **could**_ _have passed for love and yet nothing to do with it. The power of her passions for Angelus had threatened to consume her in that one moment even though she had recognized the act for what it was-an unapologetic display of triumph. Angelus had reveled in what he had reduced her to that night: a writhing, maddened creature who yearned for his touch regardless of how heavy._

 _It was that dark yearning that had sparked the need to test her newly formed limits...and to break them._

 _Time and time again Buffy had laid willingly exposed to Angelus' perverse wishes. With eyes closed and cries spilling from her parted lips she had demonstrated how much she wanted to taste the biting caress of Angelus through his crop. He had fucked her five times with his body and countless times with his being. If the bluntness of this acknowledgement bothered Buffy at all, she needed only to remember the savageness of their joinings to know that to label it as anything else was a lie._

 _And a lie could go only so far when faced with it in the confines of one's mind..._

 _Many times Buffy had expected Angelus himself to force her to the point of breaking yet he never did._

 _He didn't even try._

 _That was why the stirring in her soul couldn't have had anything to do with love. How could she have felt love for a vampire that wanted to break her at his own leisurely pace? How could she have felt love for herself when Buffy knew that Angelus couldn't do ANY of this without her shameful cooperation?_

 _How could she love the way that twisted piece of leather in his hand made her feel?_

 _Regardless, something powerful had flamed within Buffy, even if it had no real name, which caused her to roughly grab Angelus by the face. His eyes had sparked with anger when she rolled him onto his back. His hands had settled tightly on her shoulders, ready to push her back into a submissive position when their eyes locked. Whatever he saw made the corner of his mouth lift as his hands moved from her shoulders down to her hips._

 _When their bodies joined again Buffy had desperately prayed that her hatred for their passion showed in the roughness of her downward thrusts. Every night spent with him had taken Buffy further and further into disgrace. She could barely look her friends in the face, barely look her Watcher in the eye, knowing how far she would continue to fall._

 _She could_ _ **barely look herself**_ _in the mirror and she still weeks to go before her fateful prophesy with Acrymydion..._

 _Even then,_ _ **especially then**_ _, when her lower body relentlessly impaled itself over and over again could she barely think about who she was, much less why she was there. Buffy could only feel the stain of self-hatred slowly yet steadily grow wider and wider..._

 _That invisible pool of dishonor seemed to have taken even more of Buffy when she had looked down and fallen into the mirroring depths of Angelus' own hatred for herself, gleaming hotly in the glow of his amber eyes..._

Shaking herself from her reverie Buffy lifted up her arm to check her watch. The time read 12:42. It would be another night with only a few hours of sleep before school. Turning her head on the pillow Buffy stared at where Angelus had laid not too long before. Other than the impersonal words of sex not much had been said between Angelus and herself.

Regardless of her despicable willingness to be here this night she could not shake off the virginal shame of discovering this new part of her desires. The less Angelus said to her, the better. Angelus. Rolling to her side again Buffy stared hard at the pillow that had so recently supported Angelus' dark head. He hadn't really taunted her with anything this evening. Despite the harshness of their sexual activities, he had been rather subdued.

And for a vampire like Angelus being subdued was close to being kind.

Hesitatingly her hand hovered above the pillow. Tonight she had yet to see any hint of madness coiling in the depths of his ebony gaze. Instead they had raked her naked flesh with scorching lust. Tonight she had yet to witness the smoldering fury oftentimes directed viciously towards herself. Instead, in the depths of her violent rejoicings she had seen the intense pleasure shine in his eyes, eyes that danced between the blackest of nights and the purest of gold.

Buffy knew that her gradually uninhibited displays of sexual completion had pleased him.

Staring into the darkness Buffy suddenly heard Angelus' footsteps soundlessly leave the room. Soundless they were but she heard them nonetheless. Closing her hand into a fist Buffy whipped it away from the abandoned pillow. Good. He was gone. Kindness was not an emotion she was going to even begin to contemplate him having. Sitting up in the bed Buffy tugged on the sheet until she felt it give way. Gathering it around her body with one hand she swung her feet off the bed while parting the loosened bed curtains with the other one.

Despite the fact that Angelus was down the hall she could still hear him. Even though he was not within her sight Buffy could picture his movements clearly. He always walked like the predator he was: fluidly, powerfully, but most of all, silently. The fact that Buffy could hear him reminded her of how he had drunk from her twice already and shared her blood with a forceful kiss from his lips.

 _Each time their tongues had dueled in passionate frenzy and Buffy tasted the oddly sweet liquid she had felt her body becoming drunk with power. She had been able to see a reflection of herself in Angelus' obsidian eyes, this time reflecting herself and his own drunkeness. With each blood-letting the sparkle in his eyes flashed more and more while his skin had assumed a slightly paler hue. Instead of making him look ghastly, the subtle changes had the exact opposite-in Buffy's eyes he only looked more and more beautiful._

 _The giddy effect of their blood exchanges threatened to overwhelm her everytime she felt his smallest touch, everytime she heard his cruel laughter. After the second letting Buffy had laid naked on the floor, the colors of the room spinning and spinning until she had closed her eyes from the sheer detail of her vision. Even then she could hear the world in slyly innocent whispers, telling her its secrets._

 _Angelus had simply laughed when she spoke her thoughts out loud. "Be careful Buff-you're beginning to sound like Dru", was all that he had said to her. Buffy was caught in a cat-like arch of her back when his words had drifted through the others crowding her mind. The mention of the mad vampiress tore through her, the desire to slay Drucilla no longer just because of duty. Angelus, sensing Buffy's growing anger, then scooped her up and roughly tossed her back in the bed, covering her body with his own hard, naked one._

Remembering the sinful ecstasy she had found at his touch sparked a craving within Buffy. She needed to put emotional distance between her desires and her conscious will. In order to do that Buffy had to put physical distance between her desire and her _weakening_ will. She wanted to get home and if Angelus hadn't already caught the scent of her growing desire-he soon would.

Quickly she glanced about the room, seeing the opulent surroundings still with a bit of awe. Angelus had stoked up the fire until now it was voraciously feasting upon the dried, dead wood. The frenzied lapping of flames cast much light and heat around the fireplace while throwing the rest of the room in darkened shadows. Her brow wrinkled slightly as she wondered in passing _I thought all vampires were afraid of fire._

Walking towards the bathing room Buffy could hardly stir any real surprise that if Angelus felt any dread at all, he would still force himself to keep a fire around. That was what made him so powerful. While others of his species ran from their fears, Angelus insolently confronted them.

The dragged end of the bedsheet made a softly slithering sound as Buffy made her way to the small antechamber. Remembering what had transpired in the room earlier in the week made her keep the room dark, not wanting to see the paneled wall and knowing what was behind it. Pushing the button she only had to wait a moment before the door opened.

Glancing up she could see the midnight black painted with the tiny chips of faraway stars through the skylights. Flipping on a series of lights Buffy dropped the bedsheet and walked towards the other end of the room. She needed to find sleep in her own bed but not before taking a bath. Standing before the enormous bathing pool she could feel the stickiness of Angelus' lifeless seed and her own wetness clinging to the inside of her thighs. The exertions of the night had left layers of sweat on her body and her hair was tangled at her nape from rubbing up and down on the bed.

Walking about it Buffy tried to find the faucets. She thought they would have been in the normal spot all faucets were, but the smooth blue marble resided there alone. Finally she spied three gold buttons gleaming brightly on the ledge that lined the back of the pool. Pressing on one she heard a faint thud. Looking into the empty surface Buffy could see nothing that would have caused the noise. Shrugging she pressed another button, this time the one on the left. Immediately she could hear the loud gurgling of pressurized water shooting out.

Leaning forward she saw the water bursting forth from the sides of the pool. Testing the temperature with her fingertips Buffy winced. The water was scalding. Pushing down on the other button she did not have to wait long before hearing the cold water. Testing the temperature again she felt that the water was still too hot. Glancing back down at the buttons she decided to push down for the cold again. This time when she checked the water Buffy was satisified.

Stepping into the pool Buffy leaned her head against the edge while resting her body on another ledge, this time one that lined the bottom. Despite the size she could see that the pool would be filled quickly by the amount of water shooting inside it. Buffy could feel herself giving over to the heat of the bath as goosebumps erupted all over her body.

When she realized that she had forgotten to bring any shampoo or soap Buffy softly groaned. Finding her feet she carefully stepped out of the tub and padded her way to one of the larger cabinets that lined the bottom half of the front wall. Bending down Buffy opened up the door and quickly scanned for the shampoo and conditioner she had used the night before. Soon spotting them she lifted the bottles out and set them on the floor before searching for a bar of soap.

Biting her lower lip Buffy closed the door with a small _thud_. There was no soap in this cabinet. She thought she saw him get it from this one last night. She had forgotten to get the soap then as well, assuming from habit that it would be where she needed it. Angelus had been the one to bring it to her, when he then proceeded to thoroughly wash her body with firm, slippery strokes...

Flushing from the raw memories that assaulted her brain Buffy suddenly stood up. It was a sickness-the way she hungered for him, the way she could hardly keep him from invading her mind-it was a sickness! She was looking for soap, nothing fancy, just soap and the next thing she knew-bam! There he was-in her mind.

Exhaling deeply Buffy laid her hands on the counter when she saw the large wooden chest. It hadn't been there the night before. Curiosity bade her to open it while a sense of deeply ingrained manners made her feel that she hadn't the right. Quickly curiosity won out-but not before she looked over her shoulder. The room was still empty.

Examining the outside of the chest she observed that although it looked like it could accomodate a lock, it did not have one. It simply had a latch that could easily be flipped up. Placing the tips of her fingers on the middle of the lid Buffy pushed it up and immediately smiled in delight when a waft of pleasurable scents enveloped her.

Inside were numerous daintily wrapped soaps in a variety of exquisite packaging. Picking up an ivory colored circle Buffy held it to her nose and breathed in deeply. Jasmine-one of her favorites. Putting it down on the counter she peered inside again, letting her fingers sift through the bath salts, powders, and gels with delight. They were all pretty, feminine products without a single male scent to be found.

Which meant...

Pulling back slightly Buffy frowned while wondering were they for her? But why?

What was it that Angelus had said to her the night before while bathing her? Or actually while holding her from behind, his tongue tasting her even while his cock slowly entered her body...

Feeling a tightening in her gut Buffy quickly heard his words echoing in memory...

 _I like the way you smell Buff but I think you could be far more sweeter..._

Which meant that these were for her to use. Buffy had a moment of disquiet. There was a part of her that distrusted what this meant if she used the things he wanted her to. It was as if it were another way for Angelus to make her into something of his own making. First soap but then what else?

Looking back down at the lone tissue-covered package on the counter Buffy wryly smiled. She was being entirely too flaky. It was just a bar of soap. Besides, wouldn't the time to have issues about her position here have been last week? Or when he almost turned her? Or maybe Sunday when...

Buffy's thoughts ground to a halt. It was just a bar of soap. Scooping up the plastic bottles on the floor, a large glass container of bath salts, and the jasmine scented soap Buffy went back to her bath. She had forgotten that the water was still running so her feet carried her back to the pool much more quickly than they started to.

Setting down all her supplies Buffy saw that the water was approaching near the top. Oh hell...how did she turn off the water? Before she could begin to start pressing buttons the water suddenly stopped. Quickly looking over her shoulder Buffy halfway expected Angelus to be standing there but she was alone. Shrugging she uncorked the bath salts and dumped nearly half the bottle in. At home she wouldn't have been so extravagant but since she wasn't home...

Gingerly placing one foot in the water Buffy sighed with pleasure. Soon she had both legs submerged in the delicious water. Making sure her shampoo, conditioner, and soap were close at hand Buffy settled herself back on the deep ledge. She softly groaned in delight. The water was just hot enough to awaken her skin but without causing her to break into a sweat.

Letting her arms float Buffy wondered what Angelus was doing. He hadn't said anything to her before sliding out of bed, he had just slapped her bottom with enough force to make her yelp. Stretching out an arm Buffy lifted the soap from the pool's ledge. A few sure tears had the soap uncovered and in her hand. Lazily she soaped herself, washing the sweat and smell of sex off her body. The smoothness of the soap felt so nice against her skin. Buffy smiled as the wonderful scent of jasmine wrapped itself around her.

When she brought the small disk down between her legs Buffy felt a tiny jolt of pleasure. Her mouth opened slightly when she did it again. It felt really good. She was just washing herself as she did all the time, but now it felt different. She found her hand straying back again and again to where only Angel and Angelus had touched her. Buffy lay in the water unsure of how she had arrived to this point.

Masturbation. One of the things that she had yet to really do.

All the information now assured that masturbation was a healthy part of functioning. Many books were devoted to the theory that people should not be ashamed of touching themselves in pleasure.

She agreed wholeheartedly-even though she personally did not do it.

Moving her hand out of the water Buffy placed the jasmine soap along side the shampoo. She wasn't ashamed, well maybe just a little, but masturbation just never seemed to fit into her nightly rountines-that's why she never did it. That's all. Staring ahead Buffy watched as the steam rose in wafts from the surface of the water. Her heart was pounding while her body was tight and achy.

She felt unfulfilled.

 _There's no reason not to try it now._

Glancing down she could see her thighs spread slightly, while her curls contrasted sharply against the rest of her skin. Biology must have designed it such-now that she was aroused again she couldn't seem to look away.

Swallowing thickly Buffy ducked her head under the water. Coming up with eyes squinted and cheeks flushed she pushed her hair off her face before efficiently shampooing her hair. Massage, rub, rinse. She WAS NOT uncomfortable with masturbation. She just needed to get home and get into bed by herself. By herself...alone...where no one could see...

 _It's not a bad thing to do. It's not like you'll go blind or anything._

Sitting up straighter Buffy reached out a hand, opened the conditioner, squirted a large dollop onto her palm, and then slapped it onto her hair. Quickly rubbing it throughout she didn't even give it a chance to set in before dunking herself under the water again. It was time to get out.

 _Or time to get off._

Placing her hands on the side of the pool Buffy thought to herself _Okay, time to get off...I mean out!_ A moment passed and then another as she simply sat there. Her body felt so achy, she just needed release. Sliding back down into the pool Buffy again entertained thoughts of self-pleasure.

She was so aroused all it would take would be a few strokes of her fingers. Angelus did it to her often enough, she should be able to mimic what he did.

Glancing across the room she checked to see if she were truly alone. No Angelus.

 _C'mon Buffy...it's no biggie_ she thought to herself. With heart pounding she moved her hand under the water. Lightly touching her curls Buffy experienced a thrill of pleasure. Parting herself with one finger she ran the tip of her finger down against her clit. Arching slightly she found her breath coming harder even as her eyes slitted shut and the strong scent of jasmine drifted about her. Opening her eyes she looked across the room to make sure she was still alone.

Buffy shivered when she allowed her fingers to trace down the outside of her labia. Twisting her shoulders she heard herself begin to pant in anticipation. She was doing it. She was masturbating.

Feeling the water lap against her Buffy spread her legs wider. It felt wonderful. Thoughts of past carnal pleasures rose sharply in her mind as her fingers began to insistently stroke faster.

She thought about the taste of Angelus in her mouth, of the way he felt in her throat.

She thought about the feeling of Angelus being inside her, of the way he pulled her hair.

She thought about the way it felt to orgasm against Angelus, of the way he struck her harder.

She thought about the way it would feel for Angelus to take her in that secret, forbidden place, of the way he would surely stretch her.

Gasping Buffy pulled her hand away. Breathing heavily she glanced about the room, feeling disoriented. Pushing her hair back off her face she immediately brought her legs together. She couldn't go through with it, not with thinking about _that_ kind of sex.

"Aww, c'mon Slayer. Just when things were getting interesting..."

The smoothly mocking voice of Angelus struck Buffy like a slap. Twisting quickly she heard the water slosh in the pool as she scanned the room. It was empty.

Two bright spots of color stained Buffy's cheeks as she wondered where he was. His voice sounded so clear, at least to her oversensitized senses. Just how long had he been watching? Standing up she made to get out of the pool when she heard a chastising sound come from above. "I don't think so Buff. Sit down."

Still standing Buffy finally found her voice. "Where are you?"

A chuckle echoed throughout the room. She could hear a deep sigh being exhaled before, "Does it matter? Besides, you looked as if I was the last one on your mind. Why stop Slayer when you were so close?"

Feeling so ashamed at being caught Buffy mumbled, "I-I don't know what you mean." She felt so exposed, so naked beyond the physical. She just wanted to cover herself. Lifting a leg to step out of the pool she was immediately whipped by a curt, "DON'T!"

Freezing at the lethalness of the command Buffy wildly wondered at where Angelus could be. He could obviously see her, talk to her, order her about-so where was he? Scanning the room again Buffy saw not a sign of the arrogant vampire. Suddenly she caught the briefest glimmer of light against the ceiling. Focusing her eyes on the tiny spot Buffy's head reared back slightly when she realized what it was.

A camera lens.

Angelus had been watching her with help of a very well hidden camera.

Another chuckle echoed in the room. "Surprise Baby-you're on tape."

"You pervert!"

A _tsking_ murmur taunted Buffy while she still stood poised for flight. "C'mon darling. It's not a big deal."

"The hell it isn't! I bet it's against the law in all 50 states including California!" Covering her breasts with one arm Buffy looked for a towel while feeling like the biggest fool. To be caught with her hand down there! Remembering that she had forgotten to get one Buffy could either stand there like an idiot or sit back in the water. She decided to get out of her bath whether Angelus liked it not. Stepping out of the pool she quickly rushed towards the enormous armoire before pulling out a midnight-blue towel.

"That's not what I mean baby. Why the rush to leave? Are you embaressed?" The last question was asked in the softest of tones, beckoning Buffy to pause while wrapping the towel around her. When Angelus used that tone of voice with her she invariably became completely malleable to his every want.

"I am SO not going to even answer that" she shakily stated while slamming the armoire doors shut. Her wet hair streamed rivulets of water with every step that she took but Buffy did not want to take the time to dry her hair. All she wanted to do was leave.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of Buff. Everyone does it."

 _I'm not listening to you._

"Even I do it."

"Like that's a surprise", she dryly stated out loud.

Another chuckle followed her to the mirror. Pulling open a drawer Buffy grabbed the large brush and began to quickly run the brush through the heavy locks. Wincing when one vicious stroke tugged at a small tangle Buffy heard Angelus say, "Careful there babe or you'll find yourself bald."

Scowling at the ceiling Buffy retorted, "Will you please stop watching me? If you want to look do it in person, otherwise shut the camera off!"

"Miss my presence that much sweet?" A moment passed in silence when Buffy stubbornly refused to respond. "Ahh, don't tell me you don't like my toy darling?"

"No. I don't."

His voice oozed with malicious playfulness as he said, "But it's so much fun!"

Brushing her hair up high Buffy gathered it in one hand. Putting the brush down on the counter she reached for a rubberband when she realized it wasn't there. Frowning Buffy began to think back to where she last had it on when she caught sight of it in the mirror. It was on her wrist. Taking it off she secured her ponytail while remembering when she slipped it on. It had been earlier in the night after Angelus told her to put her hair down.

"I'm still watching." The smirk on his face translated loudly to his annoyingly taunting voice.

"Don't like me ignoring you lover?", Buffy drawled as she put the brush back into the drawer.

"Actually I think you wish I had ignored _you_ , don't you babe? Afterall, if I hadn't said anything you would have already cum-wouldn't you?"

Staring at her reflection in the mirror Buffy watched as the color flushed her face to a pinkish hue.

"Watching isn't so bad Buff." Angelus' voice dropped to a husky growl as he murmured, "Being watched is even better."

Buffy gripped the counter as the wicked shivers ran up her back. She could tell herself that she would not even begin to think about what he was suggesting but it was too late. She WAS thinking about it.

"The pool is still full."

"I bet it's still hot."

Even though she told herself not to glance over her shoulder Buffy did. The brief yet sharp pleasures that she had experienced there beckoned her sinfully. Tearing her gaze away from the still-steaming marble pool Buffy turned back to stare into the mirror.

"I saw how you kept looking towards the doorway..."

Buffy's breath hitched slightly, knowing what he was going to say next.

"I just wonder if you were hoping that I wouldn't be there...or if you were hoping that I would be."

Buffy remembered it as well. She wanted privacy but then again, just the thought of him being there had made the stolen pleasure a little more wicked, a little more sinful. Buffy didn't realize it at the moment but now she knew.

She knew.

"You made me so hard, did you know that Buff?"

 _Oh God._

"I just thought I'd sneak a peek to watch you bathe. Since you snuck into the bath, I figured I'd return the favor. By the way, I hope you liked the soap darling; expect to use it every night."

Buffy remained silent, waiting to hear what other words he would use to tempt her.

"So I watch you. I watch you knowing you don't know. And you know what? I found that I missed it."

"Missed it?", Buffy huskily asked.

"Yes, it. IT was watching you Slayer", Angelus silkily replied.

Buffy's eyes rose, her gaze focusing on the reflection of the nearly-invisible camera. The connection between herself and her lover lay there in the ceiling, keeping them apart but all of sudden, keeping them strangely intimate now.

"Did you know that I watched you for weeks before you became mine? I'd watch you eat dinner with Joyce. I'd watch you laugh at your favorite television program. I'd watch you brush your hair at night. I'd watch you undress. I'd watch you slide those tiny cotton panties off your body, ass towards the window, and you know what I'd swear to if I had a god?"

Lowering her eyes Buffy stared at her reflection and saw her body sway slightly.

"I'd swear that you knew I was there."

Buffy's stomach clenched with fierce hunger. She remembered the nights when she did just that. Slowly her clothes would come off until she was left with nothing but a bra and a pair of underwear. For some nonsensical reason she would take her panties off first, before unclapsing her bra. Normally she undressed the other way but only adopted the practice around the time that she and Angelus began their nightly sparrings.

She did know he was there.

Of course not on a conscious level but in the deepest recesses of herself she KNEW he was perched out there, watching, waiting.

"So I watched you tonight Buff. I watched you soak in my pool, I watched you use my soap, I watched you touch my cunt."

Buffy closed her eyes as the perversity of her desires rose sharply. The last two words should have outraged her, but instead now she felt even more aroused. It could have been because of the throaty possessiveness which he said them but Buffy knew it was something different.

It was because of the sheer rawness of Angelus. _My cunt._

"I wanted it to be my hand that touched you but I found that I liked the sight of your own."

 _My cunt._

"I was disappointed when you stopped Buff. But then you started again..."

A soft sound of desire slipped past Buffy's lips as she gripped the counter even harder.

"I watched as your fingers played as if it were for the first time." A slight pause lay in the room before Angelus softly inquired, "Was it the first time Buff?"

Buffy swallowed to soothe a throat that had suddenly gone dry. She didn't need to answer a question like that.

"Was it baby? Was it the first time you fingered yourself?"

The crudeness of his question did not seem so crude when he spoke in such a soft beguiling voice. Buffy opened her mouth and answered, "Yes."

"Really?" Another silence filtered through the air before being replaced with, "Tonight could be the first time you finished. The water feels so nice, doesn't it lover? You could be there right now. All you have to do is take off your towel...come on Buff-take off the towel."

Breathing shallowly Buffy stared into the mirror, her hands clenched tightly around the cool aqua tile. If she did this, if she could go beyond her embaressment, beyond her rigid shyness, the experience could awaken a world without shame...

With Angelus wickedly leading the way, all with a throaty whisper of lust.

Hesitation seemed silly, didn't it?

The towel slithered to the floor in a small heap.

A murmur of appreciation lent itself to Buffy's ears while a knot twisted itself inside of her.

"Don't be afraid darling."

Her eyes flew to the ceiling, the gentleness of his tone comforting her in a way that had yet to happen in their twisted exchanges.

Biting her lip Buffy could feel her heart pounding in her chest while her arms felt slightly weak. She had faced vicious demons with less fear than she felt right at this moment.

What was more frightening-giving into her own inhibitions or giving into Angelus? As Buffy continued to stare at the ceiling she could not see a difference between the two. She knew what this would be about, and this time she couldn't see any wrongness in it at all. Of course Buffy understood that Angelus wanted to strip away another layer of herself, that he wanted to expose her barriers and crumble them.

But it would be her fingers, her pleasure, her power over them both.

Knowing the lusty creature that he was Buffy wondered how long it would be before he joined her, helpless to stay away from her solitary enjoyments.

Unbeknownst to Buffy her eyes darkened with passion while a tiny smile lifted the corners of her mouth. Letting go of the counter she turned towards the bath, her straightened back arched but only slightly. Nothing in her posture was exaggerated but she walked with a slight sway of her hips while the feminine pride coyly whispered in each step.

Lifting one slender leg Buffy stepped into the pool, sighing again because of the water's delightful heat. Settling herself on the ledge Buffy relaxed her body, allowing her arms to float once more. Angelus had remained quiet for several moments, giving her the privacy of silence. But Buffy knew he was still watching...

Always watching.

"Why do you watch?", she suddenly asked, wanting to break the silence.

A beat of utter absolute before, "Why do you think?"

"No fair-I asked first." Could that actually be her voice, husky with an undercurrent of teasing?

Leaning back in his leather chair Angelus' eyes were riveted on the monitor before him. The youthful face dominated the screen, a fine sheen of moisture already dotting the corners of her temples. The curve of her cheek, the plumpness of her lower lip, the arch of her brow were all alluring in their own right but it was her eyes that fascinated Angelus the most.

Lushly framed by naturally dark lashes they radiated the burgeoning power of her sexuality. So dark in color they almost appeared as black as his own, Buffy's eyes beckoned with an as yet unknown knowledge. Despite the many times he had fucked her, Buffy was still so innocent in so many ways.

Innocence.

Precious to hold, priceless to taint.

Many things the he refused to see drew him to her, aside from their past, but it was her innocence that he saw, that still continued to fascinate him. It had to be. Angelus had been drawn to innocence for centuries-virgins his most valuable prize.

Until they lost their allure and had to be quickly dealt with.

Regardless, it was innocence and the corrupting he orchestrated that he needed the most. Not much had changed between now and then...

Pushing a lever Angelus widened the angle of the camera, putting the rest of Buffy's body in view. Her breasts lay half submerged in the water, the nipples pouting playfully as the water gently lapped against them with each of her movements. Her legs were pressed together from knee to upper thigh while her calves rested far apart. For all appearances Buffy looked a delectable mix between coy siren and bashful virgin.

Returning to her face Angelus could clearly see that the siren was winning. Another piece of innocence gone forever, and yet there was still so much more to be had...

While Buffy had not technically been a virgin, at least not with Angelus' body, her innocence had been undeniable.

With each joining blushes still continued to cover her body, with each successively carnally raw act vulnerability still shined brightly from her eyes. Now that he had taught her a different kind of bite, the deliciousness of her emotions gave him something new to savor.

Each strike of the crop produced a mixture of excitement, nervousness, embaressment, and fear within her young body. Angelus knew it was not just fear of him, at least not yet. It was more a fear of her own nature, her own penchants for pain.

It frightened her and her innocence told her that it was perverted.

With a quiet click of the tiny lever Angelus stared into the eyes of Buffy. Her eyes completely filled the screen, the numerous pixels contrasting against the different shades that composed them. Shifting forward Angelus' pants softly slithered against the leather chair, the black material hugging his lean hips with negligent grace.

He adored her innocence but now he was aroused to an unwanted pitch to see the hints of woman peeking through.

If it was true that the eyes are the windows to the soul Angelus did not know if he trusted what he read in hers.

She wanted to know why he liked to watch.

Taking a drink he waited to feel the alcohol burn, momentarily warming him from the inside. Leaning back in his chair he replayed her voice in his mind, hearing the flirtatiousness beckon him to answer in return.

He was not in the mood.

 _Why do you watch?_

"I like to watch because only then are you real."

Loosely holding the heavy crystal-cut glass of brandy in his hand Angelus did not hear the tiny note of wistfulness in his voice.

Only when they did not know he was there were they ever honest. All their emotions lay open without force, shining and pure-as long as he just watched.

However, once he had them, then the lies came. The promises of love, of enduring loyalty and faithfulness-all lies.

Once he had them beneath him did they hide their emotions, greedily keeping them locked inside the box of their hearts, away from him.

So Angelus was left with no choice but to rip that bloody box apart.

But even then their emotions eluded him for they oftentimes took them into the grave.

"Why are you watching now? I know you're there, so it's not the same."

A torrent of emotions raged inside Angelus yet none could be evidenced in his voice this time. Seductively he said, "Ssh, let's not bore each other with words darling. Instead, why don't you remember the thoughts that made you so hungry for pleasure?"

Her eyes shifted away, lowering so that all he could see was the fan of her lashes. After a few moments Buffy raised them again, staring directly into the camera.

Staring deeply into the image of Buffy's eyes Angelus clenched his jaw tightly. She still refused to let her true feelings show without a fight, she still continued to place a wall between them and him.

So why had he yet to kill her?

Even now the siren continued to stare him down, slowly blinking while the corners of her lids crinkled ever so slightly, mocking him with a growing gleam of confidence.

Taking a larger gulp of brandy this time Angelus screwed his eyes shut as the force of the liquor overtook him. Setting the glass down on the massive mahogany desk with more force than he intended, Angelus remembered other times, other women before her.

Glancing again at the screen he observed the fan of lashes briefly close over Buffy's beautiful eyes before opening once more-this time with a haze of lust softening the clarity of the dark hazel.

Moving the camera lens until the entire pool was on-screen Angelus watched as Buffy began to trail her fingers between her thighs. Aroused against his will Angelus watched not her hand, nor the soft undulations of her hips, but her eyes.

Falling into her eyes Angelus remembered the last time he had seen the mix of innocent power flash in a face so young.

It had been a century ago, when he had first seen her at the local fair. The very same fair that Druscilla had so wanted to go to before he had crushed her throat and locked her in her room.

That had also been the night that had sealed his fate. It had also been the same date that Darla had given him eternity. Fate, it seems, was not and still is not without a reckless sense of irony.

Tonight was the anniversary of his life and death as Angel and Angelus.

 _The laughter was loud and raucous, the lights of arching torches illuminating the night sky in a way that seemingly reflected the mood of those it served. Angelus and Darla elegantly prowled through the crowds, searching face after face in hopes of finding entertainment beyond momentarily quenching the ever-present thirst. The dust swirled around their expensively shod feet yet neither seemed to care. It was a night of enchantment-the flesh surrouding them joyous and free._

 _Fairs drew many from far and wide, beckoning all to shed worries and become happy-even if for one day. Scores of people rubbed shoulder to shoulder; the pronouncement of blooded class holding a smaller importance than usual. Of course the majority of wealthier class still clutched their purses tightly despite the hulking body or bodies that served to guard them, but only tightly-not with the usual strangle hold. Afterall, it was the fair._

 _The local traveling fair brought all manners of flesh to experience in the simple yet overblown delights of sweets, physical tests of strengths, trinkets, fortunes, and dancing._

 _And none held greater promises of entertainment than the gypsies._

 _ **"Angelus, darling, have you yet to find something to...wet your thirst?",**_ _Darla inquired in her casual yet provocative way._

 _Patting her hand once Angelus replied,_ _ **"Only you darling."**_ _Constantly scanning the crowd he felt the chains of ennui begin to restrict him in a way that was not to his liking. He had been beyond bored for the past several weeks and no amount of playing had yet to so much as spark an interest beyond the moment._

 _Darla's visit was doing nothing to soothe his mood. Normally they would have been bedded down someplace, engaged in every licentious act either knew, but for some reason Angelus' cock could not even be bothered to half-erectness._

 _If Darla knew, and he knew damned well that she knew, she carefully hid it well behind her ever-present sinful smile. While a lusty creature she was, Darla had no interest in cajoling an unwilling partner to bed. So all would be well between them on the surface, but Angelus knew better. In return for a case of wounded pique, Darla would most likely make him pay in her own way._

 _Women._

 _Dead or not, they oftentimes caused more problems than pleasure._

 _Like tonight for example._

 _His beautious siress had absolutely no right to interfere with his discipline of Druscilla yet she had been bold enough to do just that. Spoiled, willful creature! Too bad she couldn't be broken by his methods or he'd have had her on her knees as well right now._

 _The problem with Darla was that she enjoyed his firm hand so well that there was no point in using it other than to play._

 _The last they had_ _ **played**_ _had been about 35 years prior. Vastly entertaining to the extreme Angelus and Darla had enjoyed each other's vicious comforts tremendously. However, it had been the last round for them because shortly after he had become quite obsessed with Druscilla._

 _Correctly reading his preoccupation they had parted with no ill will, Darla coyishly tapping him on the arm with her delicately painted fan, admonishing him not to_ _ **"Break this one too quickly."**_ _And with a swish of her skirts and the slam of her carriage door Darla had traveled out of his life until now._

 _Not that he was too surprised by her timing._

 _It had become somewhat of a morbid tradition for her to choose this date to see him. While he too acknowledged the humor of his_ _ **mother**_ _wishing him a dreadfully_ _ **happy birthday**_ _, tonight did not suit him._

 _Moving through the crowd with her at his side Angelus allowed himself the unneeded reaction of sighing. What he needed was something new to enthrall his appetite. Other than a few here and there, there had been no real obsession to engage him-at least one worth remembering. He would not count his little Austrian from the year before because she was quite easily forgotten._

 _Vampiresses there were plenty, but even the most talented could not reproduce what even the simplest peasant before him could: real, honest emotion._

 _So he scanned, symbolically feeding what he could from those around him when he saw her._

 _She stood on a platform, proudly walking back and forth, ignoring the lustier of catcalls even while her body subtlely spoke of pleasure. Her luscious, thick black hair hung loosely to her waist, the ebony of her locks contrasting beautifully against her multicolored skirt. The shirt that she wore would have been classified as immodest by outsider standards but the cut signified her innocent status amongst her own._

 _Angelus felt the chains that had been holding him down break free. She was incredible. She was going to be his._

 _He had found at last what he had been searching for._

 _So engrossed was he that he did not notice when Darla's hand slipped from his arm, although he dimly heard what happened next._

 _Feeling a bump against her hip Darla slowly turned her head to look at the offender. A youth of no more than 18 years tugged his forelock and quickly apologized in the local dialect,_ _ **"Forgive me mistress! I did not mean to offend you. It was my own clumsiness that caused it. Forgive me!"**_

 _Regally peering up at the roughly handsome face Darla allowed a devastingly sweet smile curve her lips. Angelus may be too preoccupied to pay her due attention, but she just found a replacement._ _ **"Clumsy? I think not."**_

 _Hearing his own language spoken flawlessly by the beautiful blonde woman the young lad immediately felt his heart leave from his chest to rest at the stranger's feet. The perfection of her face, the kindness in her eyes-she was truly an angel from heaven. She did not look at him with scorn, like those of her kind normally did. In fact, she did not even seem to notice his swarthy complexion or the poorness of his clothes._

 _Warily he glanced at the powerfully dark man next to her, knowing he had to be her husband._

 _Knowing the obvious thoughts that were going through his naive head Darla turned to Angelus and said in musically sweet voice,_ _ **"I shall see you later tonight I trust?"**_

 _Not wanting to look away from his newest obsession, Angelus merely grunted,_ _ **"Yes."**_

 _Making his way through the crowd he finally stood before the makeshift stage, watching the magnificent creature call out,_ _ **"Come now sirs! Surely one of you is bold enough to match your impressive strength with Marco the Merciless!"**_

 _Marco was a great heavily muscled beast of a man with arms the size of tree trunks. He silently stalked across the stage, flexing his arms with great flare and cunning-showcasing his unquestionable size but also tempting the onlookers to believe that they could possibly take him down._

 _Angelus was not the least bit interested in Marco or his overgrown muscles-he was far more interested in the slender brown ankles that flashed so sweetly with her every step._

 _ **"One minute sirs! That is all!"**_

 _The fire was growing, steadily consuming Angelus until all that was left was the seductive call of her heartbeat._

 _ **"If you can keep yourself from being pinned down, not only will you get back your fare but we will DOUBLE it!"**_

 _Yes, without a doubt he had to have this one._

 _Suddenly the creature was speaking directly to him. Lifting his eyes towards her, Angelus allowed the fierceness of his desire for her to slash across the space that separated them, wanting her to feel his hunger. Standing directly above him the girl's throat worked once, attesting eloquently to having received his dark message._

 _Angelus expected her to flee from the stage, or at the very least back away from him, but she did neither. Instead she met him in the eye and smiled slightly. The untried womanly power in her eyes could not be hidden despite the fact that they were as dark as his own._

All with a smile had he been caught that long ago night. A smile that was so similar to the one Buffy greeted his camera with.

Only hers was caused because of sexual pleasure, not the thrill of attracting a wealthy man.

Feeling his cock press heavily against his pants Angelus forced himself to calmly watch his mistress fuck herself instead of tearing down the hall and fucking her himself.

Buffy felt her body loosen with each movement of her fingers. While at first she had been extremely nervous to do this, now in the throes of her own lust Buffy realized how incredibly silly she had been.

Her fingers trailed up and down, feeling the flesh tighten with delight. Very softly she brushed against her clit before trailing lower. With a small amount of surprise she realized that she was teasing herself, much like Angelus did to her.

Feeling her heart quicken Buffy groaned softly. He was right again, that bastard. She did enjoy knowing he was watching her. Moving her hips a bit more insistently she imagined what he was doing right at this moment.

Perhaps he was just in the next room, lounging on the couch in that beautifully negligent way of his.

Or maybe he was in a different part of the house, watching as she put two fingers inside herself.

This time when her fingers brushed upwards they pressed harder against the small piece of flesh that held so much pleasure for her.

Angelus.

She was so addicted to him, despite everything he had done to her. Softly moaning Buffy closed her eyes, not understanding how so much pain could enhance the hunger for him. He hurt her so terribly; just his very existence tore a hole through her chest. When she thought of the way things were, of the way it had been when Angel had been here, she cried.

Perhaps not always with the tears that showed on the outside, but she always wept the warm tears that could only be felt on the inside.

Memories assaulted her mind, reminding Buffy of how cruel she had been to Angel-especially in the beginning. She remembered of how she had constantly ridiculed him for his awkwardness, taunted him with his lack of pulse, and pushed him away when all he had wanted to do was help.

Unwillingly Buffy recalled how time and time again she would set out to hurt him, to show him he meant nothing to her even though on the inside it wasn't true. She remembered how cold she had been to him after she had returned from her summer in LA.

Eventually things had changed but it did nothing to take away the fact of what she had been.

Bringing her chin into her shoulder Buffy moved her face as if to hide what she knew-she had been like Angelus was to her now.

Was the cruelty she suffered from his hands in part because of the way she had treated Angel then?

He wanted her to do this to prove another way of control, but he had it all wrong: she had never felt so much control as she did now.

Buffy had done much good in the world, and she knew it without conceit, but she had also done so much wrong. Especially against Angel.

 _I like to watch because only then are you real._ In that moment she had heard someone new, neither Angel nor Angelus, but both of them. Angelus was always in control, always arrogant and confident to the end, but when he had spoken to her, he let something crack. That crack communicated an emotion in Buffy that she was powerless to ignore.

Tonight Angelus had been subdued-in their dealings it WAS being kind. That kindness, no matter how tiny, could lead to other kindness. He wanted her to be real, he wanted her to open up to him.

She was going to real, right now for him, for Angel.

Turning her head away from her shoulder Buffy forced her head back up against the edge of the pool. Drawing her legs upwards Buffy made sure that her eyes were focused on the tiny camera lens, wanting him to see everything that was happening to her body.

Now she was finally in control. Buffy was in control of her own atonement.

Watching Buffy's hand slide up her body until it touched her breast Angelus wondered at the thoughts that had consumed her in the last few moments. Pushing aside his own memories he found comfort in that most basic emotion: lust. He may not trust or ever really see what lay in Buffy's little bloody box but he trusted in what he saw in her face.

"It feel good, doesn't it?", he seductively drawled.

"Oh, yes", she moaned while steadily focusing on the camera.

Coldly smiling at the naked longing in her voice Angelus softly asked, "You're not so shy anymore, are you?"

"No...not anymore."

"Good, that's so good Buff. But you know what?"

"What?", she asked with a hitch in her voice.

"I want you to be bad", Angelus wolfishly stated.

"Bad?"

"Yeah, I want you to be real bad for me baby. Can you be bad for me?"

Shuddering because of the dark, sultry hunger found in his voice Buffy felt a mighty ache assault her senses. _Oh God_ she thought with exquisite longing. Shutting her eyes she heard her breath quicken as she thought of Angelus. The heat of the water deliciously enveloped her body, making her feel touched and held.

Every submerged inch of her was fluidly wrapped with heat, but it was not enough and Buffy knew why.

The liquid was a poor comparison to the vampire who watched her.

Shifting restlessly Buffy moaned a tiny, greedy sound. She wanted him now. He wanted her to be bad for him, did he? Buffy would be as bad as Angelus wanted her to be and perhaps, just perhaps, her pain would lighten.

For him. Because of them both.

"I want to be bad", she sighed as she rubbed the palm of her hand over her mound.

A wicked chuckle rent the air. "My little girl wants to be real bad. That's good Buff-I like you bad for me. Just for me." A small pause stilled all sound before he guttarly asked, "You want to be bad only for me, don't you Buff?"

Opening her eyes Buffy stared up at the near-invisible lens wondering why the angry possessiveness in his voice appeared.

"Answer me Buff", he curtly ordered a mere second later.

Bewildered she admitted, "I couldn't do this with anyone else." Her pulse began to beat heavily, the fluttering in her throat eloquently attesting to knowledge of Angelus' distrust in those few spoken words.

The pleased purr Angelus emitted sent a ripple of heat through Buffy, while a sense of wariness remained within. He was growing angry with her and this bothered her more than it should. It was so strange, the dealings between her and Angel and now her and Angelus. With Angel the question of jealousy had been rarely addressed.

With Angelus it was becoming more and more apparent.

If any of the two sides of them should have been suspicious of her activities it should have been Angel.

Allowing her hand to drop back into the water Buffy broke symbolic contact with Angelus. It was ironic, it really was. She loved Angel, still loved Angel, yet Angelus held her more completely in his hand than Angel ever did.

Angel would have been content with perhaps briefly allowing her to lay within his open palm, always free to go and never pressured to stay.

Angelus would be satisfied with nothing less than forcing her to feel every digit of his fingers wrapped tightly about her, crushing her to the point of suffocation, but allowing her enough breath to be grateful to him.

How could she ever gain her footing with him when one foot was stuck in the past and the other so far into the future that she stood precariously stretched between them both?

To lay in this pool, to be in this house with Angelus had to be the most exquisitely insane torment of her life. Whenever she was with him, her heart felt so crushed within her chest Buffy vaguely wondered how she could ever really draw breath. She walked as a person only moments away from loss of consciousness.

Perhaps that was why she could not make clear decisions concerning him-now and then.

Sunday night had to have been the worst night of her life. It was still so painful for her to remember. It had been far more painful than the night when she realized that Angel was truly gone and that all she had left was a coldly, taunting stranger. The night that she had laid curled into a ball on her bed had been a night of innocence gone.

The night that she had laid impaled on a table had been a night of innocence violently shattered.

And yet she was still here. And yet she still wanted him. And yet she longed for him to be with her.

"Where are you Buff?" His voice was slightly sing-song, the familiar mocking lilt lacing his words again. "C'mon sweetie, I don't want you looking away-not when you're going to be so bad for me."

Shifting her gaze back up to the ceiling Buffy sighed deeply.

"Well, if it's going to be such a chore..."

"No, it won't be", she softly assured him, still trying to grapple with why it was so important to her to make him...happy?

Happy?

"Then why the long face babe?"

She wanted to make him happy. She wanted to make a creature like Angelus happy?

 _I like to watch because only then are you real._

Buffy lay silent for a moment before she lightly threw his words back at him. "Let's not bore each other with words."

"No problem here, babe, no problem at all."

There. That was familiar territory, mocking and taunting-Buffy could deal with that much better than the Angelus who momentarily sounded melancholy before turning angry. Angelus angry-yes, but Angelus melancholy?

Switching the view of the camera angle Angelus coolly smiled in appreciation at the sight of Buffy's nude body. Opening up the desk drawer he withdrew several pencils and a sketch pad. Settling himself in a more comfortable position he quickly flipped past several drawn sheets before stopping at a blank one.

With a leg propped up as support Angelus softly instructed Buffy to, "Spread you legs more widely." Waiting until she had done so he then said, "Now I want you to take one finger and trace those pretty lips of yours, but only on the outside."

He watched as Buffy lowered her head slightly before rebuking her with, "Nah-ah lover. Keep your eyes up."

Dimly he realized that his voice was taking on a more authoratative tone, the coaxing softness of his words disappearing with each second. Even so, Buffy continued to respond and that was all that mattered to him in that moment.

He noticed the small shudder that went through her body when she began touching herself. Smiling in satisfaction his hand began to move across the paper, the dark lines showing very little recognizable form. But soon they would join together, creating a picture all of Angelus' making...much like Buffy would be.

"Does that feel nice lover?"

She nodded her head once, the sharpness of her eyes hazing just a bit.

"Good. That's so good. But I want you to tell me-how does it feel?" When she answered without hesitation Angelus ruthlessly smiled.

"I-I feel...it feels nice...sorta tickles...like an itch that feels so good when it's scratched..." Her voice ended in a sigh as her fingers traveled much lower.

"Hmmm, let's see if I can help you scratch that itch even more. I want you to take your hand and just touch your neck-no not that one, let that one stay there-no, the other one. Just touch your neck lover."

Flicking his gaze back down to his pad Angelus observed the concert of charcoal slashing across the pristine paper canvas. He studied the arch of Buffy's neck as she touched her skin, rubbing it with greater force as the moments carried on.

"Just your fingertips Buff, I want you to just let your nails scratch across your skin. Not too hard-just as if they were barely there. Yeah, that's right babe, just like that."

With great pleasure he saw when her body jumped as her fingers lightly raked across her jugular. Her nipples tightened in response just as a tingle rippled through his own body. Angelus' fangs grew at the memory of relishing Buffy's blood.

"What do you want now?", he darkly asked.

Buffy let out a moan in answer as she continued to allow her fingers to caress the strong pulse of blood.

"Buuufff-what's making you so hot?"

Twisting her shoulders Buffy panted, "I like it when you bite me."

Capturing the pose of her chest with his nimble fingers Angelus murmured, "And what makes you think of that now?"

"My neck...the blood...my fingers..."

Making a lusty sound Angelus decided to turn things up a notch. "Alright sweetheart," he softly said, the seductiveness of his voice calling all to well to his little mistress, "why don't you go ahead and part those pretty lips of yours and play?"

Buffy knew that Angelus' _sweetheart_ meant about as much as his _lover_ , _darling_ , _baby_ , and _babe_ did but it felt so nice to hear. She was being a fool to care so much, but Buffy found that she liked hearing him say that to her. No matter how tiny of a reminder it seemed, the way he had said _sweetheart_ made Buffy remember a time when things had been different.

When Angel loved her.

 _Angel's gone and it's all my fault._

Buffy's heart gave a lurch as the pain flooded her once again. Things could be so different now, but they weren't and all because she had forced the issue. If only she hadn't given into her impassioned desires...now it seemed that desire was all she had left.

The desire that Angelus had for her and she for him was the mocking tribute they gave to the great love of Buffy and Angel.

It was all she had left of him and Buffy could not let that go. She did belong to Angelus, not because he said so, but because he was all she had left. By giving herself pleasure, but allowing him to dictate the way she experienced it, she could hear him praise her, she could hear him say _sweetheart_.

It was pathetic and Buffy knew it.

Angelus leaned forward and pressed a small button until it zoomed in on Buffy's face. _This is interesting._ Subtle they were but the near-imperceptible lines of sorrow bespoke of a deep pain. She looked so incredibly heart-broken that Angelus quickly knew the reason if not the cause.

Angel.

Great ominous emotions battled within Angelus as the fact of her grief registered. Malicious joy clashed with unreasonable fury. He wanted her to think of Angel. He needed her to writhe in the throes of self-hatred. His whole seduction of the slayer depended on her going through the mental agony of fucking her demon while loving her angel.

But not here.

Only Angelus existed here. Not Angel, not their watered-downed, glossed over version of love, but this. The hunger and lust that he caused was all she needed. Let her grieve in her own space, her own life.

Not here.

 _She wants to cry,_ he furiously thought when he caught the sheen of tears in Buffy's eyes, _I'll give her a goddamned reason to cry. I'll give her so much of a reason to cry that she'll do it in bucket fulls._

Despite the clamoring of his muderous impulses Angelus kept his voice carefully modulated. It was critical that he remain in control of this. "Why the wait Buff? Don't you remember how much fun you were having?"

Drawing in a shaky breath Buffy could feel herself folding away the pain, much like a piece of clothing. Carefully folding each piece of it until it was small and compact-God, she was getting so used to it! Tucking it away in the drawer of her heart she placed the pain of Angel and all that she had caused. Shifting her legs in the sweetly-scented water Buffy idly listened to the gentle lapping, forcing herself to focus on the present.

Allowing her arms to float she slid under the water, while keeping her eyes open. _I want to do this. It's all I have left of him._ The view of her world was murky with moments of clarity, the water distorting the lines of the ceiling until it barely resembled one. If she was a poetic sort Buffy would say that it fit her perception of what she was doing with Angelus now.

Abruptly lifting her head out of the water Buffy raised her arms and pushed back the dripping locks of hair. She was hardly being bad for him; perhaps if she remembered just the lust, if she could picture the hedonistic passion, then she'd be able to summon her carnal side completely...

"You've gotten shy on me again Slayer."

"Maybe a little."

"That's a shame, shyness can be such a drag sometimes-don't you agree Buff?"

She could feel a flush pinken her cheeks. Angelus threw down his challenge, reminding her without direct words what this game was all about.

Buffy was ready to rise up to the challenge and position herself to play.

Slowly she slid her hand down her stomach, pausing only briefly when she reached the juncture between her thighs, before lightly tugging on her curls. She could immediately feel the quickening of her blood as the forbidden excitement began to build.

"Grab your tit", he crudely ordered.

Hesitating only once Buffy gently squeezed her breast while her fingers found their way inside.

Although she WAS still shy about pleasuring herself Buffy found it easier each time to feel what her body liked. As the hand between her legs began to move faster and more insistently she found that her nipple also enjoyed the attention of being squeezed. The harder she pinched the more exquisite her enjoyment became.

And the sound of Angelus telling her to, "Pinch your nipple like I do" definitely heightened the thrill.

Arching her neck Buffy felt her eyes close until they were barely slits. The sweet scent of her jasmine soap suddenly hit her, heightening the pleasure of her senses. Sliding two slender fingers within her, Buffy angled her hand so that with each stroke her palm brushed directly against her clit.

"Feels good to finger yourself, doesn't it?"

"Oh...yes..."

"Is it enough?"

"Hmm..."

"Do you want to cum?"

Moving her hand more insistently Buffy feverishly worked to bring forth the delicious sensations that she knew her body could experience. Unconsciously the hand on her breast began to rhythmically squeeze and release, alternating between the entire mound of firm flesh and the rouched sensitivity of her nipple.

The heat of the water combined with the growing needs of Buffy's body to cover her face with a misty sheen of sweat. The warm inner flesh clung to her fingers, so softly yet so hungrily. The tight ache elusively touched her, the beginnings of an orgasm beckoning, heightening Buffy's excitement before becoming lost again.

A giddy smile passed over her face when the ache visited again, this time building upon itself until Buffy knew without a doubt that she was going to taste ecstacy. Her hips worked upwards while her whole hand rapidly maintained its delicious duty of keeping with her body's needs.

"Don't cum Buff."

The words meant very little to Buffy, not more than just a barely audible whisper in her ear. She was too far-gone in her own hunger to put any coherent meaning to Angelus' coldly spoken words.

"Stop finger-fucking yourself."

The intense waves that signaled what she desperately wanted started rolling through her as she spread her legs even more widely.

"Don't you dare fucking cum lover."

Yes! Buffy's body tightened upon itself, every sense pulsing and pounding as the passion tore through her. Wordlessly she arched, her eyes closing while the whole world centered on the flesh between her thighs.

Suddenly she felt a mouth over hers, swallowing all of her soundless cries. Quickly she wrapped her arms around Angelus' naked back and pressed her wet, hot body against his cool one. Hungrily they fed off each other, Angelus' tongue sliding decadently against her own. Wrapping his arms around her waist he pulled her up even more tightly against him.

Hazily Buffy felt her blood sing for Angelus, the throb of her neck growing with each beat. She knew that he had to hear the call of her heart, tempting him to do what his nature wanted. Her blood was calling to him, forcing her to curl her nails into little claws against his bare skin.

Suddenly Buffy felt Angelus tunnel his hands through her now-tangled hair, pulling it back harshly and forcing her to look into his cruel gaze.

"You came." A smirk lifted the corner of his beautiful mouth before he continued, "You were so bad, weren't you lover?"

"Yes," she sighed, the word sounding wanton even to her own ears.

"I like you being bad..."

Swallowing thickly Buffy tried to regain sense over herself, trying to find the ability to communicate with words. "I thought you would." He had lasted longer than she thought he would. Despite being recently sated she wanted him inside her and wished that he had not waited until now to come to her. While it was nice knowing she could take care of her own pleasure, the feeling of Angelus' smooth, cold cock inside her could never be replicated.

"I like you being bad-but not like that." Reaching out with his tongue he wickedly licked the curve of her mouth, smirking when Buffy's open mouth tried to follow him. He could smell her arousal and it whetted his hunger for her. Tempted as he was to ease his body with her delectable one, now was not the time.

Now was the time to teach her not to defy him.

Now.

His gently spoken words and the maddened fury in his eyes sent a warning to her. "W-what?" was all Buffy was able to get out before being viciously slapped and then ruthlessly pulled along by the steel grip of Angelus' hand on her upper arm.

Her face was on fire and her arm felt as if it were going to give at any moment beneath the unrelenting pressure of his hand. Buffy was too shocked to really understand what was happening to her until she felt the cold, iron manacles encircling her wrists. All too quickly she felt her arms being pulled up over her head, forcing her feet to arch up.

Pulling the chains back solidly Buffy did not feel the metal give way. Looking up she saw that the chains were secured by the metal ironwork adorning the wall. "You son-of-a-bitch!"

Quickly walking up to her he delivered another blow to her cheek, this one meant to sting not to daze. "I've told you about that mouth Buff-you will talk like a lady." Turning away from her he threw over his shoulder, "Or at the very least you'll act like one when you're not on your back. Then-you can sound much like the whore you are."

Infuriated by passions that went beyond lust Buffy gave the chains another mighty tug but was rewarded with only the _clank_ of the metal hitting against the wall. Craning her head up she saw that she was hung very near the mammoth fireplace. The flames had yet to completely devour the wood so it was still licking and dancing along the charred logs.

Shifting her legs Buffy looked over her shoulder and saw Angelus sitting in a high-backed chair. Growling in fury she pulled back once before spitting, "What do you think you're doing?"

Lounging with negligent grace Angelus smoothly answered, "That should be pretty obvious lover."

"Chains and Slayer do not make for a turned-on girl," she warned while the fire of fury grew brighter and brighter within her eyes.

"Like I care," he bluntly replied.

Giving another violent tug Buffy said with a hard edge to her voice, "Who keeps something like this in their room? What's your deal Angelus?"

"What did you think it was-a sconce?" Chuckling darkly Angelus then asked with malicious charm oozing from each word, "C'mon sweetie-you really aren't surprised are you? I mean, did you just think I'd be satisfied with the crop?"

Fear settled heavily in her stomach. _He can't mean to..._ "Damn you! What did I do?!" she yelled before giving thought to exposing her weakness.

Rubbing his chin lightly Angelus murmured, "What did you do? Hmmm...there's so much, really there is." Sighing heavily he finally answered, "I told you not to cum."

"What?!" Gazing in wide-eyed disbelief Buffy exclaimed, "Like that's something you can control! It happened!"

"It happened. Well, then I'm sure you'll understand that this is something I can't control either." Lithely standing up Angelus allowed the object in his hand to uncoil while watching Buffy's face immediately drain of color. Giving his arm a swing he ruthlessly smiled at the wicked crackle that pierced the air. "It's just going to happen-but I know you'll understand E-X-A-C-T-L-Y what I mean." When Buffy grabbed both chains in her hands and began to pull on them in earnest Angelus made a playful chastising sound. "Darling you should stop that. Your wrists will start bleeding-oh, I guess it's too late for that."

Stalking closer to his chained mistress Angelus purred, "Now why did you go and do that for? Afterall, it's not your wrists that I want to bleed..."

Buffy could feel the warm, wet blood trickle down her forearms before dripping off onto the hard floor beneath her bare feet. Her mind could hardly register what Angelus planned on doing to her. _This can't be happening,_ she blankly thought. _I'm not just some girl-I'm the Slayer. Why am I here?_

"Because I want you to be." The smug, softness of his voice whispered in Buffy's ear, causing her to jerk away from him. Before she could be shocked by the possibility of him reading her mind, Buffy realized that she had spoken the last of her thoughts out loud. "I don't care WHAT you want!", she furiously hissed.

The wicked chuckle he gave in return was only surpassed by his assured statement of, "You're also here because deep down you want to be."

"You don't know me-if you did you wouldn't say something so stupid," Buffy stated in the coldest tone she could muster while feeling completely vulnerable. Every sense was on pained alert, for once the ever-present desire she carried for him dampened by the stark fear that ran in her veins. She could not break free from the chains; they had yet to even shift from their steadfast position on the wall.

A strong, cool arm snaked around her waist, forcing her nude body back against Angelus' bare chest. "I'd beg to differ Buff," he began, the taunt so evident in his unpleasant voice. "You see-I know you SO well. In fact," he huskily drawled, "I bet that I know you even better than Angel-boy ever did."

Buffy let out a growl of rage, hating to hear what he believed-and perhaps in the deepest recesses of her mind, scared that maybe he was right.

She felt him take his hand and slowly slide it across the skin of her chest before reaching up and gripping her chin. Lifting it up he forced her head back against him while still keeping his other arm wrapped around Buffy's small waist. She could feel the end of the harsh, tightly braided whip brush against her recoiling body, teasing and taunting her skin much like the wielder did.

Forced to look up into Angelus' ebony gaze Buffy watched his mouth lift in the insolent, mocking smirk that she despised. "I know that he NEVER would've thought that you liked being beat." Chuckling at the fire that leapt across her clear gaze he drawled, "Lucky for me I had a feeling about you babe."

Violently Buffy jerked against him, gritting her teeth when she couldn't get away. "I don't get off on getting beat!"

"No?" Arching a thick brow Angelus smartly asked, "So what do you think we've been doing the last several hours in my bed?"

"Creatively fucking," she bluntly answered, furious and hurt because she knew he was right. Granted, her liking the way Angelus used the crop against her skin wasn't exactly being massaged, but hearing it put in those terms made Buffy feel tawdry.

And tawdry was not an emotion she was prepared to feel tonight.

"Darling, getting hit until you bruise IS getting beat. Although it's not as much fun as it could be-now that you heal so quickly." Taking an unnecessary deep breath Angelus complained, "Slayer you just find a way to take the joy out of everything, don't you?"

"I didn't ask you to bite me asshole." Buffy could feel his body tighten; she knew he was furious because of her _unladylike_ speech. Fuck him. She was tired of the baiting, she was just so TIRED of all this. The constant fight, the continuous tight rope act between this life and her other...

It was too much.

And it'd only been about a week when the battlefield shifted from the hard, gritty surface of the streets to the unforgiving, silken prison of his bed.

Sighing heavily again Angelus mused, "You fight me-you lose. You keep yourself away from me-I find a way inside. You talk like a slut-I treat you like one." Tightening his hold on her waist he smiled when her breath hitched. "You know how things play here baby, I've made sure to let you in. So like I said-you like it Buff. If you didn't...you wouldn't push me to it." Laughing nastily he sneered, "So who's the stupid one...Slayer?

"Stupid?", she all but growled. "That's what every sadistic head case tells himself. But then you're so full of yourself aren't you...lover?" Buffy allowed her words to end in an insulting drawl, satisfied when she saw the tightening in his jaw. This was beyond everything that she was willing to accept! No matter how foolish it might appear for her to show spirit now, especially in light of her being in chains, Buffy did not care.

Besides, it seemed that this was the role she was meant to play. When the odds were against her that's when her spirit chose to surface-too bad it never seemed to show up before the event that led her into having stacked odds.

Like now.

She should've just went home. She should've never thought that she could control her own atonement by making him happy. Angelus would always make himself happy at her expense, not with her aid. And now it appeared that chaining her up and whipping her was on his _happy agenda_.

Why the hell didn't she get her "Whip the Slayer" memo?

While a strong part of her prayed that he would not use the whip that continously brushed against her shrinking body, another part of her did. If Angelus plied the biting leather against her naked flesh, Buffy would find another reason to hate him. As long as she hated him, she could not be hurt.

As long as she could not be hurt, she could not wish for love.

"Make me mad lover, that's okay. It still doesn't change a T-H-I-N-G." Leaning down while keeping a firm grip of Buffy's chin, Angelus laid a soft kiss on her forehead. "Before this night is through I'll have you at my feet Buff." Laughing delightedly at the narrowing of her eyes Angelus abruptly said, "But first things first."

Buffy felt the a whisper of air slide down her back, letting her know that Angelus no longer stood right behind her. Gripping the length of chain above the manacles with both of her hands she focused her scattered energy and gave a mighty tug.

Nothing except for fresh rivulets of blood snaking down her wrists.

Hanging, suspended in air, Buffy closed her eyes and leaned her head back. He would pay. Oh, he would pay for this and for everything else he'd done. He would pay. She would suffer this humiliation like she suffered all the others, perhaps she'd end up losing control and falling into him, but she would not forget this.

She would not forget this.

Starting when she felt a hand lightly caress her bottom, Buffy then managed to hold herself still and stare straight ahead when his hand smartly smacked her rounded cheek. She had expected to feel the excruciating bite of the whip tear into her skin, not this playful hit.

She should have known better.

Angelus continued to amuse himself by alternating his spanks, first one side and then the other. Studiously she ignored the uncomfortably pleasant sensations his hand produced, instead choosing to intently study each subtle crack in the wall. Angelus paused in his ministrations to gently kiss Buffy's neck, savoring the hatred she felt and the helplessness she placed upon herself.

When Angelus sensed her body had relaxed just the tiniest bit, he quickly opened his mouth widely before ferociously biting down. The fierceness of his fanged invasion tore through Buffy, forcing her to clench her eyes shut while her own mouth opened in a muted cry. Greedily he drank in her blood, wrapping his arm firmly around her waist while tightly squeezing one breast with his hand.

Behind her closed lids Buffy felt as if she could see the night exploding. The blood relentlessly drummed through her system, coursing and rushing to the open wound on her shoulder, eager to nourish the monster that fed off her. As much as she wanted to fight against it, as much as she would refuse her body pleasure, Buffy could feel it coming. The whole of her world seemed to bleed away as sensation centered upon this moment.

A moment that was one of crimson blood and black lust, a lust as black as the whip that wisped from his tightly clenched hand.

The lazy, gentle swaying of his malicious toy touched her body, giving an added sense of pained sensation that hurt so only because it actually heightened the pleasure that was growing steadily within Buffy's womb.

Tightening without coherent thought Buffy strained against her bonds and laid her head back against Angelus' naked chest. The culmination of her traitorous passions centered on the violation of his fangs and the thoroughness of his kiss. The flames of her fury grew alongside the fire of her hunger until the two melded into one tumultuous explosion.

"Ahhh! Ahhhhh!" Buffy wailed, the sheer ecstacy taking control of her.

With a growl of satiation Angelus pulled away from his lover, the magic of her blood already humming through his lifeless form. It was a drug, this blood of her hers.

Her blood, Slayer's blood, flew through his veins, coloring a world that smelled of her. Angelus' mouth opened slightly, the stain of her liquid marring the perfect paleness of his cheek. Gathering control of his blood-induced high, Angelus looked at Buffy.

Her body hung slightly slumped, the absolute satiation she felt apparent by the waves of sweet arousal that came his way. Golden hair rippled down her back, the dried masses shining brightly while reflecting the shades of fire and night amidst the sun. The back she presented held no flaws; the line and curve of her teasing him to make his mark.

Almost time.

 _I can't do it just yet. She's not ready for me. I'm almost there..._

The demon rose and howled, wanting to give into baser instincts without thought nor consequence. Only Angelus' determined patience kept him from raising his hand and unleashing a torrent of blows that would surely drive Buffy down to her knees if she wasn't chained.

Mentally disposing of his hungered images, Angelus' eyes were drawn down to her pert bottom. While he was partial to a bit more flesh Angelus decided that the way Buffy was shaped suited her perfectly-well almost. Circling to the side he studied her bowed head and rapidly expanding chest. Catching the impressions of bone through delicately covered skin Angelus frowned.

She had definitely lost some weight.

Cruelly smiling he attested it to losing tepid love and gaining his tender affections.

 _Five pounds...maybe closer to ten to fill her out._ Along with tutoring her in history and instructing her sexually, Angelus was now responsible for making sure she gained weight.

Were his duties never to end?

Sauntering over to her still form Angelus fitted his back against her and purred. He could feel her body begin to awaken from its post-orgasmic semi-slumber. Lazily licking the closed wound Angelus' cock tightened in anticipation of making the Slayer writhe in pained ecstacy. She hated the chains without a doubt. She hated him before his bit of snacking and she would undoubtedly feel even more hatred now.

But she would feel pleasure in his hand-of that Angelus had full confidence.

Pulling away from his mistress Angelus then proceeded to pick up where he had left off. Thoroughly he began to spank her, alternating the pressure of his hand until he knew that Buffy had no way of steeling herself against him. The chamber's cavernous state and impressively high ceilings reflected back the obscene sounds of his hand hitting her flesh.

The flames of the ever-growing fire splashed the room with a chaotic palette of burnt amber and radiant yellow, painting Buffy's skin with luminesence while shrouding her demon lover in shades of night. The myriad paintings that adorned the expansive walls all appeared to look down with muted sorrow as the game between Slayer and Vampire progressed.

"You have a beautiful ass Buff."

 **Smack.**

"I love to see how my handprint stands out against your skin."

 **Smack**

"But you know what I love more?"

 **Smack**

"I love to hear you cry."

 **SMACK**

Buffy's body unwillingly arched with the force of the last strike, her breasts rising up higher will her calves protested from the weight of standing so rigidly. The smugness of his tone grated her, making her wish that she could deny him his _loves_. But it was too late-she could already feel the prickling of tears behind her closed lids.

It wasn't because of pain and it wasn't because of sadness-it was because of anger.

Once again while Angelus had been spanking her bottom Buffy began to feel her wretched desire. Not because she wanted to, but because it seemed that no matter how it happened, if Angelus touched her, she wanted him. Her body wanted him with a terrifying hunger that feasted on itself, growing beyond the limits of her anger and control.

"C'mon baby-cry for me. Just a little." Angelus' voice throatily purred in Buffy's ear while his hand tightly squeezed one briefly reddened cheek.

It shamed her how she had writhed in explosive pleasure while he fed off of her body. In chains no less. How could her passion betray her this way? How come the force of her fury and hatred were not enough to make her body cold, immune to his sharp kiss and wicked hand?

Unfortunately for Buffy a traitorous tear made it's lonely journey down her flushed cheek. "Oh, that's what I want to see," Angelus gloated. He leaned forward and licked the tear, taking Buffy's misery into his own body.

"Enjoy it while you can," Buffy hotly spat from clenched teeth, furious that for all her body's strengths and abilities she still could not control her tears.

"Oh I will Slayer-you can count on it."

Moving his hand from her bottom Angelus slowly slid it around her hip before resting it on the silky hair between Buffy's thighs. Although she shifted to close her legs tightly together Buffy was too late. Two fingers sensuously made their way between, parting her dampened flesh to possessively rest inside.

"Well what do we have here?", he teasingly purred next to her ear. Stubbornly she remained silent, choosing instead to resume her practice of staring straight ahead at the wall.

"What? No witty quip?" Angelus smiled ruthlessly against her neck as he began to lazily kiss Buffy's dampened skin. She thought that she would be able to ignore him. Not a chance.

"You're all wet for me darling-dare I ask why?" He heard her heartbeat began to quicken in rhythm. No doubt it was due to angered lust, not fear.

Shifting his hand Angelus was able to smoothly slide his fingers inside of Buffy. She inhaled quickly before she could stop herself, thereby granting him another triumph. Slowly yet firmly Angelus began to pull his fingers out before pushing them back into her heat. Standing behind her he listened to her body, rejoicing in all that it sang. Beneath his body he could feel hers stiffen and not with rage.

Buffy fixedly stared at a tiny groove of the wall, desperate to focus on the way that it resembled the letter "S". She was losing the battle. The longer Angelus played with her, the longer he kept her in this suspense, the less control she had over her senses-over her will. Even now she was beginning to lose some of the indignant fire of rage against Angelus for chaining her.

Instead he was pulling her emotions to those of thick, sweet pleasure.

When it felt like he added a third digit Buffy lost the strangle-hold control of her voice and moaned a tiny sound of passion.

She could feel him run his hand firmly over her naked body, fondling any part of her that pleased him. She was his toy, his very own fuck-toy-his to abuse, his to pet.

And she couldn't stop him. A part of her believed she deserved it for losing Angel. The other part wanted it.

Enraged by her own thoughts Buffy jerked away from him, pulling her body closer to the unforgiving wall. "What are you waiting for? Just fucking DO IT!" Instantly closing her eyes with frustration she silently cursed herself for being a fool. Now instead of perhaps boring him into either dropping the idea of whipping her or just getting it over with, she herself had just given him another weapon to use.

The next moment shocked Buffy into opening her eyes and mouthing the word _No_.

"Alright darling, I believe you've waited long enough." Shifting his wrist Angelus pulled the leather handle out of his mistress' body, noting the gleaming wetness that coated the black leather with satisfaction. Seeing the stiffening of her back he wolfishly observed, "I take it you didn't know that you were using my whip as a dildo." Leaning forward he confided, "I aim to please my Slayer in all things-even though you don't deserve it."

"Please me?" she croaked in disbelief, hardly able to come to terms with what he had just been doing. How was it she didn't even notice?

"Of course! Or has all my affections not been noticed?", he questioned in a dangerous voice.

Shutting her eyes in momentary defeat Buffy whispered, "You're sick Angelus. Completely insane."

Pulling away from her body Angelus' eyes narrowed as he coldly bit out, "Sick maybe. Insane definitely." Mockingly laughing he lamented, "I HAD to be insane to even think that you'd ever appreciate anything I do for you."

Twisting her head to the side Buffy asked in a shocked voice, "What you do for me?! What have you ever done for me Angelus except torment me, bully me, and made my life hell?"

Rushing her he quickly had his fist intertwined with her thick, blonde hair. Pulling her head back he snarled, "Pleasure Slayer! I've given you the most mind-numbing pleasure that you've ever experienced!"

"At what cost?! My soul?"

"What soul? The soul that tells you to be a good little heroine or the soul that tells you that you belong to me?", he caustically spit out.

"There's just one kind Angelus. One." Buffy murmured in disgust, "You wouldn't understand."

"What? Because I'm a demon?" Pushing her head against the wall Angelus growled, "Let me tell you something Slayer: I've seen more about Heaven and Hell than you have, than you can even possibly IMAGINE. You want to have a theological debate-bring it on baby. But don't even think to lecture me on the subject of souls because believe me-I'm an expert in the subject."

Silently she stood there, not having an answer nor really feeling the need for one. His body was pressed tightly against her own once more and Buffy's body began to respond.

She wanted it.

 _God_ _ **damnit**_ _!_ Buffy thought in despair.

She could feel the thickness of his erection through the low-slung linen pants he wore. The coolness of his flesh deliciously contrasted against the heat of her own. _Oh I don't want this. Not now._

He could smell her, she knew it. Why was she responding like this now when she didn't before? He wasn't touching her sexually, in fact she could have been an opponent that he had just bested.

She was still in chains, he still held a whip that was wet from her body, and he was mad as hell. It didn't make sense.

Narrowing his eyes until they became near slits Angelus furiously stared at the back of Buffy's head. She had found a way under his armor of control again. There had been no performance of carefully practiced words and phrases just now. Buffy had pricked him into honesty by still not understanding what this was all about. Pleasure. Hedonistic pleasure that made this life bearable. Why couldn't she see that?

It was unsettling how quickly he had lost control. And to top it all off she had to start with her idiotic talk of souls.

Loosening his grip of her hair Angelus took several steps back. This loss of his was simple to understand. It had to be because the subject of souls was one that bored him immensely-that was all. After being buried under Angel for nearly a century the s-word was a bad one. He really couldn't be blamed.

Testing the air with his heightened senses Angelus could feel and smell Buffy's arousal. Now this was interesting. For all his practiced seduction her response system had been a trifle bit slow. No doubt it had to do with the chains but still-it had been slower. Now was something familiar.

Buffy was much like a bitch in heat, no matter how much she wanted to control it. Humorlessly smiling Angelus felt a moment of kinship with the Slayer. She hated the loss of control as badly as he did. Only difference between them was that he was better at keeping the control firmly in his court. If she had the ability to live a couple of centuries Angelus would bet his finest antique weapon that she would be just as good as he was.

What a ridiculous line of thinking. A Slayer living forever? Not a chance.

Roughly pulling the waistband of pants lower Angelus reached in and pulled his erection out. Allowing the whip to clang harmlessly to the floor he began to pump his cock, silently debating on how he was going to take her. Pleasure. That's what all this was really about. Different avenues, different flavors, but in the end it all led to pleasure.

HIS pleasure most importantly.

Stalking towards Buffy Angelus bent down and roughly grabbed her thighs, wrenching them far apart. Lithely standing up with her body opened widely he quickly thrust inside her.

Buffy's mouth fell open as the obscene pleasure raced throughout, scorching her senses with wicked passion. Angelus's body hammered hers from behind, while his grip on her thighs were bruising. She could feel each decadent slide of his cock stretch her insides, while the animalistic growls he emitted echoed loudly in her ears.

 _Damn him. Goddamn him to Hell for having this effect on me,_ Buffy thought before clenching her teeth together as she felt his hands' grip shift lower. All too soon she could feel the tips of his fingers brush through the wet curls to find her clit.

 _Damn her. May her God damn her to Hell for affecting me this way,_ Angelus thought as he continued to rub her, enjoying the moistness on his fingers while listening the slippery sounds of their bodies melding with each other.

Every thrust inside Buffy drowned Angelus in the pleasure he sought. There was no denying the passion their bodies felt for each other. The warmth of her body was slowly driving him to the edge. The way she smelled, the way she felt, the way she moaned-it was driving him to distraction.

She wanted it over with. Well so did he. Right now Angelus couldn't even begin to imagine anything beyond the slickly drenched moment of being inside Buffy's cunt. She belonged to him, more so than anyone he had ever made. With Druscilla and all the others like her, they ceased being themselves. They lost the essence of their souls, they lost the ability to feel any real pain.

Their bloody boxes no longer were bloody.

In Buffy he had her. It was her blood nourished him and flowed through his body. It was his cum that coated her insides. His kisses that she marked the end of her nights.

Dimly he watched her hands roughly wrap themselves about the links of chain. Quickly she began to pull herself up before letting down, aiding in their mating.

She loved it. She loved him taking possession of her body.

It wasn't enough.

She had to love him.

Angelus immediately felt a wave of disgust overtake him. Love. He had thought of her loving him and not in terms of her humiliation. Just in terms of her loving him.

Concentrating on pistoning his hips Angelus sought to drive away all thoughts by focusing on the fact that he was fucking the Slayer. That should be enough to give him a rush, to bring forth the satisfaction of knowing that not only could he get this close to her without battle, but that she wanted him.

 _She has to love me. I need her to love me._

No! Angelus did NOT need her to love him. He WANTED her to love him simply because it would be his final triumph before killing her. That was all. End of story.

 _Oh God, why does it have to be this way? Why can't he love me? Why can't he be like Angel?_

Buffy's heart felt as if it had stopped in her chest. Love her? She did NOT need for him to love her. And how could she even begin to think of him in terms of "being like Angel"? For the first time Buffy had thought of having Angelus-with Angel qualities.

 _Why don't I just kill him and put myself out of this misery? Him being dead has got to be better than this._ Even with such thoughts torturing her mind Buffy pushed her hips down, fully encasing his cold, male flesh.

Clenching his eyes shut from the maelstrom of passion that possessed them both Angelus growled deeply in his throat as he thought, _Why don't I just kill her now? Why wait?_

Pulling out of her he rejoiced at the soft sob of disappointment she gave. She hungered for him, chains or no chains. Twisting her body Angelus ignored her cry of surprise. _I can't stand it, I can't stand even one moment of losing control._

Staring up into his darkly handsome face Buffy felt the chains pull, biting into her skin. The metal had broken the delicate tissue several times, only to heal just as quickly. The physical imprisonment of her body was nothing compared to the emotional.

Their eyes locked, his flaming with passioned fury, hers answering his emotions just as loudly. _I hate him. It's all his fault. Angel should be here, not him._

Slamming into her body Angelus felt the hate burn through him, but it wasn't as strong as his passion. _It's all her fault._ He continued to look down into her eyes, watching them dilate with each of his thrusts. Her breasts scalded him, her succulent nipples burning two holes into his chest.

 _He can't do this to me._ The rough wall scraped against Buffy's back as he pushed harder and harder. She could read the hatred in his face and she knew he could read the same in hers.

 _She can't do this to me._ Her eyes held him hostage, the power of her steadily reflecting a deep abiding hatred. She hated him as much as he hated her. Yet that didn't stop her from moaning his name.

Yet it didn't stop him from driving his cock even deeper.

 _I'm stronger than this, than her._ Just barely out of the line of vision Angelus could see her hands twisting upon themselves. Still staring deeply into Buffy's eyes he coldly smiled.

 _I have to be stronger than him. I have to be._ That smile of his. So beautiful and so dangerous. Just like him.

 _I'll walk the earth long after the meat has rotted off her flesh and her bones have crumbled to dust._ And it was true, but right now Buffy was alive. She was human. She belonged to him. His to cherish, his to destroy. _Kill her. Kill her now._

The temptation slyly whispered in his mind, bringing with it visions of Buffy's drained body hangly limply from his chains. Keeping his gaze locked upon her own Angelus knew that she could see his midnight eyes change, the gold and green swirling together in a way that always fascinated her.

 _Kill her. Kill her. Kill her._

Abruptly pulling out of her body Angelus once again roughly turned her body so that it faced the wall. No. He wouldn't kill her. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

What the FUCK?!

 _HELL NO!_

This was not acceptable. It was enough that he would dirty his body by fucking her but no way was this going to be a thought to him.

Enraged beyond reason Angelus stalked over to the forgotten whip. Reaching down he quickly held it within his hand before rising. Pinning Buffy's body with an evilly determined glare he noticed that she was looking over her shoulder. When their eyes met there was a moment of nothingness.

For the tiniest of moments there was a chance to stop, to walk away from each other and never look back.

 _If I kill her..._

 _If I kill him..._

The air grew thick with a chance of fate, the passage of time slowing just a bit to give the two players a chance to declare an opportunity for a different life.

For only the tiniest of moments...

Then it was done. There could be no turning back.

With a smirk firmly in place Angelus strolled closer to Buffy before stopping several feet away. "There can be pleasure in this too Buff."

Bitterly smiling Buffy kept her gaze upon his, knowing that there would be another mark upon her soul tonight. He could make her enjoy it, she knew it. No matter how repellent it was to her mind, she KNEW that he could make her like it.

Finally she answered. "Maybe Angelus- for now. But I will make you pay."

A tremor of disquiet ran through Angelus' body as a tiny part of him recognized the truth of her words. Shrugging it aside he casually replied, "You can try." Then the time for words was done.

Turning her head back to the wall Buffy braced herself for the first blow. She heard the snake-like whisper of the wind a split-second before the whip cracked across her back. Arching slightly Buffy let out a hiss. The burn throbbed briefly before another blow landed.

The punishment ensued with each crack of the whip until Buffy's body was one cohesive unit of pain. His pace was relentless, barely allowing one welt to heal before putting another one in its place. After the first slip Buffy did not let another sound pass her lips. While her arms tensed unbearably and the stiffening of every muscle in her body made it hurt worse, she could not give Angelus the pleasure of her voice.

Not like this.

When he used the crop she could feel that no matter how twisted it was, there was a connection of sorts between them. Her body was with his and they both received their own depraved pleasure. She still believed that if Angelus wanted her to enjoy this wickedness he could make her, but as the minutes went by Buffy understood that he DID NOT want her to feel delight at all.

He wanted to punish her. This hurt her more than anything else tonight.

 _I can't hurt! I have to stop the hurt. The more I hurt, the more I want love from him. NO! I don't want love from that demon! I have to shut down. If I can stop the hurt, I can stop myself from wanting more. I just won't care._

 _I-just-won't-care._

Immediately Angelus sensed what Buffy was doing.

"Do you remember the time you kicked me in the balls Buff?", he pleasantly asked, pausing in his task of punishment.

Buffy stoically stared straight ahead, barely flinching when Angelus' hand wrenched her head back. "I asked you a question. Kindly answer it." He spoke with the dangerous, purring softness that always alerted her to how furious he was.

"Yes," she tonelessly answered, keeping her vision trained on the ceiling rather than looking into his coldly handsome face.

"Why did you do it?"

Buffy played with the idea of being stubbornly silent but then decided that at this point it would serve her no purpose. "Because you were my enemy." 'And I didn't want to end up here, although God knows I could never have really imagined this.'

"Were?", he asked with cunning softness, his grip still firmly holding her hair.

Finally tearing her gaze from the mural on the ceiling Buffy met his eyes. "Are."

Arching a brow slightly Angelus proceeded to query, "But how did we end up in the middle of the road with you sprawled over my lap?"

Not wanting to remember those memories Buffy said without the least bit of heat, "I think you remember as well as I."

Instead of sharply tugging on her hair, Angelus began to massage her scalp with his strong, capable fingers. "Yes, I do. I remember you were a bitch in heat for Halburn. If I hadn't come along I bet you would have opened, " Angelus paused slightly while caressing the inside of her thighs with the whip, enjoying the tiny cringe her body betrayed along with the flutter of her heartbeat before resuming with, "your legs for him."

Buffy's eyes began to cloud with the emotion. Fear, wariness, rage, and hurt swirled quickly within the depths before becoming shuttered.

"Wouldn't you have?!", he suddenly shouted in her face, furious once more that she was attempting to hide herself away from him.

Defiantly Buffy remained silent. She was tired. She just wanted to go home. She just wanted to crawl into her bed and sleep. On a distant level she could feel her insides turning colder, shutting everything down. Anything she said would be wrong anyways. She just needed Angelus to tell her what was right and then she'd repeat it.

That's the way it always ended anyways.

It was her fault. Not his.

A part of her soul shrieked in outrage as Buffy's train of thoughts continued.

 _That's not true! It's not your fault! Where is your strength?! Is this what Giles, Willow, and Xander have put their necks on the line time and time again for?_

For a split-second Buffy felt herself rouse before abruptly losing focus. _What strength?_ she silently jeered herself. _It IS my fault. Angel is gone because of me. I'm the one who pushed for it. I'm the one who wanted to become a_ _ **woman**_ _. This is the price I pay. I deserve it all. I betray them all by wanting Angelus so badly. I did it to save them at first, but now I do it because I'm obsessed._

 _I'm obsessed._

Furiously pulling away from Buffy Angelus once again resumed his whipping, only this time he punctuated each strike with a hatefully spoken accusation.

 **WHIP**

"No matter how much you want to act otherwise, you're a whore Buffy Summers."

 **WHIP**

"A fucking, hypocritical WHORE!"

 **WHIP**

"I can never let you out of my sight, can I?"

 **WHIP**

"The minute I do-you flaunt that little tail of yours to the first sucker who's hard-up."

 **WHIP**

"Look what I had to do to Halburn...because of you."

 **WHIP**

"But that wasn't enough for you!"

 **WHIP**

"Then you played the tease with me!"

 **WHIP**

"Made me think I was going to get some then you have the stupidity to kick me in the balls!"

 **WHIP**

"I told you I'd make you pay," Angelus stated in a smug voice.

 **WHIP**

"Then you had to go and lace your house with holy water and crosses."

 **WHIP**

"Did you know that I planned on fucking you that night?" Laughing nastily Angelus answered his own question. "Of course you did. That's why you finally did it."

 **WHIP**

"That night I promised myself I'd make you pay."

 **WHIP**

"I don't think you've worked off your debt yet. But don't worry-we'll see it through together." Pausing in his work Angelus observed Buffy's reddened back. Despite his fury he stayed his hand with the skill that had been honed through the years. Not one of his marks had yet to even break her skin. He was not interested in drawing her blood yet.

Yet.

Reaching out with his senses he could feel the cage of ice melting away from Buffy. The pain of her punishment had not been enough. It was only with the true combination of his hand and voice that he was wearing down her will.

Running his eyes over her rigid form he could see the muscles in her legs and arms quiver from the force of holding themselves so still. It was as if she believed that as long as she could hold herself, she could keep him away.

 **WHIP**

"Do you remember how you broke my kneecap and arm Buff?"

 **WHIP**

"That just wasn't the loving thing to do, was it?"

 **WHIP**

"I'm feeling generous..."

 **WHIP**

"Just two more..."

 **WHIP**

"Then we're..."

 **WHIP**

"Even!"

 **WHIP**

Pausing in his work Angelus approached Buffy. Smoothing the tangled blonde hair he then wiped the sweat that dotted her forehead. With his lips against her ear he savagely whispered, "Then what did you do? You broke my doors with your foolish stubborness." Abruptly pulling away he then continued with his merciless mission.

 **WHIP**

"You caused all that ruckus and where did you end up staying?"

 **WHIP**

"In my bed-like I wanted."

Buffy's body began to tremble. She started drawing in breath after breath until she was in a near-pant. The sting of Angelus' whip hurt but no where near to being unbearable. Her body had taken worse, mostly from him in their previous battles, but it was his words that were undoing her.

Logically she knew that what he was saying was not the complete truth. She had not wanted to sleep with Jeff Halburn. She did not consciously flaunt herself in front of other men. He deserved to be kicked in the balls-at the very least. She had every right to protect herself from him with the use of holy water and crosses. If he got broken bones from battle, then it was his problem. She didn't go complaining to him over every black eye, fracture, or split lip she received from him, did she? And no one told him to break down the doors when she locked him out. That was his call.

What logic could not combat against was the accusation of being a whore.

Buffy had given him her body and even accepted and proclaimed his ownership of her. He was a ruthless, sadistic demon that made no apologies for what he was and she still wanted him. He had even transformed her into something that was not what she had been gifted with-did it keep her from craving him?

Absolutely not.

He took her anyway he wanted to and she found ecstacy. He manipulated her whole world and she did not turn away. While the threat over her friends lives was still open, Buffy could not pretend that it was the foremost thought in her mind. That was not the reason for her passion for him.

Her passion could only stem because regardless of what the world saw, deep down she was a whore. Only a whore could want him, despite his crimes against the world, against Angel.

She had never wanted to be with Jeff, nor Paul the waiter, but Angelus was right-as soon as his back was turned where did he find her? With another man. Look at how quickly she had betrayed Angel.

And she had loved him with all her heart.

Why wouldn't she do it to Angelus? Afterall, maybe it was just in her nature... Her thoughts ground to halt when the outside world intruded again.

 **WHIP**

"And let's not forget about our good friend Paul! You know what Buff-you're just like her. Just like Fiona."

 **WHIP**

"You were so hot for him, weren't you?"

 **WHIP**

"Answer me whore."

Swallowing thickly Buffy could feel the nothingness that had taken over before, slowly disappear. As long as she felt nothing, she was safe. Now she wasn't. "No," she whispered in a tiny voice.

 **WHIP**

"No what?", he asked in a silky tone of voice.

"I wasn't hot for him. I've only wanted you."

 **WHIP**

 **WHIP**

 **WHIP**

The blows occurred so quickly and with such force Buffy gasped aloud with the streaking pain that had wrapped itself around her body. This time she could feel the blood that rose to the surface, running through the breaks in her flesh. Before she could even begin to compose herself Buffy cried aloud again. Angelus had twisted her away from the wall and entered her savagely.

"Liar! You haven't just wanted me Buff." Thrusting fiercely Angelus dug his fingers deeply into her ass. "You've wanted Angel too."

Clenching her eyes shut Buffy turned her head to the side. The brutality of his every movement elicited a depraved response from her. The pain he gave her was coupled with the unholy pleasure she felt at having him touch her. Disgusted with herself Buffy could feel her emotions churning. She was a disgusting, depraved creature to feel any enjoyment.

She was slipping...

"You don't deserve kindness lover. You-only-deserve-THIS!" Withdrawing completely from her body Angelus forcefully drove his cock back in, delighting in the wetness that made his passage easier while feeling a sense of dissatisfaction that she was so wet. He did not want her to enjoy this.

"You're a liar Slayer. A filthy liar."

Moaning in despair Buffy's control was slipping rapidly. She was a whore. A lying, filthy whore. She was sick. Depraved. Just like him.

Because of him.

Buffy could feel herself fracturing on the inside, the cracks steadily growing in time with his thrusts.

Angelus pounded Buffy's chained body, all his thoughts centered on his own release and not hers. She didn't deserve satisfaction.

He did not notice the new tension that was beginning to overtake her body.

Shifting his hand so that she rested on his forearm Angelus placed his freed hand just under her adorned wrists. Grasping both of them he pressed his mouth against Buffy's exposed neck. Just as he felt his lower body explode in carnal pleasure his fangs extended and pierced his lover's neck.

Greedily he drank in her blood, experiencing the familiar euphoria that hit his veins as soon as he took her within himself. After several moments of feeding Angelus finally withdrew from Buffy. Moving his hand from her wrists he traveled higher to undo her manacles.

Not sparing much of a glance at her nude body Angelus turned around and walked away before boredly ordering, "Get dressed and get out. I'm done with you... _whore_."

He heard her girlishly sweet voice reply, "Alright", before it changed to one that he barely recognized. "But not before I'm done with _you_."

Angelus' instincts screamed a warning to turn around a millisecond too late. He felt his scalp split under the force of a blow to his head. While it did not knock him into unconsciousness Angelus lost a few seconds of complete clarity of his surroundings. What the hell was going on?

It was too late for him. Buffy felt the human part of herself withdraw, leaving something utterly hard and unforgiving in its place. After merely a week of _playing_ , the dam she so doggedly built inside herself broke and now there was nothing to hold it or her back.

Angelus' mistress snapped.

Quickly Buffy hefted the heavy wrought iron fire poker she had taken while Angelus' back was turned over her shoulder before slamming it back down on his head. This time he was driven to his hands and knees.

"Bitch-", his threat was effectively and immediately silenced when Buffy turned the weapon around in her hands and struck him with the blunt handle. The blow instantly broke his jaw. When he made the mistake of looking up at her she delivered another strike, this time to his temple.

The look in her eyes made Angelus curse fluently. His jaw was already knitting itself together, the bones finding each other and fusing. That was least of his concerns at the moment. He had taken her too far.

He had pushed too much and now he was paying the price for his loss of control. Could she come back from the dark place in her mind?

The blankness in Buffy's eyes reflected her insides-or so he thought.

Buffy raised the iron weapon high over her head before hitting Angelus square in the back. He could barely restrain his grunt of pain before she hit him again. Dimly he thought that somehow she was going to try to beat him to death.

"How dare you?!", she gasped out before hitting the back of his leg. "How dare you make me this? Make me a w-whore!"

All too quickly Angelus realized that Buffy was going to recreate the scene she just went through and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. She was just too fast. He had it confirmed when he tried to gain his feet.

Buffy simply broke his spine.

 **THWACK**

"You made me want you!"

 **THWACK**

"You knew how much I loved Angel!"

 **THWACK**

"Why did you have to come back?!"

 **THWACK**

"Why did you have to destroy what he and I had?!"

 **THWACK**

"You made fun of me! You threw my virginity in my face! How dare you?!"

 **THWACK**

"You called me cold! An insipid virgin who didn't know one end of a cock from another!"

 **THWACK**

"Then you wouldn't leave me alone!"

 **THWACK**

"You beat Jeff Halburn for having the misfortune to like me!"

 **THWACK**

"You made me feel so helpless!"

 **THWACK**

"You tricked me into thinking you killed him! You made me go through hell! As if I didn't have enough going on with death that night!"

 **THWACK**

"Then you blackmail me into bed! You threatened my friends! You knew how I felt about Angel, you knew how I'd feel about it afterwards, but you didn't care!"

 **THWACK**

"You MADE me like it! You MADE me want you! You turned me into a WHORE!"

 **THWACK**

Angelus' body was one massive broken welt, bruise, and fracture. Buffy was in the midst of a Slayer-enhanced rage. Not once in all their dealings had she ever unleashed this much punishment to his body. Not once had she caught him by surprise and kept the advantage.

Now he was simply a sprawled, broken body. Her blows came down so quickly his body could not heal them fast enough. He had given up trying to get up long ago. Hissing at the pain in his head, Angelus intently focused on her words. It was the only thing that could keep him from feeling the full agony.

He would wait this out and then they'd see...

"It's your fault!"

 **THWACK**

"You made me feel dirty! You said that we'd fuck until you didn't want me anymore! How do you think that made me feel?!"

 **THWACK**

"But that's right! YOU don't care what I feel, only what you feel."

 **THWACK**

"What DO you feel Angelus in that black heart of yours?"

 **THWACK**

"Don't bother answering sweetie, I can see that your jaw is broken."

 **THWACK**

Angelus would have smiled if he could. Buffy made a perfect feminine imitation of himself.

"You told me about Lady Fiona. You bastard! You made me doubt Angel's love, even if for only a second. It was a second TOO LONG!"

 **THWACK**

"You made me beg for you and then you spanked me! You made me cry! I hate you!"

 **THWACK**

"Then you almost killed me! You turned me into something freakish-not quite Slayer, not quite vampire!"

 **THWACK**

"So what am I Angelus? What AM I?"

 **THWACK**

"Answer me!", she commanded with a desperate shrillness in her voice.

Spitting out a mouth full of blood and teeth Angelus arrogantly answered, "Mine." Looking up out of one eye he studied the frenzied look of pain and fury that twisted her features. Seeing him looking at her Buffy raised the iron poker, fully intending to split the side of his face wide open. He barely found the strength to shift his body so that the blow landed on his shoulder.

"If I'm yours then why do you treat me so badly? When all I do is try to make you happy?!" The disjointed thoughts that ran through what was left of her mind quickly found another tunnel of complaint.

 **THWACK**

"When I put my mouth on you, you made me feel like shit! Then you fucked me before throwing me out!"

 **THWACK**

"And I still wanted you! I STILL WANTED YOU!"

 **THWACK**

"You made me beg for his life!" Dropping to her knees the iron poker clanged loudly as Buffy brokenly swore, "You have to know that I never wanted Paul like that! I didn't!" Angelus clearly heard the plea in her voice and was almost tempted to speak to her but decided against it. She was too unstable.

As if sensing his thoughts Buffy scrambled to her feet and stood there silently for many moments. Angelus suffered the agonizing and needed process of feeling his body heal. His pride was stung, but surprisingly his fury was almost non-existent.

It was his own over-confidence and foolishness that got him the beating to begin with. Shifting his head he watched Buffy through the slit of his eye. She stood in the midst of the cavernous room and did not look like a Slayer, whore, or paramour. She looked a lost girl. He could feel his body strengthening and now he could almost straighten his legs. In just a minute or two he'd be able to stand and take away her weapon before she decided to use it as a stake instead. Then she spoke.

For the first time Buffy's voice softened until a near whisper. "But I'm a whore, so maybe I just do things like that." Lifting her voice once more she shouted, "BUT WHO'S FAULT IS THAT?!" She now had a new sense of fury. If she had had any ideas of stopping the brutal assault against Angelus they were firmly disposed of.

 **THWACK**

"Then I went to my knees for you. I showed you everything I felt but you threw it in my face."

 **THWACK**

"You went out and flirted with my mom!"

 **THWACK**

"You treated me like a child! You made my mom think she could have you! She can't! NO ONE CAN!" The last of her words were shrieked, the loudness of them causing a tremor of pain through Angelus' damaged ears.

 **THWACK**

"But you weren't through. You kissed her. You kissed Lina. You FUCKED her, didn't you?!"

 **THWACK**

"I hate you! I hate you!", Buffy sobbed.

 **THWACK**

 **THWACK**

 **THWACK**

Angelus could not hold back his groan of pain as his world exploded in streaks of muscle, bone, and tissue. Her walls had come down. She was letting him into see EVERY thing that lay in her bloody box. This was what he wanted, regardless of the fact that he was receiving the worst beating of his life, he was finally in.

Every vulnerability, every doubt, every shame, every hurt, every love-it was all there for him to see.

And she was hardly finished...

"Then you showed them what should only between us. You let them see me. Why Angelus, WHY?!" Buffy was crying so loudly that her words were barely audible.

 _I regret it more than you know lover._

 **THWACK**

"You raped me! In front of them! How could you?!"

 **THWACK**

"But you weren't done. You tortured me with the threat of killing Paul. You showed me how powerless I am around you!"

 **THWACK**

"Then you made me tell you that I belong to you." Tearing away her rabid gaze from the bloody and broken body at her feet Buffy turned a tear streaked face up to the ceiling. "My God, how can you do this to me? Where are you? I can't feel this way for him, I can't!"

Looking away from the heavens Buffy hatefully spat, "Because of you I lie to my mother, to my friends, to my Watcher! I lie to protect this dirty secret that I'm bound to!"

 **THWACK**

"You come into my home, manipulate me, my mother. You kiss me then you laugh with her! How come you never smile at me the way you do her?!"

 **THWACK**

"Then you make me play sick games with you! You make me like it! You make me want to feel you beat me with your crop!"

 **THWACK**

"You make me suck your cock, swallow your cum, and then you make me beg for it! You make me beg you to beat me! There! I can say it! It's true! I LIKED IT! I'm a whore for you Angelus! I'm a whore because I want more than this from you!"

 **THWACK**

 **THWACK**

 **THWACK**

 **THWACK**

"Nothing but a whore!" Flinging away the iron poker Buffy collapsed to the floor, her body convulsing from the strength of her sobs. Slowly she could feel the sanity returning to her mind. The awful darkness of pure pain was leaving her-leaving in its place something even more painful.

It was all out. Every dark, dirty secret out in the open.

Shifting her head to the side Buffy finally saw Angelus with clarity. Immediately she began to vomit what little dinner she had in her stomach. The sight that greeted her tear-swollen eyes caused another heave to rack her body. There was bits of bone, muscle, hair, and teeth all on the floor around his prone body.

Looking down at her arms Buffy let out a sob of grief. Blood. So much blood everywhere. It had splattered all over her, coating her forearms with a crimson streaks. Despite the darkness of the floor Buffy could see the sickening sheen of blood. The violence she had done to him could never be forgiven.

How could she have been capable of such a thing?

"Oh my God! What have I done? How could I have done this to him? What kind of person am I? Oh my God!"

Ignoring the pile of vomit Buffy dropped to her side and brought her legs up to her chest. A keening cry of terrible anguish tore through her throat. She had never lost control like that. Ever. Not after all that happened in the last couple of months, not even after last Sunday. Could she have damaged him beyond complete healing?

He was so still. The memories scalded her brain as she saw herself standing over his body, bringing the vicious iron poker down on his flesh over and over and over and over...

Digging her fists into her eyes Buffy screamed, "NO, NO, NO!"

What if she had punctured his back with the poker and pierced his heart? Flinging her hands away from her eyes Buffy quickly saw the impossibility of her fear. If she had done so he would be nothing more than a pile of ash. She should be an expert on vampire death by now. But Angelus lay there so still, his head turned away so that she couldn't see him at all.

"Angelus, Angelus...oh God I'm so sorry!" Buffy's body stiffened as the pain of the act relentlessly clawed away at her. It wounded her until she could barely breathe. She had viciously attacked him when his back was turned and then the rest...

Buffy stuffed a fist in her mouth. She felt as if she were dying. Even after everything Angelus had done to her, he had NEVER done something like this to her. Even tonight had not been as cold-blooded as what she had just committed.

She had hurt him. She had hurt the very same body that had given her so much love when Angel and so much pleasure with Angelus.

Buffy did not know what to do. She wanted to go to him, she wanted to help him, but if she did and found out that she couldn't help him...

She was worse than a whore. She was a coward as well.

Crawling across the floor Buffy's stomach roiled as the blood painted her skin bright red. She would never forgive herself for what she did.

Never. What he did and what she felt no longer mattered. THIS is what she had done.

The Slayer, the one meant to be a beacon of light amidst the night, was capable of this ugliness.

Reaching his motionless body Buffy began to sob loudly. Reaching out a hand she picked a large piece of bone from his matted black hair. "A-Angelus...p-please, p-lease..." He never responded. Laying in the filth that she herself had created, Buffy cries shook her body as she laid herself on her lover.

"My lover...mine...what have I done?" Grief stricken she kissed the cold, red flesh of his back.

After several minutes of this Buffy gathered the courage to turn his body over. Angelus' face appeared to be carved from marble, he was so still, so pale. Leaning forward Buffy kissed his mouth pleading for him to, "Open your eyes. Please be okay...please."

She begged without shame, needing for him to show her the ebony of his gaze once more. Then the truth of it all finally dawned on her.

She loved him.

Gasping from the force of her tears Buffy could not believe it. After all that had happened, after all he was, how could it be?

She loved Angelus fiercely.

The truth spread through every part of Buffy as she finally saw what the madness of the past weeks was really about. She had taken all of his abuse as punishment, that much was true. But somehow she found herself loving him. Maybe it was because of their first night. He had been so tender while taking care of her wounds.

No. That wasn't it.

Angel had won her love with tenderness and kindness. Angelus had captured her love with brutality and arrogance. Kissing his firm, cold lips Buffy felt her love was different than her love for Angel. This was sharper, much more painful. It was a merciless passion of the heart.

If she hadn't loved him, she wouldn't have taken all of his...

Buffy did not have a chance to continue her thoughts for she felt Angelus stir. Pulling away from his body Buffy watched him intently. There! He moved his leg.

The relief she felt almost made her collapse. He was going to heal. She knew it in her gut.

And now she also knew that she loved him.

She could not bear to face him now. Not now. Her heart would not be able to take it. Regardless of what she felt it did not mean that he felt it as well. After the beating she had given, Buffy believed that once he got up he would try to kill her.

And now she also knew that she would not want to stop him.

After all this night had wrought, a lesson of will had held most strongly: will was not enough. Sometimes will was what drove one to madness. The absolute need for control at times brought a total lack of control.

Finding her feet Buffy sped to the main hall all the while crying the soul-shattering tears that would not let her forget nor forgive. Bending down she saw that her clothes were scattered alongside his. The dark, rich scent of Angelus rose to meet her, strong yet not powerful enough to eradicate the stench of blood that hung heavily about her body. Quickly she pushed her head through the tight neck of her sweater before pulling up her jeans.

"Buffy!"

Freezing at the sound of Angelus' voice Buffy's heart began to beat so strongly it almost choked her. Shoving her sockless feet into her shoes Buffy quickly fled up the stairs. Punching in the code she rushed into the elevator. Before the doors closed completely she saw a shadow of movement speeding towards her.

Angelus.

Staring at the closed doors Angelus focused his mind on her, feeling the tumultuous emotions that swirled around her. Looking down at himself Angelus frowned with an edge of distaste. The gore was all over his body. The smell of vomit permeated his skin while the blood had stained it red.

He could hardly go after her with just a pair of lounging pants on. Running into the living room he put on the discarded clothes as quickly as Buffy put hers on. He sensed that she was already outside as he stepped into the elevator.

Angelus could not quite take in the events that would have him chasing his mistress down the streets of Sunnydale. Impatiently waiting for the elevator to make its descent he heard Buffy's sobs in his ears. All the misery and grief she had shown during her madness doubled when she had realized what she had committed.

Angelus heard everything she had said and done.

He had fully expected her to either continue to beat him until she passed out from exhaustion or to evenutally stop and leave. He had not expected her to cry as if all the pain in the world was trapped inside her body. He had not expected to hear her sob his name with such misery.

And he had never expected her to lay herself on him and plead with him to wake up.

Feeling the elevator give a tiny lurch he barely gave the doors time to slide open before he was through them. Striding across the entry way in a blur he heard the two old men babbling at the concierge counter. Ignoring them both he reached the door when he heard them speaking of Buffy.

"Did you see the way she tore out of here? Crying and covered with blood! I'm calling the police-"

"Robert you can't!", the clerk cried while pulling the desk phone away.

Pulling back the phone the doorman stated, "Simon she could be hurt!"

"You know the rules concerning Mr. Gryphon-"

"To HELL with the rules Simon! That girl could be hurt and Mr. Gryphon can go to HELL too!" Their conversation abruptly ended when they both realized that Mr. Gryphon stood but a few feet away. Dumbly holding the phone Robert Lamarr forced himself to tighten the grip as terror threatened to overwhelm him.

The tall intimidating man did not look like a man. He looked like a beast. Dried blood was caked down the side of his face while his dark hair appeared matted with something wet as well. But it wasn't the blood that made Mr. Gryphon look inhuman. It was the emptiness inside his black eyes that made Robert want to scream with fear.

"Listen to your friend Simon, Robbie. What occurs between me and _that girl_ is none of your concern. You WILL turn a blind eye to anything you see or hear. Am I making myself clear?"

His throat convulsing with fear Simon unconsciously clutched Robert's arm while nodding his head rapidly. "O-of c-c-course M-Mr. G-Gryphon!"

Pinning his lethal gaze upon Robert's face Angelus read the terror there in the clear eyes. He also saw the courage battling with the fear. "She looks hurt," was all the old man could say even as the fear threatened to close up his throat.

"She's not. Now put the phone down Robbie." Calmly Angelus waited until the doorman reluctantly set the phone back in its cradle. "Remember what I said, both of you-turn a blind eye while it's still your choice." With that Angelus stalked out of the building, fully confident that his orders would be obeyed.

Using his keen vision and his senses Angelus quickly determined that Buffy had headed in the opposite direction of her house. Although weaker than he'd like to be, he was much more stronger than he would have been if he hadn't been drinking Buffy's blood. Even in this state he was many times more powerful than the completely healthy version of himself prior to their transformation.

Speeding through the streets he quickly gained ground on Buffy. Through the cemetaries he sought his mistress, surprised when she moved past them. They were heading towards the woods. Within a couple of minutes he could hear her sobs from a distance, the hoarse wrenching cries that choked her with tears.

Running as fast as her legs would take her, Buffy's eyes streamed with tears while her nose was clogged from the force of her grief. Tearing through the woods she could feel the skeletal limbs scratching her cruelly. The dense underbrush muffled the sound of her steps while exposed roots threatened to trip her at any moment.

 _I love him. I love him. I love him._

The litany repeated itself over and over again, interposing itself with other thoughts, creating an unforgiving tableau of love and hate. The horrific images rose up to greet her stricken mind, torturing her with scene after scene of gruesome carnage.

Finally she stopped in the middle of a clearing, head flung back and fists clenched. Even now she could hear her fingers stick together, the blood of Angelus' body providing the morbid method of cohesion. "Oh God, please, please forgive me!" she noisily sobbed, trying in vain to get enough oxygen into her lungs.

"I don't think God is the one you should be asking forgiveness."

Whipping her head around Buffy saw Angelus standing in the clearing with her. Running her gaze down his body she noted with relief the solidness of his stance. It was only when she saw his face that her own twisted with pain.

Raising her bloodied hands to her face Buffy sank to the ground on her knees as she sobbed her heart's grief out. He was going to make her pay for what she had done to him. Tonight he had proven to her that he never forgot any slight towards him and that he always collected his debts. Now that she knew she loved him Buffy did not know how she was going to survive his wrath, for she would lift a finger in her own defense.

When she felt the weight of his hands on her shoulders Buffy thought that perhaps this would be poetic justice. Afterall, hadn't she killed Angel with her body? What better punishment if Angelus attempted to kill her as well with Angel's?

Perhaps Giles and Ms. Calendar were wrong about Acrymydion and the whole prophesy period. Maybe there was another one that they didn't even know about, one that stated this:

 _She who is of the light will be extinguished by he who is of the dark_

As Buffy steadied herself to accept whatever Angelus chose to give her, she felt him wrap his arms about her. She felt him stroke her hair before directing her head to his chest. It only took a moment for her to realize that his hands were not curled into unforgiving fists meant to pound her flesh, but were instead stroking her body gently.

Twining her arms about his neck Buffy cried loudly, wetting his chest with tears. "I-I-I'm s-so s-s-sorry! I-I-I d-don't k-know w-what h-h-happened t-t-o me! I-I s-should've n-n-NEVER d-did t-that!"

Angelus held her tightly against him, allowing his pet to cry against him, silently offering her the comfort she so desperately needed. Finally he pulled away slightly before tilting up her chin. Even in the darkness he could see how swollen her eyes were, the force of her pain never allowing them to go down. "Do you know why this happened?", he softly asked in a soothing tone.

Quickly Buffy shook her head, not fully believing that Angelus was not raging at her. Perhaps it would happen later. Perhaps this was just the beginning of her punishment-a taste of forgiveness now before ugly revenge.

"No?"

"N-n-no."

"This happened because you kept yourself away from me. You kept all your feelings inside, pushing them down, pretending they never existed until finally-you became a murderous viper."

"N-no, I-I don't w-want t-to be-"

Smoothly Angelus broke in with, "Ssh, ssh, baby. It's going to be alright."

"I-it is?", she asked with such hope in her voice all the while clutching Angelus even more tightly than before.

Lightly kissing her trembling mouth Angelus promised, "It is. You know why?"

"N-no."

Smiling gently he murmured, "Because you're never, EVER going to hide what you feel from me again. You're going to show me everything that I want to see from now on...aren't you?"

Burying her head in his wide, strong chest Buffy fervently answered, "Yes, yes."

Pulling her head away he forced her to look at him. "That's good, baby, really good. Because if you don't, it's going to happen again and maybe with someone who can't take it." He saw how her face blanched and relished this complete moment of power. He had won.

She was now completely mallable to all of his desires.

When he lowered his head to hers Buffy intently searched his eyes. She could see no sign of madness in them at all. While they were hardly reflecting the peace Angel's eyes would have, what they did show was comfort. A part of her did not feel comfortable asking him anything, the other part would not hold back her thoughts. "Are you going to hurt me?"

Before tonight's events Buffy would have been disgusted by the pitiful tone that laced her words. Now it no longer mattered. She would do whatever it took to never go back to that dark place. Whatever it took.

Placing his hand on her cheek Angelus merely took her lips with his own, delving deeply within her warm trembling mouth. Buffy clung to him, molding her very shape to fit his own. She could hardly hold back her hungers, desperately needing to feel this man touch her and make her his own.

Especially after what she had done...

Pulling away from his mouth Buffy gasped, the cold night air searing her lungs. Touching his face with her hand Buffy saw the crimson stains contrast obscenely against his pallid cheek. Her eyes immediately filled with tears. Swallowing thickly she brokenly said, "P-please forgive me."

The triumph Angelus felt almost made him lose control. To see the Slayer on her knees, tears streaming down her face, begging his forgiveness...it was divine.

While he couldn't look upon her assault of his body with fondness, Angelus knew that he could never have planned things this perfectly. It was as if she had forgotten every insult he had inflicted upon her body tonight.

All she could remember was what SHE had done.

It was as he believed. Buffy hated losing control as much as he did.

Now ALL her barriers were down. She was so ripe to be molded, to be everything he had ever desired in a woman. Buffy Summers would be his perfect mistress yet.

She had asked if he would hurt her. His heart gave a ruthless smile. _Oh darling little Buffy, yes I will hurt you. More than even you can imagine. But don't worry darling, like I told you-there can pleasure in this too._ He wouldn't punish her for the insanity that had possessed her, afterall, it was his loss of control that provoked it.

And now he had her completely.

Angelus placed his hand over hers and answered, "I'll forgive you-if you show me how sorry you really are."

Her eyes held his steadily. She knew he wanted her to show him with her body. Always her body. The voice of her conscience shouted a denial before it was firmly quieted. She would not keep herself away from him.

Never again.

Much later after their needs had been satisfied, Angelus held Buffy's small form against his chest and coldly smiled while pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

There was no doubt that he would keep the Slayer firmly under his fist. All that he had exposed her to was just foreplay. From this moment on the taste of their passions would become darker, rich in decadent flavor. Buffy would accept all that he showed her, and would either love it, or find a way to do so.

The irony of it all was she would accept his passion, for fear that if she did not...

...she would lose her own.


	25. Chapter 25

After several days of cold weather, it was a wonderfully warm day that greeted the residents of Sunnydale. Still officially being in the midst of winter, this change of climate was one that was heartily welcomed. A sense of spring fever euphoria seemed to invade the students as they walked across the campus, baring as much skin as possible.

Buffy lifted her face to the sun as she strolled the grounds of Sunnydale High, smiling and occasionally murmuring something as Willow and Xander excitedly spoke about the weather.

Loosely swinging his arms in front of his body Xander took a deep breath before exclaiming, "Man, this is my first breath of Sunnydale air this year that has YET to carry a certain piquant flavor known as L.A. smog!"

Both girls obligingly took their own deep breaths before agreeing with an, "I think you're right." and a "Definitely."

Buffy scanned the green expanse of grass, looking for a clear spot. The only ones inside were probably faculty and staff, and only because they had to be. Thinking about Giles she wondered if he had any news concerning Acrymydion. Taking another breath of fresh air Buffy recognized how her prophecy had taken less and less importance during the last week.

Today was training day and Buffy eagerly looked forward to it. Her body's sporadic weakness had clearly left her, leaving in its place an incredible strength. Just keeping control of it in front of Giles would prove to be a challenge, but it was one she needed. Buffy's stomach clenched as the violent image of blood, bone, and black hair assaulted her memories.

She WOULD learn to control it.

Pointing to an empty patch among the masses Buffy suggested, "Hey, what about that one?"

A reply was not really necessary because the trio immediately began quickly walking to claim their spot. Plopping himself down on his side Xander patted the grass and winningly suggested for, "My two ladies to rest themselves with the company of so noble a knight such as _moi_."

Arching a brow at him Buffy eased herself on the soft grass and leaned back on her arms. "Actually paid attention in World Lit. today, huh Xander?"

Grinning widely he reached out with one digit and tapped Buffy's nose. "Especially today."

Sitting cross-legged Willow softly asked, "What was so special about today?"

Letting his head lean back Xander recited as one in a wonderful delirium, "It was circle day-" Buffy groaned knowing that her upcoming class would involve turning her desk to be "at one" with her fellow classmates. Wait a minute. If it was circle day then that meant…

"We had to read out loud-"

Groaning even louder Buffy asked, with an amused frown while meeting Willow's eyes, "I thought you hated reading anything out loud. Something about it violating your rights to not pay attention?"

"I do! But today was different, because SHE was reading and looking right at ME."

"I thought Cordelia took World Lit. during first," Willow commented while trying to keep her voice mildly disinterested. Only the brief flash of pain that crossed her eyes belied all her good intentions. Buffy could see that while Willow was beginning to see Oz as more than a friend, the unrequited love she felt for Xander would take time to fade.

Unrequited love…

 _Moaning in his arms, the lust between them somehow shamefully aroused by the blood that stained their bodies, Buffy greedily tore his clothes off. She needed to feel him next to her, INSIDE of her._

 _The frigid air did little to dampen the heat that burned throughout her body. Buffy could see that the thick beating of her heart tempted Angelus even as she dug her fingers into his shoulders. His beautiful mouth opened slightly while he held the base of her neck in his strong, deadly hand. He leaned his head forward and took deep breaths alongside her throat, the pleasure he took from acknowledging her blood's rhythm evident by the purr his throat emitted._

Mentally shaking her head Buffy brought her suddenly scattered thoughts back to the present.

"Cordy? Oh, yeah she takes it first. No, I'm talking about a girl who has a voice to rival the Sirens."

Quirking an auburn brow Willow asked, "Did she sing?"

Bringing his head up Xander confusedly questioned, "Sing? Why would you ask that?"

"Because that's what the Sirens did," Buffy explained before looking back at Willow. "Right Will?"

Nodding once Willow began fiddling with her shoestring as she casually queried, "So if it's not Cordelia, who then?"

Sitting upright Xander scanned the faces around them until he found one in particular. "Look, over there by all the girls in black."

Lifting her chin Buffy looked across the campus until she found the right group of girls. "Which one is she?"

"The one with curly black hair. It's pulled up into a ponytail."

"Cynthia?" Willow asked for confirmation.

Smiling broadly Xander nodded. "Yep, that's her. Man, she has a voice you wouldn't believe! And the eyes to match it!"

Buffy stared at Cynthia, her senses stirring once again before they quieted down. There was just something that didn't feel right about her, something that alerted Buffy to be wary of the new girl.

"Looks like she's making friends," Willow commented casually.

"Yeah, it does," Buffy replied while noticing the _friends_ she made. There were about five girls in total, nothing unusual in itself except that they were all Goths. After her experience with Ford, Buffy always made sure that she kept an eye on that particular type of group. Nobody in Sunnydale was immune from the darkness that lurked in the night, but it was the hauntingly lovely black-clad kids like those in Cynthia's company that were especially vulnerable.

They chose to believe in the beauty of the night and refused to see the crimson that stained it black.

 _Taking her lips in a punishing kiss Angelus leaned back, bringing Buffy up with him. Straddling her across his lap he slid his hands up her torso, taking special care with her breasts before violently ripping her sweater in half._

" _ **Aah!"**_ _she cried out against his cold lips, the slight sound lost forever to the night as Angelus once again greedily took possession of his mistress' mouth._

 _After several minutes of writhing on his lap and nearly suffocating from lack of oxygen, Buffy leaned her head back and took great gasps of air when he began licking the skin of her throat._

 _Tasting the dried richness of their blood Angelus pulled away before firmly putting a hand on either side of her head. Looking deeply into her pained and lustful gaze he thickly stated,_ _ **"You and I are the same Buff."**_

 _Staring back into the blackness of his eyes Buffy tried to shake her head, but his grip would not allow it. Instead she satisfied herself with the softly spoken denial of,_ _ **"No Angelus, we are NOT the same."**_

 _The familiar fury was neither to be found in his touch, nor his gaze. Instead, Angelus merely smiled._

"You guys know her?"

Looking back at Xander Buffy replied, "She's in our third period class."

Memory righted itself in his mind as he murmured, "Oh, she's the new girl that Harmony was such a bitch to!" Shifting up he exclaimed, "That wench! I don't even know why Cordy bothers to hang out with her!"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's like that saying goes: _Birds of a feather_ ," Willow pondered wryly.

Buffy flashed her smile that was greeted with an amazingly catty one in return. It was there and gone in a flash of a moment, but it was there nonetheless.

"Okay, now there you go again! Cordelia may be many things, and believe me she IS, but a bird is NOT one of them…"

Unrequited love can fade, but more times than not it stubbornly takes hold, summoning forth all kinds of unusual behavior…

 _Buffy felt the tightening of her gut. Swiftly looking away she bit her lip fiercely while the strengthening hunger began to consume her. In this moment there was no one else in the world. All the shadows that were before still existed, but now they had the ability to blend into the night of pain and guilt._

" _ **You LIKED it, didn't you?"**_

 _Quickly Buffy brought her tormented gaze back up to Angelus._ _ **"NO!"**_ _she vehemently denied._

 _Smirking his smirk he silkily stated,_ _ **"Yes you did. I saw you Buff. You and you alone, have given me the worst beating of my existence."**_

 _She felt the nausea rush up her throat again as the tears burned hotly in her eyes._ _ **"I didn't mean to-"**_

" _ **Cut the bullshit Buff. You MEANT exactly what you did. In that moment, in that time, you meant it."**_

 _Staring him fully in the face Buffy tensely asked,_ _ **"You hate me for it, don't you?"**_

 _Leaning into her throat Angelus answered,_ _ **"Oh I hate you alright darling, but not for that."**_ _Before she could respond with words he sunk his fangs deeply within the side of her neck. The force of his bite roughly brought her to the frozen ground. Clutching the back of his head Buffy moaned loudly as her body quickly fled past the excruciating white-hot burn to the molten rivers of pleasure._

 _Just as the peak of orgasm hit Buffy she brokenly pleaded without thought nor pride,_ _ **"Please d-don't hate me-not w-when I love you!"**_

As Xander defended his "Cordy" Buffy felt a shadow cross her soul, rudely shredding her very thoughts. Shivering slightly she glanced up and locked eyes on Cynthia. The beautiful girl was staring at her, not a flicker of emotion to be seen in her wonderfully dark eyes.

Despite the lack of unfriendliness in her face Buffy felt as if she was being challenged. Her instincts became angered by the unspoken. Coolly she peered up at the girl, daring her to make a move.

Usually people backed away when faced with her "Slayer" gaze, but not this time. Cynthia continued to hold her stare before briefly smiling. Buffy felt a start of surprise but it did not translate to her countenance at all. The contact was eventually broken when Cynthia finally looked away and looked down into Xander's besotted face.

"Xander-I just wanted to say hi." Her voice was softly sweet yet quietly seductive. Nothing obvious and perhaps not even intentional, but the spoken words could cause young men to think of thoughts that had nothing to do with what was being said.

"Hi," Xander answered in return, hard pressed to keep the drool from seeping down his chin.

A moment passed before Cynthia murmured, "Well, I'll see you later." Including his friends in her gaze she said, "See you tomorrow in third."

Both Willow and Buffy returned with, "Yeah, see you tomorrow."

"Bye," Xander inanely said while widely grinning. As soon as Cynthia was out of earshot he turned to Buffy and Willow and swore, "Oh, she wants me! She just came by to say hi-", his frown of skepticism was apparent before he confidently said, "Oh, yeah, she wants me."

Staring at her retreating figure Buffy's thoughts worked to make sense of what she was feeling. Cynthia was different, there was no doubt about it now, but how?

Differences. There were so many facets to them…

 _Buffy's eyes flew open when she realized what she had just confessed to. Angelus supported his weight on his arms as he leaned over her shocked body. His lips curled into a cold smile, the glint of crimson blood flashing brightly against his teeth._

 _Gasping Buffy immediately threw him off her body. Leaping to her feet she instantly ran deeper into the woods. Tearing past the branches that would seek to keep her, Buffy did not cry. She did not sob. She just ran. The farther that she ran, the farther away she kept herself from…_

… _the spoken truth._

 _It would destroy her. Loving Angelus would be her final downfall. How could it even be possible? How did she go from loving Angel to loving Angelus?_

 _Feeling the pained cry her heart gave Buffy knew without a doubt that she still loved Angel and all the memories they shared. But now there was more._

 _Much, much more._

"You better not let Cordelia hear about _Cynthia the Siren_ ," Willow sternly warned.

Xander's face fell as he vehemently defended himself, "Hey! Cordy is my one and only Will! Just because the women of Sunnydale High," at this his chest seemed to expand pompously, "are finally noticing what a catch I am-doesn't mean that I'd leave what I have with her."

Gaining to their feet Willow casually asked, "So what exactly DO you have with her?" as they made their way inside.

Nudging Willow's arm Buffy mouthed the word, "Catty" with a wink and a smile. Willow silently answered in return, "I know!"

The rest of Buffy's afternoon went by quickly until she soon found herself in the library. Idly she sat at the end of a table, her foot swinging back and forth. Dressed in a pair of gray exercise pants and a matching close-fitting top, Buffy was ready for the sweatiness that was training.

She was ready and waiting.

And waiting.

And waiting.

Finally the door to the librarian's office opened up. Giles and Ms. Calendar immediately stepped out of the small room. "Truly I'm, umm, sorry to hear about your computer's, umm, infection."

Smiling wryly Jenny laughingly corrected him with, "Virus Rupert."

"Oh yes, umm, of course. Virus." Mouthing the word silently he completely gave the appearance of mentally categorizing the term for future reference.

The amused expression fled her face as she murmured, "It doesn't appear that any files are missing."

"Well good, very good."

Stopping by Buffy Jenny looked at the young girl and greeted her with a warm, "Hello Buffy."

Smiling Buffy returned the greeting of "hello". She could see the uncertainness in Ms. Calendar's gaze. Things had returned to the way they were, after a fashion. Demon prophecies had a way of just "bringing people together". She was no longer excluded from the group, nor was she treated with any hostility, but the spark of pure friendship and trust was gone. At least in Buffy's life.

Just like Angel was.

 _It was all different again. Nothing would ever be the same. Not like there was a chance before that it would, but now… Buffy the Vampire Slayer was passionately in love with Angelus the Demon Vampire._

 _It was all so wrong for words, much less deeds._

 _How much more Lord? How much more would she have to endure?_

 _Becoming the Slayer had in many ways been a burden to her life, but at least it and now her life served a purpose. Although she had given up so much of herself, and undoubtedly would continue to do so in the future-_

 _The future._

 _She did not have much time left for her future. Less than two months were left between now and her prophesized destiny._

 _And how was she spending these precious few moments? Loving a creature that knew love only as a macabre tool of destruction._

 _And she had just stupidly given him the weapon herself._

Turning back to Giles Jenny said, "I just don't understand how it could have happened!"

"What?" Buffy asked with a curious tone to her voice.

Giles looked at his Slayer as he explained, "Ms. Calendar's computer was, umm, apparently breached by a-" His pause was slight as he obviously pulled out the filed word and said, "Virus."

Hopping off the table Buffy exclaimed, "Computer talk. Okay, I'm already lost."

Buffy already knew what happened, courtesy of her enhanced hearing. It seemed that she was beginning to have the ability to control it at will; the sporadic rush of noise assaulted her less and less.

Nobody seemed to notice any new physical changes. Buffy was unsure if she even looked as she did the day Angelus altered her body.

Mirthlessly smiling Buffy wondered at how she could be so empty inside that none of this shocked her. Death, change, betrayal…

None of it was as shocking to her as love.

 _Buffy felt a hand cruelly wrench her arm back. Roughly she was turned to face Angelus._ _ **"The time for running is long gone, Slayer."**_

 _Her body stiffened as she heard the mockery clear in his voice._

 _Feeling it beneath his hands Angelus taunted her with,_ _ **"You getting mad babe? Should I watch for any hidden pokers?"**_

 _Blanching at the fresh memories his words brought Buffy fought to keep her composure._

 _Wolfishly smiling he leaned in and whispered in a singsong voice,_ _ **"I-heard-you-lover!"**_

 _Staring him fully in the eyes Buffy could feel her own fill with foolish tears. God! All she ever did now was cry! Shutting her eyes closed she waited for the precious few seconds of silence to give her the strength she needed to put up her wall._

 _When she opened them again all the tears were gone, but they remained on the inside, pouring over her soul. By the time her life was over, how dark would her soul be? Would it be blackened beyond forgiveness?_

"So, is your pc alright now?"

Crossing her arms in front of her body Ms. Calendar nodded. "I've run a security breach program to see exactly what, if anything, was tampered. So far, it seems that whoever sent the virus just sent it, without really wanting anything more."

Arching her brows Buffy mused, "Kind of a small-time hacker just coming around to say _Boo_?"

"That's the way it seems." Looking between Giles and Buffy, Ms. Calendar smiled once before briskly stating, "Well, I'll just get out of the way so you two can train."

"See ya!" Buffy casually threw over her shoulder as she bent down to re-tie her shoe. Discreetly looking up between the fringes of her eyelashes she watched as Giles' and Ms. Calendar's eyes met. The look that passed between them was not one of amorous intentions, but more of uncertainty and warning.

What were they hiding from her?

" _ **I hate you."**_ _The three words complimented the hardness of her voice. She did hate him. There was no lie to her words. If only that was all there was…_

" _ **Don't try to hide the truth from me lover,"**_ _Angelus amiably warned Buffy. Leaning closer he confided, with a sudden hard edge to his voice,_ _ **"You know how much I hate lying."**_

 _Lifting her chin forward Buffy mockingly asked,_ _ **"Don't think it's possible for me to hate you, lover? Why's it such a stretch for you? After all, the least of your crimes was what you did to me tonight."**_

" _ **And how did you repay me Buff? You went fucking crazy."**_

 _Buffy felt the nausea rise in her throat again. Hoarsely she stated, all the bravado gone from her voice,_ _ **"Chaining someone to the wall, beating them, and then fucking them would do that to any normal person."**_

 _Smirking he asked,_ _ **"But you're not normal, are you? I can understand a NORMAL person doing something that brutal, but you?"**_ _Roughly bringing her body closer to his Angelus sneered,_ _ **"You're the Slayer! The chosen meant to vanquish the dark, champion the good, and be a model of sainthood for all mankind!"**_

" _ **Stop that!"**_

" _ **Stop what? You want me to stop telling you the truth about yourself?"**_

" _ **Truth? You don't know anything about truth Angelus!"**_

" _ **That's where you're wrong SLAYER. I know plenty about truth."**_ _Placing his lips beside her small ear he mockingly bragged,_ _ **"I told you the truth a few nights ago. I TOLD you that there would come a time that you'd love me. In fact, I promised that you would."**_ _Leaning back from Buffy, Angelus' gaze stared into hers._ _ **"I always keep my promises Buff-always."**_

 _The cold was beginning to pierce her skin, causing Buffy to wish that he hadn't torn off her sweater. Mild surprise laced her thoughts as she realized that she was standing there braless. She was becoming so accustomed to being nude in front of Angelus, that each time she shed her clothes it was a little easier than it was the last time._

 _Only this time she didn't take off her sweater, it was ripped from her body._

" _ **Let go of me,"**_ _she stiffly ordered._

 _Angelus merely squeezed her arms harder._ _ **"Never,"**_ _he softly swore._ _ **"I'm never letting go of you Buffy. Especially not now."**_

 _Her eyes darkened as she heard him say her name. She could count on one hand the number of times he called her Buffy. Somehow it made his words all the more compelling, and all the more frightening._

" _ **You can't keep me Angelus, not unless I want you to,"**_ _she softly charged._

" _ **But don't you see? You DO want me to,"**_ _he confidently responded before gently laying his lips against hers. His touch was feather-soft, the cold of his mouth intoxicating against the heat of Buffy's. The contrast of his hands against his lips intricately entwined and glorified the pleasure and pain of being with him._

 _Buffy was completely lost._

 _Pulling away from her he darkly ordered,_ _ **"Never run from me, lover. If you do, I'll hunt you down to the ends of the earth. Don't test me on this Buffy."**_

 _She felt the menace from his words snake down her spine._

 _Seeing it he smiled once more._ _ **"I promise you won't like it."**_

 _Closing her eyes Buffy insanely thought that at this moment, a wedding of sorts was occurring. He was pledging to keep her by his side, whether she wished it or not. She was pledging to love him, whether she wished it or not._

 _Whether she wished it or not..._

Standing up Buffy lithely stretched her arms above her head before twisting her torso to one side then the other. The library doors swung shut with a 'swish' as Ms. Calendar exited. Now it was just Slayer and Watcher. Pasting a smile on her face Buffy bounced over to Giles. "Ready?"

Nodding shortly Giles remarked while walking to the weapons case, "It's rare to see you so eager Buffy."

Pouting slightly she complained, "What? I LIKE training!"

"As opposed to shopping?"

Arching a brow Buffy corrected him. "That's Cordelia."

Returning with a staff and pounds of padding, Giles stopped in the middle of the cleared library floor. "I stand corrected."

Assuming her position across from him Buffy took comfort in the lighthearted conversation. It was one that hadn't happened consistently in far too long. Looking into Giles' eyes she could see that the shadows of the past few weeks were barely there. Feeling a shaft of warmth, Buffy's mind was lightened by her Watcher's demeanor.

It was good that he was free from the demons of doubt and despair, even if for only a few moments.

 _Running his hands over the bare skin of her arms Angelus assumed the guise of caring and gentleness._ _ **"You're cold."**_ _Pulling her close to his body Angelus ran his hands over her bare back._ _ **"All the warmth of my darling is gone."**_

 _Buffy felt the sharp hunger that came from being in his embrace. A shiver coursed violently through her body when she felt his teeth gently close over the lobe of her ear._

 _Nuzzling his face against the side of hers Angelus whispered,_ _ **"I don't like her cold, I like her hot."**_ _Bringing Buffy down beneath him he seductively whispered against her lips,_ _ **"I like her hot, real hot, for me."**_

 _Buffy's legs widened to accept the length of his body. He warned her to never run from him; didn't he realize that she had not the strength to run from herself, much less him? If she could, she would have run from all of this a long time ago, but she couldn't._

 _Her fate was here. But Angelus did not have the final say._

The first blow that Giles delivered was blindingly quick, but Buffy avoided it with ease. Leaping back she soon saw him lift the staff, spinning it in his agile fingers before he brought it down in a low swing meant to sweep her off her feet. Jumping to the right she eased into the mindset that was part and parcel of her calling.

Giles had always trained her to make the minimum use of movement. Although impressed by her flips and showy kicks, he continuously advised her to conserve her strength, to attack with the least amount of motion. It had always been a lesson that was difficult for Buffy to master. In fact, she had never _really_ mastered it.

Until now.

It was coming all too easy. Buffy barely had time to react to her Watcher's blows but it was as if she could read his mind. Not his thoughts, but his body's minute reactions to those thoughts. Somehow she just KNEW when he was going to attack her right side three times, and when he was going to go from her head, to her knees, and then back to her head.

The sweat was pouring off Giles, in part to the padding, but mostly because of the concentration he was devoting to landing at least one blow on his Slayer.

With the events of the past month and a half Giles hadn't really had the time to focus on more than just the present catastrophes. First Angelus returning, the Judge, then Acrymydion, but now with at least the prophesy voided, he could return to noticing matters that were not relegated solely to texts.

Buffy's reflexes were honed to a perfection that he had never seen. Her speed and agility were of a quality that was beyond impressive. In a matter of a few weeks she had went from an impulsive, somewhat reckless fighter to a decisive, controlled warrior.

The longer they trained the more Giles saw that his initial observation not only was correct, but it was incomplete. Buffy was holding back. He could see it in the way she reacted to his attack. He could see it in her eyes.

Did she even realize how far she had come and how quickly?

That was what bothered him. It was too quick. How could Buffy come into her own that quickly? Unless the strain of the past weeks had brought forth her untapped abilities…

Of course! There could be other explanation.

 _Arching her back Buffy moaned as Angelus laid his lips against her breast. The way he lightly licked her flesh before greedily sucking her nipple into his mouth made her shiver with hunger._

 _Purring with pleasure Angelus murmured against her breast,_ _ **"I think she's getting hot here."**_ _Shifting his head he languorously caressed the other breast with his mouth and fingers._ _ **"Oh, she's still cold here. We can't have that…"**_

 _Entwining her fingers in his hair Buffy let the desire roll over her wanton body. She did not want to remember that this was a sin. She wanted to pretend that this was natural and beautiful. She wanted to forget._

 _And she was doing a good job of it until her fingers encountered the stiffness of his dried blood._

Buffy could see that Giles was becoming winded. Glancing briefly at the clock she mentally calculated how much time had passed. Thirty minutes. They had been practicing her defense for half an hour at a brutal pace. She wasn't even breathing heavy.

Looking at her Watcher Buffy could see the speculation in his eyes. She was controlling her abilities but it wasn't enough. Giles knew something was different. He wasn't a stupid man, but a professional trained to be observant to the point of uncanniness. To treat him with any less respect was an insult, and it meant she was getting sloppy.

Something she could ill afford to be.

As always, she was shocked that she had managed to keep her secret this long. Each day Buffy expected to be found out. There were already so many close calls, but as of the moment, no one knew.

However, Buffy acknowledged that she had to give the credit to her prophecy rather than her skill in deception. Giles had been immersed in texts ever since they found out about that nasty death warrant, therefore, leaving little room for else.

Mentally sighing Buffy wished that things could go back to the way they were. Not that things in Sunnydale were easy, but they weren't this damn stressful.

The next time Giles swung his staff Buffy did not leap out of the way.

 _Pulling her hand away Buffy could see the tiny red flakes that dusted her fingertips. Her arm went limp as her hand hit the cold ground._

 _There could be no forgetfulness for her. Not ever._

 _Stilling in his mouth's caresses, Angelus could feel the misery that permeated the girl beneath him. Smiling against her flesh he could quickly figure out what was running through her young mind. He had felt her small hand run through his hair. He had sensed when she encountered the blood of his wounds. He had heard when her hand hit the ground._

 _The utter anguish of her self-recriminations was arousing his possessiveness._

 _Gathering her body to his Angelus winningly plied her lips with his own. Docilely she opened to him, allowing his tongue to tease her mouth._ _ **Please, let me forget. Forget. Forget.**_

Abruptly pulling the staff to his side Giles quietly said, "We need to talk."

Buffy's heart dropped in her chest. What did he know?! What did they need to talk about?! Casually propping her hands on her hips, Buffy blew at a strand of hair that had fallen on her face. "About what?"

"About what?" Giles asked with utter disbelief. Gesturing from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet with his hand, he exclaimed, "About this Buffy!"

Buffy forced herself to continue breathing normally. "Giles-I don't think we're on the same page here." Keeping her gaze on his Buffy slightly turned her head to the side. "Really, I don't know what you're talking about."

Pulling the pads off his arms Giles quickly walked towards his Slayer. Internally Buffy winced. _Oh God._ Instead her Watcher firmly grasped her hands. "Buffy."

"Giles." Smiling briefly the excitement in his eyes had Buffy confused. He did not look furious, nor did he look betrayed, but he actually looked…happy?

Oh! There it was: a full-blown, cheek-splitting grin. Pulling her hands back Buffy wryly said, "Seriously, you're scaring me."

"Buffy you were holding back."

Looking up into her Watcher's eyes Buffy felt her world tilt.

 _The feeling of his tongue in her mouth was deliciously sinful. Clutching Angelus tightly to her body Buffy knew that this was empty. She knew that his comfort was mocking at best, sadistic at worst. She knew that there was no real tenderness._

 _The pain in her heart almost choked her._

 _None of this real but it was the only thing that mattered. Regardless of how it started, Buffy could not imagine not ever having this body next to hers. It was Angel's. It was Angelus'. It was theirs and she belonged to them both. The sweet, gentle love of a young girl's fantasies would always be with Angel. Not even Angelus could take that away, despite the torments he devised._

 _But there was more._

 _Now Buffy knew what true passion was and it was as addicting as tender love could ever be. Passion, PASSION was a greedy creature that could never truly be appeased. It beat against her heart with clawed fists, ripping and tearing at her flesh until the agony of it thrust her directly in the face of insanity._

 _And even then Passion was not satisfied._

 _Passion clutched Buffy by the throat, ruthlessly tightening its grip until she begged not for breath, but for Angelus. Always Angelus._

 _He was her enemy. He was a creature that detested humanity even in the midst of engorging himself on it. He was the ruthlessness of man magnified by his flaws._

 _He was also the vampire that brought her to heights of carnal gratification._

 _Yes, theirs was a union wrought by and for sex. But for Buffy she did not just see her time with him as just sex. She saw it as a battle. She prepared herself for confrontation. She felt loathing, fury, and misery._

 _Yet above all, Buffy lived with the disease that was her passion for Angelus._

"Holding back?" Walking to a nearby table Buffy needed to put distance between herself and Giles.

"Don't you realize what has happened to you?"

Silently Buffy shook her head, her throat thick with emotion. What was going to happen now?

"You've become faster, stronger, and more controlled than I've ever seen you."

"Giles…I don't-"

His excitement cleanly interrupted Buffy faltering attempts to divert him. Pulling off one arm pad after another Giles said, "I'm surprised that I've just now noticed it, but no matter." Walking towards his office he threw over his shoulder, "Naturally we must step up the intensive of your training, physically of course, but also the mental aspect."

"Mental?" Buffy called out, wondering why Giles wasn't freaking out. He knew she was different now but instead of pointing a finger at her and calling her **"BAD!"** , he was talking about training. Training?

Coming back out of his office Giles paced to a small bookshelf he kept behind the library counter. Squatting down he ran his fingers over several tomes, clearly focused on a new purpose.

Walking to the counter Buffy leaned over it and said, "Hello? Giles. Giles. Hey-Giles!"

"Hmm?" Still on level with the bookshelf Giles looked over his shoulder to see Buffy waiting for him with brow arched. "Yes Buffy?"

"Mental?"

Nodding his head once Giles stated, "Now that it seems that you've come into your own regarding your fighting abilities, we must begin strengthening your mind." Returning back to his task the Watcher began pulling out several books ranging in sizes. These he carefully placed on the floor next to him before pulling out a set of keys from his pocket.

Buffy stood there, her mind in a mental whirl. Was this normal?

 _Feeling his hand decadently slide up her chilled thigh Buffy pulled her mouth back and harshly bit Angelus' lower lip. The rumble of laughter thrilled her even as she hungrily licked his neck before leaning up and biting his earlobe. Angelus did not bother to hide the shiver that racked his massive body._

 _Buffy felt a frenzy possess her as she laved his skin with her tongue before nipping it with blunt teeth. Digging her fingers into the cold skin of his chest she wantonly pressed herself against him, needing to appease the hunger within. It rose and shrieked dementedly, the blood of her heart pounding loudly in her ears while the strength of her passion threatened to overwhelm._

 _Angelus' fingers smoothly parted the soft flesh that was Buffy, allowing his fingers to teasingly slide up and down her warmth. Her response was immediate and pleasing to him. Her body's heat scalded him as his fingers slowly sank inside of her. Bending his head Angelus languorously teased Buffy's nipple with the tip of his tongue._ _ **"Oh my girl is hot here, very hot."**_

 _Moaning softly Buffy murmured,_ _ **"Now. I need you now."**_

 _Wickedly smiling against her naked skin Angelus angled his fingers so that the palm of his hand lay flat on her mound._ _ **"I don't think you're hot enough Buff."**_

 _Shaking her head, the frigid foliage entangling itself in her hair, Buffy babbled,_ _ **"I'm hot! Real hot!"**_

 _Needing to hear her beg Angelus slowly rotated his palm and was rewarded with his mistress' pained cry of pleasure._

Watching Giles scoot down further Buffy watched him fit a tiny gold key into a small safe. Cocking her head to the side she commented, "Funny, I never noticed that before."

Removing a locked box from the safe Giles answered, "I've never had to open it until now." Placing it in front of Buffy he then bent down and carefully lifted the pile of books from the floor and placed those in front of her as well.

Curiosity was pretty strong by this point, so strong that Buffy was intrigued by all the preparation Giles was taking. Still, maybe she was misunderstanding her Watcher. "Giles?"

Fitting another key into the locked box he distractedly murmured, "Yes?"

Several moments of silence passed until finally Giles looked up. Waiting until she caught his gaze Buffy asked, "What do you think has happened to me?"

Stilling in his task he replied, "You've become stronger-"

"Yes, but I mean WHY do you think I've changed?"

Giles was about to answer when he paused and rethought her question. Coming to an understanding he quietly said, "Slayers generally do not live long. You know that."

Buffy nodded once.

"Sometimes there are those who do, despite many trials. Those who do generally change somewhat."

"Change." Glancing down briefly Buffy thought about her new circumstances. Were they not so new after all? Had they happened before? Looking back up she softly asked, "Like me?"

"Each Slayer is different. Some gained extraordinary agility. Others gained an advanced ability to endure pain. While still others gained keener vision." Pinning her with his gaze Giles emphasized, "But all of them, **ALL** of them, only came into her own gift under great duress."

Holding his gaze steadily Buffy somberly said, "You mean they almost died."

"Yes." Pausing briefly Giles looked into the distance and murmured, "I expected it to happen after your encounter with the Master, but it didn't." Returning back to Buffy he continued with, "But then again, you are the only Slayer that has ever come back from death."

Digesting this Buffy tried to understand what had happened to her. All the Slayers before who had _"changed"_ only did so after nearly dying. She had almost died, at least it felt like it did, when Angelus had nearly drained her.

"The difference with you once more Buffy is that you haven't nearly died."

 _Clutching his neck Buffy arched into his hand while she moaned softly. Furiously nuzzling him with her mouth she panted,_ _ **"Please…please…please."**_

 _Removing his hand from her Angelus lazily circled the wet fingers across her stomach._ _ **"Please what?"**_ _, he silkily purred in her ear._

" _ **Please…Angelus…please."**_

" _ **Tell me,"**_ _he softly growled._

" _ **Tell you what?"**_ _, Buffy cried._

 _Looming over her body Angelus gently drew up one of her wrists above her head before drawing the other. Holding both in one large hand he stared down into her eyes, willing for her to say it._

 _Buffy felt vulnerable lying beneath him with his deadly hand encircling her wrists. She could break free from his hold at any time, but she wouldn't. The symbolism was all too clear. The moments passed as she continued to stare up into his shadowed face. Suddenly she knew what he wanted._

" _ **I-I love…you."**_

 _Her admission was met with a small yet triumphant smile. Reaching down between their bodies Buffy's ears immediately heard the slithering hiss of a zipper. The hunger withdrew briefly while her guilty conscience stabbed through the passion that was a part of her._

 _She loved a vampire._

 _She loved a merciless creature that held not one shred of remorse for what he had done. She loved a thing that was not human and so held no compunctions for threatening those who were._

 _The fury grew within, hardening her eyes, before immediately being banished. No, she would not go there again. Buffy never wanted to visit that hell inside of herself that was capable of the brutality of tonight._

 _Angelus had told her that she committed that crime because she held back. And she had no choice but to believe him._

Buffy's heart skipped a beat upon hearing Giles' words. He didn't know that it wasn't true. He didn't know that many things he thought about her were not true.

"Giles…I have something to tell you."

"Yes Buffy?"

The moments wore on as Buffy's gut twisted in on itself, twisting and coiling as another moment for the truth was upon her. If she told him everything, maybe he'd be able to help her. Perhaps together they'd find a way to work through her change. Seeing the curious light in his bright eyes Buffy felt her heart turn cold. If she told him everything, maybe he would help her, but he'd also be crushed.

Giles would take her failure as his own. Her disgrace would be his as well. She couldn't let him feel that way.

"I-did I tell you that I was going out of town?"

Blinking once the Watcher shook his head and mumbled, "No, umm, you did not tell me." Removing his glasses Giles rubbed the bridge of his nose. Cocking his head to the side he stated, "Buffy, this is not the time to leave Sunnydale-especially now that your training will be taking a different route."

Shrugging Buffy lightly explained, "I know but-well, with mid-winter break coming my mom thought it'd be a good idea to see my dad." With a casual shrug she finished with, "And I couldn't really say, 'No Mom I need to stay here and slay', so it's visitation time."

"I don't mean to be indelicate, but do you think perhaps that you can reschedule?" Seeing the look on Buffy's face Giles put his glasses back on and immediately said, "Of course not. He is your father, after all." Sighing heavily Giles turned back towards the neat stack of books and small box. "Well, we do have a few days left-"

"Uh, Giles? Officially, mid-break has already started."

Turning back to her with surprise evident in his face Giles spluttered, "Today? Impossible!"

Glancing at the clock that hung high on the wall Buffy dryly said, "It's possible."

Running one finger around his collar Giles crossly murmured, "You children are hardly in school as it is-I don't see why you need a break at all."

This statement was met with a heated one from Buffy. "I know! I mean why bother with just a five-day week-it should be six. And summer vacation-what is UP with that?"

Peering at his Slayer from beneath his spectacles Giles allowed the tiniest of smiles to lift his mouth. "Point taken Buffy."

Grinning back at her Watcher Buffy did not allow herself to think what Angelus' reactions might be to finding her gone.

 _His hand firmly held hers in a tight grip. Buffy felt the cold briefly before gasping loudly._

" _ **Oh my darling is hot here, really, really hot."**_ _Angelus' growl of satisfaction echoed in the silence of the wood as his flesh stretched Buffy's. He adored the way her small body felt beneath his own. The night was cold and its effect was evident on Buffy's skin._

 _Abruptly he let go off her wrists. Pushing himself even further inside Angelus enjoyed the feeling of her hands on his chest. The nails were chipped and ragged, most likely due to the viciousness of their earlier encounter. The sharp scratches she left enhanced the pleasure in ways that he could only show with his body._

 _Closing his eyes Angelus did not even try to stop the low moan that came from deep within his throat. She loved him. The vicious hunger within grew and grew, greedily wanting and needing more of the girl beneath him. Angelus wanted to possess all of Buffy-her emotions, her body, her thoughts, the very breath she took. He would be all to her._

 _Raising himself on his elbows Angelus triumphantly stared down at Buffy's face. Her brow was furrowed, while her softly sweet, pink mouth was parted just a fraction of an inch. As if sensing his lengthy perusal, Buffy's lids raised themselves. Staring up into his shadowed face her breath audibly caught._

 _His arrogant command was silent yet heard nonetheless._ _ **Show me your love Slayer. Prove that you love me.**_ _Closing her eyes once more Buffy turned her head to the side and kissed the inside of his wrist. Angelus felt much as heard the speeding of her heart and the acceptance to his will._

 _Lowering himself fully upon Buffy, Angelus enveloped her with his body. Sliding one hand beneath her hips he softly encouraged her to,_ _ **"Move with me lover. Yeah, just like that."**_ _When he felt the twining of her arms around his neck Angelus could sense the obsession within him explode in a dark stain of passion._

 _She belonged to him. She was his. His to play with, his to abandon, his to destroy._

 _But never would she leave him. Angelus would not lose her like he had lost the others._

"When do you leave for Los Angeles?"

Glancing at the clock again, Buffy silently calculated the time. "Actually, I have to be home in about an hour." Seeing the arch in Giles' brow she explained, "My dad is picking me up today."

"I see." Pausing briefly he inquired, "Will you be staying here in Sunnydale tonight?"

Slanting him a look from beneath her own brows Buffy retorted, "Nope. Dad feels like _'Why waste time here when we could be using it to get to L.A?'_ " Before Giles could say anything she tossed out, "I think what he means to say is, _'Why be near your mom longer than necessary?'_ "

Knowing what the situation was between Buffy's parents Giles understood that his Slayer would prefer if he made no comment about it at all.

For filler, as much as anything, Giles politely asked, "Will the ride be long?"

Smiling Buffy asked, "You've never been to L.A.?"

"Other than a brief flight change on my way here, no."

"You haven't missed much. There's just as much supernatural crap going on down there as there is here. Although, at the time I lived there I didn't know that." Walking behind the counter Buffy bent down and retrieved her duffel bag. She wished she didn't have to go see her dad. As confused as it made her feel, being around him reminded Buffy of times that she'd rather forget. She loved her father, but she felt as if he had no room for her in his life.

And that hurt.

She wanted to be optimistic about what this visit might be like, but Buffy knew better than to expect something miraculous.

 _Beneath his arm he could feel her body tighten as she softly cried aloud her pleasure. The heady scent of her release perfumed the frigid air about them. Crushing Buffy against his chest Angelus brutally thrust against her. The demon within rose and howled with the craving to prove his ownership of Buffy._

 _If he had expected his mistress to shrink and withdraw from his rough embrace, Angelus was to be disappointed. Instead he could feel her legs tightly squeeze his waist and her body rise up to meet him thrust for thrust._

 _Angelus was not disappointed, not now._

 _Tomorrow when the thirst for vengeance against her and Angel ruled him, when the maddening fury that often drove him to debase her spurred him, THEN he would care that she felt no shame for this. Now was just the intoxicating moment of lust._

Gesturing to his supplies Giles sighed and said, "Well I guess you should be on your way."

Slinging the bag on her shoulder Buffy asked, "What about patrol Giles?"

"I'll just have to go tonight."

"By yourself?" Buffy did not like the idea of Giles having to do her job, much less doing it alone.

Unconsciously loosening his tie Giles casually replied, "Ms. Calendar might, umm, well, accompany me on the rounds."

Smiling sweetly Buffy noticed that her Watcher's cheeks were taking on a slight rosy hue. Before she could tease him Giles abruptly asked, "How long will you be gone?"

"I'll be back on Monday."

Rubbing his chin he murmured, "Four days then."

"I'm sorry to do this to you-"

Waving away her protestations Giles replied, "I understand Buffy. As a part of your duties you must keep this secret. That includes keeping appearances whenever possible."

What an innocent statement. He wanted her to keep up appearances-appearances that could hide or expose what really lay within.

 _Buffy's mouth tasted the cold flesh of his neck. Her every sense was centered on this moment, on now. The ecstasy of pure pleasure faded, leaving in its stead an even grander appetite. Hungrily laying her cheek against his chest Buffy's stomach tightened with the familiar pained sensation of being so close to him._

 _Every sense within her body warred against instinct. Instinct told her to run. Need kept her close. The decadent fury of Angelus' pounding body beckoned a wanton response from Buffy._

 _So feeling this, what mattered was how he made her feel, right now._

 _The underbrush beneath her back prickled, while the cold chilled her flesh to the touch. Yet all that Buffy cared about was how good it felt to have him inside her. Intoxication danced along her veins with a primal beat. The animalistic chant from her blood manifested itself through her heart, through the pulse that beat strongly in her neck. The sounds of their bodies could not hide the frenzied music that played with such fervor inside of Buffy._

 _Laying her hands of either side of Angelus' face she leaned forward, giving into their song and bit his neck with her blunt teeth. Beneath her fingers Buffy could feel her lover's face morph and knew what would come next._

Noting the time Buffy bid her goodbyes. "I've gotta go Giles. If I see any of our undead co-workers, I'll be sure to send them on their way."

"Have a good trip Buffy."

"Thanks." Walking away she suddenly paused at the door. Without turning around she called, "Giles?"

Stopping in the middle of the way to his office the Watcher replied, "Yes?"

With one hand on the swinging door Buffy said, "Be careful, okay?"

Hearing the worry in her voice Giles felt a brilliant burst of love for his young Slayer. "I will." Deciding to speak before his inbreed need for discretion stopped him Giles gently pleaded, "I know it's hard, but try to understand your father Buffy. Sometimes people don't always act the way they'd wish or say what they really feel-especially towards those they love."

Still with her back turned Buffy's eyes immediately clenched shut. Wanting to leave before her emotions spilled she mumbled, "I'll try," and walked out the library.

If only Giles knew. If only he knew just how close he had described her very same feelings.

Hearing the soft swish of the door Giles heaved a large sigh. So things were happening the way the Watcher's Council had predicted. Several days before he had received a short yet succinct message from headquarters:

 _ **Expect change from your charge. Attribute it to the A. situation.  
Monitor yet keep your distance and your silence. Will advise of further activity.**_

He did not like Buffy having to leave so quickly, but perhaps her visit with her father would be beneficial to his Slayer. It could give her time to reflect on her future. It would also give him time to decide whether to follow the subtle orders of the Council concerning the Acrymydion situation.

Quickly striding through the deserted hallways Buffy wanted things to be different. She wanted to have a real relationship with those she loved.

She wanted to tell Giles that she had almost died and that the prophecy had almost been voided. She wanted to assure her mom that she wasn't a bad kid. She wanted to come to Willow and tell her what she was feeling for Angelus. She wanted to tell Oz that he was right and that she was sorry. She wanted to assure Xander that her first duty would be to them. She wanted to let Cordelia know that she had nothing to fear from Angelus.

Above all, she wanted to feel as if the darkness did not dog her every step.

" _ **Buff I like your teeth-do you like mine?"**_ _Angelus lightly asked in a playful tone just before he bit into the side of her slim neck._

 _Her body immediately became tight and stiff as the shock of pure adrenaline flooded her veins. She could feel his razor-sharp fangs pierce through the fragile barrier of skin and take the liquid that flowed through her veins to fill the ones that lay empty inside of him. Her sight became awash in a sea tainted the shade of crimson as the exquisiteness of sensation possessed Buffy once more._

 _Instead of her body feeling weakened by a loss of blood, it was feeling stronger._

 _Raking her nails across his back Buffy dimly realized that he had taken his shirt off. She couldn't remember him doing it but she was glad that he did. His skin, normally cold, was icy and felt wonderful against her own._

Exiting Sunnydale High Buffy squinted her eyes from the brightness of the sun, the sudden pain piercing through her head. Hurriedly walking home she wondered if somehow she'd find a way to untangle the mess of her life before…

Before she died.

Death cared nothing for who people were or what they did. Yet in her case, Death seemed to have a personal grudge against allowing her to live. All Slayers died young, it was a fact that never seemed to be talked about within the inner circle of her friends and Watcher. Even so, it was spoken without words each night before patrol, each time a fight broke out in the Bronze, each time they all survived to see the next sunrise.

It was always there, trailing her every step. It was there touching her with every breath she took, each life-giving inhalation of oxygen barely escaping the staleness of the stagnant air that could only belong to Death.

Walking up the drive Buffy pondered on how Slayers died young. All of them did. She was no exception to the natural rules of life. Knowing that made the inevitable easier to deal with-but just barely.

Opening up the front door Buffy immediately heard her mom upstairs. "Mom! I'm home!"

Joyce's voice immediately barreled down. "Buffy! I'm in your room!"

Walking up the stairs with bag slung over her shoulder Buffy knew that her mom was packing her bag, instead of letting Buffy do it herself. Standing at the entrance of her room she saw that she was right.

Smiling at her daughter Joyce finished placing a t-shirt in the navy blue suitcase before zipping it shut. "I've packed you enough clothes to last a week. You've got socks, underwear, bras, t-shirts, shorts, casual pants, dress pants-"

"Casual dresses, dressy dresses, a parka just in case it snows, a raincoat, rain boots-"

Knowing her daughter was teasing Joyce laughed and said, "I know, I know. I over pack for you but ONE day it'll come in handy."

Plopping on her bed Buffy kicked off her shoes and sighed, "Mom I'm 17 now. Don't you think I'm old enough to pack my own bag?"

Sitting next to her daughter Joyce smartly answered, "The last time I let you pack your own bag you forgot to pack any shirts and socks."

Rolling her head to the side Buffy eyed her mother and said, "I was 6 years old! And besides, Grandma bought me what I needed."

"And you expect Dad to buy you what you need if you forget this time?"

Shrugging while looking away she replied, "I expect Dad to buy me a ton of clothes, even if I don't need them."

Hearing the slight note of sadness in Buffy's voice her mother softly sighed. Placing a hand on her daughter's arm she waited until Buffy looked at her. "I know that you're not exactly happy to be going to see your Dad."

Without much enthusiasm in her voice Buffy blandly answered, "Seeing him doesn't bother me-it's knowing that he'll be gone most of the time that bothers me."

Understanding that what Buffy said was true, Joyce still felt compelled to defend her ex-husband. "Your father works long hours because he has to meet insane deadlines-not because he doesn't want to spend time with you."

"Maybe he does, but deadlines don't extend to cocktails and dinner dates." Buffy's voice held no bitterness, just a resigned acceptance. Her father loved her, she had no doubt of that. However, Hank Summers seemed to be the kind of father that preferred to love his offspring from afar.

Before Angelus' return Buffy would be filled with such resentment that her father pretty much ignored the fact that she was there. Visitations between them were rare, yet other than lunch they spent virtually very little time together. Her father usually handed her a few large bills while declaring, "You'll probably want to be at the mall today. I'm having dinner tonight with a client so I won't be able to pick you up. Here's a twenty for cab fare."

Pizza, shopping sprees, and a ton of Blockbuster videos summed up visits at Dad's.

Now she could no longer feel angry with her father. Sad, yes. Angry, no. Leaning back on a pillow Buffy realized that if there was one positive thing that was happening to her, it was the ability to forgive people their flaws. Knowing now that she was filled with so many of them, how could she judge her father on his ability to show her love?

How could she judge him when she was feeding the ones she loved lie after lie? At least her father didn't lie about who and what he was. At least she knew that he loved her. She on the other hand…

Patting Buffy's leg once Joyce stood up and breezily asked, "How about a snack before your dad gets here?"

"No thanks Mom, I'm not really hungry."

"If you don't eat now, you'll end up eating something greasy later," Joyce warned.

Propping herself up on one elbow Buffy wryly asked, "Like that's a bad thing?"

"Oh, that's right-you have the metabolism of youth. You could probably eat ten burgers and not only NOT gain a pound, you'd probably lose five." Shaking her head Joyce predicted, "When you get old then you'll care." Patting her stomach once she rolled her eyes heavenwards and lamented, "Trust me-I know."

"All the more for me to enjoy McDonald's now," Buffy lightly joked all the while thinking about how she would not get a chance to grow old. If not Acrymydion there'd be something else after him. Sooner or later Death would catch up to her, and most likely before she reached the age of 21.

"Well, rest now. Your dad will be here in about an hour and you have a long drive ahead." Smiling once more at her daughter Joyce walked out the room, leaving the door halfway closed. Buffy soon heard her mother's steps on the stairs before they eventually led to the living room.

Closing her eyes Buffy knew that her mother would be sitting on the couch, looking for Hank Summers to pull up in their driveway. Thinking about how lonely her mother must be Buffy wished that things between her parents hadn't turned out the way they did.

Hank Summers had been her mother's first and only love. Since then there had been no others. No wonder her mother had been so susceptible to Angelus' charms.

Clenching her jaw tightly Buffy felt fury flare up within her breast. Realizing that because the situation wasn't in front of her, Buffy was more forgiving towards her mother. She knew that would change the instance Angelus was in the same room with them both. Bastard! He enjoyed pitting them both.

 _What if he seduces her?_

The thought viciously pierced through Buffy's mind, filling her with images she'd rather not have. Angelus was more than capable of doing it.

Her mother was more than likely to succumb.

Rolling to her side Buffy felt a stab of grief. There'd be no way she could ever deal with that. Her mother was hers. Angelus was hers. If they were ever together…If he wounded her in that way…

She'd lose them both. That's exactly what would happen if her mother became intimate with Angelus. She couldn't even begin to imagine how she'd react being in the same room with her mother, much less having to live with her. And Angelus…

She'd walk out on him. She'd walk away from whatever it was they had. It was rather silly considering that he had never committed anything to her other than his want for her to belong to him. Is that how he felt about Druscilla?

Clenching her fists Buffy's thoughts now extended to Angelus being with other women. Knowing now that she loved him, Buffy more than ever realized that if he were to be unfaithful to her, she'd want to kill him.

Humorlessly smiling she understood that their entanglement was hardly that of a boyfriend, fiancé, or husband relationship. With anyone else Buffy would see this as casual sex. But it was different with him.

No matter how much she hated him, her need for him would be greater.

So far it was greater than her will, her pride, and her fury.

Especially after last night.

 _How can I keep doing this? Things were bad enough with all the lying, but now, it 's much, much worse._

Rolling on her back Buffy stared up at the ceiling while she brought her knees up. The final moments of last night were so bittersweet for her to remember. Abruptly hopping off the bed Buffy walked to her closet and quickly found a pretty yellow print spring dress. Finding the matching shoes and underclothing she laid those on her bed before entering the tiny bathroom. Training had left her clothes and hair rather limp so a shower was definitely in order.

She may be cramping her dad's flow by coming to visit but she wasn't going to add B.O.

Pulling the plastic curtain back Buffy stepped into the tub and turned the facets on. The cold water rushed out to splash all over her feet and ankles. The cold reminded her of Angelus. Shutting her eyes she shivered from the pungent memory of laying beneath him and praying that if she died, it wouldn't be alone.

 _Her body was completely naked beneath his. Beneath the cold flesh of her calf she could feel the chilled leather that covered his beautifully muscled thigh. Letting out a mewl of pleasure all of her body's senses were focused on her points of impalement._

 _Angelus finally slid his fangs from the taut flesh of Buffy's neck. Leaning back on his forearms he looked down into her face and gave a wicked smile. The night gleamed in his eyes, promising her sinful joy and painful release. Even now Buffy could feel the familiar dreadful, the intense crimson pounding that beat within her belly. Its very rhythm signaled that stolen rapture would be hers again._

 _Looking down she could see the hypnotic thrust of his lean hips. She could feel every inch of his cock stretch her willing flesh and felt the breath leave her body each time he entered her. Buffy watched entranced as Angelus shifted his legs so that she lay even more opened before him._

 _Allowing her eyes to trail up his wonderfully sculpted chest she studied the coiling of the muscles beneath the pale, smooth flesh. Guiltily she saw the dried flakes of blood that clung to his skin. The disorganized pattern of bloodstains presented a constantly shifting play of shadows and light that sickened Buffy even as it lured her to watch._

 _Shutting her eyes from the sight Buffy softly moaned a cry of sorrow intermingled with an undeniable whisper of ungodly craving._

Opening up her eyes Buffy could vividly feel that moment of insatiable longing. The tightness of such an exquisitely intense sensation brought forth a shallowness of breath even as it caused the rapid explosion of blood to course through her body.

Quickly washing herself with efficient motions Buffy finished her shower in a few minutes. Soon she was dressed and lay once again on her bed. With a disconcerting ease the Slayer found herself back in the company of her vampire within the confines of her mind.

 _Laying his body on top of hers Angelus rested himself on his elbows while placing one hand on either side of Buffy's tormented face. Winningly he whispered obscene promises of twisted affection to the small shell of her ear._

 _Buffy opened her eyes once again and all she saw was him. All she heard was him. Crouched above her, his wide shoulders blotted out the night, blurred the lines between white and black, and buried the long-held beliefs of right and wrong. In this space and time he became all she would ever know._

 _His lips would be the last she ever kissed. His hand would be the last one who touched her that she needed. His voice would be the only one capable of melting the ice that covered her heart. His will would be the final epilogue to her life as she knew it._

 _Acrymydion would take her life. Whether the omnipotent powers that she served would grant her another one was unknown._

 _Arching her back Buffy's limbs locked around the intense body that hammered into her own. Muffling her cry of ecstasy against the strong column of Angelus' neck Buffy heard him give a low growl of approval._

 _The dark travesty of it all was that Death was a part of them both and would continue to play with their lives, pitting them against one another even as it bound them together._

The sharp, annoyed honk of a car horn abruptly broke through Buffy's reverie. _**Beep, beep, beeeeepppp!**_ Getting up off her bed she walked to the window, pulled the curtain to the side, and looked outside. Sure enough it was her father in the driveway. Allowing the diaphanous material to float back down Buffy walked out of her room with packed case in hand.

Coming down the stairs with her suitcase she saw her mother waiting for her at the bottom. Upon reaching the landing Buffy spoke the unnecessary. "I guess Dad's not coming to the door."

"I guess not." Dropping her eyes briefly Joyce lightly said, "It appears that he's still upset."

"Upset?"

Sighing she clarified, "We had a disagreement on the phone last week."

"Disagreement?"

Resolutely smiling Joyce breezily stated, "It's nothing." Opening up the door she ushered Buffy to the porch. They gave each other a brief yet tight hug. "Now you call me when you get to Dad's, okay?"

Nodding her head Buffy assured her with, "I will, I promise." Looking her mother in the eyes she said, "I love you Mom."

"I love you too Honey."

Parting her lips in a goodbye smile Buffy said, "Bye." Turning away from her mother Buffy walked to where her father was waiting. Hank Summers got out of his late model sedan and came around the vehicle. Taking the suitcase out of her hand he gave his daughter a brief hug. "How's my girl been?"

"Good." Her one word fell on seemingly deaf ears because he was already unlocking the trunk. Standing by the passenger door Buffy once again felt awkward. Her mother said only that they had a disagreement. She could easily guess why.

Glancing at Hank she could see the tight look around his mouth when he looked at her mother. She didn't even have to see her mom's face to know what was there. Opening up the door Buffy settled herself on the comfortable leather seat and knew that no matter how comfortable they were, she would not be during the ride nor during the visit.

As the sedan backed into reverse Buffy gave her mother a slight wave. Joyce waved back and widely smiled. Unconsciously Buffy's eyesight sharpened until they saw what they hoped would be missing this time: tears.

Watching until her mother was out of sight Buffy leaned the seat back and closed her eyes. Sleep was something that would keep both herself and her father away from the awkwardness that came with divorce.

Humming lightly Angelus enjoyed the solitary ride down the elevator. Tonight he would be going to the Summers' household, presumably to tutor Buffy in history.

Perhaps he would, perhaps he wouldn't.

Hopefully this time he could forgo the guise of eating dinner with the family but if not, then it'd be amusing to play at being human. The doors opened with a slight hiss before Angelus leisurely strolled through the tastefully decorated foyer. Glancing to his right he could see the concierge dumbly follow his progress with wary eyes.

Smiling wolfishly Angelus tipped his head at him before allowing his gaze to fall upon the old doorman. Sniffing slightly he could smell the approaching stench of death all over him. Without the vampire having to arch a brow of command, Robert calmly held the door open. Striding through Angelus knew it wasn't because he was intimidated, but because he was a professional who cared about the quality of his work.

If he had to look favorably towards a human for something other than food, professionalism was as good a reason as any. Dismissing the man from his mind Angelus reached in his pocket and pressed a button. The alarm to his black Rodeo disengaged with a discreet flash of light.

Opening up the door he gracefully slid his body in, closed the door, and turned the key. The awakening of the engine was hardly one to cause heads to turn, much to Angelus' chagrin. Since discovering this century in the flesh he was rapidly becoming partial to many versions of the automobile. From the American muscle cars of the '60s, to the beautifully constructed Italian luxuries of speed, Angelus truly enjoyed the one thing in common among them: power.

Driving along the dark highways of California he was rapidly becoming accustomed to being able to test the limits of the varied powerful engines. Turning onto the quiet street of Revello Drive, Angelus knew there was not much real power to test with this vehicle. Parking in the driveway of the Summers' residence he turned off the engine and smoothly stepped out. What it lacked in power, it made up for in respectability.

He could hardly carry off the guise of well thought-of tutor while driving a Lamborghini Diablo.

Nimbly strolling to the door Angelus rang the bell. Patiently waiting while whistling he immediately detected the sound of light footsteps. While light they were, they did not belong to those of his mistress. Pausing in the middle of his jaunty whistle Angelus reached out with his senses and felt that Buffy was not there.

Before a scowl could mar the smoothness of his face the door opened, framing a surprised Joyce in the entryway. "Angel! I didn't expect to see you here tonight."

Ignoring the subtle yet admiring light in her eyes Angelus stated, "I'm here for Buffy's tutor session. Is she home?"

Cocking her head to the side Joyce answered, "No she isn't."

"When will she be back?"

"No, I'm afraid she won't be here tonight."

Angelus' eyes narrowed imperceptibly. "Oh, I wasn't aware of that."

Without realizing the growing fury of the vampire in front of her Buffy's mother unknowingly added fuel to the proverbial fire. "She'll be gone for a few days."

Angelus made sure that his voice betrayed none of the swirling fury that was beating inside of him. Instead he chose to imitate the neutral tone of, "Gone?"

"Yes, she's in LA visiting her father." Looking down at her watch Joyce murmured, "I should be getting a call from her soon." Meeting his gaze again she said, "I can't believe Buffy forgot to tell you. I'm sorry that you had to come out this way for nothing. I'll be sure to let her know-"

"It's not a problem. I'm sure it just slipped her mind." Stepping back Angelus politely bid Joyce "Good night" before cutting a swath back to his car.

Opening up the door with careful movements Angelus' mind thought of how docile and delicious Buffy was after they had reached carnal satisfaction-in vicious comparison to how devious and deceitful she had been tonight.

 _The exquisite beauty of her female flesh was driving him to distraction. Angelus could feel the tiny tip of her tongue tasting his neck and it felt wonderful. Her limbs were wrapped securely about his body, so tightly that it seemed as if she didn't want to lose the least bit of contact between them._

 _Buffy's heartbeat lured him on to seek the forbidden pinnacle of their mating. The sound of it filled him with the dark desire to take all he could from her, to take every drop of her blood until she was a part of him completely. But if he gave in, then she'd be gone._

 _Hearing a soft cry of pleasure echo in his mind it immediately replaced thoughts that would cut short this moment in time. The scent of their violence still clung heavily about her, the perfume of decaying emotions cloying yet alluring. It was animal the way they fucked in the remnants of their own hate, yet it defined them as nothing before ever had._

 _Seeing her clearly despite the darkness Angelus could hardly remember the thrashing she had given him. The games of the night were wonderful to play, but even more so when she was willing, that was what he would remember. Turning his head to the side he licked the delicate skin of her wrist to which she immediately caressed his face._

 _Not able to hold back the ripple of pleasure that her one touch inspired Angelus wrapped his fist in Buffy's blonde hair. His large hand held her head in such a way that her neck presented its beautifully lines to him. Guttarly he growled,_ _ **"Angel would never have you like this, would he?"**_

 _He could see the pain flare in her eyes and it maddened him. Deliberately he stopped moving his hips. Ripping her hands away from his body, Angelus held them in one of his while still curling his other hand in her tangled blonde hair. Leaning down he softly spoke in a voice filled with tangible menace,_ _ **"He'd never see you like this, would he Buff? You'd NEVER fuck HIM the way you do ME, would you Baby?"**_

 _Turning her head towards Angelus she winced at the pain in her scalp before whispering against his lips,_ _ **"Please don't say anymore. Please don't, not now."**_

 _He whispered in return against her mouth,_ _ **"I wish you could see how pretty you are when you beg me."**_ _Sensuously he took her lips with his own, lightly tasting and teasing her with his tongue. Drawing his hips back he slowly thrust against Buffy. After several moments of carnal play he loudly snarled,_ _ **"You'd NEVER be completely open to him and he'd be too much of a PUSSY to have it any other way."**_

 _Buffy let out a strangled sob as she arched away from him._ _ **"At least he'd never try to hurt me like you do!"**_

 _Angelus smiled in triumph. She didn't try to deny what he already knew. Angel and Buffy may have discovered some tepid measure of love during their short time together, but it was hardly one that was based on honesty. Angel had had more of a love affair with his guilt than with the flesh and blood girl beneath Angelus now._

 _And Buffy…_

 _She'd always held a measure of distrust and contempt for what Angel was and had never failed to throw it in his face. In some ways it had suited Buffy to have that power over Angel, the control of absolution and forgiveness._

 _In her innocence and inexperience she never saw it that way, but that did not make it untrue. So she had been sustaining a love that was based on superiority and Angel had only prayed to his adopted god that she'd never lose the taste for such an emotion. And even then he didn't have the guts to see it through, although Buffy had yet to know…_

 _So theirs was not an honest relationship, not like theirs was now._

 _Letting go of her hair and wrists Angelus rolled them until they both lay to their side. Shifting her thigh so it did not lay beneath his own he neatly placed her other leg over his hip. With one hand on the small of her back Angelus fervently said,_ _ **"He'd end up doing it, darling. Eventually he would have walked away from you."**_

 _When Buffy shook her head in denial Angelus softly assured her with,_ _ **"Yes he would have. He was already thinking about it Buff."**_

 _Staring into his gaze Buffy steadfastly said,_ _ **"You're wrong. Angel would have never left me and you know it."**_ _Bravely she accused,_ _ **"You're just making that up to hurt me."**_

 _A pitying smile twisted his lips._ _ **"I have the paperwork to prove it. Angel bought a piece of property one month before he, ah, left."**_

 _Several moments passed in absolute silence. As cliché as it was, Buffy even stopped breathing with the shock. Despite the shadows Angelus could see her face blanche and her eyes darken with agony once she realized he was being absolutely honest._

 _For many seconds she didn't even appear to realize he was there as her mind whirled with the implications of Angel's secret._ _ **"It can't be,"**_ _was all that she said. Their bodies were still and for once Angelus left her to her own misery. Instead he quietly lay on his side with her body right against his own and waited._

 _Finally she peered at him with all the fury and pain in her heart. Through clenched teeth she repeated,_ _ **"It can't be."**_

" _ **But it is Buff. It is."**_ _The simplicity of his words convinced her like nothing else would._

 _Although it was obvious she did not expect an answer Buffy dropped her eyes and nonetheless sadly asked,_ _ **"Why?"**_

 _Running a finger around a lock of her hair Angelus replied in a nonchalant voice,_ _ **"Because he was a coward."**_

 _Despite feeling what she felt Buffy's head snapped up while she heatedly defended Angel with,_ _ **"He WAS NOT a coward!"**_

 _Arching an imperious brow he asked,_ _ **"No? Why don't you think REAL HARD on what Angel was REALLY like Buff and tell me again that he wasn't a coward?"**_ _Pulling out of her body he quickly had her pinned to the ground._

 _Without giving Buffy a choice he barked,_ _ **"Remember when the Master had you right where he wanted you? Who do you think was responsible for bringing you back to life? Angel?"**_ _Loudly he yelled,_ _ **"Wrong!"**_ _In a voice filled with contempt he spat,_ _ **"Xander is the ONLY reason why you're even here. Now how sad is that? That worthless excuse for a man was even more of a man that your honey."**_

 _Mutely Buffy shook her head while her eyes narrowed with growing anger. Angrily he twisted the knife of his words further._ _ **"He didn't even want to do down there, did you know that? He was scared shitless Buff."**_

" _ **You won't make me hate him Angelus-I'm not going to ever hate him."**_

 _Mockingly he laughed._ _ **"I don't want you to hate him, darling. I'm just trying to enlighten you to who Angel really was."**_

" _ **And why would you want to do that Angelus? Because you care so much about me? I don't think so."**_

 _One side of his mouth lifted in a smirk as the ebony of his eyes abruptly melded into a chaotic palette of amber, gold, and green. Leisurely he turned his head to the side and observed the mutinous cast of Buffy's face. Her hackles were really up now. She was showing a little bit of spirit and this time he liked it. He should leave things the way they were, he really should._

 _But..._

 _Leaning down he placed his lips by her ear and whispered the address of Angel's building. Not only did he let her know where Angel had planned on leaving to, but when. In a treacherously gentle voice Angelus let Buffy know exactly what had been in her love's mind every night he had spent by her side._

 _As the moments wore on he felt her stiffen, but not with anger, instead her limbs tensed with grief. Nudging her legs apart further Angelus slowly slid into her unresisting body. Gathering her against him he once again shifted to his side._

 _When her arms returned to embrace him and her head lay in the crook of his shoulder and neck Angelus growled,_ _ **"He would have left you, but I'm not like him."**_

 _Buffy's mouth opened in a caress as she heatedly kissed the cold flesh of his neck and face. Soon she moved her hand and dug it into his hip while moving her hips even faster. Angelus answered the unspoken desire with a furiously passionate surging of his body._

 _Before long Buffy was gasping with intense pleasure while shudders ran all along her back. Immediately after hearing his lover reach her release Angelus gave into his own. Tightening his arm about her waist he groaned with ecstasy as his cock flooded Buffy's insides with thick, dead seed._

 _Rolling to his back Angelus kept her body on top of his. Hearing her heartbeat slow its riotous rhythm he gently stroked her hair until he felt her limbs slacken._

 _His voice had the ability to charm the very birds out of the trees or make a girl like Buffy melt in his arms with an equal mix of lust and terror. This time his words aroused an abusive concoction of all three._

" _ **He'd walk away from you darling, he'd even let you walk away from him, but make no mistake lover-I'm NOT him."**_

Driving towards the factory Angelus felt an intense searing rage consume him. She left him. After the perfect madness of last night Buffy went to LA.

Her visitation may have been pre-scheduled, he'd give her the benefit of that doubt. But Angelus had a pretty good hunch that there would be more on her agenda than dinner with daddy.

Spike was itching to stretch his legs, literally and figuratively, but instead he was confined to the iron contraption that served to keep his intrigue. The main room of the factory held only a few vampires-himself, Druscilla, and his four spies. Although he was completely surrounded by those he trusted, Spike simply wasn't a vampire who really trusted. No matter how desirable it was to ease the ache, he couldn't afford to allow a stiff leg or a numb bum to blow his plans.

For one never knew when a curious eye might be about...

A trill of bright laughter suddenly rang throughout the cavernous metal room. Fondly Spike shifted his attention from his troublesome lower extremities to his lovely Dru. Clad tonight in a dress of festive red velvet with elaborate gold trim she was obviously in high spirits. Lovingly he noticed her beautiful hair. The long chestnut locks were gathered in a simple knot on her crown, allowing her curls to hang free.

A flash of memory seared Spike's mind as he remembered the last time he had seen it hanging free.

 _She had been braced over him, her flawless back facing him while her hips worked slowly and sensually. His own hands gently gripped her slender waist while his neck arched off the bed. The ivory damask sheets rasped sweetly, but not as sweetly as when she gave a beautiful cry of completion._ _ **"Spike!"**_

 _The wonderful silk of her hair teased the taut flesh of his stomach as she arched her own head in a shudder of exquisite pleasure. Immediately she looked over her shoulder and smiled the naughty smile he so adored._ _ **"Now it's your turn."**_

 _Within moments she had him moaning her name repeatedly. Gathering her in his arms Spike felt the lifeless organ within his chest beat when she softly whispered,_ _ **"I drown in my love for you."**_

His lower extremities now suffered from a different ache that hurt all the more because there was nothing his heart could do to ease it. Spike had not taken pleasure with her since the bloody Slayer had broken his cursed back. And to add insult to injury, he was finding it harder and harder to keep his desires under control.

As far as everyone knew he was poor little Spike whose cock was as lifeless as his legs. Even Dru in her well-meaning way had more or less declared him, "A naughty boy that could no longer be naughty." At least there had been a measure of peace since Irish was playing his fucked up games with the bitch-Slayer.

Even so he couldn't take the risk of making love to Druscilla. Not because he feared Angelus taking exception but because of the questions and gossip it would stir up. Or the answers it would expose. If Irish knew that Spike could do his duty by Druscilla, then he would wonder what other things he could do. Angelus was no fool, he'd figure it out and then the battle would ensue before its time.

Until then he'd just have to be satisfied with loving Dru with only his eyes and his mind. What her sire did with her would just have to not be thought of…

Just as Angelus was no fool, neither was Spike. He knew the only reason why Angelus bothered Druscilla sexually was to drive the point of his physical superiority home. Angelus was the undisputed master when it came to causing emotional pain and hurt. He instinctively knew where a man or woman was most vulnerable and taunted his victim with it.

Spike's only weakness was his love for Dru but it was one that he would gladly suffer, Angelus or no Angelus.

Rhythmically swaying from side to side Druscilla closed her eyes, tilted her head back, and dreamily sighed, "We've nothing to fear tonight Spike. Nothing at all. Even the worms will feel the boxes of their feast open."

Smiling in satisfaction Spike already knew of what his goddess was speaking but he minded his manners and let her continue.

"The worms will have a full belly soon, yes they will." Momentarily stilling the silent music that inspired her dance Druscilla's piercingly clear eyes found her Spike's. Staring dead within she whispered in a dreadful undertone, "And so will I."

Arching her back she raised her arms and happily moaned, "I will find the prettiest ones tonight. We'll dance and dance until the world spins." As if to punctuate her words the tiny vampiress spun gleefully around.

Spike felt a moment of envy that he would not be able to "find the prettiest ones" with her. He had no doubt that his Dru would enjoy a veritable feast tonight. The obituaries for next week would double in size by the time their _vacation_ was through.

Catching sight of one the guard's hand signals Spike silently cursed. The Prick was back. Damn him! For the past week things had almost gotten back to normal. Although Spike expected Angelus, he still wished him to the bloodiest pits of Hell.

Arrogantly coming down the steps Angelus emitted a fury that reached them all. Quickly glancing at his troupe Spike recognized the vacant and greedy stares they adopted before shuffling out of the room. Good. With clenched jaw he then saw Druscilla immediately still her dance. The fear in her blue eyes was evident even as a mad exhilaration sparkled within.

Despite the fright she was still pleased to see her sire.

No matter what Spike could and would do for her, he could never sever that bond between them and it tore him to shreds.

Stalking across the room Angelus ignored Spike and stopped in front of Druscilla. After a moment's pause he merely smiled. Lifting her slim hand to his lips and kissed it. "How's my little girl been?"

A beautiful smile immediately spread across her ethereal face. "Happy."

He arched a brow in question, "Have you missed me?" "Oh, I have Daddy. I've missed you dreadfully, although my Spike has kept me company."

"Has he? Well, I think I've neglected you far too long. Would you like to go out tonight?"

Her eyes slid to the vampire silently observing them with a stoic gaze. For a moment the chaos that marked her mind slid away. This was hurting Spike badly, and Druscilla deeply regretted it. But as long as she was what Angelus wanted, it would not hurt him half as badly as seeing Angelus hurt her. As quickly as it had fled, the madness descended within the fractured shards of her once-sane mind.

"Oh yes!" Clutching his sleeve Druscilla winningly asked, "Can we go to the park? I've been so good!"

Mockingly glancing at the rigid blond vampire Angelus commented, "You know how much Dru likes the park, you should've taken her…Oh, that's right! You've pretty much been homebound after my girl put you in your place."

Arching his brow Spike asked in a bored tone of voice, "She's your girl now?"

Stroking Druscilla's hand Angelus answered with a smirk, "The Slayer has ALWAYS been my girl."

Leaning forward Spike asked in a conversational tone of voice, "And HOW is our natural enemy? She been doing okay after having the dubious honor of sharing your bed?" Quickly touching the side of his head in a contemptuous gesture he said, "That's right! She's not here, is she mate?" Spike noticed the darkening of Angelus' eyes with satisfaction. "Flown the coop that quickly, eh?"

Druscilla felt the dangerous tensing of her sire's arm beneath her fingertips. Instinctively wanting to avert the clash between them both she softly said, "The Slayer will be back, my love. She wants into Daddy's heart too much to stay away." The cast of her blue eyes took on a dreamy hue as she intonated, "Her fate lies here, so it has been written, so it will be."

Sharply looking down at his child Angelus coldly asked, "What do you mean Druscilla?"

Flinching back from the look of pure menace that leapt into his eyes, the tiny vampiress confusedly babbled, "The n-nasty S-Slayer belongs t-to you a-and-"

Cutting into her frenzied speech Angelus calmly stated, "Of course she does, darling." Looking away from her frightened face he stared at Spike's impassive one. "I see that you 're wearing the dress I bought you, that pleases me. I'm glad to know that you haven't forgotten how to please me Dru." _Unlike my newest whore._

Smiling in mad relief she whispered, "I haven't forgotten anything. I keep it all in here like a good girl." She tapped her head once for emphasis and hoped that her daddy would not find a reason to be angry with her.

Firmly keeping her hand on his arm Angelus began to whistle as he strolled towards the stairs with his former mistress in tow. "Don't wait up for us Spikey-we'll be gone for quite some time."

Waiting until Druscilla and Angelus were gone Spike allowed his head to drop back. Staring up at the blackened metal ceiling he felt the constant pain slash into his heart. How he hated the turn of events that led him and Dru here! Ever since they set foot in this god-forsaken pissant town, everything had gone wrong.

Lifting his head forward he resolutely set his jaw and squashed down his bout of self-pity. True, things were loathsome at the moment, but they wouldn't stay that way for long. Druscilla was healthy, he was mending, and the Slayer was going to die.

A spitefully cruel smile twisted Spike's firm mouth. Prophesies had a funny way of trailing humans like the Slayer-they were never wrong and they never failed. If she avoided one, she'd step right into another.

The fact that Irish knew nothing about it only made the victory even sweeter. Regardless of how obsessed Angelus was with every facet of Buffy Summers, he had absolutely no clue that his time with his newest plaything would be measured in only a matter of weeks.

Dru almost let it out of the bag, but thankfully fate seemed to be with Spike tonight. And not only tonight, but this entire week as a matter of fact.

Smiling with deep satisfaction Spike placed his hands on the large wheels of his chair and pushed himself out of the room towards his own chamber. Things often had a funny way of turning themselves to one's advantage, regardless of how unexpected. Nothing proved this more than the discovery of his newest ally.

There were stranger alliances to be true, but beyond his own agenda Spike was actually eager to see just how his lovely, ruthless accomplice would achieve her own ends.

Absently noticing his guards awaiting him Spike chuckled at the notion of himself and a human being allies…

Boredly Angelus watched as Druscilla flitted from one end of the crowded dance floor to the other. She was in true form tonight, her madness somehow not a disadvantage as it usually was. Just as its intentional purpose intended, all were accepted here at The Cavern, insanity not to be excluded.

And Druscilla was taking full advantage of being the newest darling tonight.

The women good-naturedly envied her gothically Victorian dress and the men were stirred into a fervor of protectiveness and lust.

At least one of them was having a good time. Giving his childe a mock-salute with his glass Angelus quickly swallowed the entire contents of his drink in one fiery gulp. Slamming the dark blue crystal down he clenched his jaw tightly until the burn in his throat receded.

"Enjoying your night Angelus?"

Taking in the well-dressed vampire with one glance Angelus politely gestured for his visitor to sit down. Settling himself comfortably the man merely sat in silence and awaited to be spoken to first. But it was hardly out of deference and Angelus knew it.

"Simon, it's been awhile hasn't it?"

"Only a century or two," came the lightly accented voice.

Taking in his cream and russet garb Angelus commented, "A bit out of place, don't you think?"

Shrugging eloquently the handsome vampire replied, "I've never liked the color black and I don't see why so many of our kind do."

Smiling in amusement Angelus stated in return, "Maybe many of them don't, but they seem to think they should."

"But not you. You've always had a strong fondness for it, if I recall. I still remember the night when you arrived at the opera in black from head to toe. The Parisians were in quite a titillated shock, weren't they?"

"They were." Leaning back in the red leather booth Angelus rakishly smiled. "The beauties lined up for me that night, and the night after that, and the night after that night." Idly playing with the rim of his glass he studied Simon from beneath his heavy black brows, "I offered to share one of them with you once, but I recall that you had other matters to attend to that night."

Sensing the currents that ran between them Simon neutrally replied, "You know where I stand on that issue Angelus."

The silence grew thick while the air about them throbbed with a pounding bass line. Finally Angelus let out a bark of laughter. "You cocky bastard! How the hell have you been?"

A small smile twisted the handsome vampire's lips. Despite the darkness his eyes shone with a crystal blue tint, while his cleanly cut features bespoke of an eastern European heritage. The dark blond hair was pulled back from his face and secured in a neat queue. Although taller than Angelus, he was not nearly as broad. Instead his build was slim yet muscular, and just as dangerous.

Older than the vampire sitting across from him Simon was a creature with very different principles than the majority of his kind. One of the founders of clubs like the one they were in, Simon had merely taken his own personal feeding habits and made a business of it. Although his no-kill beliefs did make him a target amongst some vampires, Simon had more than proved his prowess and ability to hold his own against any and all-Angelus included.

"I've been good. And how have you enjoyed your return?"

"It's been a blast," Angelus drawled. The last time he and Simon had seen each other they had come to blows and now here they were sharing memories of old. Tightening his jaw slightly Angelus had to revise that. Technically they had briefly passed by one another in the '40s, at least Angel and Simon did.

Angel.

Angrily Angelus wondered if Buffy was going to give it at least a night or was she going to immediately seek to find the hidden pieces of Angel's life.

"You play with fire Angelus."

Sliding his hardening gaze towards the male across from him he coolly asked, "What ever could you mean?"

Recognizing his tact Simon quietly explained. "Your obsessions have never ended well, as you know. But this time-"

"This time what?" Angelus fairly purred, itching to find a way to get his frustration and fury out.

"This time the world may tremble from it."

"A bit poetic for even your tastes, wouldn't you say?" Angelus caustically growled.

Although realizing the danger of provoking a vampire like Angelus, despite the tenuous peace between them, Simon refused to leave without saying his say. "She's the Slayer Angelus. Never before has a Slayer and a vampire been bonded this way."

"You know about it?" Angelus asked with a note of curiosity.

"News like that always travels fast." Leaning forward the older man asked, "Has it occurred to you what a prize you've created for the dark world at large?"

A measure of respect flashed across Angelus' eyes briefly. Actually he had had no idea that it was even possible to be bonded with a Slayer, much less the ramifications of such a joining.

Instead of thinking about the short-lived pleasures or staring at Angelus in awe, Simon was thinking ten steps ahead-his intelligence was a quality that Angelus had always respected him for. It was nice to know that although much had changed since he last walked the earth, Simon hadn't changed. "She's mine and all know it," he arrogantly declared.

"Yes, I heard about your tasteful display on the table." A note of censure colored his accented voice, clearly shouting his displeasure. "They're all watching you Angelus. One wrong step and it'll blow in your face."

Arching his brow imperiously the dark vampire asked, "Excuse me Simon, but I've never gotten a warm, fuzzy feeling from you before. Why do you care what happens?"

"I'm somewhat a keeper of peace here Angelus, between our world and theirs." Gesturing with his gaze he clearly meant the otherworldly and human. "If you do something to jeopardize this balance, we all feel it."

Smirking the dark vampire stated, "You worry too much Simon. I'm more than capable of destroying any challengers. If anybody has a suicidal tendency to try to take her, I'll send him on his way to Hell."

Seemingly looking at Druscilla twirl across the dance floor he coldly murmured, "Besides, the Slayer is mine and she'll stay that way."

Following Angelus' stare Simon acknowledged the pretty vampiress and all she represented. "Just like her?"

"It's different this time," he casually yet firmly stated.

"Is it?" the blond vampire softly probed.

Glaring at Simon Angelus bit off, "Of course it is! She loves me."

"You or your other self?"

His deadly fingers tightened into a fist. Respectful or not, Simon's words had the ability to rankle him, to worm their way into his deepest insecurities. "She loves ME now."

"And so did the others."

"No they didn't."

"Maybe not at the end, but they did love you once."

"What are trying to get at?"

"I'm just trying to warn you. It seems that I'm the only one with balls big enough to do so."

Relaxing his fist Angelus acknowledged the dryly spoken truth disguised as a quip. "You've never lacked in the balls department Simon. I thought my face would never heal."

Remembering that long-ago night the blond vampire smiled, revealing flashing white teeth. "Likewise. My poor Marie must have fed me three times that night and still my nose would not straighten."

The smile dropped from his handsome face as he continued. "The last time you ran through obsession, you lost yourself for a century. It may happen again."

Angelus peered at Simon before curving his lips in a ruthless smile. "This is different. She's obsessed with me. She seeks me. She NEEDS me. Soon, I'll be all she has."

Simon took the other vampire's measure for several moments. Finally he nodded once and said, "And so how does it feel to be the first vampire in history to claim a Slayer?"

"Just another notch on my belt," Angelus casually tossed out before signaling to a lusciously curved waitress.

"Maybe a notch, but a rather big notch wouldn't you say?"

Laughing shortly the dark vampire asked with a warning note, "That's not jealousy I hear, is it Simon?"

Levelly staring at Angelus he replied, "I wouldn't trade places with you for all the wealth in the world."

Something in the tone of the other vampire's voice convinced Angelus even as a feeling of disquiet snaked about him. Just then the waitress arrived with a decanter and two glasses. Gracefully settling them on the table she quickly took her leave. Focusing his once-more relaxed attention on Simon Angelus asked, "Have you fulfilled your duties as priest yet, or am I required to perform more confession?"

Mirthlessly smiling the dubbed priest stated, "One more question Angelus and I'll leave you to your own company." Awaiting a nod he simply asked, "Until when?"

Angelus completely understood the cryptically short question. Taking a measured drink this time he merely replied, "Until I'm tired of her."

Simon took a sip of his own drink before quietly asking his boldest question yet. "And if she tires of you?"

Angelus' eyes became hard and inhuman as they stared into Simon's. Thinking about what he'd find in L.A. he spoke so softly that even the blond vampire had to strain to hear it. "I'll kill her first."


	26. Chapter 26

Thunder and lightening streaked across the sky in a series of violent, jagged outbursts. Casting an eye towards the window, Buffy pointed the small remote towards the TV and turned it off. She had spent the past hour flipping between talk shows, shopping networks, a special on Inca mummies, and a cooking program. None of them could successfully hold her attention for more than a commercial break.

Drawing her legs up she absently stared out the bay window, watching the rain rush down the panes before dropping out of sight. It wasn't even her first full day and already she was ready to go home.

Now THAT was pretty sad.

Here she was in one of the most visited cities in the world and instead of doing her full share of experiencing the perks that came with living in a big city, she was ready to go back to one whose perks were all negated by the Hellmouth.

She and her father had arrived in LA the night before without much fanfare. After a small snack Buffy had went into what had become the spare guestroom (previously her bedroom) and waited for sleep to take her. Laying there between the stiff, unfamiliar sheets the urge to patrol had been strong, despite the foreign territory. Several times she was tempted to slip out and find the trouble that lurked in the streets but she had resolutely squashed those ideas.

It wouldn't do for Dad to find her gone on her first night there.

Not that he'd notice.

After talking to her for about ten minutes, her father had excused himself and went into his office, which had formerly been their dining room.

It was funny how this was the home she had grown up in and now it felt like she had never lived here. Almost everything was different, not because he had made changes, but because the rooms were so…empty.

Whereas before she ignored the changes and instead focused on the sameness, now Buffy could not help but notice the barrenness of what used to be her home.

A peal of thunder reverberated through the sky while the room darkened even further. The storm was really picking up and Buffy couldn't help but become exhilarated. She remembered how she used to be scared of storms when she was little and now they fascinated her.

Returning to thoughts of her father, Buffy wondered if he was happy. Looking away from the window she glanced at the barely furnished living room. Granted the words _bachelor pad_ often meant mismatched furniture and lack of niceties, but she didn't get that _hanging lose and free_ vibe here.

Watching the storm again Buffy acknowledged that her father fit the workaholic profile almost too well. She now was beginning to see it for what it was: a way to hide. Sifting through her memories she remembered how it was when she was little. Back then Hank Summers preferred to hang out at home and play Barbies with his daughter than work overtime.

But as the years rolled by and marriage no longer seemed as good an idea as it once was, then overtime became the norm rather than the exception. Eventually the ring had come off and then overtime became a way of life, perhaps becoming a second marriage of sorts.

Hearing the sharp crackle of lightening Buffy looked up and watched it race across the sky. Whatever issues her father had concerning his previous life was pushed aside during the course of a 70-hour week. She understood that now more than ever because it was what she did.

Training and slaying was a refuge that made her feel like she was doing something right in the world, and it helped her forget her problems. At least until Angelus started interfering…

A near-deafening crash of thunder caused the walls to vibrate and sent a thrill of excitement to course down Buffy's spine. The rain began pelting the windows in a furious beat and now the thunderstorm was over the house in full fury. Shifting position on the couch, she leaned on the arm of the couch and kept her eyes fixated on the glass.

These two Summers both used their respective jobs to keep the pain away. Buffy understood that now and in knowing that, she felt a measure of kinship with her father. Last night he had stayed and worked into the early morning hours, the electronic whir of his laptop keeping company with her thoughts, and making her wonder if his were as tormented as her own.

Buffy hoped not, for she had spent part of the night plagued with desire and the tortured memories that came along with it…

Sighing deeply Buffy wondered what Willow and Xander were doing. Noticing the black phone on the side table she got up and walked over to it. Picking it up she quickly dialed Willow's number while absently hoping she wouldn't get electrocuted.

"Hello? Is Willow there? It's Buffy. Oh, she's not. She did? Oh, okay. Could you please tell her I called and that I'd call her back? Thank you."

Immediately she called Xander's house, while keeping an eye on the near-black sky, and received pretty much the same news except that the Harris' had no idea where their son was.

Placing the phone back in its cradle Buffy smiled. Apparently Oz had taken Willow out to the bookstore and Xander was probably out with Cordelia-and out of Sunnydale. After all, even though Cordelia had decided she could "tolerate being around him and stuff" it would be a slow process before she felt comfortable enough to "tolerate being around him in daylight".

Wandering out into the sparsely furnished den Buffy felt the certain bland oppressiveness that sometimes comes with human silence. Although watching the storm building was exciting, now she was kind of bored. Beyond that she was troubled. Stopping in front of the patio doors she leaned her head against the cool glass and blankly stared at the backyard's soggy green grass.

 _Angel bought a piece of property one month before he, ah, left._

Like a specter, Angelus' voice rose to deride her. Angel had planned on leaving her and she still couldn't understand it. Closing her eyes she fought to kill off her embarrassingly quick tears.

After all they shared, after all they were to each other, Angel was going to leave. And he hadn't even said a word. Nothing.

Anger mixed with sadness as she wondered, 'While we were making love was he still planning on leaving to L.A.? And was he ever going to tell me or was he going to sneak off in the middle of the night?'

Killing off the pain these thoughts brought her, she stood there in numbing silence and waited for the emotions to fade. Once the danger of raw suffering had passed, Buffy opened her lids and gazed outside once more.

Despite knowing in her gut that he was telling the truth, Buffy had still wanted to hope that perhaps Angelus was lying. So after Hank had left, she had turned on the spare pc in the dining room, and found her way onto the Internet. The awkwardness of maneuvering the net faded as she quickly typed in a search for directories. Once it came up all she had needed to do was pick one before entering in this address and the address she was given.

 _He bought an old rundown building Buff, right in L.A. Wanna know where?_

As she slowly pushed each number and letter Buffy had felt her heart thud with a strained nervousness. When she pushed the enter button and the screen disappeared, she had hoped that it would tell her that there was no such address.

It hadn't.

A yellow map appeared on the screen with exact directions from her father's house. Angelus hadn't lied to her.

This time.

Numbly Buffy had printed it out, blindly watching the paper quickly shoot out of the paper tray. It was now neatly creased and hidden in her suitcase, waiting for the moment to be unfolded tonight.

Not surprisingly, but thankfully, her father was due to be having dinner with clients in Vancouver, so Buffy was free to stay out as long as necessary. Watching the rain lighten she humorously wondered how it was that her parents always managed to find themselves out of town when she was going to do something she necessarily shouldn't.

Her dad was due to be gone until tomorrow evening so he had left her some money and his cell phone number. Before he had left he seemed genuinely disappointed that all they would have was one day. Dressed smartly in dress casual clothes he briefly looked like the dad she remembered before the lines of fatigue stole that image away.

"I'm sorry to do this to you Buffy, but I have no choice. This meeting had already been arranged for over a month and I can't cancel. I told your mom-" Abruptly he broke off and changed the tone of his voice. "I wish we could have had a better time to do this. I'm sorry Buffy."

"It's okay Dad." Although he hadn't finished his sentence, she figured out what was left unsaid. Now she understood why he hadn't wanted the visit to take place. It wasn't because he didn't want her company; it was because he wouldn't be here.

Last year Buffy would've pouted and felt that her father just didn't care. Now she knew that he did care, but felt that he couldn't change the course of his life to accommodate his family, namely herself. Although they were choices he still chose to make, Buffy did not judge him anymore for those choices.

For she understood all too clearly how the choices in life had a way controlling the choice-maker, despite the purest intentions.

Pushing away from the door Buffy glanced about her. _The room's large enough._ Once she pushed the coffee table to the side she'd have plenty of space to do some training exercises. Bending her back to the task she quickly moved the table against the wall.

Slipping her socks off Buffy felt the hardwood floor with her bare toes before lifting her arms in a long stretch. Arching her calves she stood on the balls of her feet while taking a deep breath in. As the air expanded in her lungs Buffy thought about the call she made to her mother last night.

 _Hi Mom, it's me._

 _Buffy! What time did your get there?_

 _Just now._

 _Well, how'd the ride go?_

 _It was fine. You know-long, a little boring, but good._

 _Did your Dad stop for anything to eat?_

 _Yeah, we stopped at a Chick Fil-A._

 _Chick-Fil-A, huh?_

 _Yeah, it was good._

 _Oh, listen before I forget: Buffy, why didn't you let Angel know you were going over to Dad's?_

 _Angel?_

 _Yes. He was here tonight for your tutoring lesson._

 _What'd you tell him?_

 _Why I told him you were visiting Dad._

 _Oh, it must've slipped my mind._

 _Well make sure it doesn't_ _ **slip your mind**_ _again. I'm sure he's a busy man Buffy and it's just bad form to leave your engagements like that._

 _I'm sorry Mom, it won't happen again. Um, Mom?_

 _Yes?_

 _Did he seem…_

 _What?_

 _Nothing._

 _Upset?_

 _Yeah._

 _Not particularly. He just said the same thing you did-it must've slipped your mind._

Finishing her stretches Buffy began performing a series of defensive positions before reversing to offense. As the fluid movements of her body created its own offering of sweat and adrenaline, she wondered about how things would be progressing between herself and Angelus.

If progressing was even a word to be used…

Closing off her mind to everything but the task at hand, Buffy did not notice the passing of hours. Her body performed its task, perfecting many of her positions while greatly improving on others. Finally when the daylight turned into the darkness of winter night did Buffy stop.

Breathing in deeply she stood with hands on hips and cast an eye towards the murky view outside. Nighttime. Walking into the kitchen she walked over to the sink and washed her hands. Opening up the refrigerator she then searched the somewhat bare contents in hopes of dinner. Her body was screaming for food and if she was going to be in top shape tonight she'd better fill it.

Finding a large, uncooked steak Buffy took it out and placed it on the counter. Rummaging through the cupboards she soon found a skillet and some seasoning. Before long the mouth-watering aroma of beef permeated through the kitchen while Buffy prepared a small pot of instant mashed potatoes.

While her dad left money for takeout she felt that the money might be better served tonight in the form of cab fare. Besides, steak and potatoes was a nice alternative to pizza in Buffy's opinion.

Once the steak was finished she put it on a great big plate along with a healthy serving of instant mashed potatoes. Taking her dinner to the living room Buffy flipped on the TV and a lamp. Setting her plate down she then walked back into the kitchen for a glass of juice. Seeing the jug she mischievously shrugged and took it with her into the living room along with her cup. No sense in having to keep getting up when there was no one there to remind her of good manners.

Buffy idly scanned through the channels before settling on a game show. Between cutting her steak she watched the program and tried to relax her mind. The more she tried to relax, the faster she ate, until it was obvious to Buffy that the truth was she was ready to go.

Finishing off her meal she turned off the TV and dropped her plate off in the kitchen. Going into her room she pulled her suitcase off the floor and plopped it on the bed. Unzipping it Buffy rummaged through her clothes until she found what she was looking for. Laying out her hunting clothes and gear, along with the folded sheet of paper, she went into the bathroom and took a shower.

Within minutes Buffy was out, dried off, and in the process of doing her hair. Tonight was not a night to be fashionably cute so she securely clipped her hair to the back so that it was arranged in a modern twist. Make-up itself was very minimal, not more than a light sweeping of shadow across the lids and sheer lip-gloss.

Striding back into the bedroom she slipped on a black thong along with a black sports bra. Adjusting her underclothing to satisfaction Buffy then pulled up a pair of black form-fitting pants. Although they appeared tight they were actually quite comfortable and flexible, allowing Buffy all the freedom of movement she needed. A lightweight, black turtleneck top, jacket, socks, stakes, and small boots were all put on before Buffy was ready to walk out the door. Reaching down she stuffed Angel's address into her pocket and purposefully strode into the hallway.

The click of her shoes echoed loudly throughout the house as Buffy grabbed her key and checked to make sure all the doors were locked. It was a habit she was beginning to develop after realizing she pretty much left them unlocked all the time, which was completely not the safe thing to do, Slayer or not.

Closing the front door behind her Buffy walked down the drive and down the sidewalk. She didn't want any of her former neighbors to be aware of her movements and since cabs were generally not seen in this neighborhood, they'd notice. Especially Mrs. Wagner the older woman across the street. Smiling in amusement Buffy realized that her incognito plans might already be foiled, because for all she knew Mrs. Wagner was watching her now.

Glancing a look over her shoulder, she could see the corner of the front window pulled away slightly, allowing enough light from the living room to make an outline of the head there.

Turning away Buffy laughed softly as she picked up her pace. As annoying as it once was, it was nice to know that although many things do change, some things stayed the same, including Mrs. Wagner.

After walking a mile or two, Buffy saw the blinding lights of a gas station loom ahead. Speeding up her pace she noticed that only a few cars were there. Spying a phone booth set on the curb she quickly reached it. Hefting the awkwardly attached phonebook she impatiently flipped through the worn pages until she came across the listings for cabs.

Picking one Buffy reached into her pocket and pulled out two quarters. Inserting them into the machine she dialed the number and soon was giving the address of the station. Hanging up the phone she walked closer to the well-lit doors and waited.

Although she wanted to ignore it, Buffy could feel the tight twist of nervousness make itself comfortable in her stomach. If she weren't so tense she'd probably be pacing at this moment. Her imaginations began to run wild as she wondered what would prompt Angel to purchase a whole building in one of the rougher parts of town.

Traitorously her mind also began to wonder what other aspects of Angel's life did she NOT know. He had known Oz was a werewolf, but hadn't told her-she could understand that one. But not this.

Seeing yellow lights turning towards the station Buffy saw that her cab was there. Lifting an arm up in the air she waited for it to pull up at the curb. Stepping down she walked to the passenger door and opened it. Sliding in she gave the driver the address and leaned back.

The world of suburbia quickly sped away as the cab drove towards the sprawling center of L.A. Disinterestedly looking out the window Buffy watched as miles of concrete held all manners of cars, trucks, and vans. A red convertible with its top down abruptly ensnared her attention. A young blond woman was behind the wheel, her straight bleached hair waving like a banner as the car zipped by.

Buffy recognized the stranger as a vampire.

Narrowing her eyes she leaned towards the driver and amended the address. While she couldn't go speed after the vampiress, she could make sure she patrolled tonight and perhaps caught her later.

The cab left the highway and drove onto an exit ramp. Soon they left the anonymous concrete road behind and traveled deeper into a world that was far removed from even Sunnydale's seedier districts.

Buffy raptly watched the scenery passing by her now. This was to be Angel's world, his domain. As the derelict streets grew more and more depressing, her understanding of how real this situation grew more and more intense.

Strangely with each numbed soul that stood at the street corner, with each husk of a human that stumbled onto the street, the closer Buffy felt to Angel. He had purposely chosen this place because this is where he felt he belonged, where he needed to be.

Abruptly Buffy thought of Angelus.

Angelus, the narcissistic ruler of all he surveyed would never choose to live among this sort of human. He would feed on them, torment them as he saw fit, but his pride was such that he would never lower himself to LIVE among the dirty masses.

The sinfully luxurious penthouse in the sky proved that more than anything. Spike and Druscilla chose to live in a factory, with all the metal and outdated amenities it could offer, but not Angelus. No, he needed imported glass, exquisitely painted ceilings, and plush bed curtains.

Angel merely had a small bed pushed against the wall…

Leaning her head back against the seat Buffy felt such bewilderment. Angel was her first love, nothing could change that, not even if fate had a different path and Angel had left for L.A. as Angel. There was so much she loved about him; his gentleness, caring, and selflessness were just the beginning.

And now…

Now she loved Angelus as well.

Unconsciously frowning Buffy amended that thought. Love was not the word for what she felt for Angelus. It was too soft. What she suffered for him was a terrible passion that had her within its crushing jaws. He had no gentleness, caring, or selflessness.

He had only told her about this hidden aspect of Angel's life just to hurt her, to make her hate Angel. Feeling the cab come to a stop Buffy quickly scanned the surroundings outside her window before leaning forward to pay the cabbie.

Angelus wanted her to hate Angel but instead he made her understand and love Angel even more.

Stepping out of the cab Buffy shut the door behind her and sized up the seemingly abandoned surroundings. The sound of the cab's engine pulling away was the only one that echoed in the night. Walking down the cracked and pitted sidewalk Buffy could see the dismal wetness that marked the forsaken urban street

Buffy's heightened hearing heard a rustle in the alleyway that was accompanied by only one heartbeat. Purposefully striding towards the decayed and hidden insides of this lonely place, Buffy felt an energy pulse through her system.

Angel's building was only one block down but she was not going to see it yet. Instead she was going to take care of some business-slaying business.

Walking away from the discreet, out of the way jeweler's shop, Angelus patted the large sturdy box resting in his jacket pocket. Feeling a smug satisfied smile tug his lips he resisted the urge to openly let it forth.

Instead he leisurely put his hands in his pockets and whistled a low, measured tune. The beings that passed gave little attention to the tall, broad man. After all, the streets were well lit, and crime was almost non-existent in this part of town. However, deciding to stroll the streets of LA could be a danger if one wasn't careful, and it was a danger Angelus wholeheartedly hoped someone would decide to take.

But not for his thirst…

Confidently making his way towards one of the more seedier, industrial districts Angelus reached out with his senses. The power that surged through him gave Angelus a start. Their connection had never felt like this and he immediately craved more. Though never trying this before with Buffy, he could feel that he would be successful.

Focusing on the world in front of him, he allowed a portion of himself to connect with the world as SHE saw it. His mind sped past the thousands of life forces that dotted the landscape until it found her.

Slowing his pace Angelus could **see** that Buffy was engaged in battle with a vicious vampire. The little scarred spitfire of furious intent apparently had no intention of allowing the Slayer to succeed in jamming a stake in her heart.

Not that he blamed the vampiress.

But unfortunately for her, this night would mark the end of the female's reign. Angelus could feel the confidence that hummed through Buffy's veins and could sense the sureness of victory that flavored her consciousness.

Smiling with a hint of malice Angelus pulled away from Buffy. He hoped his lover staked this one a little harder than the rest.

Besides, no matter how good of a fighter the spitfire was, his whore was just too good of Slayer…

Nimbly jumping in the air Buffy avoided a sweeping leg spin. Impatiently blowing a strand of fallen air from her face she innocently asked, "How'd you get that scar on your face? I mean no offense, but it IS pretty big."

As soon as the vampiress shifted slightly in her guard Buffy attacked with a nasty blow to the gut. Although it DID make her seem shallow and vapid, relying on the superficial sometimes proved to be an advantage.

Dead or not, most females were very protective about their looks.

This one apparently was no different.

Staggering back a few feet the female showed a wicked mouth full of wickeder teeth and snarled, "I'd rather have a scar on my face than be what you are."

"Really? So you'd rather be a candidate for reconstructive surgery than a Slayer?" Circling her prey Buffy mockingly pouted, "You vamps are always talking about my calling as if your gig is SO much better."

Lashing out with a powerful fist to the chest before dealing an uppercut to the chin, Buffy watched as the vampiress flew back into the unforgiving wet concrete.

Quickly straddling the female she pulled out a stake and held it securely in her fist. "Maybe I'm biased, but walking around the way you guys do-you know with ridges on your face all the time-kept in the dark, out of the sun, joining forces with Evil, is just NOT making the strongest of cases here-"

Hissing in hatred the vampiress spat, "Being a Slayer is not as bad as what you are now!"

By this point Buffy would have already staked her and moved on but something in the female's tone held her hand. Staring down into the vampiress' twisted face she was surprised to hear the vehement, "I'd rather die than be what you are-a WHORE!"

Frowning in confusion Buffy repeated, "Whore?"

"Yes a whore!" Keeping her cold gaze on Buffy the female turned her head slightly. "You see the scar on my face? I wear it proudly." Moving her head back to its original position she heatedly asked, "You know why?"

Pulling back slightly Buffy evenly obliged. "Why?"

"Because I refused to be the plaything of a Morwak! He wanted me, I spit in his face. He threatened to disfigure me, I bit a chunk out of his arm." Proudly arching her neck the vampiress once again displayed the thick, twisted scar that ran from her temple all the way to the underside of her chin. "This is what I got for my trouble but by then he didn't want me either."

Buffy didn't want to feel pity, kinship, understanding, ANYTHING for this thing beneath her but she needed to ask. "Did the Morwak rape you?"

The unknown vampiress met Buffy's gaze and emotionlessly replied, "Yes, but I felt nothing. NOTHING."

Buffy couldn't help but remember her own rape before feeling the twist of shame of how she had responded to Angelus' calculated caresses afterwards. Unlike her, SHE had felt everything that night.

"He raped me then put this on my face." Once more the vampiress gestured with her face, highlighting the gruesome scar in the weak light that somehow filtered in through the tiny space between the crumbling buildings.

Easing away but remaining firmly on the woman beneath her, Buffy asked in a low voice, "Why didn't you heal?"

"Because he used one of the magicks his kind has-the ability to scar to for life."

Buffy could not help but see the deep tremor of pain that went through the woman. The vulnerable emotion vanished immediately beneath a glare of judgment. "I may be ugly to a pretty thing like you, but at least I've got my dignity."

As the woman made claim to hers, Buffy acknowledged her own. "And so do I."

"Not if you're whoring for the Scourge."

Smoothly rising off the vampiress Buffy stood with legs splayed firmly. Logic told her to stake the demon and be done, but somehow she found herself answering, "I don't whore for him-"

Rising on her own the vampiress positioned herself several feet away from the Slayer, her arms half raised and her eyes watching every nuance of Buffy's posture. "He's your enemy, just like I am, and you let him into you. He is one of us and you betray yourself by fucking him."

Buffy reacted in anger and punched the scarred woman in the face. "How the hell do you know so much about my business?"

Not bothering to wipe the blood and spittle from her chin the woman merely replied, "The world is small and you're big within it. Whether we really care or not, some of us can't help but hear about you. Kind of like tabloids-a waste of space but someone's buying 'em."

"Tabloids. Maybe it's just called nosiness." In different circumstances Buffy would have laughed at the dryly spoken assertion, but this was not one of those circumstances.

Dropping her defensive stance the vampiress shifted her form, showing her other face. "Afraid not Buffy."

Looking at the human visage of the vampiress Buffy hated to hear and see how human she was becoming. Just hearing her name spoken by the demon creeped her out-but only because of the tiredness and weary acceptance that came with it.

It sounded nothing like the voices of the vampires that she staked regularly in Sunnydale. Those spoke with single-minded tendencies of destruction and mayhem, unlike this one.

Despite the murky darkness Buffy could see that once this woman had been very beautiful. Her eyes were a pure green, while her hair was so blonde that it shone white, at least the parts that were not as dirty did. The side of her face that was unmarked was flawless. Buffy could understand what would make a man want this woman.

What she didn't understand is how a man could want to destroy her beauty.

Her attention was quickly held by the vampiress again when she started speaking. "All the fellas down here want a taste of you now. Before they just wanted you dead, but now they want to do you before that."

Shock made Buffy's face twist in a grimace of disgust. "DO ME?! That is SO gross!"

Crossing her arms across her chest the woman mirthlessly smiled. "Is it? After all, you willingly lay down with the most vicious vampire that's ever walked the earth. Can you blame a man for wanting?"

Buffy's features became cold and drawn. "You're really trying to make this personal, aren't you?"

"No. Even though I hate what you stand for, and even though I know you're going to probably kill me, I think that you should know what's stirring up around you."

"What I do with Angelus or don't do with him is my business."

"Angelus is it? You should hear how soft your voice gets when you say the Scourge's name." Crudely spitting a mouthful of blood on the ground between them she snarled, "It's disgusting."

"Disgusting?! It's not as disgusting as what you do! I don't go around killing people-"

"I'm selective-only the scum Slayer."

"Scum? Something that rings familiar, perhaps?", Buffy asked with false sweetness.

"Pimps, psychos, drug dealers-those sound like upright citizens to you?" Not waiting for Buffy to respond she coldly stated, "They deserve to die."

"Says who? You can't go around deciding who lives and dies!"

"But you can? You can decide that I deserve to die because I'm not human like you?"

Sidestepping the question that suddenly made Buffy uncomfortable, and took her to a place she'd rather not think about, she asserted, "You were trying to kill that prostitute when I came in here."

"Through mercy Slayer." Keeping her gaze on Buffy she said, "She's still there. If I was randomly feeding, don't you think she would've left by now?"

Buffy's gaze slid against the littered wall and realized that she was right. The painfully thin prostitute was still slumped against the bricks, blankly watching them both.

"Is she high? Is that why she hasn't run?"

"She's beyond high Slayer. She's ready to die."

"How do you know?"

Laughing with a brittle edge to it, the vampiress answered, "Take a look around! What do you see? Does this look like the pretty suburbs where you come from? Nobody lives here-they merely exist until the end."

Without even removing her gaze from the street-walker, Buffy could see the truth of the vampiress' words. Track marks obscenely ran all along the stick-like arms, while deep, mottled bruises flashed sickly against the pastiness of her sallow skin and torn stockings.

Peering into the poor soul's face Buffy mentally peeled back the outer signs of a hard life and saw that the woman was no woman at all, but merely a girl.

Drawing back Buffy whispered, "She's no older than me."

Walking to stand next to Buffy the vampiress didn't flinch when the Slayer spun and held her stake threateningly. Looking away from her instead, the vampiress looked down at the huddled girl. An unmistakable note of sadness entered her voice as she said, "She's only 14 and she's been out here for three years."

Horror flitted across Buffy's expression as she said in a shocked voice, "But that would mean she was 11! Why? Where's her mom, her dad?! How could she have survived out here-"

"She hasn't Slayer. That's why she's ready to end it. Only the strong survive-heard that cliché? What it should be is that only the heartless conquer." Looking into Buffy's face without the slightest hint of fear the vampiress ruthlessly stated, "She came to me and you're either going to stake me now or you're going to let me do this."

Lowering her stake slightly Buffy shook her head. "I can't let you do that. No matter how bad her life is, she can't really know what she's saying." Stumbling she tried to rationalize the situation. "She's high…and…there's got to be help…school…something."

Crossing her arms in an obvious insolent gesture the blonde stranger sarcastically said, "Oh that's right! All she needs to do is join the cheerleading squad and maybe even chorus and then everything will alright!"

"I didn't say that!", Buffy sharply retorted.

"Look Slayer, there's a world out there that you haven't even BEGUN to see. You think Sunnydale is as bad as it gets?"

"Gee, let me think on that. Vampires, monsters, Hellmouth, Apocalypse at least once a year- nah, I guess it's not such a bad town," Buffy sarcastically replied.

Snorting in disdain the vampiress replied, "What you've got in Sunnydale are Posers, pure and simple. Not ALL vampires are like those you deal with. The Hellmouth, I'll give you that one, but the world has survived without you before. You became a Slayer, what, a year ago?"

"Almost two."

"I've got underwear older than you."

"Okay, that's gross and not the kind of thing I'd be proud of telling people."

"No, the fact that I've got underwear is something that not many people here have, and THAT fact should gross you out. The way people live here and in so many parts of the world should gross you out." Shaking her head in disgust she pointed an adamant finger in Buffy's direction. "See that's why I say you've got a lot to learn. That superficial, immature mentality tells me that what you've faced is NOTHING compared to what's out in the real world."

Staring at the stranger's angered face Buffy could feel a sting of truth hit her. She defensively said, "Maybe you're right, but I've done the best I could. It's not like I've had practice before the real thing-I've had to learn as I go along. And maybe I don't everything, but what I do know is that death is not the answer!"

"You mean HUMAN death isn't the answer, right?"

"I protect people from those who are trying to cause their deaths. Vampires are the ones that cause them, even you."

Silently the vampiress absorbed Buffy's impassioned words before quietly replying, "You mean what you say; I can see that. That's why I don't understand why you've become a-"

"DON'T say it," Buffy coldly cut in.

"Plaything for him," she substituted instead. Cocking her head to the side she mused, "Angel I can understand, but not him."

"You knew of Angel?"

"Of him _and_ I knew him, for a little while."

"How?"

Jerking her head back the vampiress answered, "When he bought his building a block up. I met him then."

Buffy let out a sound of dismay. Running a hand across her forehead she looked up into the dismal night sky. Distantly she noticed that she couldn't see any stars. She knew they were there, but she couldn't see them.

It was kind of like Angel. She learned of this hidden part of his life, knew it was there, but she couldn't see it.

Suddenly a low scraping sound broke the silence. Looking back at the human girl Buffy didn't have to strain to hear the near breathless sound of her voice. Glancing at the vampiress Buffy could see the full attention she was giving to the young girl.

"Elissa…I…I…" The voice faded into nothing again as the girl struggled to stand up.

Buffy went to help when she felt a hand firmly hold her back. Frowning in anger she opened her mouth to pertly tell the now-named Elissa what she could do with her hand, when she was firmly hushed by one desperate glance.

"What is it Tiny T?", Elissa gently asked.

The oddness of the girl's name emphasized that she was from the streets, and her real name was of no importance in this world. Just as she must feel everyday…

Several moments of silence passed before Tiny T hoarsely said, "Not today."

Buffy knew what she meant and immediately felt a rush of relief. She was not ready to die, not yet. Just as quickly as the relief came, it fled. What was there for Tiny T to look forward to? The next high, the next john? The next person who beat the crap out of her?

"Alright. Remember, if you change your mind, you know where to find me." There was great compassion in the softly spoken words. So much so that Buffy found it hard to believe that it could come from a vampire.

The girl didn't say a word in response; she just shuffled out of the alley on her thin, childlike legs. Buffy felt a tightness in her chest and a burning in her eyes. How many more were there like Tiny T?

Suddenly she understood why Angel had chosen this place and why he knew Elissa.

"Alright Slayer-are we going to finish this?"

Elissa's voice held no fear; in fact it was emotionless except for regret. Buffy could hear the note of regret and understood why.

"Go." Buffy gritted her teeth until her jaw ached. This went against everything Giles taught her, it went against everything the Council had instructed them to do, but somehow it felt like it was the only thing to do.

Elissa did not have to be told twice. Silently she slid away, melting in the shadows until there was nothing left to suggest she had ever been there.

Frustrated Buffy kicked at a fallen crate. Her one kick had been enough to virtually disintegrate the old wood. Letting out a long breath Buffy felt even more confused than she had when she started this.

Vampires were evil. Period.

Demons were in possession of the human body, the soul being forever gone.

Vampires knew no joy except those of destruction and pain.

So why was Elissa different? Angel had his soul but Elissa was not Angel.

Walking out of the alleyway Buffy turned towards Angel's block. There was no use in putting this off any further.

 _I haven't done anything except try to keep my world from falling apart-and that doesn't seem to be working anymore._

The thought echoed in Buffy's mind as she strode towards Angel's past and intended future. The streets were empty and silent but she could clearly hear the sound of her own heartbeat.

Suddenly there it was.

Looking up she could see that it looked like any of the other dilapidated shells that surrounded it, but without seeing the address Buffy knew that this was Angel's. Taking a breath she strode towards the large metal doorway and tried the handle. It was locked. Although she could have easily forced it, she respected the lock and what it stood for.

Others might not have as much respect for what was his as she would, so it was better to keep the lock on.

Walking to the side of the building Buffy peered up and saw there were no fire escapes. However, a window on the third story had a ledge that had yet to crumble away. Tensing her muscles she doubted if she could have made the jump before, but she knew she could now.

With a springing coil of muscles Buffy released herself into the air and found that the ledge wouldn't hold her for more than a few seconds. Drawing her elbow back Buffy broke the window and dove in, hoping that there would be a floor and not just empty air.

Landing with a thud Buffy coughed as a blanket of dust rose in the air. Surveying the enormous room she saw an empty space that was broken by several large pillars. Cautiously standing up she tested the floor with a foot and was satisfied that it was sound.

Making her way around the room Buffy took it all in. It was nearly pitch-black, but she was able to see that although the windows were filthy, the only one that was broken was the one she broke. Deciding to find the staircase Buffy walked towards the entryway when she abruptly stopped.

There amidst the dust and darkness was a pair of footprints. Coming towards them Buffy held her breath. Peering closely at them she knew that they belonged to Angel. Not Angelus. Letting out her breath she bent down and reverently touched them, not wanting to disturb their outline.

Covering her mouth with a hand Buffy let out a strangled sob. Where these the last footsteps he had left here? What had he been thinking that unknown night?

Had he been thinking of her?

Sitting there next to his footsteps Buffy felt an agony of pain go through her. "Angel," she sadly whispered. Tears ran down her face and dripped onto the prints below. Horror went through her as she saw that her tears had eroded the fragile prints. Standing up Buffy hiccupped as she irrationally grieved for what she had done.

 _I did it again. I destroyed what he was, what is left of him._

The dam burst and her grief for Angel came out. "Angel…Angel…I miss you…" she noisily cried in the silence with her head bent down.

Abruptly the atmosphere changed. A tight fist of achy tension gripped her stomach and a hunger flared through her breast. Lifting her head up Buffy left the prints and walked through the doorway into the yawning darkness beyond.

Stopping at a railing Buffy leaned over and peered below, her tears still flowing while she hiccuped uncontrollably.

Standing on the main floor was Angelus and by the expression on his face he had heard her every cry, her every tear.

And Buffy didn't care.

"Come down lover," he gently called.

Buffy stood there for the briefest of moments before turning away and heading back into the enormous room.

Angelus' eyes grew mean with fury as he whispered, "Fine then. I guess I'll have to come up to you."

Idly he toyed with the idea of leaping up to the third floor, grabbing his disobedient girl by the back of the head, and throwing her on the ground, but surprisingly he changed his mind. Instead he chose to take a more traditional method-step by step.

Staring into the dark nothingness Buffy heard each of Angelus' measured steps and mentally cringed. She supposed that was the point. Not bothering to wipe the tears from her face she blocked out the ominous sounds of doom that he created and thought about Angel instead.

Alone in the darkness she wondered what he had planned on doing with this space. Curiously walking the empty floors with a bizarre nonchalance, Buffy's hiccups subsided until they disappeared all together.

 _It'd make a great room for sparring._

Drawing in a deep breath Buffy wiped her eyes free of tears. She could hear Angelus' measured and deliberately heavy steps, but instead of inspiring fear they simply inspired a numbed sense of calm.

"It's apt that you picked the third floor darling. It sorta symbolizes us, don't you think lover? There's me…you…and Angel. Always Angel."

Angelus' voice pleasantly floated up from the darkness, mocking her with a casual cruelness even as his footsteps deliberately made their way up.

"What do you expect Angelus? Just because you don't want him to exist, doesn't mean he doesn't." Buffy's voice reflected his own tone, false with a sweetness that could not exist in truth between them both.

The steps suddenly stopped. "Is that so?" Angelus merely sounded curious, but Buffy knew him well enough to know that his ego suffered immensely at the reminder of the man he used to be.

Walking towards a dirt-encrusted window Buffy laid her hands against the sill and leaned forward, trying to see what kind of view Angel would have had. Without raising her voice she commented, "That's so." She knew Angelus would be able to hear her smallest whisper; there was no doubt that she did not have his fullest attention.

If anything he was listening to her every word, just so he could find a way to punish her.

That's what he did and this was how she played into it.

Letting out a disgusted breath Buffy wondered how this time the night would play out the dramas that defined their unnatural attachment.

Listening through the darkness she could not hear Angelus but that did not mean that he was still on the same step. Turning around she leaned up against the window and asked, "So, what did he want to do with this place?"

Silence.

"What? You don't want to tell me?" she taunted.

Silence.

"Don't be shy now Angelus-not after you were so eager to spill it the other night!"

Silence.

A mirthless smile tugged at Buffy's lips. Pushing away from the wall she casually strolled around the room, deliberately making her steps loud and measured. "I don't hate him. Betcha didn't expect that, did you Angelus?" Tapping her chin with one finger Buffy mused, "I bet you thought that I'd hate Angel, that I'd be SO petty, SO shallow, that I'd erase him from my heart."

Silence.

Keeping sight of the door she sighed loudly before saying, "Maybe, that's not completely it-or it at all. You don't care about my heart, do you Angelus?" A bitter light entered her eyes as she revised her words. "Other than to break it, that is."

Silence.

"Well you know what, I guess I don't care much about my heart either. I can't if I let someone like you in."

Expectantly she awaited a response from the vampire who waited below, but she waited in vain.

"I found out a lot tonight-about Angel that is. And I have you to thank for it." Staring at the inky doorway Buffy did not see a hint of Angelus. The tight threat of desire faded a bit, and Buffy realized that her throat did not pulse with the longing of him.

Perhaps he had left?

Placing her hands in her back pockets she rocked back on her heels a bit and threw out, "What was the point of coming here Angelus? To see me fall apart? To hear me cry? Did it make you feel _good_ , lover?"

Silence.

Pulling her hands out of her pockets Buffy felt a frown knit itself between her brows. "I'm done. I've seen it, I know about it, and now I'm done." Striding towards the doorway Buffy knew that she had probably pushed Angelus too far, but it seemed that this was the role she would play.

Entering the hallway Buffy's eyes flickered through the darkened shadows and noted that Angelus was indeed still on the stairway, halfway between herself and the bottom floor. Indolently he leaned against the crumbling plastered wall. Lifting his lips in a smirk he asked, "Finished yet lover?" Yawning slightly he casually stated, "I almost didn't make it through your _fascinating_ soliloquy."

Coming to the large railing that ran along the walkway Buffy coldly said, "You're such a charming bastard Angelus."

In the near dark she could see a glimpse of dangerously sharp teeth and his smile. "And you're such a whining bitch," Angelus pleasantly responded.

Laughing harshly Buffy reasoned, "Then there's no point to stay in each other's company any longer, is there?"

"There wouldn't be, other than the fact that so far you've been an interesting fuck-so far," Angelus replied with heavy boredom.

Clenching her fists tightly Buffy felt a fury flare up inside of her. She hated him for making her feel this way, but she hated herself more for taking it. A haunting flash of violence splashed across her mind, brutally showing Buffy would happen if she kept him away from her or kept her feelings away from them both.

Evenly she asked, "Why do you say things like that? Is it to remind me of my place in your life-or is it to remind yourself?"

Arching his brow Angelus whistled. "Trying to take things to a deeper level, babe?" Chuckling he murmured, "Hmm…why do I say those things?" Crossing his arms he insolently tapped one finger against his chin. "Why do I?"

Disgusted Buffy no longer cared to hear his answer, knowing that it would pain her even more than she might be able to deal with. With most couples, once a declaration of love was given, cuddling could ensue the next time they were with each other, or blatant avoidance, but not this verbal sparring.

The fighting and anger was all that would ever be between herself and Angelus. It was madness that they continued like this. Now more than ever she understood it.

"It doesn't matter Angelus, don't bother answering."

"Maybe I want to answer," he stated with dark playfulness.

"We don't always get what we want," she noted with a touch of cynicism.

"I do."

Staring across the darkness Buffy saw his words as no boast, but the hard truth. "Lucky you." Despite his relaxed posture she knew that if she attempted to walk past him, he'd block her path. That only left two options-the window or air.

She chose air.

Gripping the banister with both hands Buffy kicked off with her feet and leapt into the nothingness. For a split second she wondered at the risk of making such a dramatic exit, but a large rush of adrenaline suddenly pumped through her body-making it all worth it.

Landing below with a decided thud, Buffy quickly scanned around to see if Angelus had followed. He had not. Peering across the long entryway she saw glimpses of the weak night light filtering in. Narrowing her eyes in slight anger she realized that Angelus had broken the lock.

Walking towards the door Buffy was suddenly lifted off her feet and spun in the air. Automatically placing her hands on Angelus' broad shoulders she wondered at what head game he was playing now.

"Are you finally finished? Your conscience feel better now that you said your piece?" he flippantly asked as he spun her around the room.

Not giving Buffy a chance to answer Angelus stopped spinning only to press her tightly against himself. Kissing the tip of her nose he amusedly murmured, "Now that we got that out of the way for tonight…I wanted to answer you rude and silly child!"

Cautiously Buffy asked, "Answer what?" As much as she distrusted this playful side of Angelus, she couldn't help but wish she saw this side of him more often.

"The Why Do I Say The Things I Do Question."

"You don't have to."

"There's a lot of things in life that I don't have to do-but I do them anyways." Letting her down he walked away but not before lightly warning her, "Now don't you go running away my darling."

Standing there transfixed Buffy did not want to even attempt to guess at what would occur next.

Walking away into the darkness Angelus left Buffy in the dark and dilapidated room and wickedly smiled when he heard her heartbeat quicken.

Strolling back towards her Angelus held one arm behind his back. He could see that she was wary of what he had, of what he was doing, and he liked it. Coming to a stop before her small figure Angelus gently said, "Close your eyes."

Just as gently Buffy replied, "I don't think so."

Laughing softly he drawled, "What? Don't trust me?"

"In a word: no."

"For shame Slayer, have I lied to you yet? Have I turned on you, like you have on me?" Watching her face blanche Angelus laughed again.

Settling her pained eyes upon him she whispered, "You know that I didn't mean to. You said that just to hurt me."

"I did. Which brings me to The Question." Running one cool hand down her soft cheek he repeated, "Close your eyes."

Buffy slowly shut her lids and waited in tense anticipation. In the ensuing silence she was aware of many things, but most of all she was aware of the scent, sound, and touch of Angelus. He burned into her with a dark possessiveness, invading and taking residence within all of her unspoken desires.

When she felt a velvet softness run down her throat Buffy lightly jumped. Angelus immediately spoke to soothe her. "Shhh…don't move lover. That's right…stay still and keep your eyes closed."

A giggle unwillingly crossed her pressed lips as the sensation ran closer to her collarbone. "I make you laugh, do I?" he purred.

"Not my fault…it's just that it…TICKLES!" Buffy laughed a little louder this time.

"I like to hear you laugh." His voice was suddenly as soft and gentle as the unknown pressure on her throat.

Swallowing slightly Buffy felt a sadness claim her. "That's not true. Whatever it is that we have here, you don't have to lie." Lifting her chin defiantly she muttered, "You've made it clear that you want me to suffer."

Shifting his hand Angelus moved closer to her small ear. "Your misery is not all I want darling." Buffy felt the velvet brush across her lips, slowly back and forth, and shuddered. "I want all of you-your laughter, your tears…your moans."

She felt a jolt go through her veins as fierce lust awakened. A hundred images seared through her mind, until all that was left was them: herself, Angelus, and Passion.

Always Passion.

"I say the things I do because it pleases me. I say the things I do because in the end-it pleases you."

Buffy's eyes flew open in shock. "Pleases me? It DOES NOT please me for you to treat me like any whore!"

"That's such a nasty word to come from your sweet mouth lover. I DO NOT like it." Angelus firmly laid a crimson rose against Buffy's lips, silencing her from speaking, while his brows drew together in a fierce scowl.

"I don't treat you like any whore-I treat you like MY whore."

Pushing his hand away from her mouth Buffy spit out, "And you've made me the biggest ho in the vamp community! Now every vampire out there wants to screw me!"

Grabbing her wrist in one unforgiving grip Angelus coldly asked, "What are you talking about Buffy?"

"I'm talking about how now that everyone on your side of the tracks knows about us, they all think that I'd fuck them too!"

"Why do you say that?"

The menace in Angelus' face made a quiver of fear pierce through Buffy's fury. "The word spreads and I found out."

The sight of Buffy's battle with the scarred vampiress raised itself in Angelus' mind. "Elissa told you, didn't she?"

"Maybe," she obstinately replied.

"That bitch!" Angelus pushed Buffy slightly and stalked away. It was the ugly truth and what was even uglier was how much it bothered him. Of course she was his trophy, and of course he wanted the world at large to envy his power, but for the world to in turn make his mistress feel slighted?

Slayer or not, she was HIS.

His to mistreat, his to glorify, his to punish, his to pamper. Princess and whore were titles that only he had the right to place upon her head of gold, not anyone else.

 _Get a hold of yourself, my boy. Don't let all of this be for naught. Besides, that blight of a vampire is gone. Buffy staked her._

Turning around he purposely kept his pace relaxed and slow. A small smile twisted his firm mouth as he walked back to Buffy. Placing the rose in her hand he then engulfed it in his own, lightly cradling it so that the sting of thorns did not pierce her flesh. "She's ash in the alley, so she won't be able to spoil your thoughts any more."

Buffy almost told him otherwise but something stopped her. Quietly she stood there, awaiting to hear what mercurial change of mood would fall upon them both, ever wary of the thorns in her hand.

"How did you know about her? How did you know that I fought her tonight?"

"It doesn't matter." Leaning down Angelus roughly caught Buffy's lips with his own. Tasting the sweetness that was the Slayer inspired a terrible lust for her blood. Pulling back he practically growled, "They may want you, but they can't have you. I defend and keep what's mine-"

Passion did not make her words any less vehement as she hotly broke in. "I can take care of myself! I'm not worried about what some horny vamp may want to do."

Angelus smiled as she strongly defended her fighting abilities. She was a prideful little pet tonight and it amused him.

"Of course you can Slayer, there's no doubt of that. The real question is are you worried about what THIS horny vamp wants to do to you?" Keeping his hand on hers Angelus easily lifted Buffy up into his arms and lightly danced about the empty, dank room. Quietly humming a tune that only he knew Angelus swirled them about, his steps those of a time long past.

As the minutes passed Buffy clung more and more tightly to the beast masquerading as a man. The music of his mind filled the building, and a dark magic began to settle over them both.

His black gaze burned through hers, the silent possessiveness stronger than ever. It was as if her declaration of love had binded not only her to him, but him to her. Like a mournful specter Buffy's heart spoke within.

 _If only he loved me as Angel did…_

Quickly pulling her mind away from such dangerous thoughts Buffy intensely focused on the mysterious beauty of the moment. Around and around they danced, his feet picking up speed while hers flew through the air.

Angelus' hand was ever cautious of Buffy's, gentle in pressure, while the rose's thorns lay harmlessly against her skin. His gentleness was seductive in its own right and was proving to be Buffy's undoing. Laying her head back she closed her eyes and felt the world pass by. The dizzying swirl of the room added to the exhilaration of being in his strong arms. The feel of his black clothes against her own made Buffy want to feel his cold flesh.

It frightened her how easily she was forgetting the questions of the past and how easily she was accustoming herself to the madness of the moment.

The room came to an abrupt halt. Pressed tightly against Angelus Buffy could hear her breath echo throughout the darkness as a confusing swirl of lust and wariness flowed through her veins. Looking up into his achingly handsome face Buffy felt the pull between them, a pull that never existed between herself and Angel.

Suddenly he squeezed her hand, forcing the thorns to puncture her flesh.

Buffy's astonished cries of pain flooded through the room for only a second before being swallowed by Angelus' voracious kisses. Releasing her body, but being mindful of where she landed, he released his cruel hold, keeping his lips on hers. Raising her hand to his mouth before she could pull away, Angelus dropped the rose and crushed it beneath his heel.

Turning his dark head, Angelus moaned with depraved delight as he lapped at the torn flesh while Buffy looked on with sick fascination. Feeling her gaze upon him he hotly declared, "Your pain keeps you malleable Buff. Your pain allows you to feel all of me. That's why I say and do the things I do with us."

As twisted as his reasoning sounded Buffy could feel a certain grain of truth rub her skin raw. Even now she could feel a loosening in her belly and in her limbs. While the pain had been terrible, there was a certain pleasure in having Angelus soothe her with his mouth. Glancing at her wounded hand she saw a flicker of his tongue before the wounds closed.

Standing up to his full height Angelus tipped Buffy's chin. "It's been two nights darling since I've heard you moan your love for me." The shudder that racked her body did not go unnoticed. With careful and confident movements Angelus stepped back from Buffy and slid off his leather duster.

Reaching up he casually flicked open the buttons of his burgundy silk shirt before pulling it out of the waistband of his pants. "Two nights too long."

Silently she slid the jacket she wore off her shoulders before kicking off her shoes as well. Angelus noted her movements only with an arrogant twist of his well-shaped lips. Buffy then reached up and let her hair down, allowing the pins to drop harmlessly to the battered floor. Taking her sweater off was not as graceful as she would have liked; the neck had a bit of trouble sliding off her head but eventually it came off.

Not wanting to see any mocking amusement on Angelus' face at her lack of finesse, Buffy bent her head as she unbuttoned her pants. They slid off easily as well as her socks. Looking up she watched as Angelus removed his pants and stood there completely nude. His arousal blatantly stood away from his muscular physique, boldly proclaiming his desire for her.

Keeping her gaze upon his Buffy reached around her body and removed the sports bra, before hooking her fingers in the waistband of her thong. She bent at the waist as she slid them down before stepping out of the tiny scrap of fabric.

Straightening Buffy stood there in the silence of the dark, her sight riveted on the body across from her. A bolt of lust shot through her along with a longing so intense that her face twisted in a grimace of pain. The longing had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with love.

It was ironic in the cruelest way of life.

With Angel she had all the assurance of the heart, but very little of the physical. The kisses they shared had only emphasized the incompleteness of their complete expression of love. With Angelus she had the physical, but none of the heart. With both men she had been incomplete and traitor that she was, the memories of her flesh were beginning to fray at the memories of her love.

At least when she was with Angelus.

"Come here." The low words beguiled her with promises of passion and pleasure so strongly that Buffy had no desire to ignore them this time. Slowly she felt her feet cross the space that separated them. Once she reached him she laid her hands on his chest and stood on tiptoe to reach his mouth. Hungrily she kissed him, no gentle brushing of the lips or teasing of the tongue, but a full mating of the mouth.

Angelus' thick and heavy arousal pressed against her, silently attesting that even if she did not have his love, she had his desire. Quickly he lifted her, settling his hands beneath her arms, and ran his mouth and tongue over her neck and throat. Buffy gasped before shivering with aching need.

Holding her aloft Angelus saw that her nipples were taut with desire. Needing to feel them in his mouth he settled his lips hungrily over one breast before alternating to the other, delighting in her mewls of satisfaction.

Suspended in the air Buffy leaned her head back and wantonly pressed her chest into Angelus' face. Although she was drowning in pleasure she was unsatisfied-she needed more.

Sensing Buffy's yawning hunger Angelus lifted her higher until his arms were fully extended. Nuzzling the soft fur that lay between her thighs he then boldly licked the hidden lips that awaited his tawdry kiss.

"Aahh…aaahhh…aahh." The cries rang throughout the building as Buffy's hips arched greedily against his mouth, wanting surcease to the torment of arousal, but craving more and more of such heavenly bliss.

She couldn't get close enough to him and therein lay the torture.

"Wrap your legs around my neck." His words were muffled against her hot flesh, in themselves causing her more distress because he was forced to stop caressing her.

Buffy's thighs shook from the intense need that racked her body. Even so, she obliged her lover and soon was torn away from all thoughts but those of the flesh. Angelus' tongue drove deep within, separating her folds, leaving nothing that did not feel the carnal sweetness of his kiss.

"Your pussy tastes so good," he rasped against her.

 _Lick._

"Cum for me baby…cum for me," he darkly commanded.

 _Suck._

"I want to taste your sweetness…cum for me lover."

Buffy's eyes were barely open as they hazily looked down. Watching the rawness of Angelus tasting her so intimately was a heady thrill. His head was moving with an intentness that mimicked the actions of his mouth. Moaning loudly she felt bereft without the complete touch of his body against hers. Even so, she would not deny her lover anything. He wanted her to cum on his mouth…cum she would.

Sharp need threaded together, fusing into a cord of aching want as Buffy's back arched. The pressure of Angelus' lips made her want to die of sheer ecstasy because he no longer teasingly licked her with his tongue. Instead, he pursed his lips around her clit, and sucked with just enough pressure to keep from being a gentle coaxing of release.

Immediately Buffy's body stiffened as the sharp climax tore through her, vocalizing itself through broken cries of physical joy. "Oh yes! Yes! Angelus…oh Angelus!" Time itself seemed to stop as Buffy was suspended in a world that he built-one that she did not want to leave.

Angelus gave a growl of approval as he quickly shifted her slack limbs from around his neck. Automatically her legs entwined themselves about his lean hips while she held onto his broad shoulders. Pressing herself tightly against his body Buffy wantonly kissed his neck and mewled her need.

Without any teasing or taunting Angelus nudged her wet flesh with his cock before driving straight in. They both groaned with sexual delight as he filled Buffy completely, her joy obvious despite the small amount of pain he caused her. Tender lovers might have experienced the need to examine and enjoy the initial feelings of joining, but Buffy and Angelus were anything but tender.

Drawing his hips back he forcefully drove into her, delighting in her cry of dark satisfaction.

"Say it," he ruthlessly growled before placing his arm across her back, crushing her against him.

Buffy knew exactly what Angelus wanted. Entwining her arms about his neck she breathed, "I love you." She refused to think about the travesty of her words being spoken to such a dangerous and unremorseful vampire, she refused to think about how traitorous those words were in light of where she was-she just refused to think at all.

Instead she felt.

Buffy felt with every nerve and muscle in her body, the most strongest of all being her vulnerable and fragile heart. In light of seeing that Angel had a life planned that did not include her at all, she felt as if she had lost a part of a dream. And the dream was a life that had not, in all parts, really existed.

As she had told Angelus, she did not hate Angel at all. She truly understood why he would do it, but that did not make the hurt go away. Up until her birthday Buffy had a future planned in her heart, and it was one that could not exist without Angel. To know that his plans were not patterned after THEM, but rather HIM hurt.

And that's why she could block out the logic of knowing that declaring love for a monster made her even more of one than he was.

Angelus' purr of pleasure at those misplaced tragic words of love sent shivers throughout her body. Biting his neck sharply Buffy delighted at the feeling of his large hands squeezing her ass in response. Releasing his newly bruised flesh she sighed, "I love you."

Angelus' only answer was to capture her lips with his and fill her mouth as completely as he filled her body. Against his mouth she moaned, "I love you." His growl of satisfaction clearly echoed throughout the building.

She ripped her mouth away and panted loudly. Gripping him tightly with her thighs Buffy rose up before sliding down. She was so hungry for him that she did not await for his lead as she usually did. "Aaahh…" she moaned, wanting this to never end.

Grasping her tightly Angelus obliged her fierce need and thrust up forcefully, shaking her tiny body with the strength of his motions.

Alone in the abandoned building Buffy and Angelus mated with each other, their bodies' passion furious in a way that was almost nonsensically tender. Although he slammed her against a wall, his lust-fogged vision had checked for any nails or debris that might pierce the smooth skin of her back beforehand. She, on the other hand, had already made sure while disrobing that the cross she wore lay behind her neck, instead of on it.

Things between them had definitely changed and although neither would acknowledge the change in direct words, it was there nonetheless in their actions and deeds.

Looking up into his black gaze Buffy saw not a vampire, nor a beast, but a man.

A man drowning in passion. For her.

The thought brought forth a low moan from the depths of her body. She needed him so badly that she couldn't get close enough. Clawing his back with desperate hands, Buffy pressed herself so tight that a mortal man would have lost his breath, but not this man.

Never this man.

Kissing her deeply Angelus closed his eyes from the deep overwhelming pleasure. Every time he was in her, it was never enough. By this point he would have thought that boredom would be an issue, a slight ennui perhaps, but it had yet to happen. With Buffy the joys of the flesh seemed to grow, not diminish.

And he had yet to really introduce her to the perversities of sex.

But even so, the feast of what was her body fascinated him, in spite of the conservative nature of their play.

Rubbing his hands over the back of her thighs, Angelus delighted in the sounds of her pants. Grasping her tightly he turned so that they then tumbled onto the floor. Raising himself on his forearms, he looked down so that he could watch his cock plunge into her wet depths.

Lustfully gazing at the erotic sight they were making Angelus knew that his gift would be perfect.

Buffy ran her hands down his chest, allowing the tips of her fingers to lightly scratch the smooth surface of his cool skin. Drawing her legs high about his back she sighed with bliss as she arched her body.

Her back was dirty, bits of debris were getting entangled in her hair, but she did not care.

As the aching knot in her loins grew tighter and tighter Buffy knew that she would never be able to escape the drug of his passion. The closer she came to the pinnacle, the more she knew that with each physical release within his arms, the more enslaved she would become.

Even now she wanted to feel him pierce her with his fangs. The blood beat savagely throughout her body, demanding to nourish her lover, making her feel hot and achy in a way that could only be described as bloodlust. She needed to have Angelus sink his teeth into her; she yearned to feel her very blood spurt into his mouth.

Buffy was well and truly caught and she knew that there was no going back.

Suddenly she felt Angelus leave her body and gave out a cry of distress. Without thought she sat up and murmured, "No, no…not yet."

Angelus' lips twisted in smirk of male triumph. Leaning forward he caught her lips with his in a carnal kiss while tunneling his hand through her hair. Pulling back he playfully whispered, "I have something for you."

Buffy's brows knitted themselves in a slight frown as she looked at Angelus. Seeing her expression he laughed softly and asked, "What? Still don't trust me?"

Despite the passion that clamored hotly in her veins Buffy answered a bit cynically, "Is there a reason for me to? I think not."

A thick brow arched up in false surprise as Angelus stated, "You don't trust me, but you still fuck me. Interesting."

Buffy felt a blush of shame tinge her cheeks and ears as she heard the blunt truth. It took all her force of will not to look away. "This is different. You know what you hold over my head."

"I hold something over your pretty little head?"

"You know you do! My friends-"

"Come now, lover. You don't really believe that's why you spread your legs for me, do you?" he mockingly broke in. Leaning closer he wickedly licked the corner of her mouth before breathing, "Is that how you justify it to yourself as you wash my cum off your body in the morning?"

Jerking back Buffy felt the landscape shift, leaving her unsure of what was happening.

Observing the emotions running across her beautiful face Angelus decided to leave off baiting her. Lithely standing up he walked to his discarded duster and reached into a pocket, before pulling out a plain, rectangular box. Strolling over to Buffy he noted that her eyes were wide with wary curiosity.

Settling himself back on the ground he ordered her to, "Stand up."

Buffy stared at him for a few seconds before slowly obeying him. Angelus leaned forward and gave the flesh between her wet curls a brief, but deep lick. Chuckling at the start of pleasured surprise that trembled through her slender body he said, "Good girl."

Buffy whipped her head down and stared at him with obvious frustration. "I'm not a dog."

Smirking Angelus thought, _No, you're not a dog Buff-but you'll get to play the part of being one. Later._ Instead he casually opened the box and lifted the white velvet case out. Glancing up he saw that Buffy's eyes were riveted on his hands. Reading the emotions in her gaze he noted the ever-present wariness but he also saw a small glimmer of burgeoning joy.

Holding the case in one hand he lifted open the lid and waited for Buffy's squeal of feminine delight. It did not come.

Looking up he saw that she looked shocked, her stare that of incomprehension.

She should be shocked. This little bauble had cost him a pretty penny-it was worth more than the quaint house she lived in. It had been a bit more difficult to acquire this piece since it was not of the norm; in fact he had paid a handsome sum to have it quickly made for her.

Lifting the long strands of jewel-encrusted gold Angelus fitted one around her waist and admired the beauty of his gift. Small, yet perfect, blue sapphires winked through the barely lit darkness, each one held snugly in a sturdy gold link.

Breaking the silence he stated with strong pleasure, "You look quite delicious Slayer."

Reaching down with one hand Buffy fingered the chain in bemusement. "Is this mine?"

"Whose else would it be?"

Without greed she wondered in curiosity, "Is it real?"

Looking at her in offense, Angelus indignantly replied, "Of course it is." Standing up he lifted one of her hands and held it aloft. "Turn around."

Buffy allowed herself to be twirled, the feeling of the chain foreign and cold. Looking over her shoulder she asked, "Why are you giving this to me?"

Keeping his eyes riveted on the lovely contrast of her skin and the jewels he absently murmured, "Why shouldn't I? You're my girl, aren't you?"

At hearing the phrase _my girl_ , Buffy felt a well of sorrow spring in her heart and pierce through the veil of forgetfulness. Although she tried to hide it from Angelus, his observant eyes swiftly caught and read what she was feeling. "Something make you sad, sweetheart?" Not giving her a chance to answer he murmured, "Oohh, I know why." Looking up into the empty room he mused, "I wonder if it's because we're in his building…my building actually, but that's just splitting hairs, isn't it?"

Turning towards him Buffy laid her hand on his arm and ordered in a low voice, "Stop."

"Stop what?"

Ripping her hand away she snarled, "Don't play stupid Angelus!"

Silently he looked down at her and merely waited with a small smile that played about his lips. Looking down at the beautiful chain that linked around her waist Buffy wondered on why he was really giving it to her, but then again, did it matter?

What was the use of questions?

Why had Angelus yet to cut off somebody's head and laid it on her porch in a nicely wrapped, pretty box? Why had he yet to try to strangle her? Why was she still alive when Angel was gone?

Holding the chain she felt it warm up and the foreign chill was rapidly fading. It really was quite lovely, exotic and mysterious in a way that was completely different to whom she normally was. Buffy Summers, the girlfriend of a gentle soul, could never wear something this luxurious but Buff, the lover of a demon apparently could.

Feeling a portion of the slender links with her thumb and forefinger Buffy hesitatingly admitted, "I—I—want to forget."

Angelus' eyes took on a predatory glint as he scented the proverbial kill. "Forget what, lover?"

Looking back into his eyes she murmured, "The past. Everything. It's like I'm being haunted-", Buffy abruptly halted in her confession. It was ridiculous to tell Angelus this, but now it seemed that there was no one else better to tell.

After all, who but he knew her dirty secrets? Who but he really knew what it was like to lie and manipulate those around you? Who but he knew that she yearned incessantly to have him?

Who but he understood her pain, even if he was the one who caused it?

Angelus would probably deride her, mock her, and hurt her with it but…

Quickly she rushed out with, "I'm being haunted by him. I'm being haunted by you both! I can't get the thoughts out of my mind. I take a breath and I find that I can barely breath because of the guilt. I can't live like this! I can't keep doing it! I can't stand knowing what I've done to him, and now what I've done to you. To know that I'm capable of-"

Releasing her gift she clenched both fists tightly and cried, "I can't keep on like this."

Placing both hands on her small yet sturdy shoulders Angelus leaned forward and whispered, "I can make you forget him, darling. I can make you forget your sins."

Turning her around he kept his hands on her and promised, "I can take the pain away. And I won't ask for much." Leaning down he gravely spoke in her ear. "Give me your pride, give me your will, give me your soul-and I'll give you absolution."

Angelus' voice was so seductive in its dramatic demands yet some part of Buffy knew that he could never give her the forgiveness she needed. But for now, maybe this could help. Maybe if she tried hard enough, the pain would lessen and then she could pretend that this was all that she had ever needed.

Leaning her head against the spot where his heart should have been beating, Buffy turned her cheek and tenderly kissed his flesh. "Take it away Angelus, please, take it away."

The triumph burned brightly in his midnight gaze as he lifted her chin in one hand and kissed her full lips. "I'll take it away Buff, but we'll do it by my rules. Do you understand?" Angelus waited several tense moments until she finally nodded her head.

 _She's mine now. Completely. She won't fight me anymore…not really. And soon I'll have her at my feet._

Pulling away Angelus dangled another chain in the air before bending down to put it on her. "Open your legs," he softly commanded.

Shifting to widen her stance Buffy felt a spurt of surprise when she felt the cold metal brush against her drying curls. Looking down she saw that the second chain was attached to the first. Feeling his hands on the small of her back Buffy felt rather than heard a **"click"**.

Standing up to his full height Angelus laid his hand on the curve of her hip and lustfully announced, "Perfect."

Placing a cautious hand on her mound of curls Buffy saw that the second chain almost bisected its way between her nether lips. Tugging at it self-consciously she looked up at Angelus, but before she could say anything in protest he said, "Don't fight me on this lover." Seeing that she was going to speak anyways he warned, "Or are you so ready to embrace your pain alone?"

Tugging the gold links with more force Buffy mutinously charged, "I feel like…I feel like you've locked me in chains!"

"I have," he said with simple finality while laying his hand over hers, effectively stopping her from breaking the golden shackles.

"I don't like chains." Her eyes darkened as she remembered the last time he had put her in manacles, the pain of helplessness, and the madness of fury.

"You'll like these chains." Whether she liked chains or not, he didn't give a good goddamn, for she would wear his. His finger blatantly slipped between her soft lips and gave it a wicked stroke. The tremor that ran through Buffy's body instantly put Angelus in a better mood.

As annoying as it was to be sensitive to someone's needs other than his own, it would prove to be the wisest course of action tonight. Buffy needed to brought under his hand, and force could not be the motivation. She had to accept his terms, but of her own free will.

However, there was nothing that could prevent him from making her see things his way.

Pulling her close to him Angelus hotly kissed the curve of Buffy's neck and shoulder. "I'll show you how much you'll like them." Running his large hands down her back he felt that the gold was warming to her body heat and found that it pleased him immensely.

Any time he had bought jewelry for Dru or Darla the stones had remained as cold as their bodies, beautiful but unappealing to the touch. But it was obviously different with his newest little lovely. With Buffy the sapphires inspired and beckoned for him to touch her wherever they lay.

And touch her he would.

Leaning down he languorously licked and bit at her nipples, enjoying the sweet taste of her flesh. He could hear the rush of addictive, delicious, blood rise to the surface of her skin, begging for him to drink. Angelus' eyes began to swirl with the colors of his passion and it severely tested his strong force of will to keep from morphing.

Holding onto him, and unaware of his terrible hunger, Buffy shifted her legs and felt the chain slide against her. "Aah!" she cried out in soft surprise. The pleasant prickling melted her reservations and instantly made her pliant to the torturous lust that her ruthless lover inspired so easily.

Smiling against her skin Angelus quickly lifted her within his arms and set her on her stomach. Straddling her back he hungrily kissed the soft skin, and took in the sweet scent that was Buffy. It didn't matter that there was dirt and sweat coating her, he could smell the siren call that was stamped into his memory easily. And even if he couldn't, he would enjoy seeing her this way because it added to the earthiness of what they were doing.

Sliding a hand beneath her hips, Angelus raised Buffy to her knees. Letting his fingers drift to her nipples he tweaked them one at a time, and delighted in the squirming of her ass against his cock. Settling her legs between his own he grinned with feral joy when he felt her spread them wider.

"Wait until you feel what this chain can do lover," Angelus darkly boasted as he carefully plunged into her accepting body. She was so wet and warm, her juices easily coating him, and allowing him to quickly sink to the hilt. "Oh yeah…" he loudly groaned as he felt her inner muscles clench him tightly.

Buffy arched her neck and her head fell back as she felt the exquisite sensations of his cock. She could feel the restrained power of Angelus' every thrust. The passion was driving her insane and the decadent beauty of his gift fueled the thrill.

Pushing back against him she felt her eyes drift shut with pleasure. Moaning softly she shuddered from the intense hunger. Buffy wanted to cum so badly that she could barely remember the last hour of her solemn quest into Angel's past.

As her body was lifted back and she rested on Angelus' wide spread thighs, Buffy entwined her arms behind her around his neck. Her body was completely open to him and she realized with delight that he would take full advantage. His fingers repeatedly found their way to her pussy, teasingly playing with her open lips and her newest piece of jewelry.

She quickly understood that her chain was not merely for decoration. Anytime Angelus pulled on it, the smooth golden links rushed up across her clit, making her gasp with ecstasy. "Oh yes…Angelus…oh…yeah…please…yeah…oh…oh…yes…oooh…"

Roughly nipping her ear he purred, "You like?"

"Oh yeah…"

"Do you want to take it off?"

"No…oh…no…"

Burying his mouth against her neck Angelus smiled with pure demonic joy. She definitely loved it if her increasingly louder pants and moans were any indication. Leaving her pussy, his fingers drifted down until they reached her delicious bottom.

He could tell that she grew nervous when he began to leisurely rub her small virgin hole. Concentrating on slowing his strokes, Angelus began to seduce her ass with light, unthreatening caresses.

"Angelus…"

He heard the question in her breathy moan and stopped the movements of his hips, although he did continue those of his hand. "Hmmm?"

"What are you doing?"

"Playing."

"It makes me feel…weird."

"Why?" he softly asked in seeming curiosity.

"It…well…because it…it's dirty."

"Don't you wash?" he darkly teased.

"I do! I mean…well, back there…it's not the same as-"

Shifting his hand higher Angelus patted her pretty curls and broke in with, "Here?" Feeling her nod he hotly whispered, "It's just as nice Buff-for me and for you."

Shaking her head Buffy unconsciously tightened her hand, clenching the back of his own dark head. "It'll hurt."

"How do you know?" he amusedly asked.

"Because-I just know."

Pulling the chain with a teasing jerk Angelus knew exactly what it ran across. "It can hurt-but it doesn't have to." Hotly kissing the side of her neck he murmured, "I can make it good for you baby."

He could feel her body tense but he could also feel her curiosity. "I know that you're curious about it Buff." Running his hand across her chest he joyfully squeezed one small breast as her breath hitched in anticipation. Angelus drew his hips back and pushed into her quickly.

He soon had her forgetting her fears, while he had not forgotten his desire. He wouldn't fuck her ass tonight, but he would have it within the week. He just had to get her ready for it and now was simply the first enjoyable step.

Again he allowed his hand to drift to where he wanted her most. Angelus did not force her to his passion, he simply made it so that she could not ignore the growing sensations his fingertips caused for her.

Gripping him tightly Buffy clenched her eyes shut while her mouth lay slightly open. The prospect of anal sex still scared her, but despite her nervousness and fear she had to admit that a new dimension of pleasure was opening up. It felt different from when he fingered her, and somehow it was more thrilling.

Buffy could feel her orgasm hurtle upwards from the pit of her loins. The combination of his cock, the chain, and his fingertips became too much and it echoed in her slight scream. Knowing she was on the edge Angelus began to thrust harder, forcing her body to arch and bounce upon his. Within seconds she started trembling before tensing tightly.

"I love you…I love you…I love you…"

As his mistress shattered in ecstasy he slipped the tip of one finger inside of her and was immediately rewarded when she fell into orgasm once more. Pushing her to her hands and knees again, Angelus squeezed her ass, delighting in the sweet torture of her muscles clenching him with all their might. He could feel his cheeks hollow as his own orgasm began to rapidly build.

Her body was driving him insane.

When he had found her here, there was nothing more that he wanted to do than feel her naked body against his. She was an obsession and in the midst of his passion, Angelus realized it and what it meant. He'd never let her go. Ever.

As he drove repeatedly into her hot flesh he thanked the gypsies for what they had done. The clause was the key to his being inside Buffy's sweet pussy. Angelus, not Angel.

 _She's mine. Mine. Mine. Mine._

When Angelus dug his fingers into her hips Buffy mewled from the pain and found that it only added to her carnal hunger. It was amazing how quickly her lover could summon the lust that lay within. She wanted to feel him cum inside of her, and she burned with the need of knowing that she could give him this much pleasure.

Head arched back, he was a man driven by his needs-his need to dominate, and his need to possess. Feeling his balls tighten Angelus welcomed the urges that sped along his body. Hazily looking down at the beauty of her hips and ass he now wanted to see her face.

Just when he felt his seed about to explode Angelus withdrew, reached for Buffy's shoulder, and pulled her to her knees. When her mouth eagerly settled over him and her hands squeezed his lean hips, Angelus felt the world explode in a rush of crimson. With one hand in her hair and the other on her waist, he loudly groaned, "BUFFY!"

Swallowing his thick seed she sighed with sexual contentment at the taste of her lover on her lips, and the sound of her name on his. Once his body was finished Buffy softly sucked the last bit of him into her mouth and then pulled away. Swallowing a few times to clear her throat, she tiredly lay her head against his firmly corded stomach.

Wrapping his arms around her slight body Angelus deeply sighed in satisfaction. He'd take her to a restaurant later on and watch her eat but for now, he wanted only to be inside her again.

As the high of being with Angelus faded, Buffy waited for the crushing guilt to overwhelm her. A tingle of her constant companion arose, before being firmly pushed aside. Somehow, she would make this work. The vampire before her was the cause of great sorrow in her life, but despite it all, he made her feel alive.

And being alive was the most important thing to her right now-because she knew that it would soon come crashing down on her head.

Glancing down at her, Angelus saw the small lines of sadness flit across her face. Thinking that it was thoughts of Angel, he kissed her forehead and murmured, "He's a ghost now lover, just a ghost."

 _And I'm here._

Looking up into his face Buffy almost confessed the truth of her prophesy. Staring up into his triumphant dark gaze, she immediately swallowed her words. She would never tell him because it would destroy her to see the same triumph burning in his eyes at her fall.

 _He hates me that much and I love him that much._

Glancing away she felt the sadness choke her. It was sick to feel this way, to allow her body to be taken by a vampire who loathed her, but it was too late to change it. She was well and truly caught in her own self-destruction.

Buffy docilely allowed her body to be brought back to the ground. When Angelus settled himself between her thighs, she arched into him with a soft moan. Linking her arms around his waist she forced her mind away from the melancholy thoughts, and instead focused on the dark magic that he was already creating with her body.

Both lovers were focused so intently on their mutual needs that they never noticed nor heard the discreet hum of a camera zooming in on their play, a camera that had been witness to their entire exchange…

The digital images traveled across miles of cable within seconds, again showing the infrared lines of Buffy and Angelus melding into one another. The two occupants of the room watched the screen with nothing more than a clinical interest-even the audible noises of intense sexual need did nothing to stir them.

After a few minutes one turned to the other and queried, "Shall the Watcher be told?"

A moment of silence was met before a gravelly voice answered, "No. He has already played his role. There's nothing more that is needed from him."

"Very well. I'll be leaving for Sunnydale now."

"Good. Continue with surveillance."


	27. Chapter 27

The silence of the decrepit night lay heavily upon them, as they remained sprawled on the floor. Buffy's chin rested on her crossed arms while Angelus' hand twirled lazily through her tangled hair. They had had sex twice more before finally falling from each other in temporary satiation, and the silence since had been deafening.

The one glance she had spared Angelus had reflected a face carved in living stone. There was nothing to be read, sensed, or even noticed about his expression-it was that remote. However, underneath the blankness of his timeless features Buffy sensed that a great many thoughts were screeching through his mind, and she was sure that sooner or later they would not bode well for her.

As for herself, Buffy's thoughts were no less chaotic.

Sighing softly she placed her hands flat on the dusty floor and pushed herself into a sitting position. Lifting her arms into the air she took a long, leisurely stretch before standing up. She could feel Angelus' eyes on her but she chose not to look his way. It seemed that no matter how peaceful things might get between them, it never took long for the emotions to flare up-especially if eye contact was made.

Walking over to her long discarded pile of clothing Buffy bent and found her undergarments. Slipping them on she quickly heard Angelus brusquely demand, "Where are you going?"

Looking at him over her shoulder she simply replied, "Home." Her thong felt a little strange now that she was wearing the two jeweled chains underneath. Adjusting the waistband Buffy heard Angelus' arrogant command of, "Not tonight."

Closing her eyes briefly she immediately regretted hearing the terseness of his belligerent tone. As unhealthy as the implications were, she was beginning to understand his moods, the various pitches of his voice, and what they signified. Angelus was already looking for a reason to dismiss the incredible passion they had shared less than an hour ago.

If only it were that easy for her to turn her emotions off and on…

Pulling up her pants Buffy quickly zipped them closed while lightly stating, "I have to go home."

Angelus' answer was quick in coming. "No you don't. Your father won't be back until tomorrow."

Her head flew up in momentary surprise. "How did you-" Seeing the smug expression on his handsome face, she abruptly broke off in mid-sentence before muttering, "Never mind." It didn't shock her anymore that he knew; Angelus seemed to find out whatever it was that pleased him.

Tugging on her sweater Buffy covertly watched the way his sleek muscles rippled as he uncoiled his long form and stood up. Even though in the past weeks she had seen his naked body numerous times, she still got a wanton thrill each time she saw it.

And Angelus knew, if the rakish smile he threw her way was any indication.

Standing still, Buffy waited in silence as he prowled towards her. The majority of men would look vulnerable and uncomfortable at best, or awkward and silly at worst, if they strode around naked, but Angelus clearly suffered no handicap. His nudity only emphasized the magnificence of his dangerous grace.

When his large hand cupped her face Buffy's heart began to beat in quick rapid pulses, the anticipation soon unbearable. She leaned into his strong body as he bent down for a hungry kiss. Almost immediately she was clutching his back tightly as her tongue shamelessly battled for entrance. Kissing Angelus was a temptation incapable of explanation. The truth was that it made her die a little more each time he broke away because it felt SO good.

Before her body took complete control, Buffy had a last moment of mental clarity: _No, I don't need to do this right now. I have to get my head together. I can't think when he's this close. AND I'm really hungry._

Pulling away from him with more than a little regret she stepped back and picked up her socks. Sitting down she slipped them on before finding her shoes and shoving her feet into the snug leather. Angelus observed all of his mistress' movements with little more than an arched brow before blandly asking, "Are you hungry?"

Frowning briefly in confusion Buffy replied, "Huh?" as she bent down for her jacket. Slapping at it she worked at getting the majority of the dust off before attacking her pant legs. If she didn't know better, she would swear he read her mind.

Either that, or he heard her stomach growl, which was a more likely explanation.

With more than an irritated bite to his words Angelus reiterated, "I said: are you hungry?"

Standing up Buffy propped her hands on her hips and smartly answered, "A little. That's why I'm going home."

Angelus smiled coldly and strolled behind her. Laying his hands on her shoulders, he leaned in and flatly advised, "Buff one thing you better learn real quick is that I hate repeating myself. You are NOT going to your father's tonight, so just deal."

Sighing softly Buffy replied in a low tone, "I don't want to fight tonight. So please stop trying to pick one with me." She felt his hands squeeze her flesh tightly before he stepped away. Angelus couldn't have the fun of a confrontation if she didn't give him one. Apparently the tactic worked because he began dressing himself without a word.

Running her hands through her hair she relished the thought of a brush and a mirror. Scanning the littered floor she soon saw her discarded clip. Walking towards it she scooped the black plastic up and attempted to re-pin her hair. No matter how often she twisted her wrist, a clump of blonde hair inevitably escaped her grasp.

Angelus finally put his hands over hers and suggested, "Let me help you with that before you make an even uglier mess."

Glancing over her shoulder Buffy realized that he held a small comb in his hands. "Gee, thanks," she sarcastically mumbled before relinquishing the clip.

Efficiently he ran it through her tangled locks, smoothing the strands until it glowed healthily. Observing her through hooded eyes Angelus watched as she grew more and more relaxed beneath his experienced strokes. Despite the darkness he could see a luminescent light steadily spread across her face, making her look ethereal and decidedly immortal.

This was only one of a handful of times that he had seen this change take her. The bond. The mysterious bond between himself and the Slayer was one that fascinated him in ways beyond pride and power. He was hungry for all facets of their change and had already spent countless hours pouring over any text that could aid him in his cause.

Angelus had encountered a few interesting references, but none that would explain their situation, even the most basic of questions. Such as, why was her beauty this spectacular now, yet seemed fleeting? Why did she resemble one of the few blessed with immortality, but later on would revert to human prettiness?

The questions were many but the nights would be long and Angelus WOULD be the possessor of the answers.

With her head leaned back Buffy's eyes were barely open as she enjoyed the feeling of having her hair combed. It felt so divine to feel the plastic teeth gently scrape across her scalp. "Where'd you get the comb?"

Angelus' voice echoed a certain flippant humor as he answered, "From my pocket. How else do you think that I keep my hair looking so good?"

Reluctantly Buffy's lips curved into a smile. "You're so vain."

He merely grunted while continuing to run the plastic through her locks. Lightly she sighed, "I love it when you comb my hair." Her mind was filled with him and the way he made her feel. When he was a bastard-oh how he hurt! But it was times like this that she could almost forget that he hated her so…and that she hated him as much as she loved him…

Angelus smirked and almost preened from the compliment before he caught himself. Clipping her hair quite expertly he insolently drawled, "I've been told that it's one of my assets. In fact, Darla insisted quite prettily for it each night-and I do mean prettily."

His sharp eyes saw the luminescence drop from her face completely. Now Buffy appeared quite human, with all the charming flaws that graced her lovely face.

Spinning around she soundly slapped Angelus in the face, her palm connecting with such force that it rocked his head back. Pushing him with both hands she angrily watched as he didn't fall as she had wanted, but nearly stumbled back.

"You asshole! How dare you brag about what you did with that bitch! Especially after what WE did!"

Rubbing his sore cheek with one hand Angelus narrowed his eyes at her. "What's with the attitude Slayer? She's dust, by my own hand I might add-"

"Your own hand? It was Angel who killed your precious Darla, not you-Angel."

Stalking over to her furious figure Angelus gripped both of her arms until deep bruises rapidly formed. "I don't want to hear another goddamned word from you!" Whatever mood of truce they had both silently agreed to was gone, and all with reminders of their past life. The ugly and humiliating truth for Angelus was that he irrationally loathed it when she brought up Angel's name. All the control in his being would snap whenever she did it and Angelus despised that loss of control. If he could rip out the memory from her mind and her heart he would do so with much glee.

And to that emotion, he had thought that he was making progress…

Flinging his arms off Buffy circled away and yelled in return, "Well you know what? I don't want to hear another goddamned word about you and some other woman!"

"Jealous much?" he snidely replied while beginning to circle her menacingly.

"Yeah, I'm jealous. There. I said it. So what?" Not even attempting to take the time to elude him anymore, Buffy walked over to him before tipping her head back and biting out, "It's bad enough that we do what we do, but I swear to GOD if you cheat on me Angelus-"

"First off, I would watch what I swear to God. Second, I'm not Angel. You don't threaten me," he growled in a voice that clearly shouted his growing fury and displeasure.

"Oh really? Well, guess what? I'm threatening you right here, right now." Buffy vaguely noticed that Angelus' brows shot up in surprise at the boldness of her stance. Lowering her voice she heatedly said, "I've lied for you, I've left all my pride for you. I've let you beat me, fuck me, and leave me. I've done all this for YOU!" The last of her words were punctuated by a less than gentle shove to the middle of Angelus' powerfully muscled chest.

Without taking a pause for breath Buffy finished with, "God knows I'll probably go far beyond that before this is through, but I will NOT let you cheat on me! You touch another woman, that means Druscilla, minions, whatever-you will hurt as bad as I will."

The words hung heavily in the air, vibrating with an impassioned intensity that left Angelus no doubt that his mistress was more than serious. Instead of slapping her as would have been his first instinct, he instead lifted his lips in a smirk and drawled, "Oooh, what fire! You know Buff, all this ranting makes you look kinda cute. I mean, you should see how adorable you are when you get all pink and red like this."

Buffy's head jerked back slightly at hearing the utter disregard he had for her warning. Her ears and cheeks suddenly began to burn as she abruptly felt the complete foolishness of those impassioned words fall on her head. How could she have said those things? By allowing Angelus to know how she felt about his fidelity, or lack thereof, she had once more given him a weapon to wound her heart.

Feeling completely humiliated she childishly spit out "I hate you!" in a voice thick with unshed tears. Turning around Buffy stormed off, hearing his mocking laughter ringing in her ears. _Why are you running away like a baby? You're the Slayer!_ The voice of her conscience angrily reproached her as she flung herself through the heavy doors.

 _It doesn't matter that I'm the Slayer. When I'm with him I'm just a 17-year-old girl. A DUMB 17-year-old girl._ The night air outside was thick with speculation and accusation. Buffy could feel the eyes bore into her as she quickly made her way down the desolate cracked and pitted street. In that moment she did not care who might be watching. All she wanted was to go home and let her father make her feel better-

Abruptly she remembered that there would be nobody home and even if there was, she wouldn't say a word.

Unbidden she could feel the hot tears splash down her cheeks. Angrily she scrubbed them away with the back of one hand. _Idiot! Why am I crying over that jerk! All he ever wants to do is hurt me! And I let him! AND to think that I was STUPID enough to beg him to "take the pain away?" What was I thinking? Oh! I'm such a dumb ass!_

The angrier Buffy was getting with herself the more she continued to cry. A bitter wind whined through the boarded up and abandoned buildings, ruthlessly reaching for the small girl below. Wrapping her arms about her she furiously stalked block after block, looking to hail a cab to take her home, but they were either occupied or she saw them too late.

A few times along the way she heard the cat-calls and whistles that might have frightened a normal girl, but right now Buffy would have welcomed the fight.

Eventually she left the seediest part of town behind and was making her way to the sprawling center that was LA's proudest picture moment. The beautiful artificial sparkle and soaring fingers of steel made Buffy wish for the humble viciousness of Sunnydale. At least there she'd fight amidst small historic buildings and the occasional playground, but here…

Here there was a whole world that evil could hide in and one that she might not spot so well. It was also a world that made her feel so lonely, despite the millions that existed all around.

Coming to a stop in the middle of the fenced overpass, Buffy blindly watched the vehicles speed beneath, their lights glowing with a glaring hypnotic pull. The mechanic whines and rumbles filled her ears as the wind howled with winter's glee about her body.

 _I thought it doesn't get cold here,_ Buffy vaguely wondered. Maybe tonight was just one of those nights. Propping her forearms on the prickly concrete she ignored the shivers that racked her body, and began to think of how the night had come to this pass. Watching the world go by through the metal coiling of the fence, she felt that her present view was apt to how her life was.

Wherever she was she watched life pass by, seeing it, but not really being a part of it at all. It was as if there was an invisible, but very real fence between herself and the outside world. And she didn't stay on her side alone.

She had company.

Buffy was supposed to keep the monsters on one side of the fence, and keep the humans on the other. It was her sacred duty, one that she had specifically been chosen for. Yet, doing that kept her on the same side as THEM.

And now she was having sex with one of the monsters she was supposed to keep away…

Closing her eyes Buffy felt her neck begin to throb angrily and her legs tense with a great hunger. The deliberate click of shoes cleanly cut through the night cacophony of human life. Angelus.

Without glancing to the side she felt him there.

His smoothly mocking voice floated through the air, wrapping each word tightly around Buffy's mind. "You have an annoying habit of running away Slayer. Makes me begin to think that you don't like me very much." Leaning his side against the concrete wall Angelus smelled the delicious scent of her aroused body with great satisfaction.

Observing her rigid form he could see the dried tracks of tears and inwardly smiled. His mistress' weeping was nearly as arousing as her pleasure, and her anger was only a spicy variation of them both tonight.

Giving an unladylike snort Buffy continued to look down at the freeway while dryly replying, "And you have an annoying habit of stalking. Makes me continue to think that you have serious issues of control."

A low laugh emanated from Angelus at the blatant insult. Moving closer to her he could feel Buffy trying to ignore his presence and it amused him. Only until the sound of her heart filled his ears with the primitive music of life did he lean his head forward, and hotly kiss the side of her neck. His taste of her sweet skin was brief because Buffy suddenly shoved away from the wall, and from him.

Angelus' eyes narrowed in annoyance as he coolly stated, "Well, then. I'm glad to see that you understand me completely."

Hollowly laughing Buffy disagreed with, "Completely? I haven't even BEGUN to understand you at all." Crossing her arms in front of her body she tightly asked, "What are you doing here?"

Leaning his head back Angelus looked up at the starless hazy sky and blandly answered, "Isn't it obvious?"

Arching her brow she smartly said, "In a word: no."

Turning his head to the side he pinned her with his fathomless gaze and simply replied, "You're hungry and I want you to eat."

 _Huh?_ This was not the answer she expected at all. Buffy blinked her eyes once as she slowly said, "I'm hungry and you want me to eat."

Seeing the confusion on her face Angelus felt a petty sort of satisfaction. Good, she deserved to be thrown off balance for making him go out of his way to woo her. On his far-from-pleasant stroll here he had furiously wondered why he even bothered with the Slayer. After all, she barely tolerated his presence, constantly ran from him, and annoyed him BEYOND words with her ridiculous moments of conscience.

He already fucked her, sucked her, so all that was needed was to finish the job and leave her as a crumbled, bloodless husk.

But then all he had to do was be in Buffy's presence and he knew.

As long as the madness burned savagely through his veins, as long as she consumed his every waking thought, as long as the scent of her drove him mad-then Angelus would continue to walk along the path of madness.

And force his darling whore to walk it with him…

"In a word: yes," he mockingly repeated with a smirk.

"You want me to eat because I'm hungry?" Buffy knew she was sounding like an idiot but this was not what she expected from him. She had expected, _I wanted you to suck my cock again_ , or _I wasn't done fucking you_ , or _Haven't I warned you never to turn your back on me_ , or a thousand equally grating things, but not something so innocent as her need for food.

"I think you already said that Buff." Pushing off the wall Angelus walked over to her tiny form and rubbed his hands up and down her slender yet capable arms. "Why's that such a stretch for you baby?"

Buffy felt a shiver course through her body at the huskiness of his tone. "Oh, are you cold?" he asked with grave concern. Soothingly he murmured, "I can't have my girl cold. Come here darling." Not giving her a chance to deny him Angelus opened up his duster, pulled Buffy inside, and wrapped his arms around her body.

Resting his chin on the top of her head Angelus whispered, "Is this better, lover?"

Closing her eyes Buffy was bitterly reminded of times past. His voice was almost the same. His touch was almost as sweet. His intentions…just what were they?

Pulling back she looked up into his cold eyes and knew that almost was NOT the same. "What are you doing?" she rigidly asked.

"What?" he innocently asked with an arched brow.

Attempting to pull away Buffy was brought up short by the bands of steel holding her within his determined grasp. Giving up at getting away Buffy exasperatedly asked, "What the hell are you trying to pull? Mr. Nice Guy you're NOT, so what's your angle Angelus?"

Rolling his eyes Angelus sighed in annoyance and complained, "Can't I care for your welfare? Or would you prefer me to stay between your delicious thighs all night without a care to your need for sustenance?"

Buffy could feel the heat rise to her face at his risqué question. Ignoring it she wearily stated, "You don't care about anyone's needs except for your own. Whatever there is between us, lies don't have to be a part of it."

Keeping one arm around her waist, Angelus lifted his hand and pushed back a wayward strand of her hair. Allowing his hand to rest on the soft contour of her cheek he murmured, "Lies, hmm? You seem awfully sure about what lies are…and what they aren't." Sliding his hand until it lightly gripped her chin, Angelus lifted it so he could look down into Buffy's face. "So Ms. Honesty, why don't you tell me why you ran off back there?"

Hating the vulnerability she felt she debated on whether to lie. As if he sensed her thoughts Angelus' hand tightened in warning. Irritably Buffy finally snapped, "Isn't it obvious? I left because you made me feel like an idiot."

Pulling away Angelus musingly rested a hand on his chin, the flash of silver catching Buffy's gaze and making her aware of the mate on her finger. After many moments of private deliberation he finally spoke. "Well, we can't have that-can we?" Smiling dangerously he purred, "After all, feelings of idiocy should be merited, don't you think lover?"

"Come again?"

Pity dripped off every venomous word as Angelus breathed, "Ah, I forget that your vocabulary is rather limited."

Buffy felt the cruel jab slash her with deliberate intent. The hurt flared brightly in her eyes before being hidden deep within.

His malicious gaze correctly read her emotions. "Didn't like that, did you?" Smiling widely he advised with false kindness, "As long as you please me, darling, then feelings of idiocy will not be a problem. And running from me NEVER pleases me. Neither does threatening me."

Before she could hold back the words Buffy asked in a low voice, "What about pleasing me Angelus?"

Arrogantly he stated, "I please you baby. You and I both know I do."

"I don't mean sex! I mean-"

"What?" he rudely broke in. "You mean you think I should bring you flowers, and hold your hand, and hang out with you at the Bronze?"

Spoken in those terms Buffy once more felt foolish. She didn't know what was compelling her to bare her thoughts to him, but then she remembered. Crimson memories of violence splashed across her mind before being banished. Holding back had caused an explosion of destructive rage that she could NEVER allow to happen again.

Never.

Snidely laughing Angelus said, "This was never an arrangement about going steady Buff. For Christ sakes! I'm not your boyfriend Slayer!"

This was what she was betraying her honor for? This vampire was what she was betraying Angel for? Knowing the torment Angelus' memories had caused for Angel, she still willingly lay beneath Angelus, and for what? To have her face rubbed in the fact that she was nothing more than a lay to him?

Staring at his coldly handsome face until her vision blurred Buffy mumbled, "Then get out of my life so that I can get one."

The laughter abruptly stopped as Angelus froze. In a terrible voice of calm he whispered, "What did you say?"

Feeling the tears spill from her eyes she repeated, "Then get out of my life so that I can get one."

The rage Angelus suddenly felt was so great that his mind almost completely blackened with unending hate. Buffy was HIS. His and his alone. How dare she order him out of her life? Clenching his fists he stalked over to her and immediately punched a hole through the heavy-gauge fencing next to her head. It took every muscle in Buffy's body to keep her from jumping back in fear. The rage in his eyes made her want to scream, and the restrained viciousness in his voice made her want to clap her hands over her ears.

So why was she goading him? Why was she saying these things that she truly did not want? She hated how he made her feel, she loathed them both for continuing this game, but the truth was-Buffy could not even see anyone else for all she recognized was Angelus.

But some part of her needed to lie to him, and make him think that he was not the only one who filled her mind. She needed to show him that if he was not consummed with the madness of their affair, then neither was she.

Although it would be a lie...

"What did you say?" he once more repeated with deadly softness.

Bravely Buffy lifted her chin, while tears rolled down her face, and quietly said, "I don't want this anymore. I want out, I want a chance for someone new-" Before she could finish her foolishly courageous lie Angelus let his hand fly and slapped Buffy across the face.

Falling against the concrete wall she cradled her swollen cheek and stared at him through watery eyes. Crouching in front of Buffy Angelus emotionlessly commanded, "Apologize."

Why didn't she stop the blow from falling? Why did she just take his slap? Her tortured thoughts were cut short as he barked, "Apologize!"

"I'm sorry!"

"For what?"

"For…for…"

"Do not try my patience-I promise you will not like it."

"I'm sorry for threatening you with someone else!" Buffy hated the underlying tone of pleading in her voice. She hated everything about this night. But most of all, she hated how she was taking whatever Angelus chose to give her.

After many moments her ruthless lover finally spoke. "I accept your apology." His hand suddenly shot out and gripped Buffy by the back of the neck. Leaning his head forward Angelus laid his lips against her forehead and whispered, "But I warn you baby, don't EVER threaten me with someone else again. Am I making myself clear?"

Buffy sniffled for several moments before whispering, "Yes."

Angelus smirked in male triumph before he heard her say, "But I mean it too." His smile faded away as he asked, "What?"

Clenching a fist within his shirt Buffy harshly whispered, "You're mine Angelus, and I'm not sharing. Ever."

Instead of flaring up in fury Angelus suddenly chuckled. She just didn't quit. Nuzzling her with his mouth he huskily answered, "Well, then I guess you just better keep me occupied."

Buffy frowned slightly at his reply, before realizing that for Angelus this was the best she was going to get. While it wasn't exactly an open declaration of fidelity, it was enough to make her believe that he understood.

Pulling slightly away Angelus stared down into her tear-stained face. Soothingly he murmured, "Oh, I made you cry. Here let me make it up to you." Tenderly he began kissing her cheek, caressing the rapidly fading print of his ruthless blow.

A well of heat sprang forth from Buffy's womb. The touch of his lips imprinted themselves in a way that could never be mistaken for another. Hungrily she arched up against him, wanting and needing his mouth over hers. Abruptly Angelus stood up.

Breathing heavily she watched as he held his hand out to her. "Let's go. There's an out-of-the-way place I want to take you to." Slowly she placed her hand in his, rose off the the ground, and breathlessly watched as he lifted it up to his mouth.

Placing a kiss on her palm Angelus' eyes slitted with pleasure as he smelled the delicious scent of her arousal grow stronger. Despite the trouble, the Slayer was definitely worth it. And despite the fact that she had continuously provoked him, Angelus was determined not to let her sway him from a more generous mood.

Tonight he would show her the charming side of his nature, and bitchy or not, she WOULD NOT keep him from doing so.

Keeping her small hand in his own, Angelus began to walk towards the glittering lights of LA. Looking down at Buffy he asked, "Do you like Chinese?"

Bewildered she haltingly replied, "Uh, sure."

Smiling in satisfaction he responded, "Good. I have just the place for us to go. It's intimate, dark, and like I said: out-of-the-way."

Staring up at his gut-wrenchingly handsome profile Buffy felt as if the world had taken a bizarre turn. She already understood that this vampire was capable of mercurial changes of mood, but this side of him, especially in light of his violent jealousy, was too new for her to understand.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Angelus continued to nonchalantly stare straight ahead, while his steps were significantly shortened to match Buffy's much smaller stride.

Which she also noticed with a wary sense of joy.

How many times before would he force her to practically run just to keep up with him, simply because he could not be bothered with slowing down for her?

Could it be that things were changing between them? For the better?

Not wanting to dwell on hopes that could so callously be dashed Buffy lightly commented, "I'm looking at you because I feel like it."

One corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk as he drawled, "Well if you keep staring at ME, and not the sidewalk ahead of YOU, you'll fall on your face." Casually glancing down at her wide gaze he evenly stated, "And DON'T think I won't laugh."

Rolling her eyes Buffy turned her head and faced the lighted city in front of them. "I wouldn't fall on my face, and IF I did, I'd take you down with me."

A short bark of laughter erupted from Angelus' lips as his hand lightly squeezed hers. "Aah, Slayer-always full of illusions."

Buffy unwillingly felt a smile quirk the corner of her lips as they continued to walk hand in hand. This was nice-very nice. Immediately she grandly replied in return, "Aah Vampire-always full of yourself."

Angelus briefly let go of her hand, only to smartly slap her bottom. Buffy yelped in surprise at the stinging pain, as he held her small hand within his once more. Unconsciously rubbing her offended cheek she heatedly complained, "That's such a crude thing to do!"

Ignoring the outrage in her voice the vampire replied with an unapologetically, "That's because I'm such a crude man, lover."

Narrowing her eyes in offended pride Buffy mutinously stared ahead. Her burgeoning feelings of contentment were quickly evaporating. How dare he just hit her butt like that? Considering that Angelus had just slapped her face a few minutes before, it seemed more than silly to be more bothered by this playful slap than that punishing one, but the truth was that it really bothered her.

She didn't know why, it just did.

"Oh, don't tell me you're pissed again," Angelus breathed with a tinge of boredom lacing each word.

"I'm not talking to you." Unconsciously her chin lifted while her hand lay limply within his.

Abruptly stopping Angelus waited in silence as he watched Buffy try to appear casually disinterested in their stillness-and in his observance. Teenage humans were known for sudden fits of moodiness, and apparently his mistress was going to act her age. Considering he was well over 220 years older than she was it came as no surprise, but Angelus couldn't help but be more than slightly annoyed.

Through fate and circumstance Buffy possessed a maturity that other girls her age generally lacked, and it was this facet of hers that kept him fascinated in her thoughts. Yet, now was not one of those times; playing the silence game while fuming with displeasure was an action that he often observed in many a teenage gathering. Instead of just coming out with what was on her mind, Buffy preferred to huff, puff, and pout her way to town.

Even in his annoyance Angelus irrationally wanted to know what was wrong with Buffy. Why was she so prickly tonight?

The Slayer continued to find disfavor with him, and it truly baffled him. After all, it's not as if he had punished her for leaving Sunnydale without leaving him word, or got angry with her for being found in the now-defunct Angel's building, or even taken out his ire on her running away from him again.

In fact, he had just given her a token of his lust to wear about her trim little body!

And to push his indignation further, SHE was the one who split HIS skull open the other night. While seeing brains out of their proper setting hardly made Angelus squeamish, it was not the most pleasant of moments to come home and see his own brain tissue lying there amidst his own filth. Beyond that, to make arrangements to have the mess cleaned up was just a chore he would have rather not had.

The point was this: SHE had not been the one to regenerate her own spinal column and fluids.

Granted chaining Buffy up and whipping her was not the nicest behavior in her book, but it's not like he had even left her back in shreds. In fact, he had broken the skin only once…well, maybe twice…or it could have been three times…whatever…the truth remained that Angelus had not inflicted a tenth of the agony that she had cursed him with.

So what the hell was her problem? Could Buffy's fractured moods still be related to the carnage of two nights before? But why? He had gotten over it and HE was the victim, so what was her deal?

Allowing her hand to slip from his Angelus watched as Buffy hooked her thumbs in the waistband of her pants and cock her leg impudently. He felt her sigh reach out and drift by his ear, clearly communicating an agitation covered by surface boredom. Meeting her eyes he saw her finely arched brow rise in dismissal before the hazel slid away, preferring to stare at the myriad vessels of metal that sped by.

No, that couldn't be it. This was probably Buffy just being a brat, a spoiled little girl who was miffed for whatever bitchy reason that came into her head.

Angelus did not feel like this was a problem he wanted to deal with tonight. Not tonight.

Tonight was a night that all he desired was to watch his lover eat, before he took her to a hotel room, made her scream with ecstasy, and then perhaps afterwards, watched her sleep.

Was that too much to demand?

Keeping his dark gaze trained upon hers, he thought of how to proceed-yet it was not with the usual glee his devious mind wrought. For reasons that he did not want to probe or consider too deeply, Angelus yearned for a small measure of peace tonight. Peace was an emotion that rarely visited him, one that he even more infrequently sought, scarcely ever gave, but tonight he needed it.

He needed it because the dreams had been especially vicious before his waking.

Angelus rarely slept, finding it to be a function that was usually performed out of boredom. Since his return to the world he found tedium not to be an issue, but he had needed to close his mind off to the desperation that threatened to claw him whenever he had thought of Buffy not coming back.

It still shamed him to the core to even acknowledge those suffocating moments of irrational terror. Self-loathing seeped from his dead pores knowing that the threat of the Slayer lying to her mother, sneaking away, and leaving him, had made him want to tear a hole through a wall.

And so the lure of sleep's forgetfulness had been a false enticement. It was a pill that he wearily wished he had not swallowed, for the miserable memories of another life, the past, and the future plagued Angelus in a way that still caused confusion and turmoil.

He should just leave his ungrateful mistress to her pouting, and find some other willing female to slake his lust on, but…

"Buff…"

No response, other than a slight jump in her throat. Angelus stepped closer to her, and instantly noticed how her hands gripped her waistband tightly. What was it? Fear? Lust? Anger? Hate?

Disgust?

A black well of doubt yawned within him. What if her love was false? What if she was lying to him, waiting for the time when blinded by her love, he let down his guard, just so she could drive a stake through his chest?

Simon's words echoed in the tormented confines of Angelus' mind.

" _It's different this time."  
"Is it?"  
"Of course it is! She loves me."  
"You or your other self?"_

WHY would she love him?

HE killed Angel. HE destroyed her soft illusions of love. HE threatened all that she held dear. HE raped her. HE beat her. HE made her his whore.

Why would she love HIM?

Angelus forced Buffy to look up at him by gently lifting her chin. He would see it in her eyes, and if she was seeking to deceive him, by all that was unholy he would make her pay! Intently studying her youthful features he blandly asked, in direct contrast to his tumultuous feelings, "What's wrong? I thought we were having a grand time there Buff, and now you're upset. Why?"

Buffy wrestled with the answer to his question. Just why was she upset? It really was no big deal, after all couples smacked each other on the ass all the time. Angelus had been jesting with her, not yelling at her, taunting her, or pushing her against a wall. The tap on the bottom had been a part of their ease, she was sure of it. Also, it had been nice.

It had also been scary because Buffy knew it couldn't last. Peace was not a function of their joint being-it was folly to even seek it. So why was he being nice to her?

Although Buffy did not consciously know the answers to her questions, it lay in her self-doubt. She feared the pleasant mood of her lover even more than she feared his ire. She believed the peace could not last, so instead of allowing Angelus to dictate when their truce would end-Buffy caused the skirmish.

After all his cruelty was so much simpler, because at least then she didn't allow herself to get lulled by the illusions of a false life.

But those answers did not come to Buffy, for they lay hidden deep within her psyche. Instead she found one symptom of the problem and pounced on it as the complete truth.

"I don't like you treating me like a kid."

That was not an answer he expected. A child. How did she presume that he treated her like a child, especially when his needs for her were obviously of an adult nature? Voicing his confusion Angelus softly asked, "And how was I doing that?"

Pulling away from his touch Buffy cried, "You hit my butt!"

He couldn't see lies writhing within the depths of her troubled gaze. There was frustration, pain, confusion, sadness, and love. Yes, there was definitely love when she met his gaze. It was there, softening the corners of all the other emotions that raged within. Stepping closer to her Angelus' eyes took on a lusty glow as he murmured, "But I thought you liked it when I hit your ass-especially if I use leather."

Buffy's mouth opened slightly in shock. A bright flare of crimson splashed itself on her cheeks, as embarrassment rocked through her. "What I mean is that I don't like you…SPANKING me just because I say something you don't like."

"What makes you think you said something I didn't like?"

"Because you-"

"Because I hit your ass?" Angelus' hand reached down and tightly squeezed her cheeks. "I hit this," the last word was emphasized by a particularly hard squeeze that pushed Buffy up on her toes, "because it looked so delicious. I hit this because I love doing it." His last words were punctuated by another rough caress that forced her against his body.

Not wanting to resist the taste of her mouth Angelus swooped down and roughly kissed Buffy. A creature that made seduction his primary weapon against the fairer sex, he generally practiced slower strokes when it came to taking a woman. However, with Buffy he found that he could not help but give into the raging passion that overtook him whenever he found himself within her embrace.

Her heart echoed within his ears, filling him with the drum of her life force. He swallowed the small groan of defeat that slipped from Buffy's lips as she wrapped her arms tightly about his neck.

Clenching his eyes shut Angelus kept his hand on her hips, and lifted her against his dark-clad figure. She couldn't be lying-this was too real. Buffy could not be that devious, she could not trick him that completely. Her love was his.

His.

But his fear was his as well…and it was not to be banished so easily.

A shrill horn effectively cut through their passionate clinging as a flash of lights illuminated the sidewalk. Recognizing the significance of the intrusion, he cursed in frustration. "Shit!"

Still holding her tightly, Angelus felt Buffy stiffen in reactionary hesitation and fear at the sight of the police officer slamming the cruiser door.

Silently grumbling about the constant presence of keepers of the law, he idly wondered if Buffy's seemingly never-ending sense of forgiveness would extend to him draining the blood out of the rude intruder. _Probably not._ Meeting her eyes Angelus then smirked and confidently told her to, "Hold on lover."

"Step apart and put your hands-" the officer's words were abruptly cut off as the couple eerily disappeared. Cautiously walking towards the spot where they were last standing, the officer swiftly glanced about the surrounding area and saw absolutely nothing.

How was that possible? Feeling a chill go up her spine, the seasoned officer wondered if the strangeness of the incident only justified what drew her to make the stop in the first place. There was something threatening about the man, and the girl was obviously underage, but what could she do now? Both were gone…if they ever even existed…

"That was fun," Angelus wryly remarked as he quickly landed on a deserted street, before setting Buffy down. They were several miles up the road and only a few miles away from his mistress' meal. It had taken him a minute to run the distance and while he wasn't yet fatigued, he uncomfortably felt the lack of Buffy's blood in his system. Deciding that walking was out of the question now that an officer of the law was interested in who they were, Angelus quickly scanned the street to look for a suitable car to steal.

Shortly finding a small import he tossed out, "Come on."

Quietly following him across the street Buffy was unaware of Angelus' attentions. It was definitely a bit weird to be in his arms at their previous speed. The entire world had flown by in quick burst of cold air, and whining silence. Thank God none but Angelus possessed this speed, for if another vampire was even close to being that fast, how would she ever be able to stake it?

She was lost in her thoughts until he stopped by the dark blue sedan. A frown immediately crossed Buffy's brow when she saw him try the door. Sharply she asked in a hushed whisper, "What are you doing?"

Glancing over his broad shoulder he casually replied, "Stealing a car."

Her voice rose in a high pitch of shock. "What? Oh no, nah uh!" Quickly she bit her lip before scanning the surrounding area, expecting to see several lights come on as a result of her screeching.

"Why not?" Reaching into his pocket Angelus pulled out a set of metal picks.

"Because!" Furtively glancing around Buffy lowered her voice and hotly protested, "We already walked for a bazillion miles! There's no need to steal someone's car." Seeing the objects in his hand her eyes widened. "What is that?"

Expertly fitting the picks into the lock Angelus deftly maneuvered his hand until he was able to hear the inaudible click that signified success.

Before he opened the door Buffy backed away from him. "Oh my god-you carry that kind of stuff around?! You thief! A vampire I already knew, but a thief too? Ugh!"

Opening up the dented and scraped door he slid into the seat and noticed that while the car had an alarm, it hadn't been armed. _Oh well. Your stupidity, my comfort._

Buffy covertly glanced over both shoulders and saw that the street still remained empty. While reassuring, it didn't do much to alleviate what was taking place in front of her. Tensely she whispered, "Let's just go."

Leaning down Angelus half-listened to his mistress' self-righteous protests as he removed a section of heavy plastic, uncovering several wires. Exposing the metal beneath the protective colored sheath, he brought two strands together. After a small shower of sparks lighted the floorboard, the rumble of an engine starting broke the silence of the night.

It was the first time he had hot-wired a car, but he was more than pleased to find that it wasn't difficult, and that the memories proved correct. Looking up a satisfied smirk lifted Angelus' well-shaped mouth as he ordered Buffy to, "Get in," while leaning across to unlock the other door.

Wrapping her arms about her waist she again looked about, more than expecting someone to yell, "Thief!" Slayer or not, Buffy hadn't ever really broken the law. Well, maybe there was a bit of breaking and entering…vandalism…destruction of property-but it had all been on the job!

Other than that she had been clean. At least since she'd arrived in Sunnydale.

"Buff!"

Buffy jumped at the sound of Angelus' voice. Moving her feet forward she really felt guilty for what she was going to be accomplice to. Reluctantly opening up the passenger door she slid in, her feet dislodging several empty fast-food drink cups.

"Remind me to keep my jewelry hidden," she sarcastically murmured.

"The only jewelry I care about lover is on your sweet, little body, so I wouldn't worry about it."

A blush becomingly stained Buffy's cheeks at the reminder of his decadent gift. Even now she could imagine it searing into her flesh, boldly proclaiming her Angelus' property. Gingerly sitting up straight she reached to the side and put her seatbelt on.

Looking up she met Angelus' mildly amused gaze. Mockingly he drawled, "Safety first, eh Slayer?"

"Don't remind me that I'm the Slayer right now-especially since I've become your partner in crime, " she sullenly muttered. Seeing that he was unbuckled Buffy spunkily admonished, "And you shouldn't drive without buckling up first either."

Pulling the car out onto the street Angelus, sans seatbelt, remarked, "Such concern for my welfare! I'm touched." Glancing at her uncomfortable form he laughingly suggested, "Why don't you relax a bit Buff? I'm only stealing someone's car-not their life."

Jerking her head to face him Buffy narrowed her eyes and said in a voice full of steel, "That's not funny."

Coldly smiling Angelus merely stared at the road in front of them. She was still tense but he could feel a difference in her delicious emotions. Despite her fear of what they were doing, she was intrigued. Even now he could smell the adrenaline rushing through her body, and could hear how the excitement was altering the unique pattern of her heart.

His darling liked a bit of the bad.

Angelus always knew she would, and that's another reason why he chose this instead of simply running all the way to the Jade Tiger.

Buffy's soft voice suddenly broke the silence that had lapsed. He could hear the fabric and vinyl creakingly whisper as she shifted in her seat. "How did you know what to do?"

Searching for a particular street sign he casually asked, "What? You mean how'd I know how to steal this?"

A flash of blonde hair caught the corner of his eye as she nodded her head and answered, "Yeah."

Shrugging he replied, "I just knew," as he found the right street.

The curiosity in Buffy's voice rose several notches as she plainly asked, "How?"

Traces of a sadistic smile lifted the corner of Angelus' mouth. "Well, let's just say that Angel had a bit of experience and passed that knowledge onto me."

"Oh," she answered in a small voice as she leaned back into the seat.

Expecting that she would lapse into brooding he was surprised when she then asked, "How come you don't have a car?"

"I do have a car. Several in fact." Cocking a brow Angelus coolly added, "One of which you could've seen the other night-if you had been home."

Defensively she stated, "That's not my fault. Besides, even if I had wanted to tell you, I couldn't."

"Why not?" he evenly asked as he pulled alongside a building.

Seeing they were coming to a stop Buffy lightly replied, "Because last I checked you had no phone, computer, or even two cans and a string."

Putting the car in park the dark vampire turned in his seat and softly suggested, "You could've come by."

"Where? The factory?" she skeptically inquired while curiously looking at their surroundings. She didn't see a restaurant at all, just several dark storefronts.

"You know where lover. You could've come by the penthouse." Reaching out with one finger Angelus traced the soft curve of his mistress' cheek.

"I-I didn't think of that." Every time he touched her in such a way, Buffy could feel her insides easily turn into mush. A spark of anger at the loss of her body's control caused her to turn towards him once more and state, "Besides it's not like you're my boyfriend or anything. I don't need to give you an itinerary of my life."

Angelus didn't miss the spite that came with that little bait of hers. Coldly he intoned, "No, I'm not your boyfriend Slayer. I'm far more than any boyfriend, lover, or husband could EVER be to you."

Opening up his door he arrogantly exited without another word. Buffy stared at the empty seat in confused frustration. His detached words left her with an indelible mark of possession-one that angered as well as irrationally pleased.

Sighing heavily she placed her hand on the handle and pulled. Sliding out of the car Buffy briefly thought about wiping the metal clean before remembering that the police didn't have her prints on record. With another sigh she closed the door and walked away from the object of their crime. She only hoped that whoever owned the car would find news of it quickly.

Seeing Angelus waiting for her she softly asked, "We're just going to leave it here, right?"

His broad shoulders lifted in a shrug as he casually remarked, "It's as good a place as any. Besides, I don't have to ditch it to cover something nasty…" His lips twitched as he observed Buffy's wary and concerned features. "Lighten up Slayer! Where's your sense of humor?"

Reaching him she slowly replied, "I don't know you very well Angelus. I can't tell when you're joking and when you're…not."

An enigmatic look filtered across his ebony eyes before he replied, "Well, it's a good thing that I know you very well Miss Summers-better than you know yourself." In that moment Angelus arrogantly forgot the doubts and misgivings he had had. She belonged to him, and each moment that she spent in his company, was a moment that strengthened the bond of his possession.

Reaching with one arm he placed it on her small shoulders and pulled Buffy close. "Now let's go get you something to eat."

In that moment her belly gave a loud growl. Embarrassed she clenched her stomach muscles tight, as if to prevent another protest. At his laugh she looked up in mortification and mumbled, "I get hungry-it happens!"

Leaning down he seductively drawled, "I'm hungry too Slayer, but I'll wait until you're satiated first."

Buffy's stomach clenched with a bolt of longing so intense that it nearly obliterated all her wariness of this vampire. She yearned to bare her neck to his deadly fangs, foolishly willing to play Russian roulette with her life and her soul. In a dangerously sweet moment she could imagine how it felt to allow this dark lover of hers to gain nourishment from her blood.

Briefly closing her eyes she saw herself stopping, turning to look up into his shadowed face, before sliding her hand around his neck. She could clearly see in her mind's eye the bloodlust darken his already black gaze, and as always, it would never fail to excite her. She would watch with fascination as he shifted into his vampiric face, no longer finding it as ugly as before.

Buffy could imagine the coolness of his hands as he pulled her close, sinfully beguiling with the force with which he made her apart of himself. Deep in imagination she could even feel the brush of his hair against the sensitized skin of her neck, savoring the smell of his shampoo as it teased her nose, before suffering the exquisite delirium of falling into death with him.

Opening her eyes she saw that he was looking down into her face, lips lifted in the familiar smirk, his eyes dancing with glee as if he had traveled along the line of fantasy with her.

Angelus was the intoxicating master of her weaker self, and they both knew it.

Huskily she murmured, "Maybe you'll have to go hungry tonight," bravely teasing him with refusal.

"Oh, somehow I doubt it Slayer," he replied with soft arrogance.

Holding contact with his gaze for a few moments Buffy could no more help her actions than she could stop breathing. Standing up on tiptoe she reached out with her mouth and latched onto the pale exposed flesh of his neck.

She felt rather than heard his surprise. Nuzzling the smooth skin with her lips Buffy gently kissed him before biting down. Her blunt teeth could not do as much damage as his, but even still she managed to pierce his skin. Immediately a low growl rumbled in her ears, exciting her with the promise of danger.

Pulling away she felt a small trickle of blood seep down from the corner of her mouth. Reaching up with her arm she slowly wiped it away with her sleeve, marveling on how it was HER blood that flowed in his body, HER blood that nourished him.

Angelus did not bother to touch the nearly invisible wound, nor did he show signs of anger at being bit. Instead he merely asked, "Why did you do that?"

Buffy's answer was boldly honest, coming from the gut. "I wanted to feel what it's like to be you."

His eyes enigmatically held hers before he queried, "How'd it feel?"

 _It felt good._ And it did. For a brief moment it felt wonderfully good to be the aggressive one, to be the one draining him, to be the one entering his body. But she would not admit to it. How could she? She was the Slayer, not a vampire like him. So all Buffy answered was, "I hope we're close because I'm really hungry."

"We're only a block away, lover."

Nodding her head once she replied, "Good," before striding away.

Angelus laughed in knowing delight. She liked it. The lines between her life and his were becoming even more blurred, their black and white melding into a murky gray. Soon she wouldn't be able to see life without seeing him. Soon she wouldn't be able to escape the view of both sides-not just the one.

Walking behind his mistress he quickly caught up and kept a certain distance between them. Instead he was content with taking in her scent, letting it intoxicate him with a drunkenness that left him excited with what the rest of the night would entail. Dinner first, fucking later. Or perhaps fucking in the midst of dinner…

Despite the lateness of the hour the green, white, and red neon lights brightly announced the location of the _Jade Tiger_. The rest of the street was relatively quiet, yet even still Buffy could hear the dim voices of many people as her hearing instinctively sharpened.

Approaching the crimson and gold doors she felt her mouth begin to water as the delicious aroma of food wafted forth. Her mission of opening the door was halted as Angelus' hand reached the handle first. Somewhat surprised at this show of courtesy she expected him to walk through first, only to feel the gentle pressure of his hand at her back.

Immediately he expertly guided her through, pausing briefly at the hostess pillar, before directing Buffy to the back of the dimly lit restaurant. Finding a darkened corner booth he stopped them both, politely gesturing for her to sit down. Scooting across the squeaky leather seats she settled herself comfortably before taking an opportunity to look around. She was surprised at the fact that there were a decent amount of people quietly dining.

The restaurant was really no different that any of the other Chinese eateries she had been to. Red tablecloths covered all the small tables in the center of the room, while heavily carved and lacquered wood made up the partitions between each booth. Large potted plants randomly held their place in corners, while beautiful Asian paintings hung with honor and dignity on several walls. Music filtered throughout, the sound soothing and fitting to the surroundings.

Her observations were interrupted by the soft voice of a spectacularly native dressed waitress inquiring about their drinks. Before Buffy could answer Angelus ordered for them both, "Tea for me and a Coke for my beautiful lady." A brief bow and the waitress gracefully walked away to fill their requests.

An awkward silence settled over the table. Sitting there somewhat stiffly she wondered on whether to fill in the space with conversation, all the while trying to ignore the spurt of pleasure she felt over his off-handed compliment. With what though? _So…how's the homicidal business going? Fine. That's good. And how is Dru-still crazy? What about Spike? He's still crippled right? That's really good._

A brief smile flitted across her lips at the goofiness of her thoughts.

"Find something amusing, lover?"

Meeting his eyes she demurred, "No, it's nothing."

Reaching out with one finger he rubbed the soft flesh of her hand. "What do you have a taste for?"

The question, innocent enough, brought suggestions to Buffy's mind that were anything but pure. Clearing her throat she skimmed the table for the menus, found them in the middle, and grabbed them both. Handing Angelus his menu she felt the brush of his hand against hers as he murmured, "Thank you Baby." Pulling her hand away with a quick glance towards his face she concentrated on the words in front of her, ever conscience of his presence.

Angelus found her skittishness challenging. It was the constant with them-he seduced, she yielded, she rebounded, he restarted. Unless he kept her beneath him, she would always revert to putting a wall beneath them. It didn't bother him as much though, for after their _tiff_ of the a few nights before, Buffy couldn't put a wall high enough that he couldn't scale.

Her distance gave her conviction, if not courage, so it was up to him to remedy that first. Patting the space next to him Angelus winningly requested, "Come sit closer to me, darling."

Buffy's eyes darted up, fledgling thoughts about Kung Pao Chicken or Green Pepper Steak fleeing. "What?"

A playfully seductive light entered his eyes as he leaned closer. "I'm lonely over here."

She hesitated for a brief moment, unsure and wary of this side of him. Their entire _relationship_ consisted of one way of being and it wasn't like this. This way was almost normal. _Why fight it Buffy?_ The question hauntingly rang in the lonely confines of her mind until she eventually agreed. Holding onto her menu she slowly scooted over until she was sitting right next to him. Immediately he dropped his arm over her shoulder, gently cradling her against his large body.

Looking up at Angelus' handsome profile Buffy felt her breath catch in her throat. He was SO incredibly attractive, and his body was HERS. This vampire was obsessed with her, just as she was with him.

If only things were different…

Placing his hand on hers Angelus opened up the menu and proceeded to murmur against her ear, "Do you like egg rolls?"

Shifting her gaze she attempted to keep the print from going out of focus. His closeness was intoxicating. He was never this close to her unless they were naked…

Nodding her head once she replied, "Umm, yeah, I like egg rolls."

"What about egg-drop soup?"

"Egg-drop soup? Ah, I like wonton." God he was so close! Leaning back against him she relished the bittersweet memories that flitted through her mind, remembering the way it was with Angel. Only this experience was charged with far more sexuality, the hunger sharp with proven need and exquisite want.

"Wonton it is." Running his finger down the menu he noted the sweet scent of Buffy's arousal with pleasure-slitted eyes. He never kept her this close unless he was inside of her body, and Angelus enjoyed this newness. Staring down at her golden crown of hair he imagined the way it would look tonight, spread upon a pillow, or draped around her face as her hips ground down against his. "What about the main course? What would you like?"

Breathing shallowly Buffy drowned in the air around them. Her neck pulsed with primitive hunger while her chest rose quickly with anticipation. She could FEEL the bond tighten its elusive chains about her, binding her with infinite ease to Angelus. Her voice betrayed their steadily growing passion as she answered, "I…ah…I think I want Green Pepper Steak."

"Green Pepper Steak. Good choice." Angelus' loins tightened with lust at the sound of her desire. He could smell the delicious fluids coating her hidden yet pretty lips, while he could almost imagine hearing the beauty of her blood calling to him.

 _Look up at me_ he silently commanded. _Look up at your master._ This Slayer was his, only his and he reveled in the possession of such a wonderfully powerful creature.

Slowly Buffy lifted her head, locking her lovely eyes with his darkly possessive ones. Angelus leisurely leaned closer until his lips barely touched hers. Forcing himself to stay his passion, he gently closed his lips on hers, delicately tracing the outline of her before she opened to him. He did not ravish Buffy's mouth, as was his wont, but instead tenderly explored her, allowing her to set the pace of their kiss.

 _He's never kissed me like this. It's as if I'm someone so beautiful, so cherished._

After several moments Buffy pulled her head back, and leaned it against his shoulder. It was recorded that he could be so charming, so magnetic that all were powerless beneath his charisma. Now she was finding it out firsthand. Breathing in deeply she took in the scent of his cologne, letting it fill her senses. Before any words could be spoken the waitress arrived with their drinks, a small pot of tea complete with a charmingly painted cup for Angelus, and a tall red tumbler filled with Coke for her. Softly he gave their order before turning his attention onto the hot container.

Sitting forward Buffy occupied herself with removing the paper sheath from her straw before plopping it into her drink. Enjoying the cold soda flowing down her throat she wondered if Angelus was really going to drink his tea, or if it was just for show.

He quickly dispelled her imaginings as he took a small sip of the fragrant liquid. Shifting in her seat she was conscious of the fact that Angelus still kept his arm about her. A fire of warmth unfurled its flames within her heart at the continued contact. Trying to act as if nothing was amiss she politely asked, "How's it taste?"

"Good."

"Really?" Even though lightly spoken Buffy could not hide the unconscious note of skepticism.

"I DO like other things beside blood." Gesturing with his gaze he clarified, "Like tea for example."

Curiously she remarked, "But I thought that vampires only could stomach the taste of blood."

"You've seen me drink before Buff."

"Yeah, but that was only because I thought you had to. You know, to keep up with appearances."

Amusement danced in his eyes as he commented, "Ah, but then you thought I probably threw it all up at the first opportunity."

Shrugging she honestly answered, "Well yes." Thoughtfully frowning Buffy absently ran her finger around the rim of her glass while murmuring, "Giles told me that vampires cannot eat regular food, nor could they really stand the taste of any liquid other than blood."

Angelus laughed mockingly at her shockingly ignorant understanding of the creatures she was supposed to hunt. "And I suppose he got that from the vast knowledge of the Watchers, correct?"

Bristling at his derision she shortly said, "Yeah, I guess."

The Brit was smarter than that, so why was he peddling that particular bit of rubbish from the Council? Letting his fingers play with her sleeve Angelus musingly asked, "And you believe everything you're told?"

"Everything Giles tells me."

"Buff, don't you think that it's dangerous to believe everything you're told, regardless of the source?"

Buffy quietly pondered the question, grudgingly seeing that it was a good one. Her mind played with the implications of several answers, knowing that each one would lead her down a different path of thought. Sighing she looked up and met his awaiting expression. This was a question that needed more time to ponder through. So for the moment she had no real answer other than, "I'm the Slayer. Giles is my Watcher. We trust each other."

Angelus arched his brow and merely smiled. "Would that all trust be merited." It was a matter of control, the Watcher's control over the Slayer. And the chain didn't stop there. It went all the way up to the top, the belief being whoever controlled this warrior of decency ruled the world. It was all too true.

Quickly changing the topic he suggested, "Here let me help you with your jacket. It's getting pretty warm in here for you." He knew that the redness of her cheeks had more to do with defensive anger rather than the restaurant's temperature.

Buffy wordlessly undid the fastening on her jacket, feeling him reach around her before sliding it off her body. She felt him shift, the creak of the seat abrasive, as he too removed his leather duster. Placing both coats on the seat of the booth Angelus met her gaze and pleasantly smiled.

Unwillingly Buffy felt her mouth answer in return before wiping her face of all expression. Reading the tightening of his mouth correctly she immediately remembered his words of that terrible night: _Why do you save all of your smiles for him and leave none for me?_

"Is it such a crime to enjoy your time with me Buff?" His words, while softly spoken, could not hide his irritation.

Sighing heavily she answered, "In a matter of speaking it IS a crime Angelus."

The retort was razor sharp and quick as a whiplash. "Why?"

Meeting his opaque gaze she replied, "Because of what you believe in."

A sardonic smirk twisted his lips as Angelus queried, "What I believe in? And just what do you think I believe in Buff?"

"You believe in killing people." Buffy's eyes turned cold as her face settled into an impassive mask. How could she feel any emotion for this creature? What he did was an abomination to all that she stood for.

Angelus' jaw clenched in ill humor as he quietly stated, "I need blood to survive, that doesn't make me a monster."

Her eyes widened with disbelief as she retorted, "You enjoy the hunt! You enjoy the kill! THAT makes you a monster!"

Leaning forward he heatedly whispered, "And you don't? You don't enjoy the thrill of catching your prey, which let me remind you are MY kind!" A note of contempt entered his voice as he snidely asked, "You don't feel disappointment _Miss Summers_ when your tally isn't as high as the night before?"

Not giving her a chance to reply he coldly intoned, "Coming from my side THAT makes you just as much of a monster as me."

Shaking her head Buffy tried to shut out his declarations. Taking a long sip of soda she fought against seeing the other side, but it was too late. He was right, despite suffering beneath the weight of her calling, Buffy did enjoy the hunt. She enjoyed the exhilaration of fighting each night, of knowing that with each vamp she dusted, the more her existence counted. Especially after falling into Angelus trap.

But she also enjoyed hunting them down, and sending them on their way to hell. Just because.

Lifting up the delicate cup Angelus resisted the urge to crush it. It rankled how she saw him as being so much beneath her. As if possessing mortality automatically made one superior to those who did not. Besides, he had been human once too-didn't that count for something?

No, wait. HE had not been human-Angel had been.

Setting his drink down with careful motions Angelus murmured, "You persist on fighting with me, lover. I don't like it."

Sitting her drink down with a decided slam Buffy irritably replied, "And you persist on baiting me. Every time I soften just the tiniest bit towards you, you find a way to make me feel like shit."

"I make you feel like shit?" Humorlessly laughing he believed that she had quite a bit of nerve. "Do you just want to go home then?" All intentions of showing his good side was blown to hell. Buffy refused to just let things go. It was as if the moment she felt any joy with him, she had to find a way to fuck it up.

As with what often happens to individuals, Angelus could not see how he was guilty of the very same crime.

Buffy lifted her chin, ready to spit out an affirmative, when she saw their waitress coming towards them with a cart laden with food. Instead of spiting herself she merely answered, "No."

Seeing the dark-haired waitress he immediately understood her motivation. "I should be insulted," he sullenly replied.

Eagerly awaiting for her food to be arranged she evenly said, "Suit yourself."

Angelus hated how she managed to do this to him once more. In their time together she had humiliated herself for him, bent her will to his, suffered at his whim, and yet just when he knew he had Buffy in the palm of his fist, she managed to throw him completely off balance. Again.

He expected her to leave, he counted on the fact that she would, just so that he could force her to stay, and what happened? She stayed!

What did she want? Angelus had to come upon the personality that would seduce her to his will. Generally that was part of the fun, only this time it was hardly amusing. In a moment of inner honesty he realized that the outcome of this game meant far more to him than any other before.

In that moment Angelus hated himself beyond anything he had ever hated before. It was despicable this weakness he had for her! Buffy Summers could only be seen as a diversion until he tired of her. Then he would send her on her way to the next world, before moving onto fairer pastures. That was the plan-that had always been the plan.

One could not hate so fiercely without destroying the object of one's hatred.

Yet that was becoming harder for him to believe. Why was it changing? How could he change it back?

 _You are NOT going to beat me tonight Slayer._ With that silent vow he politely excused the waitress. With a nod and a respectful bow she left, leaving them both to their meal. Buffy reached for one of the lids when Angelus stopped her. Forcing himself to graciously serve his mistress he felt petty satisfaction at her expression of surprise. Good. Let her be thrown off balance as well.

"I can do it-"

With a heated glance he murmured, "Allow me, lover." Placing a bowl of soup and an egg roll in front of her, he then lifted her plate as he gracefully arranged a tempting array of steak, vegetables, and rice. Once ready he courteously said, "Your meal my sweet."

Picking up her spoon Buffy paused before asking, "Umm, are you going to, ah, eat? Can you even eat?"

"If necessary, it's just not needed." Reaching out he lifted up a pepper and popped it into his mouth. Seeing her bemused expression Angelus laughed shortly. "You look so shocked."

Shaking her head she began sipping her soup. It was beyond weird to see him consume anything that even remotely resembled human food. Turning her attention back to Angelus she saw him working on a bowl of spicy soup. "If you can eat, why did you fake my Mom out at dinner?"

A devilish gleam sparkled in his eyes as he answered, "Because I felt like it." _And to show you how easy it is to control your world, including your mother._

"Oh." Lifting her spoon again Buffy abruptly paused with it halfway to her mouth. "Or was it because of the garlic?" Seeing him arch his brow she pounced, "It was, wasn't it?"

"Ah, Buff, Buff, Buff. You have it wrong." Reading the skeptical expression on her pretty face he shared in a conspiratorial whisper, "I can eat garlic. In fact I rather like it."

Tilting her head in a charming fashion she asked, "Then how come garlic works as a vamp-repellent?"

Angelus took a few sips of his soup before querying, "Has it ever worked on me?"

"Well, no, but it DOES work!"

"To fledglings, not seasoned immortals like myself." Placing his spoon down he lifted a starched green napkin and wiped his mouth. Turning to Buffy he then explained, "A fledgling, among other things, is extremely sensitive to strong odors and tastes. It's overwhelming and therefore avoided until a tolerance is built."

A slight frown creased Buffy's brow as she pondered this bit of information. Hmm. _I wonder if Giles has any garlic essence on hand? If he doesn't, where can I get some?_ If she doused her opponent with it, she could then take advantage, therefore staking much faster than before.

"Already contemplating on how to use their weakness, lover?"

Feeling a flush creep into her face Buffy chewed her lip for a moment before emphatically saying, "It's my job, it's what I do."

"But when I use your species weaknesses against you, that makes me a very bad man."

Quickly she denied with, "It's not the same."

"Says who? You and your kind?"

Not liking how he was easily sowing controversial ideas she irritably asked, "Where's all this _you and your kind_ coming from? Last time I checked Angelus you were just as quick to dust a minion as I."

"And last time I checked, humans were just as quick to put a bullet, knife, or poison into one another."

Spreading her hands across the table Buffy tightly asked, "Okay. What do you propose I do? Let you and your clan kill people whenever you feel like it?"

"That's not what I'm saying."

"Then what are you saying?"

"You hold what I am against me. That's hardly fair," he silkily announced.

"And you hold what I am against ME."

"Really? How do you figure?" Leaning forward he coldly asked, "Do I EVER bring up the fact that you regularly dust members of my clan?"

The answer was no and they both knew it. "You still hold my calling against me."

A cruel smile twisted his lips as Angelus stated, "That's not what I hold against you."

"Then what?"

 _I couldn't even begin to tell you in one sitting, darling. I hold much against you. The fact that you were Angel's is a start. The fact that he took my place first is another. The fact that you would never believe it if I told you that his thoughts of you were not that far from mine. The fact that you occupy so much of my moments is yet another sin that I hold against you, darling. That and so much more._

"Why can't you answer me?" Her hands lay in her lap, clenched over each other.

Piercing his mistress with a direct gaze Angelus finally spoke. "Do you love me?"

A flash of pain flitted across her face. With quiet dignity she answered, "Yes," obviously steeling herself against one of his casually cruel insults.

"If you love me, why do you deny yourself joy with me?"

Meeting his gaze with a direct one of her own Buffy stated, "My love does not blind me Angelus. I know that for you it's a weapon to use against me. I may be stupid enough to love you, but I'm not stupid enough to just lay down and let you tread all over me without some kind of fight."

"I only use weapons if needed Buffy." The assertion was softly spoken in a tone that was bitterly familiar of Angel. Reaching out with one hand Angelus felt under the table until he found her lap. Closing it around both of her small fists he wearily stated, "I am tired of forever seeing you jump around me. I yearn to see you smile, to hear you laugh."

Angelus felt an unfamiliar tightening in his gut at hearing his own words. _Bullshit! Watch yourself boy. You just want variety. You want to give her joy simply so you can take it away at your own whim, that's all._

Buffy felt embarrassment as her eyes filled with foolish tears. If she could have the past back again, if she could experience the gentleness of Angel along with the intoxicating carnality of Angelus... If she could have them both she would be happy, she knew she would.

Briefly she fought at exposing herself before giving in. Sincerity rang through each softly spoken word as Buffy confessed, "I love you Angelus. I love you in a way that frightens me. Because I love you I want to be happy with you, but…"

Reaching out with one finger Angelus stopped her from finishing. "All I ask from you darling is that you stop being the Slayer when you're with me."

Wearily she denied him. "I can't. It's who I am."

Just as firmly he declared, "And I am who I am."

Staring into his ebony gaze for several seconds Buffy sadly stated, "Then it's stalemate."

"Not necessarily. When you come to me, you leave the world outside."

"And you?"

"It's never been an issue Buff."

Many minutes passed in silence as Buffy contemplated Angelus' proposition. Perhaps it was not his intention but she could not help but feel as if he were offering her something more…permanent. This was hardly the arrogant vampire who had heartlessly avowed, _We'll fuck until I don't want you anymore._

What if this was his way of wanting more?

Angelus was capable of passion so why not love? Despite her opinion of Spike and Druscilla, Buffy could not deny that they loved each other fiercely. If there was any chance of having her love returned she had to know.

Taking a deep breath Buffy simply asked, "Why won't you let me go?"

A burst of crimson rage flared in Angelus' mind. She was throwing his offer of peace back in his face! After trying to find some sort of truce, some way of tolerating each other beyond sex, all she could think of was leaving him? In the coldest tone of voice he had ever spoken to her he frostily said in return, "You bitch."

Buffy's head flew back as she realized how he had taken her question. "That's not what I meant-"

"Save it Baby." Furiously reaching across her body he grabbed his coat, rooted in the pocket, and impatiently pulled out his wallet. Throwing a couple of bills on the table he stood up and impersonally said, "Enjoy your meal."

Standing up as well Buffy did not care if she was drawing attention from the patrons. "Angelus please! That's not what I meant!"

Without responding he slipped on his coat and strode towards the exit. Buffy watched as he disappeared from sight, her appetite fleeing as rapidly as he had. If it had been Angel she would have sworn that his feelings were hurt, but this was Angelus-he had no vulnerable emotions.

Deflated Buffy turned towards the table, seeing how everything had been arranged. Angelus had been as much a gentleman tonight as she had ever seen him be. Despite a few ill-timed comments and flare-ups, he had been as gentle with her as Angel had. And even then, Angel had never served her food. In fact, they rarely met during meals and drinks. Usually it had only been tea.

 _I DO like other things beside blood. Like tea for example._

Closing her eyes briefly Buffy could not help but think of this similarity between the two. If they shared this thing in common, couldn't there be others?

He had been courteous with her tonight, and although he had not been like Angel, he had been a better companion than ever before. Feeling the beautiful sapphires accusingly burn into her skin Buffy felt torn between hope and cynicism. He had even given her a gift. Different than Angel's simple ring of silver, but still it had been meant for her.

Confused she blindly looked around the restaurant, only to see few faces even glancing in her direction. If she walked away now, perhaps it would be over. Perhaps she could put this behind her and solely concentrate and train for her battle with Acrymydion. Perhaps Angelus would shift back into the shadows of nemesis and they would keep their affair secret, as if it had never been.

An agonizing lancing of her heart rebelled against the contemplation. Maybe she would find a way to cheat Death again, but that was a risky gamble. She had already done it twice. Regardless of hope what was certain was that she would die.

Did she want to spend the next weeks alone, cut off from the world, from all that made her feel alive?

"Is everything alright Miss?"

Taking a deep breath Buffy turned to the waitress and softly replied, "I hope it will be." Grabbing her coat she picked up the bills and placed them into the woman's hands. "Will this cover the check?"

Quickly looking down she rapidly answered, "Yes but I need to get your change-"

"Keep it!" Running out of the restaurant Buffy stopped outside hoping to see Angelus. He wasn't there.

"Angelus!" She didn't care how late the time was, or if she was even disturbing anybody. All she cared about was finding her lover.

Scanning the road she instinctually reached out with her senses, desperately trying to find some inkling of where he could have gone.

"I'm sorry." Although whispered she hoped that somehow he would hear it and come back to her. She stood there uncertain for a minute but instead of being greeted by a smirk, the wind was her only companion.

It was late and the sun would be rising in about three hours. Wherever he went couldn't have been that far, but the city was big and Buffy didn't have the slightest clue as to where to begin.

The car. What if he had went back to the stolen car so he wouldn't have to walk or find a cab? Taking a running step Buffy rapidly moved faster and faster until her movements were nothing more than a blur of shadows. She had never run so fast and while it was wondrous, she was too focused on finding Angelus to appreciate this new facet.

Within a couple of seconds Buffy was on the street where they had left the car. Coming to a stop she saw the darkness that was Angelus. As she was going to speak she saw him stiffen, obviously realizing her presence. Glancing over his broad shoulder his handsome face remained as coldly infuriated as she had ever seen it. She noticed that his hand was on the door handle of the closed car door, but he had yet to open it.

Taking a deep breath Buffy closed the distance between them before stopping a few inches away. "That's not what I meant."

Angelus immediately growled in warning, "I detest lying, especially coming from you."

Her voice remained steady, attesting to the truth of her next words. "I'm not lying."

Leaning back against the car door Angelus insolently crossed his arms over his chest while sneering, "Didn't I leave enough to cover the bill sweetie?"

Buffy stepped closer while solemnly asking, "Do you really believe that I'd come after you if that was true?"

Peering down his nose he questioned, "Why did you bother?"

Lifting her head Buffy quietly stated, "That's not what I meant."

"Hmm, that's not what you meant." His arm suddenly whipped out, cruelly grabbing Buffy by the arm and hauled her against his chest. Leaning down he hatefully bit out, "Then just what the hell DID you mean? In spite of your ignorance concerning vampires, do not make the mistake of carrying this misconception in your pretty, little head: I am NOT a stupid beast. So don't insult me by assuming that I am."

"I know that you're not. If you were, I wouldn't be in this situation to begin with."

Understanding exactly what she meant Angelus smirked while narrowing his eyes. "Oh poor Slayer! Poor little Slayer who had to become the fuck toy of her worst enemy in order to save her friends! She's such a heroine to lay down with the most vicious vampire to walk the Earth."

Buffy mutely stood there, angry tears filling her eyes as she sought to find a way to shut out his slashing words.

Seeing her crystalline tears Angelus felt only a tiny measure of satisfaction. However, his feeling of betrayal cut too deep. The memories rose to suffocate him with feelings that belonged to another time, another man. Flashes of Fiona and Michael cut into his mind, taking him to a time where Angel had felt helpless and stupid.

The flashes expanded to reveal a long line of women who had sought to play with his emotions, seeking to use his weaknesses against him. They had captured his mind, indulged his obsession, and in end they too had been as faithless as the original. The only ones who had not betrayed him were Darla and Druscilla. And now Darla was gone and Dru had lost her appeal over a century before.

But at least she had loyalty and knew better than to take advantage of his seldom shown weakness. While this one, this little whore despised and rebuffed him at every turn. He had been a fool to try to follow his feelings of uncertainty and make a different start for them.

He would not do so again.

Mockingly looking down into her tormented face Angelus hotly inquired, "Their lives must be in danger if you sought me out. Refresh my memory darling-just what threat did I give out before I left? I've had so much on my mind lately, you know with mass-destruction, murder, and mayhem, that it just must've slipped my mind!"

"Stop it!" Pulling her arm away Buffy tightly yelled, "I only said it because I wanted to know if there could be-" Abruptly she stopped and swallowed several times. Why did he always think the worst of her? She loved him, why couldn't he understand and accept that?

"Be what?"

"Be something more!" Angrily wiping her eyes she felt her throat close up as a mixture of pain, embarrassment, and confusion overtook her. She was trying to be open with him, but it was so hard. It was humiliating to expose her feelings like this, especially to a vampire that would his weapons against her without rhyme or reason.

"Be something more? How can there ever be something more Buff? After all, you're the Slayer and I'm just a vamp, isn't that the right of it? I'm just a nasty vampire that you have to endure between your pure thighs, and given the chance you'd rather put a stake in my heart that keep me in yours."

Holding her hands out in unconscious supplication Buffy declared, "Goddamn it! You know I love you! What more can you want from me?"

Angelus' answer was brutal in its honesty. "Total acceptance! Total acceptance as your lover and master!"

Drawing back she whispered, "Master?" The word in itself was horrifying, but the truth was that he had been her master the moment she had seen him in Angel's apartment. If having this creature occupy her every thought, control the level of joy she experienced, and fulfill her cravings so thoroughly qualified him as Master-then she was already a slave.

Buffy was bonded as a slave to Passion, and Angelus was the physical form of Passion.

"That's right Buff: Master. That's what I desire to be to you."

Despite her humiliating need for him, despite the fact that it had SHE who sought him out, Buffy felt the spark of her spirit flame to fight. "I'm not a piece of property."

A look of disgust twisted his face. "If that's the only way you can see it, then there's nothing left to say. I release you from your obligation to me."

Her slender brows drew sharply together as she asked, "What do you mean?"

Coldly clarifying he said, "The deal is off. Your precious little humans are no longer hostages to your good behavior. If they die by my hand it will be because they sought me. Nor will I order their executions. You and I are now as before-enemies."

He waited a moment, as if awaiting her answer. All she murmured, "Haven't we always been?"

An unreadable expression crossed his face before a smirk lifted his lips and blankness settled over his eyes. Opening up the car door he quickly slipped inside before closing it with a slam. Numbly Buffy watched as he started the car before it squealed away.

He released her. She was given her freedom and there were no consequences to lay in wait of. Somehow Buffy knew that Angelus meant what he said. He would not slaughter them. In a matter of speaking they were returning to status quo.

 _It's what I should want but that's not what I want. So why can't I ever just come out and tell him? Still, it's not like I really matter to him, other than his pride._ A haunting sadness filled her eyes as an excruciating pain settled in her heart.

The night had begun with Angelus seeking her, courting her in his way, and now they ended with him leaving her. _He would have left you, but I'm_ _ **not**_ _like him._

Liar!

Forcing the pain deep inside Buffy decided that there was nothing to do except find her way home. Once she got to her dad's house then she could let all the pain inside of her escape, but not now. _If I start crying here, I know I won't be able to stop._

Observing the desolated road she didn't see any telephone booths. Hunching her shoulders against the cold night air she decided to walk back to the _Jade Tiger_ and borrow the phone to call a cab.

She could've ran back and made it in a couple of seconds, but she didn't want to. It would only take a few minutes, and they were ones that she desperately needed to find composure.

As she started walking Buffy felt the beautiful chains slide against her waist and thigh, reminding her of what she had just lost. Unwillingly a thought burned itself against her mind, causing unwanted tears to spill from her eyes. _I've lost them both, Angel and Angelus. They're both gone and it's my fault. With one I wanted too much and the other I gave too little._

In that moment Buffy couldn't know which was which. All she knew was that her heart was breaking all over again.

Suddenly she felt a tremor of unease slide up her spine, effectively slicing through her melancholy thoughts. Abruptly stopping she felt her muscles tense in defense as her eyes quickly scanned the darkness. Immediately five hooded figures emerged from the shadows, surrounding Buffy. Easing into stance she instinctually switched into a battle mentality, ready and willing to fight them all.

In unison all five pushed the black hoods away from their heads, revealing horned and scaly green faces. Three crimson eyes blazed in the center of their foreheads, while they opened their mouths to reveal layers of razor-sharp teeth. Buffy's nose wrinkled in revulsion as she asked, "How do you pull that look off in, of all places, L.A.?"

None of the demons moved, or acknowledged her insult; instead they merely stood in position. From nowhere a high-pitched, whizzing sound alerted Buffy to turn around before she felt a sharp prick in her neck. Her hand flew up and encountered a tiny protrusion. Pulling it out she winced as she saw the outline of a barbed needle for a split-second before it disappeared, apparently dissolving into her hand.

Her wary eyes flew to the demons as their robes instantly slid off to reveal heavily muscled bodies, an assortment of knives, and vicious-looking axes. As her blood began pumping Buffy could feel an insidious weakness possess her body. It was obvious that she was drugged.

Forcing herself to fight against the weakness Buffy decided to go on the offense. Flinging her body towards the nearest demon she landed several kicks to the chest and one to the head before she heard the rest closing in on her. Vaulting over him she used the demon as a shield before taking one of the wicked daggers from his belt. Pulling the head down she reached around him and sliced deeply into his throat before pushing him towards the others.

The curved blade wouldn't serve for much against the long reach of those axes, but close quarter combat was her strength. Watching the ranks continue to tighten against her Buffy wished she had just chosen to run to the _Jade Tiger_ instead. Or better yet-had just not driven Angelus away. _Suck it up Buffy and do what you do best-fight._

Angelus' hands tightened on the wheel as the maddening fury pumped through his veins. Her love for him was obviously fickle and short-lived. Given the chance Buffy had chosen to keep him as an enemy, instead of a lover. Clenching his fists he felt the plastic and metal begin to give way. Loosening his grip Angelus refused to acknowledge the feelings that resembled the memory he had of pain. No, he was NOT feeling pain at this moment.

Only rage-clear, cleansing rage.

Why would she do it? After all the centuries he had spent traveling this world Angelus had never suffered such a rejection. In truth, he had never presented himself to possible dismissal. Yes he had been rejected before, but not like this. Buffy. The ridiculousness of her name should have made him at least feel better, but it did not.

Was she dancing with joy at finally being rid of him? Was she even at this moment contemplating better-dealing him?

Slamming on the breaks Angelus felt the world turn into a vision of obsessive hate. He had taken on the stance that Buffy's fall would be of her own choice, her own will. Well FUCK that!

Pressing the gas pedal down while simultaneously turning the wheel Angelus drove as fast as the car could handle. Zooming down the deserted streets he did not care that he had as much as given her an oath of release. In that moment Angelus' honor meant about as much to him as fairness did-none.

She wouldn't have gotten far, for in her mind there was no need because she was free.

 _Cherish these moments darling, cherish them as you would gold, because I'm back lover and I will not make this mistake again._

Quickly closing the distance Angelus' vision sharpened as the sounds of battle assaulted his ears. _What the Hell?_ A thunderous scowl marred his forehead as he leaned forward over the wheel. The rest of the world disappeared as he could see Buffy desperately fighting against five Ogziwarxs. In a split-second he noticed that her movements were not the usual, instead they were slowed and growing clumsier.

It was obvious that she was going to lose although she was still fighting like Hell. The problem was that Buffy had never battled against one, and he knew that she didn't know how to kill Ogziwarxs.

A growl of maddened rage tore from his throat as Angelus immediately shifted, his teeth already anticipating tearing into the flesh of his enemies. Launching himself from the car he landed in a solid crouch before taking off a full speed. The discarded car jumped the sidewalk and crashed into the side of a brick building, but he did not notice nor would he have cared. The vampire's attention was focused solely on reaching and destroying the creatures that dared attack his mistress.

Buffy felt her vision blur as her body slackened. She had already buried two axes deep into the chest of one demon, but neither it nor the one whose throat she had slitted had died. Instead they just kept coming, wearing her down, but not going for the killing blow. Why?

Suddenly she felt someone else. Looking across the distance of night she saw Angelus, his body a mere blur. Joy blossomed in her heart, before she had to refocus her attention on the demons in front of her. It was in that one moment that the Ogziwarx lifted his ax. Before Buffy could command her drugged muscles to move, the demon viciously swung.

Although she managed to jump back it was too late. With an agonized scream Buffy fell into the ground.

Angelus reached them just as Buffy was struck. Hearing the sound of her pain echo in his ears he lost the tenuous grip of all control and reason. With madness pumping through his body Angelus savagely ripped the arm of one Ogziwarx, before digging his fingers into the crimson eyes. With an unearthly howl the demon disappeared into the night. Angelus registered the death with ruthless inventory and was already taking on the other four.

Buffy could hear the bloody battle rage above her but all she could do was bite into her lips to keep from giving into the need to scream. She had never suffered pain this intense, this horrific. She didn't have to raise her hands to her chest to know that it was a bloody mass of torn skin, tissue, and bone.

Tears streamed down her face as the pain threatened to rob her of sanity. _**Oh God, oh God, oh GOD!**_

With a guttural snarl Angelus hatefully watched the last demon disappear, satisfied with their deaths but only wishing he could have inflicted pain on them longer. A strangled groan snared his attention as he saw Buffy sprawled on the asphalt.

Stalking over to her he forced the destructive rage to recede. Crouching down he quickly observed her terrible wound. The scent of her blood was heavy, and so was the foreign substance within it. Her breastbone had been completely split open, revealing the organs beneath.

A blow of this magnitude should have killed her.

Coldness wrapped its icy claws around his gut. What if he hadn't come back? Would she be dead already?

 _Fuck!_ Coaching his voice to softness he murmured, "Listen to me Baby, listen to my voice."

Her pain-crazed eyes opened as she fought to drive the blackness away. "Come…to…finish…the…job?"

A tiny measure of respect raced through his mind as he heard the mutinous tone of her voice. "Think I'd tell you?"

A rusty laugh passed her lips before a scowl of pain tightened her mouth. Angelus reached out and cupped her cheek, seeing the wariness in her gaze before hopeful trust won over. Moving her head ever so slightly Buffy took comfort from his hand, even in all of this, enjoying the way his cool flesh felt against hers. Trying to take a deep breath she abruptly stopped, her tiny body wracked in spasms of agonizing pain. Without shame or thought Buffy brokenly admitted, "It hurts Angelus…it hurts so bad!"

"I know it does Baby, I know." Peering into her chest he could see her body trying to heal itself, but it was doing it at a dangerously slow rate. Already he could see her skin grow paler, and the blood was now longer rushing out with the force of a flood, but merely oozing.

If he didn't fix this she would die.

Brushing the hair back from her bloodless face Angelus briefly thought of letting her die. Hadn't he wanted this for her from the very start? Didn't he fantasize of seeing her life's blood drain away, leaving her as a gift to Death?

Now the reality was in front of him and Angelus despised it. The Slayer was dying, painfully if her muted cries were any indication, and it filled him with darkness.

She needed blood, plenty of it to weaken the drugs in her system. _I could bring her over._ Perhaps he should make her into a vampire, bringing her into his fold, therefore keeping an eternal claim on her. Touching her hand Angelus silently recoiled at the feeling of her cold flesh.

No, if she was going to be saved it would be as a human.

Leaning close to her face Angelus steadily said, "Buffy, listen to me. We have to get blood into you."

"Hospital...", she soundlessly croaked.

Shaking his head he replied, "No, there'd be too many questions." Pulling his sleeves up Angelus explained while readying his wrist, "We have to move you but you need more strength first." Slicing his wrist open he waited until a few rivulets of blood appeared. Sliding an arm beneath her head he forced the darkness away as she pitifully yelled in agony before gritting her teeth.

Holding his wrist in front of her mouth Angelus instructed Buffy to, "Drink."

Blinking her eyes several times she finally focused on the sight of his wrist. "No," she mumbled while weakly turning her head away.

"Buffy! We've done this before, remember? I'm not turning you, I'm just giving enough to fight the poison in your blood."

"I can't turn…I don't want to…I'd rather die…"

Clenching his jaw Angelus tried to ignore the fact that the Slayer would rather bleed and/or suffocate to death before becoming like him. Ruthlessly he lifted her head back to his wrist, ignoring her strangled cry of pain, and pressed his bleeding wrist against her lips.

Pumping his hand several times he felt the blood course downwards, almost as if the veins were alive. Her lips stayed stubbornly closed until Angelus coldly whispered against her ear, "Buffy if you don't drink you will die. If you die, I swear to all that you hold holy I will butcher those you love in Sunnydale. I will then hunt down, and slaughter every living member of not only your family, but theirs as well. Now DRINK!"

A few moments passed before he felt her cold lips open. Soon the weak pressure of her mouth grew stronger and stronger. Glancing down at the cavity of her chest he could see the muscles knitting themselves while the bones lengthened.

Pulling his wrist away Angelus looked down and saw tears glistening on her face. Despite the agony of her wound she hadn't cried-only when she drank from him. Not liking the way that made him feel, Angelus focused his attention on the situation. Leaning down he gently kissed her mouth before saying, "We need to move you."

Buffy hoarsely coughed, her eyes clenching in pain, before nodding. He could see her steeling herself for the brutal sensations, just as she attempted to rise on her own. Keeping his arm around her shaking body Angelus kept as much of her weight on him, hoping to lessen the pain.

Although it helped she could barely keep from passing out, the agony was that intense. Clutching on his shoulders Buffy shallowly breathed, unable to take any deep breaths. She felt cold, nauseous, tired, sleepy, and crazed all at once.

"Buffy?"

Shifting her glazed eyes she saw Angelus' face. "What?"

Softly he declared, "I'm going to carry you."

A spurt of pride made Buffy stop him from bending down. Placing her hand on his chest she weakly announced, "No, I can walk."

His brows drew together in a scowl as he growled, "Don't be stupid! I'm going to carry you." Angelus bent down and carefully picked Buffy up, knowing that despite his best intentions it still hurt like Hell.

Glancing down into her drawn face he saw a fresh flow of tears stream down her face. Before he could gruffly apologize Buffy sobbed, "You're always yelling at me! I can't help being who I am-and I'm not stupid!"

Confusion crossed his face. She was crying because he yelled at her? "I'm a vampire, a male vampire, it's what I do."

"And I'm 17-it's what I do!"

Looking down into her pale face Angelus definitely felt bewilderment. Perhaps it was because she was half-mad with pain and his yelling made her sensitive. Brushing a kiss across her forehead Angelus murmured, "You were and are being stupid right now darling. So stop arguing with me and let's get you healed."

Without waiting for Buffy's response he debated on whether to just walk back the one block, therefore keeping her still, or run back and jostling her for a less than a second. Speed won. Carefully holding her against him Angelus let his legs fly and they were immediately in front of the _Jade Tiger_.

Reaching out with one hand he pulled the door open and strode inside. The hostess immediately saw them and came out to take them upstairs before any patrons noticed their presence. Quickly following the long-haired woman through a maze of corridors Angelus hoped to have Buffy out in less than an hour.

The hostess finally stopped by a darkened room and gestured for Angelus to step inside. Instinctually he scanned it, searching for any would-be attackers. Having the Slayer this weak would eventually bring out challengers, if it hadn't already, and he would rather spend the rest of the night cuddled in bed with Buffy, rather than destroying all manners of demons.

The room was clean, as were any vents. Bringing her in Angelus gently laid Buffy on the small couch before turning around and saying, "She's lost a lot of blood and needs a transfusion. Inform the Master that Angelus will see him repaid for his assistance and discretion."

The woman respectfully nodded before scurrying away. Turning towards Buffy he squelched the urge to sit by her bedside. The room was probably equipped with cameras and to follow the impulse would make him appear weak. So instead he chose to pace, appearing impatient versus worried.

Only a minute passed before a knock sounded at the closed door. Pausing in the middle of the room Angelus ordered, "Come in." The hostess reappeared and announced, "The Master instructed me to tell you that what you request will be supplied shortly."

He nodded briefly and replied, "Her blood type will support O positive."

"Yes sir. If I may be excused?" Seeing Angelus solemnly nod his head the woman quietly closed the door, presumably in search of Buffy's transfusion.

Turning around Angelus saw Buffy quietly watching him. Coming closer to her he quietly asked, "How do you feel?"

Her lips twisted into a weak smile as she replied, "Considering this hole in my chest, I guess okay." Quiet for a moment Buffy softly asked, "Angelus?"

"Hmm?" His attention was divided between her and the movements within the building. While he felt rather sure that there was loyalty within, Angelus wasn't a demon who completely trusted-despite a warm welcome.

"Why did you, I mean-"

Turning his head he abruptly silenced Buffy with, "Not now."

Her eyes turned into liquid hurt before she truly looked at his expression. Without words he communicated the possible danger of careless words. She slowly blinked, answering him that she understood. Looking up at the ceiling she intently scanned it, searching for a reflection that would betray an electronic eye.

A knock sounded at the door again, alerting them to the hostess. Angelus bade her to enter, intently watching every facet of the woman's smooth expression. She brought with her the accoutrements of transfusion, approaching Buffy's side with quick steps. Setting up her equipment she took in the ugly wound with barely a lift of a brow. Before she could touch Buffy's arm, Angelus seized her wrist.

Buffy's eyes flew up, confused at his actions.

The hostess betrayed no fear, other than the sound of her heartbeat rising in slight acceleration. Lifting the hand to his face Angelus inhaled, seeking to discover the trace of any toxin that would prematurely end his mistress' life. Finding nothing he then took a knife seemingly out of nowhere.

"Angelus!" Buffy felt the room swirl as she forced her muscles to obey. She didn't know what was happening, but she couldn't allow this.

"Darling, lay back. We don't want you hurting your lungs, now do we?" Angelus' voice was smooth, pleasant, and slightly mocking as always. A sweat broke out on Buffy's forehead from the strain of trying to sit up. Finally she fell back, not out of obedience, but weakness.

Turning his attention to the hostess he murmured, "Let's just make sure your not carrying anything that might hurt my darling." With a quick motion he deftly slit the fabric of the brilliantly colored sleeve, and again found nothing.

"I'll just check the other one for good measure." Repeating his movements of before Angelus once more found nothing. Releasing the woman he then picked up a bag of blood, sniffing it for impurities of any kind. There were none.

With a gallant wave of his hand he then instructed the hostess to proceed. It went without mentioning that he would be watching her very, very closely.

Buffy felt small, cool hands cut away at her jacket sleeve. Briefly she silently groaned, _Oh man, that was one of my favorites._ Forcing her eyes to stay open she carefully watched as the transfusion began. Slowly she felt strength return to her body, her breaths no longer stabbing with fury.

Intently taking in the hostess, Buffy, and the room Angelus did not recognize the tenseness that set upon him. The Slayer's life rested in the hands of another, and this did not suit him at all. What if she did not survive, despite all his efforts? He took cold comfort in the fact that she had been talking, and was able to move, albeit slowly.

Slayer's healing abilities were amazing, and with their bond, it had become phenomenal, but even so Buffy was not immune to death. And to complicate matters she had been drugged.

Angelus' thoughts discarded one theory after another as he tried to put the pieces together. Why would she have been drugged, and who would've sent Ogziwarxs? Those particular types of demons were assassins, drawing on sheer intimidation and strength of numbers to eliminate their target. She hadn't turned 18 yet, so that put the Council out; L.A. was filled with enemies for both of them, but still to strike at his mistress was to strike out at him-no creature was that bold.

It was not a statement of arrogance, but truth.

Angelus did not like anomalies-he WOULD discover whose dirty hand was behind this.

His keen gaze studied Buffy's wound, watching it begin to heal faster and faster as she received more blood. Finally the transfusion stopped just as the skin knitted itself, a vivid red line showing where the split had occurred, until it too faded away.

The hostess gathered her equipment, offered a respectful bow to Buffy before leaving her side. Buffy called out her thanks and sat up, not really paying attention to what was being said to Angelus. She halfway expected to experience gut-churning pain again, but there was nothing more than a twinge. Peering down she examined her torn shirt and sports bra, again shocked at what had happened.

All evidence of drugs appeared to be out of her system, thanks to the infusion of new blood and apparently her body's healing chemistry. Still, who would've gone out of their way to shoot her with some kind of drug? If this was going to be a new method of battle, not only was it dirty, but it stunk!

A warm cloth suddenly touched her chest, gently washing away the traces of blood, bone, and flesh. Looking up Buffy studied Angelus' impassive profile, and felt a swelling of love for him. He had come back, and not only had he come back, but he had saved her.

Her small hand reached out and lovingly stroked his cool cheek, immediately drawing his fierce black gaze towards her. "Thank you."

He briefly paused in his task, acknowledging her words with the stillness of his hand, before continuing. Removing the cloth from her he reached about and squeezed the excess in one bowl before dipping it into another. They both sat there in silence until Buffy was as clean as she was going to be without a shower.

Laying the cloth in the clean bowl of water Angelus stood up and asked, "Ready to go lover?"

Quickly standing up Buffy walked towards the door before being stopped by Angelus saying, "Not like that you don't."

Halfway turning to him she opened her mouth to refute him before catching sight of her naked breasts. Crossing her arms over her chest she wryly smiled before weakly saying, "Oh."

"Oh is right. Stay here." Angelus exited the room leaving Buffy by herself. She let out a long sigh and felt the urge to just leave. Maybe from now on she should carry a pair of backup clothes, just in case a demon buries an axe in her chest again.

He was back within a few moments, a red top in his hand. Tossing it to her he said, "Put this on."

Catching it with one hand Buffy shed her mangled clothes and slipped the shirt over her head. With a saucy twirl she haughtily asked, "Is this more pleasing?"

A smirk lifted one corner of his mouth as Angelus replied, "What will be more pleasing is when you're naked and in my bed-but for now it will do."

Grabbing her hand Angelus led them out of the room, warily looking up and down the corridor. It was empty. With a surety that hinted at practice he easily traveled the maze of hallways until they reached the staircase that led down to the restaurant. Pausing at the top he released Buffy's hand and gave her a look over. The shirt, while it fit fine, was short-sleeved and wouldn't do anything to keep out the cold.

Shrugging out of his coat he placed it over her small shoulders. "Let's go." Striding down the steps he heard the slither of leather as it trailed over each step. Business was still brisk despite the late hour, yet no one noticed their presence when they reached the main floor. With a nod towards the hostess Angelus made his way to the door, hearing Buffy still behind him.

Glancing at the hostess Buffy took in her new dress, remembering how Angelus had ruined the other one. Catching her eye she stopped and gave a bow, deep with thanks and appreciation. Clutching Angelus' coat tighter she then turned towards the door where he was waiting.

Holding the door open he placed his hand on the small of her back and led her outside to an awaiting car. Pausing Buffy looked him and softly asked, "Is that for us?"

Without looking down at her Angelus shortly answered, "Yes."

"Do you think it's safe?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, you didn't seem to trust them too much inside."

"No, I trusted them as much as I could."

Buffy's brow lifted in questioning skepticism. Opening the passenger door Angelus commented, "If I didn't trust them I wouldn't have brought you here." Waiting until she was settled comfortably in the leather seat he propped one hand on the roof and leaned in. "I would've also taken some hostages, held them till you were healed, killed them, and then torched the place afterwards."

Closing the door on Buffy's expression of horror and disgust Angelus didn't examine on why he had purposely admitted to a truth that he knew would shock her. Coming around the car he opened up the driver's door and slid in, enjoying the feel of the car. Without glancing at his watch he knew that sunrise was only under two hours away.

He had better get them to his room before then.

Starting up the car he pulled away from the _Jade Tiger_ and sped towards his hotel. Glancing over he saw that Buffy had her eyes closed, her shoulders slowly relaxing as the warmth of the car took over. Focusing back on the road he smiled in grim satisfaction. His mistress was safe and would continue to be so.

Angelus deftly maneuvered the sedan along the highway, observant of his speed and the traffic, but his mind was miles away. Someone had tried to assassinate his lover, and that crime would not go unpunished. Smelling the remnants of her blood he clenched his jaw in renewed fury.

He would solve this mystery and the world might very well tremble from it by the time he was through.

Unaware of Angelus' passionate vow, Buffy felt sleep draw its silken net over her, slowing her body into the rhythm of rest. Before Dream could fully lull her mind she suddenly spoke aloud, "If I wasn't drugged, I could've taken them."

A heartbeat passed before she felt his cool hand briefly caress her cheek. "I know you would've." Unbeknownst to Angelus a note of pride in her abilities slipped past his control, and communicated itself to Buffy.

Hearing it, but too afraid that it too would disappear along with his kindness, she remembered Angelus' earlier words: _Is it such a crime to enjoy your time with me Buff?_

Silently Buffy thought, _No, it's not a crime Angelus. It's just dangerous. To me. To my heart._


	28. Chapter 28

The evening dusk parted ways with the coldly sweet sunlight as long shadows stealthily crept about the Summers house. A brisk wind wound its way through the large and noble trees, disturbing their long, gaunt branches while forcing several stubborn leaves to abruptly shed their final hold upon the familiar. On another day the Slayer might have viewed the sight before her with a mild sense of foreboding but today was not that day.

Buffy only noticed the feeling of warmth that flared within her heart as she saw her mother standing on the steps. Her small hand clutched the door handle, ready to exit the car when she heard, "Huh, Honey?"

Distractedly glancing at her father she immediately noticed the tenseness lining his drawn mouth. Without words he communicated his feelings of discomfort. Dropping her hand into her lap Buffy casually asked, "Yes?"

"Do you think that, well, that you might not tell your mother that-" Hank Summers abruptly closed his mouth as he watched his ex-wife come down the steps toward the parked car. Whether he changed his mind or simply decided that the chance of Joyce overhearing his question was not worth it, he resigned to silence.

Watching her mother eagerly approach the car with a smile Buffy softly finished his question. "That you had to stay over in Vancouver an extra night?"

Awkwardly he cleared his throat before answering, "Yes."

Turning towards her father Buffy leaned forward and quickly planted a small kiss on his cheek, sure without words that the action communicated her daughterly love for him. "I won't say a word." Pulling back she reached out and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

Studying the back of his palm she noticed the tiny wrinkles and slight discolorations that betrayed her father's growing age. It was in these changes that humans shared kinship: mortality.

Mortality stalked them all, from the moment of conception until the last bit of dirt covered any trace of life that had once occupied these husks called bodies. A lashing of resigned sadness communicated itself in Buffy's tiny smile. Mortality was hers and this was probably the last time she would see her father before Acrymydion.

Lovingly staring at his handsome profile she murmured, "Bye Daddy."

Buffy felt his surprised start before his strong hand closed over hers tightly. Reaching out Hank Summers gave his daughter a hug, awkward at first but soon relaxing into the familiarity of a time so long before. "You haven't called me-" His voice choked off into silence as he fought to ignore the instinctual embarrassment he felt over his raw emotions.

Respecting his fight with pride Buffy whispered, "I know." Closing her eyes she took comfort in the memory of security that his arms represented. This was her Daddy, and no matter what happened to her, Hank Summers would ALWAYS be her Daddy. The past anger, blames, and hurt slid away from Buffy's shoulders as she said this good-bye.

Surprisingly there were no tears in her eyes as she slid away from his strong arms. "Try to save time for life, okay Daddy?"

A bemused expression sped through his eyes before he understood what his daughter meant. A tired smile lifted his lips as he replied, "I'll try."

Turning away from him Buffy opened the door and found her mother waiting. Stepping out of the car she eagerly rushed into Joyce's embrace. Hugging the older woman tightly Buffy suddenly remembered how it felt laying out in the middle of a cold asphalt road with her only a pool of her own blood to warm her. Taking a deep breath she silently thanked God that it had happened in LA and not here in Sunnydale.

Breaking apart Joyce asked, "So how did your visit go? Since you didn't call me yesterday…" The trailing end of her casually spoken sentence held a healthy dose of motherly guilt while her pretty face remained guileless.

Good-naturedly griping Buffy sighed and declared, "Mom I'm 17 not 7. I didn't call yesterday because I was having such a good time with Dad." Just as quickly as the words were out of her mouth she relived an image of the day before and knew that all but the last word was true.

 _Buffy lay full-length on top of Angelus, her lips clinging to his as possessively as his hands roamed her naked back. Slowly grinding her hips against him Buffy wantonly groaned with bliss as they mated with an intensity that had never been present before._

 _It was almost like making love, not quite, but closer than anything they had ever done before._

A slight blush tinged her cheeks as the pleasure of remembered thoughts flooded her body with awakening hunger. Peering up at the sky Buffy was glad that dusk had all but claimed the sky. One it would cover the redness in her cheeks, two it meant that he would be coming for her.

The chains that clung to her hips made a charming "tinkling" sound as Buffy walked with her mother to the back of her father's car. Although she was sure that they couldn't hear it, she could, and the erotic music brought a small, secretive smile to her lips.

Angelus had wanted her to leave the guilt when they were together and yesterday she had done just that-much to the enjoyed pleasure of them both.

Absently she noticed that her parents seemed a bit less tense around each other than usual. Perhaps it was because her father was relieved that he wouldn't have to tell her mother that he had not really been with her at all except for the car ride here and back.

Helping her mother with several bags she deftly maneuvered a plain, crème colored one behind her suitcase and practically ran into the house. "Buffy! What's the hurry?"

Calling over her shoulder she yelled in mock pain, "Mom these are heavy! The faster I walk the quicker I can put them down!"

Racing up the stairs Buffy immediately walked into her room and hid the case in her closet. Her father being the man he was didn't even notice that he packed a new suitcase in the trunk; her mother, on the other hand, WOULD notice and ask about it.

Satisfied that it was safely hidden she bounded down the stairs in time to bid her father a formal good-bye. Awkwardly standing in the doorway Hank said, "Thanks for letting me have her Joyce."

Reservedly smiling she answered, "It was my pleasure. I'm just glad that you finally saw it my way."

Buffy could almost see her father bristle in irritation before he forced his shoulders to relax. Nodding his head he replied, "You were right." Turning towards the beautiful girl he had helped create Hank Summers sincerely said, "I hope our next visit is longer."

Stepping forward Buffy impulsively hugged her father once more, much to the delight of Joyce. Watching them both her fine eyes softened with love. While not outwardly defiant she knew that her daughter had not been happy with the divorce, and the distance she seemed to hold as a shield between them had extended to Hank early on. This was the first time she had seen them hug in what felt like years and it made Joyce happier than anything had in a long while.

Giving his daughter a final squeeze Hank stepped back and nodded his head in farewell. Buffy glanced outside and saw that nightfall had taken over. Looking up at her father she offered, "I'll walk you out."

"You don't have to-"

"I insist." Reaching out with one hand she flipped the switch for the porch light and warily scanned the darkness. Unconsciously her eyesight sharpened until she could see the myriad details to be found in the shadows of night. The area was clear.

Walking Hank to the car she watched as he soon backed out and drove down the street with a wave. Feeling a tug of sadness pull at her heart Buffy sighed softly and returned inside. Although it got easier as time passed she still missed having a complete family, and watching one leave or having to leave the other never lost its particular pang of sorrow.

Closing the door she walked into the living room and began chatting about events that never happened, and shopping trips that weren't quite how she told it.

Keeping an eye on the time Buffy felt a wanton tingling in her stomach. _Soon._

Spike sat in his chair, smoking a cigarette while leisurely flicking his ashes onto the floor. Too bad the Slayer couldn't have died on the streets like she deserved. Taking a deep drag of nicotine he squinted his eyes as he blew a perfect ring of smoke out. The Ogziwarxs would've had a bitch of time taking Buffy out if she hadn't been conveniently drugged for the occasion.

Still she had managed to escape with her hide intact, even if it was a bit tattered. Evilly grinning Spike lifted up a glossy 8 X 10 picture and observed the bloody and torn body of the Slayer. Although color would have been nice, the black and white had its dramatic beauty. Tilting his head to the side he drank in the sight of the thick trickle of blood running out of her slack mouth. Turning the picture Spike gleefully enjoyed the spectacle of seeing what the Slayer's lungs looked like.

Color would have definitely been appreciated.

Glancing at the time Spike knew that Angelus would be returning back to the Factory and in a temper no doubt. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a small lighter and regretfully flicked it on. Holding up one picture after another he torched all evidence of what he had seen, but carried the memories merrily within his mind.

His preternatural hearing quickly picked up the heavy steps of Druscilla's sire entering the main hall. _None too soon._ Pocketing the lighter Spike simply nodded as a member of his crew quickly cleaned up the ashes and deposited them down the bathroom sink. Rolling his way through the opened doors Spike made his way down the twisting corridors, squaring his shoulders for the Inquisition that was sure to come.

He also hardened his heart to whatever might occur to Dru. When it came to intrigue Angelus was no fool, and he would know that Spike's hand was in this. However, he had no proof and Irish would not execute him without evidence. Despite his control over the clan Spike was too important a member to just willfully exterminate-and Angelus knew that.

That didn't mean he might not be above using a bit of torture to encourage a confession.

Reaching the main hall he was greeted by the sight of Angelus negligently sprawled on what had been Spike's chair. Clamping down his petty anger the blond vampire pasted on his most bored face and nonchalantly said, "Two visits from Daddy in less than week! Aren't we bloody lucky?"

Observing Angelus' cold face Spike had no doubt that this was anything but a social call. "Spike." The one word was frigid, the fury that should've been blistering absent from the deadness of his deep voice.

Maintaining eye contact Spike placed all his concentration on the situation before him. If he appeared too accommodating, that would pronounce his guilt as loudly as a confession would. If he appeared too belligerent, that would suggest a challenge he was not yet ready to see through.

Balance was what was required here. Not too much, not too little.

"Has Dru already gone to feed?" The question casual enough was a test in itself.

Shrugging in studied ease Spike remarked, "No she hasn't." Pulling out a cigarette he purposely didn't offer one to Angelus. Reading the chillingly amused light in those dark eyes he knew he had made the right move. Casually drawing a puff he said, "Last I saw she was taking tea with a couple of college cheerleaders-if you know what I mean."

"She should be here."

Bad move. The Prick always wanted those in his inner circle at his beck and call, even if he made no prior announcement of his return. Druscilla should have been here. He had told her that she would be called, if she were needed. The frown on her lovely pale brow had told him the same thing: bad move. But even though he had hardened his heart to her possible future pain, he had still shown softness by leaving Druscilla in her chambers.

Without a second's pause Spike's face twisted into a grimace that was not affected. "Dru has been…jealous and I think she wants to punish you." It wasn't a lie. After the brief moment of sanity had passed, Druscilla's eyes had narrowed in haughty indignation as she spat, "Daddy's been playing with that dirty girl and I think he should be chastised. I won't sit at his feet tonight-that will show him my displeasure."

After her boldly defiant statement her beautiful crystal eyes had narrowed for a different reason. Much to Spike's unhappiness she had confided, "I hope my Angel takes a switch to my bottom for being so impertinent. Do you think he will?"

The short bark of laughter that rang throughout the factory was snidely amused. "Oh that had to HURT Spikey-boy! Tell me, did your throat choke up or was that just a bad swallow of cigarette smoke?"

"Fucker." Short, mutinous, to the point. Dislike had no place to hide in Spike's cold eyes and he didn't care. This game he was playing held room for truth, just not complete truth.

Arching a thick brow Angelus quietly asked, "And what's she jealous for?"

Insolently flicking his ashes between them Spike answered, "Fluffy. Oh pardon me mate, that was supposed to be Buffy."

"Buffy. Yes, Buffy." The words were spoken in a low croon, the menace snaking between each syllable until the hall just echoed with dangerous fury. Crossing his legs at the ankles Angelus steepled his fingers, his ebony eyes observing every nuance of Spike's coolly disinterested face.

"You know what's funny?"

"Your choice of bedmates?"

Shaking his head in false amusement Angelus softly asked, "Guess what I ran into down in LA?"

Slowly blinking his eyes in boredom Spike waited out the seconds until heavily snapping, "What?"

Lifting up one side of his well-shaped mouth in a smirk Angelus noted the belligerent impatience and replied, "Ogziwarxs." He awaited the moments with infinite patience and watched for the deceit to find a way to tell him what he wanted to know.

"Are you really surprised?" Leaning back the wheelchair creaked as Spike crossed his arms over his chest.

Interesting. He didn't expect this move from Spike. "Considering my warning of before yes." Dropping his hands to his knees Angelus leaned forward and musingly asked, "Do you remember what I said about the Slayer a few weeks ago? No, don't answer, let me just refresh your memory: _**The Slayer is mine. No one, I repeat NO ONE is to try to take her.**_ Do you remember that Spike, my boy?"

Sneering the blond vampire drawled, "How can I forget the disgusting territorial show of affection you made?"

"Territorial. Good choice of words Spike." Narrowing his eyes slightly Angelus softly whispered, "I am territorial to the EXTREME. Buffy is my mistress and I'll decide if she lives or dies."

"Mistress now!" Crudely whistling he remarked, "She learned to give good head that quickly, eh?" Spike watched in detached fascination as Angelus' eyes slowly closed before fixing upon his body. Mentally steeling himself not to flinch he watched as the dark vampire rose from his throne and gracefully made his way towards himself.

Stopping in front of the wheelchair Angelus squatted until they were eye to eye. "You will not speak of her in that way." Before Spike could react he had his right hand in his. Giving it a brutal squeeze Angelus quickly broke all the fingers using very little effort. Repeating himself above the tiny gasp of pain that escaped from Spike's clenched lips he merely repeated, "You will NEVER speak of my mistress in that way," and carelessly flung the shattered hand away.

Laying his useless hand in his lap Spike cursed Angelus' newfound strength and speed. Damn bitch Slayer! It was her blood that caused this, and before it was all said and done her blood would be her downfall. _I have to take comfort in that._

Boldly tipping his head back Spike was hard pressed not to let a smirk reflect the one in front of him. _The time is coming Angelus, and even you can't stop it._ Sunnydale would be HIS once more, as would Dru. Until then...

Squinting his eyes he took a deep drag of nicotine with his good hand before sneering, "Where's the same chap who boasted that humans were only good for two things: feeding and fucking? And not necessarily in that order?"

"Oh he's still here Spike, he's still here." Angelus nonchalantly circled the blond vampire's wheelchair, much like a cunning wolf patiently flushing out his prey.

"Yet now you've proclaimed a human as your mistress…doesn't seem to make the same impact there. Don't tell me you've gone soft on me now!"

"Soft?" The dark master lightly laughed in dangerous amusement as he answered, "My Buffy is hardly an ordinary human idiot-she does not apply." Stopping abruptly he murmured, "Your obedience still does." Leaning forward Angelus suddenly growled, "When did you summon them?"

"I asked if you were surprised that it happened-not that I did it." Spike cunningly held contact with Angelus' midnight gaze knowing that there was no need for deceit. Although his hand hurt like hell he couldn't break his ramrod straight posture or it would appear as if he were guiltily shifting.

Druscilla's sire reflected the blond vampire's stillness, his every muscle fluidly coiled and ready to tear out Spike's throat at any moment. "Do you have the balls to tell me that you weren't behind this?" His voice would have made any number of demons flinch from threat and terror.

Except for Spike.

Perhaps it was a numbness of the absent soul, or perhaps it was the bone weariness of being stuck in a metal prison masquerading as a wheelchair but Spike held no room in his defunct heart of fear for himself. However, Druscilla his dark goddess was another matter entirely for he could not bear to lose her. And that's exactly what would occur if he did not play his part flawlessly in this blood-soaked drama.

The end result of all his machinations was this: Angelus could not be permitted to continue to rule over the Hellmouth. He cared not a whit for the clan, or the balance that the portal required. The prick only catered to his own hungers, his own obsessions: human women and power. The Slayer held his perverse interests for the moment, but once that waned where would that leave them all? Or even worse: what if she spurned him out of pocket?

Spike could very well imagine Angelus trying to destroy the world in order rid himself of an obsession with Buffy. That could not happen.

"It's no secret that I hate her bloody guts. Besides the fact that she's slaughtered many of our clan, she also put me in this pox of chair!" Punctuating the end of his heated statement with a slam of a fist Spike narrowed his icy eyes and growled, "Frankly Angelus I don't give a shit what you do with her as long as she ends up dead."

"So you decided to hurry things up a bit."

Laughing shortly Spike spat, "I don't need to do a goddamned thing except wait until it happens because you always take care of it-don't you?"

Angelus slowly blinked, acknowledging the dig with an insolent smirk. Yet on the inside, in the solitary space of his seldom-visited vulnerabilities, he suffered a moment of disquiet. He usually took care of them-by draining every bit of blood from their treacherous bodies. _Will it end the same this time? Can it be different? Buffy's not like them…_ The twisted grin abruptly melted as his icy continence returned. "Answer my question."

Arching his brows in irritation Spike sighed and stated, "No I did NOT summon the Ogziwarxs."

Angelus' razor sharp retort was immediate, "Someone summoned them."

A coldly taunting smile lifted the corners of Spike's mouth, "Of course someone did Irish. Since your return you've made many alliances…and many enemies." Lifting up his cigarette he took a satisfying drag before shrugging casually, "Maybe someone got the bright idea to pop off your latest pet just to piss you off."

Angelus nearly gave into the urge to demolish Spike's face. No, he couldn't expose how much those words affected him. To be possessive of Buffy was one thing-to act as if he really cared about her welfare was another. _Which I really don't._ However, the memory of seeing her brokenly sprawled in a pool of blood rose before him, mockingly challenging his thoughts.

A tremor of fury blasted through his body, scorching the memory until it lay much like ashes in a cold fireplace. It was done and over with. Buffy had healed perfectly with no lingering side effects. Their fuck-fest at her father's house had more than adequately proved that.

Now Angelus had to focus on vengeance. Any threat to his whore was a threat to him simply because it was disrespectful to his position and power. That was all there was to it. His sharp eyes darted to Spike as he heard him suddenly drawl, "And even then, maybe it had nothing to do with you at all."

"Meaning?" He asked it, already knowing the answer.

"Even though you've only been back in the game for a few rounds you still have Angel's memories. You know the chit's racked up enemies on both sides of the Atlantic. Who knows? Maybe one finally decided to get her to curl her toes."

Casually strolling behind Spike's wheelchair Angelus leaned down and softly snarled, "And you know what I think? I think you're real quick with **helping** me come to the right conclusion."

Spike kept his gaze trained ahead, knowing that Irish was going to twist the screws.

"I know that you think that I'll torture you or Dru to get a confession that we both know you have."

At the mention of Druscilla's name Spike felt his guts freeze. Although it had been easy to steel himself to the images of seeing his love in pain, the reality of it occurring was testing his resolve.

"You know that by the time I'm done I could get you both to confess to every curse word you've ever sworn, every lie you've ever told, every ill thought you've ever had."

If Spike had still been a man his heart would have started beating just a bit harder. Torture was something he could handle. It was something Dru could handle as well. But having to see her being mutilated…that was not something he would be able to take. Still he could not let the fear form; if it happened then he would just have to deal with it: by driving a rail through Angelus' black heart. The other plans be damned!

"But you know what? I'm not going to do it…tonight. There's plenty of rope for you to share Spike."

 _Careful, careful. This isn't something usual for the bastard. He usually isn't that cunning, or that patient. What's his angle?_

"We both know where we stand and I know what you want." Angelus' voice dropped into a menacing hiss as he stated, "Your time is over pup-it should have never been to begin with." Giving the chair a taunting push Angelus icily smirked, awaiting for the other to face him.

Tightening his fists on the metal wheels Spike nearly jumped from the chair to finish his grandsire off. _That goddamned fucking piece of shit!_ Closing his eyes briefly he fought for his internal balance, ordering the blood to cool and leave off. Patience. It was what he was good at. _You smug bastard-your time is coming to an end and you don't even know it._ So it was with much control and will that the blond vampire managed to flippantly state, "I think you'll understand if I choose to disagree with you on that one boyo."

"Disagree or not I really don't give a good goddamn Spikey-as long as you know that I'll see you coming. And when you do…" Angelus casually strolled towards the darkened hallways that led to Druscilla's chamber. Pausing for a moment he laughingly remarked, "It will be the end of you, my dear boy."

Spike's eyes narrowed slightly at the corners as he realized where Angelus was going and why. The hatred that rose up from the dark depths of his being nearly choked him. It wasn't enough that he was banging the Slayer, he had to now come back and take Dru. _I guess the honeymoon is over_ he thought with a curl of his lip.

Feeling the urges to abandon the ruse of his wheelchair and go after Angelus was nearly uncontrollable. He detested him looking at his love, much less touching her. Taking an unneeded deep breath Spike's cheeks became hollow as he stared off into the direction Angelus had taken. _That's where you're wrong Prick-it will be the end of YOU._

A cold smile did nothing to erase the hatred in the blond vampire's eyes. With carefully controlled movements Spike rolled towards his chamber and waited for the bastard to leave. Angelus thought he was spinning a web of power and guile, but he had no clue that a bigger one was being spun to catch him.

 _Keeping playing lord and master boyo. When you fall, you'll not fall alone. Your little tart will be there to keep you company._

Buffy finished the last of her chicken breast before laying the fork down and raising her arms in a delighted stretch. "Dinner was GREAT Mom!"

Smiling from across the table Joyce replied, "I'm glad you enjoyed it." Picking up their plates she walked towards the kitchen and threw over her shoulder, "I'm guessing that you and Dad didn't have any home-cooked meals, did you?"

"Nah, but that was alright," Buffy noted with a smile. Her meals yesterday may not have been home-cooked but they were delicious. She had never known how erotic it could be to have Angelus lazily watch her eat, taking enjoyment in the amount she could consume. As she learned vampires could eat, but not much. Therefore, he had taken pleasure with hand feeding her every bite while she sat naked on his lap. No, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and several snacks may not have been home-cooked, but that was ALRIGHT.

After a few more hours of mother/daughter chitchat Buffy went upstairs to take a shower. It was growing late so she had already bid Joyce goodnight and had already made three phone-calls to Willow, Xander, and Giles. Everything had been normal, as normal as it could be on the Hellmouth. Giles had mentioned that he had come across Druscilla but had been unable to stake her.

Buffy couldn't help but feel a little disappointed upon hearing that bit of news. The more she thought of Druscilla, the more jealous it made her feel. Although she understood why Angel felt the way he did about her, Angelus was another matter entirely. He felt no guilt for driving her insane, nor did he feel sorry for making her a vampire. Coward that she was Buffy had yet to ask Angelus point-blank if there was anything going on between them. _As if he'd tell the truth,_ she thought with a touch of cynicism. Unless she saw it herself she would probably never be able to tell what the truth really was.

Opening up her door she closed it and leaned against it for a moment. How were things going to progress now between Angelus and herself? Yesterday had been wonderful, so wonderful that in the quiet of her room she had to admit that once more she felt afraid. For the first time in so long she had felt happy, not only with the world, but herself. She could theorize that maybe it was because she had seemingly been so close to death, but Buffy knew that wasn't it.

It was Angelus.

There hadn't been a single argument or a fight between them. The only time he had been rough with her was when she had requested it. A small blush tinted Buffy's cheeks as she remembered how she had laid herself across his lap. She could even now feel how he had taken his large hand and reddened her bottom until she had repeatedly laid open-mouth kisses across his leather-clad thighs.

Oh it was embarrassing to remember how wanton she had been, but it had been so sinfully good.

Mentally shaking her head Buffy headed towards the shower so she could be clean and ready for when Angelus came. She assumed that they would go back to his place and she would catch a few hours of sleep before heading back home. Turning on the light and the ventilator Buffy quickly shed her clothes and looked at herself naked in the mirror.

 _There are so many things I do with my body and no one can tell. I look totally normal._ Her breasts were still small as were her hips. Voluptuous was apparently not going to be part of her genetic makeup and she wistfully wished it were. Although she had to admit that her figure was cute she just wished there were more curves. _Who knows? I'm still growing-it could happen._ Buffy suddenly felt a pitch of melancholy lace her feelings as she thought of her prophesy.

Chances are that there would be no more growing for her.

Giles had been rather subdued, almost as if he hadn't wanted to talk about it. Not that she blamed him. In fact, he was more excited about beginning her **specialized** training than talking about depressing prophesies and staked vampires.

Closing the door she padded over to the shower and turned on the taps. Testing the water with her fingertips she briefly considered taking a bath before changing her mind. It would take too long. Pulling the switch on the shower she stepped in and let the water flow over her body. Closing her eyes she opened up her mouth and felt the heat enter her.

Suddenly her stomach began to feel tight and achy while her neck throbbed with a familiar hunger. Crossing her arms across her breasts she opened up her eyes and whispered, "Angelus."

The shower curtain slowly opened to reveal her dark vampire. Buffy's mouth curved into an uncertain smile of welcome. Without saying a word Angelus kept his gaze trained upon hers and removed his scarlet velvet shirt. Spellbound she watched as he shifted his stance, presumably to slide his shoes off as well as his socks. Soon all that was left was his black leather pants. Those disappeared fairly quickly as well until he was gloriously naked.

Stepping into the shower Angelus gave Buffy a decadent kiss that she happily returned right back. Pulling away from her lips he leaned across her and murmured, "Hotter."

She immediately yelped and pressed herself against him as the water turned near blistering. "It's too hot."

"Ssh lover, you'll get used to it." Before she could give another protest Angelus silenced her with another kiss that soon had Buffy concentrating on the heat of their mouths versus the heat of the water.

Feeling her wrap her slim arms around his neck Angelus enjoyed the familiarity of feeling her fingers entangle themselves in his hair. Her restless shifting indicated that she wanted to feel his arms around her. Obliging her he felt a tremor of weakness resonate within himself at how quickly he was beginning to know her.

Ripping his mouth away he lightly nipped the skin of her neck and shoulder, supremely pleased at the cries of delight spilling from her soft pink mouth. He grunted with male satisfaction when he felt Buffy's hand eagerly wrap itself around his hard cock and began to give it several firm strokes.

The blowjob that Druscilla had given him tonight had done nothing to take the edge off his hunger. In fact it had only served to make him want to bed his mistress more than ever. He had taken a whip to his naughty childe afterwards but grumpily acknowledged that it had pleased more than punished.

Creeping into Buffy's room he had been delighted that she was in the shower. Although he had boldly come straight to her house from the Factory, the more he thought about it the better it was that the Slayer knew nothing of his activities tonight. Therefore a shower erased all evidence of infidelity. Dispassionately he thought about her words of two nights ago: _God knows I'll probably go far beyond that before this is through, but I will NOT let you cheat on me! You touch another woman, that means Druscilla, minions, whatever-you will hurt as bad as I will._

Although he would never, EVER admit it out loud Angelus knew that she was right.

Buffy's back, bottom, and thighs were red but the near-scalding heat was no longer bothering her as much as it first was. Distantly she thought of her mother coming in to catch them both. "Angelus?"

Busy with lavishing her neck with his attention and her backside with his hands he grunted, "Hmm."

"Did you lock the door?"

Moving his hand to slide between her thighs he absently asked, "What door?"

"The bathroom door." Buffy's knees weakened when she felt his long fingers begin to teasingly slide against her moist flesh.

"No."

Leaving a kiss against his ear Buffy pushed against him only to hear him growl. The effect on her was immediate: if anything she grew wetter. "I need to lock the door just in case she comes in here."

"No." Sinking his fingers deep within her he began a teasing rhythm while drawing his thumb across her clit with delicate grace.

Closing her eyes against the waves of pleasure Buffy softly mewled once before straightening. "I don't want to get caught."

Roughly pushing her against the steamed tiles Angelus deeply kissed her mouth, thrusting his tongue much the way his body would soon. He pulled away only once to confidently say, "We won't. Your mother will not come into this room tonight."

For several moments Buffy clung to his body, her thigh lifted up to give him better access. Breathlessly she panted, "How do you know?"

Lifting up one breast higher Angelus wickedly curled his tongue around the pointed nipple. "I have my ways Buff."

"Such as?" Her eyes drifted shut as a languorous web of pleasure drew over her body. Buffy loved the way Angelus used his teeth and tongue to alternately tease and punish her nipples.

Releasing her breast with an impatient growl he answered, "Stop talking so much!"

Her fingers tightened in annoyance as she sharply retorted, "It didn't bother you yesterday!"

"That was then, this is now." Instead of awaiting an answer Angelus immediately dropped to his knees, lifted her leg over his broad shoulder and began to thoroughly caress Buffy's center with his lips, tongue, and fingers.

"Aaahhh…you…jerk!" Her hands curled into little claws as she dug into his warming skin. She loved the way he could make her body feel. All her virginal imaginings of what it could be like between a man and a woman were NOTHING compared to the reality. Although she could never explain it, somehow she just knew that it wasn't like this with everyone. Somehow Buffy knew that with another man it would never be this heavenly. Therefore she panted, "Oh yes…yes…Angelus…oh yes…harder!"

Angelus wickedly smiled with sexual triumph at feeling the way her little body undulated beneath his talented ministrations. Reaching up with one large hand he firmly squeezed her breast, purring with satisfaction at the way her breath hitched.

"It feels good doesn't it?"

"Mmmm…"

Pressing his face against her hot, wet flesh Angelus hungrily inhaled the deliciously sweet aroma that marked his mistress' desire. Buffy smelled absolutely sweet and divine. There was not an inch of her that he had not claimed, had not taken for his own. Well, almost…

Sliding two fingers in and out he darkly commanded, "I want you to come for me now, lover." Pursing his lips around her clit he sucked with enough pressure that he was sure that soon she would be shaking and moaning his name. _I want it tonight_ he thought with male determination.

"I want…you…inside…me."

His trademark smirk lifted his lips as he seductively murmured, "Oh, really?" Trailing his fingers until they touched the tight rosette of virginal flesh Angelus felt Buffy jerk with sudden nervousness. Pulling his face back his eyes flashed golden with naked hunger in direct contrast to his soft and carefully modulated voice. "It seems like we both want to each achieve the same ends, yet with different means."

Hazily looking down Buffy's eyes became smoky with suppressed desire. A feline smile curved the lines of her mouth as she teasingly replied, "So it would seem." Running her hand along his shoulder she noted that his flesh was warm and pink, almost as if he were human. Looking down at her own skin she saw how it was red and splotchy from the intense heat of the water.

Wickedly he smiled as his tongue curled out once more to taste her. Looking up me arrogantly declared, "I will have my way Buff." Before she could utter another word his mouth resumed a carnal onslaught that left her in near-painful titillation.

Feeling her silken walls erotically cling to his fingers Angelus enjoyed the wet sounds of her desire. Lust hammered away at his awesome control, the need to plunge into her almost overwhelming. But first he had to hear her cry out her love for him…

Buffy's hips began to move of their own accord beneath her vampire's careful tutelage. The game of dominance that they always played was leaving her as the lucky loser. Although she wanted to feel his body pounding away at hers, she adored it when Angelus caressed her like this. Her lids were heavy, softening her view of the world's corners as she looked down. A jolt of love shot through her as she saw her lover on his knees for her.

His silky black hair was completely wet, the rivulets of water running down his face and into her body. His skin was no longer pale; instead it looked human with a hint of healthy pinkness. Although he would view it as a betrayal Buffy couldn't help but wonder what their lives would be like if he had never been a vampire, and she never a Slayer.

Watching his voracious movements Buffy knew that she never wanted to be from him-she wanted to be by his side always. She'd always have love for Angel, but now there was room in her heart for what he had become. _Somehow I can make this work. Yesterday proves it. He could have left me to die, but he didn't. I want his love. I want to show him what love is. I'll do anything to show him love._

With those thoughts in mind Buffy felt the beginnings of an orgasm overtake her body. Arching her back her fingers clung to his shoulders as she closed her eyes. He made her feel so good, so alive. In a low voice she softly sighed, "Oh yes! Yes…oh Angelus…oh I love you!"

She felt him withdraw his mouth but leave his fingers on her until the spasms left her body. Soon he wrapped his arms around her small waist and she sank with him to the tub floor. Laying against his broad chest Buffy entwined her arms around his neck and rested her head against his chest.

"Did that feel good, darling?"

"Mmm…yes it did."

Nuzzling her ear Angelus softly asked, "Then you're not disappointed in my method?"

"Mmm…no…never." Buffy felt the edges of wakefulness blur as sleep beckoned. Tightening her arms around his neck she felt so safe and secure. It was ironic she had to admit. A Slayer feeling safety in a Master Vampire's arms? Three days ago she would never have felt this. But now it was different. Smiling she brushed her lips against the spot where his heart used to beat.

"What's this Buff? Are you going to sleep on me?" His voice was darkly playful, the male outrage marking his words making Buffy smile.

Snuggling closer she responded, "Just for a little bit."

Her only answer was a male grunt and a tightening of his arms.

Feeling his mistress' body relax Angelus stared at the showerhead, seemingly watching the water spray down upon them. However, his mind was not the mundane, but rather on the sense of calm that was pervading his mood. He hadn't realized how tense and edgy he had felt, but now he felt clean of all that would taint him.

With a startled frown Angelus thought, _But isn't this moment right now tainting me?_

Almost as if to dispel his troubled mind Buffy shifted slightly against him and sweetly murmured, "I love you Angelus."

In response he kissed the top of her head before realizing what he had done. Laying his head against the steamed tiles his mouth tightened. He had to be careful. This was just a diversion, a means to end. Pleasure was his only purpose in keeping their liaison. Pleasure.

 _I know what I'm doing here. I haven't forgotten. Until then I can hold her. There's no danger in that._

Looking down he intently studied the soft, youthful lines of her pretty face, enjoying the way her soft, pink mouth lay slightly opened. Focusing his preternatural senses he could hear every beat of her heart, every rush of blood as it fed her body, the never-ending function keeping her alive and healthy. Watching the rivulets of water rather on her dark, spiky eyelashes Angelus remembered the sight of her sprawled on the ground.

Even now he could feel a curious tightening in his gut and it bewildered him. He was far from being the squeamish type so large amounts of blood, tissue, and bone were hardly enough to affect his mood…and yet… Closing his eyes Angelus banished the memory by replacing it with another: Buffy naked.

Rubbing his large hand against her trim waist, a jolt of possessive pleasure shot through him as his palm encountered the jeweled links. _Mine._ Moving his arm he slid it across her body until he touched her relaxed hand. Holding it within his Angelus' thumb idly stroked the silver ring, his emotions torn as to why he still wore his.

Observing the thick silver band on his finger he studied the myriad feelings raging within him. Frustration, shame, fury, hatred…yes, that was nothing new, but what else? Squinting his eyes he realized that there were more emotions, ones that should have no name within a vampire like himself. Regret, longing…loneliness…

Loneliness.

Clenching his hand into a fist Angelus refused to go any further. A twinge of hunger flicked its tongue, reminding him he had yet to feed. Diverting his thoughts to ones that were pleasing he could feel his fangs lengthening, their anticipation for Buffy's blood obvious.

Running his fingers lightly across her back Angelus felt the water cooling, alerting him it was time to get out. Absently he thought it a pity they couldn't soak as long as he liked, but then he wasn't surprised that the Summers' household didn't possess an industrial size water heater like he did. Gathering his mistress securely in his arms he easily uncoiled his large body and turned the water off. Stepping out of the bath he heard her murmur sleepily even as she cuddled against him.

Quickly finding towels for them both Angelus padded into her room, leaving wet footprints all across the floor. Reaching out with one hand he pulled back the bedspread, before managing to wrap her wet body with a towel. Laying Buffy down he loosely wrapped another smaller towel around her drenched hair.

Turning away Angelus began drying himself off, humming lightly under his breath. Walking back into her bathroom he rummaged through the drawers until finding a brush. Noticing numerous blonde strands in the teeth he didn't pull them out, only ran it through his own several times until his hair lay smoothly back.

Tossing the brush back in the drawer he was about to turn the light out when a small bottle on the counter caught his attention. Lifting it up Angelus experimentally sniffed the contents and immediately realized it was Buffy's perfume. Putting the glass container back down he almost continued to explore the other feminine treasures about him, but instead turned the light out with a decided "click".

Strolling into the darkened bedroom his eyes quickly saw that she still hadn't stirred. Approaching her slumbering body he idly wondered how she could sleep so quickly, especially in his presence. Thinking back on the previous day he realized she had done it then too-but never before. She had slept next to him, that much was true, but only after exhaustive rounds of fucking. Generally Buffy hadn't given into sleep either; instead it had overtaken her until she was too tired to fight it off.

An assessing light entered his eyes as he somberly thought, _The wicked seduction of a vampire slayer is almost complete._ Through the course of several weeks he had broken her walls down, tainted her view of good and evil, and now he had her love. And the jewel in his crown of sin was their bond. Buffy Summers was linked to him in ways that went beyond the flesh. Her life was his. _Mine to keep, kill, or fuck._

Crouching next to the bed he lightly touched her cheek, enjoying how soft her skin felt. Musingly he wondered how far he would take it before…

Before what?

 _Before it all ends._ Shelving his morbid thoughts Angelus crept into the small bed, neatly arranging her slack limbs until she rested against him. Deciding she had enough of a nap he began to nuzzle her neck with his nose. Inhaling deeply he felt the twin hungers of lust and bloodlust awaken once more. Pulling away he glanced at her delicate face and saw that she still slumbered peacefully. Normally he would have rudely shaken her awake or simply pried her mouth open and shoved his cock down her throat. Normally he would have done such, but wryly he acknowledged that lately he was far from being normal in regards to this young Slayer.

Gently undoing her towel he rose up on one elbow and intently studied her naked form. _She is lovely,_ he acknowledged with tempered lust. "Buffy…Buffy…" he softly crooned, coaxing his lover to awaken from her peaceful slumber. Her response was only to cuddle even closer to him. His eyes began to glow, the hypnotically beautiful shades of gold, emerald, and black smoothly melding into one another. Gently kissing the side of her neck Angelus felt his fangs grow, his hunger too insistent to hold off any longer. Pulling back he looked down into Buffy's relaxed face once more and pressed his mouth against hers. _Her lips are so sweet…the sweetest I've ever tasted in all my existence._

Bringing her body securely against his he wrapped strongly muscled arms about her naked waist and carefully brought his mouth against her neck. Closing his eyes he felt his dangerously sharp fangs delicately pierce the soft skin beneath, relishing the lazy spurt of blood that filled his mouth.

The euphoria hitting his dead veins was so exquisite it nearly bordered on agony. Angelus could feel his eyes roll slightly beneath closed lids as the world exploded into a shower of blood, pleasure, and life. Gulping each mouthful he could taste the essence of Buffy, taking it into his body and making her a part of himself. The air changed dramatically right as her legs and shoulders stiffened, a hoarse cry of release echoing in the small room. _Yes, lover! I want to hear you cry for me! Sing for me!_

The Slayer's eyes flew open as her hands automatically curled about his neck, a throaty moan spilling softly from her lips. 'I love this feeling! If I died now I would die in bliss.' In the velvet darkness of night she felt completely enveloped and totally possessed by passion. Her secret mouth clenched in time to the spasms rocking her body as her leg crept up to feel his. A feeling of rightness descended over Buffy as she looked down and saw Angelus' dark head nestled against her neck.

Tightening her arms she closed her eyes and sweetly smiled. Things had definitely changed between them. She couldn't feel this happy, this secure, if they hadn't. Yet in the midst of all her euphoria she experienced a tentative feeling that something wasn't quite right.

 _I don't know what this feeling is, but it's as if Angelus is trying to…purge himself? Erase something? I don't know._

If he had been Angel she would've immediately asked him to clear her troubled mind. But he wasn't Angel. He was Angelus.

"What's wrong?" His voice rumbled deep within his chest, sending numerous vibrations through Buffy's.

Glancing down at him she raised a brow in curious surprise. How did he know? Maybe her body had become tense-

"I appreciate silence in a woman when I'm not fucking her, but this is not one of those times."

Stiffening in annoyance Buffy barely resisted the urge to throw him off of her. "How is it I never hear any of that charm the Watchers wrote you had? You're always so rude and crude and it just-ugh!"

Lifting his head Angelus smirked and drawled, "That's part of my charm baby! Besides, back then the ladies liked it when I treated them rude and crude." Leaning closer he playfully nipped her collarbone before arrogantly stating, "And they still do."

This time giving into the impulse Buffy shoved him away, disappointed he didn't fall off the bed in an ignoble sprawl like he deserved. Instead Angelus gracefully landed on his feet, smirk and insufferable cocky attitude in place. "What? Something I said was offensive to you, m'darlin'?"

Glaring at his devilishly handsome face Buffy couldn't help the warmth that rose to her face. _My darling-he just had to say that with an Irish brogue. Punk!_ Shaking off her absurd pleasure at hearing his voice and those particular words she complained, "You're damn right there was something you said that offended me!"

"And that was?"

Narrowing her eyes in suspicion she growled, "What do you mean **they**?"

A dangerous light entered Angelus' eyes as he debated on what to say. For him to puke out, "Nothing Buffy dear, I meant only you" would make him a pussy that deserved to get fucked to the wall. But if he were to smugly declare, "What do you think I mean Slayer-I mean every pretty piece of tail that I've had since I've been back," it would display his brass balls, but that would never fly with Buffy.

"Silence is something I appreciate in the vampires I fuck, but now is not one of those times."

Abruptly narrowing his eyes Angelus heatedly thought, _That little bitch!_ "Vampires?" he all but growled.

Reaching up with one hand she removed the damp towel before running her fingers through her hair. Securely wrapping the cotton sheet around her torso Buffy leaned towards him and icily repeated, "They?"

Taking a deep and unneeded breath the dark vampire sourly noted how his little mistress seemed to grow a backbone at the most unexpected times. Reining in his colossal pride was a nearly impossible feat in itself but Angelus took the rare high ground and answered, "Slip of the tongue Buff."

"Slip of the tongue, huh? Druscilla wasn't part of that slip, was she?"

 _Does she know?!_ "I'm not one to take advantage of the afflicted Slayer. Besides she's my childe."

Buffy didn't bother to hide her jealousy as she huffily stated, "It didn't stop you before."

The sound of her voice gave Angelus pause. He felt a malicious joy in her pain, tempted to exploit it until he had her tears bathing his cold chest. The selfish, indulgent nature that defined his existence easily won him over. _Not too much boy, just keep control._ Gracefully approaching the bed he tipped her chin with one finger and softly asked, "Would it hurt you lover if minutes before I came here Dru had her mouth wrapped around my cock?"

Buffy's face completely drained of color, her wide expressive eyes dilating with soul-crushing pain. Before she could clamp her lips shut a low keening sound of agony left her heart. "No…" The room spun crazily as she fought to retain some semblance of control. "Where are my clothes?" she tightly murmured to herself, desperately wanting to erase the vulnerability she felt clad only in a thin sheet.

"Buff." Angelus' desired answer was right before him. She was in so much agony over his infidelity, but where he expected violence there was only devastating grief. However, his cold heart was just as pleased. The barb struck, now it was time to temporarily heal the wound. Reaching out with one hand he placed it on her arm only to have it roughly shook away.

"Don't touch me. You can't touch me. Not if-not if-" Tears overfilled the banks of her hazel eyes, spilling onto bloodless cheeks. Rushing across the room Buffy yanked open the drawers, pulling out a fistful of clothes and in the process dumping several articles on the floor.

He could see her shoulders were tautly bowed over in grief, every muscle in battle against breaking down. _Okay, demon-pleasure-time over. What I've broken now I must fix._ Following her Angelus halted his mistress' frenzied movements by wrapping his arms tightly around her slim body.

"GET OFF OF ME-" Buffy's scream was abruptly cut off by a well-placed hand over her mouth. Flailing against his hard, naked form she felt her heart breaking over and over again in tandem to the muffled yells her throat was still emitting.

Leaning down Angelus whispered against her ear, "Sssh…sssh…calm down baby. It's not true. It was a bad joke."

Bucking back against him Buffy's head slammed against his chin, making the vampire see proverbial stars. Lifting her leg she quickly kicked back, neatly dislocating Angelus' knee. Hissing in pain he stubbornly held onto her, silently vowing to redden her bottom if she continued. Patiently he cooed, "I'm sorry baby. I was a jackass. I shouldn't have said it," all the while feeling a revolting sickness at the kindness of his tone. He was a master vampire-why the fuck should he be explaining himself to anyone, much less his whore?

Hearing her choked sobs and the utter loveliness of her pain Angelus was reminded why. _I love to hear her cry. I adore her pain. I cherish even more the joy I can bring her after making her cry._

Meanwhile, Buffy was locked in a world of devastation and never-ending rolls of pain. _He was with her. He was with Druscilla. I'm not the only one he sees. I'm not the only one. I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE!_ The tears wouldn't stop flowing just as her pain kept growing. Desolation began to set in as the thought reverberated in her mind. Instinct ordered her to run away, to leave the scene of her collapse. Angelus' words held no real meaning in light of her dark agony. _He can't touch me. Not with those hands. Not after touching her body. God I want to make him hurt! I want him to HURT!_

Feeling the salt tears bathe the back of his hand, Angelus was suddenly pierced with an intense pain that left him shocked and disturbed. _What the fuck!_ Groaning he clenched his eyes shut as he felt it again. The more Buffy struggled, the more intense his pain became. Automatically he checked his body, believing the ache was physical.

He was wrong.

The answer came to him in two words: the bond. Suddenly he realized he was experiencing Buffy's pain first-hand and it was not fun. _Oh shit! Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, FUCK ME!_ No, this couldn't be right. He'd made legions of vampires before and felt not a lick of their pain, pleasure, or boredom. Angelus had been around for over a century and a half and NEVER had he experienced this. He could not stomach this. He couldn't stand the pain assaulting him, awakening memories of a life that did not belong to him. The present darkness of a young woman's bedroom shifted, changing into the smoky darkness of long-destroyed tavern…

 _ **Fiona. Fiona. How could you do this to me? Why?**_ _Silently sobbing into his stout mug Angel could feel his dark hair come out of its neat queue, undoubtedly making him look like a dissolute lecher. He didn't care. His fiancée, his lady, the future mother of his children had been in bed with his own brother._

 _The pain wouldn't stop. Gut wrenching agony twisted its grip on Angel's heart as he relived each moment of seeing Fiona and Michael in bed together._ _ **It hurts so badly! Why would they do this to me? I loved her! I would've given her anything-how could she have done this to me?**_

 _Hours passed while he ordered drink after drink. At one point he briefly went upstairs to find dubious comfort in the paid arms of a plump barmaid, but instead of pleasure he found nothing but mocking emptiness. Coming back to the common area Angel proceeded to then lose himself in bitter ambrosia, praying for surcease from all pain._

 _His prayers went unanswered._

 _Downing the rest potent ale Angel blearily lifted his head and saw the darkness of his future. She didn't love him. Fiona would never love him. He knew that now. During all this time he had been purposely blind, not wanting to see her coldness for being what it truly was. What he had wanted to believe was maidenly modesty and chasteness was really contempt and repulsion._

 _Lord Christ it brought him low. The only woman he ever loved was at this moment probably as naked as the day she was born and giving her body to his younger brother. Remembering in graphic detail what he had seen Angel could feel his heart harden, the pain dulling until eventually it became like stone, present but no longer a thing of movement._

 _If he exposed Fiona's actions she would become a social outcast. Her family's honor would be ripped to shreds and he could be assured to never having to see her treacherous face again. A mean look entered his ebony eyes, devilishly slanting his brows until he appeared to be like his namesake-only fallen. Angel wouldn't call off the marriage._

 _He'd marry the faithless bitch, pretending to be ignorant of her activities, but once she became his by law he'd make her pay. Even if he had to strip her down to her white hide and beat her each night until he was satisfied, he'd make sure she paid. A cruel smile twisted his lips as he imagined their marital future. Once securing his heir he'd have Fiona permanently locked away on another estate, ensuring her lonely existence. By then, he'd be sure to have a mistress or two conveniently available to alleviate his needs, and life would be as it should be._

 _Love was a fickle illusion that had no place in his life. Ever again._

 _From now on Angel would do whatever it took to abolish the stains that whore left in his heart. This was the last time he'd ever suffer like this. Never again would he allow a woman to lead him by the nose. His father was right-woman were good simply for breeding and for pleasure. To elevate their status to anything more was recklessly seeking folly._

 _Sitting up his jaw clenched tightly in determination. His vengeance was not solely for her-not in the least bit._ _ **Michael you will not get away with this, brother dear.**_ _Uncontrollable laughter bubbled in his throat until it erupted in a great shout. The patrons curiously turned, uncertain of how to react to one of the gentry in an obviously drunk state. Although Lord Angel was regarded to be a better sort compared to others of his class, it didn't change the fact that he was quality._

 _Their uncertainty soon became a moot point because Angel soon got up and stumbled out of the tavern. Bracing himself against the cold wind, clad only in a stained, ruffled shirt, he blearily looked into the darkness and saw a stunning vision of beauty. Whereas Fiona was dark and cold, SHE was bright and warm. Drawn like the hapless moth to her burning flame Angel stumbled his way towards her and thought,_ _ **I will never feel this pain again. Ever.**_

Snatching his hand away Angelus felt the imprint of Buffy's teeth on his palm. "I don't ever want to see you again. Ever!" Able to loosen his arms' hold she slipped out and put distance between them, her back plastered defensively against the dresser. With each pulse of her veins her heart sobbed endless tears of blood. _How could this happen? I was beginning to feel so happy with him. I thought we had a chance to make something new and now it's over._

Acrymydion and her prophesy loomed menacingly in her mind, giving her soul another reason to grieve. _I'm going to die alone, unwanted and unloved. I lost Angel and now I've lost whatever I had of Angelus._ The pain her thoughts delivered almost brought Buffy down to her knees. Bleakly she noted how Angelus' mouth tightened, as if he had suffered his own bout of agony.

 _Goddamn bastard! God I wish I could be as heartless as he is! I HATE being a slave to my heart-I despise feeling this kind of pain._

Unmindful of his nudity Angelus drew himself up to his full height and gritted out, "Stop it Buffy! I already apologized-"

"Apologized!" she hissed in tremulous disbelief. "You think an apology is going to make this okay for me? I told you that you were mine! Mine-you stupid, dead, son-of-a-bitch!" Clutching the sheet with one hand she fumbled for her clothes, never letting her eyes leave his deceitful face.

Feeling his own devil's temper flare Angelus roared, "Didn't you hear me you bitch? I said that it didn't happen!"

Freezing in mid-motion she stood there for several seconds, distrustful yet shamefully hoping for a reprieve from all her pain. "What did you say?"

"It was an error in judgment, a piss-poor test of your devotion."

A tremulous bit of joy whispered in her wounded heart, easing the agony of betrayal and bitter despair. "What are you telling me Angelus?"

The pounding of misery lessened, giving him encouragement to continue the lie. Self-preservation was nothing to be laughed at and if he had to actively make Buffy believe that he had never transgressed tonight-then so be it. Better to grovel now and make her happy, then continue to suffer the disturbingly acute measure of her pain.

Approaching her Angelus noted how she stood there poised to flee, as cautious as a cornered doe. Stopping inches away from her body he swallowed his pride and answered, "I didn't say she did, I just wondered how you would feel-that's all."

Part of Buffy despised the hopeful longing springing in her chest. _He wasn't with her?_ "Are you telling me that you just said that just to see how'd I react?"

A surly expression crossed his face as he gruffly answered, "Yeah Slayer-that's why I did it."

Several tense seconds passed, the myriad expressions flitting across her vulnerable face ranging from disbelief, confusion, relief, and then finally anger. Coming closer to Angelus she tipped her head back and hoarsely whispered, "You made that up?"

The emotional currents assaulting him settled down before finally disappearing. Breathing an unneeded sigh of contentment he looked into her luminous eyes and asked, "You surprised babe?"

Buffy's expression became taut before snapping in an overwrought explosion of fury. With one hand she powerfully slapped his handsome face, delighting on a primal level in the sound of flesh connecting with flesh. "Get out! Do you hear me? I want you out of here!"

Rubbing his cheek Angelus snidely spat, "I take it the honeymoon's over?"

"If it is, it's your fault!" Not satisfied with merely throwing him out she shrieked, "How could you do that to me?! After all your threats about keeping me in line, about my faithfulness, you DARE to just test me like that? Are you the most insecure man in the world, or what? Oh! GOD I HATE YOU!"

Irritated he warningly growled, "Keep your voice down Buff-or do you want your mother to wake up?"

"My mother?! What Angelus-your mind-control powers are just for bragging?"

"I thought you didn't like me in your sweet mother's mind."

Stalking across the room with the sheet trailing behind her Buffy scooped up Angelus' clothes. Angrily throwing them at his face she heatedly replied, "Like you ever give a shit over what I like and don't like. Goddamn it Angelus-how could you be such a bastard? Especially after what we shared-" Abruptly stopping she clamped her mouth shut, furious beyond words.

Dropping his clothes on the floor in a blatant display of his position on where he was going, Angelus took another breath and charmingly admitted, "I'm a bastard baby. You're right-I'm the scum of the Hellmouth. I'm a rude, crude, bad man. I'm an insensitive asshole. I'm a shit. I deserve to be roasted over the pits of hell. I'm lower than the third testicle of a Closp-"

Unwillingly Buffy's fury began to disappear in face of Angelus' apology. "Stop it!"

Approaching her with confidence he allowed his eyes to become liquid with contrition. "Forgive me lover. I'm horrible. I'm a terrible, awful vampire. I deserve one of your stakes plunging into a certain part of my anatomy."

A tiny smile hovered about her lips, the tears of sadness on her face drying and in danger of being replaced by those of laughter. "You're not funny."

Wrapping one arm around her waist Angelus leaned down and lightly kissed her temple. "I'm not funny? Really? Are you sure?" Pulling back Buffy protested, "Angelus I'm still beyond mad at you. And I still want you out! Now go!"

"Go? Go where? Here?" Reaching down he gently patted the sheet covering her soft fur. Smelling the rush of desire flooding her veins the dark vampire cruelly smiled. _It was close, but Buffy is back where she needs to be: beneath my hand._

Feeling the delirious heat uncoil within her limbs she almost gave in. Having Angelus so near, smelling the intoxicating scent uniquely belonging to him Buffy could've blissfully melted at his feet. Looking up into his gaze she could see the coldness of stare that was always apart of him shift, warming at the edges-whether from pleasure or amusement-she didn't know. Still she experienced the supreme joy of seeing something other than the emotionless stare of a predator, even though a part of her was addicted to that sight as well.

Feeling Angelus' fingers boldly caress her Buffy's knees nearly gave out. Clutching his arms she could've just given into her body's dictates, letting the throbbing of her blood command her sensuality.

She could've.

But she didn't.

Pulling back from him, a teasing smile on her face, Buffy backed away towards his clothes. Carefully keeping her eyes on his she noted in satisfaction how he stood in place, thinking she was going to initiate a romp on the floor.

He was wrong.

Unmindful of her nudity she dropped the sheet, seeing the lust spring to Angelus' face in a way that almost made her change her mind.

Almost.

In less than a second Buffy grabbed her lover's discarded clothes, opened the window, and flung them out into the lawn. A human wouldn't have been able to see it, several weeks ago she wouldn't have been fast enough and Angelus wouldn't have the senses to see exactly what she was doing, but now things were different.

="" i=""

"Shit!" Lunging out the window to catch his rapidly falling leather and silk Angelus barely felt her hands on his back before he too was airborne. Watching in satisfaction Buffy hissed, "You twisted asshole! This is what I think of your test!" Instantly closing the window and locking it she barely heard his hiss of "Bitch" before she threw on a pair of pajamas and went immediately to her mother's room.

Unfortunately she hadn't thought far ahead of what she would do to keep him out.

She should've known he wouldn't docilely accept his punishment like a good vampire. Unless she managed to put up a cross on every window or miraculously knew how to cast an un-invitation spell, Angelus would come right back in. There was only one way to avoid his nasty temper and show him that his **test** did not find favor with her.

"Mom! Mom, wake up!" Shaking the older woman awake, Buffy prayed Angelus' strength of mind didn't extend this far. Her sensitive hearing instinctively sharpened, hearing her lover's fury as he made his way back up on the over-hanging roof. She had definitely taken a risky gamble punishing the vampire this way and if her mother didn't waken soon SHE was the one who'd undoubtedly be punished.

 _But Angelus deserved it and so much more!_

Just as she heard the lock rattle Joyce's sleep-hoarse voice murmured, "Buffy? What is it?" Seeing the outline of her daughter she immediately sat up and worriedly asked, "Is something wrong?"

Closing her eyes briefly Buffy could feel Angelus nearby. _He's here._ A shaky smile crossed her lips as she shook her head.

 _Where's my guts? He fucking deserved to get pushed out the window. If he had just left like I asked him too, he wouldn't have fallen bare-assed out onto the front yard. But now I'm kinda scared of what he'll do. What if he decides to just walk in here and pull me out by my hair?_

"No. Yes. Not really." Shifting her eyes toward the doorway she saw him standing in the darkness and froze.

"Buffy? Honey, what's wrong?" Leaning over to turn on the lamp she stopped at her daughter's slightly panicked "Mom!" _She can't see him here. There's no way I could explain what my tutor was doing here._

Casting her worried gaze towards the door she watched in relief as he backed away, melting into the night-darkened hallway as if he had never been there. A burst of light suddenly flooded the room as Joyce flicked on the lamp switch. A frown of worry creased her forehead, her alert eyes taking in every inch of Buffy's appearance. "Did something happen? You look flushed."

Turning back towards her mother Buffy knew Angelus was still there, listening to every word. "I-I'm sorry for waking you up. It was silly. I think I just had a nightmare."

Cupping her daughter's face with one smooth hand Joyce asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Smiling briefly she shook her head and answered, "No, I'm okay." Chewing on her lip for a moment Buffy hesitatingly asked, "Umm, Mom? Do you think I can sleep here tonight?" She knew she was being a coward by hiding out in her mother's room, but unless he took himself off, there was no other alternative.

Astonishment flickered across Joyce's face. "Sleep here? Huh, sure Honey." Pulling the comforter open she waited until her daughter was settled comfortably before asking, "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? After all, you haven't slept with me since you were seven."

"I know. I just had the weirdest dream, that's all." Settling her head on a plump pillow she delicately yawned and murmured, "Mom can you turn off the light please?"

"Sure." A small "click" echoed in the room before darkness reigned once again.

"Goodnight Mom."

"Goodnight Buffy." A moment of silence passed before Buffy's mother curiously asked, "Aliens?"

Tucking her chin over the warm, down-filled covers Buffy steadily stared into the darkness, catching a glimpse of gold and a smirk promising vengeance. "No, not aliens. Just the boogey-man."

She could feel her mother's shudder as she stated, "Well I'm glad to hear it wasn't one of THEM. I just can't stand the thought of aliens-they creep me out." Yawning loudly she turned over, readjusted the blankets, and sleepily mumbled, "Love you."

Captured within a prison of wicked fangs and primitive eyes Buffy softly whispered, "Love you," her eyes narrowed and definitely still furious. She watched as Angelus withdrew, apparently content with finishing their match another time. Sharpening her sensitive hearing ability she could hear the soundless pitch of his steps as he walked away. Laying there, staring at the ivory ceiling she angrily whispered, "He deserved it."

"Hmm? What did…you say Buffy?"

Glancing to the side she casually murmured, "Nothing Mom. Go to sleep."

"You…too."

 _He deserved it._

Furiously striding towards his car Angelus desperately desired to feel the weight of his hand falling heavily on his mistress' ass. _I can't fucking believe she threw me out! What's more, I can't believe she ran to her mommy like a little brat!_ Reaching into his pocket he de-activated the alarm with nothing more than a push of his finger. _Everything should be this fucking uncomplicated._ Yanking the door open he threw himself in and slammed it shut, still seething. _To top it all off-I can't believe I didn't just drag her out. I let her goddamn win!_

Jamming the key in the ignition he barely gave the car time to start before he was peeling down the road, intent on one destination: the Cavern.

Easily cruising down the deserted streets he pulled off into an alley within minutes, his preternatural hearing already catching the body-pounding bass of the club. Still feeling the frustrated anger beat a bloody tune in his brain Angelus slammed the car door, activated the alarm, and strode towards the entrance. Barely giving the doorman a glance his hypersensitive senses were flooded with the sharp smells of youth, blood, and sex. Especially sex.

His cock tightened in primitive need before shriveling when he remembered the utter humiliation Buffy had managed to douse on him. _Bitch!_ He had gone to her, suffering the inkling of incompletion, but now he couldn't even understand why he had bothered. Why the hell had she over-reacted? After all, he had apologized hadn't he?

Scanning the crowd his eyes immediately lighted upon a beautiful brunette wearing a white sweater and a short, red-tartan skirt. _Good-I fucking hate bottle-blondes right now._ Prowling through the thick throng of bodies Angelus predatorily made his way to his prey.

Easily catching her attention with his dark looks he smirked. _Think to punish me, will you Buff? Hah! You're easily replaceable baby-easily replaceable._

Staring down from the top floor a pair of ice-blue eyes noted the dangerous vampire's amorous actions below. A humorless smile curved Simon's lips as he watched the trap Angelus was laying. _Apparently you can't be satisfied with the beautiful Slayer, can you? Either that or she scared you and now you're running. Why do I feel it's the latter?_ The intricate signet ring on his pinkie made a slight scraping sound as the girl below suddenly caught his attention. _Something's different about her._

Leaning against the railing Angelus heard the words spill from his lips with centuries-old practice as he leaned close to her small shell-like ear. "So do you go to school?"

Answering in a loud yell to be heard above the din, "Yeah, I do. Sunnydale High."

 _I take it she hasn't learned what things are about here, otherwise she'd know I can hear her just fine._ "Really? You look like you could be a junior in college, at the very least." _Girls her age love to be seen as older._

"Ugh! Do I look that old? I was hoping you'd say I looked like a junior in high school, at the most." Sipping her drink she dropped her dark eyes from his, completely aware of his attractive charm.

A glimmer of surprise flitted across his face. Taking a breath he realized the drink in her hand wasn't liquor but merely Sprite. _She doesn't drink? A 17 year-old girl in a place like this and she's not taking advantage of the No-ID policy?_ Studying her face Angelus had to admit she was stunning in an exotic, sultry way. The girl was just as beautiful as his whore, maybe even more so.

Yet, an uncomfortable thought stained his mind: _But even so, she still isn't Buffy…_

Glancing at her delicate watch the girl looked up into his eyes and softly smiled. "It was nice talking to you…"

"Angel."

"Angel. But I've gotta get going." Sliding off the chair she gathered her small, black backpack and slipped it over her shoulders.

With a mental shrug he was prepared to find another tasty delight, but then the image of Buffy throwing him out mentally slammed him. _Cock tease!_ Reaching out with one strong hand Angelus placed it on the girl's arm, persuasively holding her in place. "Do you really have to go?"

Slowly looking at the hand on her sleeve, she let her black gaze travel upwards, finally stopping at his equally dark gaze. "I do. You know, school's tomorrow-I have to bright-eyed, bushy-tailed-you know all that jazz."

Pressing his advantage Angelus exerted his mind's convenient ability to mesmerize his prey, confident she would be singing another tune within seconds. "Sure I can't convince you to stay?"

The girl's expression stayed determined yet placid, her small smile firmly in place. "No you can't, but maybe I'll see you here next week."

A note of shock flared in his mind. _She didn't fall. Why?_ An automatic grin curved his lips as he backed off, interested the way a scientist would be after coming across a new species of insect. "Who knows, maybe you will." _If my little bitch still has me on punishment._ Realizing he didn't know her name he fairly purred as he asked, "I didn't catch your name…"

"I know." A playful smile twisted her lips for a moment before disappearing. Nodding once the girl tossed a captivating smile and gracefully made her way through the throng. Staring in curiosity Angelus was suddenly reminded of the little gypsy who had been the instrument of his downfall. They didn't look exactly the same, but both possessed the same suppressed wildness in their eyes.

However, where a black gaze used to thrill him, only a hazel one now seemed to have that effect…

Absently pulling out a pack of cigarettes he made short work of lighting one before lifting it to his lips. Who was she? She seemed vaguely familiar, but-he couldn't know for sure. Narrowing his eyes slightly he thought, _Maybe I lucked out tonight with this one leaving. For all I know Buffy could catch me rutting away and then instead of a curse, I could be ash._

Deciding to take the time to reflect his next move Angelus made his way upstairs, unaware of Simon's perusal the entire time. Looking out across the crowd his keen, blue eyes narrowed as he watched the mysterious girl pause and look over her shoulder. A cold smirk of triumph crossed her full red lips for the briefest of moments, but the blonde vampire saw it nonetheless. _You're playing with fire, my friend. You keep it up you WILL get burned, I promise._

Turning away he absently rubbed the ring on his finger, his mind busily putting the pieces of this dangerous puzzle together. Mercurial Time gave mercy to no one and it was most definitely running out…

Quietly walking the streets the girl passed the elementary school before turning towards the back of the property. Crossing the large span of lawn she made her way to a small, whitewashed building, easily making short work of the lock, before opening the door. The musty smell of chalk and dust assaulted her nose, as well as something much darker.

In a nonchalant tone she murmured, "You can come out now." The room remained as empty as it appeared when she first walked in. Heaving an impatient sigh she pointed out without turning around, "I can see you hiding in the shadows, over by the closet."

The slightest whisper of movement reached her ears before an obviously British voice commented, "I just thought ta hav' a bit o'fun with ya."

"Yeah, well it didn't work. Try it on a teenie-bopper some night, or better yet, not." Leaning on the wall closest to the door she studied the vampire in front of her, not trusting him farther than she could throw him. "So I see the great William the Bloody decided to play it safe tonight."

Coming forward he stopped in a patch of moonlight, the vivid scar on his neck attesting to a mortal life not well spent. "Spike sent me instead. Do ya hav' a prob with it?"

A humorless chuckle escaped her lips as she murmured, "I really don't care which one of you I have to deal with. You all pretty much are the same-rabid dogs that need to be put down."

"And I thought ya liked us cutie. Too bad ya can't do it yerself-like some of them that be livin' in this shit hole. Isn't that the way of it?"

She slowly blinked, fighting hard within herself to not just take the wooden pointer next to her hand and slam it into his burly chest. But if she did, the alliance was off and that wouldn't be tolerated. "That's the way of it." Forcing all emotion from her words the girl succinctly stated, "I've met him tonight."

Nodding his head in satisfaction the imposing vampire asked, "Did ya shag?"

"No."

His explosion was immediate. "Why the bleedin' hell not?"

Resisting the urge to scowl she patiently explained, "Because my idiot, it doesn't work that way. Angelus is like a child, a large child with fangs, but a child nonetheless. If he gets what he wants without struggle, he gets bored. If he gets bored then I'm of no use. If I'm of no use, then your boss doesn't get what he wants. Can you understand my reasoning, or would you like for me to break it down to picture format?"

Grudgingly he nodded, struggling not to go over to her and tear her pretty throat out. However, the remembered words of his master eliminated his instinctual response.

" _Listen well Jack-she is not to be touched. Do you hear me? Do_ _ **NOT**_ _eat her."_

"We were lucky tonight, but luck is not our motivation here. I've been studying Angelus for weeks and I know enough about him to begin my work. Angelus needs a challenge. For him the Slayer was that challenge, but now that she is in love with him, I suspect his attention will cool."

Jack couldn't suppress the sneer that crossed his face. "Do ya now? And wot will ya do if he decides ta turn on ya an' snap that little neck of yours?"

"Then I'm wrong and I die."

Surprise flitted across the vampire's brutishly handsome face. Her words were so exact, so cold-blooded that if he didn't know she was human he would've sworn she was a demon.

"But Mr. Jack Tamgrove I don't deal with luck, I deal with extensive research and the hard facts that spring forth. I didn't fall into Angelus' lap like a ripe piece of fruit. I walked away from him with a smile. It intrigued him."

 _She knows me name._ "It takes a lot more than a smile ta keep the Scourge's fancy. His obsession with the Slayer ain't to be taken lightly. She's a fire burnin' in his blood. He even tore five Ogziwarxs ta pieces over her. An obsession like his borders on luv, only he's too stupid ta realize it."

"I know." Sliding her hands into her pockets the girl mockingly smiled. "But I don't need him to love me-I just need him to be distracted enough to allow things to take their natural course."

"And ya think ya gots wot it takes?"

"If I didn't, I wouldn't be here." Absently looking out the darkened window she murmured, "I resemble the gypsy who caused him to be cursed. Angelus will seek to banish his proven weakness with another who looks enough like her to satisfy him. He does it each time with Fiona clones, he'll do it again."

"Yeah, an' he usually drives 'em dead or crazy."

A falsely playful expression crossed her dark eyes. "Aww Jack-when you say it like that I could almost believe you care."

"Oh I care alright cutie. I care about this plan workin'. Wot we're playin' here is treason in me world-if ya fail, we fuckin' die." His watery blue eyes darkened as he mentioned, "But we already know ya don't care."

"Not particularly. But don't fear Jack, I have no intention of failing." Turning towards the door she imparted, "The players on this one go so far beyond you and I. And so with stakes like these we each have to play our parts perfectly to win." A heavy beat passed before she asked in a cool voice, "I'm willing, are you and yours?"

"I'm here, ain't I?" Before she left he threw out, "If I make ya so nervous, how will ya handle Angelus?"

Pausing at the door the girl asked in an even voice, "What makes you think I was nervous?"

"Well for starts, yer heart was beatin' kinda fast. Two, ya stayed by the door." A cruel smile spread across his face as he finished with, "That seems like a recipe for fright ta me."

A tiny chuckle passed her lips, echoing bravely despite the company. "Is that all?"

Crossing his thick arms across his chest he belligerently spat, "It's enough!"

"One, my heart was beating fast from anger-the anger of not dusting you on the spot Jack. Two, I kept close to the door just in case we had company following you."

"An' ya think ya coulda done anythin' ta stop this company?"

An unreadable expression flared in her dark eyes before she evenly replied, "I may not be a Slayer, but I know how to fight too." Tightening her hand on the door she tossed out, "Tell Spike to be on alert this week. If Angelus comes to the Factory, let me know. I'll still be on surveillance."

"When will ya see the Scourge again?"

"By the looks of things, next Sunday."

"Sunday, huh? So we're ta twiddle our thumbs till then?"

"Sure, why not? It's not that much different from what you do now."

" _Listen well Jack-she is not to be touched. Do you hear me? Do_ _ **NOT**_ _eat her."_

With a bit of effort and self-discipline Jack regally nodded his head and stated, "Okay, cutie. Yer words, my creed."

"So you can be a gentle beast when you want to." Opening the door she asked, "Do you want me to leave it open?"

His thick brows drew mightily in a frown as he hissed, "Ya insult me!"

A flicker of understanding shaded her lips before she murmured, "Of course." She then slipped out the door, the metal quietly scraping together as she relocked the door.

Waiting until she far away enough Jack reached out with his senses, checking for danger until he sensed his brothers. Satisfied with the secured perimeter he expertly slipped out the window and into the night.

Seemingly staring out across the crowd Angelus' thoughts were busy. He replayed the scene in Buffy's bedroom, vividly remembering the pain that lashed him without mercy.

Taking a deep drag of nicotine he narrowed his ebony eyes and curiously thought, _So this is what Buffy's love feels like._ Blowing out a thick cloud of smoke he shifted in his seat, the creaking sound of leather barely heard above the raucous din of his ruminations. _All that pain, all that suffering, all that misery-it was all for me._

 _It…was…all…for…ME._

A beautiful smile curved his lips and unholy pleasure blazed in his eyes. _That golden creature has given me a gift without equal._ While in the past he had always understood the pain of others, and had rejoiced in their suffering, he had never felt it first hand.

But tonight, for the first time in his existence, he had.

He had suffered it along with her. Buffy's every tear had been a dagger in his being. Her every sob had been a blow to his mind. Like a fool he had been shaken by it, only thinking to end her pain so it would end his, but now he saw it for the priceless token it really was. _This is what her loves feels like. I want to feel it again._

Standing up Angelus lost all taste for the Cavern as he was inspired to give his mistress a gift for her love. Making his way towards the exit his mind busily came up with one gift, before discarding it for another. _A stuffed vampire? Too lame. Roses? Maybe. Lingerie? Too direct. A car? Too big._

Walking out he prowled towards his car, briefly glancing up at the night sky. The sapphire canopy of the heavens was beautifully sprinkled with twinkling stars, reminding Angelus of diamonds amidst a bed of velvet. _That's it._ A pleased smile quirked his lips as he de-activated the alarm, opened the door, and slid into the leather seat. Driving off he thought, _I'll give it to her tonight._

Buffy's eyes sprang awake, her senses accurately reading the shift in the air. _He's here._ All traces of sleep were gone, her heart pounding with the instinct of duty and protection, giving her the ability to defend her territory-if necessary. Noting the time she realized there was less than an hour before sunrise. _What is he doing here?_ Slowly creeping out of bed she tenderly covered her mother's softly snoring form with the plush comforter. Her steps were close to soundless-just the tiniest creak of the floorboard before the empty silence of a Slayer on the move.

 _Is it payback time?_ Tensing her muscles she warily scanned the darkness, peering into shadows to declare if they were friendly or foe. Reaching out with one hand she carefully pushed her bedroom door open, completely ready to fight her lover-if necessary.

Instead the only trace of Angelus to be found was the alluring scent of his spicy cologne.

Choosing to leave the light off Buffy cautiously walked in, a slight scowl on her face reflecting the confusion within. _I know I felt him so where is he?_ Her hazel eyes soon fell upon the bed and the pile of gaily wrapped presents placed neatly in the center. Buffy's hand crept up her throat, before the tips of her delicately painted fingers rested on parted lips. _This isn't what I expected._

Coming closer her eyes widened with growing amazement. These gifts were for her! Gingerly sitting on the bed she searched for some note or card to explain their existence. There was nothing at all. Sighing softly she ran her hand across a beautifully tied velvet bow adorning a flat, rectangular box. _Should I open them?_ A mischievous light entered her eyes as she immediately answered, _Who are you kidding? Of course you should! Like you'd toss them out._

Those last words soon had Buffy chewing her lip as she pondered why would Angelus send her gifts after tossing HIM out. _What if there's something disgusting in here? Or worse-deadly. He doesn't know about my prophecy, at least I don't think he does. What if this is some sick plot on his part to punish me, by killing me?_

Immediately she put distance between herself and the bed, cautiously running her eyes over the potentially deadly gifts for anything obvious. _What the hell is wrong with me? I'm taking the possibility of Angelus killing me with so much ease._ Looking down in confusion she silently thought, _I don't know what we have here. I do know what we DON'T have and that's trust. There's no trust. Where there's no trust there's no relationship-_

"You're not opening them. Is it the wrapping you don't like or is it me?"

Turning her head slightly Buffy could see Angelus standing by the closed window, hands loosely clasped and posture perfectly correct. Choosing not to face him she carelessly shrugged before softly sighing, "The wrapping's beautiful." _It's madness…what we do is insane. Yet, ending this would be like ripping out my heart and still walking. Impossible._

Deliberately he slowly walked forward, purposely allowing Buffy to hear each of his measured steps. Stopping a hairsbreadth away from his mistress Angelus leaned forward and solemnly whispered, "Then it's me."

Raising her chin Buffy stared blankly ahead. _It's you. It's me. It's the fact that I'm a fucking junkie for you._ Already her body jumped to attention, tightening each silken muscle in treacherous anticipation of his sinful touch. _Sometimes it hurts so much Angelus. But you don' care…_ Her hazel eyes drifted shut when he lightly ran his hands down her arms before linking his long fingers with hers. "Are you still displeased with me?"

Somehow Buffy found the ability to humorlessly chuckle and say, "Displeased? Don't you mean royally-pissed?" _That's right. It's easier to fall back on this than what will never make sense._

Softly kissing the top of her sleep-disheveled head Angelus murmured, "Yes."

 _Don't do this to me. Don't play the part of a better man. Don't make me think it's not just an act, but something real._ She wanted to remain furious. She needed to know that for the first time, SHE had punished HIM. Not like that time last week-

Clenching her eyes shut Buffy's stomach dropped with disgust, sorrowful from the memories graphically assaulting her mind. _I don't want to remember!_

 _ **"You make me suck your cock, swallow your cum, and then you make me beg for it! You make me beg you to beat me! There! I can say it! It's true! I LIKED IT! I'm a whore for you Angelus! I'm a whore because I want more than this from you!"**_

 _ **'THWACK'**_

 _ **'THWACK'**_

 _ **'THWACK'**_

 _ **'THWACK'**_

 _ **"Nothing but a whore!"'**_

Loosening his fingers Angelus wrapped one arm around his lover's tiny waist and crossed the other between her breasts, effectively cocooning Buffy within the immeasurable strength of his hold. "What's wrong? I can hear your heart and it cries out in a river of pain."

Feeling the sting of tears she huskily replied, "Since when do you speak with poetry?"

"Since my lover has blossomed with dark grace and shown me love's true face."

Drawing in a choked breath she questioningly breathed, "Angelus?" _Oh Jesus, don't be like this. If we do this at all, let's go back to the way it was. Let's go back to when you and I hated each other together. I'd rather have the empty lust than this._

"Ssh…ssh." Gently turning Buffy around he solemnly reached out and wiped away the lone tear trailing down her smooth cheek. The mercurial vampire could read the confusion and subtle misery in her captivating hazel eyes, rejoicing that tonight he had been closer to his mistress than at any other time before. _You're so pretty when you cry. I can hear your heartbeat flutter my name._

Cradling her small hands within his much larger ones Angelus softly admitted, "I want to thank you."

Shaking her head slightly she hoarsely asked, "Thank me? For what?" _Don't you fucking do this to me vamp!_

Leaning down he pressed his mouth against hers, enjoying the delightful trembling of her lips. Their kiss was tender, wordlessly demonstrating his adoration of something unknown to her. He still held her hands in his before pulling back. An enigmatic lifted his lips as he murmured, "Thank you, my darling Slayer."

Shallowly breathing Buffy's heart broke with bitter happiness. When Angelus was kind like this, she felt as if she were soaring high above the earth, flung somewhere in the heavens, never to touch the ground and its misery again. _He has so much power over me. God what the fuck have I become? He calls me Slayer as if it's a name he's given to his pet. But isn't that what I am? His pet?_

Ripping her hands away she struggled to keep her voice composed. He couldn't know how she was suffering right now. It was better for him to think she was still pissed about his **endearing** Druscilla comment. Nearly growling she spat, "What the hell are you trying to pull Angelus? Trying to butter me up with pretty words and presents? I told you to get out, I MADE you get out, and you're back!"

Turning away he gracefully walked into the shadows, melding until he stood half-in and half-out. Angelus' darkly handsome face retained a hint of a smile while his eyes burned with secrets and glee. "You did, you did, and I am."

Clenching her fists Buffy didn't know what to make of the vampire's mood. Abruptly her frustrated anger melted away. Giving him her back she studied the lovely pile of presents once more. Softly she asked, "Back then, what did you mean by being my master?"

Several moments of silence dragged by, the air ripe with unspoken speculation.

" _ **Stop it! I only said it because I wanted to know if there could be-"**_

" _ **Be what?"**_

" _ **Be something more!"**_

" _ **Be something more? How can there ever be something more Buff? After all, you're the Slayer and I'm just a vamp, isn't that the right of it? I'm just a nasty vampire that you have to endure between your pure thighs, and given the chance you'd rather put a stake in my heart that keep me in yours."**_

" _ **Goddamn it! You know I love you! What more can you want from me?"**_

" _ **Total acceptance! Total acceptance as your lover and master!"**_

" _ **Master?"**_

" _ **That's right Buff: Master. That's what I desire to be to you."**_

" _ **I'm not a piece of property."**_

" _ **If that's the only way you can see it, then there's nothing left to say."**_

Slowly his somber voice floated through the darkness. "Do you remember how I've told you not to hold anything back from me?"

Still staring at the sapphire and ice blue wrapping paper Buffy nodded her head. "Yes."

"Why do you think I did?"

Humorlessly smiling she immediately replied, "Because you're selfish."

An amused chuckle slipped from his pale lips as he shifted against the wall, the creaking of leather so familiar to Buffy's ears that she knew she'd never forget it. _Why do I even fight myself like this?_

"You're right Baby-I am selfish. I'm also domineering, manic, slightly insane, calculating, and cruel."

The silence was expectant. Not trusting herself to turn around Buffy shrugged her shoulders and flippantly answered, "No argument here."

Pushing off the wall he came forward on graceful feet. Circling her he softly continued with, "But I'm also capable of passion, attentiveness, generosity, and kindness." As expected, her head shot up in disbelief. "Yes Buff, you heard me. Kindness."

"Forgive my shock Angelus, but kindness is not a word I'd apply to you."

Standing next to her he quietly murmured, "But in my dealings with you I have been kind. I've not hurt a single hair on any of those you hold dear to your heart. I've sought to ensure you've found pleasure in my bed. I've never forbidden you to abandon your calling. I've kept our liaison a secret from everyone in your life because of you."

Reaching down to lift a small gold and white box from the bed he silently held it out. It was obvious to Buffy that her acceptance of the gift would be an acceptance of his words. Staring at his pale hand she whispered, "Angelus…what are we?"

"We're us."

"Please tell me." Lifting her haunted hazel eyes to his she unashamedly asked, "No lies. No manipulations. Please just tell me-what are we?"

Still holding the offering in hand he quietly replied, "What do you want me to say Buffy?"

His use of her name sent a jolt of longing through Buffy. The times he said it was so rare and usually so significant to the moment. Sighing deeply she answered, "I want you to tell me if-if-anything's changed for you." _I want to know if you can ever love me. I want to know if it's even possible._ Silently her true question lay dead on her tongue, the courage needed to speak it deserting her.

Reading her emotions clearly Angelus knew what his mistress was really asking. "I'm a demon. You're a Slayer."

Clenching her eyes shut Buffy's shuddered as it came down to that basic difference. Her job was to kill him. Not love him. Not tolerate him. Kill. Him.

His nature was to drain her of every drop of blood. Not fuck her. Not love her. Drain. Her.

"And yet here we are."

Slowly opening her eyes she lifted her wounded gaze up to his. He couldn't love her. And yet he had saved her life twice. He hadn't hurt her friends or family. He never tried to keep her from slaying. He hadn't sent any anonymous letters to Giles bragging about his sexual conquest of her.

And he had brought Heaven down to her with his body.

"Here we are," she softly whispered. _He hasn't answered me directly, but then again, maybe this is his way._ Reaching out with one small hand Buffy accepted the lightweight box. Glancing up at him she noted how his face was expressionless, but his eyes were hooded. Peering through the blank façade she could see how intently he watched her, waiting for her reaction.

Carefully untying the gold satin ribbon she lifted the lid up and saw another smaller white box inside. Looking up at her silent vampire she said, "It's a jewelry box."

Angelus chose to remain silent, not really needing to comment on the obvious.

Turning her attention back to the gift in hand Buffy felt her heart begin to beat faster. Lifting the velvet container out she opened it with hushed anticipation. Inside nestled against a luxurious pile of silk lay a pair of princess-cut sapphire earrings. Delicately running a fingertip over the cool, jeweled surface she sighed in delight and appreciation.

Looking up at him with a brilliant smile she exclaimed, "Oh Angelus, they're so beautiful!"

One corner of his mouth quirked, almost in his trademark smirk but not quite. "These are for us." Meeting her slightly confused frown he clarified, "For when we're together. But not for anyone else to see."

Looking back down Buffy felt a bit of sadness come in and sully her joy. For the first time she wished she could let the world outside know what she felt for him. She wished she could be with him anywhere and not hide who he was to her. Wryly smiling Buffy acknowledged her wishes were futile and impossible to explain to anyone, including herself.

Seeking to banish her darker feelings she abruptly threw her arms about Angelus and buried her face against his chest. Still clutching the box tightly she breathed, "Thank you!"

Tilting her chin up he murmured, "It can be like this always."

Quietly she stood there, curious as to where he would take her. Dimly she knew where this was heading and she knew was ready for it. Not because of his gifts, but because she was ready to stop fighting herself. Intently she listened to the dark poetry he began pouring over her soul.

Tracing the curve of her cheek he fervently declared, "I'd love to spoil you, to lay whatever you wish at your feet. I can do this for you…"

 _But what's the price? What part of myself do I have sell to you?_

Stepping back from her he once more melted into the shadows. "Put the box back with the others."

Hesitating for only a moment Buffy eased towards the bed and gently put her earrings down with the other wrapped gifts. Turning back towards the voice in the darkness she silently awaited.

"It's so easy to let go lover. Did you know that? Once you let go of yourself, that's when you find out who you really are."

"Let go…"

"That's right darling. Letting go of all responsibility, guilt, and inhibitions. To shed yourself of that distasteful burden would give you freedom beyond compare."

Closing her fists Buffy felt her palms become sweaty while her veins became flooded with nervous excitement.

"I'm going to be kind to you Buffy. I'm going to give you a choice. Are you ready?"

"Yes." Her one word was hardly more than a husky whisper, but Angelus heard it as clearly as if she had sauntered to him and spoken it sweetly against his ear.

"You can be free. You can have the freedom of allowing me to take all the burdens from your shoulders onto mine when we're alone. I can show you another world where this life does not exist. I can let you feel on a level that we haven't even touched yet. I can do this for you lover, but only if you accept it and me completely."

Several seconds drifted by in silence, the air pregnant with the next turn of Buffy's life. "As lover and master?"

A tiny smile flitted across his face. "Lover and master." Loosely clasping his hands together Angelus continued with, "If you don't want this, understand that I will never bring it up again. We will continue as we were before. But also understand that what we are will stay where we are."

="" i=""Lifting her head up Buffy stared Angelus straight in the eyes and answered, "I want to try this."

He immediately uttered a "tsking" sound. "There is no trial period involved Buff. You're either all the way in or not at all." Answering her unspoken question he explained, "As long as you feel you have a way out, you won't allow yourself to commit fully. You'll fight what you don't understand and dismiss the lesson completely."

"Lesson?"

"Yes, lesson. I'll be teaching you a new way of life." _As I have been._ "One you don't find out about through books or porn. At least not completely." Even through the darkness Buffy could see his hands lift in the air slightly, emphasizing what his words. "In order to learn this world you have to give over to it completely."

She dropped her gaze briefly, debating on the wisdom of this course. No! She wasn't going to be afraid of her emotions, not about him. "Alright. I want in completely." _I want to see life through your eyes lover. I want to taste another side of you. I want the freedom that comes with loving you completely._

"There's no going back from here on out." He allowed the weight of that statement sink in before he softly stated, "Last chance Buff."

"Show me."

A wide smile slowly grew upon his flawless face. "Get down on your knees."

Meeting his gaze with her own determined one Buffy sank down, distantly feeling the coldness of the floor seep through the thin material of her pajamas.

"Good. Now I want you to crawl to me on your pretty hands and knees."

Swallowing thickly Buffy felt the struggle of her sane and rational self. It shouted, "What are you THINKING?! If you do this you're setting back the Women's Movement, plus being a horrible Slayer! No self-respecting woman would do this!"

 _Shut-up. You don't understand. I WANT to do this. So shut-up._

Easing forward she placed her hands down, still refusing to break contact with the shadows that held Angelus. Slowly she made her way across the small space, noting it was uncomfortable to crawl, but nowhere near to being painful.

Each combined step forward numbed her mind to all outside thoughts. The time, school, Giles, Willow, Xander-it all faded away. Only the sight of Angelus' long, leather-clad legs kept her focus. Soon she reached him and without being told she brushed her lips against his knee.

Squatting down Angelus softly whispered, "Very good darling. Very good." Without giving her a chance to reply he hungrily kissed her mouth, darting his tongue inside the warm cavern of his mistress' kiss. It made him so fucking hard to watch her crawl for him. He could've easily ripped her clothes off and took her on the floor, but he had held his hungers in check. _I must retain control in order to guide her. I won't be a sloppy master to my little Slayer._

Crawling onto his lap Buffy dug her fingers into his shoulders, delightfully mewling against his mouth. He was right-she hadn't felt this free in so long. Once she put her pride aside and accepted what she wanted, it was liberating. There were no walls and no lies to hide behind.

THIS was what was real.

Suddenly time came rushing back to her, callously puncturing a hole in her sphere of newfound joy. _I don't have much time left. The clock is ticking._ Without thought she whimpered against his mouth, "I'm going to miss you so much."

Stilling he abruptly pulled away and demanded, "What did you say?"

Panting with need she attempted to kiss once more before being sharply slapped on the bottom. "When I ask you a question, you will answer it honestly and quickly." Satisfied she understood Angelus asked again, "What did you mean by that?"

Staring into his hard face Buffy instantly thought, _Maybe now's the time to tell him. Maybe he can even help me fight this._ The words were stuck in her mouth, almost ready to spill when she remembered Giles. _Angelus might go to him over this. And if Giles finds out what I've been doing, he'd be crushed. Not only would he see it as a betrayal to him, but he'd also blame himself. Even though I made the choice, he'd see it as his mistake. I can't do that._

Knowing Angelus hated her lying to him, Buffy found a way to be honest without being completely so. "Eventually it's going to end."

 _What the fuck?!_ Boring his dark eyes into hers he emotionlessly asked, "Why?"

Looking away she quietly answered, "Because I'm going to die. Slayers don't last long and my time will be coming." _Soon._

A tear rolled down her face, instantly catching his attention. Morbidly he watched it slide down her smooth cheek, it's mere existence proof that she was indeed alive. _Vampires can't cry, but she can-for now._

Something inside Angelus exploded upon thinking those words. Shoving Buffy to the ground he clenched his hands in her sleep-shirt and cleanly ripped it off her body. He ruthlessly ignored the fear clouding her eyes while he continued his task, knowing it had nothing to do with his actions but rather her words. Within seconds Angelus had her completely naked and bare to his dangerous gaze.

Leaning up against her elbows she almost demanded, "What do you think you're doing?" Instead Buffy immediately froze in transfixed fascination as he pinned her with his feral golden gaze. Without a word Angels pressed his face between her legs and began to quickly lick the warm flesh, apparently not with the intention of bringing her to orgasm.

Sighing in pleasure Buffy relaxed her legs, allowing them to fall limply to the sides. _I didn't tell him. I didn't tell him I only have weeks left._ Although she tried to stop her tears they steadily kept flowing, bathing her skin with a salty reminder of what was to come.

Ignorant to her thoughts Angelus concentrated on the sweet flesh eagerly meeting his tongue and lips. Reaching down he freed himself from the confines of the tight leather. His cock was already rigid and thick, ready to sink into Buffy's willing body. Once she was wet enough he steadied himself above her and growled, "Put me in."

With a trembling hand she wrapped her fingers around his cool length and tilted her hips up. Placing the tip of him against her, she sighed in instant gratification at the sensation of Angelus entering her.

And still the tears kept flowing…

Clenching his jaw tight he almost groaned out loud at the feeling of Buffy's silken pussy closing around him. Beginning a slow, steady rhythm he watched every nuance of her pleasure-filled face. He watched as her brow furrowed and her mouth opened slightly, small pants of air reaching out and delicately brushing against his chest.

Arching up Buffy drew her legs up around his hips. Wrapping her hands around his wrists she looked down and watched in erotic fascination at the picture they were making. Her curls were dark with his mouth and her desire, while his thick shaft glistened wetly from them both. Fixated her eyes grew heavy from the increasing delicious friction centered where they were joined, but she refused to close them. Buffy needed to see this, it was the most important sight in the world to her.

Even though her view was blurry most of the time, she kept watching…

The constant tears streaming down her face angered Angelus, proving the truth of her words to him. _No goddamnit! I decide when and if she dies, not her fucking calling. Me!_

Laying down on her Angelus rearranged Buffy's arms so that they were above her head. His fingers gently dug into the soft flesh of her wrists as his mouth swooped down to kiss hers. Thrusting his tongue deep the way she liked it he was immediately rewarded with her groan of delight.

But even still he could feel the hot splash of tears against his cool flesh…

"Stop crying," he growled, the words muffled between their lips. Latching his mouth against her neck Angelus expertly kissed and nibbled the smooth skin, determined that her passion would overpower her grief. He could feel her arms arch against his hand, her wrists writhing with the desire to be free.

"Please Angelus…let me touch you…please!"

His smile was filled with lust and hunger at the sound of her pained voice. Buffy could be free if she wished it, but instead she begged him to release her.

Even through her tears of misery she begged him…

Releasing her hands he dragged her up until they were both sitting up on their knees. Draped across him Buffy moaned aloud at the sensation of Angelus sinking deeper. Starting a rocking motion she quickly sank up and down on him, embracing his broad back while he dug his fingers into her hips. The leather felt cold because of his cool body, reminding Buffy of what she would soon feel like.

A sob broke free from her, before she could clench her mouth shut.

Firmly cupping her cheeks with his palms Angelus forced her to look at him. Through the tears she could see his expression barely contained the fury lurking beneath. Bringing his mouth to hers he gravelly commanded, "Stop fucking crying!" ="" i=""The harshness of his words belied the gentleness of his lips, as he softly tasted her trembling mouth.

Despite his words the tears kept flowing…

Buffy's hands gripped the collar of his duster before running her hands across his shoulders. Pushing down the leather she desperately needed to feel his naked skin against hers. Sliding it off halfway she then ripped open his shirt, the " **ping** " of several buttons hitting the floor nearly indiscernible amidst the pants and growls of their combined passion.

Raking her fingers across his flawless chest Buffy ducked her head to place several kisses across his skin only to be stopped by Angelus. Pulling back from his intoxicating kiss she moaned, "Please…"

 _How can I resist that one word from you?_ His hungered eyes briefly dropped from hers before he released his hold of her face and instead ran his hand up to her head. Clenching his long fingers in her soft hair he groaned at the sensation of her small mouth traveling across his neck and shoulder. His hips worked against hers, thrusting faster and faster until he could feel the delicate trembling within Buffy, signaling her release was approaching.

And yet her damnable tears still poured forth, coating the skin over his dead heart…

Pulling her head back Angelus stared into her eyes, seeking to look down into her soul. She never cried like this before. The grief she was expressing was beyond the petty cruelties he had baited her with in the past. It was far more complex than the night he had defiled her. It was different from the pain of Dru. This was deeper.

Peering into the battered hazel orbs he could see the hopeless inevitability crowding in on her present lust. No matter how hard he tried to reach into her emotions, he couldn't connect. Their bond was useless, stubbornly keeping her from him. Sliding his hands around her face again Angelus growled in frustration, "Why won't you stop crying," never ceasing his deep thrusts.

Instead of answering him Buffy settled her hands around his neck and let her head fall back. She couldn't halt the tears seeping from beneath her tightly closed lids, just as she couldn't stop the sadness permeating her every breath. _I don't want to die. I don't!_ Grinding her hips against him she clung to the growing spark igniting below. Biting her lip she chased after instant carnal gratification, needing to hold earthly pleasures close to heart before it stopped beating.

Staring down at the lovely line of her exposed neck Angelus suppressed the ruthless hunger demanding he partake of their crimson feast. _Not now. Not like this._ He could sense Buffy was getting close by the concentrated movements of her hips, and so he bent down to roughly bite a hardened nipple to bring her across. A muffled shriek quickly echoed in his ears before he heard her sweetly rasping voice.

"Angelus! Yes, oh yes! Oh…yeah."

Releasing her hair he waited until she bonelessly collapsed against him, her soft body obviously satiated from their passion. Wrapping his arms tightly about her small frame, he roughly brought Buffy down against his upward thrusts. Within seconds he heard his lover's small moans of passion fill the air as her hands clenched themselves in his torn shirt.

But instead of her tears stopping they became full-fledged sobs…

Biting her lips to stifle her crying Buffy's thoughts revolved around one sentence: _I don't want to die. I don't this to end! Not before I get a chance to make this right!_ Even as her heart mourned death, her womb pulsed with the possibility of life, not knowing that Angelus' seed was as dead as her body would be.

 _Why am I thinking about this now?! I don't want to think about it!_

Feeling the familiar burn Buffy clenched her thighs around his, seeking to create even more friction and pressure.

"Smile for me Baby. Stop crying and smile for me." The words, though sweet, were barked into her ear. Despite her own misery she could hear frustration, confusion, and something else in his voice. Looking up at him through her tears she made a pathetic attempt, yet it only looked like a broken, watery grimace.

 _I've never fucking seen her like this! I don't FUCKING like it!_ Bringing his mouth to hers he harshly whispered, "Don't cry over something so stupid Buff. I'm not going to let you die as a Slayer!"

A bittersweet motion lifted her lips as she gasped, "There's nothing you can do-"

"Bullshit!" Driving into her with demonic force Angelus centered his helplessness into his cock, knowing this was something he could control. _I can still control her. I can still control her world. Nothing is going to take her from me. If she dies it will be by me, not anyone else._

Dropping her head against his neck Buffy mewled with equal parts passion and devastation. _I can't keep it inside me. I have to tell. I'll figure out a way to keep it from Giles, but I can't carry this anymore._ "You don't understand, I know it's going to happen-"

Sharply yanking her head back Angelus' face shifted, leaving Buffy to see him at his most primal state. "Shut up! Shut the fuck up!"

Instinctively Buffy pushed away from him, disturbed by the murderous rage pulsing in his eyes. "Angelus, you don't understand-"

Ignoring her he ruthlessly spat, "The hell I don't understand! You're my goddamned whore and that's the way it fucking is! Did I already prove it two nights ago in L.A.? You belong to ME first, not to THEM!" Before she could utter another sound Angelus sank his sharp teeth into her neck.

The world exploded leaving Buffy and her lover as the only two occupants. The euphoric rush hit both of them at the same time, as their bodies suffered the exquisite death of intimate release. She could feel her blood rush out and meet Angelus' lips and tongue, even as she could feel his cold seed burst forth and coat her insides with his mark.

Coming down by degrees she dimly registered that her eyes still wept salty tears, although their fall was diminishing. Settling against him Buffy could feel Angelus flex once inside her and then still his body. _He called me his whore-definitely not romantic-but everything else…I don't know._

Reaching down with one finger Angelus gently tipped her chin back, coaxing her to look up into his dark gaze. Instantly she saw his continence revert back to the eternally handsome façade of humanity. Wiping the moisture from her face Angelus coldly stated, "We're in this together now. You've belonged to me from the beginning, but now…" Abruptly he let his words trail away, leaving Buffy curious.

"Now what?"

After another moment of heavy silence he finished with, "Now you've accepted me as your Master. Have you not?"

Slowly nodding her head Buffy's mind reeled with what her acceptance could possibly mean, but whatever it was, she had committed to it. _As long as it only affects me, I don't care. I want his love. I want to show him mine. I want it to be more than it is now. And I know it can be._

"Now you're mine Buffy-body and soul. And what I have, I keep."

The supreme confidence in his voice made her smile, albeit sadly. "By me agreeing with this, what does that make me? A slave? A thing? What?"

 _You should've asked before Buff, because it makes you all those things. That and so much more._ Brushing back a wayward lock of blonde hair Angelus softly answered, "It makes you free, Slayer. Free from yourself and free from the world."

 _Even so I'm a possession and things are made to be broken._ Leaning into his hand Buffy whispered in return, "I want to make you understand-"

"If this is about you dying I believe I've already told you to shut-up about it. Nothing is going to kill you. I'm here now and while Angel may have been a pussy and let you walk to your fucking doom, I'm not fucking him! Got it?"

Sadly she nodded her head, knowing that in this too she would have to keep it a secret. Whereas before she would've shared it with him, now she understood Angelus didn't want to hear about her demise. Why? _Is this because he cares?_

Finally the tears stopped, retreating to a time when they could fall freely once more…

Taking a deep, cleansing breath Buffy wiped her eyes and sniffled once before brilliantly smiling. _He might not admit it yet, but I know it's because he cares. If he didn't he wouldn't be so furious. If he didn't care he would've left me in L.A. But he didn't._

"That's better," Angelus stated gruffly, clutching Buffy tightly against his body.

Nuzzling her lips against his neck she sleepily murmured, "Glad you approve." Before she drifted off she abruptly sat up and asked, "Does this mean I have to call you Master and stuff?"

Smirking down at her he answered, "Every now and then."

An impish smile twisted her mouth as she then asked, "Do I get to be Master sometimes? Or would that be Mistress?"

Lazily tracing his fingers across her back he let out a short bark of laughter. "Ha! Dream on sweetie."

 _Somehow I'm not surprised._ Leaning her head against his chest she pouted, "That's hardly fair."

Arrogantly he snorted, "Since when am I fair?" Easily lifting her up Angelus walked towards the bed and carefully placed her under the warm comforter and sheets.

Snuggling further Buffy remembered the prettily wrapped gifts still on the bed. "What about my presents?"

"They'll still be here after school." Picking them up he walked towards her closet and hid them within.

Tiredly blinking she softly mentioned, "Don't you want me to open them now?"

Originally he had, but now he needed time to think. While he'd rather be stripped of all his flesh and staked out in the sun before he'd admit it, the truth was that Buffy's fears disturbed something deep inside of himself. "If I did, you would be. Now go to sleep."

She yawned widely before impishly smiling, "Yes Master." _Things are definitely changing between us. If he said that to me two weeks ago my feelings would've been hurt and I'd probably be calling him an asshole. And now…well…it's different._

Sitting next to her Angelus ruffled her hair before saying, "Brat."

There was no heat in his word and to Buffy's ears it was like he called her sweetheart. "Bully."

"Bitch."

Softly chuckling she sighed, "I love you."

 _But why? Why would you love me?_ Staring down into her beautiful face Angelus attempted to put a name to his unease. Was it fear? _Bullshit! I fear nothing._ Closing his eyes in sudden weariness he was tempted to lay his body next to hers and fall into sleep. _No I can't stay here with her. I need distance to figure this out._

Before she drifted off into sleep she heard him shift in the bed before complaining, "Well there goes another pair of pants."

Keeping her eyes closed she mumbled, "What do you mean?"

In a disgruntled voice he answered, "There's pussy juice all over my crotch."

Wrapping her arms around the pillow beneath her head she tiredly stated, "You could've pulled them down further, but you didn't. Besides, leather isn't that delicate. Why else do you wear them?"

Squeezing her shoulder slightly, Angelus' mouth lifted in a smirk. "Go to sleep lover."

"Already there." Breathing evenly she lay there silently, apparently off in Sleep's grasp.

Standing up Angelus stood by her bedside for a minute before turning away. Reaching the door he heard her softly ask, "Why did you come by to thank me? What did I do?"

Glancing back at her over his shoulder he immediately thought, _I'm not sure anymore._ Shelving his uncertainty away he arrogantly answered, "Maybe I'll tell you another time. Now go to sleep!"

The quiet sounds of Buffy's breathing met him, signifying that she was already there.

 _Little girl, how things have evolved between you and I. But how will it end? Will it end with a smile of Life…or Death?_

And with that final thought Angelus soundlessly walked out the door and out into the night.


	29. Chapter 29

"Well we then went to a coffee shop, but ended up drinking some soda. Ooh! And did you know that Oz thinks that Latin is VERY cool?"

Casually walking down the hall Buffy was intently listening to Willow's tale of her first "post-Xander-doesn't-love-me-and-although-he's-stupid-for-it-I-forgive-him-date." Nodding she warmly replied, "That's because he's VERY cool."

With a big grin she stated, "Yep. It's official: Oz est cool."

Stopping at her locker Buffy quickly spun the combination for her lock, opened the sturdy metal door, and shoved her books in. Stretching to reach her gym bag she looked over her shoulder and meaningfully asked, "So?"

A light blush dusted Willow's fair skin. "Umm…so." Softly stammering she found the notebook in her hand fascinating. "So is just such a big step. I mean it's SO."

Setting the bag on the floor Buffy impishly grinned and said, "But I think it's time for So." Cutting Willow off from denial she cheekily emphasized, "You two have been spending a lot of time together. First it's research, then it's Bronzing, now it's Latin. Face it Will: it is so time for So."

A very flustered redhead was saved from replying by mentioning, "Hey don't forget we have a test in history tomorrow."

Good naturedly groaning Buffy reopened her locker and pulled said text out along with its accompanying notebook. "What is that about? I mean we just got back from a break. Who does that?" Frowning deeply she stared off and muttered, "Only a teacher who lives on the Hellmouth. Doesn't the evil here have no boundaries?"

Keeping their conversation off the delicate subject of "So" Willow curiously asked, "How did you do on the last test?" Sensitive that Buffy's grades weren't the greatest she clarified her question with, "Did you pass it?"

Spinning the dial on the closed locker she nodded her head and bent down to pick up the black gym bag.

A wide smile brightened her face as Willow enthusiastically cried, "That's great Buffy!"

Wanting to share her grade but suddenly feeling shy she simply murmured, "Thanks," and stood up. Walking down the hall towards the library in companionable silence she found that readjusting to school life was going smoother than she expected, in spite of the night before.

Unaware of the soft smile playing about the corners of her mouth Buffy felt the sensuous slide of gold and sapphires against her bare skin. Although she had only owned them for a few days she already took comfort in their presence. Through his gift Angelus was with her, the precious jewels an extension of his intoxicating and private caress. Private. Theirs was a relationship resting on secrecy and cover. Just like her chains.

No one knew they were there and they wouldn't.

Before leaving for school Buffy took special care with her exercise clothes by making sure she traded the form fitting Lycra with an ordinary cotton shirt and shorts. It was another thing she had to be on the lookout for, but it was one burden she didn't mind at all.

Pushing open the library doors she was immediately met by, "Buffy! Willow! What took you so long?"

"Huh? What do you mean Cordelia? It's only," looking up at the wall clock she stated, "3:40."

"Yeah! And school let out twenty minutes ago." Crossing her arms with a barely concealed huff she tapped her foot impatiently and crossly complained, "And we've been waiting here since 3:22."

Lifting his arms in a stretch Xander comfortably laced them behind his head and added, "You know I don't mind the wait," immediately earning a scowl from his girlfriend. Hastily he added, "But Cordy here really has to make it to the mall by 4:00." Seeing that she still was not appeased he quickly said, "Because she has to buy so many pretty things to match her pretty face." If anything the brunette girl's frown deepened.

Knowing he was in a hole he had no hope of climbing out of, Xander valiantly kept reaching. Leaning closer to her he laid his hand on her cold shoulder. "Not that she needs those things, because she's so pretty without them. No not pretty. Beautiful. Yes, beautiful. My girlfriend Cordelia Chase is beautiful." Looking down he heavily sighed and pitifully ended with, "Yep. She's a hottie."

Buffy set her bag on the front counter and dryly pointed out, "As nice as it is to have your cheerful presence here Cordelia, if you have more important things to do…"

Rolling her eyes she snorted and exclaimed, "Well, duh! Of course I have more important things to do than hang out in a badly decorated place filled with moldy books, but I'm here because of a higher calling."

"Like what? To teach us that patience is a virtue?" Willow's mutter was barely discernable above the muffled tapping of the brunette's heel, but Buffy heard it clearly. Her good humor was instantly restored. The irritation with Cordelia vanished as she was reminded of the times Angelus had used those words on her. A gentle smile tugged her lips again and her gaze softened with love. _I wonder if I got his nerves as badly as she's gotten on mine. I hope not because then I'd REALLY deserve his spiel._

"What's your deal?"

The shrill voice unpleasantly cut through Buffy's fond memories, bringing her back into the present. Feeling the edges of annoyance curl up again she arched her brow and snapped, "What?"

Shaking off Xander's hand Cordelia stood up and came around the table. Crossing her arms she accused, "You've got the goofy 'I'm so in love' look." A sincere note of censure colored her voice as she asked in disbelief, "Don't tell me you've already forgotten about Angel and moved on?"

Buffy's face blanched at the raw truth of those words. While she hadn't forgotten Angel at all, in truth she had moved on to someone else. Angelus.

Joining his girlfriend Xander quietly said, "That was completely uncalled for Cordelia."

Not bothering to look at him she huffily replied, "Was not."

Moving to stand in front of her he waited until he had her disgruntled attention. In an uncharacteristically hard voice Xander repeated, "That was COMPLETELY uncalled for Cordelia. You've done some bitchy things before, but this goes beyond the limits." Ignoring her gasp of outrage he continued, "What Buffy feels for Angel isn't as shallow as going to the mall on the slow days, going to Starbucks two towns over, or sitting in the back of a movie so you can get out before anyone sees you."

Looking over his shoulder he caught Buffy's surprised stare and firmly finished with, "I may have had my own issues with their relationship, but one thing I know now is that she loves him. What she feels for him hasn't changed just because a monster has taken over. If anything it's stronger because of what she's going to have to do."

Ignoring their captive audience Cordelia swallowed a few times before softly saying, "Xander…I can't believe you…"

Turning back to her he stated, "It's true." A shimmer of hurt shined in unusually serious eyes, wordlessly communicating the alternate message given in defense of his friend. "So I think you should apologize. Now."

A mutinous expression crossed her pretty face before it slid away. Taking a deep breath she quietly murmured, "I'm sorry. Xander's right-it really was a beyond bitch to say that. We all know that you wouldn't move on. I'm sorry."

Pasting a gracious smile on her face Buffy forced her throat to unlock and say, "It's okay." Grabbing her bag she casually tossed out, "I've got to go change before Giles comes out. I'll be back." Not waiting for any answer she nonchalantly strolled towards the back of the library, forcing the useless tears in her eyes to recede. _I haven't forgotten him. I haven't. It's just that I love the other one too. Just because I love both, doesn't mean that I love Angel less, does it?_

Unconsciously her hearing sharpened, the voices of her friends coming to her with crystal clarity.

"Xander's right Cordelia: how could you even think that Buffy would ever forget Angel?" While Willow's voice was barely louder than her normal tone, the censure lacing each word was loud and clear.

"Look I already apologized! I don't need you coming down on me either."

Not finished with her upbraiding she shot back with, "But God, why would you even say that?"

Cordelia's voice dropped and became sullen. "I don't know. Maybe because she had this look on her face."

Buffy could imagine Willow's frown as she asked, "A look? She deserved your nastiness because of a look?"

Spirit returned to Cordelia's voice as she hotly defended herself. "It wasn't JUST a look. It was the kind of look that you get when you think no one sees you." A moment of silence met Buffy's ears before she heard, "It's the kind of look a girl gets when she thinks about the guy she loves. The kind that she might not show him or anyone else because she's scared the world won't understand."

Swallowing thickly Buffy leaned up against the wall, distantly shocked at the shallow girl's perceptiveness. Forcing her ears to close off their sensitivity she efficiently stripped off her clothes, refusing to look at the pagan jewels boldly proclaiming their ownership. As if knowing her intent, the gold links silkily slid about her waist and thigh, tinkling with reproach.

Quickly slipping on the gym clothes she refused to think about it, refused to think about how close Cordelia hit with her remarks. _This is where I'm at now. I'll never be able to explain to them about us. If they could even get past betrayal, they wouldn't understand how I could love them both._ Tying back her hair Buffy's eyes took on a hard gleam. _It's too late to go back now. I started this for one reason, but I'm going to let it go on for another. Let them think what they need to; in the end it's best for all of us. Let them think I'm the person they've created. They never need to know the truth._

Shoving her feet into her shoes Buffy swiftly laced them and was ready to join the group. Striding in with a bounce to her step she ignored the tense silence, only bothering to say, "It's over guys. Let's move on. If we have to group hug, then fine, but there's more important stuff going on here than mall love versus real love."

"Buffy!" Taking note of her clothing Giles approvingly murmured, "I'm glad you're, umm, ready to train. Of course you do realize we will be increasing the intensity of your workout." Oblivious to the heavy silence in the room the Watcher briskly came around the librarian desk, arms laden with several texts.

Absently looking down at one particular tome the unnatural stillness seemed to finally dawn on him. Flicking his eyes upward Giles cleared his throat and asked, "Ah…is there something here I missed?"

Without giving anyone else a chance to confirm or deny Buffy merely shrugged her shoulders and replied, "Normal teenage angst."

"Umm…well good then." Setting his heavy load down the Watcher briskly cleared his throat and murmured, "It seems that a progress report is in order here." Including all fresh, four faces in his intent scan he noticed their missing member. "Where's Oz?"

Willow immediately piped up with, "Oh he's out with the Dingoes and so he's going to be late today." Proudly she explained, "He's hosting a ground-breaking meeting about how practice can actually improve talent."

Nodding his head Giles mumbled, "Fascinating." Clapping his hands once he came forward and announced, "I have good news."

Raising his hands in the air Xander shouted, "Finally!" Instantly stilling in his joy he cocked an eyebrow and suspiciously asked, "Good news is good news, right? There's not a Hellmouthian-twist, is there? Like good news being a plague versus Armageddon?"

Crossing her arms Cordelia sagely nodded and put in, "Good point."

Flashing a lopsided grin her boyfriend said in appreciation, "Thanks Cordy," and earned a small, but warm smile from said girl. The light in her dark eyes admitted to hoping he understood that she would support him, even if she couldn't come through on other fronts yet.

Rubbing his chin Giles glanced at his Slayer, gauging her reaction to the banter being relayed. The suppressed excitement he expected was absent, only a polite smile curving her lips indicated she was paying attention. "Actually, my news still fits the universal definition." Pausing for dramatic effect he held in his breath and exhaled, "Buffy has grown as a Slayer."

The jubilation he anticipated was virtually non-existent. Even Willow, the one person he could count on for joy factor, merely stared at him perplexed.

Finally Xander broke the silence. "Gee there Giles, when you said good I expected something…more…well, MORE."

Frowning in true consternation he asked, "What do you mean? This is fantastic news."

"Yeah, but I mean if she's grown, it can't be more than an inch."

Sighing in exasperation the Watcher exclaimed, "I don't mean in size! I mean in physical strength and mobility!"

"Oh! Oh…well, yeah, that's an awesome goody," Willow cheerfully stated, dutifully bringing the J-Factor.

Narrowing her eyes Cordelia intently stared at Buffy, her gaze thoroughly roving across the girl's form top to bottom. Turning towards Giles she commented, "As much as I wish I could say her thighs have gotten clunky with muscle, I don't see it."

"Gee thanks Cordelia. You're always an inspiration for the fit," the Slayer sarcastically quipped.

Without missing a beat she shot back with, "Anytime."

Chuckling Xander included everyone in his gaze and said, "Hey I knew that." Not hearing anything in return he qualified his statement with, "I knew Giles didn't literally mean size."

Turning to Buffy Willow curiously asked, "Did you know about this Buffy?"

 _For some time._ Shaking her head she convincingly replied, "Not really. I didn't know until Giles pointed it out last week."

"Why didn't you say anything on the phone?"

Shrugging she smiled and explained, "I don't know. It just would've seemed like bragging. 'Oh Willow, you know how I'm already like the Chosen One? Well guess what? I've gotten stronger too. So how are you doing in P.E.?'

Sagely nodding her head she murmured, "Yeah, I get your point."

"Seriously guys-I knew what he meant."

Relieving Xander of his embarrassment Buffy smiled and wryly said, "I know. You were just joking right?"

"YES! Joking, yes!" Grinning at the other three Xander triumphantly crowed, "See she gets it!"

"Either that or she pities you. Dumb ass," Cordelia dryly commented, earning a disgruntled frown from her boyfriend.

"Yes, well, on to other news." Once again pausing he seemed at a loss for how to put the next big bit of information into words. Sensing the importance of his thoughts the others leaned forward imperceptibly, their eyes trained on the Watcher's every movement. "I'm afraid I don't know quite how to put this except bluntly." Again silence followed his softly spoken statement, this time putting the others on distinct edge.

"Giles, this is starting to seem like the opposite of good news," Buffy tactfully supplied, valiantly trying to ignore the tension settling in her stomach. _What is keeping him from talking?_

Shaken from his private ruminations he shook his head once, took a deep breath, and stated: "Acrymydion is no longer a threat." Silently he expected for another repeat performance from before and was instead met with a cacophony of shrill questions.

"Oh my God! I wish Oz was here! Are you sure?"

"Now this is good news! This is still within the definitions of good news, right?"

"The prophecy was bogus? I knew it. I just knew it! C'mon I know she's the Slayer, but don't demons have anything ELSE to do besides 'Grrr…kill Buffy'?"

Steadily staring into her Watcher's eyes Buffy swallowed several times, refusing to let her tears flow. 'Can it really be over this quickly?' Her one softly spoken question deftly cut through the noise, effectively silencing everyone. "How do you know?"

Coming forward Giles answered, "Because Ms. Calendar and I found a loophole."

"Loophole? I didn't know prophecies had those," Willow curiously supplied.

Turning towards the young redhead he replied, "They all do. It's just a matter of finding out how."

Listening in growing amazement Buffy slowly asked, "And you two found it?"

Nodding in restrained excitement Giles said, "We did."

A small smile curved her lips, the sparkle in her hazel eyes changed from astonishment to suppressed euphoria. "And because of the loophole I'm out?"

"Yes."

"You're sure?"

Placing his hands on her shoulders the Watcher gently squeezed, the joy in his heart effortlessly flowing into his charge. "Absolutely."

Gazing at the happy faces surrounding her Buffy suddenly let out a whoop of exhilaration. Immediately three pairs of arms enfolded the tiny blonde, nearly crushing her with happiness.

Standing back and watching the teenagers' display of triumphant elation Giles felt his eyes moisten. The decision to without his information until now was the right one. There was no way he could've told them Acrymydion was neutralized only to have the Council come back with regretful apologies.

Pulling away from the crowd of females Xander called out, "Giles! Why didn't tell us this first?"

Seeing four pairs of curious eyes focus on him he cleared his throat and stammered, "Well, umm, it just would've, umm, seemed…anti-climatic."

Nodding his head the boy replied, "Gotcha," and returned back to the amiable love-fest.

Turning to her Watcher with arms around her friends Buffy breathlessly asked, "Did I do something to void this baddie out?"

An image of his correspondence flashed in Giles' mind:

 _ **Your findings regarding A are correct. Your charge is no longer in a situation of compromise. Inform interested party, but do not offer privileged details.**_

Immediately smiling in his awkward fashion the Watcher merely replied, "Not necessarily. Acrymydion was going to be called to correct an imbalance. With the offending imbalance gone, the prophecy was no longer in effect."

"And that's it?" Broadly smiling Willow gleefully exclaimed, "Now if the rest of the Hellmouth was this easy, it wouldn't be a Hellmouth anymore!"

"True enough!" was the chorus that greeted the hacker's observation.

Watching his Slayer's exuberant face Giles noted that he hadn't seen this amount of joy since Angel. _She deserves this, especially after losing him._ The sound of her unfettered brought a pained thud to his chest. _Thank God we found a way to keep her safe, even if she didn't know it at the time._

Briskly rubbing his hands together the Watcher drew everyone's attention again. "Alright children Buffy and I need to move on to my first piece of good news. Training."

Reluctantly breaking off their hugs everyone took several laughing breaths, while more than one pair of damp eyes were wiped. "Yeah, well it's about 4 o'clock so Cordy and I have a date with her father's credit card."

"If you didn't have Slayer stuff to do I'd stick around, but since you do-I think a post-good-news shopping spree is a wonderful way to celebrate."

"Speaking of parties, why don't we get together tonight at the Bronze?"

"No objections here Will. How about 8:30?" Playfully frowning Buffy added, "That is if Giles will be done with me."

Seeing her expectant face the Watcher cleared his throat and stated, "Oh of course. Although I don't see why you'd rather celebrate at the Bronze rather than explore your newfound skills through training."

A slew of comically horrified faces turned toward him, shocked that he would be so blasé. A wry smile played about his stoic British face for a second before he cried, "Just joking!"

 _The fates were on our side Buffy. You staying at home that night and having no contact with any of us kept you safe. Our gift to you was ignorance and through it you made the correct choice._

Maybe one day he'd tell her of how staying home that one night had, in essence, lengthened her existence as a Slayer. Maybe.

"Giles! You DO have a sense of humor!" Slapping the older man on the shoulder Xander leaned closer and mentioned, "Now all you have to do is drop the ties and man-you're in."

Pulling her boyfriend by the arm Cordelia muttered, "Don't give him false hope, sweetie. That would just be cruel."

Gaping at the couple the dignified Watcher exclaimed, "I will have you know that I am standing right here!"

"Of course you are Giles." And with those parting words Cordelia ushered Xander out of the library with only one destination in sight: Sunnydale Mall.

Looking at the still-swinging doors he muttered, "I'll have them know that my apparel is quite up to snuff." Turning to his Slayer Giles held his tie up and asked, "Buffy there isn't anything wrong with my ties, is there?"

Giving a pained smile she briefly glanced at the model in his hand before shaking her head emphatically. "Absolutely not! I mean, c'mon…any Watcher would give his, umm…Watcher-thingie to have one." Glancing over her shoulder she widened her smile and murmured, "Right Willow?"

"Huh? Oh yeah! I mean, c'mon."

Studying their bright and earnest faces for a few seconds he finally murmured, "Hmm. I suppose you both are quite right. I'm not sure how I could have doubted it." Elegantly tilting his head Giles quietly said, "Thank you."

In unison both girls quickly answered, "You're welcome."

Arching his brow slightly the Watcher silently thought, _Now that sounded a little too forced. Could my ties really be that appalling?_ Looking down at the sturdy silk blend in his hand he shook his head. _Of course not! That child Cordelia obviously has me flustered for no reason at all. Besides, she may have a small amount of wealth, but that hardly qualifies her for good taste._

Appeased by his thoughts Giles smoothed his beloved tie down before clapping his hands lightly. "Alright Buffy-enough dawdling. If we are to cover the necessary disciplines, we must begin now."

Looking over at her friend said dawdler raised her brows and mouthed, "Dawdling? Me?" Quickly turning her attention back to her Watcher Buffy smartly saluted, clicked her heels, and barked, "Dawdling ends now, Sir! I'm ready for discipline in the most extreme manner, Sir!"

Giggling at the blonde's antics Willow raised her hand and asked, "Is it okay if I dawdle here while you train? Sir?"

Crossing his arms Giles shook his head and mumbled without heat, "What is this generation coming to? First it's my method of delivering news, then it's my ties, and now my vocabulary."

With playful meekness the pretty redhead repeated, "Sir?"

Waving his hand in exasperation the older man sighed and answered, "Of course Willow. Dawdle away if you wish." Walking towards to the small pile of books he carried in earlier, Giles politely requested, "If you would have a seat here Buffy."

Jerking her head back slightly the bewildered Slayer sputtered, "W-What?" _I'm a little freaked about this now that it's here, but what's up with starting off with sitting down? I'd rather he make me kick a book off the top shelf._

Pulling the chair out he dryly explained, "A wooden seat is made for sitting. You are to sit on it. See? Perfectly easy."

Twisting her mouth in a frown Buffy complained, "I know how to seat in a chair. But I thought you said 'be ready to increase the intensity of your training?' Uh, Giles sitting in a chair is not increasing my workout. Now if you want me to break that chair with one finger, then okay." Hopefully raising her eyes she asked, "Do you want me to?" _Please don't let it be book stuff. Please don't let it be book stuff._

His thinly compressed lips twitched a little bit, admitting to the humor his Slayer inspired the more time they spent together. "Perhaps another day."

 _Shit! It's going to be book stuff._ "Whoa. Another day." Narrowing her hazel eyes in suspicion Buffy softly asked, "Are you trying to say that I'm going to be in that chair all day today?"

Clearing his throat Giles answered, "Not all day."

 _Thank you Jesus! It's not all going to be book stuff!_ Smiling in relief she was about to give a shout of thanks before abruptly freezing.

"You'll just be there until our session is over. And then you can, umm, go Bronzing as it were."

 _Shit. Shit. Shit._ Taking in a deep breath she cautiously asked, "What about bathroom breaks?"

"I'm afraid not."

Settling down at the table with a textbook in hand Willow sympathetically murmured, "Oh poor Buffy."

"Poor Buffy is right!" Pouting adorably she turned her childishly pure eyes towards her Watcher and wheedled, "You can't possibly be serious about me sitting still in one spot. I've been sitting still ALL day. It's cruel!" Seeing Giles was not being swayed she quickly broke in with, "And I'm a girl. Girls have to…GO…more than boys do."

Cheeks flushing lightly he cleared his throat before murmuring, "I understand that girls, ah, bathroom habits are plagued by, umm, frequency, but that is beyond the point. Part of your discipline begins with blocking out baser needs such as your overactive bladder."

"My bladder is not overactive! It's just-normal." Crossing her arms stubbornly she argued, "And I can block out stuff-when it's necessary."

Gently leading his recalcitrant Slayer to the debated chair Giles stated, "Of course it is and of course you do. However, now is the time to hone your sharpened skills."

Sitting down with a huff Buffy muttered, "Sure. Next time I'm in a fight with a pack of bloodthirsty vampires I can just say, 'Hey guys! Let's grab a bunch of chairs and whoever can sit still the longest wins!'"

"It won't be so bad Buffy. See I'll sit here with you as long as it takes. And even if I have to, you know, GO, I'll just ignore it. And if I start imagining the sound of rushing water I'll just hum." Breaking into a jangle of notes Willow put on her sweetest and most helpful face and proudly announced, "See? Humming here keeps it all there."

Pitifully sighing the tiny Slayer, the most sacred known warrior in the world, was truly defeated…by a loathsome chair. "Alright Giles. Let's begin disciplining." _I don't know how well I'll do, but I've got to try._

"That's the spirit Buffy!"

Looking up she caught a pair of supporting faces, one holding up her thumb as encouragement, and the other shoving a book under her nose.

"Now I know the ancient Summarian language isn't your forte, but their spiritual philosophy is quite pertinent to your new state. Ah, Willow if you could help Buffy with certain passages that would be quite helpful."

"Oh, sure." Scooting her chair closer Willow couldn't mask the scholarly glee in her eyes at the opportunity of handling such knowledge. Seeing the look of dread on her friend's face she soothingly murmured, "It's not that hard Buffy. What you really want to make sure is-"

 _Did they forget who they're talking to?_ "Uh, excuse me. Willow. Giles." Waiting until she had their full, undivided attention Buffy suddenly wailed, "Since when is any of these dead languages my forte! I can barely hold English together and you just want me to read this!" Looking down at the faded script she accusingly pointed to a section and forcefully cried, "This isn't even a letter!"

Rubbing the bridge of his nose Giles murmured, "Well of course it isn't a letter."

Throwing her hands in the air the Slayer exclaimed, "What is it with you and 'of course?' Of course it isn't a letter! It's squiggly shapes thrown together in a book to make me feel totally inept!"

"Buffy-" _She's scared. All this time I assumed she was throwing one of her little tantrums, ones not meant to be taken seriously, but it wasn't the case at all. She's scared of failing._

"No Giles…it's just that I don't KNOW how to do this stuff. All I know is how to fight in my back-assward, unconventional Buffy way. I don't know how to read the ancient writings. I don't know any other language than English and a few French and Spanish words. I don't know karate, aikido, jujitsu, or any of that stuff." Her shoulders slumped a bit as she softly admitted, "I don't know if my improvement as a Slayer really matters because I don't know how to do anything like that. If I can't do that, then how am I ever going to learn what you're going to teach me?" _And it's not like my super-Slayer skills are even pure. I got them letting a vampire suck the life out of me._

Feeling a hand on her arm Buffy turned to meet the concerned eyes of her friend. "Just because you don't know, doesn't mean you can't learn."

Drawing little circles on the table with her index finger she quietly murmured, "Maybe, but you know I'm not that smart. All I've got is a witty quip or two and killer shoes."

"That's not true!" Leaning closer Willow stated in a strong, clear voice: "Buffy if it wasn't for you we would've all died by now. This town would've gone to Hell by now. But it hasn't. You know why?"

Taken aback by Willow's passion, Buffy could only sit there transfixed, surreally hearing her life being presented through the eyes of someone else. _I never knew she could be so…compelling._

Not waiting to hear an answer Willow plowed forward. "You say all you know how to do is fight, but fighting isn't enough. Anybody can go out there and fight, but it doesn't mean anything if a person's reasons are in the wrong place. That's where you're different. You bring not only your heart-but also your mind. My God! You're only 17, but you have a strategic skill that most generals today don't have at 67. Anyone capable of learning how to foil the plans of the Master, countless vampires, including a Slayer-Killer like Spike, is more than smart enough to learn how to read ancient texts, speak fluently in any language, and master the accepted martial arts." Coming down Willow moderated her voice into the one they were used to hearing. "Okay?"

Swallowing thickly Buffy nodded her head once and whispered, "Okay." _Thank you for helping me. I'm not supposed to be scared. But I am. Thanks for making me feel better._

Giles stared at the young, redheaded girl with newfound respect. He knew he could've never articulated his words in that manner. His surprise over the whole exchange left him feeling humble and thankful that Willow had stayed behind. Although she was generally shy and timid, the voice that had spoken to Buffy was not that of an unsure teenager, but of an honorable woman with convictions. Clearing his throat the Watcher quietly admitted, "I could not have said it better Willow. You are absolutely correct."

Shifting his attention to his young charge he saw her shoulders straighten and her chin lift slightly. "I'm sorry Giles. I was being a big baby."

Taken aback once again the Watcher mumbled, "No need to apologize." Taking off his glasses he rubbed the bridge of his nose and softly said, "In fact it is I who should be apologizing to you. In all my excitement of your new developments, I completely disregarded how it could make you feel-good and bad. I'm sorry Buffy."

Brightly smiling she said, "It's okay! I think I just got a little weirded out with the whole Summarian thing."

"All right then. Let's start over." Settling down in a chair on the other side of his Slayer Giles began his lesson. "For now I just want you to listen. Afterwards, we'll discuss what you gathered from the text." Receiving a nod he cleared his throat once more and began reading. "Life does not just begin with the first breath out of the womb. Death does not just end with the body. They are separate and yet entwined…"

Outside beneath the dappled sunshine a young woman quietly sat with her back against a tree. Off in the distance a group of boys where running back and forth across a verdant field, jockeying to prove their supremacy over a small black and white ball. To the casual and not-so-casual observer it appeared that she was merely watching the Sunnydale Men's Soccer team, perhaps to catch a glimpse of her secret crush.

If this crush walked by and noticed her, he would see that her ebony hair was pulled up in a high ponytail with several plump curls left to trail down her neck and frame her exotic face. He would see her stretched out leg tapping to the music undoubtedly being played within her headphones, while her hands were busy with a handheld gaming system. If he looked closely he would see her rose-red mouth moving slightly, obviously singing softly to the silent music.

Maybe he'd even approach her.

But if he were wise, he'd keep walking.

Viewing the small screen in her hand Cynthia watched while the Watcher patiently read to his charge, occasionally stressing a passage of extreme importance. She had witnessed the entire episode from beginning to end, just as she had been watching them even before she ever set foot at Sunnydale High.

Several hours passed, and although the days were becoming longer, dusk eventually approached. She had needed to move, not wanting to draw too much unnecessary attention, if possible. Luckily for her one of the last basketball games was being played that night, so her presence was barely noted. Except for one time.

"Hey is that a Game Boy?"

Covertly shading the screen she barely looked up and politely answered, "Yeah it is."

"Can I play?"

Shaking her head Cynthia feigned a look of severe concentration and feverishly moved her thumbs. "Sorry. I'm on a roll to beat my high score."

"Oh I totally understand."

 _I bet you do._ Eventually the group at the library table stood, their session obviously over. She had been subjected to a length of squeaky humming off and on, but other than that her observations were quite insightful.

Standing up she casually made her way to the student parking lot, amidst a throng of departing teenagers. Easily walking through the crowd Cynthia kept her headphones on, and slipped the handheld instrument into her coat pocket. Training her gaze ahead she continued to listen and study the parting words between the Watcher, Buffy, and Willow.

High pitched. "Goodnight Giles!"

"Goodnight girls. Ah Buffy. You did quite well today. I'm, umm, proud of your concentration." Heavy pause. "I assume patrol tonight after your celebration?"

Immediate. "As always."

Concerned. "Well then. Ah, be safe."

Flippant. "Will do."

Door opening and closing.

Excited. "Alright Bronze at 8:30 tonight. I'll call Xander to make sure he and Cordelia make it."

Cordial. "Eight-thirty it is. What about Oz?"

Affectionate. "He's going to be there tonight already to put practice into action."

Shared laughter. "I can't wait to see it." Heavy pause. "Oh and Willow? Thanks for this afternoon."

Embarrassed. "Oh! Umm, you're welcome. I was just wanted to be, you know, supportive and nurturing."

Appreciative. "Well you were."

Heavy pause. Hesitant. "Huh, Buffy?"

Curious. "Yes?"

Uncomfortable. "How are you doing with Angel?"

Emotionless. "What do you mean?"

Rushed. "Not have you staked him yet, but how are you dealing with his…" Small pause. "Loss?"

Pain. "Okay. I guess." Long pause. "It's just hard."

Sympathetic. "Oh Buffy, I'm so sorry it turned out this way."

Hurt. "Me too." Short pause. "When Cordelia said what she said today…I just…I felt so terrible. Maybe I am forgetting about him. I don't want to. It's just that-"

Understanding. "You're just trying to hold it together the best you can. Because of who you are you can't just lock yourself in a room and eat chocolate-chip ice cream until you explode, like the rest of us. You have to get up each day and face what it gives you." Gentle pause. "I know you'll never forget him Buffy. I'll never forget him. But you're doing what you have to, just to survive."

Barely-there guilt. "Willow…I wish I could tell you what's happening on the inside. I wish I could, but I…"

More understanding. "I know. I didn't get it before, but I do now." Muffled fabric sliding. "Whenever you need to talk Buffy, I'll be here for you. Until then just know we stand behind you."

Confession. "Willow! I-I…I have something to tell you."

Curiosity. "What?"

Long, heavy pause. "Umm." Heavy pause. "I…you're the best friend I could ever hope for. No matter what happens, I want you to remember that."

Silence.

"Willow?"

Muffled tears. True confession. "I…Buffy…until you I thought that I just couldn't ever be friends with girls. I thought that there was something wrong with me and that Xander would be all I ever had." Shaky breath. "I was okay with that. I didn't feel sorry for myself, I just accepted it. Then you came…and suddenly I realized what I had been missing." Quavering voice. "If it weren't for you I'd continue to think there was something wrong with, even if only subconsciously." Stronger voice. "Now I believe in myself. Even if I'm never friends with another girl, I know now that I'm okay. I'm okay."

Humbleness. "Willow. You have no idea what those words mean to me."

Several seconds of teary silence. Shaky laughter. "Okay, we better go or Giles will come out of his office and suggest more discipline."

Horrified whisper. "No thanks! I could barely hold my pee in."

Uncomfortable pause. "Speaking of, I gotta go."

Assent. "Me too!"

Fading footsteps. Silence.

Reaching her small beige import Cynthia scanned the area and saw it was clean, inside and out. Slipping in she immediately locked the doors and turned on the engine. Looking over her shoulder she slowly reversed, keeping careful watch of the milling students, and eased her way forward. Slowly driving through the parking lot she waited in the long line exiting the school, before eventually driving away.

Scanning the roadway she kept an eye for any type of trouble that might befall an unsuspecting pedestrian. Thankfully the streets were empty except for people in moving vehicles. Soon she pulled into the parking garage of a small, but old building. Noticing her neighbors were already home Cynthia again scanned the area, looking for those who might do harm to a young woman alone. Once more the space was clean.

Casually walking to a metal doorway leading upstairs she punched in her key code. Hearing the buzz of acceptance she made her way up the flight of brightly lit stairs before reaching the landing. The old firehouse converted into four apartments was quiet even though the hour wasn't late. Making quick work of checking the mail Cynthia tossed the home remodeling coupons into the conveniently placed garbage can and kept the pizza ones and electricity bill.

Soundlessly making her way up the stairs she made a note to herself to give the Richardsons the blanket she made for their newborn baby girl. Pausing at Edna Kane's door she slipped the coupons under the door, knowing her neighbor lived off the stuff and could never use enough specials.

Unlocking her sturdy red door Cynthia paused at the threshold, intently listening for anything that shouldn't be there. Slipping a hand into her pocket she fingered the metal stake within and carefully pushed open the door. The small apartment was empty. Aware of the hallway space behind her she left the system armed, pulled out her handheld monitor, and performed a scan. Not only were there no disturbances during her absence, but also there were no forms within, living or otherwise.

Shutting the door quietly she locked it and lowered the system level intensity. Setting her keys down on a side table she turned on the lights before walking into the kitchen. Opening up a cabinet door Cynthia pulled out small yellow container before striding towards the small, illuminated fish tank. Seeing her little friends were happily gliding through the water she uncapped the lid and gave the cheery plastic a couple of firm shakes. Watching the fish dart to the surface with greedy gulps she gently smiled and turned away.

Kicking off her shoes she felt the stirrings of hunger and eyed the refrigerator with longing. _Later. Business first._ Pulling the cell phone off her waistband she flipped it open and punched in a series of numbers. A woman's cheery, American voice answered, "Thank you for calling Southland Industry Customer Service. Ailene speaking, how can I help you?"

"I'd like to commend your company on a product I recently purchased. In fact, I'd like to give a testimonial."

"Oh we're always happy to hear it. Item number please?"

"JSX-17-8243-MIR-29."

"JSX-17-8243-MIR-29. Oh, I see here that there's been a modification to that serial number in our database. Can you give me the store location you bought your product from?"

"Sunnydale, California."

"And the 10 digit store sequence?"

"3XT91M4CER."

"Alright and your name is?"

"Karen Blaylock."

"Wonderful. I'll transfer you to our testimonial department."

Sitting down in a comfortable, overstuffed chair Cynthia propped her feet up on the matching ottoman. The soft sounds of lite radio filtered in her ear for a few moments before a carefully modulated voice spoke in a Southern accent. "Karen Blaylock?"

"Call me Cynthia."

"Line is secure." The American accent disappeared to be replaced by a crisp, cultured British one. "What do you have to report?"

Crossing her small feet at the ankles she efficiently answered, "Subject A received the news along with Subjects E through G. Subject H was absent and confirmed due to extracurricular activities. Subject B maintained protocol. At 4:03 Subjects A, B, and E settled in to begin training. Subjects F and G left premises at 3:58 and proceeded to Location 10. Training was suspended from 4:05 until 4:11. It immediately resumed at 4:12 and lasted until 7:20. Subject A, B, and E spoke for 51 seconds before Subject B departed for the office. Subject A and E proceeded to speak from 7:22 until 7:31. Immediately afterwards both left. However, Subjects A, E through H will be gathering at Location 4 at approximately 8:30 tonight. A full transcript has already been sent to facility."

"Excellent." A small pause passed before the voice asked, "What are your assessments?"

Watching the small three fish gracefully glide about their aquarium Cynthia clinically answered, "Subject A is emotionally fragile. The subject's guilt over the association with Subject C weighs heavily in the subject's mind, especially when Subject C's previous demeanor is mentioned. At 7:26 Subject A almost confessed to Subject E about the continued involvement with Subject C."

"Did Subject E suspect?"

Replaying the voices in her mind Cynthia knew Willow had no idea concerning the importance of what Buffy almost let out. "No."

"Are the other subjects aware of A's condition?"

"No. They only see what they expect."

"What was Subject A's disposition towards the new curriculum?"

Remembering Buffy's words Cynthia squashed down the seed of sympathy growing within. _If she took her duty more seriously, she wouldn't have to feel the way she does._ "Subject A displayed guilt, insecurity and fear."

"How so?"

"Guilt because of subject's alterations have come from Subject C. Insecurity because Subject A feels the lack of not having a thorough understanding of relevant material. And lastly, Fear of personal failure."

"Was the guilt noticable?"

"No. The subjects did not pick up on it."

"Very well. And how was Subject B in regards to the matter?"

"Subject B faltered with encouragement. Subject E displayed worthy behavior."

"I suspected as much." Shifting the topic towards the beginning the voice asked, "And how did Subject B deliver the package?"

Leaning her head back Cynthia tiredly closed her eyes yet her voice remained as calm and impassive as before. "Subject B performed with much relief and excitement. The subject's discretion remained intact, as previous transcripts and reports prove."

"I see." Another pause echoed across the line before the man emotionlessly queried, "Do you foresee Subject B as being a risk?"

 _I hold a man's life in my hands. One word and he'll be eliminated._ Opening her eyes she stared at the high, cream-colored ceiling. "No. Although Subject B is uncommonly attached to Subject A, Subject B will not jeopardize protocol."

"Are you sure?"

Shifting her gaze she watched the playful, darting fish again. "You're welcome to run the data's analysis with necessary parties."

A tiny pause passed before she heard a detached, "It has already been done."

Cynthia didn't have to ask the results. They were the same as hers. _That wasn't very well done of you Asheburne. Tsk. Tsk. Allowing your own petty dislike to cloud your judgment. Bad Watcher._ "Can I impart anything else with you?"

"No. Continue as you were."

The line abruptly went dead. Closing the phone with a smart "click" she returned it back to her waist and stood up. Raising her hands in the air she stretched and yawned loudly. Dropping her arms she gave into her belly's rumbling and walked back into the kitchen. Pulling out a container of rice she briskly dumped a cup into the cooker, poured water, placed the necessary lid, and started it with a neat flip of a switch. _I love this thing. It sure beats cooking it in a pan._

Lightly humming she pulled out a casserole dish from the refrigerator. Inside were several fat pieces of raw chicken sitting amidst sliced green peppers, tomatoes, and onions with a hint of cilantro to liven the mix. Sliding the contents into a large pan Cynthia easily went through the steps of cooking a fresh Spanish-style dish.

To an outsider looking in, she seemed content with the delightful aroma her skill was producing. And she was. However, her thoughts couldn't help but stray to another woman, one who taught her how to let poultry sit with vegetables all day in order to enhance the final flavor. "Mama."

The outsider would never see the pain that one whispered word caused, or the dark memories that sprang to unwanted life. Watching her turn away from the stove to wash her hands, a stranger would never think to look past the beautiful face to peer into ebony eyes hiding pain behind them. If the outsider were even permitted to venture into her abode, he would see warmly painted rust walls and gently used furnishings and think how it was a surprising contrast compared to her stark black wardrobe.

If he were curious enough to walk throughout the apartment the stranger would stop and admire the bright prints tastefully scattered on varying walls. He would poke his head into the bathroom and see it was clean and cheerful with the crisp white shower curtain and architectural tin tiles hung above the towel rack.

If the outsider were bold enough to walk into the last room at the end he would see a cozy space with beautiful taupe glazed walls. If he were inquisitive enough he would see a bed topped with a lovely rose comforter, two purposely mismatched end tables, and one distressed dresser. If the stranger were observant enough, he might wonder what a pretty pink baby's blanket was doing neatly folded in the midst of this grown-up room.

However, what the nosy outsider would completely miss was that despite the appearance of warmth the entire apartment lacked any evidence to who lived there. There were no photos displayed on any space. There was no personal memorabilia. There was nothing to indicate who the beautiful, dark-haired girl in the kitchen was.

There was only one tiny, faded, and cracked album tucked away in a hollow space within the sturdy dresser. It was nothing more than a handful of pictures, torn in a few places and not even that new.

But if the outsider were disrespectful enough to have found it-she would've immediately killed him on the spot.

However, he had no intention of ending his life in such a way. So after another thirty minutes passed, enough time for her to finish cooking, he made his way to the door and knocked.

Automatically stiffening Cynthia commanded her limbs to relax and gracefully uncoiled herself from the small garden table serving as a dining room one. Checking the visual display she widened her eyes in surprise at who was on the other side of the door. _This is unexpected._ Composing her expression into easy charm she opened the door and murmured, "Well isn't this a surprise Simon…Smith is it now?"

A small smile played at the corners of his mouth, making his artic blue eyes sparkle beautifully. "Cynthia, I hope you've had a good evening."

Never changing her façade she answered, "It's been divine."

"Good to hear." Keeping his hands down by his sides he inclined his blond head and asked, "May I come in?"

"If I say no?"

"Then I'll respect your wishes."

"Except for the times that I'm not here, isn't that correct?"

His smile widened, showcasing strong white teeth with only the tiniest hint of fangs. "You are as clever as I always thought you were."

"And you're still a charmer." Inviting him with a sweeping arm Cynthia waited until she closed the door behind her handsome guest. Taking his tawny wool coat in hand she hung it alongside hers on a wall rack. Indicating for him to sit at the table she solicitously inquired, "Would you like a drink?"

Elegantly seating his long frame on the tiny seat Simon politely answered, "Yes please."

"I don't carry vodka, but I do have orange juice."

Folding his hands on the table he acknowledged her reference to his appreciation of that particular drink. "That will be fine, thank you."

Returning with juice in hand Cynthia easily set it in front of the large vampire before placing a heavy plate and fork along as well. Silently spooning a small portion of rice she murmured, "Excuse the amount, but I didn't expect to entertain company tonight."

"No apologies needed. I would've called, but you're not listed."

Lifting her lips in a tiny smile she inclined her head and set a chicken thigh topped with broth and vegetables next to the rice. Sitting down across from him she wordlessly passed a napkin. Seeing the other ready, both began eating in silence. When Simon complimented the rich flavor Cynthia courteously thanked him. Seeing his cup run low she asked if he was interested in more drink. He assented and she poured him more before setting the pitcher on the table. When her cup neared empty Simon returned the favor.

After the meal was over he helped her clear the dishes and even rinsed them, not giving any attention to the water splashing onto his fine, linen crème shirt. Once her kitchen was tidied up Cynthia offered him dessert to which he politely declined. "Coffee?"

"If it's not too much trouble." Elegantly standing near the kitchen Simon watched as she prepared their beverage. Soon the heady aroma of sweet coffee permeated the air. Pouring the brew into two tiny porcelain cups with matching saucers, Cynthia gracefully set them on a tray and allowed the vampire to courteously take it from her. "Thank you Simon."

"You're welcome." Politely he waited for her to walk ahead of him.

Leading them both into the living room she watched as he set the delicate tray down. Handing Cynthia a saucer he murmured, "I like how you used a steamer trunk for a coffee table."

Accepting it she flashed him a small smile and replied, "Garage sale find." Waiting until he was comfortably seated she leaned back in her overstuffed chair, propped her stocking feet up, and asked, "Now Simon, what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

Taking a sip of the fragrant drink the blond vampire closed his eyes in appreciation before setting the tiny cup back on its saucer. Crossing his long legs he leaned back and stared into her ebony eyes. "Business first, eh, Cynthia…DeVarrez?"

Her fathomless gaze held his as she murmured, "Always."

He made no attempt to hide the bittersweet smile on his lips. "Well, I guess you've become what you always wanted."

"Not completely." Blatantly studying him Cynthia silently admitted that he was still the most beautiful man she had ever seen in her short, but eventful life. His dark blond hair was pulled back in a tight queue, the style emphasizing the exotic features bespeaking of Slavic heritage. The cerulean eyes watching her were reserved and watchful, but she knew from experience that they had the ability to shift to demonic ice and inspire terror in the unfortunate recipient of his rage.

His clothes were impeccable, yet simple-just as she remembered them to be. Allowing her gaze to drift down she noticed how the ivory shirt draped perfectly over his wide shoulders, while the pair of fawn slacks discretely clung to his lean hips and legs.

Several seconds passed in silence before Simon remarked, "It's been a couple of years hasn't it?"

Finally shifting her eyes from him Cynthia chose to lift her cup and take a small sip. Swallowing the pleasantly warm brew she sensed where her visitor was going to take the conversation. Leaning forward she set her saucer on the leather trunk and softly answered, "About two."

Feeling his gaze like a physical caress she heard him murmur, "And you've changed quite a bit since then."

Tilting her head to the side she attempted to bring levity to his observation. "Really? I haven't grown any and my boobs are still the same size."

Not even a tiny smile cracked the still perfection of his features. "That's not what I mean."

Clasping her hands across her knee she calmly answered, "Of course it isn't." _Here it comes._

Simon's brilliant crystalline eyes met hers without hesitation as he unequivocally stated, "You don't need to be a part of this Cynthia."

 _Bingo._ Maintaining her relaxed position she quietly murmured, "My employers disagree."

"What's going to happen is going to be-your machinations are throwing things out of balance."

A cynical smile lifted the corners of her red mouth as she mockingly said, "Ah balance. I forget how important balance is to you."

Taking the barb in stride he softly explained, "There are reasons why I do what I do."

Mirroring his tone she replied, "And there are reasons why I do what I do."

"I can see that." Abruptly shifting the topic Simon quietly shared, "I still remember the first time I met you. Do you?"

 _Why are you bringing this up?_ Keeping her pleasant mask up she softly admitted, "I do. You were the first one I couldn't kill."

A sincere chuckle drifted across the darkened space between the two. "Not for lack of trying."

Cynthia kept her reply noncommittal. "Hmm." Those were times that she preferred not to think about. The only time she willingly visited her memories was when her strength faltered. Just remembering the injustice in her life immediately fueled her conviction that what she was doing was right. But memories of Simon…those were ones she didn't need.

"Cyn, you were such a spitfire back then. I couldn't help but admire your spirit, even though you were trying to slam a metal bar through my chest."

 _I haven't been called that in years-two of them as a matter of fact._ Remembering that long ago night she reluctantly added, "I couldn't reach your heart because you're so tall, so I kept trying to sweep your legs from underneath you. But I was too weak to do it."

Without the least bit of censure Simon said with proud admiration, "But you didn't quit. So when that failed you tried to cut open my legs so that I would drop."

Shaking her head she smiled briefly. "And that didn't work either. No matter what I did you were able to prevent it-all without hurting me."

"Why would I? It would've been a sin to extinguish that fierce light."

In a matter of fact tone she stated, "Others would've."

Acknowledging the truth he softly answered, "I'm not like them."

Feeling her heart stir she met his gaze and admitted, "I know." Leaning back against the thick pillows she softly said, "There are several stories I've learned throughout the years. Would you care to hear one of them?"

Simon's voice betrayed curiosity as he answered, "I'm listening."

Keeping her attention trained on him she began, "It is said that there was once a vampire who by chance saw a handsome youth in a crude village. It was night, of course, so she was surprised to see a soul out in the midst of winter. But instead of huddling down for warmth in his shelter, he sat on a grassy knoll wrapped in his skins and watched the stars."

"There was something so wondrous about this mortal who cared enough to look above that she didn't care that he was a mere farmer without power. She only saw a beautiful soul to match his beautiful face. Night after night she came to the outskirts of the settlement, using her power to soothe the beasts that sensed her presence and watched him."

Adding into the story Simon quietly said, "As the days turned into weeks she faltered in courage and grew angry with herself. How could she, a great predator, be scared of what amounted to little more than rabbit in comparison to her jaws?"

Nodding her head in agreement Cynthia continued with, "Yet not once did she take that frustration out on the young man. Her curiosity became obsession and so earlier and earlier she came until one night she found the courage to approach him. She expected to smell fear on his body, but when he noticed her presence he displayed no alarm, only relief."

Curling her legs up she paused briefly, waiting to see if Simon would pick up the next part of the tale.

His low voice complied and stated, "For almost as long as she had watched him, he admitted how he had watched her. At first he had believed the fiery-haired woman to be a spirit lost on the way to the mists, but as the nights melded into one another he prayed for the chance to talk to her, if only to tell her she had blessed his nights and made them less lonely."

"The vampire reached out and lovingly touched the twisted right leg he carried, understanding how because of his lameness he had to watch as female after female joined with men who were stronger-leaving him completely alone."

Training his gaze upon hers Simon kept his form unnaturally still, while he said, "Leaning down she kissed the furs covering the limb, wordlessly expressing her acceptance of him. Without another word she held his hand and slowly led him into his solitary hut. That night they loved each other with a fierceness that went beyond lust. Before she departed in the pre-dawn hour she promised she would be back the next night."

Finishing the tale Cynthia said, "She loved him in spite of his weakness. Or perhaps because of it. Therefore, night after night they continued to meet. The others in the youth's clan began to whisper amongst themselves that something odd was occurring deep in the night. They sought to discover this mystery, but couldn't for they never saw even a hair of her. However, her clan knew fully well what was occurring. Most didn't care, but there were three vampires who were sickened by one of their own being in love with a lesser creature."

"And so they plotted and planned for a way to lure her away. They succeeded and on that night they stormed the village and slaughtered every living being there. Their methods were brutal and quick, but they saved the worst for the youth."

"She sensed her love's agony and so racing back to him she found the shambles of what used to be a lively settlement. The smell of blood held no sweetness for her, only stench. With dread she came into his hut and found his dismembered body strewn across the dirt. She realized then, when it was too late, what had occurred."

"Her vengeance knew no bounds and within the hour each of the murderers were ash. However, it did nothing to stop her grief. The only person she ever loved was dead and it was because of her. It was because of who she was. If she had been a human or he a vampire they could've loved until Fate saw fit to separate them."

Simon softly murmured, "But it wasn't meant to be."

Blinking slowly Cynthia's voice never betrayed a hint to what was in her mind or even if the sad story affected her at all. "And so with a deadened spirit she raised herself from the remnants of her enemies and began to chant. Harnessing the forces of timeless magic she declared that none from her clan would ever be able to freely enter a mortal's dwelling without permission. Never again would a human be slaughtered in his own home by an unknown vampire. Never again would her bloodline be able to enter where they were not invited."

Peering deep in her ebony eyes the blond vampire softly whispered, "So although vampires would always be stronger than humans, she gave them the only protection she could…in memory of the beautiful soul that had died because of her."

Gracefully laying her hands on the seat's armrest Cynthia murmured, "So when you say you're not like them, it's true. You can go where you're not invited…among other things." Clearing her throat she looked at him with a pretty smile and murmured, "I could tell you about the vampire who allowed his Christian lover to be fed to the lions, but you probably know that one, huh?"

Heavily sighing Simon shifted in his seat and leaned forward. Bluntly he asked, "Are you angry?"

Arching a lovely brow she asked with a small smile, "Why would I be?"

Despite the pleasant cast of her face Simon sensed the displeasure masked as amusement. I just wanted to see how you were doing, that's all."

"Really?" Sagely nodding she narrowed her eyes and coolly asked, "And you saw fit to do this while I was gone?"

This time Simon had the grace to appear embarrassed. "It's a habit I can't seem to break. Besides, I wasn't sure if I'd be welcome or not-considering the way we parted."

"And you didn't even bother to find out." Dryly laughing she tilted her head and asked, "So if this isn't a social call, tell me-what are you doing here?"

Coming out he shortly said, "I saw you at the Cavern the other night."

Her calm expression didn't change. Shrugging she lightly commented, "I'd be surprised if you didn't, considering you own majority stake in it."

"Why are you apart of this?"

Slowly blinking she could feel her lips curl in a detached smile. _Why? As if my being here isn't answer enough._ Looking around Cynthia softly murmured, "She and Carolina would've like this place. It's not Texas, but they would've liked how warm it gets here, and how quiet the streets are."

Gracefully standing up Simon approached her, looking for any indication that he was to maintain his space. Her eyes, beautiful and dark, were shuttered not with coldness, but with the absence of emotion. _She used to be so different._ Easing his large frame on the edge of the ottoman he laid his hand on her ankle in a gesture of comfort and said, "Cyn it's not your fault."

Maintaining her regal mask she inclined her head and evenly agreed. "You're right. It isn't."

Knowing exactly what she wasn't saying he stated in low, but steady voice, "The fault lays with one person and that's the bastard who did it."

Raising her head she quietly stared into his compassionate face and didn't say a word. Yet her eyes flashed with suppressed fury. However, her voice, when it came, maintained the same smooth cadence as before. "It was supposed to be different Simon."

Understanding flared in his handsome face and his cool hand tightened fractionally on her slender ankle. "So that's how come you're being used for this."

Maintaining eye contact she replied, "Nobody uses me. I've been assigned to Sunnydale because it's my job. My personal feelings were not the primary factor. I'm doing this because it's right. That's all."

"Everything is not always black and white."

Resisting the urge to kick his hand away Cynthia bluntly stated, "I disagree Simon. There's right and wrong. And what's happening in this town is wrong. Despite your association in this mess, you should know that."

Heaving a small sigh he chose not to argue and requested, "I would prefer you to leave it to me."

Her voice became cold and removed, as she quickly answered, "That's not possible."

Gentling his tone Simon soothingly said, "Talk to me, Niña. Tell me exactly what's in store in your camp."

Neatly dislodging his hand, without the least bit of violence, she stood up and coolly looked into his face. "Don't mistake my courtesy for weakness. If you were meant to know, you would. That's really why you came here, isn't it? You believed that because of our past association I'd be easy to pump information out of." A tiny flash of fury crossed her beautiful features, before it quickly disappeared. "If you have a problem with this arrangement-take it up with my superiors."

Rising as well Simon towered over the small girl, but he knew she felt no intimidation. His gaze roved over her beloved face, looking for some trace of the girl she used to be. In regret he murmured, "Such coldness. How well they've trained you."

"Are you judging me? Is the great Simon…Smith…judging me for being mortal? For having flaws? For being out of balance?" Her voice held no censure, merely curiosity.

Gently touching her smooth cheek he leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I don't judge. And if I were inclined to judging, I still wouldn't judge you."

"Because that would throw you out of balance, wouldn't it?" Her mask slipped once again, allowing old pain to drift out.

Giving her face one last caress Simon softly whispered, "You know me better than any human alive does. You know the answer, Niña."

Without another word she bent down, picked up the saucers, and walked into the kitchen. When she returned Simon already had his coat on and was standing by the door. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a pair of finely stitched leather gloves and slipped them on. "Goodbye Cynthia."

Folding her hands at the waist she evenly replied, "Goodbye Simon."

Opening the door he prepared to walk out when he suddenly asked, "Do you still hate me?"

Closing her eyes briefly Cynthia honestly answered, "No I don't."

"But you don't understand." It wasn't a question, but rather a statement.

A moment passed before she smoothly answered, "It's not something I think about anymore."

"Ah, I see." Unwilling to let it go he stated, "But you did think about it."

Refusing to give into weakness she kept her tone emotionless. "Everyday Simon. Everyday."

Still keeping his face from her the vampire sincerely admitted, "I did it for you."

Beating back the series of images flooding her mind Cynthia's heart silently cried in mourning. _It doesn't matter anymore._ "I know you did. And now because of you, I can do what I do. In many ways you did me the kindest favor imaginable."

Without turning around he nodded his head once and remarked, "This town is small enough that I'm sure we'll meet again."

Shaking off the past like an unwanted burden Cynthia coldly disagreed. "I'm afraid you're wrong Simon. We may see other, but we won't be meeting again. Consider this a warning between old friends: if you ever come inside my apartment again, I'll be sweeping you with the trash that same day. I promise you."

The sadness in his voice was unmistakable as he quietly murmured, "Like I said, you've become what you always wanted." And with those parting words Simon walked away.

Closing the door Cynthia ignored the pain in her heart. She refused to acknowledge the burning sensation prickling in the back of her lids. Instead she turned up the security level on the entire building and turned off the light. She needed her rest if she was going to continue to perform at the highest level.

And to perform at her highest level she couldn't indulge her weaknesses.

"Miss DeVarrez has just let the Ancient out, Sir."

"Relay the footage to me immediately."

"It is downloading now."

"Inform me when she resumes her duties. That will be all."

Bringing up his panel Edward William Asheburne watched the encounter between Simon and Cynthia with much interest. He had been aware of the vampire's previous presence in his agent's home as well, but he was as surprised as she to see the Ancient boldly announce himself.

Studying the footage with a critical eye he noted not only their spoken, but unspoken gestures as well. Simon gave nothing away until he approached and touched her. As for Cynthia, except for a few instances, her behavior was a credit to the years of training she had undergone. However, no matter how few, there were still breaches in emotion regarding Simon.

Turning off his panel Asheburne quietly pondered how best to proceed in the next few weeks. His young protégé had only two weaknesses-one was absolutely to the advantage of his organization. The other, however…

Pressing a discreet button he was rewarded with an immediate, "Sir?"

"Send me all the archive information regarding Cynthia Santiana."

"Yes, sir."

Leaning back in his comfortable leather chair Asheburne continued his previous line of thought. In all their years of association Cynthia Santiana had two weaknesses. The first-the love of her defunct family-kept her focused and committed to their mutual cause. It was because of her loyalty to their memories that she became the best.

And that in itself was no small feat.

Of all the ones chosen for their organization, he had never seen anyone excel so quickly. Her capacity for learning was phenomenal. There wasn't a discipline that she hadn't mastered, whether it be languages, fighting, etiquette, mysticism, or technology.

Allowing the smallest of smiles to grace his lips Asheburne realized his thoughts were those of a stern, yet proud parent. It was true. However, it wasn't his warm feelings towards her that skewed his mind. No matter how much he admired Cynthia's skill, he never forgot that she was a tool.

A powerful and extraordinary one, but a tool nonetheless.

"Transfer complete."

Lifting up a tiny remote Asheburne pointed it towards the empty space in front of him. Immediately an image of the Ancient appeared in mid-air. Peering at the flawless face staring back at him, he thought of Cynthia's second weakness.

 _Her love for him is completely unacceptable._ No matter how much she suppressed it, no matter how much she ignored it-she was still madly in love with Simon.

Steepling his fingers together the British gentleman passively looked out the window onto the bustling world below and quietly snarled, "Don't you dare fall into your weaknesses Cynthia. Otherwise you're no better than the Slayer."

"Mom! I'm leaving!"

Coming out of the kitchen Joyce was in the middle of drying her hands with a towel. "It's a school night Buffy. Why don't you stay home tonight?"

Furrowing her brow she whined, "But Mom, I've spent hours after school getting tutored. I NEED some down time."

Skeptically lifting her brows Joyce mentioned, "Which by the way, I haven't seen any results that prove you're taking your sessions seriously."

Placing her hands on her slender hips Buffy pouted, "I can't believe you have so little faith in me." Heaving the sigh of a martyr she bounded up the stairs and called over her shoulder, "I'll be expecting an apology."

Raising her voice so she'd be heard Buffy's mother called out, "If you show me something wonderful I'll not only apologize, I'll let you go to the Bronze with my blessings."

Yelling in return the young girl stated, "I'm holding you to that." Within moments she came sauntering down with a history test in hand. Without another word she handed it to her mother and smugly waited.

Taking the proffered test Joyce looked down, expecting to see a paper filled with red ink, only to see a miracle. Widening her eyes she sputtered, "B-Buffy! I can't believe it!" Seeing her daughter's offended expression she quickly said, "I mean I always knew you could do it-it's just-I'm so proud of you!" Enveloping her tiny daughter in a tight hug Joyce began to hop up and down.

Feeling her body getting crushed Buffy laughingly warned, "Okay Mom, world getting dizzy here."

Letting go she kissed her daughter on the cheek and brightly stated, "It's seems that Angel's tutoring is really helping."

Buffy felt her cheeks flush a bit. It was true that his tutoring had immediate results-due to his unconventional methods. Biting her lip she remembered how it felt to have his fingers inside of her while bringing down the crop on her backside. _Only a few more hours until I see him._ Forcing herself to shrug she murmured, "It is. History is pretty boring, but somehow he makes it interesting." Quickly looking away Buffy could've slapped a hand over her mouth. _I can't believe I just said that!_

"Well that's what good teachers do-inspire their students to achieve more." Walking towards the kitchen Joyce happily took the test and stuck it the to the refrigerator with a magnet. Standing back she proudly stated, "There. Now every time I come in here I can see my baby's wonderful achievement."

Buffy forced herself to gripe, "Mom I'm not in kindergarten anymore." However, on the inside she was ecstatic herself. _Anytime I feel like I can't do this Slayer-Training-Improvement-Thing, all I have to do is look at that test._ Waiting until her mother came back she asked, "So can I go to the Bronze?"

"Of course you can! Just be back by 10:30."

"10:30? That's like only two hours!"

Crossing her arms the elder Summers sternly said, "10:30. If you don't like that I can make it 10:00."

Trudging towards the door Buffy mumbled, "Okay, okay. 10:30 it is."

Seeing her daughter off Joyce cautioned, "Now be careful on the way to Willow's."

Waving she assured her mother with, "I will. I won't talk to strangers and if anyone I don't know gets too close I'll introduce them to my little friend-Mr. Pepper Spray."

"That's my girl."

Waiting until the door closed Buffy turned around and began to walk with a smile. Tonight was definitely a night for celebration. 'No Acrymydion. No prophesies. Just good ole Slaying. Who would've thought I'd be happy with only dusting vampires on my plate?' Within no time she arrived at Willow's. Walking up to the brightly lit porch she rang the doorbell.

Mr. Rosenberg answered the door within a minute. Seeing the young blonde he smiled and warmly greeted her with, "Buffy! Come on in." Closing and locking door behind them he mentioned, "Willow's still not ready, but she wants you to come to her room."

"Okay. Thanks Mr. Rosenberg." Going down the hall she knocked on her friend's door and immediately heard, "Come in Buffy!"

Pushing it open she smiled at the messy array of clothing covering every available space on the bed. "I guess you couldn't decide between the pink and the rest of your closet, huh?"

Plopping on a chair Willow wailed, "I don't have anything to wear!"

Gracefully sinking to the floor Buffy dryly stated, "And so what has been the battle cry of women for centuries endures."

Holding up a purple shirt with cute flowers the redhead cried, "What am I thinking when I buy these things?"

Furrowing her brow the Slayer replied, "Uh, cute and wholesome?"

Throwing it down in disgust Willow seethed, "Exactly. I'm tired of cute and wholesome. I mean it's like 'Oh look. Here comes cute and wholesome girl. Poor Oz. He probably doesn't have the heart to tell her she's so cute it's enough to make him puke!'" Turning to her friend she muttered, "What am I going to do?"

Putting up a finger to her lips Buffy murmured, "Well it could be that Oz likes you cute and wholesome…" Seeing the fires of piqued rage flare in Willow's eyes she quickly changed her train of thought and stated, "Or we could just go back to my house and do a super-fast makeover."

A ray of hope transformed Willow's face to angelic bliss. "Number Two!"

Resolutely standing up the blonde girl nodded. "Alright then. But we're going to have to hurry if we want to have any time at the Bronze."

"You've got curfew tonight?"

"Yep 10:30. So you should stomach your disgust of your cute and wholesome wardrobe and pick something out to wear to my house."

Crossing her slender legs she eyed Buffy's tan skirt, black shirt, and ebony boots with envy. Directing her attention to the pile with distaste she whined, "Do I have to?"

"Either that or go naked, but I don't think your parents would be cool with that."

Sighing heavily Willow agreed. "True. Oh well, I guess it's purple wholesomeness with a shot of denim cuteness."

Wary of her friend's reaction towards any cute-and-wholesome-positivity Buffy neutrally said, "Sounds like a…reasonable…choice."

Shoving her head through the neck hole Willow abruptly mentioned, "I better call Xander to let Cordelia know to pick us up at your house."

Dryly Buffy muttered, "Oh joy. I can imagine Cordelia's lecture on 'Who Do You Guys Think I Am-A Taxi Service?'"

Pulling up her jeans Willow quickly buttoned them before slipping on a pair of purple and yellow striped socks. "I'm sure it's going to be pretty loud tonight. Or not. I mean this is an Acrymydion-Free night. It's bound to bring out her sweet side."

Picking up a brush Buffy ran it through her friend's locks, effortlessly securing the lovely ruby hair in a ponytail. "You're probably right."

Eyeing the Slayer in disbelief Willow stated in wonderment, "I can't believe you didn't say something like, 'What? She has one?' Buffy? Are you…maturing?"

Laughing Buffy griped, "Am I that immature?"

"Oh no! It's just…wow."

Putting the brush down on the dresser the blonde girl assured her still gaping friend, "Don't worry. I'll probably be back to brattiness within the day. Ready to go?"

"Yeah, just let me get my shoes."

Within minutes both girls were quickly making their way back to Buffy's house. Rubbing her arms Willow commented, "It's still chilly. It should be warming up by now."

"I know. Maybe it's just another one of those wacky winter things." Instinctually scanning the streets for danger she shrugged and commented, "Although it could herald the beginning of an Apocalypse."

"Oh don't even joke like that!" _Who said I was joking?_ Smiling she saw the lights in her living room on and the image of her mother talking on the phone. Bounding up the steps Buffy tossed over her shoulder, "We gotta make it quick while Mom is on the phone or she might corner us with chit-chat." Opening up the door she threw out a quick "Hi Mom! We're about to leave again. Willow just needs to borrow some clothes." However she froze when she heard the caller's response after her mother said, "Uh could you just hold on for a sec?"

" _Of course."_

Covering the mouthpiece Joyce commented, "I thought you'd be at the Bronze by now."

 _She's talking to Angelus!_ Glancing at her friend Buffy suggested, "Go up ahead of me Will. I'll be there in a bit."

Nodding her head Willow murmured, "Sure," her young mind already entranced with visions of non-cute-and-wholesome-clothing.

Praying that her mother wouldn't say his name before the red head was out of earshot she forced herself to affect the typical pose of teenage impatience. "We're doing a super fast makeover, so I got to go."

"Oh okay honey. I was just telling Angel about your test." Giving her daughter a thumbs-up she reiterated, "I'm just so proud of you!"

Pasting on a small smile Buffy casually asked, "He called?"

"Huh, no. I called him. I just couldn't wait another minute to brag."

 _She has his number!_ Turning away she tossed out, "Okay. Well I'll see you later Mom!"

Going up the stairs she forced the frown marring her face away. Still her mind was in turmoil. _How come she has his number and I don't? I didn't even know Angelus had a phone._ Walking into her room she already saw Willow was entrenched in her closet. _Oh shit! The presents! What if she finds them?_ Approaching her Buffy gently steered her away and enthusiastically stated, "You sit down Ms. Non-Wholesome and I'll act as your fashion model, okay?"

"Uh, sure." Sitting cross-legged on the bed she expectantly waited to be wowed.

Whirling around Buffy quickly scanned the contents, discretely pushed a large bag filled with gifts out of view, and wondered what would look best on her friend. "Pants or skirt Will?" _Man I haven't even had a chance to see what he got me!_

Giving the matter much thought she glanced down at the blonde's exposed leg and wickedly smiled. "Skirt."

"Ooh, naughty girl." Chuckling she turned back towards the hanging clothes before pulling three out and holding each one in turn. "Okay, we've got an emerald green-which would go nicely with your hair by the way. A purple, which before you start glaring at me like that, is DARK, so it's more like a saucy purple. No, forget purple, it's called BRUISE. Ah, you like that don't you? And finally we have black, not just basic black, dangerous black. So what do you want to be? A jewel, a bruise, or a dangerous individual?"

Putting one finger up to her mouth Willow studied each one. Quietly she was leaning towards the purple, no bruise, but to pick it would defeat the only makeover process. Black was always a good choice, but she just wasn't a dangerous type of girl. "I'll be a jewel tonight."

Dramatically flinging the discarded skirts to the floor Buffy cried, "Excellent decision! Okay here you go. Now onto tops. What kind are you in the mood for? I have short sleeved, no sleeved, and long sleeved."

Slipping off her socks, shoes, and pants Willow was already sliding into the skirt. Fumbling with the zipper she looked up and replied, "How about short sleeved with a jacket?"

"Okay." Rifling through she found a few suitable options and began her pitch again. "Now I have the matching shirt, which you can see is quite pretty. I also have a white one, which will really make your hair stand out. Finally I have trusty black, which is always a good choice."

"Mmm. Green again." Reaching for the proffered shirt Willow quickly took off the one she was wearing and slid the new one in place. "Now all I need are a jacket and shoes."

"Jacket coming up." Pulling a dark brown jacket off the hanger Buffy laid it on the bed before digging for shoes. "It's a good thing we wear the same shoe size or we'd be in a jam."

Peering at her slender legs Willow frowned a commented, "It looks like I could use a shave."

Holding up two pairs of shoes the Slayer looked at them critically and absently murmured, "Hmm. Brown or black?"

"Brown."

"Okay here you go. By the way, I keep new razors in the bathroom-top left drawer."

Bounding up the red head checked her watch and murmured, "Thanks Buffy. They'll be here in less than ten minutes so I better hurry up."

"Hey do you want some help with your hair?"

Looking at herself critically in the mirror Willow actually liked the high ponytail. But maybe she should change it… "Do I need another hair style?"

Correctly reading her friend's insecurity Buffy quickly shook her head and emphatically stated, "No! I like the ponytail! I just mentioned it just in case."

Warmly smiling Willow chirped, "Oh okay. I'll be out in a few." Closing the door the sound of running water soon filled the silence.

"Personally I would've left her hair down."

 _Angelus!_ Whirling around the tiny blonde looked up to see her lover leaning indolently against the wall. Lowering her voice to a near whisper she asked in a panicked voice, "What are you doing here?"

"Just came by to pick my girl up."

Flushing from pleasure she glanced at the bathroom door, torn between approaching Angelus and tossing him outside again. "Willow's here!"

Mimicking her tone the dark vampire replied, "I know. Hence my comment."

Remembering what he said she narrowed her eyes and growled, "Were you peeping?"

"Maybe." Seeing his lover's face turn an interesting shade of red Angelus held up his hands and assured her with, "Now don't get your panties in a bunch Baby. I didn't come to see her; I came to congratulate you. Can I help it if she just happened to be in the same room with you? Undressing?"

"Buffy?"

Clearing her throat she looked at the closed door and raised her voice, "Yes?"

"Do you have any shaving gel?"

"Yeah! It should be in the cabinet!"

"Thanks!"

Keeping his glittering eyes trained on her lovely face Angelus laughingly asked, "Taking a plain, little dove under your wing?"

Hotly defending her friend Buffy retorted in a harsh whisper, "She's not plain!"

"You're absolutely correct. In fact, she's rather alluring in a cute and wholesome way."

 _Did he follow me there and hear everything? But how come I didn't feel him? I didn't even feel him come into my room. Maybe it's just a coincidence._ Crossing her arms she tilted her head and asked, "Are you trying to piss me off? Or is this another one of your jealousy games?"

Pushing off the wall he gracefully approached her and placed his hand on her shoulder. Leaning forward he kissed the side of her neck and smiled when her heartbeat sped up. "It could be both…or maybe neither." Running his tongue up the smooth column he huskily admitted, "I love seeing your jealousy and being an observer of women it seems we'll be destined to play the game."

Closing her eyes from the heat his touches were producing Buffy forced her voice to sarcastically comment, "So basically what you're saying is that you're pig and because of it I'll always be jealous?"

Lightly nipping her chin Angelus met her eyes and unrepentantly grinned. "Yep!"

Winding her fingers in the back of his hair she briskly tugged and warned, "Just as long as you make sure your observations stay just that we'll be fine. And next time you happen to come across one of my friends undressing you turn around and close your eyes."

Wrapping his strong arms around her lean waist he abruptly lifted her up and whispered, "Feisty! I like it!"

Smothering her giggle, lest Willow hear, Buffy quickly kissed his cheek and asked, "What time do you want me over?"

Setting her down he smirked and answered, "What makes you think I want you over tonight?"

A tiny curl of uncertainty unfurled inside of her heart before being ignored. "You're here, aren't you?" Suddenly she remembered Joyce and fearfully asked, "Does Mom know you're here?" Holding her breath she prayed the answer would be no.

"No she doesn't, so your secret is safe lover."

Hearing the water turn off she began pushing Angelus towards the window. "I'll be over after midnight."

Digging his heels in he frowned and pointed out, "I'll tell you when to come over Buff-not the other way around."

Thinking about their new arrangement she heaved a soft sigh and replied, "When would you like me over?"

"Now."

Eyes widening in surprise she sought to buy more time. "Willow! Try some new lotion I just bought! It's by the sink!"

"Alright!"

Turning towards her lover she squeaked, "Now? Now?"

"Have you developed a stutter dear? I know a fine way to exacerbate it," he suggested lewdly.

Ignoring his risqué comment she leaned closer and stated, "I can't leave with you now! Willow's here and Cordelia and Xander are on their way!"

In a bored tone Angelus haughtily replied, "What do I care? I came to get you and that's final."

"I can't." Seeing his dark expression was implacable Buffy placed both hands on his chest and beseechingly murmured, "I can't ditch my friends tonight. Don't put me in this position."

Drawing his dark eyes in a frown he growled in reminder, "Your first loyalty is to me."

"Angelus…please? I promise I'll be back by 10:30." Wrapping her arms around his waist she pleaded, "Please let me do this. I never ask you for anything, so please?"

Peering deeply into her eyes Angelus could find no trace of deceit or manipulation. Her pleading was so unlike her the vampire was rather surprised. If anything she yelled, brooded, threatened, or a combination of all three to demand her will, but at the moment she was being submissive. He liked it.

"If I let you go, will you give me something in return?"

Warily looking up she softly asked, "What?"

"If I tell you then we're negotiating terms and that's not allowed. I let you go to the Bronze without a problem you give me something I want. It's as simple as that."

Looking towards the still-closed door Buffy chewed on her lip before nodding her head. "As long as it's not anything that goes against my calling, okay."

Laughing softly he wondered, "Did you think I'd ask for something like a tasty toddler in return?" The utter revulsion in her eyes suddenly affected him in a way not to his liking. _She's looking at me as if I'm a monster. In her eyes right now I am._ Pulling her arms off he lightly pushed her away and coldly tossed out, "Do whatever you want lover as long as you're there by midnight." Before she could utter another sound he was gone.

"Buffy!" Seeing the utter sadness in her friend's eyes Willow concernedly asked, "What's wrong?"

Shaking her head she forced another familiar smile to her lips and answered, "Nothing. I just got lost in memories that's all."

Giving a sympathetic nod the red head was about to offer sympathy when the rude blare of a car horn sounded. "Guess that's Cordy's taxi service." Gently touching the Slayer's arm she asked, "You sure you want to go out tonight?"

Mentally shrugging off her hurt Buffy said, "Definitely! After all, how often to we get to celebrate the voiding of a prophecy? C'mon-let's go." Both girls made their way down the stairs tossing out a cheerful, "Bye Mom! Bye Ms. Summers!"

Entering the car Buffy closed an ear to Cordelia's rant of "My God! What do you guys think I am? Oh, let's decide to go somewhere else-it's okay. Cordelia doesn't care, after all she's just here to be our taxi!" Settling in the back seat she thought, _What got him so pissed? Is he just trying to ruin my night? Well screw that! I'm gonna have fun and I'm not going to obsess over what made him so mad._ However, as they drove away Buffy couldn't help, but wonder, _Why'd he get so cold?_

The rest of the night was spent in frantic merriment, the five teens grasping their reprieve from danger with two fists. Oz's breakout theory concerning practice brought moderate results, but the Dingoes were one step further to enlightenment. Buffy's dancing feet were kept to a minimum, which she laughed off as to "I'm just having way too much fun hanging out with you guys!"

However, during one point when the laughter died down Buffy couldn't help but experience a moment of melancholy. Looking out to her friends hugging each other close during the requisite slow dance tune, she remembered what it had been like to hold the one she loved close.

Thoughtfully sipping her soda she wondered what if Angel hadn't left before feeling a momentary rush of guilt. _I used to feel guilty when I thought of Angelus, now I feel guilty when I think of Angel. Why do I have to treat them as separate people?_

" _ **Did you think I'd ask for something like a tasty toddler in return?"**_

Setting her drink down she rapidly blinked back her tears and thought, _That's why. Angel would NEVER even think of doing something so horrible, much less joking about it._ Throwing her head back she forced a smile to her lips and immediately straightened her shoulders. _What the hell am I moping about for? I just got told my prophecy is dead, instead of myself, and I'm whining about my boyfriend! Wuss!_

Afterwards Buffy treated the night as any 17 year-old would. Consequences? What were those? With the music throbbing and the laughter flowing, the five friends saw curfew come too quickly.

Strolling out the door she felt someone's eyes on her, but when she turned back all she saw was the same milling crowd as before. _Is someone really there, or am I just hoping it's Angelus watching me from the shadows. That's why I didn't dance with anyone; the only hands I want on my body are his._

"You missing him?"

Jerking her head to the side Buffy's panicked gaze met Oz's calm blue eyes. "What?"

Slowing his walk until Willow, Xander, and Cordelia were several yards ahead the werewolf repeated, "You missing Angel?"

Commanding her body to relax she softly murmured, "Why do you ask?"

"Willow told me you were pretty sad tonight and well, the wolf is getting stronger."

 _I understand now._ Keeping her voice low, Buffy stated, "You can smell his scent on me."

Ducking his head slightly, Oz replied, "It's a little stronger tonight than usual-but it's probably because...well, you know." "The wolf is getting stronger, right." Blindly staring at the backs of her friends she wondered if he truly had no idea of her activities. If he could smell Angelus' scent, couldn't he smell him on other parts of her body? Casually swinging her arms Buffy admitted, "I do miss him, I won't ever stop, but…"

"But it's not something you really want to talk about." Despite her relaxed position Oz could intuitively sense the discomfort radiating from his friend. "I don't want to pry or anything, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone."

Looking up in surprise, Buffy's pink mouth parted while her slender brows drew together in a confused frown. "Really?"

"Yeah, really."

Before she could form a reply Willow looked over her shoulder and called out cheerfully, "C'mon you guys! We're going to get doughnuts before curfew ends."

"Looks like we have a date with our sweet tooth." Oz took a few steps forward before Buffy called out, "Oz!"

Looking over his shoulder he raised a brow in friendly curiosity.

"Thanks." Gracing him with a dazzling smile Buffy didn't realize her beauty had shifted into something ethereal.

Oz's mouth dropped slightly as his senses wildly careened with the knowledge that something was prowling about the edges of bestial consciousness.

Turning away Buffy's smile faded into an expression of contentment, leaving her face as normal as before. The young werewolf doubted his intuition in that moment, confused and misled by what he believed was true. _She looked…perfect…inhuman…almost like a vampire…or something immortal…but she's just a Slayer. Human. Or something._

"Buffy, my feet are really hurting."

"Sorry, Will, but it'll turn into pure torture in a few minutes," she answered sympathetically.

"Aww!"

"It's better to have blisters on your feet and fashionably look somewhat decent than wear the mutant-clothes you usually do," Cordelia injected in her oh-so-helpful way.

Peering down her fine nose loftily, the redhead opened her mouth and saucily replied, "You know Cordelia-never mind."

Catching up to the amicably cantankerous group, Buffy's eyes bulged in disbelief as she breathed, "Willow, oh my god, is that…maturity…you just showed?"

"Maybe it is-ow!" Stopping in mid-step, the redhead curled her toes in pain.

Shaking himself from his stupor, Oz loped forward with his trademark small grin and gallantly picked up his little witch.

"Whoa, dude! Remember our innocent eyes here! We can't see all these displays of public affection," Xander remarked while shielding said innocent eyes.

Wrapping her arms around her savior's neck, Willow dryly murmured, "I'm sure I'm speaking for the rest of us when I say your eyes may be innocent, but your tongue was pretty lewd in the Bronze."

Brightly laughing, Buffy joined in the gang, including Cordelia, when they crowed, "Guilty!"

Making their way to the 24-hour sweet shop, the teens stuffed themselves to the point of nausea, laughing at nothing and everything. Casually looking out the large, plate-glass window, Buffy thought, _This is the way it should be. We should just be a group of kids just out having a great time-without worrying about demons and monsters. So why does something seem off? Is it because of Angelus or something else?_

The Slayer's thoughtful ruminations drew to a halt when her arm flew up and immediately caught the piece of sticky goodness flying towards her head. "Hey! You could put out my innocent eye with this!"

"Whoa, good reflexes you got there Buff," Xander sheepishly pointed out. "I was actually trying to get Oz."

Tossing the pastry back to her 'attacker' Buffy shrugged and said, "Carry on." After a brief, but tasty skirmish, the next minutes were spent discussing the merits of glazed versus jelly, the real-life benefits of algebra (legend or authentic), and summer vacation plans.

Unfortunately, as was the case with all good things, their night of celebration ended as 10:30 drew to a close. After seeing everyone home safely, Buffy strolled up to her house just in time to see a strange vehicle in the driveway. Eying it curiously, she was about to walk through her front door only to meet Angelus on his way out.

The energy between them instantly crackled with lust. The dark vampire wore the somber garb of a conservative man, nothing too flashy, yet his male beauty burned brightly against the simple canvas of black sweater, gray slacks, and highly polished shoes. His charcoal overcoat emphasized the broadness of his wide shoulders, instantly bringing memories to Buffy's mind of the taste of his naked skin.

Angelus' dark eyes danced with amusement as the scent of her arousal permeated the crisp, night air. His fine nostrils flared, telling her without words that he enjoyed the fragrance of her need.

Before the Slayer could say a word, Joyce came behind him and smiled brightly at the sight of her daughter. "Buffy! You made it home on time!"

Avoiding her lover's black gaze, she shrugged casually and said, "If you want, I can go back out to the Bronze and come in an hour after curfew."

"Buffy!" Apologetically smiling to Angelus, she murmured, "Teens just have their way."

Turning his enigmatic countenance on her, his voice was polite as a tutor's should be, but the words he smoothly uttered made her pulse jump. "That they will, but that's why I love…them…the way I do." Flashing a small smile over his shoulder, he added, "At least, that's why I love working with them."

Rubbing her arms because of the cold air, Joyce admonished her daughter to, "Come in, Buffy. It's freezing out there." Not waiting to see if her motherly command was obeyed, she bid a friendly farewell to Angelus. "Thanks for stopping by, Angel. Your report was informative and we'll be able to put it to good use."

"My pleasure, Joyce." Briefly laying his hand on Buffy's shoulder, he reminded her, "Don't forget we have a session on Wednesday at 7:00."

Maintaining her polite expression, she nodded. "Sure. See you then." Her veins shivered with delight, awakening instantly to begin pulsing in a primal cry for mutual satisfaction. _It's been almost a whole day since he bit me. I wonder if he's hungry. Maybe that was why he was so damned crabby._ Gazing at him breathlessly, her thoughts suddenly became dark. _Hold up. Why the fuck is he here? He knew I was going to be gone. Is that why he came over? Did he sneak over to see my mom?_

If he was aware of his lover's souring mood, Angelus did not acknowledge it at all. "Alright then, I'll see you both on Wednesday." Brushing by Buffy, he spoke in such a low voice human ears would never hear his command, but she certainly did. "Wear them tonight."

Walking through the door, she didn't bother to see him get in his car or even leave. _What was he doing here?_ When her mother asked, "Are you hungry?" Buffy answered, "Not really. I'm stuffed with doughnuts."

It took every ounce of her control to pretend that she had not been ready to claw both her mother and Angelus beyond recognition a second ago. _What the HELL was he doing here?_ Rubbing her neck in a gesture of tiredness, Buffy yawned widely. _Why the fuck didn't she tell me he was coming? Did she call him or did he just come over?_

But Buffy couldn't say a single word. Her 'relationship' was a dirty secret, which could never be brought into the hallowed light of innocent reality and painless truth.

"Look what Angel prepared for you." Waiting until her daughter accepted the folder, Joyce continued enthusiastically, "After taking all the scores you've earned this year, and taking in account all the future opportunities you'll have, he's projected what you need to make in order to not only pass, but to earn an A this semester, and bring up your average."

Dumbly looking down at the colorful graph and accompanying spreadsheet, Buffy asked, "Angelu-Angel made this?"

Making an affirmative sound, Joyce came over and pointed out, "Look at this as well. He even listed what your strengths and weaknesses were."

In emotionless ink and perfectly printed characters, Angelus' tutor opinion sat on the paper for her to read unflinchingly.

 _ **Buffy has a quick mind for retaining what events in history have occurred. She can quickly dissect causes and effects with a maturity that is rarely seen at her age. With total dedication, Buffy could ultimately become an expert in all things historical. Armed with her natural gifts, she could realistically attain the qualifications needed to go into a variety of fields. Some career options for her are becoming an educator, consultant, archaeologist, or curator.**_

Reading the lines he had composed, Buffy experienced a sensation of confusing warmth. _Does he really think that or is he just bullshitting my mom? Intelligence has never been one of my key qualities. Does he really think I'm smart?_

Her mouth curled slightly upon reading the next set.

 _ **Buffy's weaknesses, unfortunately, are many. She cannot see the importance of her education, so she loses focus quite easily. Her arrogance concerning the material is most undesirable. Like so many of her generation, because she doesn't see the significance of the lesson, she believes it to be unworthy of her time.**_

Reading the same paragraph as her daughter, Joyce shook her head and murmured in slight reproach, "I hated seeing it in print, but then again, I can believe it."

"Gee, thanks, Mom," the younger girl muttered sarcastically. _Of course, I lose my focus. He's stroking the whip in his hand like a pet! How can I concentrate on fifteenth century politics with that going on? And as far as arrogance, well, hello Mr. Pot!_

"Sorry, Honey, but it's the truth." Averting another sour comment, she quickly pointed out, "Did you read his recommendations?"

Letting out an irritated sigh, she answered, "Not yet." _What will he say? That I should be whipped with a crop at least three times a week?_ Glancing further down the page, Buffy silently read her 'tutor's' suggestions for improvement with a grim eye.

 _ **It is my opinion that Buffy's tutoring sessions increase from once a week to three. I also believe the lessons should increase in time as well. At this point, she is in need of firm direction in order to combat the above weaknesses. However, I am completely confident that not only will Buffy meet the outlined expectations, she will undoubtedly surpass them.**_

 _I was just being sarcastic about the three times a week!_ Looking up from the paper in her hand, Buffy asked in a neutral tone, "So is this what you guys talked about?"

"Pretty much." Taking the report, Joyce reread it again before stating, "I agree with Angel. Today's test proves you are capable of A's."

"Angel's going to be coming here then." _Three times a week. This can't be good. What if Willow or Xander drops by unexpectedly? I'm not supposed to be seeing him. What if Mom mentions it to one of them?_

"Yes." Raising her gaze, the elder Summers murmured, "Or you'll go the library with him."

"The library?" _What did he tell her? She's just going to send me off with a stranger?_

Making a distracted sound, Joyce nodded and glanced at her watch. "It's pushing 11:00pm. You need to get to bed or you'll be SO tired tomorrow."

 _Wear them tonight._ Smiling softly, Buffy agreed. "Okay, Mom. Goodnight." _There isn't shit I can do about it right now. I can't even yell at her for having him here. In Mom's eyes Angel is just my tutor. Which reminds me…_

"Um, Mom?"

"Yes, Buffy?"

"Could you, uh, do me a favor?"

"Sure."

"Could you, uh, not say, uh, mention Angel to anybody?"

A small frown of confusion creased her mother's brow as she cocked her head slightly. "I'm afraid I don't understand, Buffy."

The twisting of her small hands was not artifice, but true discomfort. "Well, it's kind of embarrassing to have a tutor. I don't want Willow and Xander, or anybody, to know."

Slowly nodding her head, Joyce murmured, "Okay, but don't they already know about your tutoring? Especially since you stay after school so much with Mr. Giles?"

 _That's true! Argh! Think quick._ "I mean they do know about that, it's just, well, it would be embarrassing if they knew I needed MORE tutoring."

A light of understanding glimmered in her mother's fine eyes. "I see." Patting her daughter lightly on the arm, she reassured Buffy with, "I won't mention Angel to them at all."

Sincere relief transformed the Slayer's pretty face. "Thanks, Mom." Impulsively she leaned forward and quickly left a kiss on Joyce's cheek. "That takes such a load off my mind."

Delighted at the spontaneous show of affection she smiled indulgently and replied, "I'm glad to have helped."

With a last smile Buffy turned away and called out, "Goodnight!"

"Goodnight, Honey." Holding onto the report, Joyce began walking towards her office, apparently with the intention of filing away Angel's suggestions when she stopped. "I love you!"

Pausing on a step, Buffy leaned over the railing and called back, "Love you too!" Making her way up the stairs she felt conflicted. Her jealousy was a sick beast growing inside, throwing venomous strands of distrust about her spirit. One minute she viewed Joyce as a rival, the next she viewed her as a nurturing mother. What was the truth? _Do I trust her or not? How can I even be angry wit her when she doesn't know?_

Walking into her room she sat on the bed with a heavy heart. Tonight should be one of pure joy! She no longer had a deadly prophesy hanging over her head. She was embarking on the next step of becoming the greatest Slayer in history. While Giles had been sure to keep her ego in check, he had flatly come out and told her, _You have the ability and heart to become the strongest in your lineage._

Flopping back, Buffy couldn't shake off her heavy heart. _Damn. I get so tired of whining and being angsty all the time. What is my problem?_ Rolling over she let out a disgusted sigh. A sliver of uncertainty had ground itself inside her mind, arousing instincts that prowled about the edges of her comfort zone incessantly.

Absently tracing a pattern on the bedspread with her finger, she closed her eyes in weariness. _Something isn't right. Maybe it's the guilt inside. I've become Angelus' mistress and no one can ever know. That's probably what's bothering me. On the night of my greatest escape, there's one thing I can't escape-no matter what._

In an inaudible voice she murmured, "Would a strong Slayer truly have a weak heart weak mine? You think I'm special Giles, but I'm not."

Half-heartedly shedding her clothes, Buffy dreaded the minutes passing by. Once her mother checked in on her, she would have to leave. _And go where? Go hunting for vampires that won't come because Angelus ordered them to stay away?_ Mechanically going through her absolutions in the bathroom, she showered quickly and readied herself for bed.

Pulling the blankets over her bare shoulder, she didn't bother to go through the motions of putting on pajamas. Staring into the darkness she wondered if this is what her soul looked like: hazy and barely discernible through the blackness shrouding everything that once looked bright.

 _It's my weakness for him. I'm miserable and sick with love for Angelus. A part of me hates it, but the other likes the way I feel when I'm with him. I like not having control. I like him being responsible for everything. That way, it's not my fault._

Closing her eyes, Buffy felt a sob rise in her throat. _This is what I've amounted to. On the night of my salvation I found myself sinking further into my own hell._ Choking back her tears, she willed the pain away, even as the golden links about her waist and thighs reminded her who she had become. The ugly truth stemming from all the salty tears she refused to release was that given the chance she would never walk away from him. The other night proved it. Angelus had extended the offer of freedom and instead of pouncing on it-she crawled back to his heavy hand.

Minutes passed as she suffered beneath her familiar shame and guilt. _What will he do to me tonight? What will I do to myself?_ Eventually Joyce came in, smoothing the covers over her still form, not knowing that beneath her loving touch Buffy's pain increased. _Do you like him, Mom? Do you see Angel as a man you would want?_

Once it was safe, she slid from the bed and noiselessly crept towards her closet and opened the door. Pulling box after box, she soon had a gaily-wrapped offering of servitude at her feet.

Gingerly holding a small package in her fingers, Buffy morosely stared at the pretty box for several moments before releasing an inaudible sigh. _Ah…I love this man…demon…creature…whatever he is. I love him. So why do I continue this useless game of conscience?_

Untying the delicate silver ribbon, she was unable to suppress the tingling of unwanted excitement inside. Angelus had gotten this for her. It could be a priceless jewel or small flower he plucked off the side of the road, but whatever it was it would inspire the same amount of joy within her heart.

Lifting the sturdy lid, Buffy's nose was immediately seduced by gentle tendrils of scent wafting out. Reaching in she pulled out a small, but exquisitely made bottle of perfume. Uncapping the frosted glass lid, the beautiful liquid bouquet brushed her nose, beckoning her to anoint her body with its fragrance.

Gently setting the precious gift on the floor, Buffy went about opening up the other presents with barely contained enthusiasm. Soon finely made stockings, silver panties constructed with a wisp of silk fabric, beautifully arched shoes, precious hair adornments, a small handbag, and unknown, yet remarkably fine cosmetics lay sprawled across her crossed legs.

"My God, Angelus. Where did you get all this?" Her feminine wonder was matched only by the feelings of breathless awe that her vampire had picked out every gift with her in mind. Reaching forward she carefully pulled a large box across the floor and set about undoing the wrapping and ribbons. Unfolding the delicate tissue paper, Buffy let out a gasp of wonder. Nestled within its privileged folds lay an exquisite strapless dress.

Gently placing her other gifts on the floor, she stood up and held the silver creation against her body. Although the iridescent lines were simple, she knew it would be absolutely lovely on her figure. Spying the last box, Buffy carefully put her dress on the bed, making sure it was in no danger of sliding off, before crouching before her last token of vampiric affection.

With bated breath, she wondered at what else Angelus could've gotten her. Her slender brows creased in confusion as she pulled heavy brocade fabric out of the box. Holding it away from her Buffy realized that it was a cloak, not unlike the one he had given her once before. _On that night…_

Instantly her mind shied away from the night of her disgrace, instead wanting to keep it trained on the thorny beauty of her present love. _It's over. It happened. We're different. I don't need to keep thinking about it._

Trying to compartmentalize her feelings, Buffy desperately trained her eyes on the beautiful cloth in her hands, but the locket of grief refused to close completely. _I'll get over it. I know I will. Besides, it's not like it was a stranger off the street. It was Angelus._

If the words rang with hollow consideration, Buffy refused to acknowledge it.

Focusing on the cloak, she saw how several different shades of silver thread were woven together to create a precious tapestry of elegance. Peering closer, Buffy recognized the griffins scattered across were the same as the one emblazoned on Angelus' shoulder.

Rubbing her cheek against the material, she wondered silently how long he had held this for her. Walking over to the bed, she reverently laid it down next to the gown before making her way to the door. Locking it against any unexpected motherly appearances, Buffy set about preparing herself.

Scooping up the cosmetics, she quietly entered the bathroom and turned on the lights. Her blond locks were only slightly damp now, but it would have to stay that way because she couldn't risk turning on the hair dryer. Pinning it into a chignon she remembered the hair jewels. Finding them on the floor she chided herself for being so careless. Plucking them up she walked back into the bathroom and securely pinned them into the mass of contained hair.

Tilting her head she eyed the sparkling light in the mirror with admiration. _I wonder if they're diamonds._ Buffy remembered when she asked about the genuineness of the sapphires around her waist, Angelus had bristled with insult. _They're probably real, but either way I better not ask._

Applying the makeup with delicate strokes, Buffy became entranced with the delicious smell of translucent powder, glimmering shadow, and colored wax. Her hazel eyes become dark and mysterious beneath the inky paint, her skin perfectly pale with a hint of shimmer, and her lips ripe and luscious with the barest hint of red.

Walking back into her room, Buffy applied the perfume at all her pulse points. Looking down, she slowly parted her thighs and boldly scented the dark curls hiding her feminine treasure. Hiding the bottle, she then slipped on the undergarments, realizing the stockings would stay firmly in place courtesy of discreet bands of elastic.

Staring at her image in the mirror, Buffy's breath caught. She was undeniably an erotic sight to behold. The chains around her waist made her look decadent, especially with only a tiny thong and silver stockings.

Putting on the dress with hushed wonder, she delighted in the sensation of the light material settling over her body perfectly. Slipping her slim feet into her shoe's delicate arches, Buffy adjusted the hem of the dress until she was satisfied with the effect. Even though the waist was fitted, she couldn't see the outline of her chains through the fabric. Shifting this way and that, her mouth couldn't resist the temptation to impishly smile.

Reverently settling the cloak across her bare shoulders, Buffy adjusted the intricately hammered clasp before gazing upon her reflection with wonder. _I look like a princess!_ At no other time before did she wish to have born in another era where women had the ability to wear such utterly gorgeous clothes all the time.

Picking up all the wrapping and ribbons, Buffy stuffed them in her closet so she could get rid of the evidence later. Giving her room one final glance, she was satisfied that everything was as it should be. Eyeing her gown and then the window, she decided to walk out the back door this time. Remembering the handbag Buffy heard a small clanking. Opening it in curiosity, a bemused smile twisted her lips. Two gleaming stakes were nestled within.

 _Angelus…I swear I'll never understand you._

Silently making her way out of her room and down the stairs, Buffy grabbed her keys and slipped them into her bag, hoping her mother wouldn't wake up thirsty in the middle of the night and notice them gone.

Stepping out into the crisp winter night, she soundlessly made her way to Angelus' lair. As she strode past one of many cemeteries, the Slayer felt the urge to perform her sacred duty. Looking at her costly attire, she thought, _If I go I'll end up dragging my dress through the mud._

Chewing on her lip she stared into the dark shadows, imagining a legion of hungry vampires just waiting for her to walk by just so they could suck innocent Sunnydale dry. Giving her beautiful gown one last wistful look, Buffy set her jaw in determination and entered the graveyard. Although Angelus was confident his order against attacking her was enough, he failed to miss the reality of her calling.

 _It's not about me._

An hour later Buffy came out slightly dusty and her heels were scuffed and scratched from leaping on headstones. However, seven vampires had been dusted and two would-be victims saved. Because of her attire one of them assumed she was an avenging ghost and that was fine with the Slayer.

The less who knew what she was doing, the better.

Although she wasn't absolutely sure, it seemed safe to assume that it was past midnight. Smoothing her hair and dress Buffy attempted to wipe the dust off of her. She had barely broken into a light sweat during slaying so other than wiping her brow, she was as set as she was going to be. Scurrying through the streets she reached his building within minutes and buzzed the door, acknowledging the nervousness whispering in her veins.

All too soon an unknown doorman came and politely ushered her in.

Her heels echoed throughout the deserted foyer, making her wonder if the man had any idea where she was going and why. Feeling her cheeks flush, Buffy walked into the elevator and entered the requisite code. The purr of mechanical gears filled her ears as she ascended up towards her vampire lover.

As the elevator passed each floor, Buffy's heartbeat grew louder and the ever-present lust stretched its sweet claws across her sensitive skin. Finally the doors slid open with an inviting hiss, revealing a darkened vestibule.

Stepping forward her sensitive ears attempted to detect Angelus, only to come up empty. The entire floor was surely as silent as the tomb he once crawled out of. Lifting the hem of her dress, Buffy carefully walked up the stairs and through the open doorway, before pausing at the top.

Numerous candles alighted every available surface, gothic in its dramatic appeal. Walking down each step, she gazed about the cavernous room, noting how different it looked every time she came here. One night it was eclectic and sophisticated, another coolly degenerate, and now mysteriously medieval.

Reaching the last step, Buffy finally spotted Angelus slouched on a large sofa. The dark vampire was slumbering with a peaceful look on his handsome face; his legs negligently sprawled with one laid straight and the other skimming the floor. As usual he was dressed in black, the velvet shirt partway opened to expose the smooth skin of his neck. Approaching him with fascinated caution, Buffy delicately ran the tips of her fingers across his unlined brow. _He's going to look like he's in his 20s forever, while I'm going to get older and then die._

Tormented love darkened her hazel eyes. Tracing his perfect lips she gave into temptation and carefully sat next to him. Seeing that Angelus didn't stir, Buffy lifted his head onto her lap gently, halfway expecting him to spring up with claws and fangs. Instead he nuzzled his cheek against her thigh and murmured, "Safe."

Shock crossed Buffy's expressive face. _Does he know it's me?_ Passing her fingers over strands of her lover's silky hair, she felt a swell of emotion go through her heart. _I may die, but it's not going to be tonight._ Leaning over him she continued to stroke Angelus' head, content with touching him like this. A note of surprise flickered in her mind as she realized this was probably one of the first times she had been within 10 feet of Angelus without lust beating a merry tune within her body.

Minutes passed in tender devotion, Buffy's fingers consciously memorizing the shape and feel of his devastatingly handsome face. The silence wove a net of rare intimacy, catching her completely within its silken grasp. _I wish I could tell you about today. I wish I could share my happiness, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid you won't understand or worse-won't care. I'm so tired of always being afraid of my feelings. I'm the strongest girl on Earth and yet…_

As if sensing her growing melancholy, Angelus stirred. Halting in her thoughts Buffy took advantage of the moment to press a gentle kiss against his mouth. He returned the caress immediately, nipping her lips lightly, while keeping his eyes closed.

Opening his eyes, Angelus found himself enraptured by the tender adoration he found in Buffy's eyes. Falling into their exquisitely pure depths, the lines between reality and the dreamscape he had just traveled melded into one another seamlessly.

" _ **Safe. You're safe."**_

" _ **You came. They told me you wouldn't."**_

" _ **Safe."**_

" _ **I'm sorry that I believed them."**_

" _ **I can't risk you anymore."**_

" _ **Angelus?"**_

" _ **Close your eyes, my love."**_

 _BUFFY!_ The dark vampire's eyes glittered dangerously and a snarl escaped his lips as he lunged towards her delicate neck.

Buffy's surprised scream was broken as she found herself more than 100 feet away, crouched on the stairs and ready to fight or flee. A small part of her distantly wondered how she had moved so quickly without thinking, but she was too busy with judging what Angelus was planning.

Mirroring her position he felt the wildness recede as the room faded from the wrecked remnants of glass and steel into his Sunnydale residence. Shifting into his human visage, Angelus gracefully stood up and asked quietly, "What took you so fucking long?"

Warily rising to her full height Buffy answered, "Excuse me?"

"I specifically told you to be here by midnight and you come traipsing in here," pausing he scanned the room and found a small, table clock. "After one."

Narrowing her eyes in irritated caution she pointed out, "Is that all you have to say?"

Strolling towards the substantial dining table he replied, "I'm waiting for an explanation."

"Well so am I!"

Finally looking over his shoulder he showed annoyance. "And why do you want one?"

Jabbing a finger towards her neck Buffy cried, "For trying to rip out my throat! Why else you…psycho!"

With a shrug he explained in an airy voice, "I was asleep. You're a Slayer. Call it instinct."

Screwing her nose up in frustration she muttered, "Yeah, whatever. I'm so out of here."

Seating himself at the head of the table Angelus coldly stated, "If you take one step up I'll make it so that you can't sit down for the rest of the night."

Turned halfway around Buffy felt hesitation war with defiance.

"You know I keep my word, lover."

Staring at the open archway with mixed longing she fought the trembling in her womb and the fury in her mind. _He gets nasty with me earlier, attacks me for no reason and then expects me to docilely scurry up to him as if nothing happened?_

"My patience is wearing thin, Buff."

"So is mine. I want to go home. I'm tired."

"Bullshit."

 _Who am I trying to kid? I would rather be here than go home._ Heaving a resigned sigh she reluctantly trudged down the steps, hating that she always gave into him.

A snide chuckle drifted through the air, halting Buffy in her tracks. "I'm glad you came to the right decision, Baby."

The smugness of his tone riled her instantly. _Goddamned asshole!_ Flinging her head back she mentally swore, _Fuck that! I'm tired of being subjected to his moods. If he can't at least be civilized, then I'm out of here._ Empowered by her triumph over Acrymydion the Slayer emotionlessly stated, "I don't need to take this shit Angelus. Goodnight."

With a mocking curtsy she spun on her heel and forced herself to walk, instead of run, away. The air became charged with fury before disappearing. Keeping her gaze trained ahead her ears strained to hear the slightest change of sound.

Angelus suddenly appeared at the bottom of the stairs. "I'm disappointed."

Stopping she steeled herself for the battle which was surely about to ensue. "About what?"

"About your word. About how little respect you show for your word." Crossing his arms he peered at her with barely veiled disdain. "Does the following spark the tiniest bit of recognition? _Alright. I want in completely._ Hmm?"

 _I agreed to submit completely. Shit! What was I thinking?_

Pouncing on the recognition spreading across her face, Angelus cooed, "I see it does. Yet, not even one night later you're already hell-bent on defying me."

Dropping her head slightly, Buffy belatedly remembered her promise. _I wanted to have the chance to relinquish all responsibility._ Looking up into his inky eyes she felt her stomach flip with forbidden excitement as the frustrated anger melted away. _Defiance and acceptance. Pain and pleasure. Good and bad. Slayer and vampire. Master and slave. Two sides of the same coin._

Tipping her chin with one finger, Angelus murmured, "Once again your pride dominates you. Tonight we'll see if it remains a problem." With an enigmatic smile he turned away.

Watching his retreating back, Buffy trailed after him like a moth to the proverbial flame.

He resumed his seat at the table, watching with mixed amusement as she drew to a stop. "Is something wrong?"

The wood's dark surface drew her eye, bringing excruciating memory to the surface of her mind.

" _ **Since you won't tell me how it feels, maybe you'll show all of THEM."**_

" _ **Not in front of them! You can't do this!"**_

" _ **Oh but lover-I am!"**_

" _ **I'll kill you! Do you hear me?! I'll kill you if you do this!"**_

" _ **Ssshh...baby, there's no need to cry...there's no need to be shy...you have such a beautiful body...you won't answer my question with words...answer me with yourself...ssshh..."**_

" _ **Angelus, I'm sorry...I'll tell you whatever you want to know...I'll say whatever you want me to say...Just don't do this to me."**_

" _ **If only I could Buff-but you left me with no choice. We have to see the end of this. The time for talking is over."**_

"What's wrong Buff? You look so pale."

Raising her eyes to meet his, she whispered, "I hate that table."

Idly glancing over he murmured, "You do? Mmm…I can see why." Smiling viciously, Angelus cheerfully added, "But no matter. Hop on, darling."

"What?"

Gesturing with his hand he clarified: "Let me take a look at you. Stand up on the table."

Breathing in deeply, Buffy clenched her hands once before releasing them. _I agreed to this. I wanted to experience him like this._ Calmly walking towards her destination she didn't look at Angelus as she gracefully leapt onto the table, despite her clothing and shoes.

Leaning his head against the high-back chair with a negligent air, Angelus slowly whistled. "Oh Buff, look at what you've done to your pretty dress."

Feeling her cheeks pinken Buffy didn't need to look down to see what he was referring to. Her hem was completely dusty, her shoes scuffed with bits of leaves still clinging to her stockings.

"I couldn't resist trying to turn you into a lady, but my little Slayer had other ideas, didn't she?"

Raising her chin a bit, Buffy replied, "Dirty clothes come with the territory."

Dark amusement flared across his ageless features. "There's no need to raise that delightful chin at me, lover. I'm well aware of your values." Reaching out to inspect her cloak he asked musingly, "So tell me. Did they give you any problems?"

Glancing down at Angelus' silky head, she answered, "They fought back."

Flicking a patch of caked mud off, he slid his gaze upwards. "How many did you stake?"

"Seven."

A beautiful smile curled his lips while his eyes brightened with an unnamed emotion. "Do you like your gifts?"

Reaching out with a small hand, she cupped his lean cheek and sincerely answered, "I did. Thank you. They were beautiful."

Accepting the caress, Angelus replied, "I'm glad to hear that."

Expecting the usual arrogant answer, Buffy was taken aback. "Really?"

"Really." Standing up he lifted her hand to his mouth and brushed his mouth across the back delicately. "Alright, lover, now I want you to take it all off."

 _He wants me to take off all my clothes with him just watching?_ Hesitating for only a moment, she reached up to undo the cloak's clasp, feeling it slide off her shoulders before hitting the table with a muffled thud. _There isn't a part of me that he hasn't seen or touched-why should I struggle against it?_ Reaching behind she unzipped the dress and stepped out of it a mere second later. Modesty dominated her expression, causing Buffy to drop her gaze. Slipping her shoes off, she bent down at the waist to roll her stockings off.

Finally finished, she resisted the urge to cross her arms over her breasts and instead waited for Angelus' next command. The minutes took on a sluggish pace as she stood there in absolute silence. _What is he waiting for?_ Unable to stand the speculative stillness any longer, Buffy asked, "How did you get the cloak? I mean, how did you get the embroidery done?"

"Spider demoness."

"Spider demoness?"

"Hmm, yes. She's quite talented, wouldn't you agree? Myrna was able to produce all this within a couple of hours." Arching a dark brow he sternly warned, "Which, by the way, she's completely off-limits to you, Slayer."

Bristling she replied, "I wasn't aware you were my Watcher."

A cold smirk twisted his lips. "I wasn't aware you were in position to argue with me anymore."

"Personal and professional lives are separate. I'm not going to spare your…friends…just because you tell me to."

"Why not? After all, I did just that for you."

"That was different."

Sighing heavily, Angelus rolled his head back and shouted, "Buff…Buff…Buff! Why are we having this FUCKING conversation again?" Pinning her with a disgusted stare he stated, "I'm really getting tired of going over the same information over and over again. It bores me."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Buffy quietly replied, "Then quit trying to control everything I do." _Why am I baiting him?_

Angelus merely stared at her for several minutes, never changing his expression or his position.

Trying to hold his unblinking black gaze, Buffy could feel her defiant bravado fade, before it returned. _He doesn't tell me what to do when it comes to slaying._

"You say tomato and I say-get your ass back on that table!" Satisfied when she immediately froze Angelus stood up, stroked his chin, and smiled. "Lover, this is foreplay for you, isn't it?"

Taken aback she shook her head and answered, "No it's not."

"Of course it is." Lightly running his finger up her inner thigh, he grinned devilishly when the sweet scent of arousal permeated the air. "Your just like the reluctant lady-the more you say no now, the wetter you'll let yourself get later." Slapping her thigh with vicious force, Angelus purred, "Which is fine as fine gets, except that you no longer have the privilege of false denials just to soothe your conscience. We gone past that stage now."

Hissing from the sting of his large hand, Buffy gritted out, "I'm not spitting false denials. I agreed to be yours, but not to give up my slaying."

Stepping back Angelus tilted his head, watching her fingers gingerly stroke the spot of his playful violence. "And your slaying involves slaughtering all who did not have the fortune, or misfortune, to be born with the correct DNA." Picking up her dress he flung it in her face as he finished with, "Even elderly demonesses who hold no grudge against humans, who in fact adore providing them with unique creations to accentuate their innocent beauty."

Catching the gown before it hit her, Buffy guardedly asked, "How do you know? You're a demon and so is she. Maybe you just haven't-"

"Haven't what? Haven't seen the darker side of Myrna?" Caustically laughing he muttered, "She truly is as sweet as a grandma should be, Buff. She hasn't needed to feed for a couple of millennia and even before she was more of an avenging angel sort."

 _Angelus is confusing me. Giles has told me time and again all demons were evil. He drummed into my head that my calling is to protect humans from demons. Good demons don't exist. That's what he's told me._

Suddenly memories of the fight she had with Elissa came to mind. _**"Pimps, psychos, drug dealers-those sound like upright citizens to you? They deserve to die."**_

" _ **Says who? You can't go around deciding who lives and dies!"**_

" _ **But you can? You can decide that I deserve to die because I'm not human like you?"**_

"She's the last of her kind, lover, and do you know why she hasn't died?"

Feeling her stomach churn with an emotion akin to guilt, she answered, "Why?"

"Because she mourns the fact that there will be no one left to create and inspire. Her passion in life is to spin silk to be worn by the overpopulated beings who live on this rock. Do you really think that the most magnificent fashion coups were created by you humans? Please."

Clutching her arms, Buffy whispered, "You really do hate humans, don t you?"

Instantly Angelus shot back with, "You despise all demons as well!"

Swallowing her sadness, she came forward, reached out with one hand, and stroked his angry face. "Not all demons." Gazing into his eyes, she dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I love one particular demon more than anything else." _I don't want to fight anymore. I can't take it all in. I'm turning gray and I can't see the black and white._

Feeling his ire melt away, Angelus stared down at her bend head, and irritably sighed. _We're like scorpions who circle and sting each other. She's my mistress, I'm her lover, yet we can never see each other like that._ Stroking her naked back with one hand, he felt the dream haunt him, the sight of Buffy's face paling into death shaking him to the core.

No matter how much he wanted to fight it, she was burrowing deep within his being, becoming as natural a part of him as his fists and fangs were. Lifting her off the table, he kissed her pink mouth gently, enjoying the feeling of her small hand entwining within his hair.

Running his hand down her waist, Angelus encountered the delicate chains. Pulling on them lightly, he grinned in masculine appreciation as the sound of her moans sensuously entwined their silken arms around his mind. Running his lips across her smooth shoulder, he inhaled deeply and thought, _She's the sweetest creature I've ever had. Even though I'm a monster, even though I've treated her with vile affection, she loves me. And I need that. I don't want to need her, but I do. I'll never tell her, she'll never know, but I need her. I need her love. I need her to be human…forever._

" _ **I can't risk you anymore."**_

" _ **Angelus?"**_

" _ **Close your eyes, my love."**_

Tossing her on the table with rough precision, he ignored Buffy's gasp of surprise. "Angelus?"

"Ssh." Closing his mouth over hers, he swallowed all her cries of distress. Fumbling with the buttons on his shirt, Angelus grew impatient and ripped it off. He needed to be inside her.

"Mmm…no…st…Ang…not…here!" Pushing him away, Buffy scrambled from beneath him. Wiping her mouth she shook her head and cried, "Not here. Not on this table."

"Especially on this table." Crawling over her naked body, he used gentle persuasion instead of violence to keep Buffy still. Feathering his kisses over her brow, he murmured sweet declarations of adoration, while his hands eased her remembered fear. _I will take away the memories-for us both. I know I can._

Burying his mouth against the flesh of her neck, the dark vampire silently ordered for her capitulation. Buffy's limbs began to tremble, from desire and fear, whispering messages of frozen hesitation.

Staring up into the painted ceiling, she remembered the feelings of helplessness and betrayal. Although Angelus' mouth and hands were gentle and non-threatening, she could almost hear the cold laughter echoing in her ears.

" _ **I'm so excited to see this..."**_

" _ **I wonder if he'll make her bleed..."**_

" _ **Of course he'll share her! Angelus is the perfect host..."**_

" _ **You should've seen his palace in St. Petersburg..."**_

"Hold onto me. Let go of the hole inside your heart. Replace it with something good, something free."

His whisper was so understanding, so tender Buffy could feel the tears form in her eyes. "It's not as easy as that. Laying here now I can't believe that I ever let you touch me again. You took my dignity. You made me your whore in front of them. Every one saw me."

Lightly clasping her chin, Angelus passionately declared, "I proved you were mine! I protected you from their plots, Buff, in the only way that would make a difference. Do you have any idea how many enemies you have simply by being the Slayer?" _Why am I admitting this to her?_

Staring up into his black gaze, she searched for a glimmer of malicious deceit, only to come up empty. _He sounds as if he really does care for me too._

"We'll create a new memory, lover. Something pure, something just for us." Brushing back the lone tear sliding down her cheek, Angelus kissed each of her eyes, persuasive in its simplicity.

Her heart hammered like a caged bird fluttering its wings in the ghostly dream of freedom. "Something new."

"Something new." Touching her body with delicate strokes, Angelus worshipped every inch of Buffy, reassuring her when she needed it, all the while distancing the pain of memory with his intoxicating lust.

Hazily looking down, she shuddered with desire when his cool lips closed over her nipple. Arching against his beautiful mouth, Buffy pressed his dark head closer, gasping when he scraped his teeth across the point. Sliding her thighs open, she could feel her hips shifting with pent-up desire.

Rolling her head to the side, Buffy caught the ghostly images of another night, one where several creatures watched her fall with such cold fascination. Clenching her eyes shut, she silently chanted, _Something new. Something new. Something new._

" _ **I'm so excited to see this..."**_

" _ **I wonder if he'll make her bleed..."**_

" _ **Of course he'll share her! Angelus is the perfect host..."**_

" _ **You should've seen his palace in St. Petersburg..."**_

Petting the silky hair between her rigid thighs, Angelus murmured in a soothing tone, "It's alright now. Relax. Tonight is ours. No one else's."

Nodding her head, Buffy gasped in tormented pleasure as his mouth settled over her hip, biting it just shy of bloodletting. Her heart swelled with tragic adoration as she thought, _Why does he want this for us?_

Soon Angelus pushed her thighs wider, spreading them for his habitual feast. Leaning forward he ran his tongue along the alluring slit, parting her easily for more decadent play. When Buffy's fingers dug into his naked shoulders, he felt a reassurance he was unaware of needing.

The scent and taste of her already memorized, Angelus nonetheless pressed his face closer, intoxicated to the point of dizziness. Being with her was becoming a dangerous obsession, but he couldn't stop himself-didn't want to stop himself.

Rising above her, he found himself swooping down to kiss her fears away, needing her to forget his violation, instead wanting her to remember their pleasurable torments. Whispering, "Keep your eyes open," he entered her with thorough gentleness. _What's happening to me? Why am I becoming so weak?_

The answer came when Buffy moaned, "I love you…oh…I love you."

Lying full-length on top of her, Angelus covered his mistress completely, enthralled with the sensation of her legs entwining alongside his. Thrusting inside her silken prison, he could feel her small feet sliding his pants down before her hands clasped his naked backside.

Biting back a cry of animalistic pleasure, Buffy sensed the specters of the past slip away under Eros' cloak. Resting her head against his neck, she curled her nails into the smooth flesh, ravenous for his body. Boldly she demanded, "Harder."

Complying with her request, Angelus could feel his blood spark to life. Although his intentions had been to brand her insides with gentleness, apparently she craved something different.

Cupping her flushed face with both hands, he nipped her reddened lips and smirked when her cries grew louder.

Glazed from passion, she whispered, "Faster."

Planting his hands flat on the table, Angelus worked his hips, angling them to bring his lover the most satisfaction. _Something new. Something just for us._ The thoughts crashed into his mind obsessively, stirring an emotion he loathed even more than weakness: fear.

Fear stalked him, mocking Angelus with its very presence. He winced as Buffy's little nails raked across his chest. She had become quite the hellcat in her passion, thrashing beneath him with a desperation mirroring what lay in his breast. Raising her thigh, he thrust into her, fiercely trying to outrun the wretched terror clawing inside his breast.

Sliding out of Buffy, he smiled tightly at the sound of her pretty distress. Lying on his back, he roughly placed her on top. He watched as she clasped him without hesitation, positioning his cock so it could slide smoothly inside. Gripping her bottom, he felt her silky hair tickle his face as she pressed her chest against his.

Peppering his chin with kisses, she moaned unashamedly, delighted with their carnal play. _I love him. I love this. I'll die without him._ Pushing herself up, Buffy leaned back and rested her hands on his thighs. The world sped by in a dizzying display of emotion while she worked furiously upon his shaft. Angelus' moans filled her ears as her breathless cries mingled with his, creating a private symphony of passion.

Looking down with all the love in her heart, Buffy brushed his hair back and whispered, "I need you. I'll always need you."

Triumph should've dominated his mind, but instead the fear exploded within his gut. _I'll always need you too. No! Bullshit! Why the fuck can't I shake this off? What the hell is wrong with me?_ His visage immediately shifted, sharp teeth glinting dangerously in the candlelight. Before Buffy could react, Angelus flipped her over and entered her roughly.

 _She's just a fucktoy, a pretty fucktoy, and I'll fuck her like one to prove it._

Pounding away at her small body, he could smell his mistress' arousal spiking, flooding him with her secret wetness and signifying her pleasure at his treatment. Reaching down into his pocket with one hand, he slipped out the small vial of lubricant.

"Angelus! Oh…yes…please…ah…please!"

Flicking it open he poured the oil onto the one part of her he had yet to claim. He felt Buffy's body stop its sensuous movements, bewilderment lacing her one softly spoken word. "Angelus?"

Rubbing the liquid into the puckered ring of flesh, he began a deliberate rhythm with the tip of his finger, keeping the golden chain crossing between her legs out of the way.

"W-What are you doing?"

Ignoring the growing fear in her voice, Angelus barely slipped the tip into her, smiling in dark satisfaction as her hips shuddered and her arms collapsed. The sight of Buffy's ass rising in the air aroused him tremendously, but something was still missing. Although he was in her and the final prize was presented to him in such a beautiful fashion, it felt…empty.

This was not how he had imagined deflowering this last bastion of virginity. Buffy would've been on her back, surrounded by the most precious of all linens to soothe her skin, while he would've taken minutes, hours even, to evoke the depths of her lust. Upon reaching the pinnacle, Angelus would've watched her lovely eyes dilate as he took her virginity, rejoicing in the knowledge that this part of Buffy was HIS.

Not Angel's, but his.

Instead she was on the same table where he had defiled her in his twisted method of affection and power, while his face was not that of a passionate lover, but rather that of a remorseless monster.

" _ **Safe. You're safe."**_

" _ **You came. They told me you wouldn't."**_

" _ **Safe."**_

" _ **I'm sorry that I believed them."**_

" _ **I can't risk you anymore."**_

" _ **Angelus?"**_

" _ **Close your eyes, my love."**_

 _SHIT!_ Slipping out from her body, his face melded into the human mask he wore as he pulled his pants up. Carefully tossing Buffy over his shoulder, Angelus made his way towards his chamber, viciously cursing his weakness when he stroked her thigh because he sensed his lover's wariness.

Nothing was going right. The nightmares would not let him go and the vampire was at a humiliating loss as to what to do with them. Setting her down gently onto the massive bed, he systematically released the bed curtains, enclosing them within a velvet cave.

Sliding off his pants, Angelus longed for the nights when all he wanted to do was fuck her. He cherished the memories of Buffy dragging herself from his bed, sore and emotionally fragile because of guilt. Joining her on the bed, he could no more stop his hands from tenderly moving down her waist than he could command his body to need oxygen.

Giving himself to their passionate kiss, he could feel the wariness lapping at the edges of his consciousness, whispering words that made no sense. His thoughts came to halt when her soft voice whispered in his ear.

"What's wrong?" Not giving Angelus a chance to answer, Buffy admitted, "I can feel something's wrong with you. You're not calm. Something has you worried."

Forcing the smirk to twist his lips and the arrogance to resound loudly within each word, the vampire answered, "I don't worry about anything, Baby. Now stop talking and let me fuck you."

Before she could let loose to the exclamations matching her sudden frown, he pushed her legs apart and entered her with one fierce thrust.

"Aaahh!"

Entwining his hand in her blonde hair, he fell into his feral side, shutting out notions of fear and emptiness. Losing himself in the safety of lust, Angelus hammered away, knowing Buffy would soon find satisfaction with his body.

Within a few short minutes she could feel her legs tense as they crept further up his waist. Clawing away at his shoulders, she leaned up and clamped her blunt teeth into his neck, biting down as the delicious tremors took control of her womb. Loudly keening her release, Buffy feverishly wrapped her arms around Angelus' neck, pulling him tightly to her in the hopes of never having to let him go.

 _Please. Let me have a chance to keep living. I don't want to lose this._

Hearing his lover reach satisfaction, he quickened his pace, driving every inch of his cock into her, needing to bury himself so deep that they'd always keep a piece of each other. _No. I'm a demon. I am not like Spike. I'm not that fucking weak!_ Feeling his balls tighten, he closed his eyes in ecstasy as Buffy retained her bite.

The exquisite pleasure was consuming, washing away acrid memories of death and destruction while giving Angelus the illusion of something better. Clutching her slim body to his, he buried his head next to hers and gutturally growled his release.

Several seconds passed, her chest heaving while his stayed unnaturally still. Stroking his back with gentle fingers, Buffy stared up into the darkness and wondered at the feelings plaguing her earlier. He was lying and she knew it within the depths of her soul. _But he won't tell me what's wrong._

Unsure of what to do, she reflected on their experience on the table. A slight blush crossed her face as she remembered the fleeting pleasure she underwent when Angelus had been rubbing her. Before she could rein back her question she asked in curiosity, "Why did you stop?"

"Hmm?"

Stilling her hands, Buffy repeated, "Why did you stop?"

"Because you weren't ready."

"I was too!" Watching him rise above her, she could feel her face flushing beneath his penetrating gaze. "I mean…it was feeling…well, nice."

A smirk crossed his lips while his hand played with the delicate links encompassing her slender waist. "Oh really?" Several seconds passed in ripe speculation before he released the chain. "It's time to sleep."

Surprise flitted across her expressive face. "Sleep?"

Pulling the covers back with one hand, he effortlessly hoisted Buffy beneath them. "Yes, sleep. You have school tomorrow, don't you?"

Shifting her head on the pillows, she mumbled slowly, "I do, but isn't it kind of early?"

"Greedy bitch." Squeezing her breast tightly, Angelus leaned down and unceremoniously sank his teeth around her nipple. Buffy's high-pitched scream sounded loudly in his ears as the blood eagerly rushed up and filled his mouth. Sucking strongly, he listened for his mistress' notes of orgasmic bliss with satisfaction.

Once Buffy's cries subsided into low moans of tormented bliss, Angelus withdrew his fangs and lightly kissed the tip of her reddened nipple. Brushing back her hair, he took little sips from her trembling mouth and murmured, "Now go to sleep. I'll wake you up when it's time for school."

Feeling her eyes close from exhaustion, she mumbled, "But how will I get there in time?"

Tucking Buffy in with a gentle hand he answered, "Your legs. You can make it there within seconds now, remember?"

"Oh, yeah." Yawning widely, she pulled the blankets over her shoulder and curled her body towards Angelus. _I hope he remembers or my mom will flip when she finds the bed empty. Mom._ Sitting up, she didn't bother to hold up the covers as she archly said, "There's something I wanted to ask you. Why is it that Mom has your number, but I don't?"

His laughter held a note of mockery as he answered, "Because she needs it. You don't."

"Why the hell not!"

"Because I'm your tutor, Buff. She needs to get a hold of me whenever she sees fit. It's part of the hassle of training a brat like you. Now go to sleep."

"Give me your number."

"Maybe."

"That's so crappy, Angelus! I'm your…well, you know…and it's-"

Losing his inspiration to indulge her antics, he barked out, "Hush!" Brushing a hasty kiss across her forehead, he brusquely pushed Buffy back into the bed and brought the covers up to her neck. "Every night will see you by my side. Every day will be devoted to your life outside of my arms. It is not wise to let them cross, understand?"

Watching her nod sourly, Angelus crossly ordered, "Now…go…to…SLEEP!" Sternly waiting until sleep finally claimed her, he left the bed once the cadence of her breaths were deep and even.

Too weary to pace, he lowered himself into the same chair he had sat in not even a week ago while watching his delectable mistress struggle to free herself from his manacles. _So much as happened since I chained Buffy up that night. I just wanted to see her cry for me, but then things…got out of control._

Dropping his head back he glumly wondered if that's when his existence took a faulty turn. _She had dared to beat the living shit out of me and I never punished her for it. Instead I held her in my arms while she cried true tears of grief wrought by love. Love._

Staring into the darkened shadows above his head, Angelus grimly admitted to himself he was one frown away from brooding. _That was the night she first said she loved me. Although we were both covered in blood and filth, she had never looked as beautiful to as she did in that moment._

Wryly grinning he acknowledged that she also had words of hatred for him as well, but as the nights passed, Buffy's lips gradually became sweeter and her heart pliant to the thought of letting him inhabit such a sacred box.

 _Is that where it went so wrong? Having her love fall into my hands was my ultimate triumph. To know I owned the Slayer completely…but to own something means to take complete responsibility for it._

Images of Buffy lying bloody and broken at his feet and near Death's numb grasp blew across his mind, disrupting the illusion of tranquility settling across his shoulders. _Buffy was almost assassinated and I still don't know who fucking did it!_

Although he wished for that bastard Brit to be the one holding the reins on this particular piece of dirty work, Spike was clean. All of Angelus' informants could attest to that. Closing his hand into a fist, the vampire could feel the ever-present fury bubble up to the surface. _Why can't she just be a normal girl? Then I could take her away from here, whether she liked it or not._

Realizing where his thoughts had trespassed to, Angelus let out a long string of curses before glancing back to see if he had woken Buffy up, and then hissed an even longer series of profanities at his actions. _She's consuming me. One tiny girl with a mouth too big for her own good-and my sanity-has completely obsessed me. What am I going to do?_

The hours passed, blackest night fading into rosy dawn, before the answer came to him. Gracefully standing up, Angelus walked back towards the bed and pulled the heavy drapery aside. Staring down into his mistress' sleeping face, a hard smile twisted his lips while a ruthless smile lit his eyes.


	30. Chapter 30

Lighting a candle, Buffy blew the small fire out with a quick puff of air. Smoothing out her skirt, she turned around and sat down on a solitary pew bench. The smell of incense permeated the air and the sunlight filtered through the stained glass, throwing jewel-like shadows across the carpeted floor. Relaxing her shoulders, she bowed her head and attempted to allow the surrounding peace to soothe her soul.

 _Father, forgive me for I have sinned._

Tears burned her closed eyes and a muffled sob rose in her throat. She couldn't dare confess to anyone other than God about what had become of her life during the past two months. _Hell. I'm burning alive in my own hell and I can't take it anymore._ Hearing a parishioner come up the stone steps outside, she forced her body to take on the appearance of serene contemplation.

The muted footsteps slowly made their way down the aisle, inaudible sounds of creaking joints and a weakened heart trumpeting their existence into Buffy's sensitive ears. Allowing her pink lips to curve into a sweet smile, she caught the elderly woman's eye and nodded politely, before bowing her head again.

On the surface she had never been better. Giles was more than pleased with her progress, not only physically, but also spiritually. Training had stepped up onto a level that a year ago would've been brutal. However, she was able to adapt and overcome any and all of her Watcher's training modules. Until recently, she never really understood how dangerous Giles could be. His staid, fumbling, British persona brilliantly hid a cunning creature whose strategy made up for lack of strength.

Despite all her training her body was gaining new curves thanks to an extra ten pounds. Buffy was not immune to all the new admiring glances thrown her way. Xander had discreetly passed along the word that her name came up at least a day in the locker room, and not necessarily as a topic for male pig behavior.

Yet, despite her newfound underground popularity, she was seen as being a 'hot nerd' because she was completely immersed in school with no time for dating.

Buffy's grades were up dramatically, surprising all of her friends into believing that her brush with death must have triggered a newfound appreciation for learning. Cordelia, on the other hand, had been heard muttering to no one in particular that perhaps evil magic was afoot because, "There's no way that her dye job is just for looks. She's blonde for a reason!"

 _There IS evil afoot, but it's not magic._

Her ears twitched as she heard the visitor's devout prayer being mumbled in a hoarse whisper. Closing her senses off to a grandmother's pleadings for her daughter's complicated pregnancy, Buffy could hardly contain the dam on her own misery. Lifting her head, she stared blindly at Christ hanging cruelly on his cross of salvation.

If she could find a pause in time where things had taken a darker turn it would have to be the night of her release from Acrymydion.

Angelus had awoken her before dawn, claiming her body with tender thoroughness before turning into a beast.

" _ **Scream for me!"**_ _Wrapping her hair around his large fist, he wrenched her body up against his while spreading her legs roughly. Driving his hard body into hers, he relentlessly impaled Buffy on his cock, not satisfied until her gently wrought pleasure dripped wetly with beads of suffering._

" _ **Ahhhh! Angelus…ahhh!"**_ _Instinctively she sought to push him away, only to feel him wrap his long fingers around her neck._

" _ **Don't you fucking push me away."**_ _The words were coldly whispered against her temple, before he pressed into Buffy with calculated strokes meant to punish by stirring forth a breathless cacophony of lust._

" _ **Don't do this…please…not angry…"**_

" _ **Shut-up!"**_ _Releasing her hair temporarily, Angelus tunneled both hands through her disheveled blonde locks, holding her firmly in place. Deliberately he ground his hips upwards, watching in smirking satisfaction as her hazel eyes darkened in hungry passion._

" _ **Angelus!"**_

 _Soon she was clawing away at him, pleading without words to be closer to him. Kissing any patch of skin she could reach, Buffy writhed and whimpered as the sharp sensations of orgasm coyly raked silken claws against her body, maddeningly close but far away._

" _ **Beg me."**_

 _Trying to kiss his mouth with desperate lips, she groaned in distress when he leaned his head away, keeping himself within impossible reach._

" _ **Don't make me command you again, lover."**_

 _Arching against his unforgiving hold, Buffy pitifully cried, "Please!"_

" _ **Not good enough."**_ _Reaching with his clever tongue, Angelus licked a sinful trail across Buffy's lower lip before drawing out each word in a throaty sigh:_ _ **"Not…good…enough."**_

 _Grinding down against his cold, hard length, she started to tremble as the beginnings of orgasm began to sweetly take hold of her._ _ **'I'm so close. I'm almost there.'**_ _Clenching her eyes shut, a decadent smile slackened her mouth while her hands dug feverishly into his naked hips._

" _ **I don't think so, Buff."**_

 _Neatly tossing her off of him, Angelus wrapped a hand around his cock and began pumping away. Scrambling up on her knees, Buffy crawled forward, beyond shame and sought to taste him. Just when she was a hairsbreadth away from curling her tongue around the tip of his engorged head, Angelus threw her back against the headboard._

 _Confusion settled heavily in her stomach, crowding out the raging lust until it faded away with a whimper._ _ **'What's wrong with him? Why's he turning on me again? Just because I didn't beg him the way he wanted me to?'**_

 _The genuine dismay in her eyes didn't seem to placate the vampire at all. Instead, he locked his harsh, glittering gaze on hers and deliberately released himself in his hand without a sound. A frustrated cry escaped from Buffy's throat as she rose to her knees._ _ **'Damn him!'**_

 _Well aware of her pique, Angelus remained motionless despite the dead seed dripping off his palm._ _ **"Come here."**_

 _Distrusting the pleasant tones of his smooth voice, she nonetheless crawled forward and stopped only when she was inches away from his raised hand. Eyeing the thick white liquid with equal parts dismay and titillation, she wondered silently,_ _ **'Will he make me lick it off?'**_ _Several moments passed in speculative silence before she jumped at the dreadful sound of his emotionless voice._

" _ **I'm very disappointed in you Buffy. I believe I've been more than patient with you concerning our…relationship…haven't I?"**_ _His heavy brows drew over his dark eyes when she merely stared up at him. Menace curled about his every word, as Angelus repeated,_ _ **"Haven't I?"**_

 _Licking her dry lips Buffy rasped,_ _ **"I…I don't…know."**_

" _ **Of course you don't darling and that's part of the problem."**_ _A dangerous smirk lifted his mouth before he whispered,_ _ **"Do you think I'm Angel?"**_

" _ **No!"**_

" _ **Really? Hmm. Why do I disbelieve you?"**_ _Tilting his head to the side, Angelus murmured in a conversational tone,_ _ **"Could it be because you insist on behaving as if you're in charge here and not me?"**_

 _Feeling cornered, Buffy cried,_ _ **"Why does there have to be anyone in charge? Why can't it be like a normal relationship?"**_

 _Regarding her with unblinking eyes he answered,_ _ **"Because we aren't normal. My heart doesn't beat and you won't ever be like the sheep you protect."**_

 _Dropping her eyes, she couldn't deny the unforgiving truth of his statement._

" _ **And when you add what we've become…well, it seems like we're bound together by a dirty secret we created, doesn't it?"**_ _Lifting out his soiled hand, Angelus softly declared,_ _ **"Even more so than father and child…brother and sister…husband and wife."**_

 _Before Buffy could answer, he growled in a vicious voice,_ _ **"We've both changed so don't whine about why we can't be normal. We're just not-so deal."**_ _Reaching for her face, Angelus smeared his hand all over her face, ignoring the expression of disgust._ _ **"Now get out."**_

 _Swiping at the thick liquid, Buffy felt a surge of rage overtake her. Slapping his cheek, she shouted,_ _ **"How dare you talk to me that way?! How dare you wipe your cum all over my fucking face?!"**_ _Pushing his chest with both hands, she shrieked when he caught hold of her wrists and twisted them cruelly._

 _Leaning his face down to hers, Angelus growled,_ _ **"You stupid, little, insincere bitch! When I tell you to fucking beg, you beg. Whatever I tell you to do, you do. If you can't get that through your goddamned head, then you don't even deserve to be here."**_

 _Struggling against his implacable hold, she hissed,_ _ **"I hate you!"**_

 _All expression disappeared from his face._ _ **"Is that so?"**_ _Roughly lifting Buffy up, Angelus strode out of the room, stopping only to scoop up her discarded clothes, before depositing her in the elevator naked._

 _Imperiously staring down his nose, he emotionlessly stated,_ _ **"When you're ready to beg for forgiveness, you'll know where to find me. If not…well, then it's your decision. Deal with the consequences of your actions then."**_

Taking a deep sigh, Buffy rolled her neck back and closed her eyes. She and Angelus sped about in a continuous cycle of destruction, which made no sense but existed nonetheless.

When they first started sleeping together, it was all about how much they detested one another, oftentimes leaving her being the one in tears with tattered pride. Then things seemed to shift. Of course, there was the requisite sniping back and forth, but Buffy could've sworn that SOMETHING had been changing. Whether it started the night she nearly beat Angelus beyond recognition, or even later, she could FEEL that he was changing towards her.

But then whatever it was collapsed and became something worse, something ugly.

Rubbing her neck, Buffy bitterly wondered if perhaps this demented love affair was all due to the cursed bonding. _Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't but the end is still the same._

After the night Angelus tossed her out, she swore to herself that if anyone came begging it would be him. She may have agreed to be his completely, but she had reasoned to herself that surely she had to draw a line somewhere.

 _My line was pretty fucking laughable._

Each day became worse than the next and each night served only as a torturous reminder of how alone she was. Curled up in her bed, Buffy sought to ignore the increasing pain growing inside her heart and body. She had laid there, staring up at the ceiling, reasoning to herself why Angelus was a bastard and deserved the pointed end of her stake only to find her pride slipping and her reasons becoming as hollow as the shadows under eyes.

She couldn't hide the evidence of suffering from those close to her. Many times Buffy had to smile tiredly at Willow's concerned questions and reply, "Maybe I'm just working too hard." Even Giles began to notice the dullness of her gaze and the haggardness drawing tightly at the corners of her mouth. His immediate belief had been that he was working her too hard.

"Buffy, I, umm, believe that perhaps I was too, ah, overzealous with training. Perhaps, we need to pull, ah, back."

Her answer was always quick and perky. "No way, Giles! Anything worth having is worth suffering for." How apt and telling her words were…

Every night she had prayed to see him-whether it be at the Bronze, a graveyard, or even an alleyway-only to find nothing but the usual Sunnydale demon assortment of stray vampires and ghoulish creatures.

No matter how much she cursed him and herself, Buffy couldn't deny the visceral pain shredding her reason to pieces. Pride meant nothing anymore. It was a stupid emotion to carry, especially when it kept people from revealing their true feelings.

Because of her pride she had been left to deal with the aftermath of the Master's death on her own for an entire summer. When she came back, she had pushed everyone away because she was too big and bad to feel things like fear and trauma.

Because of her pride she had kept Angel at a distance for almost a year. What had she been left with? Nothing but wasted time. She was not going to make the same mistakes again.

As nightfall on Wednesday came, she had waited for him, needing to assure herself that everything was going to be fine. Soon Angelus would be at her door and all would be right again. If he wanted her to say she was sorry, she would. Nothing mattered but being with him again.

Pacing feverishly in her room, Buffy had ignored the cramps of nervousness and nausea cluttering her stomach. Smoothing her hair she had heard the ring of the phone before it went silent. Chewing on her lip, her fingers kept playing with the links around her waist, smoothing and rolling the gold over and over again, before the sound of footsteps assaulted her jittery senses.

The words, when they came, were short and apologetic. "Buffy, honey, Angel just called to tell me that he can't make your tutoring session. Something came up. He had to go out of town. When he gets back, he'll call to reschedule."

She had merely nodded, the urge to vomit so powerful that standing there, appearing nonchalant was all she was capable of. Long after her mother had left, Buffy's desolate thoughts had reverberated over and over in her mind: _He's punishing me. This time he really means it. Every other time he's always come back, he's never allowed me to push him away, but now he really means it._

The rest of her night and day had been spent fearing that perhaps Angelus had left Sunnydale forever. Going through the motions of school, socialization, training had nearly taken their toll on her brittle emotions. The act of putting food in her mouth had made Buffy sicker, but instead of giving into the roiling nausea swirling in her gut, she had swallowed each bite and laughed at each of Xander's jokes as if her soul was not being crushed beneath the relentless pain of abandonment.

However, after four nights of torture, Buffy had finally come across Angelus by accident, but he hadn't been alone.

He hadn't been creeping along in the dark with an unsuspecting victim or hiding out in an abandoned warehouse with a horde of other evil creatures of the night. Instead, the bastard had been sitting boldly at a small, window-side table for two at the local coffee shop.

Even thinking about it months later made Buffy's blood boil. _It started out so horribly, ended so beautifully, but that was the final nail in my coffin. After that, there was no going back._

 _Numbly staring at his laughing profile, she felt as if the bottom had dropped out of her stomach. After the hell she had been going through, this is what he was doing? Taking out some girl for coffee? Vaguely she wondered if this was the same place Oz had taken Willow earlier in the week._

 _Before she could stop herself, Buffy's feet were steadily walking towards the entrance while her mind became a black cauldron of unspeakable rage. Without a glance or acknowledgement of the cheerfully spoken_ _ **"Hello!"**_ _from the cashier, she stalked over to the chatting couple, and stood there glaring at the intimate scene until Angelus looked up._

 _One smirk. All it took was the lifting of his smug mouth before Buffy snapped. Immediately overturning the tiny, black table she ignored the gasps of shock peppering the air around her. Her hazel eyes dilating from the force of her uncontrolled emotions, her hand whipped out and wrapped itself around Angelus' neck._ _ **"I could fucking kill you right now!"**_

" _ **Hey, look, I don't want any problem…"**_

 _Releasing her faithless lover with a disgusted push, Buffy shifted her attention to the tall redhead. Lovely pale skin accented with a light dusting of freckles covered a face that was pretty and womanly. The stranger looked to be in her late twenties and by the judge of her tasteful clothing, obviously successful and independent._ _ **'Is this what he wants? He always calls me a brat and a child. If I were an adult, would it be different?'**_

 _Faced with all her insecurities in the flesh, Buffy could feel her rigid control slipping away. Her voice was uncharacteristically icy as Death itself as she softly stated,_ _ **"My problem is you. So take my advice before I forget what you are: walk out of here and NEVER look at this man again. Do you understand?"**_

" _ **Buff-"**_

 _Without dropping her gaze from the stranger's shocked blue eyes, Buffy snarled,_ _ **"You shut-up! I'll deal with you when I'm finished."**_

 _Nervously glancing away the woman fumbled with her purse and made to stand up._ _ **"Look Angelus, it's obviously not a good time. Perhaps we'll reschedule…"**_

' _ **Reschedule? Who the hell does she think she is?'**_ _Before Buffy knew it, she had dragged the much taller woman out of the shop and into a convenient alley, but not before backhanding Angelus into the floor. Throwing the hapless female against the brick wall, her fingers itched to close themselves into fists and pummel the scared face beyond recognition._

 _Standing there in front of her potential prey, Buffy's chest heaved in and out as if she had been running for hours while black specks kept dancing about the edges of her sight, threatening to take consciousness from her at any moment. Days of suppressing a roller coaster of emotions, lack of sleep, and pure fear had taken their vicious toll on Buffy._

 _Hatred poisonously twisted alongside the love she had been suffering for Angelus, tempting her to want to drive a stake through his faithless heart._ _ **'While I'd been going out of my mind, this is what he's been doing. While I cried tears of blood, he was sipping cappuccinos with this bitch.'**_

" _ **Did you fuck him?"**_ _The words were dead, spoken in a voice that was terrible because of its lack of feeling._

 _Leaning into the rough, brick surface the woman sought to put as much distance between herself and the enraged teenage girl._ _ **"I think you're misunderstanding what I'm doing here."**_

 _A grim smile quirked her pink lips briefly._ _ **"Pay attention. That's not what I asked you."**_

" _ **Buffy!"**_

 _Slowly turning her head, she coldly watched as her straying vampire stalked into the alleyway._ _ **"Be quiet."**_ _A distant part of her realized she was becoming a perfect feminine copy of Angelus and wondered if she should feel proud. Addressing the cowering woman Buffy asked again in a succinct voice,_ _ **"Did. You. Fuck. Him?"**_ _The pain hovering at the edges of her consciousness lashed her relentlessly with what the answer could be, but it didn't matter. She had to know._

" _ **Let it go!"**_

 _Without shifting her gaze, Buffy felt the simmering fury boil out from the lid of her personal command._ _ **"Why the FUCK are words still coming out of your mouth? Didn't I tell you to be quiet?"**_

 _Roughly grabbing her shoulder, Angelus growled,_ _ **"This is not the time for displays of affection, Buff."**_

 _Closing her eyes, she could feel her face contort with rage. Spinning around she laid a lightening quick blow to his jaw before kicking him squarely in the gut. A small glimmer of satisfaction blossomed darkly with her breast as she watched him fly against a trio of garbage cans._ _ **'Son of a bitch! He thinks he can just toss me aside whenever he feels like it-like I'm some doll. He's mine and I won't let him go now. I won't let him go to anyone else!'**_

" _ **ANGELUS!"**_

 _Hearing the redhead's panicked cry, Buffy found a new focus for her awesome anger. Advancing on the cowering female, she ruthlessly shoved aside the fact that she was the Slayer and the person in front of her was just a human. She no longer cared that her strength was hundreds of times more than the stranger's. Buffy only saw a rival. Reaching up for a clump of ruby hair, she ignored the frightened gasp as she fell further into the blackness of her own demons. Before she could raise a hand, she heard Angelus come up behind her a split-second too late._

 _Wrapping bands of steel around her tiny frame, he hissed into her ear,_ _ **"She's a human! You can't fucking do this!"**_

 _Bucking against him Buffy cried in a venomous voice,_ _ **"Since when do you care? Or is it because she's your new, precious girlfriend? Is that it, you rotten piece of shit?!"**_

 _Fighting to keep his body intact and his mistress under control, he yelled to the hapless woman,_ _ **"Go! Go now!"**_

 _Without waiting to be told again, the redhead scurried away, nearly tripping in her haste to flee the alley._

 _Watching her rival disappear Buffy gave into a howl of unbalanced fury amidst the piercing pitch of approaching police sirens._ _ **"You let her get away! I HATE YOU!"**_

" _ **Be quiet! Or do you want to attract MORE attention than you already have?"**_ _Not waiting for her answer, Angelus contracted his legs before springing into the air with Buffy's wriggling form in tow. Landing on the roof with easy grace, the vampire leapt from building to building, ignoring the Slayer's shrieks of rage._

 _Finally stopping on his terrace, Angelus released Buffy but still kept a wary eye on her. Crossing his arms in a gesture of arrogance, he raised a dark brow and asked,_ _ **"Now would you mind explaining to me as to what the FUCK that was about?"**_

 _Enraged beyond sanity, Buffy grabbed an iron urn and flung at his head._ _ **"You have NO right to ask any questions here! YOU were the one found drinking coffee and laughing it up with some…slut!"**_

 _Easily catching the missile, Angelus carefully placed it back where it belonged. Towering over her petite frame he tilted his head and murmured,_ _ **"Slut? Isn't that rather harsh, even for you? C'mon Buff, I thought you were above all petty flaws. Since when have you been the type to call every pretty girl you see near me a slut?"**_

' _ **He's mocking me! That prick is actually mocking me!'**_

 _An enigmatic smile tilted the corners of his lips as he brushed back a loose tendril of Buffy's hair._ _ **"You've yet to start crying. You must really be pissed."**_

 _Slapping his hand away she gritted out,_ _ **"You think?"**_ _When he started laughing she narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth to scream exactly what she thought of his vampire lineage, before she swallowed her temper and chose to whisper instead,_ _ **"I wonder which I should cut off first: your tongue or your prick. It seems like both are the source of all my problems."**_

 _Tilting his head back Angelus let out a great whoop of laughter._ _ **"Goddamn, Baby! You really are becoming just like me!"**_ _Settling his amused gaze upon hers he stated,_ _ **"I told you we're the same.**_

" _ **You and I are the same Buff."  
"No Angelus, we are NOT the same."**_

" _ **Maybe we are."**_ _Shoving him against a stonewall, she hissed,_ _ **"Now what were you doing with that woman?"**_

 _Linking his arms around her waist, he smirked when Buffy pushed them off. Giving a long-suffering sigh he muttered,_ _ **"Jealous girl,"**_ _before he answered,_ _ **"She's my jeweler."**_

" _ **Bullshit."**_

" _ **It's true. Why else do you think I couldn't tutor you?"**_

" _ **To punish me for the other night."**_

 _A wicked smile flashed across his mouth briefly while a chilling light entered his eyes._ _ **"That would be passive-aggressive, lover. I'm just aggressive-aggressive."**_

" _ **You're also the master of playing mind games."**_

" _ **True, true."**_ _Tapping her cheek with one finger he stated,_ _ **"However, I had to go out of town to see some pieces."**_

 _Jabbing her finger into his chest, Buffy snarled,_ _ **"Pieces. Right. Pieces of what?"**_

" _ **Stones, my pretty idiot. That poor human you nearly beat to a bloody pulp is my contact to finding rare and perfect jewels…like sapphires. You should admire her skill, after all, if it wasn't for her speed at procuring the best you wouldn't be wearing those chains."**_

 _Seeing the rare sincerity on his guileless face, Buffy took a long look at what the woman had really said._

" _ **Hey, look, I don't want any problem…"  
"Look Angelus, it's obviously not a good time. Perhaps we'll reschedule…"  
"I think you're misunderstanding what I'm doing here."**_

 _Buffy's black wrath collapsed upon itself immediately. Thinking back on her actions she began to burn with familiar guilt._ _ **'Oh my God. If Angelus hadn't stopped me, who knows what I would've done to her.'**_

 _Catching the smug superior expression on his face, Buffy wound her fingers in his shirt and shouted in defense,_ _ **"I'm not an idiot! If it were the other way around and I disappeared for days before you saw me with some guy, you'd be pissed too!"**_

 _Shrugging nonchalantly Angelus gently grabbed her wrist and kissed the underside softly._ _ **"Like I said-you're becoming more like me."**_

 _Dragging in a shaky breath she closed her eyes and muttered,_ _ **"You're trying to confuse me."**_

" _ **You think?"**_

 _Wrenching her wrist back she brought her hands up to her head and yelled,_ _ **"Goddamnit, Angelus! Shit, shit, shit!" 'He's right. I AM an idiot!'**_

" _ **As adorable as your temper tantrum is right now, why don't we sit down before we continue your delightful inquisition?"**_ _Gallantly holding out an arm, he patiently waited for her to stalk over to ornate iron chair._

 _Seating across from her, Angelus seemed content to merely close his eyes and enjoy the night breeze._

 _Staring at his achingly handsome profile, Buffy unwillingly felt the sharp edge of her rage dissolve._ _ **'He's here. He didn't leave me. I'm with him. He wasn't cheating on me with that woman.'**_ _Before she could attempt to shield her feelings in favor of fury she asked softly,_ _ **"Why did you get so mad at me the other night?"**_

" _ **Hmm?"**_

" _ **Why'd you flip out on me?"**_

 _Without opening his eyes he answered,_ _ **"Because I'm tired of everything being a negotiation with you."**_

' _ **Negotiation.'**_

" _ **I'm sick to my gut of having to coerce or explain everything I do to you. How hard is it to understand 'Beg me?'"**_

" _ **But why-"**_

" _ **Why should you have to do things like that? Because that's the way I am, Slayer. That's the way vampires like me roll. I get off on dominating you. When you submit to me, it makes me even harder. It comes down to one thing: I'm not vanilla, I'm not Angel, and I never will be."**_

 _Staring down into her lap, Buffy let his words soak into her._ _ **'He's being honest with me, I can feel it.' "But…it's…I mean…it seems wrong."**_

" _ **Hmm."**_

" _ **It's hard for me to be docile all the time."**_

" _ **Obviously."**_

 _ **"I'm usually submissive around you. I mean, considering I'm the Slayer and you're, well, a vampire."**_

 _"Hmm."_

' _ **He's still not looking at me.'**_ _Feeling her cheeks flush she swallowed once before her courage deserted her._ _ **"I haven't begged for forgiveness yet." 'I want to be with him. I NEED to be with him. I'll fall apart without this man.'**_

 _One dark eye slid open before it closed again. His posture indicated absolutely no response to her words._

 _Standing up she approached Angelus' still figure. Climbing onto his lap she watched his face to see if her actions were unwelcome. Leaning her head into the crook of his neck, Buffy whispered,_ _ **"I missed you."**_

" _ **You brought it on yourself."**_ _Although his words were unsympathetic, he brought up a hand and began stroking her back._

 _Clutching him tighter she could feel the tension that had taken up residence in her body fade away._ _ **"I wanted to kill you when I saw you with her."**_

" _ **I know."**_

" _ **I don't know what we are, but I can't take the thought of you being with anyone other than me. I'll…I'll go CRAZY if that happens."**_

 _Angelus' hands stilled in their soothing task._ _ **"Are you warning me?"**_

 _Leaning back she looked him in the eye and answered in a clear voice,_ _ **"Yes."**_

 _A full smirk crossed his mouth. Slapping her bottom he murmured huskily,_ _ **"Two sides of the same coin, Baby. We're two sides of the same coin…"**_

Beneath the stars Buffy had willingly begged Angelus repeatedly in a voice that had eventually grown hoarse.

 _'But then things grew darker.'_

That night had been the last of her rebelliousness. _He said that just as I have a choice, so does he. And what he wanted from me was crystal clear._ From then on, she had sought to become everything her lover wanted. The old struggles of loving him vanished, to be replaced by the obsessive need to please Angelus. Their separation had been too much-burning the experience of what life would be like without him into her psyche.

While a tender lover he was not, Buffy could not deny how skilled he had been with bringing her body to explosive release. Although rough at times, she could not have found complaint with his traditional methods. However, once their entanglement entered a new realm, she could barely remember what it was like to have _normal_ sex.

Sensing a flush redden her cheeks, she acknowledged that although she should be ashamed of her actions, especially because she was in a church-she wouldn't necessarily take them back.

Feeling a speck of dust land on her palm, Buffy glanced down to see her hands lying there in her lap limply from habit. Through Angelus she had learned how even a simple gesture like this could communicate so much.

" _ **Always keep yourself open to me. Place your hands on your knees, palms up, yes, like that. When you sit in my presence I want your legs to never be closed tightly. Instead part them. The degree of openness will tell me how much you desire me and what I'm doing to you. If modesty is required, such as in public, the tiniest bit will do. Even your mouth, lover. Never keep it completely closed. Here, like this. Do you feel how it's parted just the slightest? Good. Now do you understand?"**_

" _ **Yes, Angelus"**_

" _ **Good girl."**_

Angelus was a thorough master, strict with high expectations for her, yet effusive with his compliments when she pleased him. If her actions towards him were personally demeaning, she was so far gone that it rarely entered her head perhaps Angelus was abusing her.

 _Especially when I experience the insane bliss that I do…_

Perhaps it was because he started her lessons innocently enough, treating them more like a game rather than the psychological conditioning it really was. _Although knowing that, I still didn't care. Maybe I still don't._ But then again, it had somewhat been their honeymoon phase...

" _ **C'mon, lover. It's not that difficult, is it?"**_ _Caressing her tightly bound wrists, Angelus purred,_ _ **"I'm not using chains this time, only silk."**_ _Running his tongue down her raised arm, he whispered,_ _ **"There are so easy to break too. All you have to do is lean too far in any one direction."**_

" _ **Mmm. Mmm."**_

 _Stepping back, he studied her face with playful curiosity._ _ **"You're crying."**_ _Reaching out with one pale hand, Angelus captured a solitary tear before bringing it up to his mouth. Stroking her sensitized stomach he murmured,_ _ **"But you've done so beautifully, darling. Why are you breaking now?"**_

 _Stretched to the tips of her toes, Buffy could do nothing more than give a muffled moan. With arms held high above her head, an insignificant length of silk bound over a wicked hook kept her strung tightly. He was right: if she moved more than an inch, the metal would slice right through the silk._

 _And no matter what, Buffy could not let that happen._

 _The velvet in her mouth had been soaked through long before, yet it still effectively stifled her cries. The first hour had been simple, the second a breeze, but by the fifth she began to feel discomfort, now it had been close to ten hours and her body hurt so badly._

 _Feathering a kiss across her damp temple, Angelus murmured,_ _ **"But darling, you said you wanted to know what it felt like to be a vampire, to be bound to the darkness. So this is the closest thing."**_ _Glancing down at his watch he cheerfully added,_ _ **"There's only an hour and ten minutes left to sundown, so you're almost done."**_ _Pulling away, he stated in a reproachful voice,_ _ **"Although unlike me, you actually have a choice. If you can't hack it, Baby, just tear through your bonds."**_

' _ **I can do it! I didn't spend my entire Saturday strung up here for nothing. I WON'T fail!'**_

 _Closing her watery eyes, Buffy commanded her mind to focus past the agony whipping over each exhausted muscle in her body, and instead imagined what it would be like to go the distance-proving to Angelus that she wasn't a little brat who couldn't keep up with him._

 _The vampire read the determination in his lover's face and graced her with a proud smile._ _ **"That's my girl."**_ _Circling her he gave a low sigh._ _ **"You carry your pain so beautifully, did you know that?"**_ _Touching her quivering thigh, he crouched low and brushed his mouth across the smooth flesh._

' _ **Oh, God! His mouth is SO close."**_

 _Smelling her arousal, Angelus smirked in appreciation._ _ **"Even though your body feels as if it's going to be ripped apart, you can still do this for me."**_ _Blowing on her dampening curls softly, he nuzzled the silken fur before standing up._

" _ **MMM! MMM!"**_

 _Playfully slapping her rear he made a chastising sound._ _ **"Now, now, lover. Patience is a grace you're working so hard at-don't disappoint me."**_

 _Feeling her control slip, panic set in, robbing Buffy of breath and endurance._ _ **"Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!" 'Angelus, please don't leave me! Don't stop touching me! I've been good for this long!'**_

 _Ignoring her obvious cries of dismay, he returned to his seat, picked up his brush and oil paints and resumed working. His deft hands worked feverishly, continuously glancing back at Buffy before dropping his gaze back to the canvas before him._

 _Realizing he had no intention of touching her again, Buffy drew several shuddering, yet muffled breaths, and found an object for her focus: his hair. Imagining what it would be like to touch the dark strands during passion inspired a worthy meaning for her self-imposed misery._

 _Feeling her lustful stare upon him, Angelus paused, smiled, and then blew her a rakish kiss, before continuing with his work._

 _Moaning softly she knew she could do anything for him, just so long as he viewed her with pride. If she had to go back and trade places between what they used to do and now, she would immediately pick their circumstances now._ _ **'Even if he's displeased with me, his focus is completely mine. Every night is spent with him. Whether I'm by his side, on his lap, or at his feet, I'm all that he sees and while it might not be love, it's a start.'**_

 _Time passed and the bright light of daylight deepened into the approaching palette of dusk. Putting the last touches on his portrait, Angelus set his tools down before taking a long and unnecessary stretch._

" _ **Oh, lover. It's been quite a day, hasn't it?"**_ _Gazing at the product of his labors with a critical eye he murmured,_ _ **"Overall, you were a good model. Not perfect mind you, but excellent. You stayed in the same position as requested. Hmm, but I know you'll do better next time."**_ _Gathering the numerous brushes he strolled away, leaving Buffy alone in the gathering darkness._

 _Uncontrollable impatience tore through her as her eyes became fixed on the doorway where Angelus walked through. The sensation in her body had gone past pain a long time before and was presently a strange curiosity of numbness shot with occasional spasms of intense agony._

 _In the distance she could hear Angelus in the kitchen. The sound of running water co-mingled with cabinets opening and closing. Tears sprang to her eyes as the minutes passed on spiteful legs._ _ **'Where are you? Let me down!'**_

 _As the dusk melded into full-blown night, Buffy irrationally wondered what she was doing on her_ _ **'supposed'**_ _trip out of town with her mother. Because of her lie it was the first weekend spent with Angelus sans curfew and school, without Giles or anyone suspecting a thing. Still, she wouldn't be stepping foot outside until tomorrow night, in order to avoid running into anyone she knew._ _ **'Maybe I'd be getting ready to go to dinner, after having spent the full day shopping, being hung up…on a dress…before…oh dammit! Why isn't he back?'**_

 _Sweat began pouring from her body in earnest as the temptation to break from her bonds became more than a wish. Glancing up Buffy could see the night sky through the expansive dome._ _ **'I want down! It's past time. If I slice the silk I won't be cheating. I made it through the day. But what if I'm supposed to wait?'**_

 _Another thirty minutes passed while Buffy wrangled with her indecision. Soon the smell of fresh fruit, cheese, and wine tempted her nose. Realizing that she hadn't eaten all day, her stomach made the choice. With a decided tug the silk split, leaving her free._

 _Collapsing on the marbled floor Buffy clenched her teeth as the combined pains of her body and appetite tore through her. Barely able to keep coherent thought, she ignored the torture racking her limbs and stumbled across the lengthy room, instinctively seeking the kitchen._

 _Gracelessly entering the small, brightly lit space Buffy was met by the site of Angelus leaning back against the granite topped counter, a large tray in one hand and a glass of wine in the other._ _ **"At first it's not a choice, rather a torture worse than your mind can believe manageable, but then eventually the pain fades until all you wait for is the dark."**_

 _Holding out his offering, he watched with veiled amusement as Buffy pounced, snatching the food before gulping down the wine in an instant._

 _Gently taking the empty glass back, he refilled the contents and set it down on the counter._ _ **"But even once the darkness comes, the fear sets in. 'What should I do? Should I just stay here?' Your conscience battles reason, all the while indecision taints everything. But then something stronger takes over."**_

 _Pausing in the midst of her ravenous feast, Buffy lifted her head and waited for him to continue in curiosity._

 _Brushing off several crumbs from her mouth, he placed the tip of one finger against her lips and waited patiently for her to open her mouth and begin sucking it. Feeling her little tongue slide sensuously against his skin, Angelus' eyes grew hooded with desire._ _ **"Hunger. The hunger strikes and it's all you can do to even remember your own name. You become a slave to it, following wherever its siren call leads you. Nothing matters, nothing is more important, than making it go away just so you can find yourself again."**_

 _Slipping his finger out of her delightful mouth, Angelus quickly lifted her naked body upon on the counter before spreading her legs widely. Placing the tray by her side, he murmured,_ _ **"You don't have to stop, lover. Keep eating until it goes away."**_

 _Nodding her head Buffy whispered,_ _ **"Thank you."**_

 _A beautiful smile lifted his lips as he graciously answered,_ _ **"You're very welcome, my darling girl."**_ _Bending his dark head, Angelus murmured,_ _ **"At first, it controls your mind until it's appeased…until it's satisfied."**_ _Without preamble his mouth swooped down and began its own sensuous feast._

 _Feeling his clever tongue delve into her, Buffy screamed in unbridled pleasure. Clutching his head with both hands, she pressed her hips closer, not caring how wanton she was behaving._

 _Although she was still hungry, she didn't want to stop touching Angelus, to stop feeling every part of him. The thread of her pulse grew stronger, beating a primal plea to quench her lover's hunger, to soothe the beast with an eager offering of her own blood._

 _When his fingers crept up and easily glided into both entrances of her body, Buffy arched up and immediately exploded._ _ **"ANGELUS!"**_ _Before she came down, she felt his face shift._ _ **"Please…please…"**_

 _Rising up he loomed over his flushed mistress, heady with the knowledge that the unnatural features contorting his face inspired lust and desire in the girl beneath him instead of fear and loathing._ _ **"But then sometimes it never goes away, no matter how many times you curse it, sometimes it never leaves your being."**_

 _Clutching his broad shoulders, Buffy raised her neck and hoarsely demanded,_ _ **"Let me help you."**_ _An indescribable expression crossed Angelus' face, before he accepted her pretty offer. Feeling his fangs sink into her neck, she felt the day's strain and the supreme ecstasy of moment overtake her, slamming Buffy into unconsciousness._

Releasing a soft sigh, she could not deny the desire settling low in her stomach. That had just been one of many lessons she had learned under Angelus' skillful hands. _Afterwards, he had been so tender with me-bathing me, brushing my hair, rubbing scented oil into my sore muscles. I spent all night with him in me and everything I had undergone that day had been worth it, because I was all he could see. Even when he hissed my name like a vile curse at times, I was all he could see. And I never wanted that feeling to stop._

But there had been moments which hadn't been quite so viciously pleasant…

However, those lessons didn't come until much later.

 _I should feel completely guilty, shouldn't I? I mean, I do feel guilty…a lot of the times…but not so much anymore._

 _I enjoy what I do. I enjoy feeling this. I can't justify it, it doesn't make sense, but I don't care! It makes sense to me!_

Buffy could feel a flush of rage darken her face. _I can imagine what people would think if they knew. How can she be like this? Doesn't she know how strong she is? She's the Slayer! She'd never be so weak! How can she submit to a vampire? Doesn't she have a backbone?_

She blew out a small rush of air. _Fuck them. I have to carry the world on my fucking shoulders 24/7. I have to please my mother, my friends, my Watcher, the Council, and anyone else who thinks they have an opinion to share. Do they think it's easy? Do they think that this is a fucking T.V. show? Oh yeah, let me just go and take care of the baddies in 60 minutes with my self-esteem intact. It doesn't matter how my life is in a shambles on every level, I'm fully equipped to do exactly what they want, when they want! I'm just a little character that can be manipulated to please everyone…but myself._

 _I can be controlled to suit whatever everyone THINKS I should be._

Her internal rage burned out abruptly. Who was she angry with? No one thought that way of her, because she was…perfect.

At least in their trusting eyes.

Glancing at her watch, Buffy noted she only had about ten minutes left. Directing her mind to prayer she silently whispered, _I'm always so fucking confused about what's right and wrong. Oh, sorry, God. I kind of forgot where I was. Okay, back to the point. Every time I think I know what side of the fence I'm on-I end up straddling it again. It sucks._

Buffy silently watched the elderly woman make her way down the aisle.

 _I know that when the world sees me, they think I have everything together. Why wouldn't they? My grades are perfect, my Slayer skills unmatched, and my shoes are cute._

A tiny smile flitted about her mouth. Buffy's last remark proved her superficial vanity was still there. _Giles is so proud of me, my friends think that I've been able to move past Angel with admirable strength, and that Angelus is staying away because I kick so much ass. Oh! Sorry again, God._

Just that day Xander had made mention of it in his oh-so-sensitive way.

" _ **Hey, Buffster? You haven't seen Dead-Boy lately, have you?"**_

" _ **No. Why?"**_

" _ **No reason. Well, other than he must REALLY be scared of you. I mean, he hasn't made good on his reputation."**_ _A sneer marked Xander's face briefly._ _ **"I knew the rep was just smoke."**_

" _ **Should I want it to be more than smoke?" she asked with a sarcastic drawl.**_

 _The implications of his ill-thought-out statement dawned on him._ _ **"What? Oh! Sorry, Buffy."**_ _Xander smiled sheepishly before stating with confidence,_ _ **"You could still stake him where it counts though because you…kick…ass."**_

She DID kick ass. Every night she laid down at least two vampires. However, it wasn't quite the same. The previous dry spell had run its course thanks to Angelus.

 _Buffy felt like a pagan because of the jewels adorning her body. Naked except for the encrusted chains, she watched silently as Angelus went about his tasks._

" _ **I didn't know you had this kind of hobby."**_

 _A familiar smirk lifted his mouth._ _ **"It saves more time than painting you, wouldn't you agree?"**_

 _Shifting her position on the plum-colored divan, she nodded her head._ _ **"Yeah, but how do I know you won't be a perv and show all your demon friends?"**_

" _ **Stay still."**_ _Angelus set two light lamps in position._ _ **"I could, but then I'd have to kill them."**_

 _Obeying she asked,_ _ **"Why?"**_

 _He paused and looked at her directly._ _ **"For seeing you naked."**_

 _An arch smile curved her mouth._ _ **"Grr. Possessive."**_

" _ **Always."**_

 _She continued to watch him for a few more seconds before speaking again._ _ **"What about the internet?"**_

" _ **Buffy, is there something you're trying to tell me? Can I trust that you won't take a print when I'm done and upload it onto a server?"**_

" _ **Angelus!"**_

" _ **Well?"**_

" _ **I'm not a pervert!"**_ _She turned her head and raised her nose._ _ **"You have the privilege of being one all by yourself."**_

" _ **Woman! Stay. Still."**_

 _Buffy hated sitting still and Angelus knew it. That was why he had her doing it quite a lot. It was done to make her an 'incomparable creature.'_

" _ **Have you enjoyed your vacation?"**_

 _Challenged to keep her body motionless, Buffy asked,_ _ **"If by vacation you mean the fact that I haven't had a fight that I didn't pick-no."**_ _Her eyes, however, had their fill of his naked torso by following his every movement._ _ **'He looks so beautiful. His skin is so pale, so perfect.'**_

 _Angelus chuckled lightly._ _ **"I forget how much you enjoy confrontation."**_ _Adjusting the lighting with an artistic eye he continued._ _ **"I have good news for you, my darling."**_

 _Ignoring the uncomfortable pinch centering on her nipples she replied,_ _ **"Really? What is it?"**_

 _He walked forward and lifted her chin just the tiniest bit._ _ **"You'll get to slay again."**_ _Immediately he padded away._

" _ **Slay again?"**_ _An invisible hair landed on her. Buffy wiggled her nose, hoping to force the distraction off._

" _ **What are you doing?"**_ _His voice held traces of annoyance._

" _ **My nose itches."**_

" _ **Can you get over it?"**_

" _ **If I could, don't you think I would?"**_ _she snapped back in a very non-submissive tone._ _ **'Oh, hell. Is he going to get pissed?'**_

 _Prowling towards her, Angelus reached out and carefully removed the offending piece of hair._ _ **"Is there anything else I can help you with, my queen?"**_

 _Staring at him beneath lowered brows, Buffy muttered,_ _ **"It's not very nice to make me fun of me."**_

 _Leaning down he nuzzled her cheek with his._ _ **"Who says I'm making fun of you?"**_ _With that whispered question, he spun around and walked away._

 _Conscious not bite her crimson lips, she could feel the blood pool between her naked legs._ _ **"Why will I get to slay again?"**_

 _Loading his camera with film, he glanced in her direction._ _ **"Because I've allowed every clan, including my own, to send their best warriors to fight you, but only two at a time."**_

 _Buffy's eyes widened._ _ **"What?!"**_

" _ **You heard me."**_ _Snapping the lid shut, Angelus peered through the lens._

" _ **You put a hit on me?"**_

 _Satisfied with the equipment strolled towards her propped up figure._ _ **"You can say that."**_

 _She promptly exploded in rage._ _ **"I can say that? I DID just say that! Whatever happened to that whole 'You belong to me' crap? You're just dishing me out like that?! I can't fucking believe you!"**_ _Ignoring the signs of displeasure on his flawless face she yelled,_ _ **"No, I take that back. I CAN believe you'd be that much of a backstabber! It just makes me sick-"**_

" _ **Buffy."**_

" _ **What?"**_ _she growled._

" _ **Shut. Up."**_ _Lifting up his camera he clicked off a shot._

 _Narrowing her eyes in hurt fury she hissed,_ _ **"This…fashion shoot…is all you care about!"**_

 _Angelus took a few steps to the side._ _ **"You should be pleased that this 'fashion shoot' is important to me. It takes my attention off of what you just screamed. If it didn't, I most definitely would be warming your backside right now."**_

 _Before she could blink back her tears, one slid down her face._ _ **"Why do you even bother? Why do I?"**_ _Immediately she felt equal parts embarrassment, anger, and sadness for showing her emotions so plainly._

 _Click_

" _ **Perfect."**_ _Correctly reading her bewilderment, Angelus explained._ _ **"I was looking for one shot. You gave it to me. We're done."**_

" _ **You're right. We are."**_ _Sitting up Buffy slid off the divan and searched for her robe._

 _Watching her movements with an emotionless eye, he set the camera down._ _ **"What are you doing?"**_

 _She ignored him and picked up the discarded silk._

" _ **Was there any specific…meaning…in your words?"**_

 _The sounds of her sleeves snagging on the gold cuffs was the only answered he received._

" _ **Oh, no. Here we go again. The silent treatment. My little girl would rather huff and pout instead of communicating like a mature adult."**_

 _As expected, he drew a rise out of her._

" _ **What is the point, my exalted Master? My feelings are insignificant compared to your hobbies. It's of ABSOLUTELY no value to even have the COURTESY of attempting to understand why I'd be so mad."**_

" _ **I can agree."**_

 _Glaring at him for a several seconds Buffy let out a cry of rage._ _ **"You're such an asshole! I don't even know why I bother with this! I have so much going on in my life already."**_

" _ **Because you love me."**_

 _Unable to deny his words, she let out an angry sigh._ _ **"I try with you, Angelus. I really do, but you make it impossible to love you. You push me away every chance you get."**_

" _ **But you still love me, don't you?"**_

 _Crossing her arms defensively she looked away._ _ **"So? You're still mean. You don't care about my feelings at all."**_

" _ **I'm not Angel."**_

" _ **I know that! I'm not asking you to be him! I'm just asking for-"**_

 _He narrowed his eyes with interest._ _ **"What? Tell me."**_

" _ **A little consideration."**_

 _Angelus let out a short bark of anger and began circling Buffy._ _ **"A little consideration?"**_ _Stopping he leaned close to her small ear._ _ **"But you haven't given me any."**_

 _Buffy jerked away._ _ **"I have too."**_

" _ **No you haven't. You just jumped to conclusions, hell bent on thinking the worst of me."**_

 _Staring ahead she emotionlessly murmured,_ _ **"You put a hit on me. You offered me up to any vampire who wants me. Should I thank you?"**_

" _ **Your mere existence is an offer to any vampire roaming the land."**_ _He traced the lines of her shoulder with one finger._ _ **"And as a matter of fact, you should. I'm helping take care of some loose ends."**_

 _Shuddering because of his gentle touch, she closed her eyes._ _ **"Meaning?"**_

" _ **You haven't been slaying many vampires for a while now. So Giles has probably contacted the Council with his concerns. They might decide to start investigating. We don't want that, do we?"**_

 _A tense moment of silence passed._ _ **"No."**_

 _Angelus came around her. He lightly gripped her neck with one hand and tilted her head back._

" _ **This way, everything returns to status quo."**_ _He leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on her lips._ _ **"And what makes it even better is that Giles will hear that I'm behind the attacks on you."**_

 _Seeing her confusion on her face he clarified._ _ **"Given what's been written about me, I'm sure he wonders why I haven't come after you."**_

 _Fixated on the beautiful picture he made with her lipstick on his mouth she shared,_ _ **"I think he hopes you've forgotten about me."**_

 _Angelus clasped her hips and tugged her forward._ _ **"Like that would be possible."**_

 _Buffy's heart quickened._ _ **'Is he saying more?' "Angelus?"**_

 _ **"What?"**_

" _ **What if I lose?"**_

 _An expression of distaste crossed his handsome face._

" _ **Where's your spine girl? You were already an excellent Slayer to begin with and now after our bond, you're practically unstoppable. What would you have to worry about from a few ego-driven bloodsuckers?"**_

 _A blush dusted a pink bloom of pleasure across her cheeks._ _ **"So you're saying I could kick your ass then?"**_

 _A dark brow flew up in disbelief._ _ **"Hardly, Baby."**_

 _An impish lifted one side of her crimson mouth. She poked him with one finger._ _ **"Yes you are."**_

 _He started growling in warning._

 _Instead of being intimidated Buffy grew bolder._ _ **"I can beat you up! I can beat you up!"**_ _she sang in litany while poking his chest with each hand._

" _ **Buff."**_

" _ **What?"**_

" _ **Stop it."**_

" _ **No."**_ _She watched in fascination as his face transformed._ _ **"A girl can kick your ass! A girl can kick your ass!"**_

 _Angelus suddenly lunged for her only to come up empty._

 _Buffy's laughter echoed throughout the room as she danced away._ _ **"Too fast for you? Aww, poor vampy."**_

 _He smiled, displaying a wicked set of fangs._ _ **"You want to play, lover? Let's play."**_ _Without another word he gave chase._

 _She took off running with a little scream. Sprinting from room to room she felt the exhilaration flood her veins. Just as he came within inches of grabbing her, Buffy sped away. It became a game to her—each time she let Angelus get a little closer before spinning away._

 _As the minutes passed it became obvious to Buffy that he was playing too. Right before he approached her, Angelus would purposely slow his movements until he was a visible blur._

 _One time he got close enough to touch her hair before she took off through the study. Buffy's continuous laughter would've given her away if it weren't for her enhanced speed._

 _Finally coming to a stop she crouched behind a pillar and scanned the shadows. She couldn't hear Angelus at all. Several minutes passed before her laughter ended and tiny spurt of nervousness jumped through her veins. She couldn't stand the idea of being caught._

 _Especially after she had taunted him._

' _ **Where is he?'**_ _Creeping cautiously out from her hiding spot, she heard Angelus a split-second too late._

 _Barely having a chance to look up she felt his body tackle hers._ _ **"Oomph!"**_

 _His eyes swirled between gold and emerald, entrancing her with their primal beauty._ _ **"Gotcha!"**_

 _Panting from beneath him she breathed,_ _ **"I let you get me."**_

" _ **Ha!"**_ _Angelus brought his face down and delicately scraped her neck with a fang._ _ **"You grew impatient and that's why you got sloppy."**_

 _Squirming she cried,_ _ **"I did not!"**_ _before her voice trailed away._ _ **"Okay, maybe I did but-"**_

" _ **There is no 'but' Buff."**_ _Pushing up on his hands he growled,_ _ **"I've told you time and time again that you have to master your impatience. It's your greatest weakness. The vampires coming for you aren't going to be entranced by a pretty face. They are coming for your blood."**_

 _He gracefully stood up and held out a hand._

 _Accepting his help she mumbled sourly,_ _ **"I thought you said I could take them."**_

" _ **You can."**_ _His vampire visage was still in place, as well as his borrowed lipstick._ _ **"But not if you're unfocused. Playtime is over, lover. They're not going to be like the vamps you dust around here. By the way, this is the second time someone's gotten the drop on you from above. Don't let it happen again."**_

 _Entwining her fingers with his Buffy giggled._

 _Annoyed he barked,_ _ **"What's so funny?"**_

" _ **You."**_ _Clarifying she arched her feet and reached up with her free hand to touch his mouth._ _ **"I've never seen a boy vampire with lipstick."**_

 _Hauling her over his shoulder Angelus slapped her naked bottom hard._ _ **"Here I am, trying to be serious with you and you laugh at me. Fine then. Be a corpse."**_

 _Rubbing his naked back with her cheek she pressed a kiss against the cool flesh._ _ **"I'm sorry."**_

" _ **For what?"**_

" _ **Umm…for…laughing at you?"**_

 _Tossing her on the couch he crossed his arms and sighed._ _ **"With that weak apology you leave me no choice. I'm going to have to eat you."**_

 _Buffy boldly lifted one leg on the back and dropped the other on the floor._ _ **"By all means."**_

 _A reluctant smile appeared on his mouth._ _ **"Now who's the pervert?"**_

Buffy bit her lip as an echoing smile flitted across her mouth. She HAD been a pervert that night. That was also the first time she had ever used a vibrator. Her maidenly reactions had amused her vampire tremendously.

 _Angelus took a deep breath before smiling gently._ _ **"Lover."**_

 _The kind expression on his face made Buffy scoot back._

 _His dark brows raised in surprise._ _ **"What?"**_

" _ **What's wrong with your face?"**_

" _ **What do you mean?"**_

" _ **You look…nice."**_ _Clamping her legs closed she suspiciously asked,_ _ **"What are you planning on doing?"**_

" _ **Ah. I forgot. You actually like me violent and crude. Forgive me."**_ _Grabbing her ankle he hauled her back down and placed her legs over his._

" _ **Angelus!"**_

" _ **Unless you're moaning my name-not a word."**_ _Nudging her wet folds with the head of his cock, Angelus easily slid in. Starting a slow teasing rhythm he watched Buffy's flushed face with interest._ _ **"Touch your nipples."**_

 _Buffy obeyed with very little reluctance._

" _ **Squeeze them. Hard. Harder."**_

" _ **Ah!"**_ _she cried in pained pleasure._

" _ **Good girl,"**_ _he crooned while keeping a deliberate pace. Angelus lifted her leg and began licking the sensitive skin behind her ankle._ _ **"Now I want you to touch yourself."**_

 _Without hesitation Buffy slid her fingers past the chains, down to the damp curls between her legs._

" _ **It feels nice, doesn't it?"**_

 _She arched her hips and felt a tight ache of want flood her system. She wanted more. She wanted to feel his body slamming into hers. She wanted to feel…more. Suddenly Buffy heard a low buzzing sound in her ears. Her fingers fell away as Angelus held a small vibrator against her clit._

" _ **Where'd you-"**_

" _ **Hold it."**_

" _ **But…umm…I…oh! I mean, I've never…"**_

" _ **I know. However, unlike me, it's not going to bite you. Hold it."**_

 _Gazing at him through heavy eyes, Buffy shyly reached out and wrapped her fingers around the pink object. A small smile crossed her face._ _ **"Pink?"**_

 _Leaning over her small body, he balanced himself on one arm while holding up her leg._ _ **"I'm starting you off tame, lover. Say thank you."**_

" _ **Thank you, Angelus,"**_ _she murmured sweetly._

 _With a smirk he began a fast rhythm that soon had her crying aloud with carnal satisfaction. Buffy's embarrassment faded quickly as the dual sensations overcame every part of her body. Soon she began her familiar pant, alerting her vampire lover that release was imminent._

 _He obsessively watched every shift of her expression, warming her with the sensation that he saw HER._

 _Afterwards, as they lay entwined on the bed Buffy suddenly laughed out loud. Holding the silent vibrator in her hand, she turned it on with a twist._ _ **"It's so cute!"**_ _Angelus' chest rumbled beneath her ear in response. Examining the sexual device she exclaimed,_ _ **"I always thought they looked like…well…you KNOW…but this one doesn't."**_

 _He kept his eyes closed as he murmured,_ _ **"Its only job is to satisfy your clit-it doesn't need to look like a cock."**_

" _ **But what if I want it to do more?"**_

 _Angelus opened up one eye._

" _ **You just started masturbating-what-maybe a few weeks ago and now you want a dildo? Aren't I enough? Especially after two times already tonight? I'm surprised you can even walk."**_

 _Impishly grinning she kissed his mouth quickly._

" _ **But you're not always around. Maybe I need back-up."**_

 _An enigmatic smile hovered on his lips. Reaching over he took the pink rival out of her hands and let his hand creep down beneath the covers._

 _Buffy let out a smothered yelp and startled._

" _ **I didn't say now!"**_

" _ **I know, but it pleases me."**_

 _Quickly inhaling she stuttered,_ _ **"W-What?"**_

 _Pressing a heated kiss on her shoulder Angelus answered,_ _ **"Your appetite. You're ready for more."**_

Standing up, Buffy saw who she was waiting for. She quietly made her way towards the front of the dais and thought, _He was right. I was ready to test my limits. Little did I know my limits weren't just about sex, but my beliefs too._

" _ **It's amazing how we've been able to hide this for so long."**_ _Accepting her lover's courtesy, she waited until he pushed her seat in before saying,_ _ **"I mean, here I am in San Francisco with you and no one knows."**_

 _Sliding into the chair across from his mistress, Angelus smirked._

" _ **Because they all think you went to see your darling Daddy."**_

 _Buffy lifted up her goblet and took a tiny sip of the wine, barely suppressing the alcohol-induced shudder._ _ **'It tastes so strong.' "Are you sure my Mom won't call?"**_

 _Leaning back in his chair he lightly shrugged._ _ **"She'll wait until you call her."**_ _He graced her with a smug look._ _ **"I'm sure of it."**_

 _She frowned and dropped her eyes. The excitement of an illicit weekend getaway suddenly didn't seem so appealing._ _ **'He manipulated her mind yesterday. Enough so that I was able to leave last night and she never noticed.'**_

" _ **What's wrong, lover?"**_ _His voice, although low and even, held an edge of impatience._

" _ **Nothing,"**_ _she replied softly and looked out the window. Distantly she noticed how the skyline was beautiful at night._

" _ **Don't lie to me. You know how much I despise lying."**_

 _Buffy heard the warning in his voice and turned back to him._ _ **"It's wrong, Angelus. Going into my mother's mind is wrong-and I shouldn't have let you do it."**_

" _ **Let me soothe your conscience on one issue, Baby. You wouldn't have been able to stop me, so quit feeling guilty over something you had no control over."**_

 _She bristled slightly upon hearing the arrogance in his tone._ _ **'I hate it when he talks like that.'**_ _Her reaction did not go unnoticed by Angelus._

" _ **Is there a problem, Buff?"**_

 _Buffy lifted her chin and murmured,_ _ **"I guess there isn't."**_

 _Angelus sighed before commanding,_ _ **"Come here."**_ _He watched as she slowly obeyed and waited until she stood by his side. Pushing his chair back he lifted her until she was settled comfortably on his lap. Gently stroking her back he softly stated,_ _ **"Your guilt only brings you unnecessary pain, lover. You want to be with me, I want to be with you. Whatever methods are used shouldn't matter, as long as we both get what we want."**_

 _Closing her eyes she felt the tension seep from her body. Resting her cheek against his neck she quietly disagreed._ _ **"It's not that simple, Angelus."**_

" _ **Why? She wasn't hurt. What I did doesn't hurt humans."**_

" _ **Maybe not, but where do we draw the line? First it's one thing that seems pretty insignificant and harmless, but then eventually it gets corrupted. We may be stronger than humans, but that doesn't mean we have the right to use our strength against them."**_

 _Buffy lifted her head up and lightly touched his tense jaw._ _ **"I want to be with you so much that I forget that sometimes."**_ _Leaning up to kiss the scowl tugging at his firm mouth, she whispered,_ _ **"I love you so much that I don't care…until I really think about it."**_

 _Angelus' eyes burned with cold fire as his hand pressed against her naked back._ _ **"If you were a vampire it wouldn't matter."**_ _He repeated himself from before._ _ **"Your guilt brings you pain. If you weren't human, you wouldn't feel it anymore."**_

 _An expression of distaste crossed her pretty features. Before she could say anything the familiar sneer marked Angelus' dark beauty._ _ **"Forget I brought it up, lover. Your guilt is your own."**_ _Easily lifting her off his lap he muttered,_ _ **"The mood is quite broken, Buff. I suggest you return to your chair before I decide to call this whole weekend off."**_

 _Seating herself once again, Buffy felt sadness overtake her. As long as they pretended nothing else existed, they got along very well. As long as the real world made no appearance, she could allow herself to be directed by Angelus on every level and not feel badly for it._

 _But theirs was a world not based on reality-only fantasy._

 _Angelus raised his hand and signaled for her dinner to be served._

"Buffy. How good of you to come."

Sincerity shone brightly in her face as she returned the greeting. "Father Marion, how's it been?"

A few lines crinkled at the corners of his merry blue eyes. "Holiness must be on the rise today-I haven't had many confessors."

"That's an awesome goody, right? Even though it might put you out of a job."

Walking alongside the blonde girl the priest answered, "I'm actually one of the few who would be delighted to stand in the unemployment line."

Buffy giggled at his words.

"I'm completely with you. I'd have no problem turning in my stakes and collecting unemployment. No better yet-retirement."

"In your case, Buffy, it's completely understandable."

Entering through the antechamber, her eyes never failed to appreciate the dark polished wood lining the room. The smell of beeswax wafted through the air, attesting to faithful upkeep. She waited until Father Marion opened the next door and led her through a series of twisting corridors that led them beneath the church foundation.

Arriving at a stone wall, he discreetly pressed against the hidden latch and stepped back. The solid wall slid back to reveal a large, heavy door. Removing an intricately forged key from beneath his robes, the priest inserted it into the lock and turned the key with small effort. Father Marion then politely ushered Buffy into the room before closing the door behind them.

"Are you sure they won't miss you upstairs?"

"No. Father Kelly is available to see the parishioners." Walking over to a small refrigerator he offered Buffy some refreshments. "Are you thirsty?"

"Yes, please." Accepting the bottled water with a smile, she sat in one of the worn but comfortable chairs. Careful to make sure there were no books nearby, she set her drink down on a side table and watched as the priest poured himself a glass of milk.

"How long has this been down here again?"

Returning the milk back to the refrigerator, Father Marion pulled out a wrapped sub and answered, "Before this church was built. There are no records of exactly when it was constructed, but I estimate it to be about three centuries."

"Wow." Slipping her shoes off Buffy stretched her legs and laid her head back. Life was funny. She first saw Father Marion the morning after Angelus had bit her and then threw her out. Never did she expect to see him again.

" _ **Look to him and you'll find salvation."**_

" _ **What did you say?"**_

 _ **"You looked troubled. Look to him and you will found the answers you seek."**_

Buffy had no idea that a mere month later she would be spending at least two afternoons a week with him. As part of her training she was studying demonology with Father Marion.

"Here, take half, Buffy."

Shifting her head to the side she asked, "Are you sure?"

His gentle eyes brightened with humor. "I'm positive. After all, a growing Slayer needs all the nutrients she can get."

Accepting the sub and a napkin she took a bite before moaning in bliss. "This is SO good."

"Thank you. I tried a different oil this time."

As they ate in companionable silence, Buffy remembered when the first time Giles had brought her to the quaint church. Recognizing it from before, she had nearly fallen to the ground when she also saw the same priest who had seen her wearing only a leather duster.

Afraid that he might mention it she felt nausea with fear. However, when their introductions were made Father Marion merely smiled and said, "Nice to meet you, Buffy. I hope I'll be able to help you in any way I can."

Although it had been strange at first to study under someone other than her Watcher, she soon adjusted. The priest was patient and calm, soothing Buffy's agitation when she grew tired of staying in one place too long. Whereas Giles found it to be more a struggle to capture her attention completely, she found it nature to concentrate on Father Marion.

Through her studies she gained new prospective on the creatures she slayed, using the information to formulate better strategies and quicker kills. Yet that wasn't all she had gained during the past month.

Over time Father Marion had become somewhat of a confidant, listening to her fears when she voiced them and always finding a way to put them in a safer light. However, no matter how close she had become to this gentle warrior of God, Buffy still tried kept certain secrets close to her heart.

"Giles has told me that a vampiric decree has been placed against you."

She nodded as she swallowed the last bite.

"Yep. There seems to be a big 'notch on the belt' thing going on in the vampire world."

Turning towards her, the priest softly said, "He also told me that Angelus is the one who placed the decree."

Carefully dropping her eyes she felt familiar guilt burn her conscience. She was supposed to be heart-broken over this bit of news, but it was harder to function through the lie. It was hell to lie all the time. It was killing her inside to pretend that she was someone she wasn't.

"Given your history with him, I can imagine that this must be very difficult for you, Buffy."

"It's not exactly easy."

A moment of silence passed before Father Marion quietly shared, "It's not too late, Buffy. You can still give him up."

Feeling tears fill her eyes, she rapidly blinked the away. "But I don't want to give him up."

The priest released a compassionate sigh. "I know you don't, Buffy. However, nothing good can come of this. No matter how infatuated Angelus is with you, eventually he will kill you."

She sniffled once and waited until her voice had more control.

"You're like Giles, aren't you? You don't think vampires are capable of love."

Father Marion's answer was immediate.

"I absolutely believe they are capable of love. However, Angelus is different. His human scars run too deep."

Looking into his blue eyes she whispered, "Lady Fiona."

He nodded his head in agreement. "Lady Fiona." Folding his hands and placing them on his lap he continued. "Infidelity is the core of his insecurity. Angelus is a slave to the endless cycle of trust and fidelity. He doesn't trust you and therefore he needs you to continuously prove your devotion to him. But your efforts will never be enough and eventually you will commit the very act he fears."

Buffy's brows drew into a frown as she hotly cried, "I'd never cheat on him! Never!"

The priest was not offended by her angry tone. Instead he asked, "But would you leave him?"

She paused and then replied, "No. I love him." Immediately she felt compelled to explain. "I didn't want to, Father Marion. I fought against it. I know he's not Angel-"

"You don't have to justify your love for Angelus, Buffy. I don't condemn you for your feelings."

Several seconds of silence elapsed as she revisited her conviction. _Would I leave him? I know I just said I wouldn't, but that isn't entirely true._

 _Angelus had been furious with her._

 _Laying on her bed Buffy felt as if the demons of Hell were feasting on her heart. Her eyes were swelling faster than her body could repair them. The tears just kept pouring as she remembered his heartless words._

" _ **You are such a worthless bitch, did you know that Buff? Who are you to make judgments on Druscilla? At least she had the grace of complete obedience, whereas you are a pitiful excuse for a consort."**_

" _ **How can you say that to me?"**_

" _ **Apparently you are stupid on top of being worthless. Get out of my sight and do not even think of returning here until you learn respect for your Master."**_

 _It had been eight days since Angelus had dismissed her from his presence. All she had said was,_ _ **"How did you stand Druscilla enough to turn her? It's so annoying to hear her talk! Does she ever say anything without, 'Ooh the stars are whispering my name?' or something equally annoying? If you ask me, Spike went through too much trouble trying to drain Angel to save her."**_

 _Curling up on her bed Buffy couldn't deny the agony pounding in her body. She hadn't fed Angelus and apparently her blood suffered his loss. Thinking about it reminded her that SOMEONE was feeding him._

' _ **But who?'**_

 _In the past seven nights her hunts had been going on until dawn, in the hopes of ensuring Angelus was not creating more vampires via feedings._

 _She never saw a trace of him._

 _Feverishly Buffy had scanned the obituaries, but the death count had not risen at all. Who was feeding him? Then her thoughts returned to the seemingly fragile vampiress._ _ **'Right now, is he with that bitch?'**_

 _Clutching the pillow against her chest she let out a watery sob. Apparently Angelus was fiercely loyal to his former mistress, enough so that he punished Buffy for speaking against her._ _ **'Maybe he loves her? Is that why he defended her?'**_

 _The thought brought forth a fresh bout of tears before Buffy eventually broke under the strain._

' _ **I can't stay here. I can't take this. I have to leave.'**_

 _Walking towards her closet on unsteady feet, she quickly threw her suitcase on the floor. Unmindful of the noise she was creating, Buffy softly muttered,_ _ **"Mom's in Europe for another week. She won't need to know. I'll take the emergency money and my bank card. I can be out of Sunnydale in an hour. I'll figure out something to tell Giles. I just need to get out of here."**_

 _She haphazardly threw in random articles of clothing before shutting the case. Not caring that her face was a blotchy mess, Buffy quickly ran a brush through her locks before securing it into a ponytail. Shoving her feet into a pair of running shoes she grabbed a lightweight jacket and picked up her suitcase._

 _Jogging down the stairs she walked into her mother's office and took a hundred dollars in cash. Buffy rummaged through the lock box before finding her ATM card. Flipping it over she saw that she hadn't even signed it yet. Plucking a pen from Joyce's desk she hastily scrawled her signature and then thrust the card in her jacket._

 _Ready to leave, Buffy grabbed her mother's keys and mumbled a silent prayer of thanks that she had left the car at home instead of the airport. She locked the door and briskly walked to the parked SUV. Disengaging the alarm Buffy threw her suitcase in the back seat and slid behind the wheel. Turning on the engine she got ready to reverse when a black Rodeo suddenly pulled up behind her._

' _ **Angelus!'**_

 _Staring at him in the rearview mirror she tightened her fingers on the steering wheel. He was parked so close behind her that she didn't even have room to back up an inch. Turning off the car she slid the key from the ignition and placed her hands back on the wheel._

' _ **Why is he here? Is it coincidence or did he find out what I was planning on doing?'**_

 _Buffy abruptly heard his door slam shut and ducked her head a bit. The sound of his even footsteps inspired sick fear and twisted devotion in her gut._

 _The tapping on the window was clearly meant for her, but Buffy merely stared straight ahead without removing her hands from their place._

 _A second passed before the crunch of glass made her jump and turn towards him. Angelus had put his fist through the window, but instead of the window spraying all over her, it merely crackled before flopping in one piece on her shoulder._

" _ **Hmm, well what do we have here? A suitcase full of clothes I take it?"**_ _A tense pause passed before he purred,_ _ **"Going somewhere, lover?"**_

 _Refusing to meet his dangerous stare, Buffy fixated her gaze on the view in front of her._

" _ **Get out of the car, Buff."**_

 _Mulishly she tightened her mouth and disobeyed._ _ **'I need to get out of here. I can't take this. I have to go.'**_

 _A harsh chuckle echoed eerily in her ear before Angelus reached in and unlocked the door. Opening it with a steady hand he repeated,_ _ **"Get out of the car, Buff."**_

" _ **No."**_

 _Her one word of defiance apparently snapped the slim thread of control he possessed. Yanking her out of the vehicle, Angelus dragged her struggling body to his Rodeo. He quickly opened up his door before tossing her inside._

 _Buffy immediately lunged and opened the passenger side before she ran into the night._

 _Speeding through the streets of Sunnydale she knew it was nearly impossible to elude Angelus, but she didn't care._ _ **'He doesn't love me. No matter how much I try to be everything he wants, it's never enough. He'll never love me.'**_

 _Angelus had taken Druscilla's side over hers and then banished her from his presence. He didn't care about how little it made her feel to know that she wasn't the most important person in his life. He didn't care about how anything made her feel unless it was under his direction. The bitter truth that she could not deny was that Angelus still thought of her as being beneath him._

 _And the unhappy consequence was that it tore her apart._

' _ **I need to get away from everything. I need to leave here.'**_

 _As Buffy ducked behind buildings she wondered where she could go. The bus station was too deserted and the small airport was definitely out. It was then that she realized she still held her car keys clutched in her hand._

 _Doubling back to her house she cautiously checked to see if Angelus was anywhere in sight. Noting that his SUV was gone she debated on whether she should wait a few more minutes in case he came driving by or if she should take her chances and go._

' _ **Just go.'**_

 _Buffy immediately sprinted towards the car and flung open the door. Jamming her key in the ignition, she ignored the cracked sheet of glass and threw the gearshift into reverse. Peeling out of the driveway she stomped on the gas and flew down the street. Within minutes Buffy was on the highway out of Sunnydale._

 _The wind was cold against her face, inspiring fierce shivers to periodically rack her body. The miles accumulated in a dizzy blur of bright headlights and seemingly endless tracks of road. Eventually she pulled off onto an exit and found a mid-price hotel. Emotionally exhausted she grabbed her suitcase and walked towards the entrance._

' _ **I'm tired. I need to go to bed.'**_

 _Reaching out with one hand she pulled on the doors but they wouldn't open. Buffy tried again before reading the small plastic sign posted on the wall. After she pressed a button, she was shortly buzzed in._

 _The desk clerk looked slightly tired but managed to be friendly and polite._ _ **"Hello! Checking in?"**_

 _Setting her case on the floor she nodded her head and replied,_ _ **"Yes."**_

" _ **Alright, but I do need to inform you that because you are checking in before 7:00am your check-out time will still be 11:30am."**_

 _Buffy mulled it over for a second before nodding her head._ _ **"Okay. Can I have a wake-up call set?"**_

" _ **Of course. Now I'll just need your drivers license to check you in."**_

' _ **Drivers license!'**_ _Buffy could feel her face pale as she frantically began searching her pockets._ _ **"It's gotta be here somewhere. I know I didn't leave it."**_ _Glancing at the desk clerk she apologetically smiled and murmured, "I'll just need a minute. I seem to have misplaced it, but I'm sure it's here somewhere."_

" _ **No problem. Take all the time you need."**_

 _Buffy felt a sweat break out on her forehead as she dug through her belongings only to come up empty._ _ **'I didn't bring it. I can't believe I was so stupid to have left my license at home!'**_ _Standing up she sheepishly explained,_ _ **"I can't find my license."**_ _Seeing the regretful expression on the clerk's face Buffy rushed out with,_ _ **"But I have money and I can give you my address!"**_

" _ **I'm sorry Ma'am, but our policies are quite specific regarding check-in. I can't check anyone in without a valid ID."**_

 _Although knowing it was a losing cause Buffy attempted one last plea._

" _ **But I'm really tired and I need a room."**_

" _ **I understand, Ma'am, and I'm truly sorry,"**_ _the clerk abruptly stopped and murmured,_ _ **"Excuse me."**_ _The tiny hum of a buzz sounded in Buffy's ears. A terrible ache drummed in her neck, causing her blood to shriek in tortured bliss._ _ **'No.'**_ _Immediately, she lifted her head and saw Angelus gracefully stalking into the foyer._

' _ **Fuck me!'**_ _She bent down and snatched up her suitcase, fully intent on leaving before he got within six feet of her._ _ **"Thanks for your help. I'll just keep going. Goodnight."**_

 _Before the clerk could say anything Angelus raised his hand up and coldly ordered,_ _ **"You don't see anything in the lobby right now,"**_ _without stopping._ _ **"We've left to go to another hotel and there's no one here."**_ _Instantly, the clerk turned around and resumed her previous tasks._

" _ **You pulled off too soon, Baby. You should've waited until daybreak."**_

 _Trapped beneath the menace of his stare, Buffy's fingers tightened on the handle of her suitcase. Nervously she looked over her shoulder and watched as the clerk let out a sleepy yawn before sitting down out of sight._

' _ **There's nowhere I can run now, so the least I can do is show a little bit of pride. I'm not going to be afraid.'**_ _Emboldened by her thoughts she lifted her chin and softly stated,_ _ **"You just don't get the hint, do you?"**_ _However, she still took a couple of steps back._

 _He ignored her question and continued to stalk her down._

" _ **Buffy, I'm going to tell you something and I want you to listen carefully."**_ _Stopping directly in front of her, Angelus' rage was barely contained as he clenched his jaw repeatedly._ _ **"If you ever try to leave me again, I'll break you. I'll break into a thousand pieces and nothing anyone does will EVER put you back together again. Do you understand me?"**_

' _ **The only reason why he's even here is because I didn't do what he wanted me to. He doesn't care about me. Only his pride is wounded. The only person he remotely cares about is Druscilla. Not me.'**_

 _Her heart started beating with heavy precision before it erupted in fury._

" _ **Who the hell do you think you are?!"**_ _Buffy screamed, completely forgetting the presence of the clerk._ _ **"You LEFT me for eight nights! EIGHT FUCKING NIGHTS!"**_ _Dropping her suitcase on the floor, she shoved him and screeched,_ _ **"You don't have ANY right to threaten me about anything!"**_

 _Grabbing hold of her wrists, Angelus yanked Buffy towards him and growled in return,_ _ **"Have you lost your damned mind?!"**_

" _ **Yes! Yes, I have, LOVER,"**_ _she sneered. Breaking free from him she felt angry tears well in her eyes._ _ **"You toss me aside whenever you feel like it, don't you, LOVER? Just because I said something against your precious, insane bitch!"**_

" _ **Don't tell me you're jealous?"**_ _he arrogantly smirked._

 _If he had expected Buffy to deny her insecurities, he was wrong._

" _ **I am. So what? Why wouldn't I be jealous? I LOVE YOU, you worthless, dead bastard!"**_ _Her voice deepened as notes of melancholic discord came through._ _ **"But that isn't enough, is it? So why are you even here?"**_

" _ **Isn't it obvious?"**_ _His dark, mocking voice was full of future retribution._ _ **"To bring my disobedient bitch to heel."**_

 _A terrible fire of spurned hurt fury exploded in the depths of usually clear hazel eyes. Buffy stepped back as a bitter smile twisted her lips._ _ **"Bitch, huh? I'm no better than a dog to you, am I?"**_ _Without waiting for his answer she steadily asked,_ _ **"If I'm a dog, then what is she, Angelus?"**_

 _The vampire's immediate answer broke her damaged heart._

" _ **Dru is a little piece of beautiful history, that's what she is, Slayer. She was someone worth turning, worth remembering."**_

 _Closing her eyes briefly, Buffy felt the world shift and sway._ _ **'I won't cry. I won't give him the satisfaction.'**_ _She leaned down and picked up her suitcase._ _ **"If you want her so badly, why don't you go trotting after her like the sorry dog you are?"**_

" _ **Because unlike someone I know, she's sitting at home, faithfully waiting."**_

' _ **Son of a bitch!'**_ _Standing up to her full height, Buffy swallowed once before saying,_ _ **"Home, huh? Well, don't you think you should get back before she decides to go throw herself off a cliff or something? I mean that is what your type of women seem to want to do."**_

 _She paused for a moment, completely ignoring the mean light growing in his eyes with each second._ _ **"Oh that's right. I forgot. That wasn't a woman flipping out because you left her-that was someone who flipped out because you WOULDN'T leave."**_ _Walking past his rigid form with suitcase in hand, Buffy coldly muttered,_ _ **"Take the hint, Angelus."**_

 _His hand whipped and brutally squeezed her arm._ _ **"How dare you speak to me in that tone, you insolent little girl?"**_

 _Yanking her arm away she spat,_ _ **"How dare I? How dare I? I'll tell you how far I dare-you took that bitch's side over me! You punished ME because of HER. You threw me out and didn't want to see me at all! Well, now this time I don't want to see YOU."**_ _Jabbing a finger in his direction she furiously shouted,_ _ **"I don't want to hear you, feel you, or even talk to you! Got that?"**_

 _The dark vampire's face was set, only the cold fire burning in his eyes reflected the banked rage within him._ _ **"Well, that's just too fucking bad, Buff. Come on-we're leaving."**_

' _ **He's not listening to anything I'm saying. He's had plenty of opportunity to deny Druscilla's importance to him and he hasn't. He even pretty much told me she was someone he wanted by his side forever and that's why he made her. I mean nothing to him. He doesn't see just me.'**_

 _Buffy felt the coldness of desolation slink about her body and turn it into a vessel filled with unbearable pain. She closed her eyes briefly and thought,_ _ **'I know I'm splintering. I know I'm cracking under the strain of all these lies. I feel as if I'm dying inside. I can't take it. Death is preferable to this.'**_

 _When Angelus reached for her arm once again, Buffy reached up and pulled out her necklace. His immediate hiss signified that he had indeed seen the delicate cross hanging there. Observing his contorted features, she suffered a lash of agony at the sincerity of her next words._ _ **'If he can't just see me, I won't be with him. I can't.'**_

 _Circling him and making her way to the entrance Buffy emotionlessly stated,_ _ **"It's over, Angelus. It's fucking over. I'm sick of you and the way you treat me. Your heart belongs to Druscilla and that's where it belongs."**_ _Reaching the door she clarified,_ _ **"Don't think I'm being noble and giving you up for her because I love you and want to see you happy. I'm ending it because I won't be a replacement for another girl. No matter what I've done for you, I won't do that."**_

 _Angelus' reaction to her words was brutal and vicious. With an enraged howl he rushed Buffy and knocked the cross out of her hand. The momentum of his speed sent them both crashing through the glass door._

 _Crouched over her he screamed,_ _ **"Fuck you, Buffy Summers!"**_

 _Wincing from the pain of glass digging into her back, Buffy vaguely noted,_ _ **'I've never heard him scream before. He kinda sounds desperate. Strange.'**_ _Following that thought, she began struggling to throw him off of her._

 _Angelus lifted her head and abruptly slammed it into the concrete. Ignoring the muffled cry she let out, he hissed,_ _ **"Now you listen to me, you dumb bitch. I won't let you go. Ever!"**_

 _Taking her suitcase, she slammed it into his side._ _ **"Get off of me!"**_

 _He sank his fangs into her neck without preamble. Sucking her blood down with ravenous hunger he ignored her flailing limbs and curses until her body went limp. Releasing her neck he looked down into her pale face and saw her hazel eyes glittering with betrayal and sadness._

" _ **So this is what it comes to, huh, Angelus?"**_ _Without removing her gaze from his she whispered,_ _ **"Finish it."**_

 _His answer was cruelly whispered in return._ _ **"You wish."**_ _Roughly pulling her up he bent down and slid his arm beneath her knees. Settling her slight weigh in his arms, he picked up her suitcase as well and strode over to the small parking area._

 _In the distance Buffy could hear the clerk tell several sleepy guests that,_ _ **"No there wasn't anyone in the lobby having a fight"**_ _before stopping in mid-sentence. It was obvious that they saw the broken glass._ _ **'I can barely move. He took so much blood from me. Not enough to kill me, but enough to make me like this. Damnit. Why wasn't I fast enough to stop him? Why is it that no matter how strong I get, he still beats me? Do I let him do it?'**_

 _Debating on which car to take, Angelus quickly strode over to Buffy's. She guessed it was because the broken driver-side window might attract more attention than he was willing to deal with at the moment._

 _Leaning her weak body against the door, he searched in her pockets until he found the keys. He lifted her up and came around the other side of the car, unlocked the door, and gently placed her within. Reaching in to buckle her up, Angelus brushed fallen strands of hair off her wound. Feeling her accusatory eyes on him, he looked up and stated,_ _ **"You brought it on yourself."**_

 _Buffy rolled her head away in response. The sounds of a door closing and then another opening echoed in her ears. Soon the engine started up and within a minute they were back on the highway._

 _The cold came shrieking through the window, assaulting Buffy with its unforgiving speed induced indifference. Soon her teeth were chattering uncontrollably as the chills racked across her powerless body. Apparently in response to her actions, she heard Angelus turn on the heater full blast and angle the vents in her direction._

 _Although the heat helped, it wasn't enough to put an end to the cold consuming every part of her. A few minutes went by before she felt the car veer off the highway and onto an exit ramp. Too weak to open her eyes, Buffy limply lay in her seat and wished that she could be warm again._ _ **'I guess I'm not that into Death as I thought.'**_

 _She felt the car stop. The brightness of overhead lights flooded the car from the passenger side._ _ **"If I leave the heat on, can I trust you to behave?"**_ _he quietly asked._

 _Forcing her eyes open, Buffy feebly nodded her head._ _ **"I'll be back,"**_ _was all that he said as he brushed a kiss across the closing wound on her neck._

 _She must've slid into unconsciousness because the next thing she knew she was being carried into a whirlpool tub filled with warm water. Limply lying against Angelus' naked chest, Buffy felt the beautiful heat penetrate her cold skin._ _ **'We're in a hotel.'**_

 _From far away she heard him softly whisper,_ _ **"I don't live at the Factory. I rarely even go there. I spend all my free nights with you. I don't paint her-I paint you. I don't buy gifts for her-I buy them for you. The only one who wears my chains is you. The only body to sleep in my bed is yours. Why can't you see that?"**_

' _ **He doesn't sound arrogant and nasty, like he usually does. He sounds…confused?' "Angelus?"**_ _Her voice was barely above a whisper, but it was filled with all the questions she couldn't ask._

 _His strong arms closed around hers minutely, but his answer was spoke volumes._ _ **"You brought me back to life. You can't ever leave me."**_ _The last words were nearly inaudible._ _ **"Don't leave me."**_

"I'd never leave him, Father. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone before."

"Even more than Angel?" The question hung in the air for a tiny moment before Buffy answered.

"It's not loving one more than the other. I love them both. That makes me sound awful, doesn't it?"

"No, Buffy. It doesn't."

She looked down as a frown flitted across her face. "It's hard to explain, but sometimes I feel as if I see echoes of Angel within Angelus." A moment passed as she slowly murmured, "And when I think about it, I'd almost swear that I saw pieces of Angelus in Angel." She immediately let out an embarrassed laugh. "I know that's not possible, being that the soul leaves the body, but…"

Father Marion's tone, as always, was calm and gentle. "I have a question for you, Buffy."

"Yes?"

"What if you were to find out that the soul doesn't leave the body? How would you feel then?"

"I don't understand."

"What if you were to find out that there are not two individuals residing in the body at different times, but two pieces of a whole sharing the same spiritual space?"

The implications of the question was nearly staggering. Buffy took a deep breath and answered, "Then it would mean that there is no excuse or pardon for guilt. And…"

He leaned forward, obviously interested in her answer. As the moments passed by in silence, Father Marion pressed with, "And what?"

She took a deep breath to shake off the uncertainty hovering about the corners of her mind. "And that there was hope."

The priest nodded his head. "But how would you feel? How would you treat him knowing there are not two separate men, but one?"

"I don't know." Her eyes took on a faraway look. "It would probably make me feel unbalanced. I mean, I would think back to everything I ever did or said from the moment he first came into my life and now."

"Is that all?"

Meeting Father Marion's even gaze, she murmured, "I would try to understand how Angel and Angelus could be so different."

"Perhaps it would be a question of conscience."

Digesting that bit of information, Buffy felt compelled to ask, "Father, is this question more than hypothetical?"

He tilted his head and answered, "If it were?"

Her eyes widened slightly before she replied, "I'd say it was impossible. Giles says that the soul leaves the body and a demon takes possession. The demon-"

"Retains all memories of its host, but is not that person. Yes, I know." Father Marion stood up and padded over the impressive tower of books lining one wall. Without turning around he stated, "I know you're strong, Buffy. I know that despite the darkness clouding your life, in the core of who you are, you're worthy of this mission Fate has bestowed on you."

He slid a thick book out of its position and carefully cradled it in his arms. "However, your life is spiraling out of control. There is no balance between the darkness and the light. You are lying to everyone in your life and finding peace only within the arms of demon. He has seduced away your clarity. The only way you can come through this unscathed is to find yourself and stand by who you really are."

Buffy carefully took in Father Marion's words. "I don't know who I am." Softly sighing she explained, "When I'm with my friends, I'm always good-hearted and a little on the ditsy side. When I'm with Giles, I always in training mode. With my Mom, I make sure I have a little shade of immaturity and brattiness. With you, I'm not so hyper." They both chuckled at her statement.

When the laughter died down, Buffy softly admitted, "And when I'm with him, I'm whatever he wants to see. In many ways I become free. I'm not just a Slayer, or a friend, or a daughter. I'm just a girl. A girl that he once loved as Angel and one that now he keeps by his side as Angelus."

Setting the book on a round table, Father Marion beckoned Buffy over to him. He waited until she sat down before continuing. "Angelus makes all your decisions and leaves you with nothing to control, so you're free. Am I correct?"

She nodded her head and murmured, "Yes." _Put in that way it sounds logical, but…_

"But you're only free within his cage, Buffy. That will never lead you to your true self."

A flush flared across her cheeks. Glancing down at her hands Buffy softly asked, "Can we please stop talking about this?"

Father Marion touched her shoulder briefly and then replied, "Of course." Clearing his throat he cheerfully said, "Well, let's continue from last week."

Nodding her head, Buffy wished in that moment that he had never found out about Angelus.

" _ **I can't see you until later tonight."**_

 _Despite the slight static coming through via the cell phone, Buffy could hear Angelus' reply was laced with impatience._

" _ **Why not?"**_

" _ **Because I have stuff I have to take care of."**_

" _ **Like what?"**_

" _ **Stuff, Angelus."**_

" _ **Answer me clearly, Buff. Now."**_

" _ **Slayer stuff."**_ _Buffy had to go to the church for a couple of hours to discuss a new text Giles had come across. However, for some unknown reason that she couldn't explain, she really didn't want Angelus to know the details._

" _ **No."**_

" _ **Excuse me?"**_

" _ **Your hearing is perfect, lover. I said no."**_

 _Buffy let out a little sigh of frustration._ _ **"This isn't something I can back out of."**_

" _ **Tell them you've got cramps."**_

" _ **Angelus!"**_

" _ **What? It's almost the truth. You're on your period."**_

" _ **I can't believe you said that."**_

" _ **Why not?"**_

" _ **Because…it's DISGUSTING!"**_

" _ **Why? Because you're bloody?"**_

" _ **Euw!"**_

" _ **Oh, come on, Buff. Stop with the sound effects. Besides, you didn't think it was disgusting when I ate you out."**_

" _ **Oh! Stop talking now!"**_

 _His amused chuckle echoed across the line and made Buffy's flush turn crimson with embarrassment._ _ **"Lover,"**_ _he murmured softly._ _ **"I want you to come here early tonight. Daylight savings time is creeping up and it's getting darker later and later. I'm getting…lonely."**_

 _She shuddered with longing._ _ **"Mmm…you're really tempting me."**_ _Buffy released a regretful sigh._ _ **"But I've got responsibilities."**_

 _The seductive tone disappeared to be replaced by unyielding arrogance._

" _ **Your responsibility is to me."**_

" _ **It IS, but I can't duck out on this one. Giles will get upset."**_

" _ **So?"**_

" _ **Angelus, can you please try to be the grown-up that I know you are?"**_

" _ **Buff."**_ _The one word was drawn out and laced with warning._

" _ **Look, I gotta go."**_

" _ **I'm not done talking to you-"**_

" _ **Oh, you're breaking up."**_

" _ **You better not-"**_

" _ **I can't hear you, love. I'll see you afterwards, ok? I'm hanging up now."**_

" _ **Bitch-"**_

" _ **Love you! Bye!"**_ _Snapping the phone shut, she turned it onto vibrate. It began buzzing immediately. Gathering her jacket, she slipped the phone in her pocket and made her way downstairs._

 _She paused outside Joyce's closed office door and called out,_ _ **"Mom!"**_

 _Although muffled, her voice was clear._ _ **"What?"**_

" _ **I'm going to the mall."**_

" _ **Okay. Be back by 9:30."**_

" _ **Alright. See you later." 'Guess Mom is busy doing artifact inventory postings.'**_ _Making her way outside Buffy felt the phone still vibrating in her pocket._ _ **'He's going to kill me when I do this.'**_ _She reached in and turned off the cell phone._

 _Soon she was strolling down the streets towards the church. The night air was rather balmy and fragrant with early blooms. It was such a beautiful night that Buffy couldn't help but feel happy and a tad bit carefree, even though she just hung up on her vampire lover and was going to meet a Watcher and a priest._

 _Giles was going to be waiting inside the church. Accompanying him would be a valuable book detailing the succubus' origin._ _ **'It's definitely going to give me the wiggins to discuss supernatural sexual deeds with Giles and Father Marion. Ah, the joys of being a Slayer.'**_

" _ **Lover, I should beat your ass with my belt until you turn black and blue."**_ _Before Buffy could say anything, Angelus had a hold of her small hand and was leading her into an alley a block away from her destination._

 _Glancing around to make sure no one saw them, Buffy complained,_ _ **"Angelus, I told you later tonight-"**_

" _ **And I told you not to hang up. I did not buy this just so you could ignore me when I call."**_ _Digging into her pocket he deftly pulled out the cell phone._ _ **"Well, what do we have here?"**_ _He peered at it closely and murmured,_ _ **"Would you look at that? It's turned off! You wouldn't have anything to do with that, would you?"**_

 _She gazed up at him with soft, vulnerable eyes._

" _ **Yes, Angelus. I'm sorry."**_

" _ **Don't try to give me that look, Baby,"**_ _he snorted._ _ **"It only worked one time. It's not happening again."**_

 _She looked out of the alley towards the street when she felt his hand gently turn her head back._ _ **"Focus, lover."**_

" _ **Someone might see us!"**_

 _Angelus ignored her exclamation._

" _ **Where are you going?"**_

" _ **I'm going to see Giles."**_

" _ **Where?"**_

" _ **What?"**_

" _ **You heard me,"**_ _he snapped._ _ **"This isn't the way to school."**_ _However, he drew out his next question with severe patience._ _ **"Where. Are. You. Going. To. Meet. Him?"**_

 _Buffy stared up at the beautiful vampire looming over her and asked in a hurt voice,_ _ **"Don't you trust me?"**_

 _Smoothing back a lock of golden hair, he smiled cruelly._

" _ **You're trying to hide something from me. So no, I don't."**_

 _It was true. Buffy didn't understand why, but for some reason she didn't want him to know about her visits with Father Marion._ _ **'Why don't I just tell him?'**_

" _ **Angelus…I…"**_

" _ **Kiss me."**_

' _ **Oh, good.'**_ _Buffy rose up on her toes and immediately complied. She moaned loudly when his cool tongue flicked across her lips._ _ **"Oh, lover…"**_ _she sighed as she wrapped her arms around his neck. The mighty Slayer could feel her legs become quivering lumps of flesh as the Master vampire growled his pleasure._

" _ **I want you. Right here."**_

 _Nibbling on his strong jaw line, Buffy murmured,_ _ **"Someone might see us."**_

" _ **No, they won't."**_ _He lifted her up and secured her within his hold._ _ **"When anyone looks in here, all they'll see is an empty alley. All they'll hear is a couple of cats howling."**_ _Gracing her with a wicked look, he whispered,_ _ **"One more than the other."**_

" _ **Are you really that powerful?"**_ _She felt a tremor of anticipation as Angelus shoved up her skirt._

 _Kneading the firm flesh of her bottom, he replied,_ _ **"Do you really need to ask?"**_ _He ran a finger along her center and nodded in satisfaction._ _ **"Good. You remembered this time."**_

 _Buffy felt her face flush from memory._

" _ **You approve?"**_

" _ **You know I do. Satin or silk underwear, lover. No cotton."**_ _Lightly kissing her neck he murmured,_ _ **"It seems that punishments DO work on you."**_

 _Tilting her head back she sighed,_ _ **"I guess they do, but I still think they're mean."**_

 _His dark laughter floated about the alley._ _ **"They may be mean, but you're turning out quite nicely, lover."**_ _Her small hands undid his zipper before releasing his hardened flesh._ _ **"Hmm, quite nicely indeed."**_

 _Without further words, Angelus slowly thrust into Buffy's welcoming flesh._

 _Her fears of the world inadvertently catching a glimpse of hedonism slipped away as she succumbed to the familiar deliciousness of mating with her vampire. She dug her fingers into his sides while her panting mouth latched onto his neck. Angelus' growl of approval fueled Buffy's lust and she began rocking her hips harder and faster._

 _Taking cue from his human lover's carnal reactions, Angelus drove deeper into her core._

" _ **Tell me how much you want me, Buffy."**_

" _ **Oh…lover…I want you…always…you…only you."**_ _Inspired by her words, the beginnings of orgasm quickly pulsed throughout her body. Soon she let out a muffled cry and bit down on his neck._

 _Her actions sent Angelus' orgasm over the edge. Crushing her within his hold, Angelus drove into Buffy one last time before howling his release. Several minutes passed in panting silence while both lovers came down from the addictive high._

 _Buffy gave him a tired smile as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders._

" _ **I love you."**_

 _Angelus' response was silence, but he buried his face in her neck._

" _ **Buffy? Is that you?"**_

 _Falling away from her lover in shock, Buffy quickly pulled down her skirt and attempted to shield him with her body._

" _ **Father Marion!"**_

 _He came forward, walking around the refuse littering the ground. Looking at her situation through his eyes, Buffy experienced a gut-wrenching stab of shame._ _ **'I was fucking Angelus in the dark, against a wall, in the middle of all this garbage. And I didn't care until now.'**_

" _ **Buffy, that's Angelus with you."**_ _The gentleness in his gaze was replaced by innocent confusion._ _ **"I don't understand…"**_

 _Before she could attempt to explain the unexplainable, Angelus began growling. Without turning around she knew he had morphed into his vampiric visage._

" _ **Who the fuck are you, padre? And how do you know my woman?"**_

" _ **Your woman?"**_

" _ **You heard me, Priest."**_ _The last word was said as the vilest curse._ _ **"How do you even know her name?"**_

 _Instead of answering, he took a few steps forward only to stop when Angelus growled,_ _ **"Take another step and I gut you where you stand."**_

" _ **Angelus! Don't say that!"**_

 _Father Marion wisely stood in place._ _ **"Buffy, I was on my way to meet Giles, when…"**_ _His words trailed off as the need for explanation was painfully unneeded._

 _She took a step forward only to be brought short by Angelus' hand. Keeping his hard gaze trained on the priest he bit out,_ _ **"This is what you were keeping from me?"**_

" _ **Angelus…"**_

" _ **Answer me."**_ _His low, controlled voice disappeared in an explosion of fury._ _ **"NOW!"**_

 _Ducking from the rage flaring in his smooth voice, she whispered,_ _ **"Yes."**_

" _ **Well, isn't that fucking lovely?"**_ _Tightening his grip on her shoulder he viciously asked,_ _ **"How long have you been seeing him?"**_

 _After hearing his question Buffy feared Angelus was thinking the worst of her._ _ **"It's not like that-"**_

" _ **I know it's not. If it was, you'd both be dead now."**_ _Without sparing Father Marion another glance he looked down and asked,_ _ **"How long have you been hiding this from me?"**_

" _ **I wasn't trying to hide-"**_

" _ **Shut your mouth before you get it worse. If you are even capable of speaking the truth right now, I want you to FUCKING tell me!"**_

 _Mortified beyond words Buffy mumbled,_ _ **"About a month."**_

" _ **A month? You've been going to see this Christ-fucker for about a MONTH?"**_ _Angelus shoved Buffy towards the waiting priest and sneered,_ _ **"Later, Slayer. What we have to discuss is best suited without an audience."**_ _Strolling out of the alley he disappeared, leaving behind a visibly shaken 17-year-old girl._

 _Buffy felt Father Marion's hand tentatively touch her arm._

" _ **Come on, Buffy. We should go before Giles becomes worried."**_

 _Hastily wiping away her tears she looked up at him. It took tremendous courage to say the next words in an even tone._

" _ **I might not deserve this, but I would appreciate it if you let me tell him first."**_

" _ **Tell him what?"**_

 _Buffy held out her hand in equal parts frustration and supplication_ _ **"Please…don't…DO this. You know what I'm talking about."**_

 _Father Marion calmly did his best to soothe the upset girl before him._ _ **"I'm not going to say anything to Giles, Buffy."**_

" _ **Why not?"**_ _she asked warily, ignoring the selfish spurt of relief._

" _ **Because it's not my place."**_ _Reading the question in her eyes, the priest explained,_ _ **"I'm in the business of keeping secrets, not telling them. It's a delicate balance, but one that I've had many years of experience doing."**_

" _ **You understand that I've been keeping this secret from everyone, don't you?"**_

" _ **I'm starting to understand that."**_

" _ **And you're still willing to keep it quiet, even though it goes against everything we stand for?"**_

 _Father Marion stood quietly by her side for a moment before answering._ _ **"I cannot judge you for your choices, Buffy. I know that for whatever reason this occurred, you believed it was right."**_

 _She let out a despondent laugh._ _ **"And you think this all without asking any questions?"**_

" _ **Yes, I do,"**_ _he answered immediately._ _ **"Although I do have many questions to ask concerning this situation, the most important one I need to know is this: are you safe with him?"**_

" _ **Am I safe?"**_ _Glancing away she tightly answered,_ _ **"As safe as I've always been."**_

" _ **I see."**_ _Holding out his arm he suggested,_ _ **"Shall we go?"**_

 _Buffy nodded briefly and walked out the alley. They walked in silence for a minute before Father Marion hesitantly asked,_ _ **"Can I ask you one question?"**_

 _Staring straight ahead she nodded._

" _ **I heard you tell him you loved him. Is that true?"**_

 _She clenched her jaw once and then answered,_ _ **"Yes."**_

 _The rest of the walk elapsed into silence until they reached the church._ _ **"Buffy-you don't need to suffer this alone. You can talk to me if the pressure gets to be too much. I'm here to listen-not judge."**_

 _ **"Thank you."**_ _Walking up the stone steps she grimly wondered just how tangled her life had now become._

True to his word, Father Marion didn't tell Giles anything. If the Watcher thought his Slayer to be a bit more quiet than normal, he had chalked it up to maidenly embarrassment because of the subject's frank carnality.

She was quiet because she had been horribly humiliated and not just because of what Father Marion had seen in the alley. It was also because of what he had seen afterwards.

" _ **Umm…Buffy?"**_

 _Pausing in the church foyer she somberly answered,_ _ **"Yes?"**_

 _The priests cheeks flushed pink as he looked away and murmured,_ _ **"You, ah, probably need to go to the, ah, restroom."**_

" _ **Why?"**_

" _ **There's, ah, blood…umm…on your thighs."**_

" _ **What?"**_ _Quickly looking down she nearly began crying from the mortification. Sex with Angelus had apparently smeared a noticeable amount of blood all over her inner thighs. Which meant she had walked all the way from the alley to the church like that._

" _ **Oh! I…umm…I'll be back in a minute."**_

 _Running into the bathroom she made quick work of cleaning herself. As she dropped the bloodied tissue into the toilet, Buffy could feel several tears roll down her cheeks. The need to cry was so overpowering but she couldn't give in._

' _ **Not here.'**_

 _So with a quick sniffle she left the stall, washed her hands, and forced her face into a smooth mask of counterfeit normalcy._

Remembering that night still made Buffy want to cry. But just as then she couldn't give into her tears, neither could she do it now.

"I get it now. The Regnatix scale was designed as a curse in the form of gift, right? Whoever finds it will be granted their heart's desire, but in return they'll have to pay with what's most dearest to them."

"You've got it, Buffy."

"Well, that's crappy."

"Colorful choice of words, but I agree-most crappy."

Resting her chin on her hands, she wondered, "Where's the scale now?"

Father Marion glanced up from his book and answered, "In the vaults of a government agency."

His reply surprised her. Buffy's back straightened up as she asked, "Really? So, it's not with the Watcher's Council?"

"No. Much to their displeasure I might add." Sliding the book across the table, the priest said, "Here, look at this passage and tell me what you think."

The rest of the afternoon passed by in a blur until Buffy's head fairly ached. At the pace she was going she would soon become a demonology expert. Their session finally came to a close-just in time to meet Giles for training.

Bidding her warm farewell to Father Marion, Buffy briskly made her way to the library, but not before checking her hidden cell phone. _No calls._ She slipped it back into her bag and glumly wondered at how she had managed to muddle through the mess she called her life.

 _Sitting with legs crossed on the couch, Buffy felt edgy. While Angelus had barely spoken two words to her, he had made it clear that she was not to leave. She sighed and continued to flip through the channels, hoping to find something that would keep her attention from the vampire who was feverishly poring over his numerous books._

" _ **Buff, come here."**_

 _She set the remote down and eagerly obeyed._ _ **'Finally!'**_ _The stone floor felt cold beneath her feet, making her wish she at least had a pair of socks to wear. Buffy stopped right beside his chair and quietly waited._

 _Angelus looked up and impatiently brushed her hair off her neck. He peered at the skin closely before making a sound of disgust._ _ **"Turn around,"**_ _he barked, barely waiting for her to move before spinning her around himself._

 _Buffy could feel his fingers quickly probing the skin around her shoulders, as if he were looking for something. While the feel of his hands on her body stirred the familiar and welcome sensation of desire, apparently it didn't for him._

" _ **Alright, you can go."**_

 _Nodding her head, she despondently walked back to the couch and sat down in a huff._ _ **'What's the point of being naked if he's not going to even play?'**_ _An assessing light brightened her eyes, turning them into hazel pools of mischief._

" _ **Angelus?"**_

 _He didn't even lift his head._

" _ **Hmm?"**_

 _She made her voice girlish and soft._

" _ **I'm cold. See? My nipples are completely hard because it's so cold."**_

" _ **Mmm…"**_

 _The seconds passed as Buffy sat there-completely ignored._

" _ **Angelus!"**_

" _ **What?"**_ _he replied, a mere hint of irritation curling about the edge of his low voice._

" _ **I'm cold."**_

 _Without glancing up from his book he suggested,_ _ **"Then go put some clothes on. I don't even know why you're naked when you always whine about how cold it is here."**_

 _She frowned in annoyance as she shot back with,_ _ **"Because you told me to always get naked when I come here!"**_

" _ **Mmm…"**_

 _Tired of being ignored, Buffy bounded off the couch and stalked over to the table. Taking the book out from under his nose, she closed it with a neat flick of her wrist. Her actions directed the desired response in him._

 _Slamming his hands on the table, he roared,_ _ **"Bitch, what the hell do you think you're doing?!"**_

 _Buffy rested her fists on her hips and complained,_ _ **"All you've been doing all night is going through these books! I'm here-naked-and you've barely looked at me!"**_

" _ **Well, I'm looking at you now and you want to know what I see?"**_ _Without giving her a chance to answer he growled,_ _ **"A spoiled, immature, rude, little BRAT!"**_

" _ **Maybe, but I'm a NAKED brat,"**_ _she shot back while hopping on the table. Buffy crossed her arms and made it clear without words that she had no intention of leaving until she got what she wanted._

 _Angelus, however, had other plans._

 _He plucked her from the table and set her on her feet._ _ **"Lover,"**_ _he sighed impatiently,_ _ **"life isn't just about sex. There are other things that can take importance over the flesh."**_

" _ **Like what?"**_

" _ **Like why the fuck was your priest able to see us? Man of God or not, he shouldn't have been able to look past my illusion."**_ _Grabbing the discarded text, he sat down and continued to read._

 _A minute passed while Buffy stood there-steaming in feminine pique._ _ **"I can't believe this. I really can't,"**_ _she muttered in disgust._

 _Without looking up, Angelus answered,_ _ **"Alright, Baby. You win."**_

" _ **I do?"**_

" _ **Yes."**_ _He waved a negligent hand in the air and suggested,_ _ **"Go crawl to the elevator and back."**_

' _ **Of all the arrogant…patronizing…butt-head things to say! He's giving me something to do like I'm a child. He might as well tell me to go play with my dolls!'**_ _Spinning around on her heel, Buffy stormed out of the library. She stomped over to her clothes in the living area and angrily jerked them on. Once dressed, she waited for a few minutes just to see if Angelus was going to come out._ _ **'I know he can hear me in here putting on my clothes.'**_

 _Nothing._

" _ **I'm going home!"**_

" _ **Walk home safely,"**_ _he replied in cheerful yet distracted voice._

 _Narrowing her eyes in frustration she yelled,_ _ **"FINE!"**_ _and made her way home to end a most disagreeable night._

Buffy looked up and saw the high school looming up ahead of her. Whatever it was he had been looking for that night, he hadn't been able to find. After that, Angelus started becoming unstable.

Many times he kept her close-to the point of suffocation.

" _ **Where were you?"**_

" _ **I was out slaying."**_ _Shedding her dusty clothes, she let out a tired yawn._

" _ **Why do I smell blood on you?"**_

 _Buffy looked up and saw his eyes were cold and hard._ _ **'I can't read his mood.' "Because it's mine?"**_

" _ **Don't give me any of your smart-mouth attitude, Buff,"**_ _he snapped._

 _Kicking off her shoes, she wiggled her toes in relief. The silence stretched until it became alive with his foul disposition. She glanced at his set face and inwardly sighed._ _ **'He's pissed.' "I'm sorry, Master." 'That should appease him, although it still feels a little cheesy to call him that.'**_

 _His shoulders relaxed and the angry edge in his eyes seemed to dissolve. An amiable smile appeared on his mouth as he beckoned her closer._ _ **"Let me see you, lover."**_

 _Approaching him, Buffy moaned in pleasure when his hands began massaging her weary shoulders._ _ **"Oh, that feels good."**_

 _Angelus kissed her cheek and murmured,_ _ **"Tough night, lover?"**_

" _ **Mmm…yes."**_ _Her head dropped forward, allowing his clever fingers better access._ _ **"They used swords tonight. One almost took my head off."**_

 _He immediately stopped his soothing action. Carefully turning her around, Angelus demanded,_ _ **"Explain."**_

 _It took a great deal of resolve not to shrink back from the merciless rage in his black gaze._

" _ **I staked them."**_

" _ **That's not what I asked."**_

" _ **What difference does it make? In the end, I staked them."**_

" _ **Bull. How did your head,"**_ _he paused to pull back her black collar,_ _ **"almost leave your body?"**_ _He scraped a finger across the blood-encrusted skin and held it up, showing the black flecks marring his pale flesh._

 _The reason was so simple and yet so embarrassing to admit._ _ **'He won't give up until I tell him. Damn.'**_ _So she rushed out,_ _ **"Itrippedovermyshoelace."**_

 _A moment of silence elapsed before Angelus yelled,_ _ **"You tripped over your shoelace!"**_

" _ **Yes,"**_ _she growled, as her cheeks grew flushed._

" _ **Jesus, Buffy! A shoelace? You almost died because of a fucking shoelace?"**_

" _ **You're making it sound worse than it is. I staked them within ten seconds after that. Night over, Slayer triumphant."**_

 _He was unsatisfied with her simplifying the matter. Crossing his arms he stated,_ _ **"That's it. You're not patrolling alone, anymore."**_

 _Buffy cocked her head to the side and asked,_ _ **"What do you mean?"**_

" _ **I mean that I'm going to be there."**_

" _ **How? I mean, what if someone sees you?"**_

" _ **They won't and either way, I don't give a shit. I can't trust that you won't make a mistake again."**_

 _She bristled in irritation and pulled away._ _ **"I've been doing fine on my own, Angelus. I don't need anyone babysitting me."**_ _Wrapping his arms around her tiny frame, Angelus soothed her ruffled feathers and murmured,_ _ **"Indulge me, Baby. I won't interfere unless I have to."**_

" _ **Angelus…"**_

" _ **Shhh, lover. Let me keep you close."**_

 _Hearing the smooth tenderness in his voice, Buffy gave in._ _ **"Okay."**_ _Wrapping her arms around his waist, she sighed,_ _ **"I feel really gross. Do you mind if I take a shower first?"**_ _He shook his head and answered,_ _ **"Here, let's get you washed up and tucked in bed."**_

 _ **"Tucked in bed? But what about...you know?"**_

 _ **"You're tired and I'm not a total beast. I can control myself."**_

 _ **"But I like it when you're a beast."**_

 _ **"Hmph. I'll keep that in mind. Now c'mon Baby-let's get these clothes off."**_

Other times, he pushed her away without remorse.

" _ **Why are you here again?"**_ _Angelus snapped as he stormed into the foyer._

" _ **Because you called me!"**_

 _His eyes betrayed confusion for a split-second before it was covered up by his usual arrogance._

" _ **Well, I changed my mind. Go home."**_

 _Buffy's hurt feelings began to spark with rage._ _ **"I'm not some escort you can call up and dismiss whenever it pleases you, Angelus!"**_

 _His retort was cruel and calculated._

" _ **You're right, Buff. You're not an escort-you're my whore. And like an escort you have to listen to what I tell you to do. So if I tell you to go home, you go."**_

 _Buffy gasped in hurt shock. Although she hated it, she could feel tears well in her eyes._

 _Angelus saw them and instead of smirking with sadistic pleasure, he scowled and complained,_ _ **"Oh, no! Are you going to cry again?"**_ _Turning on his heel he yelled over his shoulder,_ _ **"Just go home…baby!"**_

Buffy nodded to a few straggling students as she sprinted up the stone steps. Walking down the empty halls, she thought about training, Giles, and Angelus.

Always Angelus.

With easy confidence she approached the library doors and gave another thought to what had happened after she left that night. The next time she saw him, it was in one of her usual cemetery haunts. Angelus had acted as if nothing was wrong and dismissed her icy reception as job-related stress.

" _ **Want me to rip out its heart for you, lover?"**_

 _Dodging a deadly axe, Buffy managed to narrow her eyes and grit out,_ _ **"No, thanks."**_

 _Calmly sitting on a headstone, Angelus watched her battle the Forentric demon. Although slimy and possessing eight meaty arms, it was surprisingly agile. However, the Master vampire appeared confident that his mistress would dispatch it quickly._

 _Albeit, with a few pointers from himself._

" _ **You're not even close to using your new strength. You're still fighting like the old Slayer. You're stronger than this."**_

 _Nimbly jumping into the air, Buffy delivered a kick to the demon's back and sent it flying forward at an incredible speed._ _ **"I think I can handle this without your commentary,"**_ _she replied in a tight voice as she grabbed the fallen axe off the ground._

" _ **Buff, what's with the attitude?"**_

 _She swung the axe over her head and quickly decapitated the Forentric. Its body immediately dissolved into a puddle of bubbling lavender slime. Using the axe's long handle as support, Buffy leaned against it and impatiently blew a stray strand of blonde hair off her face._

" _ **You tell me."**_

 _Elegantly folding his hands in his lap, Angelus cocked his head and replied,_ _ **"PMS?"**_

 _She closed her eyes and slowly counted to ten._ _ **"Do the words 'whore' and 'go home' mean anything to you?"**_ _she asked in a frigid voice._

" _ **Hmm. Not really."**_ _He slid off the headstone and approached his seething lover._ _ **"You done for the night?"**_

 _Buffy shot him a look of disbelief._

" _ **Have you lost your damned mind?"**_

" _ **That's not a very nice thing to say, Baby."**_ _Taking her by the shoulders, Angelus began musing,_ _ **"You're probably hungry and that's why you're so crabby. Do you want Chinese, burgers, or doughnuts? Or maybe all three? You know how I love to watch you eat…"**_

 _Walking alongside him, she shook her head and wondered why she was allowing him to charm her out of warranted anger._

"Hello, Buffy! How did your session with Father Marion go?"

She dropped her bag on the table and answered, "Pretty good. Like always." Turning her attention to Jenny, Buffy murmured, "Hi, Ms. Calendar."

The gypsy smiled and replied warmly, "Hello, Buffy. We haven't had a chance to talk lately."

"No, we haven't." Although the Slayer had been able to move past the debilitating rage and betrayal that had originally paralyzed her relationship with Jenny, she still hadn't been able to recapture the trust of before. _Which probably has more to do with Angelus than her._ "But Giles and Father Marion have been keeping me pretty busy lately."

"That's true." Jenny picked up her files and nodded to both Slayer and Watcher. "Well, I'll get out of your hair and let you do your thing."

"See ya!" Buffy murmured pleasantly.

Giles glanced over his shoulder at his charge before walking over to Jenny. In a low voice he stammered, "Yes, umm…I'll…umm…call you tonight."

She grinned at his boyish embarrassment and lightly touched his arm. "I'll be waiting, Rupert. Don't chicken out on me." Jenny gracefully turned away and walked out the door.

Feeling his Slayer's amused gaze on him, Giles felt mildly flustered. He cleared his throat and stated, "Well, now."

"Well," Buffy mimicked.

"Ah, you should, umm…suit up."

"Yep."

"Alright then."

"Alright." But instead of leaving, Buffy stayed in place, with a knowing smile on her lips.

Realizing she had no intention of leaving until she shared at least one comment, Giles took on the air of a martyr and waved his hand. "Very well, Buffy. I'm waiting."

"What?"

"You're not fooling me with that mischievous expression, girl," the Watcher announced sourly. "Out with it!"

"Alright." Picking up her bag she sang, "Giles has a girlfriend! Giles has a girlfriend!" The expression of mortification on his staid face was comical. Dashing out of the room before he could begin to stutter in offended outrage, Buffy laughed softly to herself.

 _He deserves to have someone to share his life with. Especially considering how much of it he's had to sacrifice-not just for me but for everyone else._

Arriving at the girls' bathroom, she quickly began stripping off her clothes. Although the weather was turning warmer, Buffy had been forced to wear a long skirt because of Angelus' whims the night before.

" _ **The chains are too long!"**_

" _ **Why do you say that?"**_ _he asked as he casually lay against the headboard._

" _ **Because it's hanging halfway down my thigh."**_

 _The vampire barely gave his mistress a glance before he smoothly answered,_ _ **"I like it like that."**_

 _Buffy stomped her foot like a child and cried,_ _ **"Angelus!"**_

 _He arched a dark brow in warning._

" _ **Be a good girl and quit whining."**_

 _She ignored his subtle advice and huffed instead,_ _ **"But I'll have to wear jeans or a long skirt tomorrow."**_

" _ **So?"**_

" _ **The weather's going to be warm tomorrow. I wanted to wear my new skirt in celebration."**_

" _ **The one that nearly shows all of your ass?"**_

 _She replied,_ _ **"It doesn't,"**_ _as she shoved her head through her shirt's collar._

" _ **Hmm. I don't like it. Get rid of it."**_

 _Buffy paused in the middle of slipping on her pants._

" _ **What?"**_

" _ **Burn it, give it away, or throw it away. I don't care what you do, just don't wear it."**_

" _ **But you bought it for me!"**_

" _ **Then I'll buy you something else."**_ _Closing his eyes, Angelus ordered,_ _ **"Now hurry up before Joyce wakes up and discovers you gone."**_

The beautiful chains sparkled in the half-light, silently reminding her how generous Angelus could be.

And yet…

 _Things have changed and not for the better. I don't know where I stand with him. Anything can make him smile. Anything can make him lash out. Anything can me him treat me like an object-one to be held or broken._

She somberly dressed herself as she thought how ever since Father Marion had walked in on them, Angelus' rages would flare up for no apparent reason and his cruelty was never sharper. It was during these times that Buffy could do nothing right.

" _ **No, goddamnit! Do it perfect this time!"**_ _Re-buttoning his pants, Angelus coldly waited for her to begin her task. Again._

 _Fighting back her tears of frustration and dismay, Buffy arched her body as high as it could go from her kneeling position, and started to unbutton his leather pants with her teeth._

 _It was difficult to keep from slipping off the metal buttons, yet she was determined not to fail._ _ **'I have to make him happy. Whatever it takes-I have to make him happy.'**_

" _ **Stop frowning! You look like you're tasting dirt. Is that how you feel?"**_

 _Before she could answer, Angelus pushed her away in disgust._

" _ **You're wasting my time, Bitch."**_

 _Shamed beyond words, she held out her hands in supplication._ _ **"I'm sorry! Please!"**_

 _He began pacing in agitation._ _ **"Please? Please? What about pleasing me? I thought I was important to you, Buff."**_

" _ **You are!"**_

 _Coldly staring down his aristocratic nose, he hissed,_ _ **"Obviously not! You insult me with your sloppiness!"**_

" _ **I'm trying hard-"**_ _Buffy's explanation was cut short by a heartless slap across the face._

 _Ignoring the stricken expression in her hazel eyes, Angelus stormed away. He quickly returned with a plain, black collar and length of chain._

" _ **W-What's that for?"**_ _When she received no reply, Buffy jumped up to her feet and ran. Within seconds she felt a sharp sting in her scalp._ _ **"Ah!"**_

 _Jerking her back by her hair, Angelus immediately fastened the collar about her neck along with the chain._ _ **"Stop fighting me before I muzzle you as well!"**_ _he growled in her ear._

 _Buffy went limp and tears began flowing down her face in earnest._

 _He pulled her forward and pointed to an enormous painting hanging over the fireplace._ _ **"I took down Aimee and put you up instead. Do you know why?"**_

" _ **Why?"**_ _she whispered pitifully, hating the knowledge of knowing that all the portraits on the wall were of past lovers-some of which had died by his hand._

" _ **Because I thought you could surpass that pretty ballerina! I believed you were more accomplished, more worthy than that faithless creature. I see that I was severely mistaken."**_

" _ **Angelus…"**_

" _ **Shut-up!"**_ _Gripping her chin, he forced Buffy to look up at the oil rendition of herself._ _ **"That is what I want!"**_ _he growled._ _ **"Not this pitiful excuse of obedience you've displayed tonight, but THAT! In the span of one day you gave me everything you had. You pushed yourself beyond limit to please me. THAT is worthy of eternal adoration, not THIS."**_

 _Dropping her eyes in humiliation, she whimpered,_ _ **"I'm sorry. I'll do better. I promise."**_

" _ **Get down on all fours, Bitch."**_

 _She obeyed him miserably and desperately tried to find away to ease his fury. Bending down, she ran her lips over his booted feet._ _ **'I don't want him angry like this. I want to make him smile. I'll do anything to make him smile.'**_

 _Buffy thought she had succeeded when Angelus crouched down and gently brushed a finger across her trembling lips. However, his softly spoken words declared otherwise._

" _ **Not good enough, Buff."**_

 _Holding the chain in his hand he stood up and started walking towards his bedroom._ _ **"You know, lover,"**_ _he began conversationally,_ _ **"I've been beyond patient with you. However, tonight my patience is at its end."**_ _Stopping in front of the double doors, he commanded,_ _ **"Open them."**_

 _Buffy immediately obeyed, hoping to appease him with her actions._

 _Angelus walked through with her in tow._ _ **"You've been spoiled, disobedient, and bad. As punishment you will not be allowed to sleep in the bed."**_

 _The realization of what he intended to do sliced Buffy to the core._ _ **"No,"**_ _she whispered in plaintive distress as she drew to a stop._

" _ **And here is yet another example of what a poor consort you're turning into."**_ _He flicked the chain in his hand against her back and drew a surprised cry._ _ **"Keep moving!"**_

 _She sat there frozen as tears flowed down her pale face._ _ **'I'm not an animal. I'm not.'**_

" _ **Buffy…it seems that you've forgotten who I am. You've forgotten that I'm not your precious Angel. I'm not making a request."**_

 _The menace in his cruel voice made her shiver._ _ **'He's so angry with me right now. Why didn't I just do it right the first time? Why?!'**_ _With a suppressed sob, she began crawling forward._

" _ **The floor will be cold but I'm sure it's nothing you can't handle."**_ _He secured the chain to the bed's post with efficient motions. Looking at her bowed head, Angelus murmured,_ _ **"I know you can get free anytime you want, lover. I welcome you to prove how utterly worthless you really are."**_

 _With those parting words, he shed his pants and slipped beneath the luxurious sheets._

 _As the minutes melted into one another, Buffy had never felt so miserable and broken._ _ **'He's right. I am worthless. I'm stupid and worthless as a woman and a Slayer. I let him abuse me and I won't stop. I don't know how.'**_

 _Dissolving into anguished tears, Buffy cried until she finally slipped into an emotionally exhaustive sleep._

 _Hours later she woke to the feeling of a cool mouth delicately licking her breast._

" _ **My poor, beautiful bitch. I've made her cry. Let me make it better…please?"**_

 _Clinging to him without shame, Buffy sobbed in relief and supplication._

" _ **Bitch."**_

 _The word became a caress as he licked a trail from her collared neck to her mouth._

" _ **Bitch."**_

 _She kissed his lips with all the aching and longing within her soul._

" _ **You're my bitch."**_

" _ **Yes."**_

 _As he had taken her roughly on the cold marble floor, he had whispered one phrase over and over again:_ _ **"My bitch."**_

Walking back to Giles, Buffy wondered why everything was becoming so ugly. Mouthing appropriate words of enthusiasm over weapons training, she wondered how soon was hell going to overtake everything in her life. _When will I break? When will it all become too much?_

But most of all she wondered if there would ever be a way to erase the stain in Angelus' heart. A stain that bore one word: distrust.

"Are you ready, Buffy?"

"Whenever you are." Assuming a defensive stance, the Slayer held out her sword and waited.

 _When will you realize that I would never leave you? When will you realize that I do these things that I don't want to, because I love you? When will that night come? When, Angelus? When?_


	31. Chapter 31

"Buffy…lift up your skirt."

Angelus watched as his deliciously docile mistress obeyed his command. He was being magnanimous enough to give her a break from studying, but as always, not without a price.

"Higher."

She was already flushed from laving his cock with her clever mouth, but her movements were steady and graceful.

"Mmm…that's lovely, Darling. Just lovely." Tracing the curve of her naked bottom with his crop, Angelus felt the ever-present lust inside awaken with a wicked stretch. _She's come so far in such a short amount of time-and all without breaking._

"Zip me up."

The disappointment in her hazel eyes did not hide from him and he laughed softly. He watched as her white teeth carefully clamped onto the small zipper. With a mere lift of her head Buffy accomplished her task flawlessly before taking hold of the buttonhole. Although more challenging, she had no problem in looping it over the button.

Angelus could feel a spurt of pride soften the hard lines of his mouth. _It would never do to show her how pleased she makes me. I can't spoil her._ He tapped her naked cheek sharply with the leather crop.

"Stand up, lover."

He could feel his dark spirit sing with maniacal triumph as Buffy rose up with eyes properly downcast, mouth open, and legs spread appropriately. _She belongs to me and she knows it._

"I'm going to give you a choice, Buff. Where do you want it?"

Her answer was immediate.

"Wherever it pleases you, Master."

 _Ah, these moments._ Angelus knew that Buffy initially felt uncomfortable with calling him master. "Lay down on the floor." He knew that she believed it to be silly and something that was often done tongue-in-cheek. "Take off your panties." In this day and age, it was usually said as the product of some horrible S &M porn. "Lift your hips." However, its psychological impact was the same as it was centuries ago.

Total enslavement.

The night was still and the mood expectant as he surveyed his human pet. Everything about her brought him pleasure and fulfillment. Angelus had yet to feel a moment of boredom with Buffy and it delighted almost as much as it frightened. _Frightened? No, I fear nothing. Especially not her._

He reached into his pocket and fingered the small bottle of lubrication. "It pleases me to have your ass," he whispered.

In response she drew her stocking-covered legs up and tilted her hips.

"Oh, that's lovely."

However, it wasn't his penis that he coated with lubrication, nor his fingers. Instead it was the handle of ubiquitous crop he held throughout every tutoring session that gently entered her body.

Studying every hint of emotion in her face, Angelus saw the disappointment again. He leaned down and teasingly joined his mouth to hers while his hand never stopped its thrusting movement.

"I adore you."

It was the closest to the words she wanted that she'd ever receive from him. Angelus played on her secret hope, knowing that she believed if she suffered all his whims perhaps one night he would admit that he loved her.

He'd see Buffy's body rotting in the ground first.

So, Angelus did not love her, but he did adore her. There was no lie there.

Her plaintive mewls of distress reached his ears, causing him to pull back.

"What's wrong, lover?"

She opened her eyes and rasped, "I want more…please."

He chuckled in masculine amusement.

"You ask nicely, I deliver." _What I want to deliver, anyway._

Feathering kisses along her neck and the swell of her young breasts, Angelus never stopped the sensual slide of his hand. The restless shifting of her legs brought devilish joy to his eyes as a smirk lifted up his lips.

Carefully and slowly he continued to rain small kisses across her midriff, only pausing to lift up her white babydoll shirt. He allowed his claws to lengthen and raked one finger across her flawless skin. The smell of her exquisite blood hit his senses as his eyes flashed in response.

Such an action would've created terror in a normal woman, but not in his Slayer. Instead, she moaned in abandoned pleasure.

 _I love this change in her. I love what I have wrought._

Moving down her body, Angelus licked the crimson trail away from the already closed wound. He nipped the taut flesh of her stomach before dipping his tongue into the small navel.

Slowly, carefully he made his way down her body until her bare, feminine treasure was right beneath his mouth. Although he had noticed it earlier in the evening, Angelus murmured, "You shaved. Why?" Looking up, he watched her pretty face in avid anticipation while his hand continued its decadent movements.

There it was. Uncertainty. Buffy was unsure if her actions had pleased him. _Good._

"Because I thought you would like it." A moment passed in silence before she softly asked, "You do like it, don't you?"

 _This is the way it should be. As long as we can do this forever, I'll never need anything else._ He frowned fiercely at those thoughts. Forever? Not for him.

 _Remember who you are and what she is,_ his demon side whispered angrily.

"Angelus?"

The sweet sound of her troubled voice broke through his uncertain rage, instantly soothing his vanity. Without responding to Buffy's question, Angelus lowered his dark head and ran his tongue across her bare mound. Resting his nose against her smooth nether lips, he deeply inhaled his mistress' essence, taking her scent into his body.

 _That's right. Give into your lust. It's far simpler this way,_ the evil within crowed in satisfaction. His demon seemed to be making more of an appearance than ever before. Violence swirled within him constantly, encouraging the bloodlust and rage to take control of his actions.

Angelus could constantly 'hear' this dark voice pointing out his flaws in regards to the girl beneath him.

" **Put the bitch in her place."**

" **Treat her like a whore."**

" **Kill her. Kill her. KILL HER!"**

Crouched over Buffy's pliant form he dragged his tongue over her quivering flesh before growling with hunger. Eagerly lapping at the sweetness flooding his mouth, Angelus refused to acknowledge the uneasiness making its stamp on his peace.

He shifted his other hand so that it could fill the feminine emptiness. Pursing his lips around her core of pleasure, Angelus closed his eyes and lost himself within Buffy's ecstasy.

He forced himself to forget the darkness threatening to consume him.

He forced himself to forget the helplessness he battled each time she left him.

Yet, he no matter how much he lost himself in her cries, he couldn't forget the nightmares.

Ones that had been plaguing him for months.

" _ **Safe. You're safe."**_

" _ **You came. They told me you wouldn't."**_

" _ **Safe."**_

" _ **I'm sorry that I believed them."**_

" _ **I can't risk you anymore."**_

" _ **Angelus?"**_

" _ **Close your eyes, my love."**_

They sickened him. They taunted him. They refused to let him enjoy the debaucheries to be had in life. They made a mockery of all his power, all his ambition…all his will.

"Ah, yes!"

Devoting himself to Buffy's pleasure, Angelus pressed his fingers deeper. He felt a thrill knowing he was completely responsible for the delicious pant in her throat. "That's right, Baby. Just like that," he mumbled against her warm, wet flesh. "Break apart for me."

"Ah…Angelus…umm…yes."

At first, his dreams would come once a week. Then they began staining his mind whenever he closed his wretched eyes. When he couldn't take the helplessness anymore, Angelus had forgone sleep, choosing to stay awake with manic need. As a result, he would spend weeks without respite and it would show.

" _ **Angelus, you look so pale. Are you hungry again?"**_ _Buffy's voice was sweet with concern as she ran her delicate fingers across his brow._

" _ **Baby, I'm dead-hence the paleness."**_ _Although his tone was dry and jovial, Angelus felt miserable on the inside. Even without the benefit of a reflection, he knew that he looked horrible. He could feel the hollows under his eyes and the lines of exhaustion bracketing his mouth._

 _And his mistress' blood could do nothing to ease it. No matter how many times she fed him._

" _ **Don't say that!"**_

 _Shaken from his troubled thoughts, he looked down and saw Buffy's stricken face._

" _ **What? That I'm dead?"**_

 _Climbing onto his lap, she fiercely replied,_ _ **"Yes. You're not dead. You're a vampire. There's a difference."**_

 _Angelus laughed softly and leaned his head back against the leather chair._ _ **"Ah, that's right,"**_ _he breathed._ _ **"One I'm just in the ground, the other I'm just a blood-sucker."**_

 _Without another word, Buffy lifted herself higher and pressed her neck against his mouth._

" _ **Stop saying things like that,"**_ _she muttered._ _ **"Here. You're still hungry. Feed."**_

" _ **I'm not hungry."**_ _He gently tried to push her back, but the Slayer would have none of it._

" _ **Feed!"**_

 _Angelus' sudden irritation caused him to snap,_ _ **"I'm not fucking hungry! Now quit treating me like a child."**_

 _Buffy drew back, an expression of sorrow flitting across her face, before she frowned in anger._ _ **"Maybe I'll stop treating you like a child when you stop acting like one."**_

" _ **Buff…"**_

" _ **You're pale and you look like shit."**_

 _He began growling in warning as his vanity was piqued._

" _ **If you're not hungry, what is it?"**_

" _ **Nothing, Bitch." 'There. Let her start crying.'**_

 _Instead Buffy leaned closer and stated,_ _ **"All you've done is just lay around here. You don't go out anymore, you just stay holed up in this house! Now what is going on? Are you depressed?"**_

 _Standing up he flung her off of him._ _ **"Depressed? Are you insane, woman? I'm not a damned girl. I don't get depressed."**_ _He looked down at his wrinkled dressing gown and muttered,_ _ **"I'm just tired. That's all."**_

" _ **Well, let's go to bed."**_

" _ **I said tired, Buffy,"**_ _Angelus explained in exasperation._ _ **"I didn't say I wanted sex."**_

 _Her cheeks flushed in rejection and embarrassment as she answered,_ _ **"I didn't say sex. I said bed. You're tired. Let's go to bed-as in sleep."**_ _She offered her hand and waited for him to take it._

 _He stared at her for a full minute, noting how she attempted not to fidget beneath his hooded gaze, before reluctantly taking her outstretched hand._

The truth was that while he may not have needed sleep like a human, he did need to the rest.

He didn't really need the unconsciousness that came with slumber. Just the rest.

At least that's what he told himself as he sat there in the darkness, waiting for her to come to him.

" _ **What took you so long? I told you to come straight here after training!"**_

 _Buffy wearily dropped her bag on the floor._ _ **"I did,"**_ _she replied in a tight voice._

 _Distantly, Angelus realized that she was beginning to sound like that more and more often._ _ **'Is she angry with me? Why? What did I do?'**_ _As the thought came to him, it scattered like decayed petals in the wind._

" _ **Then what's that in your hand?"**_

 _She let out a tiny sigh, one that did not go undetected._

 _He could feel a growl work its way up his throat as his teeth lengthened with the primal need for domination. Angelus saw the wariness in her pretty face before it disappeared with an easy smile._

 _In a pleasant voice she answered,_ _ **"Ice cream. I thought you'd like some."**_

 _He gracefully got up from his shrouded throne and stalked over to his mistress. Without a word he took the frozen treat in her hand and unceremoniously dropped it on the floor._

 _Buffy jerked back in shock before yelling,_ _ **"Why did you do that for?!"**_

 _Ignoring her question, Angelus gripped her slender arm tightly and quickly led her to the bedroom._ _ **"When I tell you to come straight here, I mean come STRAIGHT here."**_

 _She attempted to pull back from him, only to cause him to hurt her with his claws. The coppery tang of blood scented the air for a moment before he flung her facedown on the massive bed._

" _ **Angelus! Please…"**_

 _Straddling her body, he hissed,_ _ **"Be quiet!"**_

 _Immediately she became still._

 _Satisfied, he didn't bother to remove all of their clothing as he took her roughly on the bed. Thrusting into her tightness, he dismissed the smell of salt permeating the air about them._

 _The only thing Angelus could focus on was the soothing comfort he felt knowing she was right beneath him._

 _Only later as he heard her muffled sobs did he turn to her and whisper,_ _ **"We'll get some more ice cream tonight, alright?"**_

 _Curled in a ball away from him, Buffy brokenly replied,_ _ **"A-All I d-do is try t-to make you h-happy. Why isn't t-that enough?"**_

 _It was a perfect moment to gloat. However, Angelus had no answer, no barb, no bit of cruelty._

 _All he had was confusion._

' _ **Why isn't it enough? She loves me. ME. Unlike those other faithless bitches I've had over the centuries, she's different. So why do I continue to torment her? Why can't I fucking stop?''**_

The restless shifting of Buffy's hips beautifully told of her impending orgasm. Thrusting both hands faster, he skillfully continued the ministrations of his mouth. Within a minute she shattered for him.

Angelus lifted his head and greedily drank in the exquisite picture lying before him. Buffy's cheeks were flushed a perfect pink while her trembling mouth was tinted a deep rose color. Staring into her face he could see the gift of immortality transforming her features again.

It seemed to only happen when she filled to bursting with emotion. Usually for him.

Laying an open-mouthed kiss on her stomach, Angelus was inspired to whisper, "You're so beautiful, my darling girl. So infinitely beautiful." Without glancing up he could feel her joy and could taste her happiness.

At first, Buffy's enhanced features was just one of many mysteries consuming him and driving him to spend days poring over any text he could get his hands on. However, his work had finally paid off when he discovered that the key to this little enigma lay in the joining of immortal and blessed blood.

Buffy now walked a line between both and her humanity sometimes slipped.

Angelus removed the crop from her body and laid it next to her head. "Do you want to study some more?" he gently asked. He correctly read her hesitation and assured her with, "Tell me your truth-not what you think I want to hear."

 _It seems that all I live to do now is to make you miserable. At least I can sometimes make you smile._

And he did.

She reached up and began caressing the fine hair on the back of his neck. "I don't want to study," she whispered. Buffy's grip became firm as she yanked him down. "I want YOU."

Angelus chuckled in lusty glee. "I like your truth, Buff. It's fun."

Thrusting his tongue into her warm mouth, he felt perverse pleasure that Buffy didn't care that her mother was just down the hall. He enjoyed the delicious abandonment that had her writhing on the floor as she greedily drew her legs around his waist.

"We don't have that much time, Buff," Angelus murmured while running a hand up her silk-covered thigh. "We have to get you ready for the exam."

She nipped his chin impatiently. "I don't care…we'll study later."

Part of him felt like chastising her for impertinence, however the other part enjoyed her sexual aggressiveness.

But he could only take that for so long.

Threading his fingers through her hair, he yanked it hard. He licked the side of her mouth before growling, "Do you want it rough?"

"Yes!"

"I'm going in the same place," Angelus whispered in dark warning.

"I don't care…just as long as you're in me," she moaned in return.

Scraping a fang across her lip, he watched in fascination as a bead of blood appeared. "Mmm, that's what I…LOVE…to hear," he murmured.

He sat up and reached in his pocket for the bottle. Flicking it open, he smirked as Buffy sat up as well and once more unzipped his pants with her teeth. Angelus freed himself from the confines of his underwear before rubbing his engorged head across her lips.

"Does Buffy want this?"

Her hazel eyes were glazed over with powerful lust as her lips opened in affirmation.

Angelus' head dropped back as her hot mouth closed over the tip. He moaned in bliss as her talented tongue swirled about his head, before sliding further down. _Oh, that feels so good. I could come right now. But, no. Not yet._ Touching her face, he knew Buffy would recognize his silent desire. She immediately pulled back and waited.

 _This creature of mine truly has come along SO beautifully._

Angelus poured a generous amount of lubrication on his cock, wanting to make sure she would suffer no more discomfort upon entry than necessary. "Lay back," he ordered in a husky voice while grabbing a pillow off the couch.

Complying with his command, Buffy tilted her hips up as he slid the small decorative cushion beneath.

"Pull your bra up over your tits," he instructed as he intently studied the decadent picture Buffy made. Her short pleated aqua-colored skirt, white thigh-highs, rumpled shirt, exposed breasts and bare pussy inspired all manners of desire in a creature like himself.

 _Mine. No one is going to take her away from me. Not her calling, not her friends, not her mother…not even her priest. Buffy belongs to me. ME._

Yet, despite his arrogant thoughts, Angelus compulsively needed to hear her say the words.

"Who do you belong to?"

"You. Only you," Buffy sighed as she shifted restlessly on the floor.

His dark eyes narrowed in masculine pride upon hearing her declaration.

"That's right."

Kneeling closer, Angelus tipped the bottle until a small stream of liquid coated the tiny, puckered hole. He closed the lid and set it down next to the moist crop handle. With very little ceremony he rubbed himself against the lubricated orifice and slowly pressed forward.

"Ah!"

Her tiny gasp was tinged with a note of pain. Angelus eased off and waited until she firmly wrapped her small hand around his base. He felt her angle his penis down slightly before releasing it. Moving once again, he carefully slipped past the tight ring of flesh.

Angelus glanced down and took in the expression of discomfort on Buffy's face. Tossing her a rakish smile, he waited until she gave him a shaky smile in return. No matter how many times they had anal sex, the first few minutes visited pain on her.

It probably always would because of his size.

Firmly pressing ahead, he began a quick rhythm that forced her body to adjust. Long ago he learned that slow progress ensured prolonging the unpleasant, so this way was much like ripping a bandage off in one sure movement.

"Angelus," she quietly moaned in equal parts enjoyment and distress. However, Buffy soon began moving her hips in response.

Sinking deeper and deeper with each thrust, the vampire happily burned with lust for the Slayer. Touching her was unlike anything else to be had in the world. No matter how many women he had, there was nothing like being with Buffy.

Yet, knowing this dirty fact rankled his black heart and provided almost as much torment as being away from her.

Almost.

" _ **Goddamnit! Will you shut her the fuck up?"**_ _Angelus hissed to the blond vampire next to him. His annoyance only seemed to encourage the cold light of malicious amusement in Spike's eyes._

" _ **Dru has taken a fancy to being a song bird tonight, Scourge. Don't see how it bleedin' hurts you any."**_

" _ **Song bird? Hmph."**_

" _ **That's right. Song bird."**_ _Spike smiled beautifully when Druscilla glanced their way._ _ **"Besides,"**_ _he whispered,_ _ **"aren't you the one always tellin' me to be a bit more cultured? Seems like you just want to give advice, but not take it."**_

 _Clenching his jaw, Angelus impatiently rapped his fingers against the metal table. While Dru's voice was hardly the cause of his fury, it definitely seemed to exacerbate it._

 _Although to be fair to his former mistress, her singing was quite lovely and fey._

' _ **But I don't care. I want her to shut her mouth.'**_

 _Angelus felt tight and edgy, as if something was not right. He had been feeling it ever since he threw Buffy out over her little comment about Dru. However, tonight it was much worse._

' _ **Let her think I'm pissed because she insulted my childe. Like I give a shit,'**_ _he thought sourly._ _ **'If she's too damned dense to know it was her reference to good old Angel-well, I hope she rots.'**_

 _Druscilla's last notes drew to a quivering, mournful end._

" _ **Finally,"**_ _Angelus muttered to himself as he politely applauded-which was immediately drowned out by Spike's enthusiastic response._

" _ **Right on, luv,"**_ _he shouted before whistling and pounding the table with his fist._ _ **"Give us another song, Dru!"**_

 _Slanting the peroxide creature a disgruntled glance, the dark vampire heaved a loud sigh. This immediately drew a troubled frown on Druscilla's pale face._

" _ **Daddy?"**_

' _ **It's not her fault.'**_ _Forcing himself to smile graciously, Angelus nodded his head and murmured,_ _ **"Continue, darling."**_

 _The slender vampiress shook with joy at her sire's approval. Taking an unneeded breath, she began singing a lively tune from another era._

 _Making sure his gaze never left his goddess, Spike quietly bit out,_ _ **"No one asked you to fucking come, Prick. If you don't want to be here-leave."**_

 _Not bothering to spare the Brit a glare, Angelus answered smugly,_ _ **"I go where I please, Spikey-boy. Or have you forgotten that?" 'Dumb bastard.'**_

 _His words apparently hit a nerve._

" _ **It's rather easy to forget considering we haven't seen you in weeks,"**_ _he spat. Turning his head slightly, Spike smirked and added,_ _ **"Not that I'm complaining."**_

" _ **I bet you haven't,"**_ _Angelus answered dryly. Druscilla's voice faded away as his thoughts revisited the darkness swirling inside._ _ **'Something is not right.'**_ _He silently sighed and attempted to bring reason to his paranoia._ _ **'I haven't fed in eight nights. Maybe it's having an affect.'**_

 _He could've easily taken someone off the street or gone to The Cavern, but somehow the options didn't seem appealing. The only blood he craved was that of the Slayer's, but he'd rather be staked than go to her first._

' _ **Buffy will break soon enough and come crawling to me. I just have to wait. I've gone without longer. Besides, it's only been eight nights.'**_

 _Eight nights._

 _Angelus' fingers tightened into a fist, as the dissention within grew wretchedly stronger. Something was not right._

" _ **Prick!"**_

 _Barely biting back a growl, the dark vampire eyed Spike with an unblinking gaze and asked in a succinct voice,_ _ **"Are you purposely gambling with your existence?"**_

 _Instead of retreating into crafty watchfulness, Spike growled,_ _ **"She does all this for you and you don't give a shit, do you?"**_

" _ **What the hell are you talking about?"**_ _It was only then did he realize Druscilla was silently standing in front of him. Two bloody tears were coursing down her face as her striking blue eyes held nothing but unmentionable sorrow._

" _ **You don't like my singing, Daddy? Is that why you stare into the shadows?"**_

 _Before he could answer, Spike snapped,_ _ **"She's happy to see you here, even though you'll probably ending up abusing her like you always do. But she doesn't care because you're HERE."**_

" _ **Jealous, my boy?"**_ _Although Angelus' voice was flippant, inside he couldn't deny the spurt of guilt he felt regarding Dru. He had no idea how much time had passed since she had stopped singing._ _ **'Since when do I feel guilty about anything?'**_

 _However, something in his childe's stricken face reminded him of Buffy._ _ **'Is this how I made her feel?'**_

" _ **Jealous? That's a fucking given, boyo."**_

 _Turning his broken attention back to the present, Angelus sneered while thinking,_ _ **'Ah, he's broken out with the slurs on my heritage. He must really be pissed.'**_

" _ **You don't deserve her affection."**_ _A muscle in Spike's jaw twitched repeatedly as he kept his stare on Druscilla._ _ **"You don't deserve anyone's affection."**_

 _While Angelus remained motionless, those coldly spoken words had an effect on him that could not be denied._

 _Suddenly, a shaft of indescribable pain pierced his dead heart. Closing his eyes, he leaned his head back and attempted to control the torment pounding into every inch of his being. Just as quickly as it appeared, the pain left…leaving the impression of crazed desperation._

 _Druscilla let out a howl of demented glee as she bent over._

" _ **What's wrong, luv?"**_ _Spike cried in concern._

 _The petite vampire lifted her head while a maniacal smile curved her pale lips._ _ **"Like a broken bird falling out of its little cage,"**_ _she whispered in delight._

 _A chill crept over Angelus' spine._ _ **'Buffy!'**_

 _Careful to keep his voice modulated, he asked,_ _ **"What are you seeing, Dru?"**_

 _Turning her sharp gaze towards him, Druscilla answered,_ _ **"Ooh, she runs but she won't get far, will she, Daddy?"**_ _She leaned forward and carefully said,_ _ **"Like a broken bird falling out of its little cage."**_

 _A twisted chuckle broke free from Spike's lips._ _ **"I get it, Pet and I take it Daddy does too."**_ _He turned to the silent being beside him and pityingly remarked,_ _ **"Slayer's flying the coop, eh?"**_

 _The desire to smash the Brit vampire's face in nearly took control of Angelus._ _ **'He's not fucking worth it.'**_ _Instead of ripping Spike's head off, he gracefully stood up and walked over to Druscilla. With one finger he wiped off the crimson tears before brushing a kiss across her temple._

" _ **Thank you, darling."**_

 _Not bothering to see the reaction to his rare kindness, Angelus stalked out of the factory._ _ **'Buffy is FUCKING leaving me! Just when I thought I could trust her…no, fuck that. I can never trust her. She's just a bitch.'**_ _The few vampires loitering around the dank building quickly fled as they felt his deadly rage radiating in suffocating force._

' _ **Get control. At this rate I'll rip her heart to shreds as soon as I see her.'**_

 _Angelus commanded his body to carefully open the door of his SUV, instead of tearing it from the hinges. Settling himself in the seat, he calmly turned on the engine. With equal composure, he drove towards Revello Drive._

 _However, when his sharp gaze saw Buffy's tiny figure throwing a suitcase in the backseat, all calm momentarily disintegrated._

 _Tightening his grip on the wheel, he pressed his foot down and came to a screeching stop right behind the Cherokee. When Angelus heard her engine shut off, he felt a sense of sanity return._ _ **'She saw me. Good.'**_

 _He closed his eyes briefly before composing his face into a mask of easy arrogance. Sliding out from the Rodeo, he couldn't stop himself from putting a little extra force into closing the door._

 _When he approached the driver's side, he could clearly see the tenseness in Buffy's pale face. Although he knew what she had planned on doing, seeing the reality of it made him feel hollow._

' _ **I'm not letting her go. I don't care how much she begs and pleads for freedom. It's not going to happen.'**_

 _Keeping his black gaze trained solely on his erring mistress, he lifted his hand up and tapped the window. When she ignored his gesture, Angelus instantly gave into his awesome rage. The glass crackled beneath his fist yet it wasn't enough._

" _ **Hmm, well what do we have here? A suitcase full of clothes I take it?"**_ _When she didn't answer, he forced his voice to purr,_ _ **"Going somewhere, lover?"**_ _when all he wanted to do was shout,_ _ **"This is how you betray me?!"**_

 _It was so easy to pretend that Angelus held all the power of emotions in this intrigue._

 _But it wasn't true._

" _ **Get out of the car." 'Get out, Buff. Just do it and everything will be okay.'**_ _His indolent stare bored into her, but she wouldn't look at him._

 _Angelus refused to acknowledge the panic twisting inside his gut. Instead he opened the door while repeating,_ _ **"Get out of the car, Buff." 'Maybe she's just scared. I'll make it easier for her.'**_ _The seconds ticked by while she kept her gaze trained ahead._ _ **'C'mon, Baby. Just do it and we'll be okay. We'll be okay.'**_

 _And then the unthinkable happened._

" _ **No."**_

 _Before Angelus could give conscious thought to his actions, he had yanked Buffy out of the vehicle. The black fog of rage lifted for a moment when he realized his claws were digging into her arms._ _ **'Why are you making me do this? Why?'**_ _However, instead of docilely begging for his forgiveness, she started fighting him._

 _Hatred consumed Angelus as he forced Buffy into his SUV._ _ **'I've been too soft on her. I should've punished the whore immediately instead of trying to give her a way out.'**_ _His hard eyes narrowed in promised retribution._ _ **'I'll fix my error soon.'**_

 _Throwing her into the front seat, he felt his mouth drop open in shock when she flung open the passenger door and sped off into the night. For several seconds he stood there trying to process what had just happened._ _ **'She ran away from me. I just had her, but she's gone. How did we get to this point?'**_

 _Angelus experienced a shaft of numbness spreading throughout his body. Stepping away from the door, he felt lost. Although a part of him was screaming,_ _ **'Go and bring her ass back here!'**_ _he didn't feel the energy to obey. He tilted his head back and distantly acknowledged that the night sky was beautiful. Several minutes passed while he continued to look upwards._ _ **'How can it look so exquisite when everything beneath is Hell?'**_

 _Finally, he tore his gaze away and tiredly glanced at the empty house._ _ **'I could smell the tears on Buffy, but I didn't think about it then. She was crying. Was it because of me, little Slayer?'**_

 _Angelus let out a sigh and walked back to the Rodeo. Coming around the passenger side, he closed the door before returning to the driver's seat._ _ **'Maybe I should give her some space. Maybe…'**_

 _However, the darker side of his instincts couldn't let it go._

' _ **If I don't finish this tonight, Buffy will have beat me. I can't lose this game. I won't lose.'**_

 _Unfamiliar indecision relentlessly gnawed away at Angelus as he sat in his vehicle. He closed his eyes and dropped his head onto the wheel._ _ **'Is winning so important? Maybe I should let it all go.'**_ _For the first time in weeks, Angelus wondered if perhaps he should let their twisted affair end._

' _ **I hate the way I feel around her. I hate the insecurity, the fear…EVERYTHING. I'll never admit it to anyone, hardly to myself, but I feel so helpless around Buffy. And so I bully her, she submits, but in the end…I just don't know. I hate the obsession consuming me. Nothing feels right anymore. Nothing.'**_

 _The imagined thoughts of liberation played in his frayed mind. If Buffy didn't possess the center of his fixation, then he could be free to pursue his selfishness without pause. He would be able to feed without discrimination and ease the sexual hunger without suffering a sense of dissatisfaction._

' _ **If she leaves Sunnydale, things will become right for me. I know they will. She wants to go. Maybe I should just let her. We'll both be free then.'**_

 _Lifting his head up, Angelus resolutely turned on the Rodeo and backed out the drive._ _ **'It's just my stupid, wretched fear talking. If I feel afraid, then that's all the more reason to continue. I don't run away from what I fear. I won't start now.'**_

 _Within minutes he turned off the engine again and waited. The night was quiet and the small gas station deserted. His dark eyes were fixated on the only road leading out of Sunnydale. Soon a green Cherokee came tearing down the ashphault, barely slowing down to take a sharp turn._

 _Angelus' eyes flashed golden as he started after Buffy._ _ **'She's insane if she thinks that she just snuck out of here.'**_ _For hours he followed her, making sure to keep his distance and speed non-threatening. It occurred to him that she might decide to drive on into the morning, but he would be safe because the windows in the Rodeo were outfitted with the same type of glass as his penthouse and her home._

 _A cold smile of satisfaction lifted his lips as his sharp vision saw her turn off the highway and into a hotel parking lot._ _ **'Soon you'll learn who is master here and who is not.'**_ _He took his time to reach the near-empty lodge. Parking close to Buffy, he gracefully stalked towards the door. When he saw his faithless bitch, he could feel his vision darkening in fury._

 _The clerk stopped in the midst of explaining to Buffy about her company's ID policy to let him in. Avidly watching his mistress' face, he knew when she noticed his presence. A wicked howl erupted inside his mind at her look of fear._

" _ **Thanks for your help. I'll just keep going. Goodnight."**_

 _Fury exploded in his being upon hearing her words._ _ **'Does she think I came all this way just so she can leave? Who the fuck does she think she's dealing with?'**_

" _ **You don't see anything in the lobby right now. We've left to go to another hotel and there's no one here."**_ _As soon as the clerk turned around, he pinned Buffy with a stare designed to have her quailing._ _ **"You pulled off too soon, Baby. You should've waited until daybreak."**_

 _However, his mistress disappointed him once again._

" _ **You just don't get the hint, do you?"**_

' _ **I'm going to make you eat those words.'**_ _When she took several steps back, Angelus found himself mildly appeased._ _ **'If she fears me, she's easier to control.'**_

" _ **Buffy, I'm going to tell you something and I want you to listen carefully."**_ _Looking down into her defiant face, he knew his control was hanging on by a proverbial thread. The muscles in his jaw tightened repeatedly as he coldly warned,_ _ **"If you ever try to leave me again, I'll break you. I'll break into a thousand pieces and nothing anyone does will EVER put you back together again. Do you understand me?" 'I mean every word I say, Baby. Don't make me prove it to you.'**_

 _As she stood there silently, Angelus started to feel a thrill of victory._ _ **'Good. She understands.'**_ _Her scream of rage eloquently disproved his thoughts._

" _ **Who the hell do you think you are?!"**_

' _ **How dare she?'**_

" _ **You LEFT me for eight nights! EIGHT FUCKING NIGHTS!"**_

 _Angelus heard the suitcase hit the floor before her small hands pushed into his body with little affection._ _ **'What are you talking about, Bitch? You're the one who left, not me!'**_

" _ **You don't have ANY right to threaten me about anything!"**_

' _ **Wrong.'**_ _He grabbed a hold of her wrists and pulled her to him. Feeling the contact between them, Angelus experienced a primal sense of satisfaction._

" _ **Have you lost your damned mind?!"**_

" _ **Yes! Yes, I have, LOVER."**_

 _Angelus barely bit back an enraged growl when she pulled away from his touch. However, he didn't have time to reply before Buffy hissed,_ _ **"You toss me aside whenever you feel like it, don't you, LOVER? Just because I said something against your precious, insane bitch!"**_

' _ **Dru? You still don't get it! You fucking think all this is about Dru?' "Don't tell me you're jealous?" 'You deserve to suffer for being stupid, Buff. How can you even think she's above you?'**_

" _ **I am. So what? Why wouldn't I be jealous? I LOVE YOU, you worthless, dead bastard!"**_

 _Warmth spurted inside his being, even though Buffy's words were spoken more as a curse versus a beautiful declaration._ _ **'This may be the second time tonight that my jealousy card didn't work, but I don't care if it gets me this.'**_

" _ **But that isn't enough, is it? So why are you even here?"**_

' _ **Why do you think, lover? Why would someone like me risk the daylight? It's for you, Buff.' "Isn't it obvious? To bring my disobedient bitch to heel."**_

" _ **Bitch, huh? I'm no better than a dog to you, am I?"**_

' _ **I never said anything about you being a dog. I said "bitch." There's a difference.'**_

" _ **If I'm a dog, then what is she, Angelus?"**_

' _ **Why does she keep bringing up Dru? Fine then. She'll keep her useless questions to herself after this.' "Dru is a little piece of beautiful history, that's what she is, Slayer. She was someone worth turning, worth remembering."**_

 _Buffy, apparently, didn't react how he expected. Instead of crying she emotionlessly stated,_ _ **"If you want her so badly, why don't you go trotting after her like the sorry dog you are?"**_

 _Angelus suddenly grew impatient and angry with Buffy's refusal to see what their situation was really about._ _ **"Because unlike someone I know, she's sitting at home, faithfully waiting." 'Now be quiet and let's go.'**_

" _ **Home, huh? Well, don't you think you should get back before she decides to go throw herself off a cliff or something? I mean that is what your type of women seem to want to do."**_

 _He heard the pain in her voice, but it was quickly drowned out by the lazy mockery._

" _ **Oh that's right. I forgot. That wasn't a woman flipping out because you left her-that was someone who flipped out because you WOULDN'T leave."**_

' _ **You can't do this to me. I know you are not about to say it.'**_ _Keeping his mean gaze locked on her he was forced to watch as she began walking past him._

" _ **Take the hint, Angelus."**_

' _ **FUCK THIS!'**_ _He grabbed her arm again before applying brutal pressure._ _ **"How dare you speak to me in that tone, you insolent little girl?" 'I'm losing control. She's going to leave me. I know it. Don't say it, Buffy. Don't.'**_

" _ **How dare I? How dare I? I'll tell you how far I dare-you took that bitch's side over me! You punished ME because of HER. You threw me out and didn't want to see me at all! Well, now this time I don't want to see YOU."**_

' _ **I didn't take her side! I punished you because you brought up Angel's name!'**_ _However, the words screaming in his head stayed locked inside._

" _ **I don't want to hear you, feel you, or even talk to you! Got that?"**_

" _ **Well, that's just too fucking bad, Buff. Come on-we're leaving."**_ _His words, heartless enough, made a valiant lie of his panic._ _ **'Don't say that. You can't mean it. I know you love me. I know you wouldn't leave me. This can't be right.'**_

 _He watched as she closed her eyes and an expression of unbearable pain crossed her face. In that moment, he felt it echo inside of himself, but he wasn't sure if it his or hers._ _ **'Don't leave me. Not now. Not when I…'**_

 _Before he could predict it, Buffy yanked her cross out and shoved it in his face. He loathed his instinctual reaction, but he helpless against recoiling from the small piece of metal._ _ **'Damn you! Why are you ruining this for us?'**_

" _ **It's over, Angelus. It's fucking over. I'm sick of you and the way you treat me. Your heart belongs to Druscilla and that's where it belongs."**_

 _He could feel her walking towards the door and wanted to yell in rage because the cross' power still had him in its grip._ _ **'She said its over and it can't be. I don't believe her. She's just mad at me. Soon she'll start crying, I'll open my arms, and she'll run to them. I know she will.'**_

" _ **Don't think I'm being noble and giving you up for her because I love you and want to see you happy. I'm ending it because I won't be a replacement for another girl. No matter what I've done for you, I won't do that."**_

 _It was in that moment that he realized Buffy had no intention of seeking his touch or his comfort. She was going to leave him. Forever._ _ **'I hate her! I FUCKING HATE HER!'**_ _Overcoming his vampiric nature, Angelus hurled his body towards her and sent them both crashing through the glass door. Although a distant part of him felt ashamed at his loss of control, he was too far gone to stop._

" _ **Fuck you, Buffy Summers!" 'Fuck you for having this power over me!'**_

 _When she started struggling against him, he gave into his spurned rage. Grabbing hold of her head, Angelus smashed it against the concrete without remorse. Buffy's small cry of pain couldn't reach whatever reason he had left._

" _ **Get off of me!"**_

 _Some part of Angelus' brain recognized the sensation in his left side as a suitcase being slammed into him, but it was her furious voice that drove his next actions._

' _ **Never. I'm never going to let you make me feel this way again.'**_ _His face instantly morphed as his fangs lengthened with deadly precision. As a result, small patch of skin near Buffy's throat suffered Angelus' irrational method of communication. While the rich blood flowed into him, he clutched her tighter and tighter, almost as if he were trying to consume her body and soul._

 _Finally he withdrew his fangs and gazed down into her weakened eyes. What he saw in those hazel depths shook him to the core._ _ **'She looks so sad, so empty. Like I just stole the light out of her life. I don't want her looking that way. Doesn't she see that this is her fault? Can't she understand that I didn't want it to be like this?'**_

" _ **So this is what it comes to, huh, Angelus?"**_

' _ **What am I thinking? I should want her misery and I do, but not like this.'**_

" _ **Finish it."**_

 _Unwanted nightmarish specters rose in Angelus' mind, pointing icy fingers of blame upon him._

" _ **Angelus?"**_

" _ **Close your eyes, my love."**_

' _ **No, goddamnit! I won't let that happen!'**_ _Leaning down he didn't allow the rage consuming his broken sanity to slip through. Instead he hatefully whispered,_ _ **"You wish."**_

 _Without another word exchanged between them, Angelus scooped her slight form up and quickly made the decision to take the Cherokee._ _ **'I'll have someone pick up the Rodeo for me later in the morning.'**_ _As he placed his mistress in her seat, he couldn't help but look at the evidence of her neck's wound._

 _A wound inflicted by himself._

 _Tenderly brushing away a few strands of hair, he could feel Buffy's stare burning an accusatory hole into his profile. For the first time ever, Angelus felt truly ashamed of himself._ _ **'She's mine and I abused her like this. I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have done it to you, darling.'**_

 _Instantly he reversed his mentality and tried to find a way to displace the blame._ _ **'But don't you see? You brought it on yourself.'**_ _Before he realized it, Angelus spoke the last words careening in his mind out loud._ _ **"You brought it on yourself."**_

 _Yet, the words rang hollow._

' _ **I need to get us out of here before the peasants decide to call the police.'**_ _Refusing to glance in Buffy's direction, he started the engine, drove out of the parking lot and onto the highway._

 _Soon he heard the sound of chattering teeth. Even though it didn't bother him, Angelus acknowledged that the wind coming in through the broken window was brutal. He turned on the heater full-blast and made sure the vents were all angled in Buffy's direction but he realized it wasn't enough._ _ **'She lost too much blood,'**_ _he clinically thought, while neatly extricating himself as the cause by using the word "lost."_

 _Seeing a sign for a hotel, he quickly made the decision to pull off. As he put the gearshift into park, Angelus debated on whether he should leave Buffy._ _ **'I don't think she'll run. But I don't know. Maybe she's faking how weak she is just so I'll leave. I should bring her with me.'**_ _Taking a closer look at her pale face, he found himself asking,_ _ **"If I leave the heat on, can I trust you to behave?"**_

 _When all she did was nod, Angelus felt something akin to sickness roil in his gut._ _ **'She looks so damned weak, so beaten. Why does it make me feel so…so what?'**_ _He hated his uncertainty and once again he wondered if his actions towards her was worth it._ _ **'If all I live to do is make you miserable…'**_

 _He couldn't bring himself to finish his thoughts._ _ **"I'll be back."**_ _Angelus waited for a reaction but all he received was the soft sound of her breathing. Leaning down, he kissed the wound on her neck in mute apology._ _ **'I'll make you smile for me, Buffy. I'll make you so happy that all this will seem like a nightmare. I know I can do it. I won't let anyone come between us again.'**_

 _Angelus impatiently went through process of checking in, however, the clerk was only the recipient of pleasant smiles and a carefully modulated voice._

" _ **Do you have any rooms on the first floor by the exit?"**_ _he asked softly._ _ **"I really don't want to have to carry my bags too far if I can help it."**_

" _ **I understand, sir. I'm pretty sure we do, but let me double-check."**_ _A moment passed before a small sound of victory echoed in the empty lobby._ _ **"Ah-hah! We sure do."**_

" _ **Good."**_ _Angelus discreetly looked over his shoulder and saw Buffy still slumped in her seat._

 _The desk clerk happened to catch sight of her as well and felt the need to make a friendly comment._

" _ **It looks like she's knocked out for the night."**_

 _The vampire slid his black gaze back to the older man and felt a surge of irrational anger rise before it settled down._ _ **'I can't lose my head again. That's how I got in this damned situation in the first place.' "Yeah, she's pretty tired. By the way, that room has a king-size bed, right?"**_

" _ **Yes, it does."**_ _While typing the information from Angelus' drivers license into the computer, the clerk asked,_ _ **"Can I get the name of your guest please?"**_

" _ **Actually she's not my guest, but my wife,"**_ _he unnecessarily pointed out._ _ **"Her name is Buffy Gryphon."**_ _He hadn't meant to lie, but in that moment Angelus felt a deep sense of satisfaction._ _ **'She belongs to me more than Fiona would've.'**_ _Instantly he acknowledged that it Fiona was never his, but rather Angel's._ _ **'No matter. Buffy is mine. Mistress, whore, slave, wife-those are all her titles.'**_

" _ **Alright, Mr. Gryphon. Here's your license, credit card, key, and receipt. If you'd like to have breakfast served, please fill out the menu in your room and place it on the door by 6:00 am. Enjoy your stay and if there's anything you need, please feel free to call the front desk."**_

" _ **Thank you, Mike. Have a good night."**_ _Angelus gracefully strolled back to the Rodeo and slid into the seat. Briefly he touched Buffy's face and frowned when she didn't react to him. Putting the SUV in drive, he quickly found the other side of the building and parked as close as he could to the door. Exiting the car, he opened the passenger side and gently whispered,_ _ **"Buffy."**_

 _Her eyes stayed close._

" _ **Buffy…Baby…get up. We're here."**_

 _She remained slumped in the seat, unconscious and unable to hear anything._

' _ **Shit!'**_ _Making sure he had hold of the keys, Angelus carefully lifted Buffy out and cradled her against his chest._ _ **'She's so damned cold.' "Come on, Baby. Just a little bit longer,"**_ _he murmured as encouragement._ _ **'What if I took too much?'**_

 _He fumbled with the card and had to slide it in twice before the door unlocked. Quickly he scanned the little plaques on the wall until he found the right number._ _ **'Shit, shit, shit. I hate this card. Hurry up!'**_ _He barely registered the click before flinging the door open._

 _Gently placing his girl on the bed, Angelus strode into the bathroom, flipped the switch on and was relieved to see that the tub was comfortably large enough for two. He quickly turned the taps on, making sure it was warm enough for the upcoming task._

 _Impatiently he paced the floor as he willed the water to shoot out faster. He could've gone into the darkened room to wait, but he felt a sense of trepidation that he wasn't ready to face._ _ **'What if I took too much? No! I'd know. She's not dying.'**_

" _ **Safe. You're safe."**_

" _ **You came. They told me you wouldn't."**_

" _ **Safe."**_

" _ **I'm sorry that I believed them."**_

" _ **I can't risk you anymore."**_

" _ **Angelus?"**_

" _ **Close your eyes, my love."**_

 _He slammed his fist against his leg and hissed,_ _ **"It's not the same! That's just a fucking nightmare. It's not real. I just went too far in my discipline, that's all."**_ _Angrily shedding his clothes, Angelus left them in an uncharacteristic messy pile on the floor. Stalking out into the room, he was determined to face his fear and prove it was ungrounded._ _ **"She's strong. She'll be okay."**_

 _However, when he saw Buffy's pale and fragile-looking continence, he suffered another moment of disquiet. Sitting down on the bed, he pulled her body onto his lap, and held her._ _ **"Wake up, m'darling. Prove what a stubborn bitch I know ye to be,"**_ _Angelus crooned, not realizing he had slipped into brogue._ _ **"Yor sooch a fiery lass, aren't ye? Well, come on and show me yer fey eyes and bonny smile."**_

 _As the minutes rolled by he worriedly noted that her skin had yet to lose its iciness._

 _Then he realized the obvious._

 _Buffy would NEVER receive warmth from him because he was DEAD._

 _Carefully with his movements, Angelus quickly stripped her limp body of clothes before carrying her into the bathroom. Stepping into the whirlpool tub, he sat down and gently held Buffy against his chest._

 _Closing his eyes he thought back on every wretched step that had brought them to this point and cringed._

 _When she had foolishly babbled,_ _ **"How did you stand Druscilla enough to turn her? It's so annoying to hear her talk! Does she ever say anything without, 'Ooh the stars are whispering my name?' or something equally annoying? If you ask me, Spike went through too much trouble trying to drain Angel to save her,"**_ _he should've just shrugged it off. Or, put his cock in her mouth. He shouldn't have given into his insecurity._

 _Instead, he brought the world down and nearly destroyed the one girl who consumed him night and day._

' _ **What if I lose her because of this? What if this is how it ends?'**_

 _The mere thought of Buffy dying made Angelus feel sick. Dropping his head against hers he whispered,_ _ **"I don't live at the Factory. I rarely even go there. I spend all my free nights with you. I don't paint her-I paint you. I don't buy gifts for her-I buy them for you. The only one who wears my chains is you. The only body to sleep in my bed is yours. Why can't you see that?"**_

 _Within seconds he heard the most beautiful voice in the entire world whisper his name._ _ **"Angelus?"**_

 _The relief coursing through his limbs would've made him collapse in normal circumstances. It took every bit of his inflexible will to keep from crushing Buffy._

" _ **You brought me back to life. You can't ever leave me."**_ _Burying his face into her neck he inaudibly whispered,_ _ **"Don't leave me." 'Not like this. Not in death.'**_

Later Angelus had been able to dismiss his weakness as a result of not feeding for eight nights. And maybe it was true.

Maybe.

Angelus wanted to deny those memories whispering their poisoned weakness in his ears, but he couldn't. So instead he set out to make new memories.

"Please…"

He closed his eyes in bliss as he felt Buffy's legs climb up his hips. They seemed to whisper, _All I want is to please you. You. Only you._

Concentrating on the warm flesh wrapped around him, the vampire could hardly contain the soft growls building in this throat. He allowed his cool hands to glide down to her naked bottom. Digging his fingers into the firm flesh, Angelus raised Buffy higher. He looked down on her body through heavy-lidded eyes and smirked.

She was so incredibly aroused if the expression on her flushed face was any indication.

As Buffy should be.

He felt her little hands reach out to grip his forearms and it made his body sing.

"Lovely…"

"Harder," she commanded with an edge of desperation.

Tossing his mistress a rakish smile, Angelus pulled out of her lithe body and flipped her over. Quickly entering her again, he bent down and feathered kisses across Buffy's shoulders. Increasing the force behind his thrusts, Angelus wickedly thought, _A woman can take a man into her pussy and easily forget him. But she NEVER forgets a man who takes her ass. EVER._

As if to confirm his depraved belief, Buffy threw her head back and violently shuddered with pleasure before panting his name.

"Angelus…Angelus…Angelus."

Her lover nodded in approval as he pulled his hips back.

 _Pleasure. It's the only thing real besides hate. It's the only thing I'll ever need to feel alive._ With extreme deliberation, Angelus sank quickly into her tight passage. Attuning his every sense on the breathy pants tearing from her throat, unexpected laughter bubbled in his. _I'm buggering the Slayer and she fucking loves it._

His voice, dark and full of poisoned triumph, flowed softly into her ear as he bent down.

"Do you like this, lover?"

In answer, Buffy lowered her arms and rested her head against them. "Oh…yessss," she replied in a drawn-out hiss.

In the distance, a phone rang several times, but Angelus hardly cared as the world disappeared into the vibrant colors of lust and misleading contentment. Sinking deeper into a self-woven web of destructive habit, Angelus dug his fingers into Buffy's hips and grunted, "Tell me you love me."

 _I'll never tire of hearing her say it._

"I…I…oh…I…ah…love…you."

 _Being with her feels like home. It makes me believe in forever._

A twisted smile of what could be interpreted as happiness tugged at the corners of his hard mouth. Inhaling her rich scent deep within his dead lungs, the vampire rose up from the burning ashes of their sin and slipped out from her exquisitely tight passage.

Without thought to teasing, Angelus seized Buffy's small wrist and lifted her to her feet. Finding the nearest armchair, he sat down and brought her small body over to straddle him. In a soft voice, he directed her to lean forward before slipping a finger into her. _Still wet. Good._

Angelus vaguely realized the phone stopped ringing. Despite the distance separating them, he could hear Joyce's soft voice speak into the receiver as well as the voice which answered in return. _Perfect._ He let out a sigh of irritation when his girl drew his darkening attention back to her.

Buffy glanced over her shoulder and gave him a sultry smile that nearly made him forget how much he hated her at times.

"What are you waiting for, lover?"

His black eyes flashed golden as he smiled in return. "I wonder if all tutors have the perfect fortune to instruct such impatient pupils," he murmured. _Fuck it. Whatever happens-happens. Besides, this might turn into another lesson to rid my Buffy of useless modesty._

"If they look and taste like you-then I can see why."

"Cheeky girl," he admonished while guiding her back on his erect cock. At the sound of her indrawn breath, Angelus arched his hips up while slamming hers down.

"Ah!"

Buffy was so lost in passion that she failed to recognize the whisper of footsteps heading towards them.

Imagining what was about to occur, Angelus began to doubt his course of action.

 _ **FUCK HER AND HER FUCKING HUMAN MORALS!**_

A frown creased his pale brow as he shook his head. _Not now._ Once again, it seemed like the familiar voice came from within, but…

 _ **IF SHE WANTS TO BE A DEMON'S WHORE, THEN LET HER EXPERIENCE A WHORE'S EXISTENCE!**_

The vampire closed his eyes and concentrated on the sound of Buffy's heartbeat. _It's my demon side, that's all. Maybe if I feed, it'll subside._

 _ **SHE DESERVES TO BE SHAMED FOR THINKING TO USE SEX AS A WAY OF CONTROL!**_

Without noticing his actions, Angelus brought his mouth to her shoulder and nuzzled the soft white fabric. _Buffy's not controlling me with sex. If anything I'm controlling her. So where is this coming from?_

 _ **DON'T BE STUPID!**_

 _The darkness inside is eating away at me. For the first time, being with Buffy isn't enough. It's not enough!_ Angelus wrapped his arms around her waist and felt familiar fear.

 _ **IDIOT! WEAK, WORTHLESS EXCUSE OF A VAMPIRE! PUSSY!**_

 _No._ His handsome face instantly morphed to that of a monster in response to the heavy derision found within the mental voice. _I'm NOT weak._ Without preamble, he sank his fangs deep into the fragile flesh beneath.

"AH-"

Angelus' hand flew up to smother her instinctual scream of pain. Greedily gulping the delicious blood spurting into his mouth, he knew there would be no scent of orgasm this time. His bite was too vicious. It was one meant to brutalize, not seduce.

However, even though Buffy's tears flowed over his hand, her hips still continued to churn furiously.

 _ **GOOD.**_

After that one word, the wretched voice died.

In one moment of sanity-or maybe insanity as it were-Angelus solemnly wondered, _Why do you allow this? You're the Slayer yet you let me treat you like a whore. Why do I still feel the need to do it?_

Glancing up, he caught sight of Joyce's shadow. Narrowing his eyes, he quickly commanded an illusion to appear. Briefly he suffered a flicker of doubt at his success. _Damned priest!_ he silently cursed to himself as he waited for his mistress' mother to appear. _Ever since that bastard appeared, I've doubted myself more and more._

"Buffy?"

His lover gasped behind his hand and a violent trembling took control of her slender body. Angelus released her mouth while continuing to feed. There was no other choice but to sit and wait. It would either be a complete success or a pitiful failure, but like so many other things in life, Angelus and his Buffy would have to wait and see.

" _ **Baby?"**_

 _Toweling his hair, he brusquely answered,_ _ **"What?"**_ _while striding towards his enormous dressing room. He had just experienced the foreign event of showering alone and it had done nothing to sweeten his already sour mood._

" _ **Don't be like that,"**_ _Buffy charmingly pouted as she sat cross-legged on the bed with remote in hand._

 _Even though she had given him a fantastic blowjob before his shower, Angelus still couldn't shake off his feelings of suppressed rage. Perhaps it had something to do with him not fucking Buffy-other than her mouth._

 _The fact that it had been because of his contrary wishes no longer mattered._

 _Angelus paused by the new television and arched a brow._

" _ **Like what?"**_

" _ **You know-all frowny and rude."**_

 _He let out a short bark of laughter in return._ _ **"Rude? I? I don't think so, Baby,"**_ _he sarcastically drawled._

" _ **What?"**_ _she asked with a tilt of her head._

 _Although a part of him shouted that he should just keep his feelings private, Angelus ignored reason and snapped,_ _ **"You still smell like spunk, lover."**_

 _A flush of embarrassment darkened her cheeks. However, she raised her chin in subtle challenge and murmured,_ _ **"I didn't know that it offended you."**_

" _ **That's not what offends me." 'Shit! Don't say it.'**_

 _Buffy innocently asked,_ _ **"Then what is it?"**_

' _ **Oh…damnit.'**_ _Crossing his arms over his naked torso, Angelus accused,_ _ **"Ever since I got you this devil's box, all you want to do is watch Friendly, Dodson's Creek, and whatever the hell else strikes your fancy."**_

" _ **But-"**_

 _Cutting her off, he raised his voice in ire and complained,_ _ **"We hardly fuck more than twice a night because of it."**_

" _ **But, Angelus-"**_

 _Completely immersed in his self-righteous rampage he shouted,_ _ **"I had to take a shower alone because you couldn't tear yourself away from E!"**_

 _Instead of rushing to soothe his indignation, Buffy giggled in amusement-much to his aggravation._

" _ **What's so damned funny?"**_ _he demanded in a dangerous hiss._

 _Dropping the remote, she raised her hands and covered her mouth as laughter continued to break free from her lips._

" _ **What the hell is your problem, Bitch?"**_

 _Instead of lifting remorseful orbs up at him, the corners of her clear eyes crinkled with mischievous mirth._

 _The threatening growl echoing throughout the cavernous room eventually seemed to capture her attention and dampen her glee._

" _ **I'm sorry, Angelus. It's just…they're called…Friends and Dawson's Creek."**_

 _Studying her pretty face with narrowed eyes, Angelus could see the playful condescending expression she sought to suppress._ _ **'I see. She thinks I'm just a doddering old man in the body of a young one just because I didn't remember the names of her stupid shows.'**_

 _Trailing those thoughts, a seldom-heard voice of honesty whispered inside his head,_ _ **"But you are old. In fact, you know you shouldn't be here at all."**_ _The truth rankled and frayed his already over-sensitive nerves._ _ **'If it wasn't for that Triumvirate of Fiona, Michael, and Darla, I would've been dust in the wind a long time ago. Maybe I wouldn't have minded. Perhaps, I would've found someone else to wed, someone who would've given me strong sons and maybe a daughter. A daughter with hazel eyes and the sweetest smile ever to grace my life.'**_

 _He instantly bit back a growl at the direction his nauseous thoughts had taken. Adopting an air of boredom, Angelus shrugged and breathed,_ _ **"Whatever. They're both lame."**_

" _ **Are not!"**_

' _ **That life wasn't mine-it was Angel's. I merely stole his body just like I stole Buffy's. I would've never had children or seen the sun. I would've just been lost in the darkness of nothingness.'**_

" _ **Whatever,"**_ _he snorted with a definitive roll of his dark eyes, unsure if he was solely addressing the spoken._

 _His dismissive tone finally penetrated Buffy's amusement, leaving instant remorse in its place._

" _ **Angelus?"**_ _she called out in a softly pleading voice._

' _ **Good,'**_ _he thought nastily._ _ **'I hate hearing her laughter anyways.'**_ _Turning away from the television, he stalked into his dressing closet and rummaged though the numerous drawers for a pair of lounging pants. Immediately, Buffy's light scent wafted throughout the enclosed space._

" _ **Angelus?"**_

" _ **Hmm?"**_ _he answered in a detached manner as he pulled out the desired item._

" _ **I'm sorry."**_

" _ **For what?"**_ _Without looking at her, he dropped the towel, allowing it to fall onto the highly polished floor before presenting Buffy a view of his naked backside._

" _ **Umm, for laughing at you,"**_ _she murmured in a pitifully awkward tone._

" _ **Apologies aren't necessary,"**_ _he answered quietly while turning around. The small smile of relief vanished from her face when he added,_ _ **"What makes you think I care about your opinion of me, anyways?"**_

 _The cutting words had the effect of one of his brutal slaps. Buffy's eyes welled with tears as she glanced away. For a brief moment, as he stared down at her bowed head, Angelus experienced a twisting sensation, which could've passed as guilt, before it vanished._ _ **'Her feelings mean nothing. Besides, she'll get over it soon enough. Her little human heart makes sure of that.'**_

 _Suddenly the rage overtook him again, tormenting him with the humiliating knowledge that he had no control over himself anymore. The proof lay in the fact that his whore's feelings had the power to sway him, even if slightly. The sick reality was that the more he tried to deny the poison festering inside his dead soul, the more toxic it became._

 _In front of Buffy, he attempted to pretend that his thoughts weren't flaying him alive and so Angelus' cruelty increasingly became less a trapping of pleasure, but more a beast of necessity._ _ **"Nothing to say, my darling?"**_ _he murmured in false conversation._

" _ **You're angry with me,"**_ _she whispered, giving audible life to the obvious._

' _ **I'm not angry with you! I HATE you! I hate your humanity! I hate it that you're so damned sensitive! I hate that it takes so little to make you laugh…to make you cry! I HATE YOU!'**_

 _Before he could betray his thoughts, Buffy made the needed mistake of saying,_ _ **"I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I'm sorry."**_

' _ **She thinks I'm like her. That I can feel sorrow in the way she does. Idiot!'**_ _Casually brushing past her, he mockingly replied,_ _ **"You think too highly of yourself, Sweetie."**_ _His words did everything to hide his ire-or so he thought._

" _ **Please don't."**_

 _Angelus stopped at the sound of anguish darkening each uttered syllable, unable to move as if it were his own._

" _ **You have a right to be angry with me."**_ _Buffy approached him cautiously, almost as if she expected him to viciously turn on her. When he remained in the same position, she laid her hand on his forearm and rested her head against his naked back._ _ **"I shouldn't have said anything at all. I'm sorry."**_

' _ **She's groveling for my dubious affection again. How am I worth even one of her tears?'**_

" _ **Please forgive me."**_

 _Listening to the sad sound of her heartbeat, the vampire lost control of his scornful façade and exploded._

" _ **Don't you have a backbone for fuck's sake? What the hell is wrong with you?"**_ _Roughly shaking her hand off, Angelus whirled around and shouted into her stricken face,_ _ **"You're always mewling about how sorry you are, but what are you sorry for? Does it matter at all anymore?"**_

 _Buffy stumbled back, as if his cruel words had robbed her of the ability to stand without assistance, before collapsing on the floor. Tears spilled from her tortured eyes while her mouth worked to say something, anything, but in the end only soft sobs found substance._

 _Instead of finding satisfaction with his mistress' misery, Angelus suffered the fires of his irrational fury igniting into an emotionally lethal bonfire._

" _ **I can't believe that this is the mighty Slayer everyone fears so much,"**_ _he sneered as he gazed down at her from his intimidating height._ _ **"You're such a damned baby. All you do is fucking cry if I even look at you the wrong way."**_ _Impatiently he waited for Buffy to say something in her own defense, but only the jagged gasps of her breathing spoke to him._

" _ **I spend most of my time wondering why I even bother to screw you in the first place. If you're not crying, you're wheedling for me to buy you something."**_ _Angelus knew his last statement to be a blatant lie, but he spoke it with the insane desire to see Buffy rise up and yell, hit, or throw something at him-anything to stop her tears._

 _Instead, she lifted her small hands and covered her face in a desperate attempt to hide her shame._

 _Storming into the dressing room, Angelus yanked open a drawer from the large bureau. With little thought to preserving the wood, he tore it free and stalked back out with it in both hands._

' _ **The bitch deserves her pain. If she's too weak to tear me a new one-then fuck her.'**_

 _Holding the drawer aloft, he dumped the contents onto the floor and hissed,_ _ **"Look at all the damned clothes I've bought you. Why do I do it? Just to keep you from whining about how slaying ruins your shirts, or how you're running out of underwear because I keep tearing them, or any of a thousand stupid reasons you have!"**_

 _Buffy barely lifted her head as she continued to weep._

 _Infuriated by her actions, Angelus kicked the motley pile and watched as several pieces landed on her small form._ _ **"They better serve the trash than YOU."**_ _When she pitifully clutched a pair of pajamas, the dark vampire let out a maddened roar of fury._

" _ **ARGH! You're so fucking worthless!"**_ _Tearing across the room, he stormed into the bathroom before quickly returning with an armful of feminine treasures. Angelus stopped by the scattered pile and unceremoniously released a shower of shampoo, conditioner, toothbrush, toothpaste, gel, powders, perfume, brushes, and razors._

 _The perfume shattered instantly. A heavy cloud of pure scent suffocated his nose, yet Angelus was too maddened by Buffy's continuous crying to care._

 _Staring at her bowed head with an evil eye, he silently demanded,_ _ **'Come on, Bitch! Remind me of who we really are! I'm a vampire and you're a slayer-not husband and wife! Not human-just dirty abominations! Come on! Show me the darkness!'**_

 _Minutes flew by, never to return again, as Buffy continued to sob._

" _ **Don't you having any fucking thing to say?"**_ _he finally growled._ _ **"Say something, Bitch!"**_ _Upon his command, she obeyed him. It was a whisper, but he heard it clearly._

" _ **I'm sorry."**_

 _Infuriated by her pathetic answer, Angelus hauled up Buffy by the arm, ruthlessly ignoring her whimper of pain, and flung her onto the bed._ _ **'I WILL get a rise out of you.'**_

 _Crouching over her, he began shredding the costly linens with his claws. In spite of her cries of alarm, he grabbed several pillows and deliberately gutted them. Countless feathers floated in the air above as he gripped her chin in his hand and spat,_ _ **"You're pitiful! You don't have any pride at all, do you? It makes me sick."**_

" _ **Please-"**_

 _The unforgiving pressure of his other hand cut off Buffy's pleas._ _ **"I can't stand such weakness! You're disgusting!"**_

 _Her small hand came up to pry his grip away when he said the fateful words._

" _ **Why the fuck isn't there a prophecy out there with your name on it? The world would be SO much better off without a useless Slayer like you, Buff. Maybe then I'd finally have a challenge!"**_

 _A torrent of agony seized Angelus' dead heart even as Buffy's fingers effortlessly broke his. Her leg shot up and kicked him squarely in the groin, but that pain was nothing to one invading his very mind._

' _ **That bitch's grief is possessing me! Oh, fuck!'**_

 _Buffy violently shoved him off and sent him crashing into the headboard, instantly splintering the heavy wood. If he were human, Angelus would've been dead. Instead he was conscious of every bit of emotional and physical agony pulsing through him._

 _Suffering the needed pain of regeneration, he stared at his mistress through a veil of disheveled hair. Her face was completely white, her mouth pressed into a thin, bloodless line. Her eyes, always so expressive with emotion, were nearly swallowed by dilated pupils brimming with betrayal._

" _ **How dare you say that to me?"**_ _Buffy's voice was hoarse, brittle, and barely above a whisper. When he remained silent, she screamed,_ _ **"HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME?"**_

" _ **Because it's true."**_

 _She reeled back as if his words were a sword, which had pierced through her heart._ _ **"I can't believe it,"**_ _she mumbled through numb lips._ _ **"I can't believe that I wanted to live so much because of you and this is what I get."**_

 _Biting back a groan of renewed agony, Angelus nastily spat,_ _ **"What does that mean?" 'Jesus Christ-how can she stay sane with all these emotions running through her?'**_

 _Instead of an answer she closed her eyes and shook her head._

" _ **No. I don't deserve this."**_

 _Before he could point out just how much she DID deserve it, Buffy locked eyes with him and whispered,_ _ **"You have no heart."**_

 _He chuckled with vicious glee and returned,_ _ **"That's because I'm not weak like you, Buff."**_

 _A river of tears steadily trickled down her ashen cheeks as she shouted,_ _ **"If I'm weak, it's because of you! YOU'RE the one who wants me to crawl to you like a pet every night. YOU'RE the one who needs me to suffer pain before pleasure! And YOU'RE the one who taught me to like it too!"**_

 _Stalking over to the hapless television, she drove her fist through the screen before screaming,_ _ **"Fuck you, Angelus, because YOU'RE the one who needs me to be like this!"**_

 _Her blood immediately hit the air and mixed with the cloying smell of perfume. However, this time her crimson liquid did not stir the usual need inside of him. Instead, Angelus silently watched as she proceeded to destroy any evidence of her existence in his room._

" _ **You taught me to beg you for your forgiveness and now you turn on me because of it?"**_ _A stuffed tiger's head went flying towards the blackened fireplace._ _ **"You criticize me for being weak, when you're the one who's really weak!"**_

 _A picture of herself wrapped in jeweled ropes littered the floor in tiny pieces along with jagged splinters of glass._ _ **"You needed to tear me down until I wallowed in the same pile of shit as you!"**_

 _Angelus climbed down from the wreckage of his bed and padded towards her with a sneer._ _ **"I never had to tear you down, lover. You jumped into my arms far too quickly for me to have a chance to." 'Good. Her pain is mixing with hatred. I understand hatred. It's the only thing I really know how to feel.'**_

 _Buffy paused in the midst of stripping a handful of drying roses of their petals before returning to her task. The blackness of her rage had flared up into a dangerous level before subsiding. If Angelus had been curious as to why she hadn't given into violence, he got his answer with one whisper:_ _ **"I won't be like him."**_

" _ **That's right, lover,"**_ _he callously needled._ _ **"You can't blame me for your fall. It was your own weakness that led to this. Not mine."**_

 _The blonde girl finished her task in silence._

" _ **What?"**_ _he taunted._ _ **"No witless comeback?"**_

 _A jagged smile twisted her face as she gracefully walked up to him. Buffy arched up and roughly kissed his hard mouth. Just when he began to respond she pulled away and wiped her lips clean of his taste._ _ **"You don't have to suffer my stupidity anymore, vamp. Congratulations. You won."**_ _With that she tossed the decaying petals in his face and walked away._

 _Angelus' eyes widened in shock as he watched her figure steadily make its way out of his life._ _ **'I got what I wanted, didn't I? She's showing backbone now.'**_ _The blossoming panic choked whatever poison was left in his black soul._ _ **'Shit! She wasn't supposed to act like this!'**_

 _His pride was a forgotten encumbrance as he tore down the hallway._

" _ **Bitch! I'm not finished with you!"**_

 _Buffy never stopped as she threw over her shoulder,_ _ **"Oh, yes you are."**_

 _Narrowing his eyes in thwarted rage, he reached out for her when she succinctly warned,_ _ **"Touch me with that hand and it's coming off."**_ _She then lifted her arm and showcased the dagger clutched loosely in her fingers._

' _ **Where did she get that from?'**_ _Looking to his right, he saw the glass door to the weapons case standing ajar and an empty spot. Feeling his control of the situation quickly dissolving, Angelus accused,_ _ **"You're running away again, Brat. Just like you do every time you don't get your way."**_

 _The Slayer stopped and turned around. The misery in her eyes belied the easy smile on her face._ _ **"I'm not running away this time. I have no intention of leaving this town. Not even for you."**_

' _ **She's giving me the same smile she gives everyone else. It's the one she uses to cover up the truth. Does she think I don't know her inside and out?'**_ _Gingerly shaking his healed hand, he replied,_ _ **"You believe you can just say this is over and it is?"**_

 _Buffy's eyes welled with tears before they became clear again. Shrugging casually she murmured,_ _ **"I didn't say it was over. You did."**_

 _Her relaxed posture bothered him. It insinuated that he was no longer privy to her vulnerabilities and he was no better than any acquaintance she came across. Angelus found he couldn't stop one word from falling from his lips._

" _ **How?"**_

" _ **What difference does it make? What does it change? Nothing."**_

" _ **The difference is that I'm asking you. Now answer the damned question!" 'I need to get control of this again. And I know force won't serve me anything this time.'**_

 _The dry laugh that whispered in the air nearly made the vampire wince._ _ **"God, you're so cruel."**_ _Buffy's voice dropped to a near-whisper, as if she were talking to herself._ _ **"But I already knew that, didn't I? And I still committed the sin of loving you."**_

" _ **And I'm still waiting."**_ _Although his tone was cold and detached, Angelus began to suffer dreaded fear._ _ **'It's as if she's mourning my loss. As if I'm gone.'**_

" _ **You're so cruel,"**_ _she accused in an even tone._ _ **"It's not enough that you shattered me, now you want me to relive it."**_ _Before he could reply she continued._

" _ **You said I had no pride. You're right. When it comes to you-I don't-I didn't. That's what it means when you love someone, Angelus. You don't have pride. You only have love."**_ _Buffy sighed and flashed him a false smile again._ _ **"But you'll never understand."**_

 _Even though she had yet to take a step away, he could feel the distance between them steadily grow._

" _ **Why are you telling me this?"**_

 _This time her eyes were shuttered with a peace that chilled him. It wasn't the stare of a person balancing on the precipice of emotional doom. It was the stare of a person who had accepted her decision._

" _ **Who knows?"**_ _she answered with another shrug._ _ **"I'm stupid, remember?"**_

' _ **Bullshit! This is not happening!'**_ _Angelus desperately sought to change the situation as he silently cursed his temper._ _ **'Why the fuck did I flip out? Just because she was so damned docile? What the hell? It's what I wanted from her!'**_

 _Taking a harassed breath, he said,_ _ **"I'm getting really fucking tired of you pulling this shit, Buff."**_ _Crossing his arms, he stated,_ _ **"It seems like we're constantly running into this problem. It's repetitive. Every time you don't like the way things are going, you pull out this shitty card."**_

 _Buffy took in a deep breath as well._

" _ **It's not a card, Angelus. Goodnight."**_

" _ **I told you before: I'm not letting you go."**_

" _ **You already did. I've turned myself inside out for you, Angelus. I did everything you wanted me to because I thought that somehow that made you happy. I thought that you wanted me. But you never really did, did you?"**_

 _Refusing to venture into the territory she was leading him towards, Angelus repeated himself from before._

" _ **How did I let you go?"**_

" _ **The world would be a better place without me, huh?"**_ _Her hazel gaze flickered towards the life-size painting hanging in its dubious place of honor above the fireplace._ _ **"Maybe you're right. If anything, I finally know how you really feel."**_

 _With a flick of her wrist, Buffy sent the dagger flying across the room. The blade cleanly impaled the canvas representation of her chest._ _ **"You broke my heart with those words, Angelus. I don't have anything to give you anymore. Game over. You won."**_

 _The vampire knew he was going to damn himself with the next words, but he arrogantly uttered them anyway._

" _ **The game isn't over until you're dead."**_

 _Buffy's mask slipped, the pain turning her face into an anguished grimace, before it returned. Her pallor was still sickly but she managed to sound unaffected._ _ **"Cross your fingers, Asshole-I'm sure Giles will find another prophesy with my name on it."**_ _She turned around and quietly walked up the stairs. The sound of her bare feet slapping against marble echoed eerily in Angelus' ears._

" _ **Buff!"**_ _he shouted in a pitiful show of authority._ _ **"Get your ass back here!"**_

 _The mechanical hiss of the elevator doors sliding open greeted him next and then she was gone._

 _He stood there in confusion for a moment before turning around. The sight of his dagger piercing Buffy's heart mockingly greeted him. Then for the first time since he had climbed out of his grave two and a half centuries ago, Angelus bent over and vomited._


	32. Chapter 32

"Sorry to interrupt, Angel. Buffy, has a phone call." Joyce Summers stood in front of her daughter with a pleasant expression, completely ignorant to the fact that a part of the tutor's anatomy was buried deeply within his pupil.

"It's not a problem," Angelus murmured while briefly retracting his potentially fatal hold. "Just as long Buffy keeps her conversation short. We're definitely still in the middle of something." His smooth voice held no real censure, merely friendly firmness.

"Oh, of course."

"Good," he replied softly before returning to his place of comfort. This time, however, Angelus slid his fangs in with such exquisite sweetness, such delicious reverence that Buffy's body fell apart in his arms.

She immediately bit her lips until they bled as the wretched pleasure made a fool of her inhibitions. Her traitorous womb keened with explosive ecstasy while Angelus continued to feed. The feelings intensified when he started cleverly thrusting his lean hips, pushing himself even deeper inside.

"It's Willow," Joyce mentioned quietly, conscious to keep her hand over the receiver. "Do you want me to tell her you're in the shower or maybe studying?"

 _Mom remembered to keep my 'tutoring sessions' secret. She doesn't want to embarrass me, so she's willing to cover for me-even if she has to lie to my friends._ Faced with another example of her mother's love, Buffy experienced a dark shame unlike any she undergone so far.

Meanwhile, her vampiric lover continued to invade her body with thorough possessiveness, branding her insides as his-regardless of who was present.

 _Please stop! Just stop! Don't you have any shame? This is my mother! Don't do this anymore!_ However, she didn't dare speak aloud the words screaming in her mind. After all, anything above a whisper might very well destroy the illusion her lover had carefully wrought.

At least, that was the only way the impaled girl could justify her miserable silence.

"Buffy?" A small frown creased Joyce's brow. It was apparent that she was growing concerned over her daughter's continued silence.

Without turning her head, she knew that Angelus' predatory gaze was trained on every nuance of her posture. Buffy understood that this moment too gave him depraved sustenance, even though his throat continued to slowly swallow pieces of life from her veins.

"Answer her, darling," he whispered while still clamped on her shoulder.

She closed her eyes, unable to face the woman who had given her life. _I'm sorry, Mom. I'm sorry I became this…thing. I'm so sorry._ Reaching out with one hand, Buffy took the phone and whispered, "I'll talk to her. Thank you."

"Alright, then. I'll be in my office." Giving a friendly nod at the immoral man who had her daughter imprisoned in a silken world without walls, Joyce exited the room.

"Good, girl," Angelus crooned in a ghost of a sigh as he released his mistress' shoulder. Whether he was referring to Buffy or Joyce was left unknown.

"Hello?" She knew her voice was cheerful and normal, even if her actions were not.

"Buffy! Hey, what are you up to?"

Angelus' hands had moved to her waist, caressing it with an angelic touch, before going lower. Closing her eye, she gave a guilty start before answering, "Oh, not much. Just hanging out." _Stop,_ her mind cried even as her secret lips easily parted for his questing fingers.

"Good," Willow chirped cheerfully. "Then you're free to go out with me and Oz."

"What?" the Slyer cried in surprise, completely filled by Angelus as he stretched her delicate tissues from above and below. His cool tongue then began to lazily lap away at the remaining traces of blood left from her healed wound.

"We haven't hung out in a while, so I thought that we should, you know, remedy that."

Buffy's head dropped down as her mouth grew slack with desire. "Uhh…Will…umm…" It was difficult to remember her innocent role while her vampire lover skillfully underscored a drama filled with dark sonnets with each touch of his mouth.

"Besides, you never know who you might bump into."

Willow's overly casual statement instantly raised a red flag in Buffy's mind as her head snapped up. "What do you mean?" She tried to stand when Angelus' let out a low, warning growl. Glancing over her shoulder, she mouthed the words 'Let me go' only to see him return the gesture with the word 'No.'

"What?"

Giving Angelus a decidedly nasty glare, Buffy turned her attention to the sound of her friend's voice. _Okay, she's definitely guilty._ "Willow," she murmured in a cajoling tone, punctuated by a hitch in her breathing as Angelus resumed his thorough thrusting. It was apparent he could hear every word being said and therefore his actions indicated there was nothing of interest to him.

Buffy had the feeling that would soon no longer be the case.

"Umm…uh…oh. It's nothing big."

"Willow."

"Oh, okay!" the redhead rushed out in a high-pitched sigh. "It's just that I thought we should spend some non-Slayer time together. Color me guilty."

Buffy was not taken in by the lighthearted laughter echoing across a mile of wire. "Out with it, Will," she demanded while trying to judge how the male behind her would soon be taking it.

A staid pause passed before the feminine voice on the other end spilled the other half in a rush. "And Oz's cousin is in town, so I thought maybe we could just all hang out."

 _Damnit!_ "It's not the same cousin who's 'Grr' is it?" A pale hand reached for Buffy's chin from behind and turned it. Angelus' mouth covered hers in a voracious kiss.

"Oh, no. That's his other cousin. Brian is completely human," she heard through the pounding of her heart.

"So what do you say? Wanna come out with us?"

Buffy kissed Angelus a final time before turning her attention back to Willow. "Thanks, Will. But I think I'll just keep close to home tonight."

"Oh, are you sure?" The disappointment in the redhead's voice was evident.

Angelus wrapped his arms around Buffy's slim waist and lifted her up, only to turn her so she could face him. Their eyes held, as an indefinable current crackled between them. Within seconds, he slowly impaled her to the hilt, stretching sensitive tissues to the point of exquisitely, beautiful pain.

And all while keeping her gaze captured beneath his own.

 _I need him. I need this. I can't live without him. I already tried._

A smirk lifted the corner of his well-shaped mouth, almost as if he had heard her silent pledges. Closing his eyes, he broke the spell and masked his dark stare, but not his emotions. Angelus' pleasure was unashamedly laid bare to Buffy's perusal, therefore increasing her own.

 _I love this man. Oh, I love him so much._

"I mean, you have to go on patrol tonight, so…"

Buffy's head slowly dropped down and the fingers around the phone grew slack as her body submissively sought to accommodate her lover's girth. However, her voice, when it finally came, was perfectly modulated as she answered Willow's question.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Tonight's just one of those nights, you know?"

A brief moment passed in silence before Willow quietly murmured, "How are things going?"

Buffy's heart sped up, alerting Angelus that her friend's question agitated her. He brought his hand to her bowed head and gently tilted it back. His black eyes probed hers fiercely, seeking answers to questions she could only guess at.

Caught beneath his ruthless stare, she could feel her eyes helplessly well up with tears. _I don't want to be weak. I don't. But times like this…I just…can't help it. One questions has the power to break me._

After a few enigmatic moments, he brought his mouth down to her naked breasts and began caressing them with his particular brand of razor-sharp pleasure.

Swallowing with difficulty, Buffy lowered her lids and whispered, "As good as it can be." _Let it drop._

"I know it can't be easy," Willow pointed out with concern.

She pressed her lips together, desperately wanting to keep her thoughts silent, yet her mouth betrayed her with honesty.

"It's not." Angelus paused in the midst of his addictive ministrations and tilted his gaze upwards.

"Buffy…I'm worried."

 _Don't say it._ Feeling her lover's speculative scrutiny, the blonde girl turned her face to the side. "I'm okay now." She forced a note of joviality to her voice. "Really."

However, Willow was not going to allow herself to be swayed from whatever was on her mind.

"I've never seen you fall apart like that."

"Willow, I don't want to talk about this," Buffy firmly declared.

"We need to," was the instant response.

"Why?"

"Why don't you want to?"

Upon hearing her friend's keen question, Buffy felt her defenses crack. She didn't have an answer. At least one not fraught with mistruths.

"I…"

Willow abruptly broke through Buffy's uncomfortable pause and rushed out, "And what about the other, Buffy? If we hadn't been there, Angelus might have…well…it wouldn't have been good."

Despair darkened the Slayer's features as she remembered.

"I know."

Angelus pulled away, leaving her body colder than when his flesh was pressed against it. His detached gaze held curiosity within, before uncompromising awareness shuttered all.

 _He remembers. We both do. And yet, we've been able to pretend as if it never happened. Until now._

"I never knew Angel…I mean, Angelus…could be so…INSANE. Buffy, we all thought maybe things were different. That maybe he wasn't obsessed, but we were wrong." Willow paused for several seconds, as if remembering the events prompting her next words. "The way he looked at you…I never saw such hatred before. I never saw someone look so out of control."

Angelus' features grew remote with each word Willow uttered. Although they were in the most intimate of embraces, she could physically sense him pulling away.

Closing her eyes once more, Buffy dismally wondered just how many times could she fight Fate to keep her life with Angelus.

Even if it was so wrong.

" _ **Seems your master has tired of you, Whore,"**_ _the nameless vampire with brown hair sneered._ _ **"He thinks you're so beneath him that he won't even kill you himself. Instead he sends for scum like us."**_

 _Seeing the Slayer's face remain still and unruffled, his nondescript, blue-eyed companion crowed with cruel delight,_ _ **"I can't even smell Angelus' spunk on her. Hell, that tells me she's not even worth a goodbye fuck."**_

 _The brunette creature ran his lustful gaze over Buffy's barely concealed curves and purred,_ _ **"Now we can't let her die so rejected, can we?"**_

 _Stepping forward the other replied,_ _ **"No, we can't. After all, we're merciful villains."**_

 _Both began circling her, in sadistic anticipation rather than martial skill._

" _ **What do you think she did?"**_

" _ **Who cares? She's a dirty Slayer-that's enough to tear her fucking arms off."**_

 _The pale-eyed vampire snickered._ _ **"I heard that Angelus raped her in front of the Gathering and not only did the stupid bitch take it, she accepted to be his plaything afterwards."**_

 _This seemed to peak the other's jaded interest._ _ **"Is that true, Buffy?"**_ _he drawled, adding stress to her name._ _ **"Did you become your rapist's whore willingly?"**_

 _Disappointed that the Slayer didn't even bother to grace them with an offended glance, the summoned assassins took their verbal attacks up one final notch._

" _ **Which end do you want?"**_

" _ **I don't know-most of her looks…tasty."**_

" _ **Well, I want her ass."**_

" _ **Hmm…not a bad choice. Although her ass is still a bit on the scrawny side."**_ _Licking his lips, the dark-haired demon whispered,_ _ **"I'll just have to settle for her tired…useless…human…whorish…REJECTED CUNT."**_

 _Buffy finally spoke._

" _ **Wrong."**_

 _Eyeing both of the perverted, wretched vampires, she smiled beautifully before launching into her first attack. However, instead of dispatching her opponents instantly, the Slayer began wordlessly taunting them._

 _It began with teasing kicks to their unprotected areas of vulnerability. It soon moved to rough shoves that sent the pseudo-men crashing to their knees. It finally culminated to contemptuous slaps across their ridged faces._

 _And all this occurred without Buffy saying a word._

 _Of course, the vampires' reactions were laughably predictable by her standards. The retaliations became less calculated and more a product of raw fury._

 _Just as Buffy had planned._

 _As time passed by, the two assassins realized that despite all their concentrated efforts, the Slayer had complete control of the match._

 _Nothing they said, did, or threatened changed the course of their final destiny._

 _Once that realization came, both creatures lost control._

 _And it was only then, after completely breaking their spirit with her actions and silence, that the Slayer made the decision to put them down._

 _Going through the fluidly macabre motions of vampiric warfare, Buffy's face held no mercy. She leapt into the motionless air above with stake in hand, finally ready to strike with flawless precision. The enraged beings charging at her stirred no fear or intimidation-merely a sense of duty._

 _Then it was over._

 _With a deliberate coordination of tissue and muscle, Buffy thrust her stake into one heart before immediately destroying the other. Landing gracefully on the ground, with a macabre snowfall of ash floating above her, the Slayer could feel a set of demonic eyes on her._

 _Yet, she dismissed their silent call-just as she had every night for the past week._

 _Turning away, Buffy strolled out of the cemetery on steady legs and made her way home. She never acknowledged the shadow trailing her steps as she turned the corner. She blatantly ignored the dementia possessing her veins as they traitorously cried out to sustain someone who was no longer a part of her life._

' _ **It's over. It's over. It's over.'**_ _The internal mantra only made Buffy feel worse._ _ **'I just won't think about him. I'll pretend like it never happened.'**_ _A bitter smile twisted her pink mouth, breaking the unnatural stillness of her face._ _ **'If that's so true, then why haven't I thrown everything he's ever given me away? Why do I still wear his chains?'**_

 _Not having an answer, Buffy spent the rest of her short walk purposely not thinking about anything except putting one foot in front of the other. Soon she was in front of her darkened house. Easily climbing up to her window, she had both hands on the sill when she felt him behind her._

"Buffy?"

Taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes and evenly answered, "I'm still here."

"I'm sorry if I made you feel bad," Willow apologized in regretful voice. "That's not my intention, but pretending like it never happened will only make things worse in the end."

She glanced up at the cold face of her lover and wondered just how true that was. Buffy could only hope that their night would end up in some semblance of peace.

"We all want to help you."

"Help me?"

"Well, Angelus can't continue to…BE…here."

"You mean you want to help me kill him?!"

"Buffy? I-I don't understand. Why do you sound like that?"

A small smile of cynical amusement flashed across Angelus' mouth before sliding away. His mistress' voice had flared up into barely suppressed rage at the suggestion of ending his existence. Apparently, Buffy's present loyalty couldn't be questioned and he should be pleased.

But at the moment he couldn't because it simply wasn't enough.

Unfortunately, Willow's untimely intrusion had brought distasteful memories to life. They had also brought up a reminder of the sick poison that both Buffy and himself eagerly lapped up.

Denial.

 _Angelus could've sworn he could feel the beginnings of a headache, even though it shouldn't have been impossible. Sitting on the couch, with the accoutrements of tutoring tucked safely away in his black bag, he dutifully awaited for Buffy to arrive home._

 _And although his expression remained attentive to Joyce's incessant chirping, inside he felt as raw as the first time he had ever been tortured._

 _Buffy was rejecting him._

' _ **She has no choice tonight. She HAS to see me. I know she'll do anything to keep Mommy-Dearest ignorant and happy.'**_ _Yet, despite his arrogant reasoning, Angelus felt a tremor of uncertainty. So far, all of his courting had earned him nothing but cold silence._

 _Nodding when appropriate, he kept his senses alert for the faintest pulse signifying his human lover's presence._

 _However, as the minutes creaked by, the vampire could feel shameful desperation claw its way through his dead gut._ _ **'What if she doesn't come home? Buffy knows tonight is her 'tutoring' night. What if she just decides not to show up?'**_

" _ **No."**_

 _Joyce paused in the midst of declaring how excited she was for Buffy's grades to come in._ _ **"Excuse me?"**_

 _Fixing an apologetic grin on his face, Angelus shook his head and murmured,_ _ **"I'm sorry. I just remembered something and it slipped out."**_

" _ **Oh, okay."**_ _With that said, his mistress' mother continued on with her tale of SATs and upcoming college applications._

 _Meanwhile, the vampire forced his chest to mimic the motions of breathing and suddenly found the actions strangely calming._ _ **'Buffy has no choice. She'll come home to me.'**_

 _Training his dark gaze on the entryway, Angelus thought back on the past few days. After the first night, he had sought his erring mistress out, only to find her unwilling to even acknowledge his presence._

 _He had spoken to her, even walked beside her, yet she no more noticed him than she did any of the other strangers they occasionally passed. He had thought she would've at least wanted to shove him into some convenient alley or side street just so no one would see them._

 _And at the moment, he wouldn't have cared if her entire pack found out. Apparently, neither did she for she kept her pace even and steady._

 _When they finally reached the humble Summers' residence, Buffy never paused on her journey to the front door._

 _Seeing she had every intention of shutting him out, he pushed his shoulder through and growled,_ _ **"Buff!"**_

 _Buffy had turned around, looked straight through him, and shoved him out before softly shutting the door in his face._

 _While Angelus could've forced the issue, he had reluctantly opted for retreat. It hadn't been the first time a woman had been piqued with him and he always had the solution._

 _From then on, he had inundated her with flowers._

 _Dozens of ruby roses graced her front porch, locker, room, and cemetery. Surely she would view those delicate beauties as the peace offering they were! Waiting patiently in his Sunnydale palace, Angelus had tensely waited for the elevator to open and his blonde pet to joyfully leap into his embrace._

 _Buffy had not._

 _Instead, Angelus had eventually found his crimson gifts littering surfaces other than those in her possession. The bouquets placed in strategic areas throughout the cemetery were merely moved and placed at the base of unornamented graves. The roses delivered to her in school had gone to decorate the teachers' lounge and front office. The ones left on the front porch and her room had been distributed to various people throughout the neighborhood._

 _It had infuriated Angelus beyond limits to stalk through the streets and smell his gifts adorning various stinking human hovels._

 _But what bothered him more was that they still existed unharmed._

 _If Buffy had shredded his roses or thrown them away, then he would've smiled in pleasure. He would've known he still had the power to affect her._

 _But her actions were so…so…DISMISSING._

 _By giving them all away, she was eloquently telling him that nothing he did was of consequence._

 _And that just couldn't be possible._

" _ **What do you think?"**_

 _Rudely torn from his thoughts, Angelus was completely stumped to what Joyce was alluding to. Tilting his head to the side in charming fashion, he begged her pardon._ _ **"I'm sorry. Can you repeat the question again?"**_

 _Despite seeming a little confused by his uncharacteristic behavior, she obliged him._ _ **"Do you think Buffy could benefit from an SAT prep course?"**_ _Setting her cup on the coffee table, she clarified,_ _ **"Do you think it's too late to sign her up for one this semester?"**_

' _ **Oh, what the fuck do I care about Buffy and college? When I have my way, we're leaving this crappy shit hole ASAP! Slayer or not!'**_ _He leaned forward and placed the cup and saucer on the table as well before answering._ _ **"I'm sure Buffy could benefit from taking a course. If anything, it would help break her nerves by experiencing a test run."**_

" _ **But did I wait too long to sign her up?"**_

" _ **Probably not. You should check some of the local community colleges in the area and see what they're offering."**_ _Pasting a friendly smile on his face, Angelus offered,_ _ **"In fact, I can check for you."**_

" _ **Oh, would you? I mean, if you don't mind."**_

" _ **Of course I wouldn't mind. Buffy is my responsibility and I take it very seriously. I want her success just as much as you do, if not more."**_

 _Joyce's smile slipped a bit. Despite Angelus' non-threatening façade, a tiny portion of his ardor had slipped through and alerted her dormant instincts._

' _ **Shit! I've gotten sloppy. I never would've made this kind of mistake before. Never!'**_

"Buffy, Oz and I are coming over."

"What? No, it's definitely not a good time."

"We'll be there in about ten minutes-without Brian."

"Willow, I love you guys, but I don't want to see anybody right now."

"Buffy, we're coming over." The phone immediately went dead.

His mistress stared at the piece of plastic in her hand and immediately hissed, "SHIT! Why does Willow have to get all resolve-faced now? Damnit!"

Angelus carefully took the phone out of Buffy's hand, drawing her frown to him.

"It always has to come to an end, doesn't it?" he whispered as he settled his mouth over hers.

Tossing the receiver onto the couch, he settled his hands on her hips and began lifting her up and down. _No matter what I or Buffy try to do, it seems that the end is never far away._ As a result, Angelus drove into her small body with a fierceness born from knowing their precious time was being unfairly cut short.

In return, Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and ground down upon his rigid length, seeking to aid his pursuit of hedonistic pleasure. "I don't want you to have to leave," she moaned in distress against his mouth. "I don't want…"

Angelus' moment of weakness came when he whispered in return, "Come with me. Let's just go."

Temptation made its mark on her hungry gaze.

"How can I? They'll be here soon."

Burying his face against her neck, Angelus moaned loudly as blessed ecstasy began churning for release. He ran his lips across the graceful column, over and over again, before answering. "Tell Joyce you're going to mall and that you'll be back by 10:30."

She clutched the back of his head while shaking hers. "The mall's closed and there's no way she'll let me stay out that late. Not on a tutoring night."

Careful not to dislodge his position, Angelus abruptly lifted her up and pressed Buffy down against the couch. Holding himself on his arms, he looked into her eyes and felt his demon rail against the foreign tenderness springing within.

" **FUCKING BITCH! HOW CAN SHE HAVE THIS MUCH POWER OVER YOU!"**

However, instead of falling into the darkness of his being, the vampire merely whispered, "Just come with me. Come."

 _The awkwardness of discovery passed, as Buffy opened the door and casually walked into the house._

 _Angelus' relief at having to avoid a potentially unpleasant situation was surpassed by the pleasure he felt in being so close his mistress. His eyes flashed golden in welcome as he politely stood up._

" _ **Hey, Mom."**_ _She pointedly ignored Angelus, once more making Joyce unsure of the barely tangible currents swirling around the trio._

 _Apparently shaking off her doubts, the older woman smiled and murmured,_ _ **"You're a little late, Buffy. Did you forget about tonight?"**_

" _ **Nope."**_ _Before either adult could say anything, Buffy stated,_ _ **"I just didn't care."**_

 _While his expression shifted to that of a concerned tutor, inside Angelus couldn't believe her actions. He had been so sure that this visit would finally be the way back into her graces._

 _After all, he had exhausted every other avenue available to him._

 _Where the roses had failed, he had then decided to woo her with his presence. Once she stepped her dainty foot outside, everywhere she went, so did he. The daylight meant little to him in regards to the library. As Buffy sat there with her clueless Watcher and equally clueless companions, he had stood cloaked in clandestine shadow and greedily devoured her scent._

 _He would watch as she later flawlessly executed the movements that had spelled the mortal doom of so many vampires. Intently studying Buffy's lithe form as it spun, twisted, and leapt into air, he could feel his arousal pressing insistently for such a dangerous girl._

 _Confined to the fringes of her daily existence, Angelus' fangs would elongate, screaming for just one taste of her, just one tiny bead of her sweat and blood._ _ **'She's a goddess. She's MY personal goddess of Death. Her body is capable of so much destruction, yet I'M the only vampire in existence who knows how sweet she sounds when she comes. MY name is the ONLY one she moans.'**_

 _Just being witness to this side of her life, kept Angelus in manic state of nearly intolerable joy._

 _In spite of the fact Buffy ignored his attendance._

 _However, he KNEW she saw him. While it wasn't enough, he would have to accept it as long as the sun made its hatefully slow journey across the skies. But once night fell, the tale would be one of a different telling._

' _ **She'll come to me. She has to. Buffy's addiction runs as deep as mine. I've taught her body too well.'**_

 _So as the hours passed, Angelus had expected his little Slayer to approach him in warning, just so she could offer some sort of protection for her circle of confidants._

 _He had waited in vain._

 _Buffy never came to his damned corner of humiliating vigilance and therefore, her message had been clear._ _ **'You're not enough of a threat to me, because you're no one.'**_

 _Once the realization set in, Angelus had desired to give into his immediate need for vengeance and destruction. He had wanted to tear the ridiculous library apart, along with everyone in it. But he couldn't._

 _While his cold bitch had never directly acknowledged his presence, her eyes spoke of a terrible consequence if he even DARED do more than sulk in the shadows._

 _Retreating in apoplectic rage, he had been forced to wait for another setting, namely the cemeteries._ _ **'You won't punish me for something so stupid, Buffy. I won't let you.'**_

 _Unfortunately, it had been an even greater disaster._

 _Buffy wouldn't even look at Angelus. Anytime he had managed to place himself directly in her sight, she saw right through him. The beautiful hazel orbs he had gazed into so often no longer held him within their depths. Once, she saw a world where he ruled the center, but now his throne and court were gone, dissolved beneath the careless poison of conceited words._

 _And there seemed to be nothing Angelus could do to change it._

 _Sitting in the darkness, he had felt a twinge of hunger before ruthlessly suppressing it. While he had fed from a pretty girl the night after she walked away out of spite, it had made him ill. Chalking the experience up to a bad batch of blood, Angelus had refused another neck. He wouldn't feed unless the crimson feast was one given by his mistress._

' _ **She'll come to me. I know she will. It's her pride that told her to keep away in the library. I understand. I shouldn't have gone there. I won't do it again.'**_

 _But Buffy never came._

 _As the days made their excruciatingly slow passage, he had refused to recognize the effect her absence was having on him. He stopped showering and had allowed his hair to become a disheveled, dusty mess. His clothes bore the stains of spilled blood, stale liquor, and traces of vomit. He was disgusting but he couldn't care._ _ **'Where is she? How can she stand the separation?'**_

 _Not bothered by how insane he appeared, Angelus had then begun giving full rein to his frustration audibly._

" _ **What the fuck did I do anyway?"**_ _he had shouted at the still-impaled canvas replica._ _ **"So what if I said what I did? How different was it to any of the other million asshole things I've said to you before?"**_ _Grabbing a hapless paperweight, he flung into the fireplace with a roar._

" _ **WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU HERE?"**_

 _However, the oppressive silence was his only companion, slyly reminding him if Buffy were there, it could not exist. If Buffy were there, he wouldn't have to address her inanimate twin, but her._

 _Dropping to the ground, he had rested his head against his hands._

" _ **What what have I done?"**_ _he whispered in a raw voice._ _ **"I drove her away. Just like I did with every single one of them."**_ _Clenching his fists, Angelus choked out,_ _ **"But this time SHE was different. Buffy loved me."**_ _Hearing the past tense of one word made his stomach roil painfully. He placed a shaky hand against his bare flesh and wondered if the pain was a result of hunger._ _ **"I'm not a green vampire. I'm old enough to survive this and more,"**_ _he muttered in confusion._

 _Left with nothing but his thoughts, Angelus could swear he had heard the ghost of Buffy's laughter. A vague smile had lifted his lips as he remembered when things began to change._

 _After they had settled into their liaison, she had brought so much life to his home. No longer was Buffy a morally crippled girl who loathed herself and writhed under the lash of guilt. She had been happy. Whether she was talking to him about her day, singing in the shower, or moaning beneath him, Buffy had made eternity beautiful. She had showed him that his existence did not have to burn with the stench of evil in order to be interesting._

 _Lifting his head, he stared blankly at the painted mural adorning the ceiling. The beautiful woman staring down at him bore HER face and HER smile._ _ **"Buffy never noticed that she was the model."**_ _He let out a mocking chuckle as he stated quietly,_ _ **"I had thought it would be amusing to give her such dubious status when I commissioned it. After all, it was supposed to be a reminder of what my goal was: her seduction and death."**_

 _He had closed his eyes and turned away._

" _ **Now she's gone and she doesn't want to come back. And she didn't run away from town. If she had, I could've drug her ass back. And he didn't hide from me in this town. I could've relished the simple challenge of finding her. I would've then forced her to me. And she didn't even try to replace me with someone else. I could've then killed him and proved my devotion."**_

 _Angelus' gaze flew open. Standing up he had violently shook his head and whispered loudly,_ _ **"No, not devotion. My…intentions."**_ _Satisfied with his word choice, he left the empty room and muttered,_ _ **"Yes, my intentions. I could've proved my INTENTIONS to her with his bloody corpse."**_

 _Stalking into the bedchamber, Angelus had stared at the remnants of their fight. For reasons he didn't want to examine, he had left everything as it was. A memory of Buffy shrieking in delight as she jumped on the bed playfully assaulted him. All his growled threats only had made her laugh._ _ **"Come on,"**_ _she had sweetly invited._ _ **"It's fun."**_

 _Slowly approaching the empty bed, he could see thick splinters of wood scattered across the massacred bed sheets._

" _ **I could understand if she did any of those things, but this I don't."**_ _His brows lowered in genuine confusion._ _ **"I've watched her sleep at night and she doesn't cry for me."**_ _Tracing the patterns on the intricately carved bedpost, he murmured,_ _ **"She doesn't look like she's suffering. She's living her life without me, as if I had never been a part of it."**_

 _Whipping his hand away, Angelus had felt trapped._ _ **"I HAVE to see her! I NEED to make this stop!"**_ _Pacing through the claustrophobic confines of his gilded cage, he had suddenly remembered his cell phone._ _ **"How stupid am I? I forgot I could call her!"**_ _Within seconds, he had torn across the room and frantically searched for his phone. Several dusters found themselves on the floor with a vile curse before his hands had found it._

 _After punching in her number, he held the tiny phone up to his ear. The sounds of ringing were the most glorious music Angelus could've heard, second only to the beautiful cadence of her voice._

 _The connection opened, but he hadn't heard anything, not even a simple hello. Instead, the silence had been long, its tone thick and heavy. Finally unable to control himself, he rasped,_ _ **"Buffy?"**_

 _Without another sound being exchanged, the phone disconnected._

 _Numbly bringing his hand down, he stared in disbelief as read the words:_ _ **"Call ended. 00:01:03"**_

 _He had dialed the number again and let it ring. No answer. Hitting the "End" button, he began the process again when Angelus belatedly remembered her number was stored in his phone. His fingers furiously went through the motions of pressing several buttons just in order to save time of redialing four more._

 _Crouched in the doorway of his dressing room, he agitatedly tapped his fingers against the marble floor._ _ **"You'll eventually get tired of me calling, Baby. You might as well pick up."**_ _Over and over again, he repeated the process of connecting to her number. Every time he thought, 'Finally!' only to have a cheerful voice inform him_ _ **"The party you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please try back later."**_

 _Hours had passed while Angelus obsessively went through the same motions and heard the same message. He was beyond furious. He was beyond reason._

" _ **You have to answer it. You have to."**_

 _Finally the phone rang. Only it wasn't the one in his hand._ _ **"Buffy!"**_ _Springing up, he hadn't cared that he would look weak and out of control. He tore into the living area but had found it painfully empty of her presence._ _ **"I don't understand,"**_ _he had whispered, while his hand hung limp._

 _A phone rang again._

 _Angelus had then realized it was his landline and not the companion to the one in his hand. Walking into his wrecked office, he had shoved several pieces of paper off the phone and onto the floor. Lifting the receiver he had croaked out,_ _ **"Hello?"**_

" _ **Mr. Gryphon, this is the concierge. We've just received a package for you. Would you like us to deliver it now, or would you prefer for us to wait until nightfall?"**_

 _Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he had gruffly replied,_ _ **"Now."**_

" _ **Very well."**_

 _Impatiently he had waited in front of the elevator, pacing back and forth while the cell phone was still clutched in his hand. Finally the light appeared, alerting him that an employee was awaiting his permission to enter. Hastily punching in the code, he had barely allowed the door to open before snatching the large envelope from the man's hand._

 _The elevator slid closed and began descending as Angelus had stared at the package in his possession. Buffy's scent was overpowering him._ _ **"This was in her hand. She left this for me. Why?"**_ _Staring up at him was his name scrawled in her girlish handwriting. A poisoned finger of foreboding touched him as he had opened the envelope._

 _There was no note, only an item. Tilting the package, it had slid into his hand. He let the empty envelope flutter to the floor as he had lifted both hands into the air._ _ **"She gave it back to me. She gave me back her phone."**_

 _Angelus' rejection had been complete. Not only did her eyes not see him and her voice not reach him, now her ears wouldn't hear him._

 _Too defeated to wallow in cleansing rage, he had closeted himself in the small screening room and played countless tapes of Buffy._

 _Buffy smiling. Buffy screaming bloody murder at him. Buffy baking him a cake. Buffy doing laundry. Buffy watching TV. Buffy sleeping. Buffy laughing. Buffy crying. Buffy moaning softly as she fell apart in his arms._

 _They had all played at the same time._

 _Slumped on the couch he watched them with the same intensity he had displayed with the phone. When one tape finished, he had it start from the beginning. His mind had held nothing but the memories of those moments reflected on nine screens._

 _Then he had remembered what day it was._

" _ **I have to tutor Buffy tonight!"**_

 _A sense of urgency had then possessed Angelus. Glancing at a clock he saw that he still had an hour to make it to his mistress' house. After showering and grooming with extra care, he had spent the better part of fifteen minutes trying to decide what to wear._ _ **"It has to be perfect,"**_ _he had mumbled aloud as he debated between five different pairs of black slacks._

 _Eventually the wardrobe had come to together and he had left his building for the first time in two days._

 _Now he was standing before Buffy and she had just finished saying,_ _ **"Nope. I just didn't care."**_

" **What do you mean that you don't care?"** Joyce's voice was stern and filled with equal parts shock and embarrassment over her daughter's behavior. **"Angel doesn't have to spend his evenings helping you. For free at that!"** Seeing Buffy's face remain impassive, she cried, **"What's gotten into you?"**

" **Are you upset with me?"** Angelus softly asked, drawing the older woman's surprised attention. **'Back down, Baby. We don't need to fight in front of your mother.'**

She met his dark gaze immediately. **"No. I'm not angry with you at all,"** she replied in a non-aggressive tone. **"I just don't want to be tutored anymore. I don't need it."**

" **Buffy-"** Joyce began before being abruptly interrupted by her daughter.

" **Mom, I'm tired of all the work I'm doing!"** Buffy exclaimed in a drained voice. **"I'm never home because I'm always at school. And when I come home, I have to study with Angel. I'm burning out and I need my space."**

Several seconds elapsed as Joyce mulled over those words. Angelus spoke in the ensuing silence.

" **Why didn't you tell me this before, Buffy?"**

" **Because Angel-I didn't need to."**

' **She said that damned name so casually. Even though she knows how much I hate hearing it from her!'**

" **The only person I should've told was my mom."** Turning towards her mother, Buffy quietly apologized. **"I'm sorry. I know I should've told you this earlier. Then you could've called Angel and told him what's going on."**

Joyce let out a worried sigh. A note of irritation colored her words as she pointed out, **"I'm not the one you need to apologize to. It's Angel."**

Buffy nodded her head in acceptance. **"You're right, Mom."** She met his black gaze steadily and said, **"I'm sorry to make you come out all this way, Angel. I appreciate everything you've done, but from now on I don't need you anymore."**

' **Not this too! She can't do this!' "I disagree, Buffy. You have finals coming up and while I'm pleased with your tremendous progress-"**

" **Look, I know you're probably already busy with other students because finals will be here,"** she interrupted with polite finesse. **"Like you've said before-you enjoy a challenge. I used to be one, but now I've proved that I can do this on my own."**

Although her words were appropriate to the topic, Angelus heard the dig. **'Buffy's throwing it in my face.'**

" **Well, Buffy,"** Joyce began slowly. **"I have to say I don't like the way this has been handled, but if that's how you feel…I guess there'll be no more tutoring."**

Angelus' mind began drowning beneath a cold sea of bitter shock. **'I won't have a reason to come here anymore. No! I can't let that happen.' "I have to let it be known, Joyce, that I severely disagree with this choice. Buffy is NOT ready to take responsibility for the decisions concerning her education."**

" **Angel, I appreciate your concern, but I trust my daughter. If she says she needs a break, then she does."** Even though she seemed firm in her decision, a flicker of doubt entered her gaze.

Recklessly pouncing on it, he posed, **"Should you trust her?"**

" **Excuse me?"** Joyce asked sharply in offense.

Refusing to back down, he ignored the potential problems he was creating by taking on Buffy through her too-trusting mother. **"Should you trust your 17-year-old daughter with a decision that will affect the rest of her life?"** He softened his voice and added, **"We're both much older and can see further down the road than she can. Buffy may think she can handle her future without our guidance, but I don't think she can. As her mother, I know you can't want to take that chance. As her tutor, I refuse to take it."**

Buffy, who had remained silent throughout their debate, finally spoke. **"I already said what I want. If you choose to let him come here anyway, Mom, then that's your choice. But don't expect me to be here and if I'm here don't expect me to take up what little free time I have studying with you, Angel. My mind is made up."**

Joyce's stare roved between Angelus and her daughter. **"Is there something I need to know?"**

Fear did not cloud his rebellious mistress' hazel eyes and in that moment he knew his carefully constructed web of manipulation was going to be nothing more than broken strands of eliminated power.

' **She's going to tell.'**

" **Mom, Angel and I have been-"**

" **STOP!"** he shouted. Turning to Joyce, he hissed, **"Buffy has just apologized and wants to talk to me alone."**

" **No, she doesn't,"**

" **Shut-UP, Buff!"** Focusing his dangerous stare on Joyce's semi-conscious expression, he forced his voice into a soothing cadence. **"Buffy has just admitted that she's scared of success and that's why she blew off my tutoring. You've just comforted her and now you're going to leave because she wants to talk to me alone."**

Apparently this action was able to do what all his wooing had not before.

" **Get out of her mind!"** she screeched in rage.

" **I've had enough of this, Buffy-"** His equally loud tirade was cut short as she yanked him by the collar, dragged him into the foyer, and pinned him against the front door.

Although Angelus could feel her struggle to keep anger from possessing her, he smiled in feral joy. She was TOUCHING him. After all the days that had passed, Buffy's skin was finally against his.

" **I've missed you, lover,"** he purred as he bent down to kiss her clenched fist. Eagerly he waited for the sound of her increased heartbeat. **"Have you missed me too?"**

" **I want you to listen to me,"** Buffy whispered, the underlying tone of rage barely contained. **"I don't want you here."**

" **I don't care,"** Angelus stated imperiously. **"Your place is by my side." 'I can't slip this time. I can't let out my weakness.'**

She closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them, there was an emotionless veil covering all. **"I want you to listen to me,"** she repeated in an even tone. **"You're going to leave and you're not coming back. Ever."**

' **I've never seen this determination in her. She's not the malleable little girl she was three months ago.'** Mentally shaking his head, Angelus refused to believe the proof in front of him. **"Let's go out for dinner, Buff. Then maybe afterwards…"** He let the end of his words trail seductively.

" **You're NOT listening to me,"** she yelled before abruptly silencing her voice. Inhaling deeply, she let out one breath and began again. **"You just don't get it, do you?"**

" **Get what?"** he softly taunted.

" **You think you can just come in here as if nothing happened and I'm supposed to be okay with that."**

" **So?"** The feel of Buffy's body pressed against his made Angelus delirious with lust.

" **Get out,"** she commanded in a lethal whisper.

" **No." 'I know you can feel me. I know you still need me.'**

Suddenly the world came rushing by as the door disappeared and he went flying through the air. Instinctively adjusting his body so that he landed on his feet, Angelus stared up at Buffy through a curtain of disheveled hair.

" **If you try to come back in here, I'll kill you."**

Her stance was implacable, her tone resolute.

" **You don't mean that,"** he whispered, the cockiness of his tone destroyed with just one sentence.

Without a further word, Buffy turned around, walked back into her house, and closed the door with a quiet "click."

The silence of the night mercilessly ground down upon Angelus, mocking him with the knowledge that he was all alone.

" **YOU DON'T MEAN THAT!"**

"Come with me, Buffy." Pushing deep within her hot depths, Angelus leaned forward and pressed a kiss against her temple. "Don't stay here for them. Leave for me."

"What if-"

"Ssh. It doesn't matter." Snaking his arm beneath her hips, he could hear Buffy's breath hitch as her mound rubbed against his. "It doesn't matter," he repeated.

" **SHE'S GOING TO DESTROY YOU!"** the inner voice hissed, each word becoming a noxious drop of poison in his head.

"Come with me, lover. Come for me," Angelus achingly whispered into her ear as he once more denied his darker nature.

"Ok."

Winding her arms around his back, Buffy pressed her face against his neck and moaned softly. She arched her hips against his and immediately felt the tell-tale tremors coursing through her womb.

Buffy's eyes fluttered shut as she sighed, "I love you, Angelus."

His delighted moan echoed in her ear before he whispered, "Say it again."

"I love you." She licked the side of his neck while she dug her nails into his cool flesh. "I do."

"Again."

"I love you."

"More," he sweetly demanded while sucking her lower lip into his mouth.

"I love you. I love you so much. So very much."

Abruptly stopping the hypnotic movements of his hips, Angelus cupped her flushed face and asked, "Will you ever leave me again, Buffy?"

Staring up at him through a haze of sudden tears, she pledged her devotion without hesitation. "I can't live without you, Angelus," Buffy admitted while rubbing her soft cheek against his hand. "I don't want to live without you."

A torrent of suspicion and cold desperation plagued his black gaze before vanishing. "Swear it to me!"

 _No matter how small a moment it was, he showed it to me. He showed me his vulnerability._ Warmed in a way she hadn't been in so long, Buffy wrapped her legs around his waist and whispered, "I swear, Angelus."

He smiled once in deep satisfaction. Yet his fears hadn't diminished and so needed further assurance.

"You'll never let anyone come between us?"

"Never." Running her fingers across his pale brow, she gave voice to her own fears. "Do you believe me?" Several moments passed while she suffered the expectant pain of rejection. _Please._

Angelus lowered his head until it rested against her shoulder. Lying there motionless for many seconds he finally answered with one word.

"Yes."

Buffy let out a strangled sob of happiness as tears of joy seeped from her tightly closed lids.

"Don't cry," he softly murmured with much of his old arrogance. "I didn't say no."

Laughing through her tears, she leaned forward and kissed him. "You've made me so happy."

An enigmatic expression slid across his handsome face. "They'll be here soon. We have to go."

She rubbed her wet cheek against his and whispered, "Soon."

Hungrily clinging to one another, Angelus and Buffy chose to shut themselves from the rest of the world. The only thing that mattered was falling into one another, to become so deeply a part of the other that there was no beginning and no end.

"Harder!" she whimpered. Buffy needed to feel the strength of his thrusts shaking her small body to send her to orgasm. _I'm so close! Just a little bit more…_

In response, Angelus obeyed while digging his fingers into her hips. _She's almost there._ His fierce actions immediately inspired her to keen with overwhelming excitement.

"Yes…yes…yesss!"

The dark vampire clenched his jaw in satisfaction as his mistress reached the pinnacle of passion. Shedding his prior control, he began slamming into her repeatedly. Ensuring Buffy's release allowed him to focus on achieving the addictive release swirling inside his loins.

She in turn clutched his back and whispered sweet words on encouragement. "Come for me. I want to feel your come, Angelus." Raising her legs higher, she groaned, "Please, Master."

Those two words were all he needed to send him over the edge.

"BUFFY!" He smashed his head against the couch cushion as the emotions threatened to send him out of consciousness. _I'll never tire of her. I know I won't._

Ignorant of his thoughts, she joyfully cried out as his claws drew blood. _It feels so good. It feels so good because I know it's for me. This side of Angelus is for me._ Releasing her crushing hold, she felt her arms drop listlessly to her sides as the air rushed into her heaving lungs. Buffy stared up at the ceiling in contentment, knowing she was one step closer to Angelus loving her.

 _He believes me._

Grinding his hips against hers, greedy lest the slightest sensation be lost, Angelus found heaven. Physically and emotionally.

"You're happy," he stated while raising up on his arms.

"How do you know?"

Leaning forward, he nuzzled the site of his mark. "Because I can FEEL it."

Buffy nodded her head and answered, "I am."

"Good." He paused for a moment before repeating, "Good."

If he were a different man, she would've sworn he was nervous. However, the thought vanished the moment she looked into his eyes.

"I would have you happy with me, lover. Do you understand?"

"Yes," she replied, even though she didn't quite.

He seemed to study her for several moments before coming to a silent decision. "Buffy, I want you to leave-"

"Whoa! You're right!" She abruptly sat up, instantly pushing him out of her body. "They're going to be here! We gotta go!"

A small smile lifted the corners of his mouth briefly. "No, you're right. Let's go."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No. You were going to say something else, weren't you? And I totally interrupted you, didn't I? I'm so sorry! What were you going to say? Tell me, please?"

"Baby, we have to get out of here now. It's going to be enough of a stretch as it is with that mutant's nose."

This threw Buffy's attention completely off track. "Mutant?" _Who's he talking about?_

"Yeah, mutant."

She frowned in confusion briefly before realization dawned on her. "You mean Oz?"

"Mmm," Angelus answered with a sound of assent as he re-buttoned his pants.

"Why are you calling him a mutant?"

He flashed her a devastating grin and answered, "Because he's not a real werewolf, Baby."

Buffy's jaw dropped. "Is too!"

"No, he's not. Real werewolves don't look like him."

"What do you mean?"

"They're a hell of a lot better looking and a hell of a lot stronger. Plus, they don't go on the rampage and kill everything in their path. They're too cunning and power hungry for that."

"Cunning?"

"Your quasi-wolf has no memory of what he does when he changes, right?" Waiting for Buffy's nod, he continued. "A true werewolf doesn't lose his reasoning along with the change. He's quite in control as a wolf and a human."

She looked off in the distance, still shocked by this revelation. Following her shock came curiosity. "I don't get it. How'd he become a mutant? Is it some kind of fluke?"

"No. It was very deliberate."

"How?"

"We don't have time for this."

"Angelus, you can't just bring this up and not tell me all you know." Her brow furrowed deep in thought as she slowly murmured, "Is he some kind of genetic experiment?"

"Not him, but his kind. Yes. That strain is a result of experimentation gone wrong."

"Our government did it?"

He stood up while letting out a cynical laugh. "Nope. Something far older did that."

"When?"

He seemed reluctant to answer, but he finally did after several seconds of silence. "Centuries ago."

Buffy was floored. "No way! The technology wasn't there!"

"Lover, you don't know what you're talking about. Genetic tampering DID NOT start with this century. Now let's go."

"But I'm not finished-"

"Yes you are! I don't want to fucking talk about this anymore! Now get your ass up and let's go!"

Buffy could hear that the topic had somehow strayed to something that was a sore spot with him. _Why?_

Not waiting for her to move, Angelus grabbed her by the arm and pulled her off the couch. He immediately began adjusting her clothes with an impatient hand.

She stood there docilely, her mind whirring with all that she had just learned. "Angelus?"

"Hmm?" he murmured, dropping to his knees so he could fix her stockings.

"Did…did…something…happen to you?"

He paused in the midst of his ministrations and looked up at Buffy. The tiny cinder of rage was quickly masked, but she saw it.

"Something did, didn't it?"

Snapping her stocking in place, he smirked at the small sound of pain she let out. "Go wait in the car. I'll be there in a bit."

"But-"

Standing up he looked down, flicked her skirt, and ordered, "Not another word, Buff." Even though his voice remained soft, an unmistakable note of steel had entered in his voice.

She snapped her mouth shut, but not before she stuck her tongue out at him.

"I saw that."

Flushing guiltily, Buffy quickly asked, "But what about my shoes?"

"You don't need any." Angelus handed her the keys and said, "Now go."

She obeyed her lover without another question-however, that only lasted for a few seconds. "Wait! Where are you going?"

Buttoning his shirt, he answered, "To see Joyce."

Buffy bit her lip with indecisiveness. _I don't like him doing that, but I do want to leave with him. But it's wrong. But I can't just tell her, Hey Mom! I'm going to sleep at my tutor's. Be back tomorrow!_

"Why are you still here?" He settled his impassive gaze upon her. "Unless you don't want to go?"

Violently shaking her head, she cried, "I do! It's just…"

"Just what?" he asked while putting his black bag in order.

"I don't like you doing that to her."

Angelus zipped it shut and walked over to Buffy. Touching her cheek lightly, he committed a rare act of kindness. "It doesn't hurt her, lover. Knowing the truth, however, would. Why do you think I go through all this? Because I'm scared of her?" He laughed softly and remarked, "I do this for you. Hurting her hurts you, so I'm willing to perform whatever illusion I must to avoid that."

Buffy was so overcome with emotion she couldn't bare to look him in the eye. _I can't believe he just said that! It's one of the nicest things he's ever said to me._ Warmth wrapped its tendrils about her heart. _Could it mean he loves me? Can I take the risk of asking him?_

It was such a foreign thought to have, but not unwelcome by any means. Especially considering where they had been just two days before.

 **UPDATE: APRIL 29, 2004**

 _Without turning around, Buffy could feel HIM behind her. Her heartbeat increased, betraying her to the one who no longer meant anything in the useless scheme called her life._ _ **'No. You shouldn't be here!'**_

" _ **I can hear you, lover,"**_ _Angelus rasped, his voice sounding rusty and hoarse while an undertone of restrained madness scored each syllable._ _ **"I can hear your pretty blood calling to me."**_

 _Closing her eyes briefly, Buffy ruthlessly commanded her body to dispense all weakness._

" _ **It doesn't matter you know. It doesn't matter what you do, what you think, what you FUCKING pretend-I'm still here."**_

 _She carefully turned around and barely reined in the shock at his appearance. His hair stood up from the scalp in random clumps, no longer the perfect coif he took such pains to achieve. The clothes he usually wore with such sensual vanity were wrinkled and torn, as if subjected to a violent attack._

 _Yet, the differences didn't stop with hair and wardrobe._

 _Angelus looked paler than ever, his eyes two burning coals of hatred, his mouth a slit of rancor. Black smudges clung beneath his accusatory stare, while flecks of blood adorned his sunken cheeks._

 _While her gaze remained cool and unruffled, inside she screamed,_ _ **'Oh, my God! What have you done?'**_

" _ **What's wrong, Buff? Can't speak to me?"**_ _The dry chuckle that slipped out of his throat raked across her spine with sinister glee._ _ **"Or are you thinking about how you want to deliver me to Hell?"**_

 _Crouched on the roof, ready to spring into action at any moment, Buffy coldly replied,_ _ **"I told you last time. I meant it." 'WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!'**_

" _ **Well, well, well."**_ _Running his fevered gaze across her body, Angelus purred,_ _ **"Seems like my little girl has blossomed into her full potential. She can kill someone she loves."**_ _With careful movements he pulled open his shirt and exposed his unprotected chest._ _ **"Congrats, Baby-you're finally a killer."**_

 _Refusing to disprove Angelus' reckless challenge, Buffy bit out,_ _ **"Why are you here?"**_

" _ **Why do you think?"**_ _he shot back, the soft, cajoling note of his voice gone in a hiss of rage._

' _ **Don't do this to me. Don't force me to kill you.'**_ _A stab of misery pierced her shuttered heart at the thought of fulfilling her threat of before. Hoping to avoid the trap she had rashly set, Buffy dismissed him._

" _ **Leave."**_

" _ **What? Giving second chances?"**_ _A scornful laugh passed his dry lips._ _ **"I thought you didn't do that, lover."**_

" _ **Don't call me that,"**_ _she ordered in a tight voice._

" _ **Lover? So I'm to control every last bit of my speech then?"**_ _He dropped his head slightly, presenting her with a crimson view of sin._

 _The sight of blood sickened Buffy. It was a blaring reminder of exactly who she had taken into her body and heart._ _ **"What did you do?"**_ _she demanded without further pretense._

 _Angelus appeared confused for a moment and took no pains to hide it._

" _ **What?"**_ _The one word was drawn out._

" _ **There's blood on your mouth,"**_ _she pointed in icy accusation._ _ **"Who did you kill?"**_

" _ **Kill? Kill?"**_ _He closed his eyes and a tick of agitation erupted in his cheek._ _ **"Kill. Kill. Kill."**_ _Angelus continued to repeat the one word over and over again. Insanity, bewilderment, and doubt flitted across his face as he feverishly murmured,_ _ **"Kill. Kill. Kill."**_

 _Buffy dug her nails into her palms as the urge to cry suddenly threatened to overwhelm her._ _ **'Oh, my God. This can't be. Oh, Jesus. You did it, didn't you? You killed someone. You killed a human.'**_

" _ **Kill. Kill. Kill."**_

 _Crouched in front of the vampire who she loved so fiercely, Buffy felt as if her whole world was unraveling._ _ **'I can't let this pass. I won't let this pass.'**_

" _ **Kill. Kill. Kill."**_

 _She bit the inside of her cheek, easily slicing through the delicate tissues with blunted teeth. The coppery taste of blood flowed down her throat and made her stomach roil in nausea._

" _ **Kill. Kill. Kill."**_

 _Buffy couldn't take the disturbing cadence of his words any longer. In a motion too quick to detect with human eyes, her hand shot out and slapped Angelus across the mouth._

" _ **Stop it!"**_

 _He instantly drew back in shock. Gingerly touching his lips, he plaintively asked,_ _ **"Why did you do that?"**_

 _Too consumed with her own volatile emotions to notice the child-like question, she growled,_ _ **"What did you DO?"**_

" _ **Nothing that you care about,"**_ _was his sullen reply._

" _ **Like hell! Did you kill someone?"**_ _Waiting for the answer that would destroy her, Buffy thought,_ _ **'Please don't be this much of monster. Please.'**_

" _ **Yes."**_ _His hand still hovered about his mouth, although the pain could only be a phantom one by now._

 _She collapsed against the window ledge as all strength left her body. Too numb for tears, she bled her grief silently._ _ **"What's wrong with you, Angelus?"**_ _she whispered._ _ **"What the hell is wrong with you?"**_

 _Dropping his hand onto the roof in a heavy gesture, a look of betrayal transformed his still-handsome features._ _ **"YOU are what's wrong with me. YOU!"**_ _Not giving her a chance to respond, the vampire bit out,_ _ **"You've done something to me. I know you have!"**_

" _ **No…"**_

" _ **Yes! Tonight I've killed because of you. I've MURDERED because of you!"**_ _His voice dropped into a hoarse declaration._ _ **"You're nothing but a worthless human. Easily replaceable."**_

 _Closing her eyes, Buffy dropped her head into her knees._ _ **'Oh, Jesus. I should've known. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid! Why didn't I think? Why didn't I think about him taking out his anger on innocents? He's the Scourge for fuck's sake!'**_

" _ **But I won't give you up. Stupid and worthless as you are, you belong to me and I WON'T give you up!"**_

 _She felt the nausea roil in her gut as bitter tears threatened to escape from their tightly closed prison._ _ **'I can't forgive this. I can't blindly turn my head to him murdering people. They didn't deserve to die. There's only one thing left for me to do.'**_

 _Angelus leaned closer and muttered,_ _ **"Do you understand what I've done? Do you?"**_

 _Buffy took a deep breath and looked up at him._ _ **"No, my question is do you understand? Do you know what you've just forced me to do?"**_

 _A brittle laugh hissed past his tightly closed lips._ _ **"I know about force. I know about your power, lover. I can't feed, I can't rest, I can't THINK and it's all your fault."**_

 _A crack in Buffy's armor formed while a sense of injustice bubbled within._ _ **"MY fault?"**_ _She slammed her hand against the roof in anger._ _ **"How was anything that happened between us MY fault?" 'Damn you! You're the one who killed! You're the one who wished me dead! You're the one who broke my heart with those words!'**_

" _ **Because it is!"**_ _A tortured look captured his features, making Buffy wince with an undefined emotion._ _ **"Didn't I give you everything you wanted? Didn't I buy you whatever you liked? Whenever the burden of slaying became too much, didn't I take you away from this world? Didn't I?"**_

 _Reluctantly she nodded._ _ **'And I would've followed you to the end of the world. Not because of what you could buy me, but because I wanted to be with you. Right or wrong, I only wanted you. But now it's different.'**_

" _ **Then why this? Why are you turning away from me?"**_ _Darkness overtook his expression as he whispered,_ _ **"Do you not love me anymore?"**_

 _Buffy glanced away from his face._ _ **"Don't be like this,"**_ _she answered in a low voice._ _ **'I don't think I'm strong enough to lie. I'm barely strong enough for this.'**_

" _ **Why not? Is it because I'm right?"**_ _His aura dangerously shifted along with his face._ _ **"Do you have someone else you fucking bitch?"**_

 _Her head whipped back._ _ **"I'm not a bitch, you asshole!"**_ _Driven by needs she refused to contemplate, Buffy honestly answered in a gruff voice,_ _ **"And no I don't have anyone else. Jerk."**_

" _ **Then why won't you come to me?"**_ _he growled._

 _Unable to maintain eye contact with his fierce countenance, she fixed her stare onto a near-by tree._ _ **"Because there are certain things that can't be undone." 'And certain things that can't be forgiven.'**_

" _ **What the hell does that mean?"**_

" _ **You're not that dense!"**_ _she cried, her eyes narrowed in hurt rage._ _ **"What you said to me…"**_ _Her voice trailed off as she remembered his casual malice of before and his casual ignorance of now._ _ **"Those were the cruelest words you could've ever spoken to me. The cruelest."**_

" _ **Why?"**_

" _ **You killed, Angelus. You killed."**_

 _The sound of small pebbles being crushed echoed in the night air as he shifted his feet._ _ **"I didn't kill,"**_ _he murmured._ _ **"I murdered, Buff. I murdered."**_

 _This time tears rolled down her cheeks as the hopelessness of the situation became real._ _ **"Why, Angelus?"**_ _Her voice rose in frustrated helplessness._ _ **"If you know it's wrong, WHY?"**_

" _ **Because I had to."**_ _Dropping his head, he traced absent patterns on the dark shingles with one finger._ _ **"I had to."**_

" _ **Because of me?"**_

" _ **Yes."**_

 _Several minutes of silence elapsed. Buffy bit her lips to still her sobbing, but the grief lay heavy to the taste._

 _Angelus looked up, noticing her tears._ _ **"Don't cry, Baby,"**_ _he smiled, flashing a dangerous mouth full of fangs._ _ **"No one knows yet. I covered my tracks and no one knows."**_

' _ **I KNOW!'**_ _she screamed silently._ _ **'I know and it kills me! Don't you understand?'**_

 _The smile disappeared and his face fell._ _ **"But they will,"**_ _he solemnly declared._ _ **"They will."**_

" _ **I can't let this pass. You know that, right?"**_

 _Angelus appeared to mull over her brittle question. However, his response indicated otherwise._ _ **"This is your fault,"**_ _he boldly declared._ _ **"If you were dead, I wouldn't be suffering this."**_

 _A gush of pained air escaped Buffy's lungs. Closing her eyes, she mumbled,_ _ **"That's why you said what you did, isn't it? You hate me so much, don't you?"**_

" _ **Ah, fuck. That again? It's not like you actually had a prophecy, Buff. Get over it."**_ _Angelus delivered his command with a familiar arrogance that made her grit her teeth._

' _ **I should just tell him. If anything, just to wipe that smug look off his face.'**_ _However, Buffy knew she wouldn't. Maybe it was her pride or maybe just stupidity, but she knew it was her heart who begged for silence._ _ **'I know I wouldn't be able to bear it. If I tell him and he laughs or says more of the same, I'll explode. My heart will just explode and I'll die.'**_

" _ **And even if you did, you would've told me just to try to make me feel bad. As if that was possible."**_

 _Buffy took in one deep breath and let it out slowly._ _ **"Yeah."**_

" _ **So what difference does my words make, right?"**_

" _ **Right."**_

" _ **Besides, you're tougher than that."**_

" _ **Sure."**_

" _ **Are we done now?"**_ _Angelus face returned to human and a pleased smile lifted the corner of his mouth in a familiar smirk._

" _ **Yes,"**_ _she whispered._ _ **'He'll never change. He doesn't know how. He doesn't understand the human heart. He only knows how to break it. Now, I only have one choice left.'**_

" _ **Good."**_ _He leaned close to nuzzle her mouth._ _ **"Let me in, darling,"**_ _he sighed in longing._ _ **"I've missed your taste."**_

 _Buffy's hand whipped up and held him by the neck. Ignoring the rage and confusion contorting his features, she coldly stated,_ _ **"We ARE done. I thought I made it clear when I left, ignored you, returned your phone, and fired you as my tutor."**_ _When Angelus began pulling back, her hand tightened._ _ **"But apparently you're slow. There is no us. I'm not your lover anymore."**_

 _For the first time since their twisted interaction had begun, she could feel all the emotions that made her human disappear. It fled to the place inside where all her ugliness lay to be locked away._

 _Standing up, Buffy looked down at Angelus from her petite height and commanded,_ _ **"Run."**_

 _A look of wariness flashed once in his dark eyes._ _ **"I don't understand."**_

 _Pulling out a stake, she held up in the air. Inside, a part of her escaped from her soulless box and screamed in agony._ _ **'No! You can't do this!'**_

" _ **Are you going to stake me?"**_ _Angelus' face was remote, his eyes hooded and distant._

 _Her fist tightened about her weapon._

 _A scornful laugh filled with mockery hung in the dangerous silence._ _ **"You're giving into your own darkness, the darkness that's been there all along. Go ahead, Buff. Put me out of my fucking misery."**_

 _All the rage returned to slam Buffy inside and out._ _ **'It's not fair! It's not fair that I have to do this again, God! You already took Angel away from me! Why do I have to lose him too?'**_

" _ **Oh, Buffy, Buffy, Buffy,"**_ _he sighed with an unmistakable tone of sadness._ _ **"You are more like me than ever."**_

' _ **No, I'm not.'**_ _She narrowed her eyes and gritted out,_ _ **"I should stake you right here, but…"**_

" _ **But what?"**_ _His voice was filled with old defiance, the edge of misery and madness gone._

 _Lowering her arm, she softly stated,_ _ **"I'm not going to. I'm giving you the chance you didn't give your victim. Get out of Sunnydale."**_

 _Angelus stood up carefully, keeping his gaze fixed on her face._ _ **"Never. I'm not leaving. At least not without you."**_

 _Her guise of control evaporated as her lower lip began to tremble._ _ **"Then you're giving me no choice!"**_

" _ **You always have a choice, Buff. You always did."**_ _A smile of predatory intent curled his mouth._ _ **"And so do I. But if you're itching for a fight, then by all means. Let's go."**_

 _Without another word, Angelus leaped onto the lawn and took off running._

 _Buffy's shoulders slumped in despair._ _ **'You said I have a choice. What choice now?'**_ _She stared into the quiet darkness and felt the unwelcome burden of duty settle itself on her spirit. Following his lead, she landed on the damp grass and pursued her prey._

 _In spite of the minutes that passed between both predators, Buffy was able to find Angelus rather quickly._ _ **'He left me a trail.'**_

 _What she didn't notice was the still forms of her friends standing just a few yards away._

 _What she never even suspected was that they saw Angelus come into the cemetery._

 _And it was this lapse that threw destiny into another lock with human tenacity._

"You're still here," Angelus murmured, pointing out the obvious.

Buffy's eyes were large with confusion and guilt. _Even if it means he might grow to love me, I don't like this. I don't like the lies. I don't like it at all. I don't like hurting my mom. But what's worse? Lying to her or letting her find out that I'm with Angelus?_

"The longer you wait, the harder it will be."

"I know," she whispered. "But…" Buffy's voice trailed off, her meekness angering her before it subsided. _This is how it is for us. I understand that now better than ever._

Sensing his mistress' internal struggle, Angelus approached her tiny form and brushed his lips across her temple in an uncharacteristically sweet gesture. "Just accept it, lover. In order for us to have our life together, there are unsavory things that must be done."

Buffy reached out and clutched him tightly to her, suddenly afraid.

"Remember this: I won't hurt her. You know that, right?"

"Yes, Angelus," she replied quietly while burying her face against his chest.

"Can you trust me on this?" he asked softly, almost kindly, while stroking her back.

And it was that whisper of near benevolence that swayed Buffy to his will. She slowly nodded her head, irrationally not wanting to let him go. _Love. I do this for love. He'll love me one day, I know he will. And it makes me happy. Mom wants me to be happy, I know she does._

Angelus carefully pulled Buffy away, unaware of her thoughts. "Go to the car, Buff. I'll be out in a few seconds." His last words held more than just the one meaning. With a gentle push, Angelus brusquely commanded, "Go."

Silently walking to the door, Buffy's heart hurt with the knowledge that she was willing to do anything to be with him. Anything. Even go so far as to allow her lover to implant memories that weren't real into the woman who gave her the ability to live this lie.

Once again, she silently repeated the mantra, which served to justify her existence. _I'm sorry, but I need him. I NEED him._ Buffy was unsure just who she was justifying herself to, however, the ensuing silence in her mind held the singular reply of condemnation. Frowning slightly, she turned the knob and continued her line of defensive thinking. _If Mom finds out what I'm doing with my 'tutor', it'll hurt her more. So it's better this way. Even if she would want me happy, she won't understand this._

Closing the door to the sin being committed inside, Buffy whispered, "It's better this way."

Yet, her words held no comfort and rang false in the company of introspection.

Until she remembered Angelus gentleness.

Eager to obey her lover, she walked at a brisk pace to the black SUV. Disengaging the alarm, she quickly slid into the cool interior and waited for him. True to his word, Angelus left the house within a minute. Opening up the door, he reached for the offered keys and was soon backing out of the driveway.

And apparently not a minute too soon.

Driving in the opposite direction, they both could see Oz's van pull up.

"Close call huh, lover?" Angelus murmured while resting his hand lightly on Buffy's leg.

She nodded her head while keeping her gaze trained on the large vehicle until it disappeared from sight. Only then did she ask the obvious.

"What will my mom say?"

"Only that you weren't feeling so well and decided to lay down. And also that it's too late to have visitors."

"They'll know it's a lie."

"They will, but it won't matter. Wolf and Red will still have to do what they're told."

Buffy's reply was a small sound that could either be assent or not. _I'll have to come up with another lie tomorrow. And probably another one after that. And after that._

Following all traffic laws, Angelus came to a complete stop at the stop sign before putting the SUV in park and turning to look at her. Staring at her troubled profile for several seconds, he quietly ordered, "Look at me."

Buffy immediately obeyed her vampire. Seeing the coldness in his gaze recede slightly, she felt hers fill with damnable tears. Without warning, she flung herself against his solid strength and started crying noisily.

"I-I'm sorry…I h-hate being s-so weak! It's j-just that I'm t-tired of a-all the lies. I'm tired o-of always b-being so…so…so…argh!" Giving out a loud shriek of frustration, Buffy gripped his shirt and pressed her face against his neck. "I c-can hardly t-tell w-who I am! One m-minute I'm h-happy, the next I-I'm so filled with g-guilt I can b-barely hold my s-self-hatred in. I d-don't understand w-why I-I feel l-like this!"

Pulling away from him, Buffy brought her clenched fists up to her eyes and wailed, "I hate m-myself! I h-hate who I am! Sometimes I-I w-w-wish I'd n-never became the S-Slayer! Sometimes I w-wish I'd never been born!"

Up until her last statement, Angelus had been as comforting as he was capable of being. However, his goodwill apparently had run its course. With an unfaltering hand, he pulled her arm down before delivering a hard slap.

"O-O-OWWW!"

His black gaze remained impenetrable beneath her accusatory glare. Keeping his sight steady with hers, he waited until it faded into wretched grief. Before her face crumpled with more emotional pain, Angelus spoke.

"Wishing for the impossible is a waste of time, lover. You WERE born, you ARE the Slayer, and you HAVE to lie. If it wasn't about our fucking, it'd be about something else. Either way, you're always going to have to lie about something."

"No-"

"YES!" Angelus broke in hotly. "Just as you work for the side of the light, you have to obey the laws of the dark. Lying is just one aspect. Just keeping your silence about who you are feeds the beast, Buff. Not allowing the truth about ghoulies to become public knowledge is another meal. You will always have to lie, always."

Seeing her breathing settle into a manageable state, Angelus' voice lost some of its vicious coldness.

"You're not going to survive if you can't accept that, Buffy. You have to accept the choices you make and keep going."

"But-"

"No buts!" he barked. Immediately his tone softened once more. "What's driving you mad is the constant self-doubt. Am I right?" Angelus waited until she nodded her head. Reaching out with one hand, he smoothed her hair back. "You couldn't have acted any other way than you did, lover. I wouldn't have let you. I wanted you more than anything on this planet and I WAS NOT going to be denied."

"They'll never understand," Buffy whispered sadly.

"So what?" Angelus replied bluntly. "No one's asking them to. Besides, those brats don't need to know. Ever."

A ghost of a smile passed across her lips. "Eventually it'll come crashing down. You know that, don't you?"

"Says who? You?" A derisive snort echoed in the small confines of the vehicle. "Sweetie, I've been alive much longer than you and I've behind intrigues much more complex than this one. Those fools only see what they want to. They'll never know what we've been doing, so let it drop."

Buffy wiped her nose and cheeks before releasing a shuddering breath. Glancing at the side mirror, she noticed a car waiting behind them. "Angelus, there's someone waiting for us to go."

"So what? Let them wait."

She let out a watery chuckle of exasperation. "You're not king of the road, Angelus. Let's go."

He shook his head briefly.

"Not until you're better."

Buffy sniffed loudly, feeling acutely embarrassed. "I'm sorry," she parted sweetly.

"You can't live your life by trying to make everyone else happy-except me, Baby."

Without another word, she leaned over and brought his head down to hers. Feeling his lips part beneath hers, Buffy moaned softly with pleasure. After a few seconds she released his mouth and rested her temple against his chin. "Since when are you so nice to me?" she asked with spunk.

"Who says I'm nice?" he replied sourly. "Because I'm not."

Giving Angelus a quick peck on the cheek, Buffy settled herself back in her seat. "I know." _But you are, sometimes._

"Don't get all soft on me now, Slayer," the vampire warned with dark amusement as he put the vehicle in drive. "You know how I like you eager and willing to fucked. That's all. Consider this a one-time deal. Next time you feel all weepy and need of counseling, call a hot-line."

Buffy bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. Maybe she was believing what she wanted to believe. Maybe she was just being a fool. Maybe. But somehow Angelus ended up giving her the comfort she needed. It was so odd considering it was such a major role reversal from the other night.

 _Striding past the well-oiled gates, Buffy found him waiting near a statue of a weeping angel._

" _ **Rather fitting, ain't it?"**_ _Angelus murmured, gesturing to the concrete monument of mourning._

 _Stopping several yards away, she could feel her body tense up. A tug of otherworldly resistance flared inside, reminding Buffy of just how long it had been since they had squared off like this._

' _ **How did I end up like this?'**_

 _A sense of unreality clouded her stark vision, as if she were not about to attempt to kill the man she loved above all others._

" _ **You need to blow off some steam, Baby. Is that it?"**_

' _ **No. I'm here to kill you.'**_ _Buffy's eyes betrayed her, mourning the agony her duty would not allow her to speak. There was no way for her to back out of the trap Honor had laid._ _ **'But why now?'**_ _her soul demanded._ _ **'Why not before when he wasn't even in your heart? Who knows what he did, but you let him walk. You couldn't kill him. So why can you do it now? WHY?!'**_

 _Her silence, for once, seemed to unnerve him._ _ **"You not talking to me anymore?"**_ _A smirk of disgust darkened his features._

 _She ignored his gruff question, finding there was going to be no way for her to speak without screaming out her bitter grief._ _ **'It's not fair! It's not fair! Why couldn't he lie?'**_ _Immediately, Buffy burned with guilt. How could she even think like that?_

' _ **You knew it was going to end in death,'**_ _she reminded herself grimly._ _ **'Only this time, it's not yours.'**_

 _Still her logic failed to soothe the unbearable emptiness poised to consume her. Waiting for their match to begin, Buffy wondered with sick fascination if the bond would keep her from fighting him. As cowardly as it was, she knew a large part of her hoped so._

 _Angelus' eyes winced imperceptibly._ _ **"Such pain I'm feeling and it's all yours. Why do you cry on the inside, little girl?"**_

 _Buffy forced her gaze to remain locked with his._

" _ **Because I'm not a monster."**_

 _He sagely nodded his head and returned,_ _ **"Not like me, right?"**_ _Without waiting for an answer he swiftly asked,_ _ **"Do you love me?"**_

 _Angelus' whisper reached her ears, softly demanding an answer which no longer had meaning. Buffy kept his tormented gaze and spoke the first word that came to mind._

" _ **No."**_

 _The vampire froze with black shock and putrid disbelief._ _ **"What do you mean 'no'?"**_ _he croaked while seemingly drawing further into himself._

" _ **I don't feel anything for you,"**_ _she coldly stated, wishing there was even the smallest possibility of it being true._ _ **'I love you so much I'm dying from it.'**_

" _ **You're lying!"**_ _Angelus spat._

 _Buffy could hear a growl steadily grow in tandem to her purposeful silence._ _ **'Lie to him and make it easier.'**_ _However, her heart twisted until she could barely breathe._

" _ **You're saying that to harm me, aren't you?"**_ _A manic chuckle split the night air, sending the fine hairs on her neck to attention._ _ **"Don't you understand, Buff?"**_ _he asked in a mocking voice full with loathing._ _ **"You can't hurt me. You can madden me to the point of insanity, but you CAN'T hurt me."**_

 _Angelus pushed away from his place of toxic leisure and strolled over to his rigid mistress._

" _ **Do you love me?"**_ _he asked with exquisite sweetness._

" _ **No."**_

" _ **Wrong answer."**_ _The unbalanced rage was fading, only to be replaced by something far more deadly._ _ **"Do you love me?"**_

" _ **No."**_

" _ **Maybe if you tell me the truth I won't draw blood."**_

 _Buffy's hands betrayed her as they crept down to the ever-present stakes hidden within her clothing._

 _Seeing her actions, he dismissed them with an evil smirk._ _ **"Or better yet-if I kill you, maybe we'll both feel better. Would you like that, sweetheart? Would you like me to make it better?"**_

" _ **For who?"**_ _she taunted boldly. And then she sunk the knife even further._ _ **"But maybe you're right. Because I'm ready to move on and you're taking up WAY too much of my time."**_

" _ **Bitch!"**_ _Without another word, Angelus rushed forward to knock her down and ended up eating dirt._

 _Buffy automatically kept her balance centered on the balls of her feet, ready to deftly avoid contact with the enraged vampire lusting for her blood. Sidestepping his clumsily executed attack, she distantly wondered why his moves lacked the grace he inherently moved with._

 _Her lapse in concentration cost her._

 _Angelus' fist connected with her mouth, immediately drawing a trickle of blood before his hand wrapped itself around her throat._ _ **"I hate you, do you hear me, Bitch?"**_ _he hissed while lifting Buffy off the ground._ _ **"I hate the mess you've made of me! I'm going to lose everything because of you! Do you hear me? Do you even fucking understand?"**_

 _In response, she twisted her neck, brought her arm up, and drove her elbow into the crook of his arm, immediately releasing his hold. Landing on her feet gracefully, Buffy's leg shot out towards his knee, only to have Angelus capture her calf and twist it unmercifully. Biting back her shriek of pain, she heard him growl,_ _ **"I know your tricks, Whore. You're not dislocating my knee again."**_

 _With a disdainful grunt, he threw her to the ground and began pacing about her downed figure._ _ **"I hate you. I fucking hate you so much."**_ _Raking his hand through his hair, he began listing all of Buffy's faults._ _ **"You're such a mouse. You're always looking at me with those judgmental eyes of yours and you know what? It makes me fucking sick."**_

 _In full fury, Angelus watched as Buffy quickly gained her feet._ _ **"If you're not scurrying around, you're always whining and moaning about how life is so hard for you. 'Oh, poor me! I don't get to have a normal life. I'm so burdened.'"**_

 _Buffy kept her face expressionless, but his angry words hurt her._ _ **'I can't help the way I feel! I didn't ask for this calling. I'm still trying to make sense of it on my own!'**_

" _ **Well, you know what? Fuck that, Miss Summers. You sleep with a full belly every night, you have a place to sleep that's warm, and you have companions. You barely wear the same clothes twice and whenever you want something, there's always someone there to buy it for you. How the hell are you burdened? You're not. You're a spoiled, privileged bitch!"**_

 _Finally Buffy spoke._

" _ **You done yet?"**_ _she managed to murmur in her most lofty tone, despite the fact her feelings were bleeding with raw pride._

" _ **Hardly."**_ _Circling her, he hissed,_ _ **"Even knowing that, I'm still willing to take you on. Even though you're an annoying bit of fluff, I'm still willing to have you."**_ _The rancor on his face disappeared._ _ **"Do you love me?"**_

 _Ignoring the jump in her heart, Buffy steadfastly answered,_ _ **"No."**_

 _Angelus let out an inarticulate cry of rage._ _ **"You're LYING!"**_ _Clenching his fists, he approached her with an unsteady gait._ _ **"That's NOT true!"**_

 _Leaping away from his lumbering swings, Buffy ducked behind the angel statue before it disintegrated._

" _ **Come back here, Buff! NOW!"**_

 _She wisely ignored him, refusing to admit how frightened she was by Angelus' lack of control. However, instead of going on the offense, she was firmly on defense. Soon his inept movements evolved with near-deadly precision._

" _ **Beg me!"**_ _Angelus irrationally demanded while missing her head by a few millimeters._ _ **"Beg me and I'll forgive your lies."**_

 _Dodging the roundhouse kick which would've shattered her jaw, Buffy shouted,_ _ **"You should be begging me!"**_ _Warily circling him, she clarified,_ _ **"Better yet, you should be begging the poor soul you killed tonight!"**_

 _The vampire's response was a manic chuckle._ _ **"You're funny, lover."**_ _Immediately his head snapped back as she landed a fierce punch on his nose. The sound of bone crunching was unmistakable in the tense silence of the night._

" _ **That's what's wrong with you, lover,"**_ _she hissed as she brought her knee up to his unprotected stomach._ _ **"You're nothing but a murdering animal."**_ _Buffy instantly drove her forearm against the back of his neck and forced Angelus down._

" _ **So? I'd do it again,"**_ _he declared as his leg shot out and nearly swept Buffy off her feet._ _ **"I'd do it a thousand times."**_ _Finding his stance, he smiled cruelly. He kept his black gaze fixated on hers as he reached up and rubbed a claw against the stain marring his pale skin._ _ **"A thousand times, Darling. A thousand."**_

 _Fighting the strange exhaustion running through her body, Buffy dragged in several gulps of air. Her eyes stayed with his and she despised the lack of remorse on his sinful face. Moreover, she despised the weakness inside begging for another chance._ _ **'I feel so trapped. I thought I was going to be strong enough to do this, but I'm not. I can't kill him. I can't.'**_

" _ **Why do you play these games? Is it to make me suffer?"**_ _Angelus' voice was strangely soft, with hints of mourning layered subtly within. Even though his fists were swiping through the air, their goal intent on damage._

 _Buffy found it harder and harder to avoid his blows, yet she still couldn't make the move to steadily fight back._ _ **'It's because I don't know what to do! I don't know!'**_

" _ **If I have to suffer, so do you!"**_ _With that statement, Angelus caught hold of Buffy's shirt and drove her back against the unforgiving cement surface of a crypt._

 _She bit her lip to hold back her cry of pain, only to find his face mere inches away from hers._ _ **"F-Forgive me,"**_ _Angelus shakily ordered in a near-whisper, the words seeming to struggle just to escape his throat._ _ **"Whatever you need to do, tell me. Just…just…forgive…me."**_

" _ **I can't,"**_ _Buffy replied tightly although it was what she wanted to do desperately._

 _Pulling her forward, he slammed her against the wall again._ _ **"Yes, you can!"**_ _he roared._

" _ **Don't you think I want to?"**_ _she painfully cried, even though the pain was in her heart and not on the scraped skin on her back._ _ **"But it's not that simple anymore!"**_

 _Angelus rested his head against hers and wearily admitted,_ _ **"I'm breaking down and I don't know how to stop."**_

 _Buffy's hazel eyes darkened with agony._ _ **"It's not about me anymore, Angelus."**_

" _ **Yes, it is,"**_ _he tiredly disagreed._ _ **"It's always been about you. It always will."**_

" _ **You killed someone tonight, Angelus."**_ _She looked down briefly, wanting to cry but not allowing herself the luxury of weakness._ _ **"I can't, no, I WON'T let that pass."**_

 _A storm of confusion swirled violently in his expression. His fists tightened, bringing Buffy up on her toes._

" _ **It's about them?"**_

" _ **What THEM? You mean there was more than one?"**_ _Her stomach dropped as her eyes quickly closed with regret._

" _ **I don't get this, lover. You spurned me because of what I said then, not what I did tonight."**_ _Angelus' face contorted with loathing._ _ **"They deserved to die and I'm glad I drained those bastards of every last drop."**_

 _Unable to hear his vicious indifference to her feelings any longer, Buffy drove her head against his chin, briefly loosening his hold. Digging her fists into his sides repeatedly, she didn't stop until his hands dropped._

 _Grabbing hold of his arm, she reversed their position by throwing him against the pitted wall._ _ **"They didn't deserve to die! No one deserves to die by you, Angelus! No one!"**_

 _His eyes flashed golden as he heatedly returned,_ _ **"So I should've let them put a bullet in Joyce's brain before they fire-bombed your house, is that it?"**_

 _Buffy's grip immediately went numb as the revelation went through her._ _ **'Did I misjudge him so badly?' "Who did you kill?"**_

 _Angelus' answer was brutal. The flat of his hand hit her throat with enough force to crush the windpipe before knocking her to the ground. Following Buffy, he held himself above her on his arms. He smiled once before icy lines of rage settled themselves about his mouth._

 _Meanwhile, Buffy felt the agony of regeneration take its toll on her shattered tissue. Attempting to roll on her side, she felt him dispassionately push her down._

 _Weakly she tried to force sound out of her mouth, only to make pitiful gurgling noises. However, as sick as it was, Buffy's tormented mind focused not on his brutal abuse, but the hope that she had been given a reprieve._ _ **'Please. Please. Please.'**_

 _Not completely unaware of the turmoil roiling in her mind, Angelus furiously reproached her with a menacing growl._ _ **"If you thought I killed a damned human, you should've fucking come out and asked me. Instead, you just pinned that shit on me without even knowing for sure."**_ _Angelus clenched his jaw and spit out,_ _ **"That's BULLSHIT, Buffy!"**_

 _Drawing his fist up, he drove it into the ground beside her head._ _ **"Tonight was going to be your night, lover. My vampire emissaries of Death would've put you in the ground, or they would've at least figuratively because I'm not sure if there would've been much of you left. And there wasn't shit you could do about it."**_ _Bringing his head closer, the light of mania glittered in his dark eyes._ _ **"But I wasn't going to let that go down. So I don't care what happens tomorrow because tonight I won."**_

 _Buffy's mind was a mass of disjointed thoughts stained with shock._ _ **'Oh, my God. Did he really save my life? How did he know? If he did this for me…Mom! Was someone really going to hurt her? How come I didn't know?'**_

" _ **Mom!"**_ _she cried with a healed throat as she sought to sit up._

 _Angelus firmly held her down._

" _ **No one is going to hurt her."**_

" _ **How do you know?"**_ _she hoarsely shrieked as she struggled for freedom._ _ **"I have to make sure!"**_

" _ **Not until we're done!"**_

" _ **I need to get to her!"**_

" _ **No one is going to hurt her,"**_ _Angelus firmly repeated in a strained whisper._ _ **"I've made sure of it."**_

 _Buffy swallowed gingerly, before rasping,_ _ **"Are you lying?"**_

 _Angelus drew back, completely offended._ _ **"Are you mad, woman? I don't have to lie to you!"**_

 _Tears filled her eyes as her brittle defenses began to erode._ _ **"Angelus,"**_ _she whispered in an aching voice._ _ **'I believe him. He's telling me the truth.'**_

 _Almost as if he saw her softening, Angelus lifted her head and pressed his mouth against hers._

" _ **You love me! I know you do!"**_

 _Buffy's moan could've been interpreted as distress, but the jump in her pulse told Angelus what he needed._ _ **"You're mine!"**_ _he abruptly shouted as his face shifted._ _ **"Mine! I'm not going to let you walk away from me, do you understand me, you stubborn whore?"**_ _Without waiting for an answer, Angelus brought his head closer when a covert movement caught his attention._

 _Alertly looking over his shoulder, he was prepared to defend his position when a makeshift cross was shoved in his face by a pale yet determined Xander._

" _ **Get off of her, vamp!"**_ _the youth grimly ordered, his eyes darting back and forth between his fallen friend and the dangerous creature crouched over her._

" _ **Go home, pup,"**_ _Angelus warned in an icy voice filled with barely leashed fury._ _ **"This is none of your business. Go find someone else to play hero with."**_

 _Pressing the cross closer, Xander held up his stake with a hand that barely trembled._

" _ **Shut-up! Unlike Buffy, I'll have NO PROBLEMS doing it-so back off!"**_

 _Quickly glancing down at his mistress, the vampire set his jaw and hissed,_ _ **"Not likely."**_

 _Buffy suddenly sat up and threw Angelus off of her. Willow immediately knelt by her side, ready to provide comfort and support if needed. Buffy's eyes held his and the plea did not go unnoticed by him. With a sneer and a smirk, Angelus dusted himself off._

" _ **Later, Buff."**_

 _The trio stared at his menacing figure until it disappeared into the shadows. Xander then released a shaky sigh of relief as he collapsed to his knees._ _ **"God,"**_ _was all he managed to say as the sweat began pouring down his face._

 _Willow hesitantly touched Buffy's shoulder._

" _ **Umm, are you…are you alright?"**_

 _Buffy slowly turned to come face-to-face with liquid eyes filled with concern and pity._

" _ **We, uh, saw what Angel…I mean, Angelus, did to your, umm, throat. Do you need to go to the hospital?"**_

 _She shook her head slowly, unable to mouth even one word._ _ **'They were here. Did they see everything? What am I going to say? What about Angelus? '**_

" _ **That low-life blood-sucker!"**_ _Xander spat as he gained his footing. "Ding-dong, his mind is gone, you know what I mean? I can't believe the nerve Dead-Boy has. He's lucky Buffy didn't shove a stake up his butt. Psycho."_

" _Xander!" Willow cried in reproach._

" _ **What? It's the truth,"**_ _he replied unrepentantly._

" _ **You haven't asked how she's doing,"**_ _the redhead pointed out with quiet censure._

" _ **Huh?"**_ _Remembering that perhaps the Slayer wasn't an immortal drew an embarrassed frown to Xander's mouth._ _ **"Sorry I got riled up like that."**_ _He squatted down and softly asked in concern,_ _ **"You okay?"**_

 _She once again nodded her head as she drew her legs up. The unrelenting decision to keep Angelus out of her life crumbled away as she thought of what he had done for her._

 _Staring at her with growing worry, Xander squatted._ _ **"Buffster? Hey, Buffy?"**_ _glanced at the other girl._ _ **"Maybe she can't talk, Will. I think we need to-"**_

" _ **No,"**_ _Buffy said with finality._ _ **"I don't need to go to the hospital." 'I need to get out of here. I need to see him. What am I thinking? I've been able to survive all this time without him. How can I go back? I need time to think. I need to be alone.'**_

 _Willow didn't feel confident with her decision._ _ **"But-"**_

" _ **It's fine, Will."**_

" _ **Well, we need to let Giles know about this tonight,"**_ _Xander emphatically stated._

 _Raising her determined gaze to his, Buffy evenly replied,_ _ **"No."**_

 _A look of astonishment flitted across his face before it disappeared beneath a glower._ _ **"What do you mean?"**_

" _ **I mean I'll tell him, Xander."**_

" _ **Why just you?"**_ _he asked suspiciously._

" _ **Because it's my business and I said so." 'Just go away, guys. Please.'**_

 _Hoping to avert an argument between the friends, Willow murmured,_ _ **"I can't believe he did this to you, Buffy."**_ _Unfortunately, she picked the worst subject to switch the focus to._

" _ **What's there to believe, Willow?"**_ _the irritated male fumed._ _ **"Buffy said it right: he IS an animal. A dirty, disgusting, sack of…of…animal."**_

" _ **How long were you there?"**_ _Buffy asked woodenly._

" _ **From the beginning,"**_ _the other girl answered softly._

" _ **Shit!"**_ _she muttered in disgust._ _ **'I should've known they were there.'**_ _Pushing herself up, Buffy trembled with the emotions fighting for control._ _ **"Why did you come in here?"**_ _she demanded harshly, unable to hold in the resentment seething from having to listen to Xander's insults._

 _Both teens were taken aback from their friend's uncharacteristic tone._ _ **"We didn't want you to be alone with him,"**_ _Xander tightly explained._

" _ **Did it ever occur to you that you could've distracted me and ended up getting yourselves killed in the process?"**_

" _ **Buffy,"**_ _Willow whispered in a hurt voice._

 _Remorse instantly washed over Buffy in suffocating waves. Shaking her head, she numbly apologized._ _ **"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, guys. I'm just…"**_ _She abruptly broke off and released a shuddering breath._ _ **"It's not you…"**_ _Looking up at the sky, she felt the humiliating tears cloud her vision. Buffy remained silent for several seconds before gathering control of herself._ _ **"Just go home." 'What should I do? Should I go to him or just let things go?'**_

" _ **What? No way!"**_ _Xander roughly replied._

 _Seeking to soften her friend's answer, but wanting to express her similar sentiments, Willow added,_ _ **"You really shouldn't be alone right now."**_

" _ **And why not?"**_ _the Slayer quietly asked._ _ **"If you both stay with me, am I going to feel less lonely?"**_

 _Both friends were at a loss for what to say and it was obvious to Buffy._

" _ **Do either of you have any clue about what I'm feeling right now?"**_ _The silence was answer enough._ _ **"No, you don't. Neither of you have ever had a stranger standing in place of the person you loved. Neither of you have ever been ordered to murder the person you love. So no matter how good your intentions are, there isn't anything you can say to make me feel better."**_

" _ **Love?"**_ _Xander slowly asked in disbelief._ _ **"Did you just say the word 'love' in present tense?"**_

 _Buffy glanced down and fought the blind rage pulsating through every vein in her body. The censure in his voice echoed loudly in the confines of her mind._

" _ **I can't believe you. Of everything I said, that's all you can focus on?"**_

 _Raking a hand through his hair, his righteous anger seemed to break._ _ **"Help me understand, Buffy. Please help me understand how to see this. Because maybe if you help me, I'll help you understand what I felt not only tonight, but every time I think of Angel."**_

" _ **Angelus."**_

" _ **What?"**_

" _ **His name is Angelus,"**_ _Buffy stiffly clarified._

 _Holding his widespread arms in the air, Xander replied,_ _ **"Angel. Angelus. It doesn't make any difference to me. They're both the same in my eyes."**_ _Dropping his arms, he tightly clenched both his fists and cried,_ _ **"I just watched one of my best friends get the snot beat out of her and you know what I felt? Hate, Buffy. I felt hate. Hate because you had to fight him and hate because I couldn't help."**_ _His dark brown eyes glistened with sorrow as he hoarsely asked,_ _ **"Do you have any idea how that makes ME feel? You're my friend and I'm supposed to protect you but I can't! I can't because you're the Slayer."**_

" _ **The Slayer,"**_ _Buffy repeated while nodding her head._

 _Willow held her silence, sensing that if she spoke the rare line of true communication between Buffy and Xander would disappear._

" _ **I don't understand how I'm supposed to act about this. Neither Willow nor I know what to say to you anymore. We've dropped the topic of Angel out of hopes that maybe you'll come to us in time, but it's not working. So please, help us help you, Buffy. Tell us what you need, tell us what to do."**_

 _Xander's pleas reminded her of Angelus'. Her misery increased as guilt and confusion made a wretched mess of her heart._ _ **"Just look at us,"**_ _she murmured as a sad smile lifted her lips._ _ **"We used to share everything, didn't we?"**_

" _ **Yeah, we did,"**_ _Xander unhappily answered._ _ **"I thought it was going to last forever, the three of us."**_

 _Willow finally spoke._ _ **"But nothing lasts forever."**_ _Her words hung miserably between them, taking a small piece of innocence away that should've already been gone, but strangely wasn't._

" _ **Everything has gotten so…ugly. So empty,"**_ _Buffy whispered._ _ **"I can't even remember the way it used to be."**_

" _ **I don't think any of us can,"**_ _Willow forlornly admitted with a sigh._ _ **"We've all moved on with life the best way we know how, but inside we know that we're leaving each other behind in some way. No matter how much we try, we're doing it."**_

 _Buffy's shoulders slumped as if the weight of it all was too much to bear._ _ **"It's true. Ever since my birthday when Angel…I haven't been the same person."**_

" _ **We know,"**_ _Willow acknowledged gently._ _ **"We didn't want to see it though. We wanted to pretend that nothing had changed, that everything was the same. But tonight…tonight we can't pretend anymore. Angel…us, Buffy, he was completely sick. Half the time we don't know what he said to you, but we saw enough. He wanted to kill you."**_

" _ **Buffy, I've never been so scared as I was five minutes ago,"**_ _Xander dismally shared._ _ **"You barely fought back and he was just so determined. I wasn't sure if you were going to win tonight and I…"**_ _He rubbed his nose in embarrassment as it became obvious that his voice wasn't going to cooperate._ _ **"I never want to see that again. Never."**_

" _ **I'm sorry."**_ _She reached for his hand hesitantly and gave it a small squeeze._ _ **"I'm sorry, Xander. I wish you hadn't seen it. I wish…I wish for so many things."**_

 _Jerkily nodding his head, he returned the sign of affection before dropping her hand._ _ **"We need to know something and please just tell us the truth. No matter what, just tell us the truth."**_

" _ **What?"**_ _Buffy asked in token, already knowing where their conversation was leading._

 _Xander swallowed once, as if the question was going to be almost impossible to ask._

" _ **Do you still love him?"**_

" _ **Yes,"**_ _was all she thought to say. What she didn't count on was the ugly sobs that poured from her throat as a result._

 _Needing to avoid the condemning eyes that were sure to be following her every move, Buffy crouched down, wrapped her arms around her knees, and dropped her head._

" _ **Oh, Buffy,"**_ _Willow whispered sadly as she followed her friend down._ _ **"It's okay,"**_ _she murmured over and over again as she leaned Buffy into her sympathetic embrace._ _ **"It's okay to cry. It's okay."**_

 _Clutching her friend in gratitude, Buffy began to sob louder when she felt Xander's arms close around her in comfort._

" _ **We're here for you. We'll always be here for you. Always,"**_ _he hoarsely swore as he laid his head against hers._

 _The trio sat mourning in the absence of forever, while Buffy wailed her grief for Willow, Xander, Joyce, but most of all-Angel and Angelus._

The rest of the short ride was spent in companionable silence. Angelus' hand remained on Buffy's thigh, occasionally squeezing or stroking it as he saw fit. Soon they pulled into the private parking area where Angelus solicitously opened the door for his mistress.

Reaching for his hand, Buffy matched her strides to keep up with his. When they crossed the spacious foyer, she smiled in greeting to the two elderly faces that nodded their heads and murmured welcome.

Discreetly looking over her shoulder she saw the concern in Mr. Lomarr's eyes. Meeting her gaze, he quickly shifted away, almost as if he were afraid Angelus would see him. After they entered the elevator, Buffy asked, "Why do you keep entering through the lobby when we can go through the private entrance?"

A smirk lifted his beautiful mouth.

"Because it amuses me."

"Why?"

"Because I can smell their fear." At her gasp of censure, Angelus looked down and shrugged his shoulder unapologetically. "It's fun."

Buffy made a disapproving noise in response.

"Argh! Why are you so mean?"

"Why are you so nauseatingly nice?" he shot back with a grin.

Lifting her chin she answered, "Because I am."

Angelus brought her small hand up and gently kissed her delicate fingers.

"True. You're also very, VERY sweet."

Buffy's cheeks became delicately flushed as a result of his compliment. When his tongue came out and flicked across her skin, she felt her body tighten in readiness.

"Patience, lover. Patience," he chided playfully. Keeping her hand in his, Angelus hummed a lively little tune and waited for the elevator to come to a halt. After pressing a few buttons, the doors slid open. "We're home, honey," he pointed out with a grin.

"Good. I'm tired," she replied teasingly as she dropped his hand and skipped out into the foyer.

"Ha-ha," Angelus murmured as he reached out and slapped her bottom.

Buffy looked over her shoulder and stuck out her tongue. As she walked across the smooth floor she wondered at her mercurial change of mood. _Angelus really is rubbing off on me. Before I know it, I'll be as moody as he is._

Entering the cavernous living area, Buffy quickly shed her clothes before plopping down on a leather couch.

"I wasn't kidding, Baby. I really am tired."

Angelus slipped off his coat and laid it across the piano. "Was I too much for you, Buff?" he drawled lazily over his shoulder as he went about his nightly routine of going into his office.

The question was filled with masculine pride and she hard-pressed not to laugh out loud. "Maybe a little," she answered demurely while closing her eyes.

"Hmm. I've yet to see the night, lover." Angelus promptly disappeared around the corner into his masculine sanctuary.

Opening up a heavy eyelid, Buffy softly asked, "Speaking of night…what do you do in there every night?" Even though hundreds of feet separated them, she knew he could hear her question and in turn she would hear his answer.

If he chose to answer her at all.

"Stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

A small laugh drifted from the shadows.

"Stuff that keeps me busy."

"Like what?"

"Stuff that would bore you."

"It wouldn't bore me."

"Very well then. I'm not telling you."

"Aww, Angelus. Can't you tell me a little bit?"

A harassed sigh reached her sensitive ears.

"Grown-up stuff."

"It can't be that grown-up if you're calling it stuff," Buffy grumbled as she shifted on the couch.

"You have a point, Darling."

"You really not going to tell me?"

"No."

"Fine then," she huffed. "I didn't even really want to know."

"I know."

"I just asked so to show an interest in what you do, because I love you and all."

"Thank you."

A small smile curved her lips as Buffy opened her eyes. They'd had a similar conversation almost every night for almost a month. _Except for that one week._ Buffy's brow creased in sadness before she forcibly brushed it off. _It happened. It's done._

Their domestic squabbling definitely livened their not-so-quiet evenings together. Angelus still wouldn't tell her what he was doing in his office, but she honestly didn't care. It was fun just to see what new term he'd come up with while completely keeping his business private.

 _Hmm. Let me think. He's said meditating, gaming, masturbating, drinking, sleeping, farting…ugh, gross! Umm, I can't remember what else._

Closing her eyes, she felt the tiredness creep over her. A shiver crawled across her body as she felt the coldness seep into her naked skin. "Damnit, Angelus!" Buffy quietly cursed. "When are you going to raise the temperature in this place?"

"How about never?" came the caustic reply several rooms over.

She rolled her eyes and went in search of the down throw her vampire had bought for her.

"Besides, you know where a blanket is!" same vampire scolded.

"I'm getting it," she sighed without heat. Pulling the maroon coverlet out of its place in a small cabinet, Buffy quickly wrapped herself up. The feathers captured her body heat, inspiring a happy groan. _So nice! So warm!_

In a much better spirit, Buffy walked back to the couch and slid back into her spot. Staring at the ceiling, she wondered what Willow was thinking of her cowardly move. Burrowing into her blanket, she guiltily dismissed those thoughts and focused on clearing her mind.

Within minutes Buffy drifted off to sleep.

An hour later, after a few clicks, the discreet camera zoomed in on her peaceful face. Angelus smiled in amusement as he watched a small trail of drool seep from the corner of her mouth. "Guess she wasn't lying." Scanning the documents on his desk, he felt an undignified thrill surge right through him.

Buffy kept pestering about his private activities and while she hadn't seriously pushed, he knew she still took pleasure asking her wifely questions. If asked directly, he would probably deny it, but he enjoyed it as well.

However, if she had any real idea of what he had been doing, Buffy would probably seriously rethink his level of insanity.

"But it doesn't matter because I was right!" he whispered to himself, unable to keep the triumphant grin from creeping across his lips. "I'm strong enough and because of that, I knew I'd find the answer! I knew it!"

Angelus closed his eyes and basked in the heady thrill awaiting him in the future. Without looking down at his hand, he fingered the small necklace over and over again.

Memories of old taunted his mind, only this time Angelus' response was merely an evil smile. "Those fucking pricks are probably turning over in their graves right now," he sneered spitefully. Remembering the pain and humiliation he suffered at the hands of those so-called men of God, took nothing away from Angelus' victory.

"I hope they're burning with rage in their own hell right now, because there's only one thing to stop me after this. And even that, I'll figure a way around. I know I will."

And if there was one thing to be said about Angelus it was that he was determined.

" _ **Not feeling so cocky now are you?"**_ _The priest shook his head in false sorrow._ _ **"I'm so disappointed to see you in this sorry state, I truly am."**_ _He set down the cruel weapon in his fist carefully before reaching for a damp handkerchief. Fastidiously wiping his hands, the soft-spoken priest set his stern eye upon the creature dangling in chains._

" _ **But, the Lord has bestowed me my own cross, Angelus. That he has,"**_ _he stated gravely._ _ **"It would never please Him to know we complain about our divine purpose. After all, even abominations like you have a place in His will,"**_ _he finished imperiously while flicking his fingers in Angelus' direction._

 _The starved vampire merely lifted his head, albeit weakly, and narrowed his eyes, not deigning to give his tormentor the satisfaction of an answer, even though his skin was on fire._

 _However, his disgust was obvious._

" _ **Ah, you're not hurting my feelings, Scourge. Instead, you're committing blasphemy, my son."**_ _Hearing the rasping growl, the burly sadist tilted his head in interest._ _ **"Strange. I think there's a spot I missed."**_

 _Quickly approaching the unflinching vampire, the priest pried Angelus' mouth open and shoved a cross down his throat._

 _Despite his enormous will, Angelus could not contain the muffled screams of his agony._

The ticking of a clock and the soft sound of Buffy's breathing were the only noises to be heard in the aftermath of those memories. Standing up, he took a deep and unnecessary breath, unable to shake off his human habits even after centuries. If there was ever a point in his undead existence that had changed him, it was those two months. Up until he had been captured, Angelus had been a murdering vampire but not an unnecessarily cruel one.

But unrelenting pain had a way of changing even the most stalwart of beasts and so afterwards he had truly become the monster he was often accused of being.

Angelus' pensive expression became grim as he thought, _I was damaged but never broken. Not during their torture and not during Angel's reign. I came back. I took control of the clan. I got Buffy. And now this._

His world might be falling apart, but it didn't matter. Winning was the only thing that mattered. Not suffering, not pain, but winning.

With triumph firmly in place, Angelus left the office and quietly made his way towards his sleeping mistress. Although he had no intention of sharing his monumental success with her, he did feel the need for celebration. After all, Buffy had inspired the stamina for this obsessive discovery.

 _It seems going crazy has that effect on me. Maybe I should try it more often,_ he thought silently to himself in a bit of odd humor.

Soundlessly entering the mammoth room, Angelus' gaze instinctually went to the young girl slumbering peacefully on his couch. A rare, genuine smile crossed his lips as he gracefully made his way towards her. For someone who kept late nights regularly, Buffy seemed to need her sleep quite a bit. _Maybe it's BECAUSE she keeps late nights,' he acknowledged wryly._

Bending his back, Angelus slid his hands beneath her shoulders and thighs. As he lifted her small body up, Buffy's eyes immediately flew open. Not wanting to disturb her, he commanded in a soft voice, "Sleep." With only a second's hesitation she obeyed. Situating himself on the couch, he tucked her next to him, before covering them both with the blanket.

As the minutes slipped away, Angelus grudgingly admitted that once again he felt a sense of calmness descend over him. Even after all these weeks, Buffy still had the power to amaze him, simply because it seemed like it was only a short while ago he fantasized about destroying her.

Supporting his head on his hand, he remembered her mini-hysteria.

" _ **I hate m-myself! I h-hate who I am! Sometimes I-I w-w-wish I'd n-never became the S-Slayer! Sometimes I w-wish I'd never been born!"**_

Although he didn't say it at the time, it was true that life would most definitely have been easier. However, Angelus still believed in what he had said. "You were meant to be mine, Slayer," he whispered beguilingly, not caring that she couldn't hear him.

Gently running a finger down her small nose, he smiled once more as Buffy wiggled it, apparently tickled because of his actions. "You are the oddest thing, little girl," he whispered. "My hatred for you consumes me day and night. I truly hate you and yet…"

Angelus' words trailed off into nothingness, drawing a slight frown. His mind couldn't finish the rest and something inside shuddered with relief. Before the vampire could give reason to his actions, he leaned down and brushed his mouth against hers in a feather-soft caress.

 _This feels right. No matter how many other lips I might kiss, these are the only ones that feel right._

Pulling back reluctantly, he stared at Buffy's sleeping face in consternation. _We fit together like a hand and glove…perfectly._ Yet he fought it. While one gloved hand viciously kept her close, the other cruelly pushed her away.

Even now, in the height of his newest triumph, he wouldn't let her go, but apparently Buffy was also unwilling to completely free him.

A small burst of bitter laughter flavored the air with echoes of impossible happiness. _If I were a different kind of creature, I would have already made her my wife._ Unable to resist touching her, Angelus stated aloud in a flat voice, "But I never will. I learned from Angel's mistake. The best you'll ever be is my favorite whore."

Ignorant to her lot in his life, Buffy kept to her dreams and sighed softly.

Closing his eyes, Angelus shook off the grasping tendrils of discontent and instead focused on her rhythmic breathing.

And once more he thought back on the madness that had consumed them both such a short time ago.

 _Angelus stumbled into the alley with a gait of an alcoholic hopped up on a lethal amount of liquor. His whole body ached and his chest hurt with the memory of phantom death-beats._ _ **"Fuck!"**_ _he hissed as he tripped over a stray crate. Clutching his breast, Angelus blearily looked at the dirty segment of world he just hid himself in._

 _The similarities to Angel's penance did not go unnoticed, even in the midst of his enigmatic agony. He took a shallow breath through habit and leaned his head against the wall._ _ **'What the hell is happening to me?'**_ _Angelus' insides roiled with miserable intensity, reminding him of a feeling this carnation of his body hadn't felt since blood naturally ran through his veins._

" _ **Argh,"**_ _he groaned as he collapsed onto the dank, smelly ground. If Spike's spies were around, they were probably having quite a laugh at his expense. Whipping his head away, he nearly gagged as the putrid smell of rot reached his delicate nostrils._

 _Inelegantly, he scrambled against the wall and fought to find his balance._ _ **"What the bleeding HELL?"**_ _Just a few minutes ago Angelus had been strolling along, in rage and bitterness, but strolling nonetheless. Buffy's dismissal in light of her puking friends had struck him in a way not to his liking-although he couldn't quite explain why. So, he had decided to do what he always did when torture wasn't an option-stalk through the darkness and look for a fight._

 _He had barely reached the miniscule, seedy part of town when all feeling seemed to leave his legs. Now he was hiding amidst filth and rubbish like some damned lower demon._

" _ **I bet Buffy is having some pity party with those dumb-asses,"**_ _Angelus sneered in disgust as another wave of pain washed over him. Desperately, he closed his eyes and imagined a group huddle between the trio of idiots. In his imagination, they all sighed and moaned over how hard teenage life was, especially when living on the HellMouth._

 _Before he could muster another insult amidst a stab of brutal agony, a real image popped into his mind before fading away with ghostly precision._

 _Angelus' eyes flew open and he instinctively sought to stand. Fixedly staring into the distance, his mind obsessively replayed the scene over and over again. Buffy sat in a messy sprawl, hands over her head as she sobbed with ugly pain. Her companions' arms were around her, their mouths moving with imprecise speech._

 _It was then that he knew. The living death visiting him was alive in Buffy._

 _Biting his lip with an elongated fang, Angelus began slamming his head against the brick wall as a blistering stream of curses flew from his lips. The madness, which had gripped him without cease, was evaporating as Buffy's pain grew. The vicious demon in Angelus commanded him to, at the very least, go to his building and lock himself away until his bitch's hurt dissipated._

" _ **IF SHE WERE DEAD THEN HER FUCKING HEART WOULDN'T BE BREAKING, WOULD IT?"**_

 _Clenching his fists until his nails pierced through the flesh, Angelus concentrated on the slight pain growing in his skull. His lack of control was burning a hole through the little sanity he was regaining. In the recesses of his logic, Angelus knew what his ultimate decision was going to be._

 _However, the humiliation of that choice was rapidly burning away the rest of his demon reasoning._

 _Angelus slammed his head one last time against the crumbling brick before forcing his legs to obey. Unsteadily gaining his feet, he stood still for several moments. Despite the leakage of time, he refused to move from that spot until his body regained some semblance of control._

" _ **If I'm going to do this,"**_ _the vampire muttered angrily._ _ **"I'm going to do this right."**_ _Cautiously taking one step, he noted with satisfaction how his limbs remained strong and firm. Even though the pain was making a bitter fool of his façade, it would have to be enough._

" _ **Co-dependent bitch,"**_ _he hissed as he steadily took one step after another into the night._ _ **"Why the hell can't you get control of your emotions, huh? Do you really think that it's always nice to share? Well, it isn't!"**_

 _Only a few minutes passed before he could smell the tears of his mistress. Its aroma angered something dark and primal hiding inside his human shell._

 _Entering the cemetery with purpose, Angelus didn't bother to disguise his presence. The dust rose in small storms from the force of his boots as they unerringly made their way to the fragile group huddled amidst the dead. From the sudden increase in Buffy's heartbeat, he knew she was aware of him long before the two beings next to her were._

" _ **It's going to be okay, Buffy."**_

" _ **We'll get through this together, alright? Just like we've always done."**_

" _ **Buffy, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost…"**_

 _They never got a chance to react before Angelus had a hold of Willow and Xander's conscious mind._ _ **"Get out."**_ _However, his command only seemed to inspire indecision and confusion as they mutely clung to Buffy's back._

 _In a choked whisper she demanded,_ _ **"Why?"**_ _Her posture never changed, only seemed to harden with an emotion akin to devastation._

 _Angelus refused to look at her, even though he understood Buffy was asking more than just the obvious. Ignoring her, he reached down and yanked Willow's chin up before reaching out to do the same to Xander's-albeit with more force._

 _Buffy sat there, suddenly poised to strike yet uncharacteristically seeming to give him the benefit of the doubt._

 _Not wasting time, Angelus stared down his aristocratic nose and growled,_ _ **"She cried, you cried, you all cried until your eyeballs ran dry. You'll see her in school tomorrow and you three can puke out how you'll be friends until the end. So, let go of Buffy and take your worthless hides home. Now!"**_ _This time the two teens quietly stood up, looked down at their friend with a blank stare, before slowly walking out of the cemetery._

 _Buffy silently watched their progress, looking as if the last lifeline between her normal life and this one was vanishing without a trace. Once Willow and Xander left, she dropped her eyes and shallowly drew breath. The scent of tears grew heavy, filling Angelus' mouth with their bittersweet taste._

" _ **I know why. We're all just puppets to you, the great Scourge of Europe,"**_ _she murmured with an apathetic voice. Buffy abruptly shook her head._ _ **"No, not Europe. The great Scourge of the Free World."**_

 _Awkwardly he stood there, suddenly unsure of what to do. All thoughts of hauling his woman up and dragging her to the penthouse shriveled up and died a quick death. In an unsteady precipice between sharp clarity and fading madness, Angelus could feel each pulse of her heart as a companion to his still one._

 _And it scared him._

 _Druscilla's crazed words of the past drifted in his ear, aptly describing how Buffy looked to him right now._ _ **"Like a broken bird falling out of its little cage,"**_ _she seemed to coo, the pity and maliciousness mixing into a toxic brew of longing._

 _Before Angelus could brusquely demand for Buffy to cease her tears, she spoke in a frigid, flat voice._

" _ **No matter how I try to connect to the people I care about, I'm completely alone. No matter how many times I lie, I only make things worse. No matter what I do to keep them safe, I can't seem to make the right decision. No matter how normal I try to pretend to be, I'm still me. Even though I don't who the real me is the majority of the time."**_

 _Buffy tilted her head back and stared straight up into his hooded eyes._

" _ **And no matter how much I try to hate you, I still can't."**_ _Her cold visage broke, finally allowing the mournful vulnerability to bleed through._ _ **"Why?"**_

 _Angelus had no answer, none that would comfort anyway. So instead of mustering a barrage of insults designed to capitalize on Buffy's weakness, he chose to remain silent._

 _However, he held out one hand._

 _A slight wince appeared on his face before it disappeared into immortality._ _ **'If she accepts, we'll both be better. We'll be as we were. All this shit will disappear and we can…just…BE. But only if she accepts.'**_

 _Seconds passed while Angelus waited for Buffy to take his impulsive offer._

 _Her soft, girlish voice reached him first._

" _ **I've tried to live without you and I thought I was doing a damned good job. Each night that went by was one less until I was free."**_ _Buffy reached up and wiped her eyes, embarrassed by the rising of tears._ _ **"But the more I tasted freedom, the less I saw myself."**_ _Fingering the silver ring on her finger, she sighed and smiled with miserable satisfaction._ _ **"The less I saw myself and the more I saw you."**_

 _Unsure of how to take her words, Angelus stubbornly held his hand out, refusing to accept defeat._ _ **'You'll come to me. You have to. Your heart is calling to me.'**_ _However much he denied the uncertainty cautiously making its home inside his mind, the vampire couldn't ignore its existence. And so he fixated his attention to every breath coming from Buffy's body, to every word tumbling from her pink mouth._

" _ **It felt good, Angelus. For the first time since you came back, I was in control of me. I showed you how I really felt. I MADE you see what you did to me. I made you feel crazy, I made you ugly, I made you pitiful. I made you something you never were before."**_ _A mirthless smile lifted her lips._ _ **"I was strong."**_

 _Angelus wanted to crush Buffy's assumptions into nothingness, but he couldn't. She was right. He had become all those things and more._

 _The glimmer of joy in her lovely eyes dissipated and the narrative quality of her words disappeared, only to be replaced by a frenzied telling._

" _ **But it was all fueled by hatred, rage, and spite. Seeing you tonight, fighting with you, it should've just made it worse. I should've wanted to put this stake in you!"**_ _Holding up her hand, she waited until his eyes slid from the pointed death instrument back to her._ _ **"Thinking that you killed a human tonight, it was supposed to be what I wanted."**_

 _The silence grew dark, the facets of truth and pride difficult to peer through. Angelus' patience began to unravel as Buffy's pain seized his chest once again._ _ **"So why didn't you?"**_ _A rasping chuckle split the air._ _ **"It sure as hell wasn't because you couldn't physically do it."**_

 _Not seeing even a hint of a smile cross her face, Angelus extended his hand further. When she kept her position, he ignored how foolish he looked and asked instead,_ _ **"What are we doing here, Buff?"**_

" _ **I thought I knew,"**_ _she answered with a heavy heart._

 _This time he felt something besides her pain. He felt his._

" _ **We keep going in circles. I love you, Angelus. I hate you, Angelus. You make me sick. You make me complete. I feel guilty. I feel happy. Please don't touch me. Please touch me more. I love you. I hate you."**_ _Raising his voice, he yelled,_ _ **"Why don't you FEEL what I'm feeling RIGHT NOW! I've had to walk over three miles with your human emotions lodged in my chest."**_

 _Pinning her with his meanest stare, Angelus hissed,_ _ **"I'm getting really tired of it. We either make up now and this stops or we fuck and then this stops. Either way, this stops, Buff."**_

 _The end of his pre-threat words seized her attention._ _ **"What do you mean?"**_ _Buffy asked sharply._

" _ **You're not stupid, lover. I can't break it down any further without using live-action."**_

" _ **No, not that,"**_ _she clarified without any vicious heat. Her eyes narrowed slightly in evidence of confusion._ _ **"Did you say you felt me?"**_

" _ **Why do you think I'm here, Buff?"**_ _he asked sourly._ _ **"After you tossed me aside for those brats, I definitely wasn't going to come back for more of your abuse."**_

" _ **Abuse?"**_ _Buffy's eyes darkened in annoyance before clearing._ _ **"We're not going to get into that now,"**_ _she stated firmly._ _ **"Why did you come back?"**_

 _Angelus' grin was cocky and smug._ _ **"I literally felt your pain and I had to know what was causing it."**_ _With that, he waited for Buffy's reaction._ _ **'Come, my darling. Let's dispense with all this unnecessary drama and get back to where we were before interruption.'**_

" _ **You felt me."**_ _She appeared floored with the knowledge._ _ **"I-I didn't know you could do that."**_

" _ **Fucked up, ain't it?"**_ _Angelus stated rather than asked, trademark smirk firmly in place. His sharp gaze located hers and finished with,_ _ **"Bonding can be a bitch but it is what it is. You keep fighting it and in the end nothing changes. Accept it."**_

 _Buffy wondered somberly,_ _ **"Do you accept how it is?"**_

 _He narrowed his eyes in suppressed, sudden rage. Did he accept her? Did he accept this burden on his life? Glancing down, he frowned at the dirt marring his cuffs. For the first time in days, Angelus seemed to realize his sorry physical state._ _ **'Look at you. You lost all your damned pride and power just because this little piece of tail turned you down? It's sickening.'**_

 _In the aftermath of his inner thoughts, he couldn't tell if it was his demon or his will condemning him._

" _ **Do you?"**_ _she repeated, a barely leashed note of urgency riding high in her voice._

 _Releasing a nasty stream of curses, Angelus whipped his proffered hand in the air and snarled,_ _ **"We're bonded. It happened. I'm not going to fight it and neither should you."**_ _With subtle violence he extended it back to her and raised his brow in imperious command._ _ **"Now take my fucking hand before I leave you here in the dirt."**_

 _Buffy suddenly released a bubble of laughter. Even though it had a tinge of mania, the expression in her hazel eyes grew clear with peace. Firmly gripping his hand with hers, she waited until he effortlessly lifted her up before saying,_ _ **"I'm crazy. I really am."**_

' _ **She took it.'**_ _The weight that had been resting heavily on his shoulders for a week slid away. Her body's heat felt so good, so incredibly warm that Angelus could feel his own body react instantly to it._

" _ **It's stupid and I know it, but I've missed this,"**_ _she admitted softly as she lifted his hand to her face._ _ **"I've missed you being like this."**_

" _ **Like what?"**_ _he growled, hardly able to focus on her words as the need to be inside Buffy nearly drowned out all newfound control._

 _Rubbing her cheek against his cool skin, she answered wryly,_ _ **"All arrogant and bossy. Until you rudely told me to get off my ass, I had no idea how much I missed you."**_

 _Angelus leaned in and sniffed her hair, relishing in the mixture of both their scents._ _ **"You are crazy,"**_ _he sighed in bliss._ _ **"Absolutely insane…just like me." 'It's over.'**_ _Without waiting for consent, he pulled her close._ _ **"Insane, Buff. We're both insane for being like this,"**_ _he huskily murmured._ _ **"Insane."**_

" _ **I know I must be,"**_ _Buffy quietly stated._ _ **"I must be for needing you so badly."**_

 _Unable to keep his hands from running down her curves, Angelus found his lips murmuring the questions that only seemed to unman him._ _ **"Then why did you turn away from me? Why did you seek my head?"**_

 _Buffy's heart began to hammer furiously against his chest and answered her question without words._ _ **"You broke my heart, Angelus,"**_ _she whispered softly._

 _The sadness in her voice reproached him._

 _Before he could even think to respond, Buffy abruptly pushed him back._ _ **"Even though I've accepted my need for you and we've gotten back together, I want you to know one thing."**_

 _Impatiently waiting for her to continue, Angelus curtly nodded his head in answer even as his hands pulled her back to him._

" _ **Don't ever say that to me again."**_

" _ **Say what?"**_

 _An incredible expression of misery took hold of Buffy's lovely face. Before she spoke Angelus felt its echo within his chest._

" _ **Don't ever say you wish me dead."**_

 _Holding the Slayer within his arms, the dark vampire pondered her words for several seconds. Death. How could such a vicious, ugly state ever touch this beautiful golden girl of his? It couldn't. It wouldn't. There was no point in discussing it._ _ **'I can protect her from all threat,'**_ _Angelus thought in determination._ _ **'She belongs to me and I won't let her go.'**_

 _Once more, his demon made an unwelcome appearance._

' _ **UNTIL YOU TIRE OF HER! THEN YOU CAN SLIT HER THROAT AND TOSS HER AWAY LIKE THE GARBAGE SHE IS!'**_

 _Angelus could feel a low growl seep into his throat, begging to be released. His hands tightened as the need to push Buffy away took hold. He could feel his bestial side struggling to break free from its human shackles. Angelus kept it back with vicious ruthlessness, but he could sense his will slipping._

 _Now was not the time to have her close to his darkness, not when she had just accepted him again._ _ **'I'll hurt her and it won't even be as a game.'**_

 _Unaware of her lover's internal war, Buffy clutched him close and waited for him to soothe her fears. However, as the seconds turned into minutes, her face shifted from expectant, to troubled, to scared, and finally to furiously hurt._

 _Shoving away from his possessive hold, she shouted,_ _ **"You can't even lie, can you?"**_

 _Snapping out of his private battle, Angelus was suddenly able to lock away the evil. In doing so, he found himself feeling disoriented._ _ **'What is she yelling about now?'**_ _He reached out to bring her close, only to feel the sting of her fingers. Frowning blackly, he wondered,_ _ **'She asked me a question, didn't she? What was it?'**_

 _Buffy slapped away his hands and stepped back._ _ **"You asked what we're doing here, well now I'm asking it!"**_ _she yelled._ _ **"'I hate you, Buff. You belong to me, Darling. You make me sick, Whore. Smile for me, Baby. I want you dead, Bitch.'"**_

' _ **Ah, I get it now.'**_ _Instead of reacting with fury, Angelus smiled beautifully and crooned,_ _ **"Calm down, Sweetie."**_

 _His kind words only seemed to infuriate Buffy further._ _ **"No, I won't calm down! You just don't get it."**_ _Her mouth tightened as she looked down in disgust._ _ **"If I died by some demon's sword tonight, you'd be jumping headstones in joy. Damnit-"**_

 _Angelus' calm voice cut cleanly through her rage._

" _ **I wouldn't."**_ _Her surprised pause quickly crumbled away._ _ **"I'd be beyond pissed it wasn't by my sword."**_

 _Buffy's eyes darkened with angry tears before spilling down onto her pale cheeks._ _ **"Then there's nothing left to say, is there?"**_

" _ **Oh, I think there is."**_ _Snatching her by the back of the neck, Angelus leaned close and whispered,_ _ **"If you are ever to die in this world, then it should be by my hand. No other. You belong to me, Buffy. Forever."**_ _Lifting her chin with the tips of his fingers, he growled,_ _ **"Nothing will take you from me, do you understand?"**_

 _Buffy stood within his hard embrace, her eyes brightening with the joy that could only come from toxic love. Her answer, when it came, was in the form of a precious kiss._

Angelus' mouth curved in remembrance. If they had rutted in a crypt, it wouldn't have been unique nor would it have been the first time for them, but something unique did happen-nothing. Nothing had happened. There had been no make-up sex for them, at least not then.

From there, they had walked hand in hand to her house but only after ensuring Willow and Xander had made it home safely. Even though he had assured her no vampire was suicidal enough to attack them, she had insisted and he had been powerless to deny her.

"We didn't…" Angelus paused as he tried to find the right word. "Sleep…with each other immediately, did we?" he whispered to the still-sleeping girl. "It was definitely a first for us."

It WAS odd for them, especially because the scent of lust permeated the dark air around them. However, the closer they got to Buffy's house, the more agitated she had become. Her guilt and fear would not be appeased until she had made sure Joyce was safe. And even though her mother had been sleeping heavily, Buffy kept vigilance over her until the early morning light had seeped through the blinds.

It was there in the darkness that Angelus had found himself sitting alongside his mistress, legs stretched in front with only the ticking of the clock and Joyce's heartbeat to keep them company. With hands still entwined they had talked for hours, hesitant and awkward at first but soon she was regaling him with stories of life in the sun. As Buffy's head lay on his shoulder, he began sharing what night was like on the Continent, without the bloodiness until she asked to hear that too.

By the time the alarm went off, Angelus felt as if he knew Buffy in a way he hadn't considered before. The only parts of her he had ever demanded had been her heart and body, but never the pieces that made her unique.

His gaze softened as she murmured incoherently before snuggling close to his chest. Pulling the blanket over her naked shoulder, Angelus leaned down and nuzzled her ear. With little effort, he took in her scent and let it fill his body just as her blood already did.

Although he still didn't know nearly enough about her, he now knew that the scar on her knee came from sliding down a tree when she was four. And although she had never been to Venice, she knew what it was like to glide through the canals beneath the stars.

"I don't understand this change you've wrought in me, little girl. You've welcomed me into your heart, even though I sin against you." A troubled frown pulled at the corners of his mouth as he stated, "Even though I still sin."

"Hmm," Buffy quietly murmured as her eyes fluttered open. As soon as her gaze focused upon his face, a beautiful smile lifted her pink mouth. "Angelus," she sighed as she reached up to hug him.

Accepting her trusting caress, the vampire dismissed his uncharacteristically guilty thoughts. _It doesn't matter. They don't matter._ He pulled back and kissed her temple in greeting. "Let's go to bed, Sleepy-Head."

"Already?" Buffy asked with a yawn. "But I've just woken up."

"But you still need your sleep," he patiently countered.

A small pout replaced her smile.

"Aren't we going to…you know?"

"Greedy wench."

"You made me that way," she pointed out impishly.

"Well, not tonight. Tonight you're going to be a lady." Without waiting for her to answer, Angelus lifted her petite body off the couch.

"But I don't want to be a lady!" she complained. "And it's not fair. How come you get to decide when we do it?"

Striding towards the bedroom, he nestled her close and abruptly starting laughing. _Oh, my darling-you do put a smile on my face._

"What is it?" Buffy demanded suspiciously.

"Nothing, lover," he lied between chuckles.

The tenor of his laugh was different than any she had ever heard before. This time it sounded…genuine?

"Angelus, what is it?"

A drunk, glittering gaze met hers. Squeezing her tighter, he admonished, "You talk too much, Darling."

Feeling a tremor of fear, she leaned her head against his chest. Buffy commanded her body to calm itself before Angelus smelled the signs of weakness.

It was too late.

"You scared of a little joy, Buff?" his sanguine voice slyly murmured.

"Yours? Yes," she admitted with clear candor.

Depositing her on the bed, Angelus reached out and touched her nose with a playful finger. "Don't be," he commanded with friendly firmness. "At least not tonight."

"You're really not going to tell me?"

"No."

With a heavy, dramatic sigh Buffy leaned over to the set the small alarm for 5:45am.

"You know that's what the concierge desk is for," Angelus dryly pointed out as he slipped into bed with her.

Releasing the button, she leaned back against the fluffy pillows and frowned.

"No way! It's too embarrassing."

"Why? They know you're up here."

"Don't remind me!" she cried while her hands flew up to her blushing cheeks. "Oh, my God," she groaned. "They know we do IT."

"I hope so," he breathed lasciviously. "After all, I'd hate for my virility to be questioned."

"Virility? Wouldn't I have to be pregnant for that to be proved?" Buffy asked dryly. Although she hadn't initially meant for her comment to be taken seriously, the stark expression of rage and longing in Angelus' face shocked her into silence.

"Go to sleep, lover," he commanded after several tense seconds.

Lying down obediently, Buffy tried to understand what had just happened. She closed her lids and was instantly haunted by the image of a beautiful little boy with dark hair, pale skin, and hazel eyes.

"If you could, would you?"

The somber question brought to painful life a million images she would never have with Angelus.

"Would you?" he asked softly while reaching out to touch her flat, girlish stomach.

 _Would I? He's unstable, violent, moody, childish, and way too possessive. He hurts my feelings without caring and consumes my every thought._ The sensation of his fingers inspired a strange comfort within Buffy. Her body stirred with awareness, not sexually, but in the knowledge that she belonged to him and that after she stripped away the guilt and confusion, it was what she really wanted.

 _He's a bully, yet he's kind for a vampire, honors his word, doesn't hurt anyone I care about, and understands me in a way not even my Watcher does. Every time I thought I wouldn't be able to live up to my expectations he's been there to push me along. He's shown me I'm not stupid, that I can learn, and that I can be better. He's taken care of me when I most needed it. He's helped me make my Mom proud of me. He makes me laugh. He makes me feel beautiful._

"Would you?" he prompted harshly.

 _And I love him._

Turning her head, Buffy easily found his hooded gaze despite the darkness. Her answer, although not possessing the power to change the impossible, did speak with conviction.

"Yes."

Angelus' mouth twitched with an enigmatic smile. "You know it'd be forever, don't you?" Reaching out, he brushed his fingers across her womb. "It'd be forever."

"Isn't it already forever?" she bravely asked.

He froze in the midst of his caressing and looked down into her face. The vulnerability painted itself across the surface of her mouth, even though Buffy tried her hardest to suppress it.

His demon shouted, "FOREVER IS YOUR DEATH, WHORE!"

His head shouted, "LAUGH AT HER AND MAKE HER CRY! THEN SHE'LL KNOW BETTER THAN TO ASK STUPID QUESTIONS!"

However, something else whispered, "Yes, it is."

"Forever, Angelus."

"Forever, Buffy."

At the scent of her tears, Angelus fit her body to his and felt a softer emotion stir within his loins. When her arms wrapped around his neck in familiar longing, he buried his face against her sweetly scented hair.

It was then that Angelus knew with complete certainty that Buffy was no longer prey but something better. The whole world seemed to wait with malicious breath to see him put her in the ground. Well, fuck the world. And fuck Spike and Dru too. Granted, he had been promising the Slayer's heart as a token for his mad childe, but he was just going to have to make a lie of those words.

And as far as that traitorous cocksucker was concerned, he could just burst into ashes. Angelus needed to explain himself to no one. Besides, Spike would do what he was damned well told to do!

As leader of their clan, he was entitled to do what he wanted with any human in Sunnydale. So while it had been his decision to kill her, it was now his decision to keep her. Forever.

" **Safe. You're safe."**

" **You came. They told me you wouldn't."**

" **Safe."**

" **I'm sorry that I believed them."**

" **I can't risk you anymore."**

" **Angelus?"**

" **Close your eyes, my love."**

The nightmare materialized before his sight, staining the room with death and pain. Scowling at the image, he gave into his weakness and shut his eyes. He willed it to disappear before cautiously lifting his lids. The shadows returned back to normal.

 _I was wrong that night in the cemetery. Buffy WILL NOT die by my hand._

It was as good as an oath for Angelus.

His lips began their familiar journey over her bare shoulder, down her slender arm, and back to her perfect neck. Her soft cries of passion filled his ears while her tongue filled his mouth. Soon their bodies joined together, legs locked in a singular display of gentle lust.

Angelus worshipped Buffy with his body in several different ways as her words of devotion and love spilled across his skin. Buried deep within her backside, he reached down and filled her core with his fingers. Listening to her third orgasm with supreme satisfaction, he finally allowed himself to join her.

Sliding down into the bed, he felt Buffy's sweat on his skin and irrationally enjoyed the guise of humanity it gave his cold flesh.

"Will you be different tomorrow, Angelus?"

"What do you mean?"

The rustling of sheets whispered her movements as she raised herself on one hand. "Will this be over once the sun rises? Will you change your mind and break my heart?"

Staring off into the shadows, Angelus heard a whisper of fear. Mistakenly, he thought it was hers. "No, Buffy," he whispered as he tugged her back down. "Tomorrow will be the same. And the tomorrow after that. And the one after that. Nothing will change."

"I believe you." Snuggling closer to him, Buffy repeated, "I believe you."

Angelus reached out and held her tightly to his dead heart. "Nothing will change," he repeated with determination.

Unfortunately for this sad, little love story, they were both wrong.


	33. Chapter 33

His exquisite paleness drew her.

Buffy crouched soundlessly amidst the crushed silk and heavy brocade and intently watched her vampire lover. In sleep he appeared as one taken by death but to her loving eye she saw eternity.

With hushed reverence, her slender fingers reached out and lovingly ruffled his dark hair as he slumbered. _Angelus, you're so beautiful,_ she acknowledged silently with near-painful euphoria. _Is that what keeps me tied to your side? Or is it the sweet memories of our first life mixing with the ones we share now?_

Buffy didn't know and found she no longer cared-quite as much.

 _Angel._

In an infinite moment between worlds, she remembered what this creature beneath her hand had been like. From the first wary moments in a dank alley to the never-forgotten experience of ultimate love, the memories all passed through her soul.

Not surprisingly, a small smile of regret darkened her features.

 _Another time, another place. I'm not that same girl anymore. I'm not that innocent. I don't even think Angel would even recognize me. But Angelus…Angelus does._

The soft strands of dark hair brushed across her skin, causing a subdued source of pleasure to hum through her body. It was lust, yes, always lust-but it was also something more. As Buffy sat there in silent watch she once more felt the quiver of shock that never failed to completely leave her these days.

 _He sleeps. Even with me playing with his hair, he's sleeping._ A tiny bubble of mirth tickled her throat, but the Slayer dutifully pushed it down. It wouldn't do to disturb his sleep, especially since this one was apparently without the presence of nightmares.

 _What bothers him? What makes Angelus so desperate when he wakes? Is it the memories? Something else?_ Melancholy dampened the light in Buffy's eyes as she noted that despite their growing closeness, Angelus did not see her as someone he would confide in. Ever. All previous attempts to get him to open up had proved humiliating and painful.

" _ **I just-"**_

" _ **You just what?"**_

" _ **I just want to know if I can help, that's all."**_

" _ **Why the FUCK would I EVER need your help?"**_

" _ **Damnit! I'm asking because I love you! I'm trying to help you because I love you!"**_

" _ **Oh, isn't this just SO peachy? Truly, Buff. Is this the part where I break down and talk to you about my feelings? I'm not Angel, you bitch."**_

" _ **I didn't say you were! Argh! Why do I even bother?"**_

" _ **Exactly. If you want to help, then help by doing the one thing you know how to do-on your back that is."**_

Determined to banish any creeping sadness over that sickeningly shameful memory, Buffy whispered defiantly to herself, "But he still sleeps with me. He doesn't leave or push me out of bed to go. After we finish…finish…doing it…he stays with me. He sleeps."

Without being told directly, she knew that Angelus never slept with women. He fucked them, he played with them, but he never slept with them. Yet with Buffy, the volatile vampire found rest.

And that fact alone gave her hope that somehow, someday, things between them would be different.

 _I'm so pathetic and I know it. Sometimes I get so sick of me. If anyone knew I was like this…I wouldn't be able to take it. I'd probably crack._ Stilling her hand's stroking movements, Buffy chanced leaning forward to place a chaste kiss on his temple.

 _Things are going to get better,_ she swore with an edge of desperation while keeping her lips against his cool skin. _I know they are because he knows me in a way I never thought was possible. He can read my moods perfectly. When I cry he knows how to take the tears away-even if he's the one causing them._

Pulling back silently, Buffy bit her lip as the direction of her thoughts took a sadder turn. _But even so, Angel would never purposely make me cry, would he?_ Her hazel gaze blindly stared at the luxurious bed curtains surrounding the bed. The question kept repeating itself as the familiar layers of guilt and faithlessness came back to overwhelm Buffy.

With a shake of her head, she willed the tears away. _I made my choice that night. I could've kicked him off the roof and then saved my friends. I chose not to and this is where I am._

Compelled to touch the sleeping vampire, Buffy placed her hands on his bare arms and once more began a soothing rhythm. As the minutes melted away, memories of her first night with Angelus came rushing to her in a silken torrent of painful passion and hatred.

" _ **Look, I'm giving you the opportunity to be a hero. Their lives in exchange for me in your bed whenever I want."**_

" _ **This is the last time that I'll be kept from you. You're mine now lover. Always."**_

" _ **Ssh, baby...I won't hurt you."**_

" _ **One of the first things of torture you learn is how to heal the body-so you can break it again."**_

" _ **I want you naked and willing in that bed, do you understand me? If you act the martyr tonight, the deal is off-got it? If you try to fake it in any way, consider them gone!"**_

" _ **There is no Angel here lover. Only me, Angelus. The only name I want to hear pass those lovely lips of yours is mine. If you say his name...you'll regret it."**_

" _ **You fucking whore! I told you not to call me by his name!"**_

" _ **Say my name Slayer...Say it!"**_

" _ **There's nothing wrong with fucking, Buff. What we do will always be fucking-pure, animalistic fucking.**_

" _ **Over time you'll love the pain I give you as much as the pleasure."**_

" _ **Do you love my cock, Buff?"**_

" _ **I don't share and I expect complete faithfulness from you. In mind, heart, and body."**_

" _ **What do you think Angel would think about his precious and pure love getting on her knees and giving me a blow-job? Do you think he'd still honor you?"**_

" _ **I wonder if a particular angel is weeping now."**_

" _ **Angel made me what I am. His disillusionment, his vengeance, his hatred towards the fairer sex, filled me. I took what I was given and made it my own. His betrayal became my creed. All the death and destruction I have visited upon womankind has been because of Angel's final hatred. HE fed it to me."**_

 _Angel, do you know what I've been doing? Do you see me even now? Do you know that I still love you…and that I love him?_ A small trickle of tears seeped from her eyes. They were brushed away quickly before Angelus could awaken at the salty smell of them. _You're gone, but he's here and I love him. Forgive me._

Although the guilt of turning to his godless twin would never leave, Buffy was willing to carry it in her heart. As long as she had this man, this soulless version of living flesh, she was willing to bear the sins of the world for Angelus' touch.

Leaning down to kiss his perfect jaw, Buffy caught the musky scent of their passion. Having already washed off the remnants of their night together, she regretted the fact that she couldn't stay to continue. However, today was a day that she couldn't push off her responsibilities.

After all, how many people could say they not only knew the date of their death, but also were able to miraculously sidestep it? That was reason enough to party. At least the way a Slayer knew how-by doubling the slaying efforts for the night.

"I never told you," she whispered. "I almost did, but you didn't want to hear it." A solemn smile crossed her pale lips as her hand reverently brushed back his hair. "If I died today I would've been happy-happy as I could be-after last night."

The warm gold around her trim waist suddenly shifted and numerous sapphires pressed into her skin. Buffy's hand unconsciously reached past her waistband to feel the comforting reminder of Angelus' possession.

Even though he had given her many gifts throughout their time together, these chains were her favorite.

Looking down, Buffy caught sight of the neatly folded collar and chain. A tiny smile warmed her face as she remembered how Angelus had arrogantly attached them to her neck last night before settling down to sleep. The sane and rational part of her knew she should be repulsed by the message, but she wasn't. Despite the many incomprehensible layers that lay between herself and Angelus, she understood this and accepted what it symbolized to them both.

 **You are mine and I am yours.**

Buffy laid down the precious tools of submission on the pillow next to his head. Leaning forward she gently brushed her lips against his. Angelus' lips remained cool and hard as he lay locked in vampiric slumber.

"I'll see you tonight." The softly spoken words went unanswered. With another kiss, Buffy placed the collar on her vacant pillow, confident Angelus would understand her message: "I am yours and you are mine."

"I love you."

She slid off the bed and padded out of the room. A sense of foreboding quietly seized her soul, making Buffy freeze in mid-step. The urge to run back to Angelus' bed nearly undid her.

 _What is this feeling inside of me? Why am I terrified that I'll never see him again? Why do I feel as if I'll never be here again? No like this anyway._

Her throat dry and her stomach trembling, Buffy whispered, "Why do I feel as if forever is gone?"

The room remained eerily silent with only the sounds of her erratic breathing left to echo in her ears. _Losing Angel almost destroyed me. If I lost Angelus, it would kill me. I know it would._

Poised between instinct and logic, Buffy finally turned around and slowly walked out of the room. _I'm just feeling blue because of my memories, that's all._ Somewhat comforted by her thoughts, she left the decadent lair of her vampire.

However, the beautiful beginnings of the morning left a taste like ashes rotting in her mouth.

The gentle murmur of running water alternately competed with the sound of a toothbrush scraping continuously against teeth. Its job was a thankless one, often seen as an unpleasant chore by children and a monotonous one by adults.

But if it didn't exist, then the cavern we carry around in our heads would deteriorate into putrid blackness.

 _Just like me._

Cynthia turned on the faucet and held her hand beneath the water. Quickly lifting it to her mouth, she dutifully swished before spitting out the foamy liquid. With efficient movements, the dark-haired girl turned off the faucet and set her toothbrush down before picking up a hand towel. Catching sight of herself in the mirror, Cynthia paused in mid-motion.

She saw the faint smudges of fatigue beneath her eyes and the tight set of her mouth. Her dusky skin had a sickly yellow pallor beneath it, making her look sallow and weak. There was no doubt that the last few weeks were really beginning to wear her down. However, it wasn't the continuous surveillance that had dimmed her energy and spirit.

Before she could chase the thought away it whispered, _Am I really doing the right thing?_

Putting the towel down with careful movements, Cynthia dropped her gaze to the bright blue toothbrush on the white porcelain surface. _There's right and then there's wrong. What's happening here is wrong. No matter how ugly the job may get, I'm like that toothbrush. It's up to me to clean away the filth. Now is NOT the time to have doubts._

Although not entirely reassured, Cynthia forced herself to feel secure enough to calmly think ahead to tonight's mission. There was so much that could go wrong, but there was no other way.

Because tonight was going to be the one to finish it all.

Finished with her morning absolutions, she exited the bathroom and walked to her bedroom on near-silent feet. Her dark clothes were already laid out next to the small, dingy photo album. Slipping on the long skirt and matching bulky shirt, she knew she looked harmless enough to perhaps notice, but not nearly enough to warrant a second glance.

Her ebony locks were already in their familiar ponytail, so all that was left was for Cynthia to slip on her sandals. Without hesitation she picked up the album and strode out the door. Her book bag waited for her in the living room, wordlessly reminding her that it wasn't going to be there ever again.

Although she knew anonymous eyes were watching, Cynthia took a long look at the place where she had just spent over three months of her life being Cynthia DeVarrez. While she wouldn't pretend that she had been happy in Sunnydale, there was a twisted sense of longing in her that couldn't be denied. Her face remained neutral, but inside she wryly smiled. _If things had gone differently, I still would've been here. Maybe that's why I care a little more than I should._

The apartment windows smiled at her, the pure morning light washing the cozy living room with natural sweetness, as if it agreed with her sentiments.

Picking up her book bag, Cynthia glanced over at the spot where her fish were swimming in ignorant bliss. After a brief moment, she turned away firmly. The hand holding the album clenched slightly before relaxing.

 _It'll soon be over. Then I can move on._

The ever-present cell phone rang, drawing Cynthia's immediate alertness. _Don't tell me I'm going to get disciplined for being human,_ she angrily thought before reproaching herself. _You SHOULD get disciplined. Weaknesses are not allowed here. Especially tonight._

Her full lips lifted into an indecipherable smile. Quickly answering the phone with a calm greeting, she patiently waited for her caller to leave a cryptic, useless piece of information-useless to prying ears anyway.

Instead, the operative heard, "Hey, Cynthia! We on tonight for sure?"

Easily switching gears, she promised with adolescent confidence, "Absolutely."

The feminine squeal on the other end was in direct odds to the gloomy exterior the caller usually presented to the small town of Sunnydale. "Shit!" the voice laughed out. "I can't believe this is going to happen! It's everything I've ever wanted."

"I told you I'd come through," she reminded with practiced smugness which came off as natural.

"Shit, I didn't believe it. I mean, I BELIEVE, but…" The words trailed off uncomfortably before joy crept back. "If I die after tonight, I'll die happy."

With one hand on the door handle, Cynthia felt her shoulders tense minutely. Duty. Right. Wrong. Sacrifice. They weren't just words to her. They meant something. They always did. They always would-no matter who got hurt. And why?

Because the greater good always demanded a price.

"It's going to be so FUCKING on!"

 _Yes, it is,_ Cynthia thought coldly, already slipping on the mask that had allowed her to survive for so many years. "Is everyone in?" she asked while unlocking the door.

"Hell, yeah!"

"Cool." A hint of guilt wracked the dark-haired girl's conscience once more before disappearing. "We'll talk about it later, alright?"

"No prob."

"You ditching school today?"

"Maybe." The girl's voice crackled with predictable satellite interference. "How about you?"

"You know me. I need the grades."

"I hear ya." An excited sigh drifted across the static.

Sickened with her private knowledge, Cynthia curtly stated, "I gotta go," easily forestalling more cries of glee.

"See ya, Cyn."

"See ya, Brianne." With a flick of her thumb, she ended the call. Standing unnaturally still, she thought, _Cyn. You shouldn't have called me that._ Cynthia's piercing eyes instantly became clouded with pain, for she carried the burden of memories without surcease. _No one calls me that anymore._

The sharp wound of hunger and the fading dreams of achievement merged with the remembrance of unconditional love. The ghostly giggles of two little girls haunted Cynthia's conscience while the incomparable touch of a mother's kiss burned hotly behind her eyes.

 _No one calls me that now. No one but Simon._

Remembering the vampire's stand on tonight strengthened her faltering resolve. _I can't think about you._ A disinterested expression slid across her face, leaving beautiful stillness behind.

However, her bloody, beating, mournful heart wept. Sometimes duty had a way of strangling all that fueled its purpose.

" _ **I won't hurt you."**_

" _ **Liar! Go ahead-suck me dry! I don't care! I hope I taste bad and I hope you get sick!"**_

" _ **I don't drink from little girls, Nina. Speaking of little girls, what are you doing out here hunting vampires? You look like you're only eight or nine. You should be at home!"**_

Even though she thought she was facing Death himself in that glass-strewn field, Cynthia hadn't been able to completely dismiss Simon's gentle cerulean gaze. And the years had done nothing to mar the beautiful peace found within. But the gentle vampire who carried a little assassin to her crime-ridden neighborhood without using his preternatural speed in order to keep her calm-because he could smell her tears-belonged to another life.

The wound was still filled with rotting pain. _You betrayed me, Simon._ Cynthia didn't want to remember that night. She didn't want to hear the screams that had tore from her throat as he walked away, leaving her alone with blood and guilt.

Cynthia refused to hear them.

 _Life changes. Humans change. But you don't, Simon. And in the end, neither will I._

Drawing strength from the album in her hand, Cynthia neatly shelved her rogue feelings for the Ancient. _And this is why we'll always stand on opposite sides. But I agree with you, Simon: it IS time to bring balance back to this town. So if you get in my way, I WILL dust you._

Without a backwards glance, Cynthia Santiana left the sterile remains of her life as Cynthia DeVarrez behind.

Rupert Giles begrudgingly knotted his tie. Although his smooth hands moved with the same precision they always had, inside he could feel an invisible trembling threatening to destroy his perfect composure.

 _Change. Hmm._

Life had changed so much in the past three months. So many tragedies interspersed with markers bespeaking of duty laced the fabric which bound their small secret society together. Bitter failure had become the familiar taste in Giles' throat, along with questions of self-worth.

Yet through it all, the children had remained strong. Most of all, his Slayer not only held her purpose, she had embraced it. Enough so that she had entered another level of divine protection.

In spite of, or maybe because of, her broken heart.

 _Buffy's love for Angel and her loathing for the depraved beast wearing his body has transformed her into a near-perfect Slayer,_ the Watcher thought with pride. Her determination and dedication to all aspects of her calling was nothing short of miraculous. Most people who had experienced her loss would not have been able to leave their beds. However, Buffy had not faltered once.

A tiny frown creased the space between his brows. _She hadn't, had she? No._ He shook his head and continued with his thoughts. Even though she had taken more and more trips to LA to see her father, well, how could Giles fault her that time? After all, peace ruled the darkest corners of night, even when Buffy was gone. So while alarming at first, the drop in vampire activity eventually became a soothing reminder over how feared his Slayer was by the enemy.

 _Buffy. I couldn't ask for a better girl._

Glancing down at his watch, Giles noted he only had a few minutes left. _Time. Something so intangible, so fragile, holds us all in its phantom grasp,_ he thought with typical maudlin sentiment. His musings slid away as a new one replaced it. A small, triumphant smile stared back at him as he gazed into the mirror. _But not today._

Today was supposed to be the day of death for his remarkable Slayer…but not anymore.

"Rupert?" Jenny poked her head into the bathroom. "We're going to be late for school. C'mon."

"Mmm, of course." Another smile touched the Watcher's lips as he remembered exactly why he was not in his bathroom, but hers. An uncharacteristically wicked glint flashed in his eyes. An image of Jenny sprawled beneath him in passion caused his trousers to suddenly become uncomfortably tight.

The dark-haired gypsy appeared again. "You coming or what, Rupert?" Her gaze pointedly dropped down before roving back up. "Let me rephrase that: are we going to be responsible adults or are we going to play, umm, hooky?"

Giles met her playfully lusty expression without hesitation. "Adults first, Love. Afterwards…" His words trailed off, saying everything by saying nothing.

"Gotcha." Looking over her shoulder, Jenny murmured, "I'd be disappointed in you otherwise…Love."

The Watcher smiled once more before taking a last glance at himself in the mirror. _Perfect._ Everything about his appearance was perfectly British and comfortably staid. Just like his life.

Just like today.

 _Perfect. My life was perfect. Until I met you._

Cordelia impatiently tapped her perfect nails against the leather-wrapped steering wheel as she waited for a certain IMPERFECT someone. Fixing her chocolate gaze on the shabby front porch, she narrowed her eyes, silently commanding him to appear…now!

Nothing.

She let out a sigh of disappointment. _It didn't work._ Several months ago Cordelia would not have been there, too embarrassed to show the world her dirty interest. Several weeks she would've laid on the horn, shrieking her demand of "Hurry up before anyone sees me!" Now, she merely sat in the car and waited, knowing HE seemed to have a personal loathing against punctuality.

Smoothing out the non-existent wrinkle in her mauve skirt, warmed by the morning light, Cordelia Chase thought of perfect worlds and imperfect lives. _Everything was so much easier, so much safer…_ Her wistful thoughts abruptly ended as she caught sight of a discarded gum wrapper wedged underneath the floor mat. Making sure the car was in park, Cordelia leaned down and plucked the offending piece of paper and held it between forefinger and thumb in disbelief. Without another pause she continued her previous thoughts.

 _And so much CLEANER!_ She crumbled the insulting paper into a tiny ball and stuffed it into the car's empty ashtray. Cordelia's fingers resumed their tapping, but her mind wasn't nearly as frantic. _But I love you anyway, Xander Harris._

Mentally counting off all his many, many, MANY flaws, she could hardly fathom how a twisted thrill had evolved to something more. _You're skinny, dorky, sarcastic, mean when you're sarcastic, messy, unfashionable-I mean you wouldn't know Versace from a bagel-_ Cordelia's silent condemnation abruptly ran out of steam as she caught sight of him at the door. Xander lifted his arm in greeting as he poked his head back into the house to yell something unintelligible.

A reluctant smile touched the berry-colored lips. With a sigh she continued. _You're loyal, thoughtful, sincere, brave-you're not afraid of what people think and you'd rather be alone than conform to what they believe. And I'm not that brave. But the more I'm with you, the braver I get. And I have NEVER felt that before._

Waiting for him to open the door and throw his bag in the back, Cordelia sniped in her usual fashion. "That's fine. Don't care about how long I've been sitting out here. I'm just some chauffeur who picks you up for school."

Xander leaned over and gave her a kiss that left her breathless from its sweetness. "Good morning, Cordy," he murmured as he pulled back.

"Morning," she managed to return as she leaned into the hand caressing her cheek. _You don't care about my clothes, my money, or my popularity. You care about ME-not what I can give you._

Cordelia exposed her vulnerability by suddenly asking, "You love me, right?"

Xander's dark eyes softened with sincerity. "I love you, Cordy." His hand found hers and enfolded it tenderly.

"You're not lying, are you?"

"I'd never lie about that."

Satisfied, she slid on her regal pride like a treasured fur. "Better not." Putting the car in drive, she quickly sped down the street. As the morning light grew brighter, Cordelia Chase gave one last thought to perfection.

 _I can proudly wear my hair without split-ends. My clothes can be the best. My car can be better than Harmony's. Everything in my life can be beautiful, but without love it isn't perfect. And the thing is, love ISN'T perfect. I can't understand why I love you, Xander, but I do. And because I know I love you, I'm free. I don't have to hide anymore, I don't have to lie anymore._

Glancing over at the young man bobbing his head to a beat only he could hear, Cordelia smiled. _I don't have to lie anymore._

 _Buffy's been lying. All this time she's been lying._

The secret he unwillingly held had been eating away at his gut since last night, making Oz want to crush the lock beneath his hand. Willow chirped cheerily, as was her habit, about the day ahead, oblivious to the rage steadily growing inside of him.

"Do you think it'd be wrong to throw a party?"

 _She lied to my face. When I asked her about Angelus, she LIED to me! Sleeping with Angel's coat-shit! Why was I so gullible?_

"Oz?"

 _Because I wanted to believe Buffy, that's why!_ Remembering the awkward scene with Buffy's mother the night before, Oz still felt the numbing shock travel all the way down to his toes. _Her house REEKED of them both. I could smell their sex all over the room, especially the couch. And what I didn't smell was rape. It…she…was willing!_

"Did you hear me?"

 _What am I supposed to do now? Go to her and say "Buffy. So you into demons now, huh? Cool." Damnit! I don't know what I'm supposed to do! Maybe I should tell Willow._

The firm shake on his arm tore Oz away from his confused thoughts. "I don't think it'd be wrong," he answered.

Willow blinked several times before finally asking, "What?"

Putting his arm around her, Oz led them towards the stairs. "The party. It wouldn't be wrong."

A happy grin brightened her pretty face. "Ooh, I'm so glad you think so." A little trill of nervous laughter colored the air between them. "I thought maybe it'd be, you know, a little morbid."

 _I can't tell Willow. She'd be totally crushed and I don't think it'd be because of Angelus. Okay, some, but more because Buffy didn't trust her enough to share._ Easily maneuvering his way up the stairs while shielding his girlfriend's body from the crush, Oz found himself thrust back into limbo.

 _How is it any of my business to begin with? Anyway, I hardly knew Angel…_ His thoughts immediately ground to a halt. _Bullshit. I didn't know him long, but he was the only one who helped me through all this…shit. My enemy helped me._

"Maybe it should be a surprise. What do you think?"

"Definitely." _Maybe she has a reason for what she's doing. I mean, why is Angelus off limits to her? He's supposed to be her enemy, but enemies didn't mean anything to Angel. Maybe it doesn't mean anything to Angelus either._

Self-doubt plagued Willow's voice. "Are you sure?"

Reaching the second floor, Oz looked over and asked, "Yeah. Why?" _Oh, hell. That sounds lame even for me. Angelus is all about vengeance and brutality. Angel loved Buffy. That should be enough to make him want to butcher her. So why hasn't he? Why has he been in her house? Why is sleeping with her? And why his is scent on her Mom?_

"Maybe Buffy doesn't like surprises."

 _What should I do?_ Oz pulled Willow closer and brushed a kiss across her temple. "Don't be silly. Everyone loves surprises." Taking advantage of the moment to take in her pleasant scent, the werewolf immediately felt a sense of calm descend. _I'm not going to say anything to anyone. Not even to Buffy. Not until I figure out how I should get involved, even IF I should get involved._

"Think so?" She snuggled closer against him and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Yeah, I think so." His words were meant to be more than an answer to Willow.

"Goody!" Coming to a stop in front of her class, she gave Oz a quick peck on the cheek. "I'll see you later." She turned away before abruptly spinning back. "Oh, and it's going to be a surprise, so don't say anything to her, okay?"

Oz's crystalline gaze lightened with humor. "I know, Will."

Willow's cheeks flushed pinkly as she let out a small laugh and ducked her head. "Sorry. I forgot. I guess I'm just wound up because of today."

"Gotcha." Feeling at peace with his decision, Oz noticed his girlfriend's eyes seemed slightly troubled. "Don't worry, Willow. It'll be fine."

" _ **It'll be fine."**_

The words stayed with Willow all throughout class.

" _ **It'll be fine."**_

They were with her when she got back another perfect test.

" _ **It'll be fine."**_

They were with her when she finally met up with Buffy and gently scolded her for ducking out.

" _ **It'll be fine."**_

They were with her when she accepted her friend's apology of why she couldn't meet up with them last night. "I tried to tell you that I was really tired and wanted a nap, but you hung up. Sorry, Will. Sorry, Oz. I really was asleep by the time you got there. I didn't mean to fall asleep but before I knew it-I was out. Forgive me?"

" _ **It'll be fine."**_

They were with her long after she and Oz watched Buffy walk away.

" _ **It'll be fine."**_

The problem was that it wasn't going to be fine because Willow knew something WAS NOT fine.

Even though she hadn't said much about it to Oz the night before, Willow sensed something just wasn't right in the air at Buffy's house. The knowledge was like a sly tickle in the back of her mind. The more she picked at it, the more it itched.

But Willow couldn't figure out exactly what it was and why she was so bothered. _Maybe it's how the house felt. Cold and quiet, almost dead._ Even now, as she remembered the aura of subdued darkness hanging in the atmosphere, she felt an eerie sense of foreboding hit her.

Blindly staring down at the book in her hand, Willow's pale brow wrinkled in distress as she recalled how strange Buffy's mother had looked. Her eyes had been bright, almost feverish, and she had seemed so upbeat as she told them that Buffy couldn't receive any visitors because she wasn't feeling well.

 _She didn't say that Buffy was asleep. She had said she wasn't feeling well. Why? It could be she just thought that, but I don't know…_

It was just strange.

Oz's behavior only added to her gut feelings of wrongness. _As soon as we walked in, his face went chalky. He looked so sick and even though I asked him about it, he wouldn't tell me. He just kept saying he was fine. That everything was fine. And then today…_

" _ **It'll be fine."**_

Oz still seemed removed and troubled. And although she appeared oblivious to it, Willow knew that what was bothering him was the same thing that bothered her. _Something's wrong and it's not fine._

A few seconds passed as she began chewing on her lip. _Maybe I'm just being sensitive. I should just stick with balloons and party hats._ Willow blew out a small rush of air. _Or maybe not._

However much she verbally focused on throwing a surprise party, she knew she was just trying to make things normal. Well, as normal as Sunnydale could be. However, inside Willow just wanted to find someone, ANYONE, who would tell her she was just being silly. All she wanted was to pretend that everything was okay, especially today.

The bell rang and she dutifully wrote down that night's assignment. Packing up all her things, Willow made her way through the student population and into the hallway. Her thoughts were still troubled, even as she saw Xander and Cordelia.

Suddenly a horribly dark premonition seized her mind.

 _What if what we're feeling is because we're wrong about today? What if Acrymydion never stopped being a threat?_

The thought inspired a silent scream inside of Willow's body. Determination carved lines into her brow and tugged the corners of her pink mouth. Giles and Ms. Calendar couldn't be wrong. Their sources had been checked and triple-checked. No new information had come down the pipes. Buffy was safe today, as far as she could be.

" _ **It'll be fine."**_

Meeting up with the squabbling pair, Willow shared her enthusiasm for a surprise party that night for Buffy. She registered their words of "Outstanding idea, Will!" and "How tacky! Even for you, Willow," with her normal, cheerful disposition.

 _We're not wrong. We've never been wrong. Not about stuff like this. I don't know what happened last night, but it'll be okay. It'll fine. It has to be._

A peaceful smile lifted Willow's lips. "It'll be fine, Cordelia," she murmured soothingly. "Buffy's going to love it. After all, who doesn't like surprises?"

Xander impatiently tapped his pencil against his leg. It was no surprise to know that he was a simple man. He knew this. He wasn't the kind of guy that went looking for trouble. He wasn't the kind of dope who wanted to solve life's never-answered questions.

To be honest, he was a man who enjoyed the finesse of self-imposed stupidity.

His eyes kept drifting towards Cynthia and Brianne. Both girls were slouched in their chairs, their posture even worse than his-as if that were possible-the expressions on their face always cool and disdainful.

Lifting his hand, Xander brought the pencil up to his mouth and began chewing on the soft wood. The action soothed his inner agitation. Sliding his gaze back towards the twin forms of black, he couldn't ignore the feeling that something was wrong.

 _Come on! Quit looking for problems that aren't there!_ he sternly warned himself. _Think about Cordy-her soft brown eyes, her softer brown hair, her even softer brown nipples._ An irreverent grin touched his lips as his mood was instantly restored-along with something else. Shifting in his chair, Xander slipped a hand down his pocket and discreetly rearranged himself.

Satisfied, he glanced up casually and was ensnared by a pair of coal-black eyes. Cynthia's gaze only lasted a few seconds, but when she finally released him, Xander felt his heart begin thudding to an insane rhythm inside his chest.

Raw crimson burst in his cheeks and forehead. Looking down at his desk, he knew she knew EXACTLY what he had been doing. A flare of amusement had curled for a moment in her obsidian eyes before being replaced by something else.

Pity.

The title on Xander's closed book swirled into nonsensical shapes. _What was that look for?_ Braving another glance at Cynthia, he noted her profile. Her expression was remote once more, closed off to the world. Xander turned his gaze back to the teacher and filtered in her words. He may be a man who reveled in self-imposed stupidity, but when the time called for it, he had an uncanny knack for seeing what no one else could.

="" i=""Xander watched as the corner of her mouth sank beneath an invisible weight. _And she's tight. She's wound up, waiting for something._

Xander took a deep breath and let it out quietly. _What is it?_ His mind busily sped through everything he knew about Cynthia in the past months she had been at Sunnydale High-only to come up embarrassingly low.

While she made it a point to have contact with him, the times were few and far between. The days when Xander speculated that she might have a crush on him were long gone. Which left him where?

The droning noise that could only be produced in an academic environment continued in the background. Glancing up, Xander saw the date written in chalk above their day's agenda. _Acry-Dork was supposed to have his day._ He took a deep breath and expelled it out rather noisily.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Harris, but am I boring you that badly?"

"Huh?" Immediately straightening up in his chair, his dark gaze swept the room to see every eye trained on him in voyeuristic humor. A sheepish grin stretched Xander's lips as his fingers began to fiddle with his well-chewed pencil. "No, Mrs. Cary. I just-"

"You just what?" The literature teacher's voice was even, although the smallest hint of a smile played about the corner of her bare mouth. While there was no malice in her expression, Mrs. Cary was clearly enjoying her pupil's discomfort.

Feeling the pricks of his classmates interested gazes like a battery of fork jabs, Xander abandoned the path of cleverness and spoke from his heart. "Mrs. Cary-I'm a simple man. Sometimes I have simple thoughts. My simple thoughts can pass themselves off as boredom. It's just not true. I'm just a…simple man." _Why am I looking for problems that don't exist?_ Xander nodded his head once and waited for the volley that was sure to plow its way through the coarse chuckles of his equally simple-minded, minus one, classmates.

"Mr. Harris?"

"Yes, Mrs. Cary?"

"That may have been the wisest thing you've ever said."

Amidst the groans and good-natured laughs, Xander felt his psyche come to peace. Cynthia was just a girl with her own deal. He was just a guy who wanted to walk the road of least resistance. And for one night he wanted to not think about other people's problems. Not tonight.

 _Just think of how hard we're going to party._

Even though his stern, silent musings left a smear of uneasy peace, Xander leaned back and felt his mouth quirk up in a grin. He refused to look at Cynthia. He refused to let out another sigh. He refused to think about anything other than his simple thoughts.

"My life should've been simple, Miss Edith. It should've been happy. It should've been over."

Druscilla sat perched on the edge of her dainty, damask chair. Her cherished porcelain doll held its place of honor across, the faded inky eyes still managing to hold its audience's stare.

Miss Edith saw all. She saw that which should never be spoken. She saw that which could never be forgotten. She saw that which would never be understood.

A slim white hand reached out and gently grasped a silver handle. Lifting the full pitcher with easy effort, Druscilla poured Miss Edith a cup of tea first before filling her own. After spooning the appropriate amounts of sugar, the vampiress took a sip of the native brew and smiled.

"It's not as strong as it used to be," Druscilla sighed in delight. "But I can still taste it, Miss Edith." Setting her delicate cup down on the pretty matching saucer, the petite vampiress waited patiently for her cherished guest to do the same. Only after their thirst was appeased did Druscilla begin.

"Do you remember how I wanted to marry a good, strong farmer?" She leaned over the table in a conspiratorial fashion. "I actually hoped to set my cap on one who herded sheep," she whispered with a little smile. Pulling away, the pale beauty let out a tiny sigh. "I wanted to have little babies of my own."

A distant scream of terror rent the air, making Druscilla's eyes waver with maniacal glee and human disgust. "I wanted a little boy and two little girls. I would've been a good mum, Miss Edith. I know I would have." The rustle of satin helped drown out the demonic laughter filtering through the factory only slightly. "But then Daddy came."

Miss Edith leaned forward minutely, her charcoal stare intently holding that of her mistress.

Druscilla, unable to meet her beloved confidant's gaze, looked down at her clasped hands. "He said I was bad. When all my family lay there bloody and cold, Daddy said it was because of me. He said it was my fault that they couldn't see me anymore, that they couldn't hear me. He said it was because I saw bad things that I became his. Because of Daddy all my dreams of sheep and babies died."

The screams ended abruptly, even though the laughter continued.

"And then I died."

Druscilla's fist twitched before becoming still. "I'm insane, Miss Edith. I know I am. I was crazy long before…Daddy…Angelus…came to me in that church. I was never going to marry anybody, much less a sheep farmer. I was never going to have babies, not any born on the right side of the blanket."

Several minutes of tense silence slid by. Druscilla lifted her head and caught Miss Edith's questioning stare. "Why? You know why. The whole village knew about my sight." A shadow of pained anger crossed her brow before disappearing. "They whispered about it loudly enough." The vampiress reached out and lifted her cup, sipping the dark liquid delicately. "They were scared of me. Even after all these years, they're still scared of me."

Druscilla looked over her shoulder. The enormous antique bookcase practically groaned beneath the weight of hundreds of porcelain dolls. Their blank eyes flickered with life before settling down to a familiar dead stare.

"Even you too, Miss Edith."

The treasured doll slipped slightly, the muffled sounds of muslin sliding against wood barely making a sound.

In the distance, the echoes of demon sport were over. Only the gruff murmurs of, "Where will we bury 'em?" and "In the back, with the others," reached Druscilla's tiny ears.

The slim vampiress made a "tsking" noise even as she reached across the table. "So clumsy you are, Miss Edith." Placing the doll in a secure, up-right position, Druscilla cooed. "It's fine, luv. I forgive you." Her lilting voice hardened slightly. "Even if you can't ever forgive me." The doll's cracked porcelain texture seemed to assume a pale pink glow before fading away.

"Forgiveness." Druscilla's laughter was wan in the ensuing silence. "Do you know that Angel asked me to forgive him? Not Daddy, but Angel." She ran the tip of a well-tapered nail around the golden rim of her cup. "He asked me to forgive for making me, for bringing in someone to make you."

She cocked her head to the side, the curls of her dark locks brushing softly against her bare arm. "Would you forgive him?"

This time the bookcase groaned, its creaking dreadful and angry.

Druscilla whipped her head about and hissed, "I WASN'T asking YOU, you detestable children. If you continue to test my patience I will lock you in the trunk again." The sounds abruptly stopped.

Satisfied for the moment, she turned back to Miss Edith. In a soft, kind voice, she asked again, "Would you forgive Angel? Would you forgive me?"

Silence greeted the delicate vampiress.

Druscilla sniffed once before raising her head regally. "Of course you wouldn't. But it doesn't matter. I have everything I want. I will be queen again." Her crystalline gaze flickered with pity. "And Daddy won't be king anymore."

Straightening her spine, she allowed the pity to fade. Determination made her lovely eyes hard with ambition. "I will never be his queen if he's king. Only my Spike will grant me that honor. And tonight…tonight…this will be my court again."

Her hands began trembling violently. The antique cup fell onto the saucer, somehow surviving without damage.

She clasped her head tightly as she bowed her shoulders. "But it hurts…oh, how it hurts! I love him, not how I love Spike, but I love him all the same. Once his little bird is gone, Daddy will never be the same. He will lose his crown, his glory, his name. His road is dark and paved with glass. It will tear at his skin, rip his knees to shreds as he crawls in penance!"

A small whimper fled from her throat. She started rocking back and forth, causing the legs of her dainty chair to squeak in protest. There will no chance for him, Miss Edith. None. It started long ago. The moment Grandmother gave Daddy to the night, he's been walking to this…to her!"

Druscilla suddenly stilled, all cries of distress locked in her throat. "I HATE HER! I HATE HER!" The venom in her voice seemed to bring Miss Edith closer. Sharp fangs slid across soft flesh. The vampiress slowly raised her head and locked gazes with the doll.

"You think I shouldn't hate her, don't you? You think I should hate Daddy." An expression of misery glazed Druscilla's blue orbs. "How can you blame me? How can you judge me for loving the one who hurts me…Miss Edith…Mummy…when you made me this way?"

As usual, silence was Druscilla's only answer, just as it was a century before. With a cry of rage, she knocked everything off the table with a sweep of her hand, including the unblinking doll.

Springing up from her chair, she started pacing, the crimson folds of her dress swishing angrily as a result. "That Slayer brought this on herself. She should've stayed away from beautiful, evil gods. She shouldn't have opened her cage to THIS master. He will crush her but not before she crushes him. It isn't my fault! I only SAW it. I didn't make it happen. Do you hear me, Miss Edith? I DIDN'T MAKE IT HAPPEN!"

Collapsing with a strangled cry, Druscilla fell onto the hard, musty floor. Her eyes remained fixed, unblinking. "I couldn't say anything," she whispered. "The old ones came to me. They told me I was to keep my tongue behind my teeth. My Spike knew and they knew that he knew. They said it was alright. They said it was all part of the path."

Shifting her gaze Miss Edith, the vampiress noted their similar positions and felt remorse. "I hurt you again, didn't I?" Druscilla finally closed her eyes and murmured, "I always hurt you. When I speak like a naughty little girl, I hurt you. When I keep quiet like a good little girl, I hurt you. Will you put me in the trunk again, Miss Edith?"

A slight rustle sounded.

"You can't anymore." A crafty smile lit Druscilla's eyes with malicious glee. "Daddy made it so. He made all of you my playthings. He said it was only fair since that was all I was to you. To YOU, to all of YOU, I had no more feelings than a doll. So now I can do whatever I want to you. Daddy gave me the power."

The smile changed to one of fierce pride.

"Daddy can do anything he wants! He can do what the rest of us can't. Daddy is a god." Druscilla rolled onto her back and stared at the blackened ceiling. "I won't be a goddess, but I can be a queen. Tonight I will be a queen and my Spike will be the greatest king."

Her laughter started as a whisper but ended in a roar.

Spike's cold, hard gaze softened as he heard his princess laugh. _Ah, not princess, mate. Queen. Dru will be a queen._

His quarters held not one trace of mutiny. There were no links to tie him to tonight's plot. Only his memories and those of the Three. Arching his foot a bit, Spike grimaced as the familiar impatience dug him down. With a suppressed growl, he pointed his remote at the small television set and began flipping through the channels. The plain cotton sheets beneath did little to warm him, not even the blanket across his lap could penetrate the coldness.

Settling on a trashy talk show, Spike attempted to calm himself. His little liaison had already contacted him the night before, confirming what he already knew through Druscilla. The Prick was going to fall tonight. He and his little slut.

Still, it didn't make the waiting easier. Cynthia's cool words suddenly came to him.

" _ **Spike, you've made it this far. Don't burn out on the final lap."**_

" _ **I'm not a bloody child! Quit speaking to me as if I was!"**_

" _ **Then stop acting like one. I know it's hard for your kind, but attempt to use what frontal lobe you have left and think."**_

" _ **We're all just animals to you, aren't we peaches?"**_

" _ **No. I like animals. They serve a purpose. They don't kill and maim and torture just for the fun of it."**_

" _ **Neither do we."**_

" _ **Ah, really? So the name Spike just came about on a whim? It had nothing to do with railroad spikes being driven through the flesh of your victims?"**_

" _ **You have no idea what it's like."**_

" _ **No, I don't. I don't know what it's like to justify using superior strength as a reason to be cruel to those who are weaker."**_

" _ **Pray that you never do, sweetness. You just might find it's not as easy as you think it is. But maybe you'll get to find that out for yourself tomorrow night."**_

" _ **Look on your own paper, Spike. Not mine. You want Sunnydale, right? My organization is willing to give it to you. All you have to do is supply the bait."**_

" _ **Don't I always? And you'll supply the little doves. I thought you said you don't hold with bullying the weak?"**_

" _ **The greater good, Spike, the greater good."**_

" _ **Sure, tell yourself that. That makes you different from us, doesn't it? It doesn't make you as much a piece of shit as us?"**_

" _ **You feel better now?"**_

" _ **Actually I do."**_

" _ **Good. Just sit tight, Spike. Angelus is hanging himself tonight and all you need to do is watch."**_

 _Cold little bird that one is._ However right Cynthia might be, Spike couldn't help but feel unmanned by the whole situation. Planting seeds of discord and subterfuge was one thing. It required subtleness and illusion. But for the final battle, Spike preferred to show his face and not hide behind a fucking wheelchair.

"Damnit!" Instead of laying in this bed, he should be on the front lines kicking ass! Clenching his jaw tightly, Spike blew dead air out of his nostrils. Another moment passed before he started chuckling. That bird was right about one thing: he WAS acting like a child.

 _Oh, Miss Watcher Bitch, why can't I gut Irish before he swings?_

No, he had made it this far with his hide intact. Angelus' mounting obsession with Fluffy had given Spike enough freedom to grow a crop of rebellion. Angelus' stupidity came through his cock, like it always did.

When the harvest came, Spike would have sickle in hand and be there to deliver one of the last killing blows.

Mood restored, the blond vampire settled his focus on the television. The 'guests' on stage were in the middle of screaming profanities at one another. The baseness of their actions amused Spike tremendously.

"Bloody humans. Without a firm hand over them, this is what they amount to. A pile of meat that makes noise."

Father Marion sat at his desk quietly. He stared blindly at the carpet, the sounds drifting in from the chapel doing nothing to move him. The power of sermons and the holy word could not rouse him out of the depression settling over his form. The sunlight streaming in through the stained glass created beautiful shadows on the conservative carpet he stared at with such fixation. Simple, natural beauty could not move him. Not today.

 _Humanity. No matter how high Man seeks to fly, in the end he's only human. Nothing natural can change it._

 _ **One moment in time  
Led by countless  
Freedom is desired  
Choice is courted  
Decision is by one  
Only one**_

How well he knew the words! They came to mock me, to prove that despite his holiness, despite his beliefs, he was no different from the ones he sought to protect-flawed and weak. The collar around Father Marion's throat seemed to tighten. He resisted the temptation to run his finger between neck and cloth. It wouldn't help because it was illusion. An illusion like everything in Sunnydale. An illusion like Buffy's life.

An illusion like Father Marion.

A solitary tear rolled down his smooth, youthful cheek.

The scent of smoke and candles reached his nose.

A grimace tightened his mouth.

 _ **Life yet unknown  
Choices yet unmade**_

 _ **must not see nor be seen  
must not hear nor be heard  
by the creature**_

 _ **If so foolish  
Tragedy will befall  
Destiny will be set**_

 _ **The choice must be made by one  
The choice must be made without gifts  
Only the gift of ignorance**_

 _ **The choice must be made  
Alone  
By one  
Only one**_

"Humans all choose their own path," the desolate man whispered to the empty room. "No matter how dark their alternatives, no matter how ignorant they may be to the final outcome, humans all choose their own path."

Father Marion would die tonight. He knew he would. In the end, he knew that it would come to that.

"Oh, Buffy. Why did you make this choice? Why couldn't you see past your heart? Why?"

He already knew the answers. He already knew the outcome. He already what would happen.

Father Marion would die.

And so would Buffy.

And then her suffering would truly begin.

Another tear slipped down, falling to land on the cross around his neck.

"Buffy." The word was drawn out in the suffering tone only a mother could make. Bending down to pick up the pieces of clothes scattered across the floor, Joyce began humming to herself. It was such a pretty day. She was tempted to take the laundry outside and let it air dry.

 _I haven't done that since Buffy was a little girl,_ she mused to herself. A sparkle suddenly caught her eye. Going down on her knees, Joyce peered beneath the dresser. There was definitely something shiny there. She put down her messy bundle and reached out.

Feeling past a stray dust bunny, her fingers closed around the sparkly object. Joyce sat back on her legs and looked at the treasure in her hand. A hairpin. Peering closely at the jewel, Joyce realized in shock that it wasn't paste like she assumed but a sapphire.

 _I've never seen this before. Where did she get it?_ Joyce quickly ran through all possibilities. It wasn't from her or Buffy's grandmother. Hank? No, she was pretty sure it didn't come from him. Although she and her father appeared to be getting closer, as her recent visits to him showed, Joyce was sure that she hadn't seen this among all the other things brought home.

A frown creased her brow as she stared down at the beautiful pin. Without realizing it, she found herself whispering, "Did a man give this to her? But who?"

Angel.

The urge to be sick hit her, causing Joyce to drop the pin. Clutching her stomach she let out a shaky laugh. Where did that come from? Of course, it wouldn't be Angel. Why would it ever be Buffy's tutor?

The quicker her mind danced away from Angel, the better she felt. Joyce took a deep breath and reached for the fallen pin. "Hank." It had to be him. No one else would've given Buffy such an expensive gift.

Brushing the hair off her face, Joyce belatedly realized how much the suspicion of Buffy with her tutor was making her sick. Every time she contemplated a personal relationship between the two, she felt nauseous.

Although she was embarrassed to admit it, she did find Angel attractive. Very much so. Once, for a very short period of time, she thought he had an interest in her. If he had, it disappeared for he was always courteous and polite with her, but nothing more.

Joyce was fine with it. Buffy came first. _It wouldn't have ever worked anyway. Buffy would've hated it._ Vaguely she wondered if her daughter had been jealous. A sharp pang tightened about her gut. _No, of course not. Buffy isn't like that. She's not interested in Angel. She never talks about him and she hardly treats him like a crush. No, she treats him like a teacher._

The pain immediately receded.

Depositing the pin on Buffy's dresser, Joyce made a mental note to call Hank in the evening. She'd tell him to make sure he let her know if he bought their daughter any more extravagant gifts. She leaned down and picked up the bundle of dirty clothes.

 _Angel. What was I thinking?_

Angel was committed to her daughter's success, more so than Buffy's own father, and because of that, she would forever be in his debt.

Because of Angel's help, Buffy's grades had risen dramatically. Her last report card boasted of a line filled with A's. There was no reason to think that it was a passing trend. Buffy earned those grades and would continue to do so.

Now she could look forward to going to a good college. From there it was a step to a great job, a lucky husband, and beautiful children.

Closing the door to her daughter's room, Joyce smiled brilliantly. Buffy's future was so bright. She could hardly wait to see how wonderful it would turn out to be.

"What will the future hold? What will it be?"

Simon held his fingertip on top of the quarter while his other hand kept flicking it. Satisfied with its speed, he carefully removed his hold and watched as the dull coin spun dizzily. As it slowed, the metal disk began to wobble.

"Up or down. Heads or tails. Which way will you fall?" His crystal eyes narrowed as he predicted, "Heads." The desire to reach out and influence the outcome was strong, but Simon resisted the urge.

The coin's descent grew slower and bigger. Finally it fell, but not before slapping the table several times and sending its echoes around the room.

"Tails."

A crooked grin lifted the corner of Simon's mouth. "After all these centuries, I still make a crappy gambler." Leaning back against his chair, the enigmatic vampire calmly thought of the upcoming night's events. The balance of the world was shifting, much like the coin did earlier, but it too would find its way.

Only there were those who were determined to force it to their will.

"Cynthia."

An image of his darling girl appeared, her black eyes alternately alight with laughter and fury. Simon's hand pulled open a desk drawer of its own accord. Without looking down he felt for the pictures by memory and pulled them out.

Placing them in front of him, the blond vampire sat still for several moments. A Polaroid image of a tiny pre-adolescent girl next to much larger man peered back.

 _It's been eight years. A long time to be sure, but it's only felt like a few seconds._

Simon loved this picture for many reasons, one being that it was their first. Sitting on the steps of the local library, they had both smiled for the camera, seemingly without a care in the world. The takers had been a tourist couple, new to Dallas and all its Texan delights. He and Cynthia had agreed to let the couple test their new camera, even though both had been on their way to meet with a demon informant in the library basement.

Idly he wondered if the tourists thought him her father. Maybe. After all, the Gods above could testify to how he had been her protector. _I protected her, even when she didn't want it. So why wasn't I there when she really needed me?_

Carefully moving the top picture to the side, Simon sifted through his precious stack until he was staring at a fifteen-year old Cynthia. The school photo was small, wallet-sized and typical of yearbook pictures. Stock gray background with a head and shoulders shot of the subject. The picture may have been typical, but Cynthia wasn't.

Her purple shirt was baggy, neatly hiding the blossoming form beneath. A narrow headband held back her ebony curls and unlike other pictures of the past, her smile was dazzling.

Simon remembered their conversation from the night before her sitting so well.

" _ **Don't forget to smile this year."**_

" _ **Why? It really doesn't matter. It's just another shitty yearbook photo. They all turn out bad."**_

" _ **Cynthia…"**_

" _ **Sorry, sorry. I forgot you don't like cursing."**_

" _ **You don't sound sorry, but never mind. I can't stay annoyed at you when you smile at me like that."**_

" _ **Do you really mean it?"**_

" _ **I do."**_

" _ **Alright then."**_

" _ **What?"**_

" _ **I'll give you a smile so big, so wide that you won't ever be able to stay mad at me, no matter what I do. Every time you get annoyed with me, you'll have to take my picture out and then forgive me."**_

" _ **I don't need a picture for that, Cyn. I could never stay mad at you. And I'd ALWAYS forgive you."**_

" _ **Just remember, Simon. When I smile tomorrow, know that I'm smiling just for you."**_

An image of Cynthia's face, bandaged and bruised, came to mind. It overlaid itself across the picture in front of him with hideous determination.

The breathing tube had been obscene, but not nearly as obscene as the swelling in her tissues. Cynthia's beautiful face had been monstrous, swollen to nearly twice its normal size. The damage to her body had been just as grotesque.

The doctors hadn't been sure if she would ever regain consciousness and if she did, they were sure she'd have inoperable brain damage.

But Cynthia was strong. Even then she had been strong. It wasn't until later that her strength abandoned her…

She had come out of her coma, only to find what little ragged world she had left was gone. Her mother and Carolina. Gone. Only Cynthia had been left.

Simon felt the pain behind his eyes beg for release. His cerulean orbs steadily turned to crimson as he questioned himself once again.

"I should've told her then how much I love her. I should've told her yes. I should've taken her with me. I should NOT have let THEM keep her. But how was I to know? How?"

" _ **Simon, please! I love you! Don't leave me! You're all I have left now."**_

" _ **No, I'm not. You have-"**_

" _ **NO! I don't want that life anymore!"**_

" _ **It's what you've been working for all these years. It's what you gave up your childhood for. Don't throw that away."**_

" _ **My childhood was gone the moment I came into this fucked up world! Don't you see, Simon? It didn't work, Simon. Don't you see? I didn't work! I was rejected and now I'm only human. They don't have use for me now."**_

 _But the Watchers did have use for her. The helicopters and military force surrounding them both eloquently spoke for that truth._

" _ **I love you, Simon. I don't care if I die one day. I don't care if you get tired of me. I don't care if I have to share you. Just…don't turn away from me. Take me with you. Please."**_

" _ **No."**_

Simon's grief shuddered through his lean form. Tiny ruby spots dropped onto his pale hand. Carefully to keep his precious pictures clean from his misery, Simon wiped his eyes with his other hand. The blood crept into his skin's small crevices, staining them with the proof that he would never lose his humanity. As long as he was alive, as long as he existed, no matter what form he had, Simon would always be human.

And that was why no matter how many centuries had passed he was capable of unknowingly inflicting great harm on the one he loved.

At the time, he had thought it was best for Cynthia to be under the protection of her ancient organizations. He had wanted her to be strong. He hadn't wanted to be the center of her world. If he had taken her, he thought she would wilt and fade away, just as how most fiercely independent people did. With no identity, no purpose other than to be with him, she would dissolve into nothingness. It would've become a socially acceptable form of slavery.

And he hadn't wanted that for her!

Simon hadn't wanted her to lose her spark, to become a shell of a person, dependant solely upon him.

Simon had wanted Cynthia to be strong, not soulless.

Raising her picture to his lips, he gave the inanimate image a gentle kiss. The memory of their last words still brought pain to his heart.

" _ **This town is small enough that I'm sure we'll meet again."**_

" _ **I'm afraid you're wrong Simon. We may see other, but we won't be meeting again. Consider this a warning between old friends: if you ever come inside my apartment again, I'll be sweeping you with the trash that same day. I promise you."**_

Cynthia believed her words. She meant them. She would stake the one man, vampire she ever loved.

And that was why Simon was going to break his own rule and interfere.

Holding the treasured picture close to his breast, he whispered solemnly, "I won't let you destroy yourself, Niña. That is the one thing I will not allow."

Angelus lay still and unmoving, even though Buffy had left several hours before. An arrogant glint brightened his eyes as he amended his memory. _Since I ALLOWED her to leave._

Buffy had no idea he had been awake during her entire early-morning vigilance. The urge to keep her with him had been strong, but in the end Angelus had let her go. The world was a different place than it once was. Buffy could not survive in it if she was ignorant.

Therefore school was a necessary evil.

"Ah, but it is becoming harder to allow her to go…" the dark vampire whispered as he touched the golden collar by his pillow.

The alluring, innocent scent of Buffy's body still clung to Angelus like a second skin while the delicious taste of her stayed in his mouth.

Beneath the sheets his cock sprang up, mutely demanding the return of his mate. Reaching down with one hand, Angelus began stroking himself. It wasn't enough, but it was still good.

 _Maybe I am just a fucking animal,_ he thought through the dancing mists of pleasure. _All I want in my life is to feed, fuck, and play. There is nothing deeper than that in my non-existent soul._

Angelus rapidly brought his hand up and down, seeking release without courting, without civilized movements. It was all about lust. Within seconds he felt the familiar burn wash over him, yet his eyes remained open and his face betrayed not one bit of pleasure.

" _ **I never told you. I almost did, but you didn't want to hear it. If I died today I would've been happy-happy as I could be-after last night."**_

What the hell had she meant by that? Normally, Angelus would've just demanded an answer, but something had held him back. It still held him back.

" _ **Why do I feel as if forever is gone?"**_

Buffy's melancholy words whispered in his ear, tormenting with the knowledge that he too felt the same.

"Hmph." Rolling to his side, Angelus experienced a burst of impatience. ="" i=""A golden strand of hair caught his attention, easily cutting through the vampire's self-directed anger.

Languidly reaching for it, Angelus made sport of twirling the long wisp about his finger. Buffy. No matter what he did, no matter how many others he lost himself in, it always came back to Buffy.

His bitch.

His whore.

His sun.

 _My sun?_ Angelus flung himself out of the bed and angrily stalked to past the viewing room into the bathroom. Habit caused him to stop by the pond and feed his hungry fish. Blindly staring down at the smooth, gliding bodies, Angelus remembered when he first saw Buffy here playing with his fish.

The sex afterwards had been incredible. But it paled in comparison to what they had now.

It was what Angelus wanted. He wanted Buffy to be his completely. He wanted her dependant on his every whim. He needed her to be unable to BREATHE without thinking of him.

He needed…

He needed…

He needed his space.

" _ **You scared of a little joy, Buff?"**_

Angelus' mocking words came back to haunt him. In the end, he was the one scared of joy. Last night he had been utterly happy for once in his damned existence. Perhaps it could've been termed perfect happiness.

" _ **If you could, would you?"**_

…

" _ **Would you?"**_

…

" _ **Would you?"**_

" _ **Yes."**_

" _ **You know it'd be forever, don't you?"**_

" _ **Isn't it already forever?"**_

" _ **Yes, it is."**_

Angelus stepped into the mammoth shower and subjected his body to a blistering spray of heat. Looking down, he noted how his skin quickly took on the appearance of life. The temptation of his thoughts slunk towards a dangerous line of thinking.

"Buffy…"

Images of his lover swollen with his child tortured Angelus. The desire to leave something of himself behind in the world mocked the vampire even as it pitied him. He could clearly see her holding an infant, one with his dark hair and her bright eyes.

Angelus could imagine the years passing, years filled with a certain kind of peace, as they raised their son together. He could even picture the home he would buy for them. Home? No, more like palace. Only a palace would be worthy for the mother of his child and heir.

Leaning his head against the marbled wall, Angelus commanded his mind to cease its useless journey.

Defiant, it continued.

He could see Buffy growing older, her hair dark from nature, until it finally grew light again. Only with grey. He could feel the texture of her skin as it became creased and fragile from age. He could hear her final breath. He could see himself standing next to their son, their immortal hands filled with dirt from her very mortal grave.

Pain twisted its poisoned claws in his gut. Angelus growled at the sensations coursing madly through his body. Panic gave birth to the need to escape, to leave Sunnydale and never look back.

Angelus finished his absolutions with an angry hand. Storming out of the shower, he despised the light coming through the protective windows. Unless he fancied crawling through the sewers, Angelus would be forced to stay inside until nightfall.

Snatching a towel out of the armoire, he roughly dried his hair before attacking his body. It was sick! He and Buffy had been attached at the crotch for too long. He'd have to remedy the situation immediately.

The Cavern.

Tonight he would take Dru out. Buffy would just have to sleep alone tonight.

 _Just like she will when she's dust in the ground?_

The question took him by surprise and opened up a festering wound of fear.

Stalking into his bedroom, Angelus felt the walls coming closer, filling him with a panic so strong, so insistent he nearly gagged.

 _Stay with her tonight. Don't see anyone else and stay with Buffy tonight._

The thought instantly soothed his desperation.

"No. No. NO!" Angelus left his room, suffocated by her scent, by her presence. Feeling as if the most vicious demon was pursuing him, he fled to the only room without Buffy's ghost. Slamming the office door shut, Angelus impatiently waited for the room's contents to soothe his agitation. His eyes wild with barely contained madness lit upon the proof of his power.

Grabbing the crucifix, Angelus held it to his skin. There was no pain, no burning. The metal felt cool to the touch, almost comforting. The vampire collapsed in his chair, fingers still clutching the symbol of Christianity, and laughed. The laughter grew louder until it was a mighty shout.

Abruptly Angelus fell silent.

He closed his eyes and whispered aloud, "She means to much too me. Her body has become my existence. So much so that THIS doesn't matter as much as it should. Only in that I can't be kept away from her by Christian means anymore."

" _ **Oh, please!"**_

" _ **Do you want it harder?"**_

" _ **Only if it…ah…please you, Angelus."**_

" _ **Angelus?"**_

" _ **M-Master!"**_

" _ **Faster?"**_

" _ **Mmm…please...Master!"**_

" _ **Do you love me?"**_

" _ **Yes! I live to…ah…love…oh…you!"'**_

"And now I existent to suffer her love." Closing his fingers tightly, he felt the image of Christ dig into his skin. "I have power above the darkest vampire and yet…"

Angelus was not who he once was.

His madness did not blaze forth to consume the whole world, only Buffy's.

"Every time she gets too close, I push her away. I make her cry and push her away. Then I bring her back. I kiss her and hold her and make her feel as if she's a goddess. I revel in her sweetness. I live for her laughter, for her joy. Then it starts all over again."

Opening up his hand, Angelus stared at the cross without the heady thrill of mastery and triumph. "No matter how strong I am, with her I'm weak. My success means very little if I can't control how I feel."

Laying the cross on the table with careful hand, Angelus turned his chair towards the window. He pulled back the curtain and peered at the lazy street below.

City Hall looked back at him, silently reminding him what the penthouse ultimately meant.

Payment for Buffy's death.

His voice turned inwards, locked away in the front of his mind. _At the end of the night, I'm nothing but a paid demon. I was paid to kill her. To kill Buffy. And she doesn't even fucking know it._ Angelus' eyes turned hard but remorseful. _I've done many shitty things in my time, but I've never broken my word. If I said I was going to do something, it was done._

Now Angelus was a caricature of the demon he once was. Traces of Angel's memory were taking over him-at least that was how it felt. Nothing seemed black and white anymore. It was all gray.

Was he truly evil? Would he kill Buffy?

A frown of disgust marred his handsome continence. He already made his decision to keep her by his side! Why was he doubting himself?

 _Because it's all different now. I've broken vampire law and reckoning will come._

Angelus had dispatched of Buffy's assassins, assassins HE had called, and it was never done. As long as the Slayer killed those who opposed her, it was fine. But Angelus had interfered, his damnable fear and obsession clouding his mind, and he had murdered his own kind.

The vampire world would eventually find out.

 _No. I can control this. I'll call them off. The clans will just assume the Slayer did it. No one will ever know._

However, Angelus felt hollow inside. His kingdom of sin was crumbling about him and his power no longer could satisfy the ache inside. Buffy was destroying him and he knew it. If he had any real sense of self-preservation, he would kill her and be done with it.

" _ **Safe. You're safe."**_

" _ **You came. They told me you wouldn't."**_

" _ **Safe."**_

" _ **I'm sorry that I believed them."**_

" _ **I can't risk you anymore."**_

" _ **Angelus?"**_

" _ **Close your eyes, my love."**_

If Angelus could see the expression on his face he would've howled. Naked pain transformed the coldness in eyes, leaving them vulnerable and miserable. "I can't kill her because I adore her. I adore her so much," he murmured in a tortured voice. "I've never treated any of my mistresses as cruelly as I have her-not without extreme provocation. None of my mistresses have ever loved me as much as she has. Not even Druscilla. I'm always calling her bitch, whore, or slut. And she forgives me. She accepts me."

Angelus was now in a hell of his own making. Every eye was trained on him. _When will he kill the Slayer?_ they all whispered. Although he commanded awe because of his conquest, eventually that awe would turn to questioning, if it already hadn't.

To keep his power, he was expected to kill Buffy. To keep Buffy, he would lose his power. Power meant everything.

Self-doubt equaled weakness.

Weakness equaled loss of power.

Loss of power equaled the end of his existence.

The Slayer was going to lead to all three.

"I can't deal with this right now," Angelus muttered grimly. He'd find a way to keep himself occupied until nightfall. Then he'd forget. He'd lose himself to his base desires and forget all about it.

Buffy's words once more came through to haunt him.

" _ **Why do I feel as if forever is gone?"**_

Angelus closed his eyes and answered, "It's not gone, baby. It's not."

And deep in the pits of his own truth, the tormented vampire knew he was lying. He just didn't know why.


	34. Chapter 34

The course of a life can change with just one action.

Just like that.

Sometimes it's big. Other times, it's so miniscule, so very unnoticeable that a person may never know that THAT was THE one. They are too poignantly ignorant to realize THAT was the act to cause it all to crumble.

For Buffy it could've been the night she kept her hairpin from sliding into Angelus' chest, even though her instant death was assured. It could've been before, when she stayed with Angel even when he had wanted them to keep their mutual passion imprisoned under the bitter-sweetness of denial. Or maybe it was much later, when she allowed Angelus to manipulate his way into her lonely bed.

Maybe.

But it wasn't.

Buffy was damned to dance to a song of lies the moment she came out of her mother's womb.

She just never knew it.

"So what's the plan tonight, Buff?"

Looking up from her book, the blond girl frowned in thought before shaking her head. "Nope. Don't have one, Xander."

"Hmm, what's this?" Ducking his head so he could see the front cover, Xander slowly read, "Rituals for Exorcism by the Thonga of Natal." His cheerful gaze met hers. "Nice." Carefully taking the book out of her hand, lest Giles take offense at his unintentional, yet brutish treatment, Xander grinned crookedly and chided, "C'mon, Slayer. You gotta have at least some idea."

"About moon based exorcisms or plans for tonight?"

The library was quiet, deserted as usual, but there was a decidedly festive air about the place. Giles and Jenny were busy reorganizing their present stash of occult reference just so they could add a new batch of musty goodness. Willow, Oz, and Cordelia were conspicuously missing, but earlier Xander had mentioned they all planned on stopping by the library in about an hour.

"Take your pick."

Buffy put her elbows on the table and rested her chin on crossed hands. "Uh, I don't know…maybe I'll just decide to make my way to the Bronze."

"And?"

"And maybe I'll just decide to wander over to the table my friends usually hang out at."

"And?"

"And maybe I'll be in total shock when my friends yell, 'Surprise!' before screaming, 'Oh, my God! How did you guys keep this a secret?'"

Xander's crooked grin expanded into a full-blown smile. "Good girl!"

Buffy shifted her hands and held them beneath her chin before panting.

At that particular moment Giles chose to glance up from the midst of his mini-fortress of books.

Dropping her pose, she asked sweetly, "Need any help?"

A slight smile touched the Watcher's lips. "No, thank you. Miss Calendar and I have this under control."

Shrugging in response, Buffy asked Xander, "So where's Cordelia?"

"Getting some stuff at Party City." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet of Big Red. "Want one?"

"Sure." Taking the proffered stick of gum, she quickly unwrapped the foil and popped the cinnamon sweet into her mouth. "What's she getting?"

Xander held up one finger. He worked his jaw several times before answering, "No deal, Buffster. I already spilled the beans on this one. No way am I going to spoil the color coordination plans."

Buffy laughed unrepentantly. She had known Willow was bound to want to throw a party, no matter how morbid, and today was definitely a day to have a party. No matter how morbid. She should've just let it lie there, but Buffy found she couldn't. In the end, it had taken only a couple of candy bars to get Xander to confess.

"What about Willow and Oz?"

"Same place." His face took on a look of concentration as furiously chewed.

"It took three of them to go to Party City?" A voice in Buffy's head warned her that she should stop bedeviling Xander, but she ignored it. She was having too much fun.

"I guess."

 _Voice pattern definitely sounding evasive._ "Really?"

"Mmm." Xander began tapping the table with his fingers, deftly avoiding her gaze.

"Really?" she coyly repeated while shifting her body until they were on eye-level again.

The dark-haired boy abruptly stopped chewing. "What?"

Buffy kept silent, her mouth lifting with a tiny smirk. Her hazel gaze bored into his, silently demanding an answer.

Apparently Xander felt its force because he reared his head back and howled. "That's so unfair, Buffy! Your eyes go all gooey and creepy-like-I can't fight that!"

The Slayer blinked in surprise. "Creepy?"

"Yeah. You had this stare." Xander's cheeks took on a rosy glow. "It was like I had no will against it." Seeing her embarrassed expression, he forced himself to give a mock-shudder. "Next thing you know, I'd give up my Cordy to follow you around. I'd be your butt-monkey, Buffy! HOW awkward would THAT be?"

On cue, Buffy chuckled. However, she couldn't help but feel a little awkward herself. Was her stare a result of being so close to Angelus? She knew exactly what Xander had meant. She had suffered herself beneath her lover's hypnotic gaze too many times to count. However, Buffy never knew she was capable of producing such power herself.

 _Sorry. I didn't meant to. I was just playing._

Xander may have passed it off as a joke, but the uncomfortable truth was there. Perhaps layered beneath the folds of humor and disbelief, but there was no way to hide the nervousness in his tone.

 _Angelus. Do you really bring out the best in me? Or are you making me into something just like you?_

"So, Buffy, you know if Willow and Cordy find out that I let you in on the surprise party, they'll roast me, right?"

Tearing her mind away from the persistence of thoughts with no pretty answer, she called up a lighthearted grin. "But they're not going to find out." Her slender brows dropped a bit. "Hold still."

"What?"

With one finger she reached out and wiped a smudge of chocolate from his mouth.

"What are you doing?"

Satisfied with her actions, Buffy nodded smartly. "Destroying evidence."

"Huh?" Seeing the bit of cocoa on his friend's finger, Xander grinned wryly. "It's my weakness. Thanks for the sharp eye. If Cordelia had seen that, it wouldn't take long for her to put the pieces together."

"Why?" As she waited for his answer, Buffy realized how long it had been since she and Xander talked like this. It was fun to just be able to hang out and kid around.

Thrusting his lip out in a pout, the dark-haired youth replied sullenly, "Because she thinks that anyone can get me to do anything for chocolate."

"Can they?"

A sheepish expression took over the childish one. "Yep."

Both friends erupted into shared laughter as they leaned into one another for support. Perhaps drawn by their innocent glee, Jenny glided up to the table and took a seat on the edge. "Having fun, guys?"

Gasping for breath, Buffy nodded her head and squeaked out, "Tons."

"Yeah, Miss Calendar." Xander took a deep breath and attempted to keep his hilarity under some semblance of control. "Why don't you ditch the books and stay on this side of the library?" he asked with a mischievous grin.

Giles' head popped up from his beloved stack. "I could ask the same of you, Xander."

"What?" he good-naturedly groaned. "Buffy asked if you needed help and you said no."

"I said no to her, not to you," the Watcher pointed out in a crisp accent.

"Oh." His grin faded slightly. "Do you need some help?"

"Actually, I do."

Xander's chagrined expression inspired two discreet, feminine chuckles. Getting up from the table with a heavy sigh, he muttered, "A simple man that's what I am. Simple as in stupid. I totally walked into that one!"

Two sets of eyes followed his progress across the room for a moment before turning to each other.

Faced with the pagan's pleasant expression, Buffy couldn't help the whisper of discomfort flaring inside. Despite all that had happened in the past few months, the Slayer still felt strange being around Miss Calendar. Originally it stemmed from betrayal, now it stemmed from fear…

"How have you been, Buffy?"

"Umm, fine."

The dark-haired woman nodded once, her hair brushing against her lovely cheekbones suddenly reminding Buffy of someone else. Eyes widening with shock and more than a touch of embarrassment, the blonde girl ducked her head. For just a moment, Jenny Calendar had reminded her of Celeste. Although Buffy hadn't spoken a word to either Celeste or her lover Anwaar, the demon couple from Angelus' party made its mark on her.

" _ **Fuck you in the ass until you come..."**_

" _ **Do you promise?"**_

Buffy's mind widened to remember other things.

" _ **Tell me lover, is it Angel who has you panting, or me?"**_

 _NO!_

"Is something the matter, Buffy?" Jenny's dark, watchful eyes swept the younger girl in concern.

Quickly shaking her head, Buffy lied and murmured, "No. Just a bit tired, that's all."

"What's the matter, Buff?" Xander asked while walking by with a stack of well-dusted volumes. "Not getting enough sleep?" Without waiting for an answer, he loudly cried, "Not that I blame you for being tired, considering how certain unnamed librarians like to work their impressionable, kind, gullible students to death!"

"Back to work, Xander," Giles evenly ordered. His gaze, however, sparkled with good humor.

Buffy felt the tension leave her body. There was no reason to be so skittish around Miss Calendar. The computer-science teacher had done more than her share over the months to show how sorry she was for keeping vital information concerning Angel to herself. If anyone understood the need to keep things to herself, Jenny was the one.

The Slayer's stomach quivered a bit.

But that was the reason why she felt so wary around her.

Now that Buffy was a consummate liar, she feared that someone, ANYONE, would be able to see through it. Of all the people surrounding her, she feared Miss Calendar would have the eyes of experience to detect when someone was lying with all her worth.

Buffy let out an inaudible sigh and mustered the focus to pretend to be someone else. "Even though I'm a little tired, I'm not too tired to love that dress. It's tres chic, Miss Calendar! Where'd you get it?"

The older woman smiled. "Thank you, Buffy. I got it from the Gap."

"The Gap? Really?" A sly expression lifted the corner of her eyes. "Don't you think it's pretty, Giles?"

"Hmm? Pretty?" The Watcher lifted his chin to peer over the top of his spectacles. "Yes, it is. Her dress is quite fetching."

Buffy's brows lifted slightly. _No blushing or stammering. Wait. Has something already happened between those two?_ Before she could make a teasing comment or two, her cell phone began ringing.

Glancing around for her bag, Buffy remembered she left it on the other side of the table. Instead of asking Jenny to pick it up for her, Buffy decided to get it herself. Leaning over the table, her fingers had just brushed the bag when she heard, "Oh, how pretty!"

Buffy froze. _No, no, no! I could NOT have been that sloppy! I am truly not that STUPID!_

A delicate finger gently touched the jewelry peeking from beneath her waistband. "This chain is simply gorgeous!"

 _Yes. Yes I am that stupid._ The cell phone continued ringing. What could she say?

"I have one too, but mine is just silver. Is this real?"

 _Real. Oh. Oh, God. Yeah, it's real. It's ridiculously real._ Snatching her bag off the floor, Buffy quickly turned her phone's ringer off. _Angelus is going to be so pissed at me!_ With a steady smile on her lips, she turned to face Miss Calendar. "No, it's fake but it looks pretty cool, huh?"

Admiration bright in her dark eyes, Jenny replied, "More than cool. Stunning really. Where'd you get it?"

 _Shit!_ "Umm, I can't remember the name of the store but it was in L.A." Discreetly glancing down at her phone, Buffy looked to see if Angelus had called again. He hadn't. "I got it when I visited my Dad last time. Next time I go, I'll see if I can pick one up for you."

"Thank you, Buffy. But that's not necessary. Just the name of the store would be great. Or their web address. That would be even better."

"Sure thing." _Please can we talk about something else?_

"Your phone stopped ringing," Jenny pointed out unnecessarily.

"Yeah. I guess they hung up."

"Do you think it was important?"

 _More than you'd ever know._ "Nah. If it was, whoever it was would call back."

"What's fake?" Xander inquired breezily while taking a seat.

 _Oh good. Something even more uncomfortable._ "My chain."

"What chain?" he asked while automatically looking at her neck.

Buffy's gaze slid to Miss Calendar, waiting to see if she was going to elaborate. The dark-haired woman merely shook her head slightly.

Realizing that avoiding the subject would make her look guiltier, the Slayer answered nonchalantly, "My waist chain."

"Waist chain?" An appraising smile appeared on his lips. "S-e-x-y. Can I see?"

"Xander Harris! Are you trying to tempt death?"

Holding his hands up in a placating gesture, the teenage boy cried, "Hold up, Slayer! Just trying to be nice here. No need to threaten me."

Buffy lightly cuffed the side of his head. "Not me, dummy!" She waited until he finished rubbing his scalp before finishing. "Cordelia would KILL you if she heard you say the word sexy much less asked to see my chain."

Miss Calendar laughed softly. "She's got a strong point there, Xander."

"Fine." Crossing his arms, the slighted male huffed, "See if I ever pay attention to any of your girly stuff again."

Buffy rolled her eyes and shook her head. _I think I got out of that one. I hope._ Apparently she had, because all too soon the three of them were chattering about everything and nothing. It was so much easier for Buffy to enjoy Jenny's company with Xander to serve as an unwitting buffer.

Despite the damper of lies and fear, she eagerly reached out grabbed onto the happiness surrounding her. The camaraderie in this room was her anchor, her light amidst the murky fog of deception and shame.

However, Buffy couldn't forget about other anchors…

Every so often she'd glance down at her bag, hoping to see Angelus' number. Nothing. Stifling a sigh, the Slayer commanded her spirits to rise. What more could she already ask for? Her life was safe, her friends were safe, her mom was safe, and her lover…

 _My lover is always by my side._

Eagerly sharing her opinion on the last episode of Friends, Buffy inwardly smiled. _Nothing can go wrong today. It's my lucky day._

Oz pulled up in front of the Summer's residence. He had already dropped Willow off at school with the promise to pick up a cake from the local grocery store. He had every intention of doing so, but first he had to take care of this.

Hopping down from the seat, Oz quickly slammed the door.

 **UPDATED 10/21/04**

A voice inside his head started uncharacteristically screaming, "This is none of your business!" The werewolf ignored it. The steps to the front porch came under his feet too soon. Before he could turn back, Oz rapped smartly on the large front door.

 _You can still walk away. Ding-dong ditch. C'mon, it isn't your place to snoop._

Mrs. Summers opened up the door and smiled warmly. "Hello, Oz. Buffy isn't here right now."

"Umm, yeah I know." Oz paused and chose his words carefully. "Umm, Mrs. Summers?"

"Yes, Oz?"

"You see, I was wondering…" _Go for it, dude. Just jump right in!_ "Is Angel coming by tonight?"

Joyce Summer's head rocked back a bit in surprise. "Angel?"

 _Alright, did I just step in it?_ Before Oz had a chance to answer, she asked, "You know about Angel?"

Oz fluently lied his ass off. "Yeah…yes, ma'am. I do. Buffy told me about him."

"Oh, wow! I'm just a little bit surprised. She was so embarrassed for anyone to know."

He nodded his chin in false understanding. "I can see why." _Jesus! Buffy's mom knows about him and is okay with it!_

Mrs. Summers' expression turned slightly cooler. "You think she should be embarrassed?"

 _Yes!_ However, Oz kept his mouth shut. He could smell Joyce's scent change and knew he had to proceed cautiously. "No, ma'am. I don't. But I can see why she would be."

Warmth immediately bounded back into the older woman's eyes. "I'm always telling her you guys won't look down on her for needing Angel but…" Her voice trailed off in a smatter of laughter. "Buffy feels otherwise." Cocking her head to the side, Mrs. Summers' expressed her shock at Oz's question. "That's why I'm surprised you know about him."

"Willow," was all he could think of saying.

"Oh, Willow knows Angel is tutoring Buffy too?"

"No, ma'am…I mean…" The teen's normally cool composure began to disintegrate rapidly. _Tutor? She thinks he's her tutor? What do I say? Shit!_ Realizing that Buffy's mother would soon begin to think something was seriously wrong with him, Oz began again. "Willow doesn't know who Buffy's tutor is but I do because I used him before."

Confident with his quasi-lie, Oz smiled and waited for Mrs. Summer's to reply.

"Oh." She blinked once before murmuring, "I didn't know you had a tutor."

"You see I'm part of this band…at least that's what we call ourselves." He waited for the elder Summers to smile at his little display of wit. "Anyway, my parents told me I couldn't keep playing if I didn't pull my grades up. That's where Angel came in."

"But he doesn't tutor you anymore?"

"No. After my parents were happy-I was done."

"I see." Joyce paused before asking, "Is that how Buffy met Angel?"

 _Yes. No. Which one?_ Oz rubbed his chin and answered slowly, "I don't think so. I mean, she was already working with him before we started hanging out."

"Oh. I see." She paused for a moment, opened her mouth, before closing it abruptly.

Within seconds Oz could sense a cloud of hesitancy hover about Buffy's mother. Patiently he waited, tense with anxiety and confusion; tense because his instincts were screaming at him, "Keep yourself together! Don't show any weakness! Let her tell you everything she knows!"

"Oz?"

Lifting his jaw slightly, he respectfully answered, "Yes, ma'am?"

"Do you think Buffy…I mean, do you think she and Angel have-" Joyce's words immediately ended in a gasp. Without conscious thought her right hand clutched her stomach.

Smelling the stink of pain about her, the werewolf quickly sprung into action. "Mrs. Summers! Are you alright?" She nodded her head and swallowed back another cry of pain. Without asking for permission, Oz opened the door further and led her inside.

It took every bit of fledgling control he had not to flinch as the combined scents of Buffy and Angelus' mating overwhelmed his delicate senses. However, even confronted with his instincts' obvious proof, Oz still wanted to cling to the belief that perhaps he was wrong.

But the werewolf knew he wasn't and that was what made this travesty all the more sickening.

He experienced a surge of raw anger on behalf of the good memories and loyalty he had with Angel. _Buffy's been lying to us all. She's been making us think that her heart was broken, that she couldn't get past Angel. And all this time she's been screwing the demon who stole his damned body! Angel didn't deserve this._

None of his inner agitation presented itself as Oz held onto Joyce's arm and deftly walked them both to the couch. Once again the smell of sex hit him strongly, nearly making him gag. Even so, Oz helped Joyce sit down, careful to keep hold of her until she murmured tiredly, "Thank you. I'm fine."

Crouching down next to the faded sofa, he stared intently at her face, futilely seeking the answer to her apparent illness. He came up empty. "How long have you been feeling like this?"

"Hmm?" Buffy's mother murmured distractedly.

"This pain. How long have you been feeling this?"

Mrs. Summer's face tightened into a wince. "Off and on for a few weeks…" Her voice slowly died away into a whisper. Aware of what she was sharing with an adolescent boy, Joyce shifted gears and adopted another face. "I'm sure it's nothing. I've been working a lot lately. Pushing myself too hard, even though I know I need to slow down…"

"Why are you then?" Oz asked bluntly.

Joyce looked into his intense blue gaze, seemingly searching for a way to dismiss the question. Something in his eyes inspired honesty. "I don't know," she finally answered after several tense seconds. "I don't know."

"Does Buffy know how you've been feeling?"

Mrs. Summers' expression hardened briefly. "No. And she doesn't need to know." Sitting up quickly, she murmured, "And you shouldn't have known either. I'm sorry, Oz." Despite the youth's small noise of protestation, Joyce stood up and walked back to the door.

Although her smile was friendly, her message was clear.

It was time to go.

Reluctantly finding his feet, Oz walked to and through the entryway. He had no more answers than he did when he first came here. _What did you expect? Especially after coming here with no plan._

Pausing at the door, he looked up and said awkwardly, "Well…goodbye, Mrs. Summers." His gaze discreetly searched hers and saw they were free from pain. It was as if she was completely healthy again.

The older woman nodded her head and replied, "Thank you for stopping by, Oz."

There was nothing left to say and Oz felt like a supreme fool for even coming. Walking into the sunlight, he caught sight of two little girls riding by on their bicycles. Their freshness and innocence was not lost on him. Even though the outside showed promise of safety and security, the hidden shadows were what really counted. If those girls lived in this town long enough, they would learn that lesson as well.

It was a nasty lesson he was still learning. _What now?_

"Oz?"

Quickly looking over his shoulder, the werewolf instantly answered, "Yes?"

"He's not coming by tonight."

 _He? Oh, Angelus._ "Angel's not?"

"No. Buffy doesn't see him until tomorrow."

"Oh, okay. Thanks, Mrs. Summers."

Joyce nodded her head once more before turning back inside. Even after the door closed, Oz stood on the porch rethinking her stomach pains. _It's not right. I didn't smell any sickness on her. But the pain was real, I could see that._

He came to Buffy's house with one problem and now had two.

Walking briskly to his van, his mind busily replayed the moments from when Buffy's mother first displayed pain until the end.

He easily climbed into the worn seat and sat there, puzzled. Oz knew she had been about to ask him something big. The signs were all there-acceleration of the heart, perspiration on the hands, and rapidness of breath. Whatever Buffy's mother had been about to ask him, it was something with the power to make her agitated and scared.

 _Scared?_ Starting up the van, Oz let the comfort of the loud, rumbling engine lull him into the familiar.

" _ **Do you think Buffy…I mean, do you think she and Angel have-"**_

His slender fingers began tapping on the steering wheel. _Do I think Buffy and Angel what?_ He let out a long, slow breath and put the van in drive. Rolling down the street, his piercing gaze narrowed abruptly. _No. I mean…maybe?_

Oz shook his head firmly. _No way is she okay with Buffy and Angel like that._ He may not know Mrs. Summers' very well, but she didn't strike him as the type to allow her daughter to openly fornicate with a man who was obviously much older.

" _ **Oh, Willow knows Angel is tutoring Buffy too?"**_

Tutor.

Oz eased his van to a stop. Patiently waiting for the light to turn green, he pounced on the word tutor. _Buffy and Angelus have started some kind of relationship and passing it off as a tutor-student thing._

The teen suddenly remembered Willow's enthusiasm of late.

" _ **Buffy's grades have been really great, Oz! She and I, plus this other girl you don't know, were the only ones to ace our history test!"**_

"He really is her tutor." The whisper was immediately followed by a loud honk. Glancing up in surprise, he saw that the light was green. Moving forward, he lowered his brows in thought. _Okay, Angelus tutors Buffy and it's working. So what does that mean? Maybe everything is cool between them._

The gigantic Wal-Mart sign came into view. Pulling into the parking lot, he had to wait as hordes of people leisurely made their way across the small strip designated as pedestrian right of way. After a minute he was able to move a few yards before stopping again. This time his patience began to wear thin.

"Come on, people," he muttered softly. "You see a big van here. Don't go on a power trip just because there're yellow lines. I could be crazy for cake and decide you're not worth the wait."

But of course Oz sat there, keeping his enormous metal beast under complete control because they were worth the wait. Barely.

 _Everything is cool between them. Yeah, right. Willow told me about Angelus flipping out on Buffy in the cemetery. She also told me about Buffy flipping out on the phone last night because she thought Willow wanted Buffy to kill Angelus. Everything is NOT cool between them. Or at least it isn't always._

Finally after a ridiculous amount of time, he was able to turn down one of the road aisles and secure a spot. Glancing at his watch, Oz knew he had to hurry if he was going to make it to Ms. Calendar's room first before he hit the library.

Joining the crush, Oz continued with his turbulent thoughts. _Why doesn't Buffy just come out and say what's going on? I may have gotten into this club kind of late, but I thought they…we…were always honest with each other. So why is Buffy lying?_

Oz rethought his position. He imagined their friends' expressions of anger and betrayal. Xander especially made no secret of what he thought of Angelus and he did it constantly in Buffy's presence. And Willow…while well meaning, he still didn't think his girlfriend understood just how much her friend loved Angel.

And the bitch of it all was that Oz knew more than Willow, Xander, Giles, or any of them, how much Buffy loved Angel. Despite his dirty knowledge and present feelings of anger and betrayal on behalf of his mentor, he KNEW Buffy loved Angel.

 _Okay, maybe I can see why she'd be afraid to come out and say it. But why is she actively letting Giles think that Angelus only sees her as a coffin-filler?_ His thoughts mocked his relaxed façade. _And why is Mrs. Summers feeling pain that shouldn't be there?_

There were no answers to his questions.

It had been a complete waste of time.

Shouldering his way past the milling crowd, he passed through the automatic doors and nodded his head at the elderly greeter.

"Welcome to Wal-Mart!"

"Thanks." Forgoing a cart, Oz checked to make sure he had a $20 dollar bill. Willow's scent came up and greeted him warmly. Faced with his girlfriend's essence, the confused teen let out a small sigh and a curse as he turned towards the grocery area. _No one else needs to know._ Whether he found out all the answers or not, Oz now knew he wasn't going to tell anyone anything.

 _It's none of my business. I don't like it when people stick their noses in my things, so why am I doing it to her? She's the Slayer, for christsakes! She didn't ask me to snoop around her house, looking for information on Angelus. She never asked for my help. And she doesn't seem unhappy. If anything, she's always laughing and kidding around. I've never seen her happier._

" _ **He was throwing her around, beating the crap out of her! Xander wanted to charge out there and stop it, but I wouldn't let him. If you had seen them, Oz, you would've thought one of them was definitely going to end up dead."**_

…

" _ **Oz, Buffy was crying so much and there wasn't anything we could do to help her!"**_

…

" _ **She said she still loves him, but she can't…can she?"**_

Oz hadn't known how to answer Willow's question then, but he knew how to answer it now. _Yes, Buffy still can, Will. She still can, even if all she has left is Angelus._

" _ **Do you think Buffy…I mean, do you think she and Angel have-"**_

Mrs. Summers' had been scared of asking her question. Even without his supernatural senses, Oz would've been completely oblivious not to hear it. _She and Angel have what? Been together? Was that what you wanted to ask me? But why ask? You already know._

It had been right in front of everyone's nose and even though they all sensed it, none of them ever bothered to smell the truth.

Even him.

Shaken with his final judgment, there was nothing left for Oz but to walk up to the bakery counter and ask, "Hi. Is the Rosenberg cake ready?"

Buffy rapped on the closed door and waited for the man inside to allow her entry. Not even twenty minutes before Father Marion had called Giles and has asked for her to come by the church. Seeing that there was nothing left to do but hang around the library and tease Xander mercilessly, Buffy elected to go immediately.

"Come in."

She eased the door open and spied Father Marion sitting at his desk. A sincere smile lifted her pink mouth as she breezily walked in. "Is that a sub I see?" she winningly asked while closing the door.

The priest remained silent but nodded his head.

They rarely met in this small room, usually because they were too busy studying demonology under the church, so it was still new to Buffy. Plopping into a chair, she absently noted the beautiful stained glass window.

Saint Andrew stood straight, head tilted upwards, and liquid eyes heavy with the pain of sacrifice and truth. Buffy couldn't help but shudder remembering his manner of death on the cross bearing his name.

 _All the pain, degradation, and brutality…done all in the name of God._ Averting her eyes, she focused instead on the exquisite glass patterns reaching across the floor. Buffy knew she was merely another instrument in that fight, but unlike those unfortunate saints, she hoped that today was more the norm and less the exception. _Hopefully I won't die that horrifically._

Glancing away from the spectacular play of color and light, as well as her morbid hopes, Buffy realized the priest was watching her somberly. "What's up, Father?"

He continued to watch her for a few more seconds before replying, "You know what this day is, don't you?"

She tilted her head to the side and answered dryly, "It's kind of hard to forget considering I was supposed to die tonight."

An expression of grief darkened his fine, unlined eyes. "Yes."

Buffy was on the verge of making a lighthearted joke when she realized Father Marion's sadness remained visible on his youthful face. "Father, what's the matter?" She felt the bite of cold fear slowly pump its terrible poison within her body. "Do you…" Buffy abruptly stopped. She couldn't finish her sentence of, "Do you know something that you're not telling us?"

The priest took a deep breath. He unwrapped the large sub sandwich and wordlessly handed the Slayer half. He waited until she took it with a slightly unsteady hand. Finally, he broke the silence. "Do you remember what I asked you once?"

Buffy shook her head.

"I asked you what you would feel if Angel and Angelus were not two different creatures inhabiting the same body at different times, but one. Do you remember?"

"Yes." She held onto her half of the sub, uneaten and ignored.

"Have you given thought to your answer?"

"No," she admitted honestly.

"Then do so now."

"I don't understand-"

"You don't need to understand," Father Marion broke in softly. "You just need to answer it for me. Now."

"Why?" Buffy asked with a subtle trace of mutiny. Immediately, she bit her lip in remorse and dropped her head.

Seeing her apologetic posture, the priest humorlessly smiled. "Oh, Buffy," he sighed. Getting up, he knew her wide, hazel eyes were now watching his every movement. Pausing at the window, he reached out with one hand and laid it palm down against the cool glass.

"Why? Why indeed?" Father Marion abruptly mentioned, "Did you know this is an original copy?"

"No," the Slayer softly replied. "I didn't."

"When I say original copy I mean the first was originally made by Louis Comfort Tiffany in the year 1908. It was made for a small church in Petersburg, Virginia. This one, here, was made secretly that same year." The young priest looked over his shoulder and saw the confusion on his pupil's face. "You're wondering what this has to do with your answer, aren't you?"

"A little."

He shook his head and sighed once more. "Maybe nothing. But then again…" Father Marion turned back to the stained portal and gently ran his hand down the glass. "Tiffany made his fortune creating attainable beauty. Windows, lamps, ornaments for the mantle-such exquisite loveliness must be true, must be pure, don't you think?" Without waiting for Buffy's answer, he murmured, "But some darker rumors are that he stole the formula of iridescent glass from his partner. Some say that his fortune is based on deceit and trickery."

Buffy sat silently, knowing that even if she didn't understand where her mentor was going, he would soon share the destination with her.

"That may true." Father Marion tilted his head and stared into the inanimate gaze that seemed anything but dead. "But if you were to put this window next to the first one, you would barely be able to discern the difference. Both were made by different makers, but they're the same."

Eyes of the purest blue met hazel. "Even if by different hands, they came from the same place. The same."

A full minute passed by in silence, prompting the priest to ask, "Do you understand what I'm trying to say, Buffy?"

 _Angel. Angelus. The same. No fucking way!_ Buffy unconsciously shook her head.

"The titles are convenient, demon, soul, but they come from the same place. They're not different at all."

"They're not the same, Father Marion," she vehemently whispered. "Angelus and Angel aren't windows. They… **Angel** had a soul. Angelus is a demon."

"So?" he calmly returned

"So?" Buffy placed her uneaten sandwich on the desk in front on her. "Angelus is a demon! A demon, Father Marion. He was no soul, no…grace!"

"Why does that matter to you?"

"What do you mean?" she sputtered in disbelief.

"It didn't stop you from being intimate with him. It still hasn't stopped you." Father Marion acknowledged, but ignored Buffy's gasp of shame. "He's made you into a creature neither here," the priest opened his arms to indicate the church. "Or there." His hands flipped over and eloquently gestured with pointed fingers.

The Slayer frowned in pained confusion as she obviously struggled with what to say.

Remaining in his position, the priest fixed Buffy with an uncharacteristic stern stare. "You had better see your love for what he is."

She clenched her fists while crying, "I do!"

"No, you don't. You revile Angelus' darkness even while you cling to it. You remain divided and it is destroying you."

An expression of grief darkened Buffy's eyes while a pained frown embittered her mouth. "Angel's memory deserved more than what I've given it. I shouldn't have let myself fall so easily…but I did. So I deserve to suffer for what I did."

"Why?"

She blinked rapidly, commanding her humiliating tears to recede. "It's my fault Angel isn't here. I caused his one moment of happiness. I made him leave."

"You really think that's how things work?" Father Marion asked gently, a note pity undeniably marking each word.

"It is how it works! Jenny told us about Angel's curse! Angelus' character clearly proves it! And if it wasn't for me…" Her voice choked in grief.

He nodded his head, pondering her words. "Let's say Janna is right. Let's say her people had the power to control souls. Then what?"

Buffy swallowed once before rasping, "What do you mean?"

"Angel's soul is gone, Angelus is here. How do you view them? Is Angel perfect and Angelus damned?"

Her eyes darkened with the painful memories of the past three months. "Angel WAS perfect, Father. He loved me with perfect grace."

"That's it. Don't you see? You've placed Angel up on a pedestal so high even he couldn't reach it."

Overwhelming anger pushed Buffy to snap, "That's not true. If it was, I wouldn't be Angelus little whore, would I?"

Father Marion closed his eyes, refusing to see his protégé's gaze staring into his with shades of betrayal and disillusionment. "Has Angelus shared you with his court?"

Resentment. "No."

"Has Angelus asked you to pleasure men in his view?"

Scorn. "No."

"Has Angelus demanded for you to pleasure men and women in his view?"

Disgust. "No!"

"Has any creature touched you sexually since you two began?"

Understanding. "No."

Father Marion opened his eyes and asked with devastating softness, "Then why do you call yourself a whore?"

Buffy felt the rage deflate instantly, leaving her with raw humiliation. Briefly she considered lying or throwing up an obstinate front, but she knew she wouldn't. She may be lying to everyone she came in contact with, but she wouldn't lie to him.

"Because he likes it when I say it," Buffy whispered in a tortured voice. "He likes making me feel as if I mean nothing more than a woman he pays for. And I'll do anything, BE anything for Angelus because I love him so much."

"Love." He let out a slow, long breath. "What a mess this has all become for that emotion." Father Marion stepped forward and stated, "Angelus IS what we call a demon. He carries the bitterness and rage, that left festering for centuries, can reach out and destroy everything within its immediate path."

"I know," she murmured woodenly.

"I don't think you do, Buffy. Humans are capable of being the exact same way, without the immortal lifespan. It's no coincidence that the phrase 'Conquering your inner demons' was coined."

Buffy lifted her pain-filled gaze and stared at the priest unflinchingly. "I want to help him conquer his…Angel's…past. I want to be the one to make it go away."

"How can you help him, when you can't even help yourself?"

"That's not fair, Father." She tightened her jaw and stated, "I'm trying to hold it together. I'm doing the best I can and it's not been too bad either. I keep this town safer than it's ever been before. I've made everyone happy-Mom, Giles, everyone. I even beat this prophecy."

The priest dropped his gaze while his hand automatically went up to hold his crucifix.

"Well?"

"That's not for me to say, Buffy." Father Marion came around the desk and crouched before her. He reached out with both of his hands and gently held Buffy's. "The bond the two of you share-how have you been handling it?"

She frowned a moment, apparently trying to shift mental gears. "I barely notice it."

"How does Angelus behave with it?"

"I don't know…I…"

"Is he feeding only from you?"

Even though Buffy knew Father Marion had intimate details of her life with Angelus, the conversation still had the power to make her blush and stammer. "I-I think so."

"You only think?"

"Yes. No. I mean…" She took in a calming breath before beginning anew. "Angelus only takes my blood."

He squeezed her hands once before asking, "Can you control the call between you?"

"The call?" she asked, perplexed at not only all the questions he was asking of her, but also the information she was learning.

"If you were in danger, would you know how to call for him?"

Buffy slowly shook her head and answered, "No."

"Angelus…he hasn't showed you how to call him then?"

"No, Father."

Father Marion nodded his head and said briskly, "Alright. Then let me tell you."

"I'm all for it, but how do you know?"

A small smile enigmatically flitted across his mouth as he answered, "I know a lot about a lot of things. That's why you were sent to me, Buffy."

She smiled in return and clarified, "I know. What I mean is…why now?"

"Because I want to share this with you." Staring up into her youthful face, Father Marion could hardly resist releasing one hand so he could caress her cheek. However hard it was, in the end he did resist.

"When you have need of him, concentrate all your focus on his face. No matter how much trouble you may be in or how difficult it might be, you HAVE to call out to him like this. If Angelus is able, he will come."

"I just concentrate on his face. What if I concentrated on his name or-"

"His name works just as well. Just remember to channel all of your available, conscious energy on him. No matter how unwilling he might be, Angelus will come to you."

"Do I have to be in danger or can I just do it whenever?" Buffy's expression lightened with mischievous intent. "Can I use it like a supernatural cell phone?"

"Buffy!" the priest muttered in mock aggravation.

"What? I just wanted to know!"

"Buffy, just promise me you'll remember." His face lost its amused expression, leaving a dark determination behind. "Promise me."

"I will but its not like I'll need it. At least not today." Father Marion didn't smile like she had hoped and expected. "C'mon, Father," the Slayer cajoled. "Haven't we been in serious mode a bit too long?" "Not when it's this important."

His unwillingness to humor her made Buffy grip his palms tightly. "What aren't you telling me?"

The priest shook his head in mute apology and answered, "All I can tell you, Buffy, is the same thing I've told you before-your life is out of balance. Even now you're spinning out of control and I can't help you. Not if you're unwilling to stop the madness."

"Then how do I stop?" she snapped in angry frustration. "Just come out and tell me what's wrong!"

"I can't give you the answers to that, Buffy. I don't have the power." His apologetic voice ground to a halt. Several seconds passed as he struggled to find his next words. "Just know this: love is not enough." The priest squeezed her hands and waited until she squeezed back. "Love can be used to spiritually rip open more lives than hate can. If you are going to survive the road ahead, you have to remember that."

"I don't understand," Buffy admitted while seemingly searching his eyes for the answers to her problems.

"You can love him, but if you hate yourself just so you can love him-it's not enough. The same goes for Angelus."

A hysterical laugh snuck past her tightly compressed lips. "Love? He doesn't love me."

A tragic smile lifted his lips. "If only that were the case, Buffy."

He dropped her hands, stood up fluidly, and walked back towards his chair. Settling in it, he observed the numerous expressions openly racing across her youthful face. Apparently basking in the more pleasant ones, she suddenly took on angelic proportions. Father Marion averted his eyes at the reminder of what she was and what was to come.

"What is your answer, Buffy?" he asked while looking away.

She turned to him, unaware of her exquisite, flawless grace. "My answer?"

"Two windows, two makers, one picture."

The Slayer made a sound of assent and stared at the stained glass portal, apparently drinking in its beauty and symbolism. After many minutes, she finally answered.

"I'd want to look out it forever. I wouldn't care where it came from. I wouldn't care who made it. I wouldn't care what I had to do to get it. I wouldn't care if no one thought it was pretty. I'd want it forever."

Father Marion's lower lip drew in slightly, his face resigned, disappointed, yet hopeful. "I understand."

Buffy's brow went up in surprise, instantly shattering her immortal cast. "You do?"

"Haven't I always?" he murmured.

A bittersweet smile lifted the side of her pink mouth. "Yes, you have."

Without another word, Father Marion picked up his half of the forgotten sub and gestured for Buffy to do the same. The two spent the next several minutes sharing their meal in respective silence. After the crumbs were wiped away, he leaned forward.

"We broke bread together, Buffy. We shared a meal together, many times. It means something. No matter what, remember that as well."

The man dressed as a priest knew that the blonde girl didn't understand why he said it. However, before the night was over she would know.

He could only hope she would remember it.

She would be told she shouldn't have gone back.

Cynthia knew it even as her feet carried her quickly up the stairs. She would be severely reprimanded for breaking protocol. Cynthia knew that as well.

However, she didn't care.

 _How could I have forgotten? Shit!_ In a moment of weakness, Cynthia had knitted several more blankets for Emma and Thomas Richardsons' baby. If that wasn't bad enough, she had even arranged a date for Emma to come by.

That day happened to be today.

Emma was going to be stopping by her apartment that afternoon to not only bring little Rachel over for a visit but to also pick up the blankets.

And that couldn't happen.

 _If the Cleaners find her anywhere near that apartment they might decide to…_ Cynthia's thoughts viciously stopped as her feet topped the stairs. The red door mocked her with its glorious color, reminding her that spilled blood was just as morbidly glorious.

The sound of voices within the apartment made her heart hammer. Shoving her key into the lock, she turned her wrist and carefully opened the door. Her jaw was set for battle and her eyes promised bloody revenge if that bloodless group decided to spill Emma's.

And if they touched Rachel…well, Cynthia was sure to get more than a reprimand by the time she finished disposing of THEM.

However, what she saw nearly cracked her composure and numbed her thirst for carnage.

Emma was sitting comfortably in the armchair, Rachel nestled safely within her arms, while Simon sat across from them both.

"Cynthia!" the vampire jovially called out. "You made it back in time."

Emma smiled and said, "I didn't know your cousin was in town." She laughed with teasing warmth and added, "I didn't even know you had a cousin. Much less a blond one."

Simon stood up and quickly walked over to Cynthia. With careless grace, he enveloped her in a tight hug and lifted her off her feet. "I've missed you!"

It was so incredibly difficult for the dark-haired girl to return his embrace, but return it she did. "I didn't know you were here!" she cried out in convincing glee. "Where have you been hiding yourself?"

Setting her down, the blond vampire looked over his shoulder and complained, "Didn't I tell you she'd nag me for not calling ahead of time?"

Emma merely laughed while shifting her daughter.

Cynthia ran her hands up Simon's arms and asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I decided to drop by a little earlier than I was supposed to. When I got here I saw Emma and Rachel by your door." He added casually, "I also saved Emma from a group of salesmen buzzing about."

"I thought it was clear that we have a no solicitation policy in this building," Emma muttered.

"Really!" Cynthia exclaimed in supportive agreement. "Did they give you guys a problem?"

"Nope. Simon told them what was what and they left. Didn't look too happy, but they left."

"Good." Behind Cynthia's easy smile, she felt nervous relief. "Guess you saved the day, cousin."

"Guess I did," he replied softly while letting her go. He allowed his gaze to drop its familial friendliness and showed her a glimpse of something stronger.

Cynthia met his eyes steadily, refusing to acknowledge the flip in her stomach.

The threesome spent the next half-hour chatting gaily. Cynthia made the correct words come out of her mouth correctly. She laughed at the false stories her "cousin" shared to entertain their guest. She even made a few stories of her own. When Simon had the chance to hold Rachel, she visually gave it no notice, other than to dutifully smile and coo at the baby. When Simon invited her to sit next to him and help hold her precious guest, she obliged him easily.

However, her mind counted each second that passed by with unfaltering dedication. When enough time had passed, Cynthia stood up and yawned, "Well, Emma, it was good seeing you."

The young woman stood up as well and took Rachel from Simon's arms. "Thomas is going to be home soon so I better put this little one down and start dinner."

"I was happy to see you both," Cynthia murmured honestly. She barely repressed the grimace threatening to creep across her brow upon letting those words loose. _Shouldn't get too close…I know that already. Gotta keep them safe. Gotta do what's right. Can't get too close if I'm going to do that._

Simon leaned down and nuzzled the infant's chin with one finger. "She's so precious, Emma. You're very lucky to have her."

The mother's obvious love for her daughter permeated every pore of her body. "I know. Thomas and I can't believe we made something so perfect, so beautiful." Looking up, Emma laughed sheepishly. "Here I am going on and on, just like every mother out there."

"Not every mother," Simon replied softly. "Only the good ones."

Cynthia inhaled slightly, knowing the source of his memories and the never-ending pain they inspired. Without thought, she reached out and grasped his hand tightly in hers. Realizing her display of weakness, Cynthia attempted to drop her hold but it was too late. Simon tightly gripped her fingers, holding them as if he wanted to never let her go.

"Well, I'll let you two go. It was nice meeting you, Simon."

"You too, Emma." Leaning down, he placed a gentle kiss on the baby's forehead. "Good-bye, Rachel."

Something in Simon's expression caused Emma to spontaneously suggest, "Why don't you two come over for dinner tonight? It's not much, spaghetti and toast, but it's cheap and good."

Cynthia apologetically shook her head and declined. "Sorry, Emma. We're not going to be able to. You know, family plans and all."

"Oh. That's okay. I understand. Maybe another time." Emma opened the door and paused when Simon spoke.

"Listen. Why don't you and your husband take this little angel out to dinner tonight? On me."

Emma began shaking her head and thanking him at the same time. "Oh, we couldn't. But thanks-"

"Seriously. I insist." Simon pressed thirty dollars into her hand. "Think of it as our thanks for bringing a little sunshine to our day."

Cynthia stood there, unsure of whether to support the vampire or squeeze the shit out of his hand. He was bringing too much attention to them. His actions were too conspicuous. They were supposed to blend in the world, not stand out. Nobody acted this nice over seeing a baby. Granted Cynthia understood Simon's sincerity, but still…

After a few awkward moments, Emma asked, "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Right, Cynthia?"

Pasting a wide smile on her face, the dark-haired girl nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! You, Thomas, and Rachel deserve some time out. If you don't want to go to a regular restaurant, just go to McDonald's, then take the rest of the money and rent a movie or go to the bookstore. Do what you want! It's your night!"

She felt a tiny bit of pressure from the vampire's hand. _I got it!_ Cynthia smarted under the warning. Now she was the one going a bit overboard.

"Alright. Thanks, you two." Emma tried to wave, but her hands were too full with baby and blankets, so she just shrugged and smiled. "Bye!"

"Bye, Emma!" they both called back. Watching until mother and child made it to their apartment, the two immediately parted once the door closed. Cynthia efficiently asked, "Where are the Cleaners?"

Simon walked towards the window and peered through the sunny curtains. "Outside. Alpha is stationed forty, no forty-two degrees from this mark on the sidewalk."

Cynthia's hand brushed her hip, needing to feel the reassurance of gun metal. "And Beta?"

"He's one-hundred and ten degrees."

She nodded her head. "Okay." The Cleaners were in surveillance protocol. "What did you say to them?"

The blond vampire turned to the smaller girl and answered, "Simply that if they touched one hair on either Emma, her daughter, or her husband, I would ensure each felt the dirty instruments of their work." His mouth lifted in a ruthless smile, "That is, if you didn't get to them first."

Cynthia stared at him, disliking her vulnerable emotions at the moment. "Thank you."

"No problem. Besides, I don't think either had any intention of wanting to kill, but…" His words trailed away but their message was clear: if Simon hadn't had come, they would've.

And it would've been her fault. _Shouldn't have gotten too close. I was told to be polite, friendly, but fall back into the crowd. Don't stand out too much. Now look what I almost did. Damnit!_ Cynthia knew the cameras were recording every mistake, every failure. Asheburne was probably going into apoplexy at this moment.

Her cold, black eyes met his fathomless azure orbs. "I have to go."

"I know."

Cynthia looked at his beautiful continence for a second longer than she should have. _I know the drill. Walk away. Don't come to close to his flame._ Turning away, she stopped abruptly when he said, "It's wired to go, isn't it?"

"Yes," was her emotionless response.

"What about the others?"

"They'll be evacuated."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Liar."

 **UPDATED 11/5/2004**

Cynthia's shoulders drew up slightly, her body tense with rage and pain. _He thinks I would let these people die…bastard! I'm a soldier not a monster!_ However, her voice did not betray the gaping wound of her spirit. "Simon, believe what you want. It's not for me to try to convince you."

The whisper of linen teased the air with movement. "True, it's not." The next words were murmured barely above raspy sigh. "It's for you to convince yourself."

Her black gaze remained coolly fixed on the door while her heart threatened to break faith and shout out her secrets. Cynthia could feel his tall, slim body behind her-only conspicuous inches separating them.

In spite of her training, in spite of all that she had experienced and seen, Cynthia couldn't deny her age or her heart. The well of rejection sprang forward beneath her feet, threatening to draw her into its cold tank of bitter liquid. _Even now he won't touch me. I'm just a child to him. I'm just a little girl-a niña. And no matter what I do, I can't ever breach that wall._

It wasn't only a distance of centuries that kept them separate, but beliefs.

The past flickered to life behind the opaque veil of her icy orbs.

" _ **Why do you think they lie, Simon?"**_

" _ **Hmm?"**_

" _ **Why do the Watchers lie to their charges? To their Slayers especially?"**_

" _ **What exactly do you mean, Cynthia?"**_

" _ **The Watchers tell them that all vampires are soulless and evil."**_

" _ **I know."**_

" _ **But it's not true."**_

" _ **I know."**_

" _ **So why do they do it?"**_

" _ **Control."**_

" _ **I can respect that. It's necessary. Although…"**_

" _ **Yes?"**_

" _ **The truth always works better, don't you think?"**_

" _ **Always."**_

Simon never lied to her. He NEVER lied to her. But Cynthia was a liar. She had always been a liar and would ALWAYS be one.

" _ **Consider this a warning between old friends: if you ever come inside my apartment again, I'll be sweeping you with the trash that same day. I promise you."**_

Her stake was right there, next to her hip. It would be so easy to twist, turn, and plunge. Staring intently at a large crack in the door's paint, Cynthia allowed herself the luxury of imagining a life without this creature.

Freedom.

Cynthia Santiana would be free of conscience, free of pain, and free of memory.

"You're thinking about it, aren't you?" The faint Slavic accent whispered in her small ear, absent of breath but alive with heat.

She chose to remain silent, waiting for this immortal predator to show his weapons.

"You've already brought me down with that stake. I'm gone, ash and bone on your floors, and you're wondering how good it would feel…aren't you?"

Her skin itched with the torturous tingle of knowing Simon was so close. Without looking behind her, she knew he was bent over her, in a mockery of courtesy given the circumstances.

However, it was nothing unique to the moment.

Their height difference complimented and drew attention from the other in solicitation. Simon had often bent closer to make himself accessible to her petite height, even though he never had a problem hearing her every breath. She had always arched her feet up, even slightly, just to try to bridge the distance and meet him halfway, at least figuratively.

But this time was different.

" _ **The truth always works better, don't you think?"**_

" _ **Always."**_

"Yes." Her one word was spoken without remorse or inflection. She could've been answering any one of a thousand harmless questions.

"Would it feel good?" Simon whispered sweetly as his finger gently followed the line of her arm down to her waist. "Would it feel good to not care about sin…Cyn?"

If she moved her head slightly to the right, Cynthia would feel the smoothness of his cheek against her temple. If she leaned into his hand, she would feel his flawless touch consume her flawed mortality. And without a sound, her whole body screamed in agony.

Simon had chosen his weapons with precise deliberation.

Seduction.

Not a muscle moved on the young girl's face, yet her ebony eyes overflowed with tears that she could not control. The vampire's utter lack of feeling, of caring, speared Cynthia's bludgeoned heart. He knew how much she loved him and meant to barter her obedience for cold passion.

Never before had she felt so humiliated and so worthless for her feelings. _It's never for me. Only for what I'll do for him.' Asheburne was right._

" _ **He'll never love you, Santiana."**_

" _ **Because he's not capable? Tch. Tell it to your idiot Slayers."**_

" _ **Watch your tongue and mind your ears! This will save you from the nastiness of heartache, as long you're not a stupid child. Are you listening? I have no interest of repeating myself again."**_

" _ **Go."**_

" _ **That Ancient will never love you the way you want because he doesn't want to love you."**_

" _ **Why not?"**_

" _ **Why? What difference does it make, Santiana? Because he doesn't want to. He's said as much and if anything, Simon is a vampire of his word."**_

" _ **You're telling me this because?"**_

" _ **Because there may come a day when he seeks to use your emotions against you. Don't be that foolish. If you can't kill them off, at least have the foresight to guard them beneath indifference. But no matter what, do NOT allow that Ancient to manipulate you through your weakness."**_

 _What do you think of me now, Asheburne? I guess I ended up being a stupid child after all._

The smell of Cynthia's grief was not lost on Simon. He carefully captured one falling tear with a gentle caress. "Why do you cry, Niña? Are you crying because of what you've become?" he asked with an undercurrent of husky want. "Are you shedding tears for my death even now?"

Simon never lied to her. NEVER. Until now.

But this time, Cynthia would stop being a liar and would tell the truth.

"I'm crying because you made this easy for me." In a movement nearly too fast to see, Cynthia spun away from her captor, pulled out her semi-automatic gun, and pointed it squarely at his chest. The silencer on the muzzle made the weapon seem even more vicious.

Simon's face betrayed no emotion. In a cold voice, he asked, "Where's the honor in this? At least with a stake there's the guise of fair chance."

"Honor is a word for fools who have the privilege of having people like me doing things like this." Her mouth tightened briefly before it became an indifferent line.

" _ **You're not a bad person."**_

" _ **Don't you mean 'not a bad vampire'?"**_

" _ **No. I said it right. You're not a bad person. Man, really. I've never met any man who didn't try to use a woman somehow. You make me think that there are good ones out there. It makes me hope. It makes me hope that Carolina can grow up and see something different than I have. Maybe Mama too."**_

" _ **Cyn…you know I care about more than anyone in the world, right?"**_

" _ **Really, Simon?"**_

" _ **Really."**_

 _Until now, I cared more about you than anyone else in the world. And now there's nobody left for me to care about._ Without another word, she aimed for his heart and pulled the trigger.

The white front of his shirt exploded but nothing else.

Before Cynthia could betray her shock, the vampire's eyes bled red and his exotic features hardened into a mask of unforgiving purpose. "That you would go so far..."

Too late the young soldier recalled that a simple bullet couldn't bring down this ancient vampire.

Too late she realized that she had been goaded into this act of murder.

Too late Cynthia remembered she was merely a puppet in this play.

Simon crouched down in an offensive position and snarled, "You would dare shoot me! The only person left in this world who loves you!"

The dam on her emotions splintered beneath the fury of his immortal rage. "Love? You don't FUCKING love me!" She jammed her useless weapon back into her jacket. "How can you ever love a tool? You can't! So don't lie to me."

The vampire's crimson eyes narrowed with menace. "I don't lie."

"LIAR!" Cynthia abruptly closed her mouth into a tight line. She was losing control. She was slipping beneath the unpredictable waves of her shameful emotions.

"What's wrong, Cyn? Losing control?" he whispered with frightening accuracy. "Becoming human again?"

She lifted her chin slightly while forcing her face to fall into the lines of indifference. "Hardly." Her eyes glinted with unwavering resolve as she advised him with, "Don't involve yourself anymore than you already have. This isn't your business."

"Neither is it yours!" Simon hissed with frightening conviction.

Cynthia's gaze remained trained on his arms and legs, futilely watching them for warning. "I have to disagree with you on that one, Simon." _It doesn't matter how closely I watch him…when he strikes I won't be able to see it._

"Even if you win, you'll still never be her."

She dropped her eyes slightly in unconscious acknowledgement of the barb. "Who says I want to be? I have a job to do-that's all."

Simon shifted to the left and watched as she did the same. "A job? That's what you still call it?" He pinned her with a condemning stare as he asked, "Tonight, when you lure those innocent girls with promises of night and passion, only to lead them to death, will you still call it a job?"

Cynthia remained mute, refusing to look into his crimson gaze. "I do what I have to."

"What you have to?" Simon growled low in his throat. "It's that ruthlessness that kept you from the calling. That's why you were passed over."

Her heart skidded and threatened to stop. All her methodical training deserted the soldier as she gasped aloud with agony. That he would bring up her family's last moments…her failure! Cynthia's knees threatened to buckle but she forced her body to obey-even if her mind and heart would not.

" _ **Get off of her! Get off my mother, pinche cabron!"**_

" _ **What did you say to me, you little puta?"**_

" _ **You heard me. Don't you EVER hit her again!"**_

" _ **Chupa mi pito! Nobody tells me what to do, much less a woman."**_

" _ **I'm going to kill you for that!"'**_

In the end, Cynthia had lied. She hadn't killed that brutalizing bastard, Alejandro Varguez. Instead, he had beaten her mother and her sister to death before nearly beating her into a grave as well.

Maybe it would have been merciful if she now lay beside Elena and Carolina Santiana instead of facing the one creature still capable of her hurting her spirit. But there was no more mercy for Cynthia Santiana. If there ever had been.

Her voice seemed to come from far away as she murmured, "Is that what draws you here, Simon? To gloat in my face. Or is it her you favor? After all, the Slayer has nothing to do with you-why are you even here?"

Before he could answer, Cynthia murmured dryly, "Don't tell me you have loyalty to Angelus? After all, didn't he once attack your precious Marie? So which is it? Buffy or Angelus? Whose side are you on, vamp?"

Simon's eyes flashed murderously. "Be very careful with what you say, Cynthia Santiana."

"Oh, of course. Forgive me. Forgive my impertinence." Cynthia's lips lifted into a travesty of a smile as she stated, "I bet I know the answer. But is it any surprise? After all, you're a man."

"It's not like that, Niña."

Her arm slashed through the air as she hissed, "Get off it! You watch her too!" Swallowing her rage, Cynthia succeeded in training her voice back to its quiet, mocking tone. "As I watch her, you do as well. Do you like what you see, Simon?" Just the thought of this vampire preferring Buffy Summers threw her body into a chaotic rage. "I bet you do."

Simon remained silent, choosing instead to keep his bloody gaze trained solely on her.

She rocked back on her heels and watched as he shifted in response. It hurt. Knowing that Simon was willing to return the favor of murder hurt. Even though it shouldn't. But she could accept it.

This, however, she could not.

Cynthia shoved her hands in her pockets and taunted him with, "Although I'm surprised you're into a girl like her. Her master may be fattening her up, but she's still a bit on the skinny side. I thought you liked women with a bit of meat on their bones. I guess I thought wrong, huh?"

The blond vampire began to growl in growing rage.

"When Angelus has her bent over, cock shoved far up her little ass, does it make you hard?"

Simon's growl grew louder. The tiny hairs on the back of Cynthia's neck sprang to attention, silently demanding that she be quiet. Of course, she was too far past that. "What? No denials?" She could feel a knot of hurt tightly coil itself inside her gut. "Well, there you go. You're just as fucked up as everyone else when it comes to that bit-" She abruptly stopped, choosing instead to murmur, "Girl."

Simon finally broke his silence and stated, "You have no right to hate her. It's not her fault she became the Slayer and not you."

"FUCK YOU!" Cynthia stalked over to his crouched body, mirrored his posture, and slapped his face with every bit of strength she possessed. "I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO HATE HER! I SHOULD'VE BEEN THE SLAYER, NOT HER!"

Simon remained still as the death he was capable of giving.

Cynthia felt the bitter tears leak from her eyes, finishing her darkest shame completely. Her sides heaved from the pain of keeping her voice from breaking into the gasps her lungs demanded. "You know all this, Simon!" she warbled not even an inch from his face. "I felt the change happen when I caught that _mierda_ beating the shit out of my mother! I'd been waiting for years! Training for years! I knew everything there was to know!" Her yells collapsed into a whisper filled with rage and loathing, "But It left me and went into HER." Her control shattered as she began to openly sob, "M-My f-f-family DIED because o-of Buffy Summers!"

"No, they didn't," he stated firmly but compassionately.

"Yes, they did!" she shrieked in return, red-faced and lost.

"No, they didn't, Cynthia." Simon's eyes bled back into azure while his handsome face lost its predatory cast. He reached out to enfold her into his embrace when she slapped his hands away.

Scrambling back, she quickly found her feet and started laughing wildly. "Oh, this is rich!" She rubbed the heels of her palms into her eyes and cried, "You're good, Simon. I forget that sometimes." Cynthia stopped and looked into his eyes, daring him to use his powers of persuasion. "You got what you wanted, right? You came to see how dead I was, how fucked I was, and now you've got your answer."

"You're not dead on the inside, Cynthia." Simon rose to his full height. This time the power rolling off of him in waves meant to soothe not terrify.

"Bull. I died that night, Simon. I just didn't know it until I came here."

The immortal stood there silently, letting his gentle gaze met hers without vampiric control. After several moments passed, he asked softly, "The night your mother and sister died or when I left you?"

Cynthia lifted her chin, not caring that mucus was still pouring out of her nose. "You pick." Glancing down at her wrist, she saw the time and mentally cursed herself. _I shouldn't have chosen this path. I should've known better._ Hastily she wiped her nose with her sleeve. Her voice returned to its familiar coldness. "This apartment is going to blow in 17 minutes, Simon. Feel free to stay if you wish, but I won't. I've got work to do."

She turned away and felt her back prick with tension. _Let me walk away this time. Let me walk away from YOU._

"We go back to the beginning…"

The whisper was the only warning Cynthia had before her body automatically ducked down. Simon's arms adjusted in that split-second and caught her.

"No, Cynthia," he whispered in her ear as he hauled her small body against his. "You are not going to be a part of this madness. I won't let you."

The possible feelings of primitive lust were lost on the enraged girl. The only emotions aroused from his body being tightly pressed hers were wrath and betrayal.

"Does Buffy mean that much to you, Simon?" she spat in tormented jealousy as she leaned forward as far as his hold would allow. "Do you want to fuck her too? Is that it?"

The vampire remained silent. His powerful arms brought his captive's body closer while his mouth descended to the crook of her neck.

Feeling the touch of his fangs, Cynthia's eyes widened in panic. Instinct couldn't fathom the uselessness of struggle. Swearing, kicking, and screaming, the dark-haired girl fought to escape his hold. However, all of her training, all the cold logic which had kept her alive for years disappeared.

In Simon's arms, Cynthia was merely a human girl with no power against this ancient vampire.

"I'm not going out like this! Not after all this…no fucking way!" she hissed in fury as Simon's fangs slowly broke through the fragile barrier of skin and tissue. "I've been compromised!" she shouted into the air. "Agent down! Evacuate all collateral and incinerate location J7341! NOW!"

Then it was over.

Cynthia could feel her blood rush out in a river of lamentation. Cold immediately followed heat, alternating between the two until she could no longer tell the difference. Rage overcame grief but she was helpless beneath the vampire's superior force.

Distantly she could hear the piercing scream of the fire alarm echo throughout the building. The pounding of feet and the crying of an infant made its way into her fading consciousness.

However, the violation of being drained was only surpassed by the intoxicating ecstasy humming steadily throughout her body. Even the pressure of Simon pressed against her back made her skin come alive and vibrate in pleasure. Cynthia's womb tightened in expectation as her mouth opened in a languorous moan.

She heard him growl softly before the world exploded in her eyes. Her chest arched forward and her limbs became stiff. "Unh!" The cry escaped Cynthia's red lips as the power of her orgasm tore right through veins. She felt his wicked teeth slide out, leaving a bloody wound behind.

"I don't watch her. I watch YOU. And I don't do this for THEM, Cynthia," Simon whispered from behind her. "I don't do this because I pine for the Slayer. I do this because I love you and I won't let you die for this cause."

 _Die?_ The words filtered through her hazy intellect, but Cynthia found she couldn't manage coherent thought. Finally, she slipped under the black waves of unconsciousness.

Simon held his precious girl against his body, shifting his hold so that his arms slid beneath her knees. He could hear the Cleaners coming, along with several others. A terrifying smile lit his face briefly before disappearing. Looking up into one of the numerous cameras lining the ceiling and walls, Simon promised, "You're not taking her back, Asheburne. Finish your intrigue with another tool."

His nostrils flared as the acrid smell of accelerant instantly filled the apartment. Without another word, he tucked Cynthia against him, turned, and ran straight through the window. Flying into the air, he heard the mortal cries of alarm beneath before a deafening boom obliterated all sound.

Landing on the rooftop across, he arched his back, covering Cynthia completely, as a shower of mortar and glass sprayed over it. Simon knew no one actually saw him or Cynthia-they only saw the window explode right before the apartment did as well. So the residents were safe, at least he would pray they were. _But they're not as important right now._ He waited a moment, waited to feel the shame his thoughts should've created.

Simon felt nothing.

For a creature who had spent centuries ensuring his part in creating balance between mortals and immortals, he felt no balance within at the moment. His body pounded with the phantom memory of adrenalin while his hands shook slightly with the need to decimate and destroy all who opposed him. If he looked in a mirror right now, the vampire knew his eyes would reflect the deepest blood.

And it was all for her.

Simon glanced down at the girl in his arms. Her eyes were closed and a small trickle of blood slid down her temple. Carefully brushing her curls aside, Simon searched for the projectile and found it. He plucked the tiny sliver of glass and threw it aside.

Leaning down, he gently ran his tongue across the wound and watched it close. The taste of her blood summoned the ravenous beast lying in wait behind civility and control. His mouth opened and a glint of fangs broke through. Once more, he leaned over her slim neck and settled his mouth across her skin. The first spurt of delicious blood hit his throat before Simon's eyes widened in disgust and horror at his unconscious actions.

Pulling back from Cynthia's insensible body, he straightened up and adjusted his hold. Even though they couldn't see him, the Watchers would be able to disassemble his illusion and find her heat. Simon had to move them both.

Without another moment of hesitation, the vampire leapt from the rooftop down to the streets below. Weaving through the gathered crowds, he ignored Emma's cries.

"Oh, my God! I just saw her! Her and her cousin! They couldn't have still been in there!"

The fading sunlight didn't burn and the glass shards embedded in his skin didn't hurt. The only pain Simon carried was the one in his arms. Only it no longer centered on Cynthia's cold, deliberations….it centered on his own.

The music pounded fiercely and the smell of sweat, liquor, and sex was strong. Angelus should've been in vampiric heaven right now, but he wasn't.

He was only at the Cavern.

"Daddy?" Druscilla's hand clutched his wrist as she sought his attention. Dutifully waiting until he turned to her, the delicate vampiress asked, "Can I dance with my suitors?"

Angelus regally nodded his head and accepted her chaste kiss across the mouth. He watched as she skipped down the stairs and onto the floors. His hooded eyes noted the happiness in her smile as she pressed her slim body against the young man's.

A cynical smile lifted the side of his mouth. _Easy meal._

His hand drifted down to his pocket, feeling the cool metal beneath. The need to dial the number again was strong. With an inaudible curse, Angelus ripped his hand away. _She didn't pick up the last time. I'll be damned if I dial her again._

The dark vampire lifted the crystal glass and eagerly swallowed his drink. The scotch burned a path down his throat, giving momentary pleasure but doing nothing to erase the feelings of unease lodged in his gut.

Angelus idly glanced around, noting those who were familiar and those who were not. _No Simon. Hmm. Wonder where that bastard is._ Settling back into his chair, he wondered not for the first time, exactly what he was doing here.

 **UPDATED: DECEMBER 1, 2004**

="" i=""

The vampire ignored his own advice and raised his glass at the passing waitress. It was pitiful really. All the power in this town had been in his hands and now it was slipping away like granules of sand.

The little Mayor of Sunnydale had visited him today and said as much.

" _ **Angelus…I don't know what to say."**_

" _ **Maybe that means you should be quiet."**_

" _ **Now, don't take that tone with me, Mr. Gryphon. I'm only here to help."**_

" _ **That's not my last name, pissant."**_

" _ **Angelus? Are you going to be difficult or are you going to the Master Vampire I know you can be?"**_

" _ **Very well. What is it, Mr. Mayor?"**_

" _ **I know about that debacle with the assassins."**_

…

" _ **Angelus…you know what I'm talking about. Silence with me won't work. Silence with THEM will."**_

…

" _ **I'm here to help in any way I can. But in order for me to do that, you've got to get back in the game."**_

" _ **I never left it."**_

" _ **Now, don't get testy. I know how the pleasures of the flesh can cloud our minds. Temptation is a very powerful thing—Eve didn't get Adam thrown out of the Garden just for the apple, if you know what I mean."**_

" _ **Cute."**_

" _ **I think so too. Now, you cannot continue to favor the Slayer the way you have. Raping her in front of the Gathering—that shows domination. Taking her on weekend trips and buying out the Gap does not."**_

" _ **I don't need lessons in domination, Mayor. I'm a pro at it—among other things."**_

" _ **Angelus, there's no need to bring torture into this. As a partner, no, as a friend, I'm strongly advising you to end this liaison you have with the Summers girl."**_

…

" _ **Listen to me! Forget the fact that the city of Sunnydale gifted you this nice penthouse, worth millions I might add, in return for services still non-rendered. If you let things progress the way they have been, you will lose everything you've worked so hard for! I can promise you."**_

" _ **And who's gonna take it from me? You?"**_

" _ **Not me. The Clans."**_

And that was the bitch of it all. The Mayor had been right. His time was running out and apparently not only Angelus knew it.

Accepting the glass from the waitress, the vampire directed her in a clipped voice to, "Bring the bottle." He resisted the urge to run his fingers through his hair in frustration. The pulsating music pounded into his body, driving it mad. He was deep shit. Deep, deep shit.

Killing your own minions was one thing. Killing the delegation from a neighboring clan was an entirely different affair.

It was murder without honor.

Angelus was in up to his eyeballs and he couldn't even claim that it was all Buffy's fault.

 _I did this to myself._

There were no witnesses to his crime, but the whispers were loud. Already he had a delegate call him this afternoon. After cutting through the crap, he had been asked if the order was still out on his lover.

So what had he answered?

Yes.

To reply any other way was to admit to fault. However, the delegate's call was but a subtle warning. The Clans smelled betrayal.

The nameless waitress promptly returned with his bottle of liquid sin. Flashing her a typical, lusty grin, Angelus accepted her coy, feline smirk. He watched as she sashayed down the aisle, but his sight was blind to the server's abundant charms. Vaguely he wondered if had already fucked her. He couldn't remember. There had been too many to count in the last two months.

His lover's heartbroken face suddenly appeared before Angelus.

If Buffy had any clue that he had been screwing girls almost nightly…

Nausea roiled about in his gut. A grimace of pain and sickness flashed across his face before he remembered where he was. Angelus could not afford to show weakness, not tonight, not ever.

Uncapping the bottle, he carefully poured the scotch. He couldn't let the watching patrons know he needed the drink badly. _Can't be weak. Can't show 'em anything._

However, he couldn't dismiss the twisted fear he felt at the thought of Buffy finding out about his sins. While he never fed from his conquests, he did share his body and that would be enough to drive his Slayer into a jealous rage.

It was wrong in her eyes and if he were to be honest, it was wrong in his as well. At first he had started it as a way to show the world…himself…that HE was in charge. He had to prove to the night that Buffy did not hold his cock hostage.

But instead of boldly telling his whore what the deal was, Angelus had slunk about in the shadows like a cowardly piece of shit.

He bit back a curse. It shouldn't be a big deal to begin with! The flesh meant nothing. It was a lurid, anonymous way to find release. He looked at the girls he had taken the same way he would look at his hand—a means to an end.

She was the only one who slept in his bed. She was the only one meant anything. That should be enough!

 _Yeah, right._

Still, if Buffy had any clue that he had been screwing anyone else other than her…

" **You made my mom think she could have you! She can't! NO ONE CAN!"**

" **You're mine Angelus, and I'm not sharing. Ever."**

" **I told you that you were mine! Mine—you stupid, dead, son-of-a-bitch!"**

" **I don't know what we are, but I can't take the thought of you being with anyone other than me. I'll…I'll go CRAZY if that happens."**

" **I won't be a replacement for another girl. No matter what I've done for you, I won't do that."**

Irrationally, he wished he could undo what his libido and pride had wrought. _She can't know. She can't ever know._ More lies to spin, more secrets to keep. It seemed all Angelus did was keep the ever-revolving wheel of self-preservation turning.

He sipped his scotch, nursing his fears and disgust in the way he did centuries before. _Wrong. In the way ANGEL did before._ He let the sharp smell of alcohol waft across his senses, dulling them to the point of toleration. Existing in this half-life was driving him mad. Sometimes the memories of life and death were mixing together in a messy jumble and Angelus didn't know what was his.

And then Buffy sure as fuck didn't help either.

Ever since their bond had opened to allow him to feel her, everything had changed. While Angelus took perverse joy in her chaotic emotions of passion and hatred, the path went both ways. By feeling her emotions, apparently he was forced to feel his own. There were times when he could swear that what he felt had nothing to do with her and everything to do with his own feelings.

It was disgusting.

So the more Angelus felt, the more he tried NOT to feel. It was working, at least for a time. Then Buffy had walked out on him and then everything went to Hell.

He had become a vampire without shame, a gutless creature possessed by the need for his woman.

It was humiliating.

Angelus refilled his glass and drank it down instantly. _Sloppy, sloppy. Now I definitely look like a vampire who's trying to get drunk._ Topping off his glass once more, Angelus downed the liquid fire again. _So what? I'm getting drunk. Who really gives a shit? I don't. Fuck it. Fuck it all._

The crush of sex and blood suddenly became overwhelming. Angelus kept drinking, not caring about his fading image of power. Bottle after bottle visited his table while Druscilla danced in glee on the floor. Through his alcohol haze her joy reminded him of another's.

 _Buffy._

It was sick but Angelus could not escape his pain. He existed to keep her by his side. He craved to live through her joy. The more she felt, the closer he came to being real.

In her arms, Angelus became something more than an abomination. Buried deep inside her, he became a man. Buffy's passion made him something worthy of adoration. The more she cried out for him, the more he could pretend to deserve it. The more she said she loved him, the more he wanted to know love.

But the more he fucked faceless females, the more he knew he only deserved Buffy's hatred.

 _I'm so fucking pathetic._ Pain visited the empty hole inside his chest. _I'm going to destroy us both._ Angelus felt hollow and worthless. He was nothing but a whore. He whored himself for pleasure, for power, and for prestige.

The vampire shook his head. _It's the booze. It's making me stupid._ Unbuttoning his shirt, his hand slipped to the crucifix lying boldly against his skin.

A nasty smirk etched itself into his beautiful face. Soon after, wicked laughter seeped from his mouth. If there was anything to take from the debacle of his emergence in Sunnydale, it was this. _I'm the only vampire of this clan to reach this kind of power. First the Slayer and now God. Nothing can stop me._ A dark scowl transformed his face into brooding perfection. _Buffy. She made me like this. I need her…_

Automatically, his drugged mind stretched out, seeking to find Buffy. In an instance he saw her. She was leaving the church, a smile on her pretty face. Buffy reached up and hugged the slender man in black. Angelus' hand tightened on his glass until it shattered. He was beyond caring what any of the interested immortal spectators might think of his uncontrolled actions.

They were beneath him.

They were nothing.

They could go to Hell and stay there.

It wasn't their mistress in the company of Christ. It wasn't their girl who constantly reminded them of how abject and beneath grace they were.

Focusing on the loathsome scene before him, Angelus watched as the hated priest returned her affection and waved his hand in farewell. The drunken vampire immediately closed the connection.

This was why he loathed opening up his mind to her. He HATED seeing her with any man, regardless of purpose. And he ESPECIALLY hated that fucking priest.

Angelus' smile disintegrated into a poisoned parting of the lips.

 _I'm the Master here. I do what I want. Everyone in Sunnydale lives or dies by my command._

Reaching into his coat pocket, Angelus fished out his cell phone. With minimal movement, the dangerously intoxicated vampire connected with an ever-present minion.

"Master Angelus?"

"I want you to do something for me tonight." The silence on the other end was one of absolute obedience. Angelus looked out onto the dance floor and saw a world of wickedness. The club lights made him feel dizzy and drunk with power. He focused on Druscilla's gothic beauty, her innocently evil joy.

 _Poison. The prettiest poison in the world is found in a woman's smile. I fucking hate them all._ Angelus suppressed a bark of nasty laughter. Focusing on his rage, he whispered, "I want you to take care of someone. A priest."

"His name?"

"Marion. I want you to slit his throat and bleed him dry. Don't turn him…just make him disappear. You got that?"

"It will be done, Master."

Angelus closed the connection with a flip of his wrist. Stuffing the phone back in his jacket, he felt numb. His demon rejoiced.

 **THAT FUCKER HAD IT COMING! THE BITCH IS LUCKY YOU DON'T HAVE HER BLED DRY!**

His knuckles stood out sharply against his pale, elegant hand. The vortex of his fears and nightmares came to macabre life, mocking Angelus with the terrifying feeling of helplessness.

" **Safe. You're safe."  
"You came. They told me you wouldn't."  
"Safe."  
"I'm sorry that I believed them."  
"I can't risk you anymore."  
"Angelus?"  
"Close your eyes, my love."'**

Angelus stood up abruptly. His black eyes narrowed in silent command. "Dru!"

The fey vampiress froze in the midst of her spirited dance. Raising her head, she immediately caught her sire's gaze. Druscilla's shoulder's slumped slightly as tragic melancholy seized her spirit. _This is how it ends. Daddy's eyes will cry oceans of sacrifice before Mercy visits him._

Helpless inevitability flamed the heat of madness. She couldn't help him. She couldn't warn him. All she could do was listen to the stars and watch as her body played their will.

Druscilla became one with Fate.

She obeyed it blindly and went to Angelus. When she reached his side, she could smell the stench of liquor. The amount he drank would have easily killed two grown men. As it was, it only made Angelus extremely intoxicated.

His arm snaked around her slim waist. With a leer, he asked, "When's the last time I fucked you, Dru?"

"I don't know, Angelus," she murmured with a choked sigh.

He leaned forward and soundly kissed her lips. "I want you tonight. Here. In the back room."

Druscilla dropped her gaze and nodded her head.

He didn't bother to speak to his childe any further. Instead he walked off, expecting her to follow him obediently.

She kept pace with Angelus' large, menacing form. The crowds parted and the whispers began. Soon, the serpent would find its way to the Slayer.

And when it did…nothing would be the same again.

Buffy walked towards the Bronze with a slight spring in her step. After leaving Father Marion, she had rushed home to shower and change. The little black dress with matching jacket and heels made Buffy feel ultra sophisticated.

It was just one of the many outfits Angelus had bought for her recently. Although she hadn't wanted him to, he insisted on replacing the entire wardrobe he had trashed the night their relationship had went on meltdown.

She, of course, had gracefully accepted his will.

Buffy's feet walked their familiar route, heels clicking loudly in the night. As usual, the streets were nearly empty. So it was a surprise when she heard an unfamiliar voice call out her name.

Abruptly coming to a stop, Buffy watched as a stranger walked up to her. The young woman looked to be about in her early twenties. Without preamble she asked, "You're Buffy, right?"

The Slayer sensed the stranger was completely human. So the question was obvious when she answered, "Yes."

"You're going with this dude named Angel, right?"

Buffy wasn't quite sure how to answer that question, so she asked one of her own. "Why?"

Apparently her question was answer enough. A look of empathetic anger twisted the stranger's mouth. "Well, I just want to let you know that I've been played before and if someone had just told me when to catch my asshole ex-boyfriend in the act, I totally would've appreciated it. AFTER I kicked his ass."

Buffy felt her stomach twist queerly in fear. "What do you mean?" _No. No, this isn't happening to me._

"I just saw your man go into the back room with some chick."

The world dropped out from beneath Buffy's feet. _Oh my God. No. No. No._

"It's not like she was even really that hot. She was some anorexic skank."

Buffy's face blanched as one name came to mind. _Druscilla._

The Samaritan continued. "I don't know her name but it sounded like Pru…Priscilla. Something like that."

"Druscilla," Buffy replied in a flat monotone. _He lied to me. He made me think I was all he ever wanted…all he ever needed. I've been so stupid. Stupid…_

"Yeah! That's it." The woman's voice dropped into a sympathetic tone. "Anyway, like I said, I don't want to bring anybody down by spreading rumors and shit. But when I saw you, I just couldn't let you walk away without knowing. Every woman deserves to know when she's being played."

"Being played," Buffy repeated evenly. "Yeah." She drew a shuddering a breath and dropped her gaze to the handbag in her grasp. Angel's silver ring flashed beautifully beneath the dark light filtering in from the moon. _Angelus knows I love him. He KNOWS it! But it's not enough for him? Even after last night?_

" **Will you be different tomorrow, Angelus?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"Will this be over once the sun rises? Will you change your mind and break my heart?"  
"No, Buffy. Tomorrow will be the same. And the tomorrow after that. And the one after that. Nothing will change."  
"I believe you. I believe you."  
"Nothing will change."'**

Rage ravaged all of Buffy's reason. Her heart exploded with the agony of betrayal. Her small fists tightened and her body began pulsing with the need for vengeance. "That dead son-of-a-bitch!" she hissed, already dismissing the fact that someone was still there. "I'm going to fucking kill him!"

The informant nodded her head in satisfaction and agreement. "Listen—you can still kick his sorry ass. They went in not even ten minutes ago."

Buffy whipped her head up and demanded, "Where is he?"

With a thumb, the woman gestured, "In the club back there."

"Club? You mean the Bronze?"

"Oh, hell no!" she exclaimed. "Not there. At the Cavern."

Buffy's mouth tightened. "I've never heard of it. Where's it at?"

"Just down that alley. There's a big, blue sign. You can't miss it." The Samaritan turned away before calling out, "By the way, there's no cover charge tonight, so you can go right in."

"Wait! Where are the back rooms?"

"There's two sets. The ground floor is for regular people like us. The top floor is private. I think it's for the owners or something. You know, the VIP crowd. That's the one he's on."

Buffy's face was a mask of demented rage as she stated sincerely, "Thanks for your help."

She smiled widely and answered, "No prob." The smile disappeared abruptly. "Now kick his ass AND his slut's too."

Without another word, Buffy rushed by the young woman, her mind completely trained on destroying both Angelus and Druscilla. So intent was she on her prey, Buffy never heard her Samaritan whisper, "Subject A on the make."

When you're taught through feelings

Destiny flying high above  
All I know is that you can realize it

Destiny who cares  
As it turns around  
And I know that it descends down on me

It's just another day  
The shame is gone  
Hard to believe  
That I've let it go

Destiny can't replace my life  
Scary shadows of my past  
Are alive

Destiny who cares  
As it turns around  
And I know that it descends  
With a smile

It's just another day  
The shame is gone  
It's hard to believe  
That I've let it go away

It's just a melody  
It bleeds in me  
Hard to believe  
I've let it go

"Swamped" by Lacuna Coil from their album "Comalies"

The light hurt her eyes.

Cynthia groaned softly as she started to shift to her side. Her memories of Simon assaulted her along with the light. _I can't believe that fucker actually bit me. Bastard._ Cynthia cautiously glanced about, seeking to find out how much trouble she was in, based on her surroundings. Scuffed hardwood floors greeted her but nothing else. The only sound in the air was her breathing.

Simon's Slavic voice whispered suddenly in the silence. "You're awake."

There was no point in denying it. The vampire had already heard the biological responses signaling consciousness. Cynthia sat up gingerly while swallowing several times. Her shoulders bowed in pain as she winced from the overhead light's brightness.

"Are you thirsty?"

She nodded her head once and waited. His footsteps echoed eerily in the room, making Cynthia feel tense with wariness.

Simon's legs neatly dropped into a crouch. He held out a bottle of water and murmured, "It will go away soon. You're body is just trying to-"

"Be quiet," she croaked, refusing to look at him. "Don't talk to me as if I'm some dumb human you picked up off the streets. I know what's happening, Simon."

Chastened, he remained quiet. After she drank the entire bottle he spoke again. "You're not turning."

The glare she stabbed him with should've turned him into a pile of bones and ash. "I know that. I'm still as human as I ever was." The bite in her words taunted the vampire with the issues that lay between them.

Simon's eyes gleamed with an inner fire built on determination. "Asheburne isn't going to be looking for you right now, so you're safe here. At least for a few more hours."

"I'm not staying in this room."

"Oh, yes you are," he contradicted coldly. "You're not moving from here until I say so."

"You're wrong." Cynthia's dark gaze met his in challenge. "You can't stop me, Simon."

His lean face held no mercy within its hard lines. "Don't mistake my kindness for weakness, Cynthia."

"Kindness?" she spat. With a black stare, she accused, "Keeping me in this cage with no furniture, blankets, or even a toilet is kindness?"

Simon stood up and stared down at her from his awesome height. "You know I can't trust you right now. An empty room is the safest option for you."

"Why don't you just finish it off and chain me up? Or better yet—why don't you just bite me again and put me in my place?"

"Because I don't need to. But try me, Cynthia…" The vampire's warning communicated itself easily.

She felt her cheeks flush from frustrated fury. As long as Simon kept his distance, he held the upper hand. Apparently the vampire knew it as well. Taking a deep breath, Cynthia forced her body to find some measure of calm. If she allowed her emotions to rule, she would never be able to outwit Simon. _Calm down. Wait him out. He'll screw up. He has to._

Slowly, she felt her control returning. Cynthia's gaze dropped to her wrist and saw the time. _Shit! I slept too long. I'm running behind!_ Her calm dissipated immediately and she nearly screamed aloud in rage. The scenario was unfolding fast and if she didn't watch out, she wouldn't be there to take her place.

"Your anger is loud, Cyn." His tone was faintly mocking. "Where's your composure, Nina?" Simon watched as her face became a blank canvas. "Shutting off your feelings like they don't exist isn't going to help you, Cynthia."

She remained silent. Her gaze became fixed on the barred door.

The vampire followed the line of her sight. He let out a weary sigh. "Let me take you away from here. Let me help you."

"It's a little too late, Simon, to act as if you want to help me."

"I DO want to help." He walked in front of Cynthia, firmly blocking her potential escape route.

"Oh yeah? Well, where the hell were you two years ago?" Her voice burned from the lack of emotion. "Where were you when I was getting my head kicked in?"

Simon winced with severe shame.

"I'll tell you where," Cynthia answered blithely. "You were washing me off your body for the millionth time. You were hiding from me, convinced that you were some child molester because we made love."

"It was WRONG, Cynthia. A fifteen year old should not—"

"A fifteen year old shouldn't be working for power-driven Watchers either, should she?" she broke in brutally. "A fifteen year old shouldn't have been helping take care of her baby sister since she was three herself, because her mother was out working in a factory for less than minimum wage, should she? A fifteen year old shouldn't have been wiping the same sister's tears while her mother was off sleeping with whoever would take her, just so she could make a little bit of extra money, should she?"

Cynthia's eyes remained hard as she finished with, "A fifteen year old shouldn't have watched her mother and sister get beaten to death in front her either, should she?"

"Nina…" The vampire's eternal agony was there for her to hear in his one word.

"Don't fucking call me that!" Her breath became agitated, little beads of sweat appearing on her dusky brow. "I hate it when you call me that! I'm not a little girl, Simon. I'm a woman. I have been for two years." Her gaze rose in bitter challenge. "You made sure of that…or don't you remember?"

Simon dropped his eyes in disgrace.

"I came to you that afternoon. I came to you for help. And what did you do? You turned me away. You refused to see me."

"I'm sorry." The whisper dripped with audible grief and sincerity.

"Your sorry doesn't mean shit to me, Simon."

He swallowed several times, struggling to find his belated words. "I shouldn't have let what happened…between us…interfere with our friendship. I should've let you in."

Cynthia's black orbs glittered with cynical frustration. "What happened? That's awfully clinical of you, Simon. You make it sound as dry as one of my reports." She raised her voice and stated evenly, "Female adolescent engaged in sexual activity with adult male at approximately 01:13. Lasted five minutes twenty-three seconds. Male ejaculated, female did not."

Her barb struck beautifully. Simon's jaw clenched with an undefined emotion.

"Although, to be fair," she drawled hatefully. "I would add that the adult male performed once more until the female adolescent achieved physical release."

"Stop it," he commanded with a growl.

"You stop it!" Cynthia screamed back. "You turned your back on me because of your own hang-ups, Simon! Not mine!"

"Damnit, girl!" he roared, slamming his hands onto the floor. Without conscious thought, the vampire found himself right in front of Cynthia. Only inches separated the two. "It's not a question of morals. It never was!"

"Bullshit." Her face became tight and drawn. "The fact that I was underage bothered you. Let me clue you in on something—fifteen and eighteen aren't that damned different. If the age of consent in this country was twelve, would that have made you feel better?"

"If I wasn't so sure it would break your neck," Simon growled. "I would slap you right now, Cynthia."

Instead of being intimidated, the dark-haired girl yelled louder. "Go ahead! Slap me! At least you'd be showing some type of emotion for me. You accuse me of being some ice queen, but you're the one who's made out of ice!"

Simon grabbed Cynthia and held onto her. "That's not true!" he all but screamed. "You mean everything to me and you always have!"

Pushing at his chest with all her strength, she shrieked back, "Liar! LIAR! I loved you and you let me down! I should've hated you for it, but did I? No! I didn't! I still loved you! I wanted to leave with you! I wanted to quit being this…this…supernatural freak agent! Do you understand what that must've meant to me? Are you even capable of comprehending it? I was willing to give it all up for you!"

The vampire's eyes bled from azure to crimson. Not in rage, but in unmentionable lamentation. "I didn't want you to! I didn't want you to become my human pet, don't you see?" Her silence eloquently told him no. Heaving a sound of pain, he apologized. "I'm sorry, Cyn. I'm so sorry. I was wrong. I should've taken you with me. When you came to me, I should've taken you. I should've…" Simon's voice trailed away into nothingness.

"But you didn't."

"I didn't and I'm going to regret that for the rest of my life."

"No. You won't."

"How can you say that to me?" Simon cried in a strangled whisper. "Of course I will! I've regretted it every day since! Do you know how often I wish I could take it back—all of it?" He dropped his head and said in revulsion, "If only I hadn't allowed myself to fall into my weakness…if only I hadn't…"

"What?" Cynthia demanded in the ensuing silence. "Made love to me?"

The vampire met her hard gaze and replied quietly, "Yes."

Inside she could feel her heart crack along a long-scarred fissure. It didn't break, but it bled in humiliation. "You still want to see me as a little girl, don't you?"

"I can't," he whispered while laying his head against hers. "I wish I could, but I can't."

"Why?" Although Cynthia's voice was even, inside her heart began beating from a different type of fury. She remembered the wicked sensation of falling apart in his arms and wanted to feel it again. Two years of feeling nothing, of being nothing, disappeared in one act of subjugation…and she loved it.

Cynthia gave thought to Buffy and felt her cheeks pale. Months of watching the Slayer get fucked by Angelus in nearly every conceivable position had left her physically unmoved. The only thing the Slayer had stirred in Cynthia was cold disgust. As she filtered through the raw images, Cynthia had judged Buffy, seeing her as undisciplined and weak.

In this minute of moral decay, Cynthia knew Buffy. She WAS Buffy.

"Why?" she repeated again, an edge of desperation not wholly belonging to the vampire sounding clearly in her voice. _If she feels even a tenth of what I'm feeling right now, than I…I finally get her. I know why she lets Angelus in her. I know why._

"You know why," Simon replied in a regretful murmur of embarrassment.

He pulled away from her slowly. Even though his head was bowed, Cynthia could see his prided balance faltering. When Simon dared to stare into her gaze, the dark-haired girl let out a painful gasp. She could see the battle raging inside of him—a brutal battle between his humanity and his vampiric need to dominate.

"Simon," she choked out.

"I can't forget you," he rasped. His iron grip eased, just so both hands could glide up her body. The vampire's fingers came to a rest right beneath her breasts. Cynthia could feel tiny tremors flow from his body into hers. "I can't forget how you felt…how you made me feel."

The small girl stayed in his embrace, needing to give into it. She lifted her face and leaned into his mouth. Simon backed away immediately.

"Don't!" she demanded.

He froze, torn between following his heart and listening to his logic.

Emboldened by the vampire's stance, Cynthia reached out and held his exotic face between her two small palms. "Don't…" she repeated again in a husky voice. Her mouth brushed against his. "Don't turn away from me, Simon." She kissed him softly and groaned from the sensation of finally having his cool mouth on hers. "Please don't…please make it right," she whispered before flicking her tongue against his. "Let me make it right."

"It's wrong," he groaned, lost within his love.

"No, it's not," she replied in a comforting voice. "This has always been right." Cynthia smoothed her hands across Simon's lean back. When he kept his same tortured position, she took his unresisting hand and boldly placed it on her breast. "I'm here, right now, Simon. I'm here."

He carefully tightened his hand, inspiring a moan from them both.

"Cyn…"

"Ah…harder."

Simon's slender fingers obeyed before unerringly finding her nipple. His face crumbled into the lines of a man drowning in sin. "Please stop me. Please stop me before it's too late."

Cynthia leaned her body closer to his, practically purring in pleasure at his touch. "If you really want to stop, Simon, then stop," she sighed while kissing the corners of his hard mouth. "I won't force you." She punctuated her statement with a firm squeeze between his thighs.

"Don't play this game with me," he hissed while jerking his hips against her hand.

"I'm not playing…you are." Without another word, she crushed her mouth against his.

With a guilty whimper, Simon gave into temptation. Kissing Cynthia was hell but it was worth every moment of penance he was sure to suffer. He dug his fingers into her breast and elicited a cry of pleasured pain. "I'm sorry," he apologized while pulling away.

"Goddamnit, Simon," she said while reaching up to pull his hair out of its neat queue. "Quit treating me like glass."

Her words, while harsh, lacked in heat. She played with the rich blond strands hanging down about his handsome face. Cynthia rubbed her cheek against his for a brief moment before moving away. She wound her fingers in his shirt and then ripped it apart.

The initial violence became a sweet, torturous contrast against the heat of her tongue, lips, and teeth. She latched onto a smooth nipple and moaned in abandonment as Simon tunneled his hands within her curls. When he growled, she looked up, teeth on his skin.

"I need you, Cyn." Simon's eyes were two orbs of crimson glass, hungry and wanting.

Her reply was a slide of her body and deep, voracious kiss.

The tall vampire broke away several minutes later and began kissing whatever patch of feminine skin he could find. With greedy hands, he removed her loose top and threw it over his shoulder. One clawed finger reached out and slit her bra. His eyes dilated as the intense passion he felt for Cynthia decimated all logic and guilt.

"Beautiful," he whispered in an exquisite sigh.

Settling on her small, perfectly curved breasts, Simon took her brown nipple in his mouth and devoured it. Her gasps of ecstasy tormented even as they exalted. He could feel her petite legs tighten about his waist and it made the vampire feel the fires of Hell in his cock.

"Kiss me, Simon." Cynthia's demand was cloaked in a pretty plea, one that made him cringe even as it made him grow harder.

He released her plump breast instantly and moved up her body. When he leaned over her parted lips, she placed one hand on his mouth and shook her head. "Kiss me," she repeated while presenting her neck.

Simon's eyes narrowed in disbelief. "No!"

"Yes," she demanded while bringing her neck closer. "Yes."

The vampire fought the instinctual clamor for blood. "Cyn, no."

"Simon…yes." Cynthia settled her neck against his mouth and waited for him to bring her to the edge of intoxicating death. "I know you…I've always known you," she murmured. "Don't hold back from me…do it."

He closed his eyes and committed blasphemy.

Simon's needle-sharp teeth broke through her satin flesh and exposed the bloody tissue inside. He could hear her heart quicken. Spurts of Cynthia's blood rushed out and exploded in his mouth. The vessels contracting in her body worked to give him everything he had ever wanted and desired.

And Simon was dying inside.

Seemingly oblivious to his sorrow, Cynthia clutched him tightly and writhed her hips against his. Her cries grew louder and louder while his grew silently in tandem. Locked in their mortal embrace, both felt as if the world lost all meaning and substance. The only thing that was real was blood.

Swimming through a crimson cloud, Cynthia could barely remember why she was there. She could barely bring herself to care about Asheburne, Buffy, Angelus, Spike, or the Hellmouth. She could barely see a world beyond Simon. His hunger, her pain, and their love was all that mattered.

However, barely was not enough and now more than ever, she wished it was.

 _I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Simon._ Following her silent apology, Cynthia exploded in glorious sensation and screamed his name, "Simon!"

The vampire immediately retracted his teeth as he held her with complete adoration. The scent of her release invaded his system, whipping it into a frenzy of need. It was a testament to Simon's age and control that kept him from ripping his pants off and driving into her body.

Oh, but it hurt. It hurt badly.

Once Cynthia came down, his tongue flicked out to heal the punctures when she jerked her neck away.

"No," she sighed in satisfaction. "I want to keep them."

"But it'll scar," he warned.

"I know."

The symbolism of her decision moved the vampire to raw humility. Simon laid his head against hers, smoothing back her curls with a gentle hand. His chest remained still, but fine tremors ran throughout his body once more. "I love you, Cyn."

Cynthia's throat grew hoarse. "I love you too."

Simon heard the unmistakable physiological sounds of grief in her body. Raising up on his arms, he was about to ask her what was wrong when his cell phone suddenly began ringing.

Simon reached into his pocket to turn it off when Cynthia rasped, "Answer it."

"Later," he replied firmly.

"Don't be irresponsible," she murmured. "It might be important."

The phone kept chiming, shrilly demanding to be answered. Simon held her enigmatic gaze for several seconds before complying slowly. Flipping the phone open, he gruffly said, "Hello?"

As expected, Cynthia could hear the other end clearly.

"Simon, we've got trouble."

"What?"

"The Slayer is here."

Simon shoved up off Cynthia's prone body. "What?!"

"She's here! The Slayer's here! What should we do?"

"Keep calm, Evian," he stated soothingly while glancing down at his lover's body. The dark-haired girl avoided his gaze, choosing instead to turn on her side. "When did she get there?"

"Just now! She just came in."

The blond vampire stood up and walked several feet before stopping. "I see."

"Simon, we all know this is a no-kill zone, but she doesn't! What do we do if she starts pulling out her stake? I'm not into killing girls, but there's no way in hell I'm going to let her dust me just for being a vampire!"

"Stay calm. I'm coming right over." Simon gave thought to Cynthia and held back a sound of frustration.

"Should I call for evacuation?"

"Not yet." Simon paused for a moment. "Is Angelus there?"

"Yes."

"Is he in one of the rooms?"

"Yes."

The blond vampire cursed softly. "That's why she's there. She's been led to him." He glanced over his shoulder to give Cynthia an accusatory stare only to see empty space. _Shit!_ "Evian, take the Slayer to Angelus. Don't interfere, don't be antagonistic. Just take her to him."

"But—"

"I'm hanging up now. I'll be right there." Without waiting for an answer, Simon shut off his phone and whirled to find Cynthia.

Only her heartbeat gave her away a second too late.

Excruciating agony shot through every part of his being. Following the pain came the nightmarish horror of numbness. Simon couldn't feel his body. His supernatural abilities were gone.

It was then he knew.

They had planned this. All of it. The Watchers and Cynthia had run their scenarios and played him as a mark.

With a strangled curse, he dropped to the ground. His heavy-lidded gaze barely saw the weapon in her hand, but he recognized it immediately. It was small and looked like a taser. However, electric current wasn't what ran through its mechanics. If it was, Simon wouldn't have been brought down. No, it was a device far nastier than electricity. Its sole purpose was to drain massive amounts of energy. Immortal energy.

And there was nothing he could do.

"I'm sorry, Simon," her whisper came from the darkness. "I really am."

"Don't…" he croaked out as he flopped about weakly.

"I have to go, but you'll be alright here." She reached out and smoothed back his disheveled hair. His stare bore into hers, demanding an explanation for her betrayal.

She heaved a small sigh and stated, "We don't matter right now, you know that. If it was just about me and you…maybe it'd be different." Her eyes glimmered briefly with tears as she kept the siphon against his bare side. "But I can't let you interfere."

"Damn you…" His slim face started convulsing, the muscles tripping without control and reason.

Cynthia's hooded gaze slid from his, hating to see the helpless terror in Simon's eyes, knowing she was solely responsible for it. Her voice flattened into a staid cadence. "I screwed you over. I know it. I'm sorry for it. I wish I didn't have to do it, but that's neither here nor there. This is where we're at."

"Cold…"

"Cold? Maybe you're right." Cynthia retracted her weapon, stood up, and walked away. She scooped up her discarded shirt and slid it on. When she reached the door, she stopped.

"I said I wanted to know you," she shared in a low, pained voice. "But instead now you know me. This is ME, Simon. This is who I am. This is who I've always been."

"No…"

"YES!" Cynthia's voice dropped down into softness. For the first time in all her months in Sunnydale, she expressed her self-loathing and disgust. "I will lie, I will manipulate, I will even kill if it means that the world can keep going one more day. My whole life has been about this. That won't change. It can't change."

"Doesn't…have…to…be…"

"Yes, it does," she contradicted. "You think I'm here for vengeance on the Slayer, but I'm not. I accepted what happened to me a long time ago. Do I still hate her guts? Fuck yeah I do. Is that going to change at the last hour? Hell, no. To top it off, Angelus is a head-case and prick to boot. They both make me sick." Cynthia took a deep breath and muttered, "But it doesn't matter. In a few hours, I'll be out of here and onto the next profile."

"Wrong…"

"Even if you're right, it won't change anything. Buffy and Angelus chose this path, Simon. No one forced them to make these choices. They could've turned back at any time but they didn't."

"Don't…wrong…"

 _Just finish the job and move on._ Cynthia swallowed the pain and doubt his words inspired. "Goodbye, Simon."

"Cyn…don't…Cyn…thia…"

With a heavy conscience, she opened the door. Stopping in the doorway, she suddenly rushed back to Simon's prone figure. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a semi-automatic pistol. Crouching before him, she pressed the weapon in his hand. "Here. Just in case."

Simon's hand limply held the weapon and he gave no acknowledgement of her presence.

She didn't dare give into her tears, so she jumped up and walked out. She knew she had just burned the only bridge that mattered to her. Inside her heart, a voice screamed, "Go back! Stop this craziness and just go back to him!"

Cynthia ignored it. She couldn't take a chance with Simon. She tried once and it had blown up in her face. No, she couldn't count on love. She couldn't trust in her emotions. The only thing that could be trusted was her work.

It was a lie, but it was one she had no choice but to believe in.

Her feet kept their rhythm, one foot after another, and soon she was out on the street.

As planned, a figure melted from the shadows. "Cynthia."

Without hesitation, she walked over to the man and the small detachment of soldiers. "Asheburne," she stated as greeting.

The older man's pale eyes noted the dried blood peeking through his protégé's partially buttoned shirt. "Is the Ancient down?"

"Yes."

"Good." The smile he gave was chilling. Gesturing to the black van behind him, Asheburne ordered her to, "Get in and get changed. We have a little visit to make."

As Cynthia climbed into the vehicle, she automatically accepted an array of antiseptic, gauze, and medical tape. Her hands efficiently scrubbed down the wound before patching it securely.

Without care for modesty, Cynthia removed her shirt, skirt, and shoes. One of the soldiers passed her several articles of clothing, which she took without a word. As she started dressing herself, she heard Asheburne ask, "You let him scar you. Why?"

"Because I don't want to forget," she answered while hooking her bra.

"Forget what?" he snapped in irritation. "What could you possibly need to remember?"

"Love, Asheburne." Her black gaze rose to meet his in challenge. "I lost love tonight for this stupid thing we call a job. I wanted something to remember my sacrifice—even if it's just another scar on my body." She returned back to her task as the van started up.

"Did you fuck him?" The Watcher asked the question in a pleasant voice, but Cynthia recognized the hatred and resentment hiding beneath.

"No." If she had thought her honesty was enough, she immediately found out she was wrong.

"Perhaps I should rid you of Simon, Santiana." The words were barely above a whisper, but the menace was as strong as a roar.

Even though Cynthia's breath stopped for a moment, her smooth movements never faltered. Sliding into her government-issued pants and knit turtleneck, she coldly replied, "You wouldn't do it. If you did, the Council would see it as a decision based on personal agenda."

Asheburne stared at Cynthia for several seconds, his thoughts effectively hidden from her averted gaze, before leaning back against his seat.

 _Thank God._ She strapped her weapons securely on her body and waited.

The night of reckoning had started and there was no going back. Not for her. Not for Simon.

And especially not for Buffy.

Somehow, Cynthia Santiana didn't feel the satisfaction she had expected. All she felt was sorrow and rot.

I caught their sparkle from the runway  
Such a fool for the Amazon  
Nothing's wrong but it's just not right  
The three of us in the naked light  
No chance for psychotic solutions  
Lost in this three-way dimension  
Imagine you as me and I'll tell you  
Just what I'm thinking

That it feels like you, feels like I, feels like we do

And it feels like, feels like I, feels like we do

And everyone's daze is on  
Look what you've done  
You give yourself away for nothing  
(feels like you, feels like I, feels like we do)  
And you give it all away for nothing  
(feels like you, feels like I, feels like we do)

When will you escape dramatica?

Gifts of pleasure you received  
Everything you wanted from me  
Chemical abduction, restricted our vision  
We were on auto drive  
Don't blame the platforms for your fall  
We were chasing obsession

Imagine you as me and I'll tell you  
Just what was on my mind that night  
'cause it feels like you, feels like I, feels like we do

What's on your mind?

"Dramatica" by Orgy from their album "Vapor Transmission"

Blue and gray.

Those were the first colors Buffy noticed.

Industrial steel made up the soaring walls, while blue lights climbed up every surface with frenetic energy. The iron floor pulsed with blue beams, doing nothing to disguise that half the bodies weren't human.

An immediate awareness of her presence shot through the club. Buffy could see malice staring at her as the bodies drew to a slow undulation.

 _What the hell is this place?_

The humans continued with their amusements, oblivious, never realizing the undercurrents whipping throughout the club.

On another night, Buffy might have felt wary after realizing she had just walked into a vampire den, but her rage had taken away all fear. These vampires didn't matter to her. Her smoldering gaze scanned all faces, intent on finding just two.

When she noted the heavy, black staircase Buffy remembered the Samaritan's words.

" **There's two sets. The ground floor is for regular people like us. The top floor is private. I think it's for the owners or something. You know, the VIP crowd. That's the one he's on."**

There was no hesitation in Buffy's stride as she unerringly made her way towards the stairs. Bodies parted, iridescent gazes filtering through the Slayer's mind as unimportant. Later she would care about this den of immortal iniquity. Not now.

Reaching the top, she paused, feeling a sliver of confusion. Buffy's head whipped to the side when she saw a vampire cautiously making his way over. Her dispassionate gaze noted the creature's short, slender build and handsome face. The green eyes meeting hers were wary but not hostile.

"Slayer, I know why you're here."

"Really?" she replied in a chilling tone.

The vampire's gaze dropped briefly to her clenched fist, apparently relieved not to see a stake clutched between her fingers. "You're looking for Angelus."

Mention of the vampire's name visibly enflamed Buffy's rage. "Where is he?" she choked out.

"Please, follow me." The small vampire turned around and purposely strode down one of the aisles. He heard the Slayer's footsteps and knew without looking that she was inches away from him. Just having this human creature so close to him made Evian feel sick.

Not with hatred, but with fear.

As he approached Angelus' suite, Evian caught sight of his mistress. Her eyes were wide with undisguised fear and he knew it was for him.

"I love you," Laura whispered inaudibly as the two walked past her.

Evian's gut clenched with vulnerability, wishing he could go to her, but knowing he couldn't. He nodded his head briefly in way of response and prayed he would live to see another night.

Buffy saw the silent communication between the vampire and the human girl. The tray in her tightly clenched hands announced her profession of waitress. Buffy's ears heard the whispered confession the cinnamon-haired girl's love to the vampire. The glimpse Buffy got from the same vampire's profile showed he returned it as well.

Both lovers were scared of her and their fear had the power to pierce through Buffy's rage. She allowed her flinty gaze to roam over the immortal faces on either side of her. She saw much of the same fear, along with curiosity, contempt, and amusement.

Before Buffy could process her discovery, he came to an elegant stop. His low voice easily reached her ears. "Angelus' suite is down this hall. It is the second door on the right."

Buffy nodded her head shortly, feeling that a "Thank you" would be ridiculous and misplaced given the circumstances.

The vampire turned away and quickly disappeared into the club's artificial darkness.

Faced with the closed door, Buffy knew this was it. Whatever she saw after this point would change her forever. She raised her chin even as her stomach twisted itself in knots. Suddenly, her toxic memories spewed up an image from the past. Buffy remembered when she once stood on one side of a door with Angelus on the other.

Only then it had been the beginning of their relationship. This time it was the end.

 **UPDATED DECEMBER 12, 2004**

Swallowing her fear, she walked with unwavering purpose down the hallway. She could feel her back burn with the force of a thousand stares. All eyes were on Buffy and she hated Angelus more than ever for betraying her. _They all know. I bet every single one of them know what's happening to me. To them I'm just a joke. A jilted lover. A stupid human._

Buffy's ears roared with blood and her mouth became bitter with the taste of failure. A part of her wanted to curl into a ball and hide. There was doubt Angelus was being unfaithful to her and had been for a while. The fact that the vampire who brought her here knew why she was there—it made her sick to soul.

However, the other part of her…that part didn't care about pain.

That part wanted to split Angelus' skull again. That part wanted to rip every bit of hair from Druscilla's head before slitting her throat. Staking would be too easy. No, Buffy didn't want to make things easy anymore. After all, because she had been stupid and trusting, she had made it easy for Angelus to make a ridiculous fool of her.

Buffy had trouble swallowing back her rage as her feet drew to a stop before the impressive, black door. The pitiful part of her that wanted to curl up came to the front, effectively smothering her fury. Her breathing became jerky as the pain possessed her bleeding heart. She closed her eyes. Tears burned her lids, making them hot and itchy.

Buffy had never been as scared in her life as she was right then.

She was a Slayer, one who had faced demons, masters, monsters, and assassins. She had survived twelve years of school with her sanity still intact. She had survived her parents' divorce. She had survived knowing her mother believed she was a delinquent and a disappointment. She had survived the rejection of her father's busy lifestyle.

She had survived Angel losing his body because of her.

But how was she ever going to survive the next five minutes?

Buffy's cowardly side wished she had left for the Bronze five minutes earlier or five minutes later. The hateful side of herself wished she had never seen the stranger out on the street. The weak side of herself wished she had just kept walking.

 _This hurts so much. Too much! How am I going to open this door and lose him?_

Low masculine laughter suddenly drifted from behind the shut door.

Buffy immediately recognized the tone of Angelus' pleasure. Her eyes flew open with indescribable anguish. She had heard that husky, triumphant chuckle in her ears countless times. The useless part of herself was thrown into a black pit, locked away, and something darker was left in its place.

 _How am I going to lose him? Easy._

Without hesitation, the Slayer kicked open the door.

The large, silver-draped bed, black-stained concrete floor, and windowless walls did not make any impression on Buffy. Only one thing held her dangerous attention.

Her hard hazel gaze took in the sight of Druscilla kneeling before Angelus' splayed thighs. Buffy's worst fears were confirmed when she saw his hard cock freed from his leather pants.

The wicked pair took her appearance in different manners.

Druscilla's cold blue eyes lightened with malicious, feminine victory. She turned away from the smaller blonde girl and continued her vulgar ministrations.

Meanwhile, Angelus' face turned chalky white. He froze beneath Buffy's condemning, dead stare. His dazed gaze dropped to the small bobbing head and life returned to his stilted body.

"Get off me," he hissed while pushing Druscilla to the ground. With unsteady hands, he tucked himself in while distancing himself from the vampiress. "Buffy—"

Buffy stalked into the room and stopped. "What, lover?" The last word was said with emotion so beyond hatred it was terrifying.

"This isn't…it isn't…"

"I CANNOT believe you are going to even TRY to tell me this isn't what I think it is." Her face matched his for pallor but the blood pumping through her veins drummed loudly with life and adrenaline. "Are you truly that stupid?" she snarled venomously. "Or is it that you think I am?"

Angelus felt all traces of alcohol dissipate beneath the enormity of what had just happened. He was stone cold sober and wished to all hells he wasn't. Even though Angelus was looking right at her, standing less than a few feet away from her, he couldn't process the truth. Buffy had FOUND him. SHE FOUND HIM! She had discovered his vile secret and now there would be hell to pay.

"How?" he managed to mumble, keeping a wary eye on Druscilla's unfolding form.

Buffy intercepted his glance, ignoring his unfinished question. "Why you looking at her, Angelus? Scared I'm going to hurt your precious slut?"

At the insult, Druscilla slunk over to cower behind her sire. "You're not going to let her hurt me, are you Daddy?"

Angelus clenched his eyes shut and wished the floor would swallow him whole. _Oh, shit…_ Now he was in the position of defending his childe from his mistress. He was tempted to toss Dru over in the hopes it would appease his lover. Just as quickly as the idea came, it was discarded.

Regardless of how much it would damn him, he could not allow Buffy to hurt Dru. Perhaps it was their shared blood, history, or maybe even guilt—whatever quagmire of emotions he suffered, Angelus knew he wouldn't allow it.

Christ help him now.

"Well, Daddy?" Buffy hissed as she came closer, hazel eyes harder than the most vicious demon in existence. Her gaze was that of a spurned woman and nothing in the world was more terrifying than being the recipient of such a stare. "You gonna protect her from me?" Buffy's voice dropped into a deliberate whisper. "Because you know that's exactly what you're going to have to do."

Angelus swallowed what little moisture he had in his mouth and tasted the acridness of scotch and something darker: fear.

 _If I can get out of this alright, if I can make it okay, then I'll change. I'll never be so stupid as to get shit-faced again. I won't stick my dick in whatever hole a pretty girl's attached to again._

Angelus, the master of hiding his frailties, exposed his fear through use of a shaky hand. He wiped his brow in agitation and rasped, "Buffy," before trying again. Approaching her cautiously, he reached out and placed his hand on her arm gently. "Buffy, let's go somewhere else and talk."

"Have you lost your goddamned mind?!" she shrieked in disbelief as she threw his touch away. "Talk! Are you fucking insane? I just caught you getting a blow-job from that bitch! The bitch that you swore you were never seeing, that you were never—"

Buffy's pained screech cut off abruptly as her memories opened.

" _ **Would it hurt you, lover, if minutes before I came here, Dru had her mouth wrapped around my cock?"**_

"Oh, my God…" she whispered in soul-wrenching agony. In a movement too fast for Druscilla to see, Buffy's small hand immediately shot out and grabbed her by the neck. With hardly any effort, she had her lifted and slammed down to the ground.

"You weren't kidding." Buffy's eyes became glassy with bitter tears as the truth gutted her again. "You WEREN'T kidding!" The Slayer's hand tightened around the vampiress' neck. Her mind was oblivious to the claws scratching viciously across her skin and the terror flashing brightly behind yellow eyes.

Angelus saw Buffy slipping beneath frenzied rage. He knew she was only moments away from sending Druscilla into oblivion. While it might have been easier for him to just pry Buffy off his childe, he couldn't take the chance. Buffy was unpredictable and dangerous. The glee he once would have felt, knowing he was the cause of her darkness, failed to make an appearance.

"YOU WEREN'T KIDDING!"

Angelus had no problem following Buffy's seemingly erratic thoughts. So he did what any man would do—he lied.

"I was Buff," he babbled uncharacteristically. Angelus was not ever going to admit how long he had been unfaithful. If he could just pretend this was his first infraction, he was sure he could get Buffy to forgive him. She always forgave him. Her forgiveness would then include Druscilla. This time would be no different. It couldn't be.

When he stated, "I WAS just kidding," Angelus believed in his ridiculous falsehood. "I fucked up, Baby. I know I did. But this is the first time. I'll make it up to you. You know I will."

Before Buffy could eloquently scream out, "LIAR!" Druscilla made the dreadful mistake of speaking up.

"Daddy isn't being truthful, Slayer," she choked out pitifully.

Buffy's hand loosened slightly. Her hard hazel gaze pinned the yellow one beneath her, freezing the vampiress' halting movements. "What do you know?"

"He's been very naughty with me and with…" Her words trailed off dramatically before returning in a hiss. "Others."

"Others?" Although calm on the surface, Buffy's voice held traces of hysteria.

Angelus heard it clearly and sprang into useless action. In a panic, he roared, "She's fucking lying, lover! Shut-UP, Dru!"

Buffy removed her hand from Druscilla's neck, only to haul her up roughly to her feet. "What others?"

Angelus immediately grabbed his childe away from Buffy and backhanded her into the wall. She collapsed to the floor with a pitiful whimper. "SILENCE! You be quiet Dru or you WILL feel my whip against your flesh."

"But it's the truth," she mumbled as she drew her legs up.

Angelus stalked over to her and pulled the vampiress up by the hair. "Do you want me to rip your tongue from your mouth?" he growled not two inches from her frightened face. "Again?"

Druscilla shook her head quickly, even as she drew her shoulders up.

Familial loyalty and mercy evaporated beneath the fires of his ire. Angelus wanted to destroy Druscilla, tear her apart, and scatter her ashes to the wind. "Tell her the truth, you fucking bitch! You tell her how you've been lying. You tell her why you lied. You tell her now!"

Angelus could feel the world spin out of control. He was going to lose Buffy. He knew it. If he didn't fix this tonight, he was going to lose her. _That can't happen. It can't._ Driving his fist into Druscilla's side, he felt the flesh give way. The bones beneath cracked and her cries of helpless fear echoed his own. _I can't lose her. I can't lose her now. I need her._

Buffy watched the unfolding scene with a sense of the surreal. Seeing Angelus abuse someone weaker than himself, even if it was Druscilla, made her sick. Knowing that he had done much the same to her for months, made her sicker.

"Tell her now!"

"But it's a lie!"

 _SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!_

"You tell her now!"

Buffy knew what she should do. All logic and pride told her to let Angelus take his wrath on the frail vampiress. Why should she stop it? After all, Druscilla had just been giving her lover a blow-job!

Still…how could she let someone get battered in front of her? How could she just stand there and watch it? How would that make her any different than Angelus?

But why should she care?

The Slayer's face tightened with weary acceptance. Why should she care? Because Buffy Summers wasn't built any other way. She DID care and that was the end of it.

 _Goddamn…I'm such a chump._ Her feet began moving before her thoughts were finished warring between themselves. She couldn't let him hurt anyone, even Druscilla, in front of her. If Buffy had the power to stop it, she had to.

"Get off of her, Angelus! Let go of her now!"

The enraged vampire's eyes widened incredulously. Letting his errant childe drop to the ground, he turned to Buffy and asked, "Why?"

All the months of twisted affection, of humiliation, of suffering cleaned the surface of Buffy's mind. Suddenly she saw the vampire in front of her for who he really was.

Angelus was depraved, remorseless, and weak.

And so was she.

"You're so sick, Angelus!" she screamed while pushing him back. "You are so fucked up in the head! You beat the crap out of Druscilla over something YOU did!"

"Buff—"

"YOU cheated on me! YOU lied to me! YOU messed this up! Not HER, not THEM, YOU!" Each sentence was punctuated by a slap to the face. "YOU, ANGELUS!"

He wouldn't hit her back. He did nothing to stop her from pummeling his body. He limply accepted her punishment and it made Buffy crazy.

"Come on! Where's the domination, Angelus?" she sneered while throwing him against the unyielding concrete wall. "You're my master, aren't you? You're just gonna take it?" Buffy rose up on her toes until her face was as close to his as it could be. "I only had to look at you the wrong way before I found myself over your lap, getting my ass beat until it glowed."

Angelus' eyes, normally opaque and hooded with black glee, seemed to struggle between hiding and exposing what lay behind their immortal orbs.

"Fight back, you bastard!" Her curse was punctuated by a solid punch to his muscled stomach. Once more, he ignored Buffy's command and accepted her punishment. Except this time he finally spoke.

"There has been no them, Buffy. Only you." Angelus reached out to Buffy and watched as she backed away from him in disgust. "Lover, there's only been you! You have to believe me!"

Buffy had never heard Angelus plead for anything. She had never heard him beg. Yet, the voice coming from his voice was most definitely a plead for mercy.

"LIAR! LIAR! YOU GODDAMNED FREAK OF A LIAR!" Enormous amounts of pain consumed her, driving her mad from the reality in front of her. Angelus wasn't hers anymore. She wasn't the only one he could see. _He doesn't see me. I'm just another body. A bit of variety, but nothing more._

"I'm not lying!"

Buffy felt her legs collapse beneath her as she whispered, "Liar." She didn't get a chance to hit the ground because Angelus rushed to catch her. The need to struggle for freedom fell beneath the misery drowning her soul.

When it was too late, he showed her this face.

When their world was over, now he was exposing the frailty beneath his dead heart.

When this sickness was all that was left, he was taunting her with the promise of more.

Tucked within his arms, Buffy could feel her spirit crack. She could sense the darkness yawning beneath her feet and she needed something good, something pure to hold onto. If she didn't find it, she was gone. She would fall into the sickness inside.

"Lover…don't do this." Angelus was holding Buffy tightly while repeatedly kissing her cold cheek and unresponsive mouth. "Don't believe her. Believe me. I fucked up. I shouldn't have. I know it. It's just…you didn't answer your phone…and I was mad. I made a bad decision. I know. It won't happen again."

"A bad decision? That's what you call it?" Buffy's eyes slid to the shaken vampiress a few feet away. Druscilla was apparently locked in her own world. She rocked back and forth, back and forth, oblivious to Angelus and herself, yet all the more aware. Buffy closed her eyes. _I'm looking at myself. I'm looking at who I'll be the longer I stay with this monster._

"Buff! Buff! Look at me. Look at me!"

Buffy opened her eyes and saw Angelus. His beautiful face blurred briefly before coming in focus. "I see you," she answered with pain. _I see who you really are._

A shaky smile parted his bloodless lips. "It's going to be alright, do you understand? Look." He lifted up her ringed hand with his. "You see these rings? This means you belong to me, Buff."

Her silence continued.

Angelus cried, "You belong to me! Say it, Buffy. C'mon. Just say it. Say it and make things right."

Beneath her eyes, his handsome face looked as ugly as her weakness. Buffy turned away from him and murmured, "You raped me, Angelus. You raped me in front of all those demons and I forgave you." Her words were heavy, loud, and lingering in the small room. "Do you know why?"

The vampire shook his head and swallowed back another jerk of nausea. "No. Why?"

"Because I thought it was my fault. I thought it was because I couldn't be honest with you, because I couldn't share my feelings. I felt that I drove you to it." Her voice trailed off in a lamentation of sorrow before returning again. "Just as I drove Angel to it, just as I made him do something he didn't want to do, I thought I drove you to it. You kept trying to make me admit what I felt and I wouldn't. You kept trying to get me to say something, ANYTHING, and I just wouldn't."

"It doesn't matter anymore. We moved past that a long time ago." Even as he spoke the words, Angelus felt as if he had been staked in the gut. The pain was raw, intense, and festering with unspoken apologies and madness. Now more than ever, he wished he could take back the actions caused by his brash arrogance.

He could have easily seduced her in front of the Gathering. It could have had the same effect. But he hadn't because he thought it would've been weak. He had needed to prove to the world, including the would-be suitor Paul, that Buffy was HIS.

Instead, he had showed them his darling girl. He had let them see Buffy at her weakest. He had disgraced her in front of them. Then and now.

"No, we didn't. You did, but I didn't."

"Lover…" Angelus' voice cut out. What could he possibly say? His control, his power over everything, including this tiny girl, was gone. He was a shell of a man and Angelus knew it. Faced with the end, he knew it.

"I was so scared, so angry, so helpless on that table. All those eyes watching me, watching what you were doing to me. It made me so worthless." Buffy sat up and felt his arms trying pull her back. With barely leashed violence she shoved away, leaving him in an ignoble sprawl. "I thought it was all my fault. But I forgave you anyway. And I fell in love with you. Stupid me."

Buffy's glittering eyes met his. In other circumstances she might have been shocked at the misery in his gaze, but not this time. Buffy couldn't feel anything but numb defeat right now. She had wanted to come in this room and the beat the life out of Angelus and Druscilla. She had wanted to walk out of here the victor.

But where was the victory in this? She loved Angelus. Right or wrong she loved him. She loved him and could never be with him again. No matter what she had done for him, she could never share him with anyone else. She couldn't break that final vow. No matter all the other promises she had made to herself throughout the months—that was the one promise she could not break.

And so, they were dead.

Buffy and Angelus were done. Staking him would only make permanent what was already so.

Killing Druscilla wouldn't make her feel better either. She was looking at a specter from the future and how could you kill the messenger? How could you drive a stake in the messenger's chest for telling the truth?

Maybe somebody else could, but not her.

Buffy knew as long as she continued to allow Angelus to dominate her, rule her every thought, her every emotion, she would soon be as broken as the doll in the corner there. If she killed Druscilla, she would walk a little closer to the line separating herself from THEM.

So nothing would ever be right. She would never have vengeance. She would never have her pride.

The darkness suddenly came for Buffy, wrapping its slithering arms of hate around her.

 **So what? At the very least, Angelus deserves to die. Doesn't he? Look at him, sitting there, all smug in his victory over you. You just caught him betraying you and he still sits there with his life. What kind of Slayer are you? Let Druscilla go, if you want. But Angelus…he deserves to die.**

"Buff, let's just go. Anywhere you want. Let's just go."

 **He took Angel away from you and then breaks your heart every chance he gets. He raped you twice.**

"What's with the stake, Buff? Wait a minute! Buffy!"

 **Once then, and now. All those eyes peering at your naked body are now ears—hearing every dirty word between you.**

"Stop looking at me like that!"

 **They're laughing at you, calling you weak and stupid. They think you deserve to be abused. After all, if you won't stand up for yourself, why should anyone give you respect?**

"For fuck's sake, Buffy! I don't want to hurt you, so put the damned stake down now!"

 **Get a backbone! For once in your life, don't do things because it's right. Do it because it FEELS right. C'mon! Just do it!**

"STOP IT!"

Buffy felt the blows on her body, but that wasn't what made her finally respond. It was the flesh giving way beneath her stake that jerked her back. She looked down and saw Angelus sprawled beneath her. The wound on his pale chest closed before her gaze, but not before imparting its significance.

Her eyes dilated in shock. She scrambled off him and the metal _clang_ pealed in her ears. Buffy had been moments away from staking Angelus with a stake he had once given her. _Oh, my God!_ The wall behind her back couldn't have been any colder than the ice settling inside her gut.

Buffy hadn't been silent during the last minute.

" _ **Buff, let's just go. Anywhere you want. Let's just go."  
"Anywhere I want? How about anywhere I want YOU to go?"  
"What's with the stake, Buff? Wait a minute! Buffy!"  
"Oh, I've been waiting too long, Angelus. It's time."  
"Stop looking at me like that!"  
"Like how, lover? I SEE you, Angelus. Do you understand? I SEE YOU."  
"For fuck's sake, Buffy! I don't want to hurt you, so put the damned stake down now!"  
"Hurt me? You can't hurt me anymore, Angelus."  
"STOP IT!"  
"NO!"**_

The reality of nearly losing Angelus made her vision spin madly. The blood rushed to Buffy's head with sickening speed. _What's wrong with me? How can I slip into this insanity every time something like this happens?_

Her shaken gaze met Druscilla's. Once more, she saw herself. The vampiress' clear, crystal stare reflected pity and worse. Understanding.

Without another word, Buffy stalked out of the room. The hallway disappeared and so did the watchful inhabitants of the club. She needed help and there was only one person she could go to.

Father Marion.

 **UPDATED JANUARY 18, 2005**

Angelus heard Buffy walk out and the silence following her departure was filled with nothing. Absolutely nothing. It reminded the vampire of how it was before he had crawled out of his grave centuries before. Terror and rage had come later, but in the moments before realization furled in his conscious mind, he had felt nothing.

 _There's nothing left. Absolutely nothing._ Suddenly, the seductive lyrics of a song drifted to him from the club's darkness.

 _Imagine you as me and I'll tell you Just what was on my mind that night_

What the hell had been in his mind tonight? Why tonight? Why did everything fall apart on THIS night?

Angelus wished he could explain the unforgivable. He wished he could take back every demented thing he had ever done to her. With Buffy gone, he finally realized what he had. Before this moment he had suspected, but now he knew. _I woke up one day…realized the world was dead…and it was all in my head._

Staring at the grey ceiling, he wondered if this was what living death felt like. The ability to feel anything was gone. Emotionless logic replaced all sentimentality, leaving Angelus as a shell of the bastard he was an hour ago.

 _It's over. She hates me. She fucking hates my guts. She tried to kill me. Buffy almost left me as dust._

Abruptly, the nothingness grew. It transformed quickly from shock and emptiness into something malignant.

As he lay there on the floor, Angelus could feel it suck out every bit of joy, every bit of life, every bit of who he had been for the past three months.

It was over.

Three words had never caused more damage than those. It was over.

Buffy would never consent to being his again. How did it go so wrong? She was supposed to be his slave, his possession. So why was he the one feeling abandoned? Why was he the one feeling that his existence meant nothing?

The vampire felt something wet touch his face. Looking up blankly, he saw Druscilla leaning over him. Angelus watched in empty fascination as the crimson trails snaked down her thin face to fall onto his.

"Why are you crying, Dru?" His voice was low, devoid of curiosity or even anger.

"Because you can't." Her haunting answer held no trace of madness. Her pale lips parted in a tremulous smile, one that was half grievous and half pitying. Crouched before her sire, Druscilla forgave his previous cruelty with one touch. "Because you CAN'T," she repeated while cupping his cheek.

Angelus felt his shell crack and a torrent of feeling attacked him.

Without thought, he buried his face against her lap and wrapped his arms around her waist. Misery flayed him alive, reminding Angelus that he was a creature beyond pity, beyond redemption. He deserved the scorn of all women. He deserved to be punished, to be beaten, to be tortured, to be locked away, and loathed by all those he had ever touched.

"Why? Why don't you hate me?" he whispered in an agonized voice. "I hurt you. I always hurt you. I shouldn't…but I do. You should hate me, Dru."

Druscilla's face crumpled. This would be the last time she ever spent company in his presence, as he was. This would be their goodbye. She knew it, just like she did a century before. Only this time instead of punishing her, Angelus was seeking comfort from her, even if he didn't know it.

"I don't. Not really."

"Tonight…why did you tell?" Angelus' tone wasn't accusing or angry. "Why did you tell her?"

The fragile female bit her lip, unsure of how to answer something she barely understood. "Because I hated her. I hated her and wanted to hurt her. But then I saw her soul and knew she was dying inside. She was dying for you and I couldn't let it happen."

Angelus remained silent, processing her wispy words, before rasping, "You DO hate me."

The tears continued to rain down in a crimson gale, anointing her skin and his.

"I should hate you, but I can't. Your pain here," she pressed against Angelus' chest in emphasis, "is as great as mine."

"No," he hissed through clenched teeth.

"Yes!" she retorted sharply, her voice barely above a breathy whisper. "It hurts more than you can bear it. I know because I feel it. But where I hide behind madness, you hide behind cruelty."

"Not true…"

Druscilla rested her arms across his back and her face against his hair. "What you did to my family is unforgivable."

"Not asking…"

"Yes, you were. You asked it when you brought that black priestess to me. You asked it when you commanded her to ensoul every single offending member of that village in my dolls. You asked it when you ensured I would control them like they controlled me. You asked it when you gave me my mother…Miss Edith." Druscilla's whispers became even softer. "You asked it when you gave me Spike.

"I didn't make him," Angelus groused sourly. "You did."

"You let me make him. And later, even though you hated him and could've staked him at anytime, you didn't. You didn't because you know how much I love him. And I do love him. I love him more than I love anything else in this world. More than the hunt, more than the kill, more than the sun."

"Waste of your love…"

Druscilla laughed brightly, careful to keep her voice down. "The same could be said of you, Sire."

Angelus remained buried in her lap, silent and noncommittal. After several moments, he growled, "Don't."

"To love is not the end of the world, Angelus. Love is strength, not weakness."

"Stop."

"Loving the Slayer does not make you less fearsome a ruler. If anything, it's made you more—"

Angelus reared up, throwing her sympathetic touch aside. "It is not the same for me and you know it!" he hissed in her ear, careful to keep others from hearing his thoughts. "I cannot trust…I cannot chance it!"

Druscilla met his fiery gaze. Calmly, she slipped her hand into his shirt. Immediately her face presented signs of tremendous pain.

Realizing what she was doing, Angelus gritted out, "Dru, stop—"

"No," she choked out. "You can wear…this…because of her. You can do what…the rest of the…clan…can't because of…HER." Druscilla watched as Angelus enfolded her burnt hand in his. The proof of his affection, of who he really was lay in that unconscious action.

"How did you know?"

The smile she graced him was one filled with weariness. "How do I know the multitude of things I do? I just do." Angelus accepted her explanation, knowing its origins belonged to the gift she had been cursed with. "You would never have been graced if you were unworthy."

"Worthy? I'm a demon, Dru. So are you! We take pleasure in what we are. We're monsters!"

"The greatest monsters in this world were saints once. The greatest saints were once monsters."

"I didn't do it for grace," he whispered hotly. "I did it for power."

"But you did it," she replied in his ear. "The Master spent centuries, training his body to take the cross, but it never fully worked. You did it in months. Why?"

Angelus stayed his mouth, not even sure how he could answer her question. Finally he answered, "Doesn't matter. I'm losing everything because of Buffy. Even now the jackals are waiting for me out there." His voice turned into self-loathing. "They heard everything. They heard my weakness. They heard me puking for her forgiveness. They heard her kicking my ass."

"They also heard her leave you with your heart intact. They know she did it because she loves you. That alone makes you greater than them." Several moment of uncomfortable silence passed. Druscilla pressed her lips against his cold cheek and stated, "I would've loved you best if you had only been capable of returning it. But you could never love me because of the guilt."

Angelus' head shot up. His eyes widened with shock and discomfort. "I don't love…"

The vampiress brought up her healthy hand and laid her fingertips against his mouth. "Don't let the same happen again. Don't lose everything tonight. Don't lose the Slayer because of guilt and pride."

Angelus stared into her open gaze, searching for the answer to his life. "Dru…"

"She loves you best. She loves you, even though you dirty her body." Druscilla flitted her hand over his smooth check. "She loves you best even if she's going to die tonight because of it."

The entire world disintegrated into ashes. Angelus' eyes ran to emerald and gold. "What?!" A buried memory shoved aside the confusion and sickness overwhelming his mind. The dark vampire remembered the night when Buffy had been inconsolable, weeping without end even as he took her body.

" _ **Eventually it's going to end."  
"Why?"  
"Because I'm going to die. Slayers don't last long and my time will be coming."'**_

Angelus buried his growl and whispered, "Die? NO!"

"Yes."

His hands snaked out and gripped her slender arms. "What do you know, Dru? Tell me now!"

The weight of years settled into the ethereal lines of her face, briefly replacing eternal youth with utter weariness. The Fates aligned against her, using Druscilla like they always had. Obligingly, she opened her mouth and intoned dutifully:

 _Drift across the liquidness of time  
Find the one unlike power but like  
Touch the creature and find life or  
everlasting banishment  
Keep it clean_

 _The newness of faith will hold all  
lies and truth  
all the same_

 _Search for the flaming creature belonging to the orb  
Find the land of darkness  
Near and far_

 _The creature hides from the cold light  
The creature is free_

 _The creature melds with this faraway place  
The creature is enslaved_

Angelus' reason couldn't keep up with the words pouring from his childe's mouth. Even so, he realized the verses she uttered lay its roots in prophesy. Each line meant nothing on its own, but as a whole they painted a tableau of destruction. _How could this happen? Did Buffy know?_ So many instances, so many little things now made sense. The hints were there, dropped by Buffy herself all the way to the beginning.

" _ **Take a number and get in line, Angel. I'm sorry to say that this time you don't have first dibs on me. Oh, by the way, there's going to be a new sheriff in town so I suggest you leave. She won't be as nice as I've been."**_

A series of events came and visited his mind, reproaching him for being so blind, so arrogantly stupid to not realize the burden Buffy had carried. _Why the fuck didn't she tell me?_ he thought in supreme, helpless rage. _How could I have not known?! I rule this town! I should've known!_

Druscilla's fey voice reached the yawning cavern in his mind, yanking him back to the present.

"Do you understand, my love?"

He blinked slowly. The cold concrete floor was finally affecting his limbs. However, discomfort fell to the wayside as he began putting the pieces together. The urge to bolt was a poison paralyzing his reason, but instinct kept Angelus still. If he was going to control this event, he had to understand it.

"Unlike power but like—a girl. Buffy."

She nodded her head and waited for him to continue.

"Touch the creature and find life or everlasting banishment…Keep it clean." Angelus' brows knitted in concentration. "Touch the creature. Touch Buffy sexually and find life—that's me. Everlasting banishment—that's Angel. Right?"

Druscilla dropped her eyes in apology.

"You don't know," he stated unnecessarily. "But keep it clean? What the hell does that mean?" His mouth drooped in confusion. "Keep her virginal? Is that it? If that's so, it's too late. Shit! I don't know and neither do you." His eyes pierced hers with fervor. "What were those lines about the new faith?"

"The newness of faith will hold all/lies and truth/all the same."

"Newness of faith. Christianity holds all. Lies and truth…lies and truth…" Angelus turned to his silent childe and asked, "Do you understand what this means, Dru?"

Her crystalline gaze met his. "Someone close to the Slayer, someone Christian, has been lying to her, but not."

"What the hell? That doesn't make sense, Dru! Can you please try to be less cryptic and more straightforward?"

"Someone Christian has been telling her the truth, but in a lie."

Angelus nearly spit out a string of profanities when the message of her words broke through his fog. _Shit!_ His eyes held the fires of hell in them, forcing Druscilla to automatically back away. Relentless, Angelus approached her and whispered blackly, "When tonight?"

Her expression gave the answer away. "Now."

Angelus screwed his eyes shut. A veil of nothingness possessed his mind and despair opened up in the space where his cold heart lay. Prophecies never lied. They could be averted possibly on technicality, but they never lied.

 _She's gone. She's going to die. She's probably dead._

The darkness bled away to something else. Something more frightening, more demented, more crazed.

 _I'm not going to let her die. I'm not going to fail._

His arrogance was always his downfall. This time it would be his saving grace.

Arrogance took over everything—all the pain, fear, and misery. They all disappeared in a vacuum where his will was stronger. Buffy was not going to die. He wasn't going to just let her walk to her death like Angel had. Not this time.

Angelus rose to his feet. "Thank you, Druscilla," he stated softly. The kindness in his voice was in direct odds to the ruthlessness carved in his face. "Of all that I ever turned, you were the best."

The slender vampiress walked to his side. Reaching up for his face, she waited until he leaned closer. Gently her lips touched his for a moment. "Goodbye, my angel."

His gaze held hers and saw finality. In a flash of stark awareness, Angelus wondered if he was ever going to come back tonight. Chasing that moment of thought, he realized he didn't care. Without another word, he turned away and quickly left the room. The malicious and mocking stares touching Angelus meant nothing to him. Only one thing mattered now.

One thing.

The only thing.

"Jesus! Where's Buffy?" Cordelia complained loudly. "Shouldn't she be here by now?"

Willow, Oz, Xander, Giles and Jenny were planted around the library, hands busy with last minute party preparations. Xander spared his seated girlfriend a glance and answered, "No, Cordy."

"Why not?"

"Because, Cordelia." Willow broke in dryly. "Xander told Buffy the party would be at the Bronze."

"Why would he do a dumb-ass thing like that?"

Giles looked over his shoulder meaningfully. The brunette cheerleader caught his disapproving stare and muttered, "Sorry." Apologies finished, she continued on her irritable rampage. "Xander, why did you tell her that?"

Plopping down several empty balloon bags on the table, he pulled out a chair. "Gee, honey," he murmured sarcastically while seating himself. "Thanks for helping me blow all thirty-six of those suckers."

"Hey, don't complain to me. You should've rented a helium tank instead."

"Budget didn't allow for it." Oz's five-word sentence or less was at work again.

Shrugging her shoulders, Cordelia's attitude explicitly implied, "Not my problem, losers." Oz shrugged his shoulders in return and continued with the snack table.

Not finding another object for her ire, Cordelia turned her attention back to her boyfriend. Narrowing her eyes, she hissed, "Xander Harris. If I have to ask one more time…"

The dark-haired youth recognized the line he was approaching by his girlfriend's tone. Immediately he replied, "Because we didn't want Buffy to spoil the prep."

Cordelia's mouth twitched once. "So how is she going to get here for her party if she's stuck at the Bronze?"

"You two are gonna get her." Willow's angelic smile held a hint of malicious darkness. She continued to wrap the long box containing Buffy's specially engraved stake, making sure to get the corners nice and tight.

"I'm gonna what?" Cordelia's arms automatically crossed each other over her impressive chest in typical annoyed fashion. "You gotta be kidding me. I'm supposed go pick her up?"

"We, Cordy. We."

Her frosty glare speared Xander on the spot. Turning away from her chastened boyfriend, she asked in a saccharine tone, "And you guys planned on telling me when?"

Giles and Jenny wisely kept out of the discussion. They continued to hang streamers across the library. However, one hand was on the black crepe paper while one ear was on the eminent adolescent explosion.

"Now seemed good." Willow met Cordelia's enraged gaze. Her hand shot out and plucked a chip from Oz's bag as he walked by. Munching on it, she waited for her opponent to serve another blistering volley.

Cordelia's cheeks turned red and her mouth opened once before closing. She dropped her head slightly, finding the library counter as good a place as any to focus her stare. "And here I thought we were friends."

"Friends?" Willow's reply froze in her throat. Xander's angry glare and warning head shake silenced her immediately.

Xander slid his chair over. His arms came out cautiously, not sure if Cordelia would appreciate the gesture or if she'd turn and hiss at him instead. When she remained still, he took it as a sign to continue with the nurturing approach. "Cordy, honey? Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be okay? I'm just someone who's good for a ride."

All occupants in the room stopped in mid-task.

Hearing how her words could be taken, Cordelia clarified in angry embarrassment, "I mean I'm just someone who has a set of keys and seats." Paranoid now, she growled, "I mean—"

"We know." Xander stopped her from further verbal mix-ups.

Contrite over Cordelia's hurt feelings, Willow said in a rush, "I went too over the top. Sometimes I don't know my own badness. I should be stopped. I'm sorry, Cordy."

"I can get Buffy," Oz offered quietly.

Xander stroked her hair in a comforting gesture. "I think that's best. Thanks, Oz."

"No prob."

"No…I'll do it." Cordelia sat up and grumbled, "It is my contribution to this little secret society. You know—being speedy and reliable."

"Are you sure, Cordy?"

"Yeah, Xander. I'm sure." She stood up and glanced at her delicate watch. "She should be there by now, right?"

"What time is it?"

"After eight."

Xander shot up out his chair and nearly toppled it over. "Oh, man! We're late!"

"Oh, jeez. I just got finished saying how I'm speedy and reliable. Now you're telling me we're late?"

"I know, honey. Sorry." He snatched her hand. "We gotta go."

Cordelia allowed her Xander to pull her along for a few moments. "Wait!" Looking at Willow over her shoulder, she asked, "Doesn't Buffy have a cell phone?"

The redhead frowned slightly in thought. "I think so."

Jenny remembered the phone ringing earlier in the afternoon. "She does."

"So let's call her up and make sure she's at the Bronze."

Willow shared slowly, her brow really furrowing, "I don't have her number."

"What? Really?" Cordelia's finely waxed eyebrow rose an inch. "What about you Giles?"

Laying the streamer roll down, the Watcher shook his head. "I wasn't even aware that Buffy had a cellular phone."

"Oz? Ms. Calendar? Xander—although that better be a no. No one?"

"I actually have the Slayer's number, but I don't think now is the time to interrupt destiny."

The entire room froze as the coldly handsome Englishman walked further into the library. Following him were a small detachment of black-clad soldiers. The men and women quickly positioned themselves around the academic center.

"Black decor. Balloons, streams, even plates. Very fitting. Very…wake-like. I approve." A small smile curved his thin mouth, lighting the gray eyes with something akin to amusement. "Come now. You were all so talkative before." He paused delicately as he glanced at each silent face. "At least the brown-haired Colonial one was." The man's beige overcoat flared slightly as he turned to Cordelia. "Cat got your tongue, Miss?"

His mocking question broke the spell holding them all in place. A cacophony of voices swelled at once.

"Who the hell is this and how does he know Buffy?"

"Who are you? And for your information, I am NOT a Colonial—you Brit. No offense, Giles."

"Asheburne. The council never notified me of your impending visit."

"You know him, Rupert?"

"Okay, definitely not good here. Oz? Oz? What's wrong?" Willow's terrified voice drew all concerned eyes towards the dating pair. Oz's chest heaved violently while his eyes wildly scanned the room. His hands tugged at his shirt, tightening as if ready to tear it clean off his body.

Asheburne's urbane voice cut through the confusion holding the group. "What's wrong with him could be something known as guilt." His mouth turned up slightly as he added, "Or perhaps it could do with this."

His lofty gesture drew the group minus one's attention to a black-clad individual holding a small charm. The solid silver disk pierced with a silver line was of simple form but apparently effective.

All remained mute. The three teens drew closer to their wounded friend, their eyes glittering with unspoken fear. Jenny stood by her love, ready to aid him in any way. The Englishman brought himself to the front, instinctively taking the position of leader.

None of their actions, or the reasons, escaped the attention of the intruding visitors.

Giles risked a glance back and saw Oz's body collapse to the ground. His face tightened with impotent horror. He swung towards the other Watcher member and cried, "What is the purpose in this, Asheburne? Release the boy immediately!"

Asheburne's steely eyes narrowed in unspoken scorn. "The purpose is you don't know this genetic failure as well as you think you do." He signaled with one arm while murmuring, "And your ignorance doesn't just end there."

 _Stop playing with them and just get to the point._ Cynthia's face did not betray her impatience as her feet automatically obeyed her mentor's command. She knew what to do, had known it from the moment she stepped foot in Sunnydale.

 _Good. Let's just get this over with._

Feeling the room's eyes on her, she swung a small briefcase onto a nearby table. Her gaze commanded two members of her attachment to set up video. Their efficient movements lasted less than a minute. Two small screens sat on the table, ready to betray their terrible knowledge.

Xander recognized her first. "Cynthia?"

Willow looked up from her crouched position. Holding Oz's head and shoulders within her strong arms, she whispered, "But you're in 3rd period…"

Cynthia ignored their questions and stares. Realization would come to them quickly enough. Withdrawing a syringe from the briefcase, she flicked it several times. She turned towards Oz and walked towards him with purpose.

Just as she reached the werewolf, Giles planted himself directly in front. "You WILL remove yourself from here, young lady." His vicious snarl drove a chill up his allies' spines, but not Cynthia's.

Respect flickered in her coal eyes. "If you want me to help him, Giles," she shared softly, "you will step aside."

"No."

"I will move you myself, Rupert Giles." Her voice deepened to one of complete authority. "Step aside now or risk adding more charges of misconduct to your record."

"Try me," he hissed while assuming a defensive stance.

Asheburne neatly stepped between them, eliminating the contest of wills. "Now, now. There's no need for violence. Although, Giles, I'm tempted to let Cynthia bring you down a notch."

The insulted Watcher narrowed his icy gaze. "I doubt she'd be able to."

A small bark of contemptuous laughter peppered the charged air. "You think your Slayer is the only one who can break men?" While not touching Cynthia, his possessive stance made it clear who he favored. "Strip away Buffy's powers and she's nothing. Whereas this one…well, only a fool would think to go against her." Asheburne's smirk indicated exactly what he thought of the Watcher.

"Shut your word-hole!" Xander yelled as he stood up.

"Xander!" Giles snapped in return.

"No, forget this! Who does this guy think he is? Trashing Buffy's name like that!" Directing his ire against the unknown Englishman, Xander pointed out derisively, "She's put her life on the line for every person in this room time and time again. You have no business talking crap on her!"

Cynthia stood, seemingly unmoved, but inside she wondered at the strength of loyalty Buffy inspired. If things had gone differently, would these same people say the same of her? A silent sigh passed inside of her. Probably not. She would not have even let them know who she was.

Initially, she had criticized Buffy's decision to allow her secret to come to light. In theory it still made sense. Never let anyone know who you are. Blend in the shadows. Stay out of the light. The public's safety depends on your anonymity.

But Slayers generally never stayed alive longer than three years at most. Maybe the lack of people backing you was the reason why.

Cynthia snarled silently in disgust. It didn't matter. She wasn't here to reform Slayer benefits. She was here to break the old regime.

 _Madre de Dios. When they find out what's on this disc…when they SEE what's on this disc…_ It would destroy their loyalty and love for Buffy. Just as it was meant to do. Once more, she wondered at the course of tonight's actions. Once more, she doubted the wisdom of destroying one life just for ambition. Just for control.

She filtered in Asheburne's arrogant command. "Get this aggressive child in line, Rupert, before he causes even more damage to this unpleasant situation."

"Child? Hey, screw you, buddy!"

Giles' hand slashed out. "Xander!" Waiting until he had the incensed boy's attention, he said, "I understand your anger, but please control yourself!" Without waiting for the younger man's answer, he turned back to Asheburne. In a voice of aristocratic calm, Giles demanded, "Exactly why are you in my library?"

Steel gray eyes narrowed thoughtfully. A smile hovered about the corner of his lips and it was apparent to all he was enjoying his position immensely. "Very well, Rupert. Let us dispense with all the trivialities. Cynthia." Waiting until she joined his side, he gestured to the silver syringe in her small, capable hand. "She is going to inject yon werewolf with a cocktail of genetic structures. The exact ingredients will no doubt bore you, so suffice it to say, once the injection takes effect, he will no longer be of the lupus variety."

Silent during the entire exchange, Cordelia finally spoke up. "That can't be true. He's a werewolf. Even the Council can't change that."

Asheburne heaved a small sigh. "Why is it people who know very little of what they say speak the loudest?" Not expecting an answer, he continued in a hard voice. "The Council can very well change it because we're the ones who made him this way. Temporarily mind you, but the results are the same. We made him, we can un-make him."

Giles inhaled sharply. "Genetic tampering. That practice was outlawed three centuries ago."

"No, it wasn't." The smile lighting his thin, handsome face never reached his eyes. "That's all you need know. Now, are you going to spare this young man further pain or are you going to continue to waste time?"

The need to rub his temples was great, but Giles ignored the growing discomfort. Looking about the room, he saw the various bodies. The soldiers were ready and willing to use lethal force. He had to think quickly on his feet, but the right answers were eluding him. He had no idea what Asheburne wanted and it angered him. How could fight this crafty opponent with intelligence, if he was missing the intel?

His gaze flitted to the door. Was Buffy on her way now? If she arrived in the midst of this, what would she do?

"She's not coming, Giles."

The soft pitying tones grated against his ears. However, he turned his attention to the smaller girl and listened. "How could you possibly know?" Giles felt cold fear gnaw hungrily at his thin control.

"We'll explain everything, I promise. But right now I need to inject Oz. Your friends are already frightened by our presence. Your position is not helping their fear. I understand you're angry. But I know you care more about Oz, Willow, Xander, Cordelia, and Jenny than your pride."

Seeing his protest, Cynthia quickly broke in. "Remember your training, Giles. The Council is exerting its authority here and you have to obey its will. So please, don't force violence in this situation. You know what we're capable of. Keep your wards back and let me do my job. Oz needs this injection or the charm will systematically destroy every trace of the mutated lupus strain. Either way, he will not continue as a werewolf. How he leaves here is up to you."

Beneath the gentle words, Giles recognized the real threat. Shaking with bottled rage, he stepped aside. "Don't try to stop her," he gritted out to the others.

Cynthia approached the pain-ridden boy and felt sympathy for his plight. It hadn't been fair to use him like this. There had been no real reason to test this failed strain on anyone. However, once Oz had been inducted into the Slayer's circle, the Council had felt justified in their gamble. They had been hoping he would be drawn to the motley group because of his sense of supernatural isolation. They were right.

But they weren't satisfied.

Unknown to him or anyone else in Sunnydale, Oz's particular strain held an enormous mental beacon that he couldn't control. His thoughts and feelings were on broadcast twenty-four hours a day. Not satisfied with video and audio surveillance, the Council had a team of telepaths listening to everything he felt and experienced.

Asheburne had wanted to see how long it would take Oz to discover Buffy's secret. From there, he had wanted to study his lupine nature in reaction to it. Her mentor had been hoping Oz would seek to destroy Buffy, his hatred for vampires and their consorts consuming his conscious mind until bloodlust destroyed predator and prey.

But he was wrong.

Oz's humanity had allowed him to keep silent out of respect for Buffy. Now hopefully he would be free.

Feeling the group's suspicious and accusing glares, Cynthia gingerly took his left arm. She could feel Willow's fear battering her, but she ignored it. There was nothing she could do to alleviate their feelings. Better they accept her will and be done with it.

Yet, out of respect for what they were going through, Cynthia made sure she was exceedingly careful with their fallen friend. It wouldn't help much, but if she was rough with Oz, treating him as no more than a lab animal, his friends would suffer more.

 _I'm always soft when it comes to times like this,_ she criticized herself in mild disgust.

Oz's skin felt cold and clammy, but the vein was easy to find. With a quick jab, she depressed the liquid into his body. Cynthia looked at each pale and frightened face and explained patiently, "He's going to go into convulsions in a minute. Xander, I'm going to need you to trade places with Willow right now. Hold Oz down or he'll hurt himself. Willow, Cordelia, I'm going to need you to hold down his legs."

Waiting until they reluctantly obeyed her, Cynthia continued. "This process is going to hurt Oz. A lot. But it'll last for only four minutes. Once he stops seizing, sit him up, Xander. From there, it'll be over." Turning to the silent Gypsy, she handed her a small pill. "Jenny, give this to him as soon as they sit him up. All the adrenaline going through his body is going to leave him drained. This will help balance the electrolytes in his system."

"Will he be able to swallow it?" Jenny's voice was tight with the effort of holding onto her emotions. "Or will he choke?"

"It will dissolve once it hits saliva. But Oz will be weak and thirsty so make sure you also give him plenty of water." She pointed at another table and the group saw a case of bottled water. Glancing at her watch, she murmured, "You have twenty-three seconds left. Get ready."

Standing up, she walked back to the briefcase and slipped the syringe back to its foam bed. Behind her, she heard the first sound of agony slip from Oz's throat.

Even after all these years, Cynthia had never developed the ability of immunity to other's pain. She hated hearing the screams of suffering. Even in the creatures she disposed of in the name of goodness. Therefore, it was no surprise she had learned to execute opponents in the quickest way possible.

But now, she had no choice but to listen to every gargle, every whimper, every scream.

Unbidden, images of her ugly past rose up to haunt her. Acidic drippings of rage splattered across her mind and made her recoil silently. Desperately, Cynthia focused her energy on Simon's peace before skittering away. She had betrayed him. He would never welcome her to his serenity again.

 _Is it all going to be worth it?_

It was a question she had asked herself time and time again throughout the years. It was one she knew she'd never receive the answer to. At least, not until she was dead. So Cynthia forced herself to turn around and watch Oz's struggle. It was the least she deserved for taking a hand in this.

His friends fought to keep him down, but they were being pushed to the limit. Jenny attempted to help Willow with one hand, but her focus was torn between helping and keeping the pill from tumbling on the floor.

Giles let loose a loud stream of curses. He was poised between helping those behind him and throttling the Watcher before him. "The Council will be hearing of this, Asheburne," he snarled while flexing his hands.

Instead of being threatened, the other man replied, "Don't you think your limited time is better spent helping?"

Giles whipped away, clearly leaving their fight for later. Dropping to the ground, he held down both rigid legs. The minutes wore on as Oz's body lost its stiffness. His screams grew louder and louder until the strength of his tortured cries filled every corner of Sunnydale High.

Beyond the close circle of suffering, the observers stood unmoved. Not even Asheburne betrayed pleasure or pity for the boy's suffering.

Finally, Oz's back arched once and then collapsed abruptly.

Xander's cheeks were wet with tears and his sobs echoed those around him. But his arms were strong as he sat his exhausted friend up. Jenny carefully opened Oz's slack mouth and slipped in the pill. Without a word, Cordelia jumped up and rushed for the water. Carrying several bottles in her arms, she immediately came back to the group.

"Willow. Help me." Although the brunette's voice was shaky, it held authority that was impossible for the other girl to ignore.

Willow tearfully pulled away from her now-human boyfriend and accepted the bottle. Both made short work of opening the lids. Tensely, they all waited.

Oz gurgled once. Another minute rolled by. Finally, he whispered, "Water."

Serving his need, the group hovered close, afraid to leave him. After three bottles were drained, Asheburne announced, "It's time for the final demonstration. To the table, children. Now."

Jenny contradicted the cold order with, "He's tired. We can't possibly move him—"

"You can and you will."

Trying to lessen the purposeful brusqueness of Asheburne's tone, Cynthia stated in a kind voice, "Time is something we no longer have the luxury of at this moment. Please, do as you're asked."

"Don't you mean ordered?" Willow answered bitterly.

Asheburne raised his elegant brows. "Don't take your bitterness out on the messenger, dear child," he admonished. "If there is anyone who is to blame for this nasty turn of events, it's the Slayer."

Giles stood up. Facing the invading group, he stated angrily, "I'm sick of your enigmatic insults! Buffy has done nothing to earn the disrespect of the Council! Considering her lack of initial training, she's served her duty well. She's never failed me or the Council." Despite his incensed speech, inside, Giles suffered a moment of disquiet. The Council smelled blood. There was no other reason why they would send this particular creature.

Something was wrong and Buffy was at the center of it. Remembering what tonight signified, Giles trembled. _No. It's no more than coincidence._

Cynthia watched as the Watcher's face became pasty. Her gaze slid to Asheburne's self-satisfied smirk. _Cat and mouse. Cat and mouse. You love playing with the mouse, don't you, Mr. Cat?_ Cynthia waited for the destruction to begin. When it came, it arrived as a softly spoken question.

"Do you know how long your Slayer has been a Master Vampire's whore?"

The air left Giles. "Whore?"

"Yes. Whore. Angelus' whore to be exact."

The Watcher's face crumpled in shock and misery. "That's not true!" he gritted out.

"Oh, it most definitely is true." Gray orbs shifted to the pale-faced boy on the ground. "Isn't it, Oz?"

Oz's cerulean gaze narrowed as rage overtook his tortured body.

Willow shook her head and whispered, "Stop it. Please, just stop." Whether she was imploring the Watcher or her love remained unknown.

Xander, Cordelia, and Jenny lowered their heads, unsure of what to say. The trauma of Oz's transformation, the realization that their lives could be so easily manipulated, the truth that happiness could be taken in a moment, left them cold and numb. However, the ugly word hung in their fractured minds.

Whore.

"Come now!" The object of their suffering clapped his hands. "To the table. I have something rather enlightening to share with you."

Hesitation nominal, the entire group shuffled to their feet. Their hands were careful with Oz, but his moans of pain only stopped once he was seated.

Asheburne waited until his audience was appropriately situated. "Very well then. If I can direct your attention to the screens please." The Englishman waited until he secured their obedience. His voice turned hard, flaying each seated person with his tainted knowledge. "The Slayer and Angelus have been sexually involved for the past three months. She has used your trust and faith in her to her and Angelus' advantage. Giles, each time you thought she was in Los Angeles to visit her father, she was sprawled beneath her Master, serving his every perverted whim."

Asheburne waited for a barrage of denials but only received stony silence. Twisting the knife, he purred, "Oz knows. He's known for a while, even though he allowed himself to be soothed with flimsy deceit." The older man turned to the younger boy and mocked him. "She was sleeping with Angel's coat and that's why you smelled his scent on her body? My goodness, boy. Even my newest recruits had to laugh at that one."

 _Break his little leg, Mr. Cat. Break it and smile, that's what you do._ Even though she was staring straight ahead, much like the other members of her squad, Cynthia watched the expressions of blank confusion flicker into anger. _Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry. Up._

Giles didn't glance over at Oz. Instead he chose to state, "It's easy to smear her name, Asheburne. It's no secret how Buffy felt about Angel. But Angel is not Angelus."

"Really?" His thin mouth lifted in a superior smirk. "Since she has been so ridiculously adept at deceiving you, I bring proof of her misconduct."

Jenny took that moment to ask a question of her own. "You obviously have something incriminating to show us. How can we know it isn't doctored?" Her black eyes bored into Asheburne's, unconsciously searching for falsehood.

"Astute question, Ms. Calendar. You won't. But by the time you finish watching our surveillance—"

"Surveillance!" Giles broke in, outraged at the scope of the Council's interference.

"You won't have any doubts about the veracity of our information," Asheburne finished smoothly, despite the jagged interruption. "Shall we begin?"

Xander shifted uneasily in his chair. His hand reached out blindly grasped for Cordelia's. When their eyes met, they reflected the same emotions. _This can't be happening._ Cordelia looked away and met Oz's alert gaze. Worried, she studied him, searching for any signs of lingering danger. Even though his face was haggard, a crimson flush suffused his cheeks.

And that's when Cordelia saw it—guilt.

 _It's true. Oh my god. It's true._ She whipped her attention away from him. Staring at the blue screens, she wondered morbidly what the Council had on Buffy. Despite their surface differences, a part of Cordelia wanted to believe in Buffy's innocence. The other part…that part knew the truth. That part knew when she looked in Oz's eyes.

Without further warning, the screens flickered to life.

Cordelia bit her lip and turned away. She could see the rest of the group follow suit. Whatever happened after this would change everything.

She was right.

There on the small screens, the Slayer's tale of guilt, lies, lust, and empty adoration was shared with all.

The dialogue was clear at times, at others nonexistent. From the first moment in the cemetery when Buffy and Angelus nearly killed the other, to all the subsequent meetings, they were all there to be digested in a most unflattering way.

The audience never saw Buffy's struggle against Angelus. They only saw her desire.

They watched as the dark vampire courted their friend with roses, strawberries, jewels, candles and a fur. They watched as Buffy took visual delight in each offering. Soon, the story descended into a tableau of vampiric lust and female capitulation.

Graphically.

Buffy's awakening under Angelus' unforgiving hand made Giles drop his head in shame. To see his Slayer eagerly clasping her demonic lover made him feel ill. But to realize it had all occurred beneath his very nose…

" **Who's fucking you? Who's fucking the almighty Slayer?"  
"You are! You are, Angelus!"  
"That's right, ANGELUS."'**

Willow turned her mortified gaze away. She risked a glance at Oz only to see his attention fixated on the screen. Anger glinted in his pale orbs, making Willow remember Asheburne's accusation. _He doesn't look shocked. He looks…pissed._ Unfettered realization blossomed in Willow's mind. Following it came pain. _He knew. He really did know. If Oz knew, why didn't he tell me?_

The sounds of Buffy and Angelus' violent coupling drowned out Xander's rapid breathing. His rage became palpable as the images left no doubt to Buffy's willing participation. _I trusted you. All this time I trusted you. You made me think that he wasn't in your life anymore and he was!_

And there was more.

The camera bluntly showcased the secret meetings with unmistakable candor. Angelus' hedonistic appetites were displayed with an unflinching eye. The viewers saw clearly how his carnality was surpassed by Buffy's eagerness to appease them. While their marathon sessions were not shown in their entirety, there was no confusion on how many times the Slayer had submitted to her demon lover.

Nor was there any doubt that, for Buffy, the encounters were more than physical.

" **I love you…I love you…I love you…"**

Asheburne studied the effects of his perfect proof. He felt jubilation at the Slayer's downfall. To know Fate had been so wrong in choosing Buffy over Cynthia was his only satisfaction. That and the ability to rub it in Giles' face.

His gaze slid over to his beautiful protégé. Immediately, her coal orbs turned to his. Asheburne's body clenched at proof of her perfect obedience.

While it would be easy to glut himself on Giles pain, it was almost time for his flawless tool to be on her way. On silent feet, Asheburne walked out of the library. He couldn't hear her footfalls but he knew she was behind him. Once more he burned for his own power over such a dangerous creature.

Coming to an elegant stop, he fixed his gray stare on her blank face. "Did you enjoy your triumph, my dear?"

"Mine?" Cynthia whispered in return.

Asheburne gave into temptation. His cool fingers traced her high cheekbone. "Yours. Giles saw for himself the worthlessness of his Slayer. All our work proves that Buffy should NEVER have been called." He leaned in and glided his cheek across hers. "You should be the Slayer. Not her. Never her."

"It didn't turn out that way." Cynthia's cheek moved of its own accord against his. "I'm not the Slayer and I never will be."

"That's true." Regret echoed in his sigh. "At least for now." Asheburne's hands glided down Cynthia's waist and settled on her lush hips.

"Now?" The question was sharp in her whisper. "What—"

"Ssh." His strong teeth nipped her delicate earlobe. His possession's shudder of pleasure reached out and entrapped him. "Are you ready to finish this tonight?"

"Yes." Cynthia's arms remained by her side.

"Good." Asheburne nipped her again, this time on her shoulder. "When it's over, we'll come to you. And afterwards, how would like a vacation?" His teeth dug in deeper and elicited a low, feminine moan of desire. "Perhaps to the Seychelles? I haven't been there in years, but I'm sure we'll enjoy the waters."

"Council wouldn't like it," she murmured as her hand reached up to clasp his head.

"So what? The Council doesn't have power over us." His mouth hovered over her neck, grazing the site of Simon's scar, before purposely moving to the other side. Asheburne tugged at her sweater and latched onto the smooth skin beneath.

Cynthia stared into the darkness shrouding the hallway. Even in the midst of her body's pleasure, she remembered Simon's words.

" _ **I don't watch her. I watch you. And I don't do this for them, Cynthia. I don't do this because I pine for the Slayer. I do this because I love you and I won't let you die for this cause."**_

"Will you really?" she whispered as she leaned into her mentor's slim, hard body. "Will you come for me or will you let me die too?"

Asheburne paused in the midst of caressing her exquisite backside. Slowly, he pulled away. His hand gripped her small chin and pushed her head back. "You doubt me?"

Cynthia remained silent but her glittering gaze met his unflinchingly.

"I won't let you go, Santiana. Ever. You would do best to believe in that." His cold, handsome features warmed with passion. A sensual smile softened his cruel mouth. "Besides," he breathed as he leaned closer to Cynthia. His lips brushed against hers. "You are my perfect tool. Who else would keep you safer than me? After all, I am your maker."

Cynthia opened her mouth obediently. She allowed the familiar pleasure to awaken. She welcomed the warmth pooling between her thighs, knowing it gave her life. As her tongue slid against his, Cynthia never considered the moral issues of kissing a man twenty years older than herself. It didn't matter. It didn't matter a year ago when she first crawled into his bed—it didn't matter now.

Asheburne nearly lost his head to the passion Cynthia effortlessly aroused in him. Considering the disc had over an hour left of playing time meant he had no need to be in the library. Knowing that none of the soldiers would dare leave their post, or allow the occupants freedom, meant he could take Cynthia now without impunity.

But he hadn't reached his position by allowing passion to rule him.

Still, it had been several months since he last mounted her. It was sweet to have her this close again. So sweet. The taste of Cynthia's mouth intoxicated him, but knowing a filthy vampire had invaded nearly made him gag. _Bastard._ Releasing her reddened lips, Asheburne snarled, "Did you enjoy him?"

Cynthia had no trouble understanding. She stared into his hard gaze and answered, "Yes."

"Would you have given him this?" The older man's furious question was punctuated by a hard push to her mound.

"Yes."

Rage flared frightfully behind his eyes and she felt fear. Asheburne's boast of her ability to break men was no lie. However, there was one man she couldn't beat and he was standing in front of her. When his pale hand touched her throat, Cynthia swallowed once.

"Never again," he hissed. "Do you understand me? NEVER again." Asheburne yanked down her sweater once more. "I don't care if you love him, Santiana. I don't care if you think tonight is just a stupid job. This is going to be removed. I don't want any part of him left."

A shadow passed across her face. There was no point in his threats. Simon was done with her. A vampire so filled with honor could never forgive her dishonorable actions.

"Do you understand me?"

"Yes." She dropped her gaze as the pain washed over her. Several cries of horror seeped through the library doors. Cynthia imagined it was due to watching Angelus whip Buffy and hearing her beg for more. _We all judge you, Slayer. But what right do we have? At least you loved Angelus. What about me?_

Asheburne's voice turned into a soft purr. "This weakness will pass, Cynthia. I promise." His mouth settled over hers once more. This time his kiss was gentle, persuasive, and so very precious. Asheburne smirked when she responded as expected. "He'll never love you more than I do. I'm your world, Cynthia."

"And tonight?"

"Tonight you'll perform beautifully, my dear."

Accepting his hot caresses, Cynthia waited until Asheburne pulled away to kiss the underside of her chin. "When I'm pretending to want Angelus, what then?"

"Angelus, if he survives, will be too distraught with grief to care." His gray eyes flared with smugness. "He'll revert to his old self, needing to drown his emotions until he doesn't feel anymore. Besides, you've courted him well throughout these past weeks. He'll see you as the anti-thesis of his little whore and jump into your welcoming embrace."

"That's not what I meant." Cynthia's voice turned impassive. "Will you still be my world?"

"Of course." Asheburne enveloped the small girl in his arms. "I plucked you from the gutter, darling. I nurtured you. I grew you like the most precious bloom in my garden. No one can mar your petals. Especially not that beast."

 _No one except Simon, Mr. Cat._ Cynthia closed her eyes. "What a pretty way to say, 'Give him your body. Whore yourself for our cause.'"

"You're clever enough, Santiana. If you don't want to have sex with him, then substitute one of the collateral. As charming as you are, he won't be particular."

Cynthia remained silent, her body cooling rapidly. Instances like these reminded her that Asheburne didn't love her. Not as he claimed to. She was just a tool. How could anyone ever love a weapon? _I'm stupid to believe otherwise. Just like Buffy._

No matter how much physical pleasure a man brought to a woman, if he didn't value her spirit, her sense of self-worth, then it wasn't love.

Cynthia knew it. She was sure on some level Buffy did as well. However, logic had a funny way of leaving, especially when a hard body rode yours into carnal oblivion.

 _Buffy. I've hated you for so long and now I wonder…I wonder is it you I hated? Or what I saw of me in you?_

All the cold resentment and harsh judgment Cynthia had built up for two years crumbled away, leaving her wilted and tired. Publicly, she spouted contempt for Buffy Summers. Privately…that was something else. It had been ever since she came to Sunnydale. Months of watching every detail of Buffy's life had worn Cynthia down.

 _Gray. Everything is always gray. Why do we fight it? Why do we always try to categorize life in terms of black and white?_

Asheburne thought she was superior to Buffy. He believed the Slayer's addiction for Angelus made her an unclean warrior. He had drilled it into her consciousness for two years. _How am I better? Other than technicality, how am I better?_ A memory of their last night together before Sunnydale played in her mind.

" _ **You should have been the Slayer. Not her. You're better than that bitch."  
"But then Giles would've been my Watcher."  
"No, he wouldn't."  
"Then who would?"  
"I would. I would be the power behind the almighty Slayer."  
"Power. It's your drug."  
"Absolutely. That and you." **_What Asheburne didn't see was how he was really no different from Angelus.

And that made Cynthia no different from Buffy.

Cynthia's mentor had granted her hours of intoxicating pleasure. Their bodies had joined in countless ways, feverishly at times until even their superior physical stamina had worn out. Asheburne had taught her numerous skills, each more perverse than the last, but it wasn't love.

 _At least you have love on your side, Slayer. At least you love your master. While I…while I have something else for mine._

Her heart ached for Simon while her cunt throbbed for Asheburne. It was sick, dirty, and twisted.

And now Cynthia was to go out and pretend she liked being who she was.

Her self-loathing did not go unnoticed. Asheburne kissed her on the lips once. "Just a few more hours, Santiana," her cruel lover whispered while tracing light patterns on her breasts. "Then we're done. Buffy will be replaced with Faith and we'll be gone. Just think about the Seychelles."

Cynthia clenched her jaw. "I'm not a child, Asheburne. There's no need to tempt me with sweets." She pushed away from him and stalked down the hallway. Tears stung her eyes but she blinked them back. _I'm almost done. I have to keep focus. Emotions mean nothing except weakness. Can't be soft._

"Santiana!"

Her feet froze in place. The quiet click of footsteps approaching her made Cynthia tense.

"Don't fail me tonight."

She turned around and shrugged. His beautiful gray eyes flickered with silver flame, reaching out and battling her black air. "I've never failed you, Thomas. Only myself." With a parting smile, Cynthia walked away and prayed for release. _Please let me get through this night. Let me get through and I swear I'll make it up. I'll do it. You know I will. I always do, don't I?_

The answer Cynthia prayed for never came. But then again, it never did.

Buffy tore through Sunnydale's streets. The pretty, clean, tree-lined avenues sickened her. The quaint, brick buildings with their gold-lettered signs enraged her. She hated them all. How could anything look so beautiful, so comforting, and be so putrid?

She wished she had never come here.

She wished she had never heard of the Hellmouth.

She wished she had never laid eyes on Angel.

She wished she had never fallen prey to Angelus.

She hated him.

She hated herself.

She hated him more.

Bewildered expressions rose up to meet her as she pushed her way through the sudden crowds. Distantly she realized the local movie theater had just let out. Several people fell to the sidewalk as she barreled her way through. However, shocked faces and scraped bodies meant nothing. They all lied. Appearances meant nothing. They all courted disillusionment.

If the good people of Sunnydale thought she was a head-case, they were right.

Her coat suffocated her skin, restricting her wild flight. Buffy tore it off. She flung it on the ground, along with her purse. Her shoes were next. Kicking them, she bent down and threw them into the street. Buffy's skin was still crawling. She couldn't stand feeling anything of Angelus on her body. Without another thought, she ripped her dress off.

Now clad in her underclothing, she went to tear her panties when she felt the chain.

" _ **Why are you giving this to me?"  
"Why shouldn't I? You're my girl, aren't you?"**_

"Liar!" With that whisper, Buffy's finger rent the flimsy material. Her arms automatically yanked the black bra before tossing it into the street. Her hands slid down, their intention clear. Yet, when her nails grazed the jewel's warm surface, she could feel her body begin to shake.

 _I can't do it. I can't do it!_

Turning down a side street, Buffy felt the hot tears leak from her eyes. The crazed fury was giving way to desperation. Her nakedness was symbolic. After it was all said and done, this is what she had left. Nothing. Everything she had worked for in the past year, everything she had sacrificed—none of it meant anything. None of it meant anything because she no longer had Angelus.

Self-hatred welled up inside of Buffy. She screamed aloud in rage. "WHY?!" The high-pitch yell echoed back, forcing her to hear how broken she was. _He made me like him. He made me dirty and wrong…just like HIM. He made me love him and then he made me NOTHING._

Her view of the world blurred, running to shades of black shame.

Buffy crumpled onto the ground. Bits of rubble dug into her skin. She sobbed silently as the pain rent her world apart. Everything hurt so badly. Angelus and Druscilla. Angelus and Others.

She lunged to the side as her stomach finally gave into sickness. Bitter vomit spewed from her mouth and splattered the concrete. Wiping her slack mouth with the back of her arm, Buffy forced herself up. _Not now. I can't break just yet. I have to get there. I have to…_

The wind snaked through the alleyway and elicited a shiver. Shaking her head, she stumbled on. Cries of shock filtered through the pounding in her ears. Someone tried to wrap a jacket around her, but Buffy kept walking. Her nakedness didn't matter. Modesty was something that belonged to someone with a life.

The road hurt her feet, but Buffy pushed past the physical discomfort. The church was only two blocks further, but it felt like a continent away. The idea of using one bit of her unnatural power disgusted her. If she couldn't make the journey with her own untainted skills, then she wouldn't make it.

But she had to make it. She just had to. She needed Father Marion. He was only one who could help her. _He'll understand. He always does. He'll help me make it through the night. He'll keep me from hurting like this…_

Buffy abruptly collapsed against a wall. The bricks rough surface dug into her sensitive flesh. A keening wail whistled past her bloodless lips.

 _Why does it hurt so much? Why can't my head take control of my stupid heart?! He cheated on me! He belonged to me! ME! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM SO MUCH!_

Lifting her bowed head, Buffy saw the dark steeple looming ahead. She pushed off the wall and stumbled forward. In the distance, she could hear a police siren and knew it was for her. Some concerned citizen probably called the police over her nakedness. _I'm not worth it. I'm not worth your pity. I'm nothing. I'm nobody._

The church steps came closer. Sanctuary was nearly in Buffy's grasp. _Father Marion…please. Please be there…_ One of the large doors swung open. Appearing at the entrance was salvation.

Buffy's shuffling steps quickened. Wrapping her arms around her waist, she ignored the acute pain battering through her body. "Father Marion!" she whispered in desperation.

Her savior saw her coming. Instead of rushing out to meet her, the priest stopped at the top step.

"Father…" Buffy rasped pitifully. Agony began shooting through every limb. Gracelessly, she crashed onto the sidewalk. The skin on her knees split under accidental violence.

Father Marion met her grief-stricken gaze. With a heavy head, he began his walk towards doom.

Blood oozed from her wounds, making Buffy cry. "Help me. Angelus. Angelus…he…" Her words slurred dangerously as her skin grew numb.

Aware of Buffy's pain, but unable to ease it, he looked straight into the Slayer and read her heart. Each step passed beneath him along with a memory. The air grew colder and the night blacker. Only the light of Buffy's soul led his way. _Duty is the cross I bear. Duty is the stone I carry. Worthiness is what I determine._

Sunshine.

 _Thirteen steps._

Death.

 _Twelve._

Innocence.

 _Eleven._

Childhood.

 _Ten._

Pain.

 _Nine._

Disappointment.

 _Eight._

Shallowness.

 _Seven._

Responsibility.

 _Six._

Love.

 _Five._

Misery.

 _Four._

Passion.

 _Three._

Obsession.

 _Two._

Heartbreak.

 _One, Buffy. It always comes to one._

Love.

Reaching the final step, Father Marion smiled at the naked girl sprawled before him. Her dull hazel gaze rose to his. "Father," she whispered while struggling to her knees.

"Buffy," he began kindly. Although he knew she needed his comfort, he could not reach out with his body—only his voice could touch her now. "Your world has come to an end. Hasn't it?"

"Yes." Drying tear tracks marked her pale cheeks. "It's over. Angelus…Angelus…" Buffy began sobbing, the ugly heaves filling his ears with her awesome pain. "Angelus…"

The priest's eyes darkened with purpose. "Strength, Buffy. You must have strength."

"I can't!" she wailed bitterly.

Father Marion reached up and undid his collar. Dropping the symbol of his priesthood on the ground, he stated, "You have to."

Buffy's expression of crushed confusion transformed into helpless horror. Before she could draw in breath, a hand reached out from behind Father Marion. The wicked glint of steel flashed once. And then it was done.

Crimson blood burst forth in a deadly rain. The deep gash on Father Marion's neck formed into a hideous grin.

Without a whisper of pain, the priest closed his eyes and fell forward.


End file.
